The Luke and Pete Show - Episode 99: Hunter S Thompson v Mark Wahlberg

Episode Date: September 17, 2018

Hello everyone, we're back and we're talking about daily routines after Mark Wahlberg released his last week to much derision and confusion. There's more fuel to the crucifixion debate, and some time to dissect Pete's strongly held views on veganism and the environment. Strap yourselves in, plant fans!Elsewhere there's time for a Man v Lemurs incident, the lid is lifted on Pete's worst habits, and a startling revelation rears its head regarding an 80s Page 3 girl...If you want to contribute, you'd be very welcome: [e-mail]***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Meow Meow! Who wants some Meow Meow for the 99th episode? Let's get off our trees with Meow Meow. The legal high of choice. Is that MCAT? Don't know. Or is that a different thing? Don't know, mate. Not sure. Let's get off our trees with Meow Meow. The Hartley Pulleys I'm actually getting hold of. Just got out of a tree, mate. Welcome to the Puke and Leet show. Yeah, we're back. Episode 99, as Pete said, gearing up for the big 100. We're on the precipice of greatness.

Or just longevity, I'm not really sure which. Welcome to episode 99 of Luke and Pete's show. Unplanned half hour or so, but we just talk about whatever we want, followed up by some of your lovely emails. If you're a new listener to the show, we'll judge each listener on their merits, but you're probably welcome. I just want their breasts.

That, of course, is Peter Donaldson. I'm Luke Moore. Recently on the Luke and Pete show, we've talked a bit of Keith Moon, a bit of tech deck theft. And if you're of my age, you might have to look that up. Tech decks. Oh oh the tiny wee um bit crucifixion chat yeah between friends i know a couple of people who are fascinated by the idea that you don't die because of the nails you die because of your own body apparently well

i've got an update on that actually okay i've tried a bit of uh crucifixion myself the site oh god although you can give us an update on that side of it, but the scientific consensus apparently is slightly different to the email we read out recently, more or not later. A bit more of a village fates. I mean,

I've never seen a crucifixion at a village fete. I thought you were saying that there was some kind of crucifixion situation going on at the village fete next to the coffee morning bean or book.

Imagine that. Imagine you wake up Sunday morning, have a coffee, and you think, it's a lovely day, there's a village fete nearby. It's a five minute drive away.

I'm going to walk. It's 15 minutes. And you get coffee, and you think, it's a lovely day. There's a village fete nearby. It's a five-minute drive away. I'm going to walk. It's 15 minutes. And you get there, and the first thing you're greeted with is a man, a bearded man of about 30, on a crucifix. Or a man getting his neck opened by a man in a hood. Yeah. I mean, it's not the spirit of things, is it? It's not cricket, is it?

It's not dunk the clown, is. I mean, it's not the spirit of things, is it? It's not cricket, is it? It's not dunk the clown, is it? No, it's not cricket. And we also talked a bit about the most expensive brandy in history, a taste of which was downed in one go and toasted to Donald Trump, which, I mean, I wasn't expecting that. Because if you're someone who is, I mean, admittedly, there's a good chance that if you're someone who requests the most expensive tot of brandy around you're probably going to be fairly obnoxious but there's an outside chance you might be a man of good taste yeah yeah that

wasn't the case in this instance no and him toasting donald trump i mean i think it's worth um giving him a little bit of credit in that they didn't, he wasn't necessarily toasting the character of Donald Trump. I think he was toasting the idea that one of the biggest economies in the world, one of the most influential economies in the world, has a new premier. We should celebrate that and maybe he will bring world

peace. I mean, he won't. He'll fuck everything up. Donald Trump looks like he has been toasted. Doesn't he already? No, thank you. I've been toasted quite enough. Thanks very much. Yeah, so that's what's been floating our boat sort of more recently, Pete. Are we starting to get more? I mean, we'll be more on this on Thursday

for episode 100. Are we getting more reflective as we approach the big number, the big century? Are you starting to sort of reassess what you've been doing with your life? Well, we're looking backwards and things. Are you still enjoying it?

I'm still enjoying it. What, the show? Yeah. things. Are you still enjoying it? I'm still enjoying, what, the show? Yeah. Yeah? Are you still enjoying life? No, God no, never. No? Never. Do you find yourself catching yourself enjoying things and then stopping yourself? Yeah, that's pretty much how my self works. What's your threshold? Well, I've sort of kind of cajoled myself into having

quite a canny kind of lovely life, so that anything that takes me more than an hour, it really upsets me. Like what? Give me an example. It's just anything. Do you clean your own flat?

Yeah. Yeah. Washing up, cleaning, you know, sweeping, anything like that. Cleaning the bathroom. My toilet's forever needing a scrub. I think certain listeners and certain people on the internet will be upset to hear that you clean your own flat

because I think they'd want to use that as a stick to beat you with. What do you mean? Well, I think they would expect you to have a scrub. I think certain listeners and certain people on the internet will be upset to hear that you clean your own flat because I think they'd want to use that as a stick to beat you with. What do you mean? Well, I think they would expect you to have a cleaner. No, again, I'm a bit left wing

so I think you should tidy up your own mess. We've been through this before on this show. Yeah, but you can be left wing and want to put money into the economy. Why should you clean

up your own mess? It's stupid. Well, no, I mean, realistically, you have to clean as you go, whatever the situation, don't you, I mean, realistically, you have to clean as you go, whatever the situation, don't you? Because, you know...

I mean... And the cleaner doesn't live with you, following you around. I had Lord Ramble, after he'd been to cricket, as a visitor one late night last week, and he caught me in my pants playing a first-person shooter

in a house that was only slightly livable in. What time was this? About 9pm. And what day? Monday? Wednesday. I think it was like, yeah,

Monday, Monday. Yeah. I will always accept guests, but I'm just, I will point out now that my house is frequently a shit pit. Yeah. What's your worst habit?

Well, I live alone, so not getting rid of empty shower gel bottles. It's like a ball pool at the bottom of my shower. That's the easiest thing in the world, though. It's not. Because you're in the shower and you're like, shower, shower, shower, and then you're out, and then you're like, oh, shit,

I forgot to get the bottles out. I mean, with respect, your flat is small, so you can just go three or four steps into the bathroom and get them. Yeah, you're right. Okay, so that's your... I live alone, I use my oven as storage. I don't, I don't, but I'm thinking about it. If that's your worst habit, that's not too bad.

I used to live across the road from a derelict building, and now there's an office there, so they always have high-powered meetings, and I'm just walking around in my pants going, hello. Is that the name of your first album? I used to live across the road from a derelict building good all right um something that i that really um grabbed my attention this week pete i'm hoping you're unaware of this because it's so up your street that for me the sweet spot is finding something you're passionately interested in but also that

you haven't already seen yeah and because you're part internet it's very very difficult to do that yeah um now tell me of the headline for this story floats your boat. And I hope it floats those listening as well, their respective boats. A lot of boats knocking about. Listen to this. Stoned Kiwi, as in man from New Zealand, breaks into zoo, gets bashed by tiny monkeys. Gets bashed. gets bashed by tiny monkeys.

Gets bashed? A 23-year-old man who was high decided he wanted to grab and take home a squirrel monkey. Now, there's many problems with that, of course. Cruelty to animals being one. Two being, apparently, it would massively break quite stringent security and public health protocols in New Zealand because they've got a big thing about invasive species and all that kind of stuff.

If indeed it was in New Zealand, but anyway, I imagine it would be a public health risk anyway. But anyway, apparently he grabbed some bulk croppers, smashed through a couple of padlocks because he noticed that I think the security on that particular enclosure wasn't great. It was the easiest monkey to grab. I mean, yeah, and you would probably think that if someone said to you, right, this message was self-destructing in a minute,

but here's what you've got to do. I'm going to kill all your family or whatever. You've got to go and steal any type of primate. I would watch that film. From a zoo. It would be a good film. You'd probably go, I mean, you would be forgiven for going for a squirrel monkey because they're small.

They're quite small yeah and adorable they've got cute little noses so apparently so he goes ahead and tries to do this

he bypassed an unsecured gate broke through two padlocks and it wasn't his inn it was at Wellington in Wellington Zoo apparently and he was in a

catchwander zoo of squirrel monkeys he wanted to take it home to his girlfriend I mean the exuberance of youth what actually happened and sadly two of the squirrel monkeys were injured in this incident he wanted to take it home to his girlfriend. I mean, the exuberance of youth. What actually happened?

Sadly, two of the squirrel monkeys were injured in this incident, which obviously is dreadful. But the name of the guy, which escapes me, John someone, John sadly came out of the cage with a broken leg, two fractured teeth, a sprained ankle, and bruises all over his body. Sorry? How did he do that?

Apparently they just descended on him. You can't break, a squirrel monkey cannot break someone's leg. He clearly just fell over. How many of them know? Listen, you know that age-old question about

would you rather fight like a lion-sized duck or Well, he got his answer, didn't he? Yeah. He got his answer. They're the injuries he came out with.

10 squirrel monkeys. How did he get the two fractured teeth? Why don't you just give him a right-hander? I love it. I love that. Smashed a nut in his face.

Squirrel monkeys are not squirrels, Pete. Don't be a dick. The only thing that could make this story better would be if he came out covered in monkey shit because they were just

flinging shit at him from the tree. I think I always find that chimps throwing shit and monkeys throwing shit has been a bit of a misnomer. I worked in a zoo.

I never saw that happen. I saw the master bit lots of times. Because they see you as a kindred spirit. I worked in the zoo. I never saw that happen. I saw the mastabite lots of times. Because they see you as a kindred spirit. That's why. But apparently this guy, he had been,

he was wanted for a load of unrelated offences anyway. Oh. Monkey related offences? Yeah. Does that count as unrelated? Other ones, yeah. Other ones.

And so he ended up, I think he ended up going inside for a bit. But apparently, yeah, squirrel monkeys only grow to 35 centimetres and weigh no more than a kilo

aww that's so cute but they've got the largest brain to body mass ratio of all the primates including us so they're probably out thoughting

setting a series of challenges so he can get out it's like Home Alone before you start yeah it is but there you go so I thought you'd

enjoy that mate I did enjoy that you hadn't seen that story before no no I hadn't and on the football ramble our other our sister station, our mother station, if you will, our mothership,

I had a nightmare, didn't I, with the old monkeys. I was trying to count to ten kinds of monkeys. You didn't even say squirrel monkey. No, I didn't, no. They don't come to mind, to be honest. But I did say lemurs were monkeys. They are primates, but they're obviously... I was surprised when you said that.

And I called you out on the show. And I think it's a sort of error that a man of your estimable knowledge shouldn't be I got confused by their by their tails I always think

because all monkeys have tails macaques are monkeys but lemurs as far as I understand lemurs have have evolved independently and you only get them on what Madagascar maybe

yeah and so that that's why they've evolved completely different to everything else. More natural predators. They've got two tongues. Oh, is that right?

Yeah. One hard tongue to groom each other. Oh, keep going. I'd love a second tongue. It's not one of those Japanese porn movies, is it? You know, also, one thing that's fascinating about that, do you know the species native to Madagascar called the aye-aye? It's got a really long

end of a finger. to get termites and stuff. Well, apparently, evolutionary speaking, that finger performs exactly the same role as woodpeckers do in Northern Europe.

Ah, exactly the same thing. Yeah. Yeah. Tapping and pulling out bugs and that kind of stuff. Grubs and that kind of stuff. It works in exactly the same way,

but it's evolved independently. Divergent evolution, I think it's called, or convergent evolution. They look like bats, they're weird little things. If you're ever lucky enough to be in a zoo where there's an aye-aye you will rarely see them because I think they're almost completely nocturnal, they're incredibly strange things. They've got one at Bristol Zoo and it's almost impossible to see it and it's in the, what would you call the enclosure where it's always night time nocturnal enclosure and it just sits

at the back but the thing about that is the reason they became so endangered is because local people thought that they would steal their souls if they caught eye contact

with them which if you come from a different background to us it's sort of understandable really that's a spooky looking animal yeah absolutely

if I saw one now if I'm walking back down you know upper Street in Islington and I'm presented with an IR going through one of the bins, I would shit a brick. I'd absolutely shit a brick. But he's like the,

I don't think he's the spookiest thing, Paul Bearer from the wrestling. If you saw Paul Bearer walking down the street. That's his full name, Paul Bearer from the wrestling. If you saw him walking down the street with an R and you'd be like,

oh, he's standing away from that guy. But I find it- He's either spooky or mental. I'm not having either. No, it could be both. I've got a situation where a fox keeps digging up my garden. So I have to keep going out there and repairing the flower beds and stuff.

And if I go out there on my own at night and I come face to face with a fox, I wouldn't say I'm scared, but there's like an element of sort of intimidation. And that's just a fox. And I know I read that tabloid story years ago about the fox that stole that baby or whatever.

I know that's probably not true. I can't really remember the detail. But there's an element of jeopardy there. If you were living in Africa or somewhere where they

actually have quite dangerous animals, you went out to your back garden. I mean, it happens up in where my wife's from. Sometimes you get bears going through the bins

and stuff. You absolutely shit yourself. I've got to go camping in Zimbabwe in a few weeks' time. Well, that's a curveball. Please tell me more.

I've got to go. Remember, I went to Kenya last year and I saw that hippo get hit in the face with a tray, by the way. T-shirt.

Clang. I've got to go to Zimbabwe in a week's time and I've got a bed down in a tent, I believe. What's the... Save charity. Okay. I've got a bed down in a tent, I believe. What's the... Save charity, practical action

to do great work in, yeah, Zimbabwe. Oh, we'll look forward to hearing about that. Zimbabwe's like a... Like, you've got to fly to either Nairobi or you've got to change

in South Africa and fly back up again. It's crazy. Johannesburg, you've got to fly back up again. You can't fly direct to Zimbabwe? No, 16 hours.

Why can't you fly direct there I don't know it might be there are you sure you can fly to Harare though no you can't fly direct or there's certainly

nobody not anymore anyway I was reading there I think just the fact the country's a bit of a fucking mess politically I think it's or Zimbabwe's not allowed

to fly they're one of those kind of banned airlines I read only this morning you got a little sniffle I got a cough cough I've had a flight two weeks airlines? I read only this morning but you got a little sniffle. I got a cough cough. I've had it for like two weeks. Terrible.

I was reading only this morning and it's going to sound like I'm saying this to shit you up but I genuinely didn't read it and that they've banned public assembly in the short term in Zimbabwe

because there's been a cholera outbreak. Oh. And I think they might be quite close to declaring a state of emergency. Oh good. Oh good.

I've had me... That might just be anticipation of Utah. I'd be in my to declaring a state of emergency. Oh, good. Oh, good. I've had me... That might just be anticipation of Utah. I'd be in my shots for Kenya, to be fair. But if it ruins my holiday, it's too late. It's not a holiday, it's a working trip. No, if it ruins my holiday afterwards. I've got an holiday afterwards, haven't I? The only other question I had for you this time around, Peter,

is I was having a conversation with a couple of pals, and I'm assuming you've got nothing to bring to the table today, so that's why I'm doing this. Right, okay. Is that a fair assumption? I've got a conversation with a couple of pals and I'm assuming you've got nothing to bring to the table today so that's why I'm doing this. Right, okay. Is that fair? What do you mean? I've got a few things. Oh, go on then.

No, you go ahead. Mark Wahlberg's daily regime. Absolutely great. You're bang on to bring this up. Now, one thing that hasn't been made about this, do you want to take listeners through it quickly in case they haven't heard it? Mark Wahlberg is currently training for some film where he's got to look a bit buff.

And everyone's going wild online about his... It's called Mile 22, is it not? Yeah, something like that. And basically he posts on Instagram his daily routine. And it's rather shocking. Yeah. It's weird and shocking. 2.30 a.m.

A.m. A.m. Wake up. Already? Already it's fucking bullshit. 2.45am. Prayer time. What's he doing in that 15 minutes, Pete?

Wank. Quick wank. He's probably spending 14 of those minutes going, it's fucking 2.30am. Why am I doing this? 2.45am. Prayer time. 3.15am.

Breakfast. That's half an hour for prayers. 3.40am to 5.15am.. That's half an hour for prayers. 3.40 to 5.15am a workout. Then 5.30am a post-workout meal. 6am shower. 7.30am golf. And he only has half an hour for golf. Driving range, mate.

Just bang a few balls. Hit a few balls. 8am snack. 9.30am cryo chamber recovery after the snack. And that goes on for an hour. So he's got half an hour for golf and a.m cryo chamber recovery after the snack um and that goes on for an hour so he's got half an hour for golf and an hour for a whole hour cryo you're only allowed to stay in those for five minutes um 10 30 a.m snack uh 11 a.m family time slash meeting slash work calls no acting in any no practicing his craft yeah um 11 a.m family time etc. 1 p.m. lunch, 2 p.m. meetings, work calls.

3 p.m. pick up the kids at school. 3.30 p.m. snack. 4 p.m. workout number two. And then 5 p.m. it's a shower. Then 5.30 p.m. dinner, family time. And then 7.30 p.m. bedtime. He's getting his head down at 7.30 to be fair. Like my dad.

Apart from the workouts and the cryo chamber and the golf. No, not enough DVDs. If you're going to bed at 7.30, and I understand people's body clocks are different, so if you're going to bed at 7.30, when you're getting up at 2.30, that's seven hours or whatever it is. That's okay.

Yeah. That's not too bad. He should have a snap. This is a snap. He should have a snack in the afternoon. Sorry, not a snack. Literally asleep. He should have a little nap.

Why isn't anyone replying to him saying, why are you telling us this? Why are you telling us this? Well, it reminded me of the Hunter S. Thompson's daily routine. I haven't seen that. Do you remember reading that back in the day? This was in his biography by E. Jean Carroll. The Strange and Savage Life of hunter s thompson

a little bit different to mark walberg's yeah 3 p.m rise uh 305 shivas regal with the morning papers dunhill uh dunhill cigarette 345 cocaine uh 350 another glass of shivas dunhill um uh 405 first cup of coffee Dunhill 4.15 more cocaine 4.16 orange juice in the Dunhill 4.30

cocaine 4.54 cocaine 5.05 cocaine 5.11 coffee Dunhills

cocaine then coffee that's overkill I mean I know the Dunhills are taking the edge off I don't know but 5.30 more ice in the Sheevas 5.45

cocaine 6pm grass to take the edge off 5.30 more ice in the Sheevas 5.45 cocaine 6pm grass to take the edge off do you know what the big difference Pete apart from the obvious between this and Mark

Woolberg is that Hunter S Thompson has clearly had to have someone else doing this for you this is probably more accurate because they're

literally just watching what he's doing 7.05pm Woody Creek Tavern for lunch Heineken two margaritas,

two cheeseburgers, two orders of fries, a plate of tomatoes, coleslaw, a taco salad, a double order of onion rings, carrot cake, ice cream,

bean fritter, Dunhills, another Heineken, cocaine, and for the ride home, a snow cone. I've got no problem with any of that.

Which is a glass of shredded ice over which is poured three or four jiggers of shivers. 9pm, cocaine, 10pm, drops acid uh 11 p.m chartreuse what's chartreuse chartreuse it's some kind of liquor isn't it uh cocaine and grass um there's a lot of uppers and downers there isn't there chartreuse is a french liquor yeah yeah up and down um 11 30 cocaine midnight ready to write.

A lot of prep. A lot of prep. And then between 12 and 6 in the morning, cocaine, grass, coffee, Heineken, clove cigarettes, grapefruit, Dunhill's, orange juice and gin. 6 a.m., he ends the evening in the hot tub, Fettuccine Alfredo, Dove bars and champagne. Dove bars is the soap, is that right Dove Bars?

Dunno God knows He's getting grapefruit in there you've got to get your five a day Yeah and then 8am he takes Halcyon which is I think an old school opiate sleeping tablet

and then 20 past 8 he's asleep 20 past 8 huh? I mean so that's what's going to happen for episode 100 that's what we're going to do Yeah

we'll follow his routine apparently 12am ready to podcast Dove Bars is an American ice cream apparently happen for episode 100. That's what we're going to do. Yeah, we'll follow his routine. Apparently, 12am, ready to podcast. Dove Barr is an American ice cream. Oh, right, okay. Ah, that makes

sense. So, I mean, who's got the more healthier lifestyle there? I think really you've got a pitch in between, haven't you?

He was very svelte as Hunter S. Thompson. Yeah, for all that food. All that food. The experience I have of people behaving in that way, which is obviously not as experienced as Hunter S. Thompson,

is that they're all quite skinny because they just don't eat. Yeah. None of them eat. There's no time for food. If they drop that much fucking chisel, they would probably, surely their bodies would work off the muscle, work off the fat more, maybe.

I don't know. Maybe. You're a much slimmer man than me, so why don't you tell me what you like. I do like cork, isn't it? I like cork. There we go. I think if you're aiming for some sort of daily routine,

don't go too far, Wahlberg, but don't go too far, Thompson. A little bit of what you like does you good, but everything in moderation. I was waiting for Mark Wahlberg to have the bit in his day at three in the morning to go out and repair the flower beds because the fox has dug it up again. No, none of that.

There we go. All right, listen. Speaking of eating well, before we get to any emails, I know we're cracking on a bit. Actually, we'll do a quick ad break, and I'll come back with my thoughts on veganism. Good. The problem appears to be...

We had him last week. Let's have someone else. So the first step is to find the right position for you. Put your hands down and lower your chest to the ground. Just do that and pretend that you're holding poop in. And it should sound a lot like this. Great payoff, that. Someone on WhatsApp just sent me a sexy lady in the form of an ASCII little picture.

It's a pregnant lady. Is it? Oh. Yeah. I think she's just sticking her belly out. Yeah, maybe. For effect. I was just writing down the time.

And that's why I didn't give her my seat on the tube. ASCII lady, get off. You just made her characters, mate. The age-old saying about veganism. I'll start you off here. asky lady get off you just made a character's mate the age old saying about veganism I'll start you off here

I'll start the countdown you can take the full explosion the age old saying about veganism is how do you

know someone's a vegan because they've told you or something because they tell you so why don't

you take the floor and tell us your thoughts it's not my thoughts I was reading in the Guardian we talk a lot about the meat disgusting rag or something? Because they tell you, yeah. So why don't you take the floor and tell us your thoughts. It's not my thoughts. I was reading in the Guardian, we talk a lot about the methane. Disgusting rag.

Disgusting rag. We talk about like methane and basically livestock and if we all gave up meat, we'd have a very different situation when it comes to releasing methane. Consumption of meat is one of the worst contributors to climate change.

Exactly. But the carbon cost of ploughing fields for preparation for growing things is almost exactly the same. Oh, really? Okay. Yeah. So up to 70% of the carbon in our cultivated soils has been lost to the atmosphere. So obviously when you rotate a crop field,

you're releasing a lot of carbon dioxide. So if you're kind of, unless you're sourcing your vegetarian, vegan products specifically from no-dig systems, like organic systems, you're basically participating in the same destruction of soil biomass and basically releasing, you know, promoting a system that deprives other species, including small animals, birds, and reptiles of the conditions for life

and significantly contributing to climate change yourself. So we can't win, Luke. We can't win. We shouldn't. Let's just kill ourselves. Why does everything end like that with you? Sypical.

We've got to become one of those weird cults that insist that all they need is air and sunlight. Yes. And they all die. I do that. They all die eventually, don't they? So basically, there's nothing we can do is what you're saying.

No. I wonder if we could find out the most environmentally friendly way to live in terms of your diet consumption. Because I knew the fact about meat, but I didn't know anything about that stuff. And one of the other things that contributes, far as I'm aware is this idea that, so back in the day, it used to be, lots of food used to be seasonal. So if you wanted an apple in March,

You're out of luck, mate. Yeah, because they harvest in September or whatever. But when people started to get obviously cheap travel and fly and freight and that kind of stuff, you go and buy some blueberries

from Sainsbury's and they come from Chile or something. I remember a time when you just couldn't get certain fruits at various times. I seem to remember

there being a lot of starfruits around. We don't eat as many starfruits anymore. They never really float. I used to see them but I don't think I ever used to have them.

No. Have we ever had a starfruit? I don't think I ever have. No, I don't either. What's inside them? Do you have to peel it? Yeah. They look like quite waxy

kind of... I've never had one. Are they citrus fruits? They look like citrus fruits. Yeah. Maybe we should get rid of the older generation in a method I like to call ubesute. Ubesute.

Ubesute, yeah. Ubesute, which is a Japanese, it literally means abandoning an old woman. Right. Sounds like a spin-off of Uber. Abandoning a parent is the mythical practice of genocide in Japan, where you just take someone up a hill and just leave them there. I mean, what?

How is that even a thing? What do you mean? Well, that's how they... What, to kill someone? Yeah, well, if... Because they can't fend for themselves. Yeah, if the family feels like the older generation isn't... It's not effective to keep them alive.

They just take them to a, they used to take them to a big hill and just leave them there. Was there loads of them up there then? I think so, yeah, apparently. I mean, it's reported that this is mythical, but. Right. Sunnyside has been practiced by,

or killing, the killing of older people have been practiced by a lot of people. Once they start becoming a burden on the society and the community, you just take your parents out. How awful. The Inuits, that was a big thing with them, wasn't it? I don't know.

Leave them on a glacier or something. What does Stuart Donaldson think about this? Well, TikTok, that's all I'm saying. TikTok, I point to the watch he gave me. It reminds me of that advert with Peter Kay where he takes his mum to the old people's home. And she's like, I'm only 55. And he's like, come only 55 and he's like

come on and he puts a snooker snooker table in her bedroom whatever shall we do a couple of emails alright then

I did promise an email vis-a-vis the crucifixion the crucifixion situation oh yeah the crucifixion situation and this one's from Nick it's a bit of an update

now we reported a couple of episodes ago or so that when you are crucified, apparently, the way you die is asphyxiation. It's not anything to do with the bleeding to death out of the wounds or anything like that. Apparently, it's asphyxiation.

But Nick from Manchester has been in touch. He said, hi, guys. The real reason for death by crucifixion being asphyxiation is, I'm afraid, a myth. All of this is from the excellent Mary Roach's book, Stiff, which is about the various uses of dead bodies guys the real reason for death by crucifixion being asphyxiation is i'm afraid a myth all of this is from the excellent mary roach's book stiff which is about the various uses of dead bodies for the purposes of anatomy labs and research and the like and highly recommended the myth comes from dr pierre barbet who seems like a mix of the worst aspects of science and religion in a shit bag of a

human being first what you really think nick most of his research was around proving the veracity of the shurin shroud a counter study from fredugibe showed that it's easy to stand in the position you would be if crucified for well over 45 minutes. Now, I don't necessarily think that's relevant, because if you're going to be crucified, they're not going to go, oh, we'll give you half an hour. They're going to say, you're staying up there, big lad. Good luck. Anyway, a literature review from Maslin and mitchell showed that there could be several possible causes but there's no support for the suffocation theory now apparently um some of

them are cardiac rupture heart failure hypovolemic shock acidosis asphyxia arrhythmia and pulmonary embolism can i can i add on we to that list just bored, just bored. Just, ugh. One of the... This sucks. See if you can guess another one, which I purposely haven't included there, which I think you'll find fascinating. Give me another way that people crucified 2,000 years ago or whatever could possibly die.

Spine problem. The vertebrae, slip disc. That's more exciting than that. Oh. And more vicious. Is it up my street? I think you'll find it interesting. Think about what we talked about at the top of this.

Think about what we talked about at the top of this. Prypism? When the man who jumped into the monkey cage. Oh, I don't know. Attacked by wild animals. You're nailed up there, mate. You can't defend yourself. Yeah, but you're pretty high up, aren't you?

Unless it's an elephant. Oh, it's a giraffe. Got it. It's going to nibble my... They're here before, so you'll be fine. yourself. Yeah, but you're pretty high up, aren't you? As an elephant. Oh, it's a giraffe. Gutted. It's going to nibble my... They're here before, so you'll be fine. Yeah. Yeah, apparently attacked by wild animals has been reported. Oh.

There we go, see? The crucifixion conversation will just run and run. Let's ask the... When was the last one done? Saudi Arabia, was it? Yeah, about 2015, wasn't it? Yeah. Let's ask those guys.

There we go. Oh, there you go. Have you got an email, Peter, next? I've not got an email because I'm in the wrong account. Do you want to do one more? Sure. I'll jump in

and then that'll be in the show and we'll get on the 100 one. That's the spirit. That's the spirit. What do you want? Do you want butterfly effect? Do you want more parachute chat? Do you want First World War chat?

Do you want tall person problems? Do you want Dad's bringing home stuff from work? Oh, Dad's bringing stuff home from work please okay and the final one was gonna be about meatloaf so we'll go with this one um this is from oh it's anonymous the guy doesn't want to be named weak and uh and cowardly um so he says hey luke and pete so i'm just writing down crucifixion here for the right synopsis later okay um hi luke and pete catching up on the podcast and heard you talking about dad's bringing stuff home from work growing up my dad

owned a local news agent and once or twice a year he would hit the jackpot um it's not a local news agent to me because it's far away yeah okay growing up my dad owned a news agent thank you um depending on where you live it could be described as local. And once or twice a year, he would hit the jackpot. He would come home with a couple of retail boxes of Panini stickers. Oh, wow. They would have got lost in transit between the depot and the shop. And we're talking world cup and premier league.

Me and my sister would diligently sit in the living room, opening a pack after pack after pack, organizing them by number and getting RSI from the peeling and sticking hundreds of them into our album. We had about 10 years worth of complete albums. The best bit was being king of the school playground for the next few weeks, dishing out unwanted swaps

for whatever snacks my mates would have in their lunchboxes that day. I prefer to stay anonymous so as to not incriminate my dad. Keep up the great work. Now, that's a brilliant story on the face of it. It's ideal if you're 12 or whatever

or 13 you're loving that but I put it to you Mr Pete Donaldson that part of the attraction of stickers is the jeopardy is that

will I get the one I want can I swap with my pal if you've got all of them if you've got the keys to the castle spoils it and also but then

even then even in a box full of stickers that doesn't guarantee anything in particular does it no but I mean

sooner or later you are going to hit the jackpot and especially with modern collectibles things like Magic the Gathering

and stuff there's a pretty decent trade of people opening up the boxes and then resealing them in a professional manner and then selling them

more rare cards off excuse me that's why we can't have nice things but there's a thread about modern life here and it's as you get older and it's as you get access to more sort of for want of a better word stuff the jeopardy in panini is are you going to get what you want yeah the idea of enjoying music for me was maybe only being able to afford one cd and having to think very carefully about which one I wanted

and then ruin the decision if I got it wrong or I didn't like it. It's the same when you've got a bit of disposable income and not even that much. You go into a shop and you say, do you know what, I fancy a little sweet treat. And you can afford all of them. So you think, well, I don't know what I want because I can get everything.

And I think that's a really underrated and sad part of growing up. Yeah, because you can just get everything you want. Yeah. Well, get everything. Yeah. And I think that's a really underrated and sad part of growing up. Yeah, because you can just get everything you want. Yeah. Well, not everything, but... With anything that you would want. It doesn't happen to me with cars. Anything. Or houses.

Anything that you would want if you were like 10. Everything I wanted at 10, I could buy now. And that's the most depressing thing. And what were those things? Top three things that you wanted when you were 10? New inhaler? I think I probably said this on the show before, but I remember telling my teacher,

it was like, if I was a millionaire, very capitalistic kind of way of doing an assignment for the teacher, Mrs. Barlow. She said, right, you've got to write a story about what would you do if you were really, really rich. And I wrote, I would... She's looking for ideas. I would make... No, I didn't She's looking for ideas. I would make...

No, I didn't say make love. I said I would sleep with Samantha Fox. How old were you? I didn't really know what... Eight. I didn't really know... You couldn't do that now.

It's a bad example. Well, no, I know it's a bad example and it showed me it'd be a right little wrong. I didn't know what sleeping with someone was and I didn't know

who Samantha Fox was necessarily. What did the teacher say say uh she was like do you even know what that means she got really annoyed about it but then that was the same teacher who came um back from a weekend and made us um disassemble um or analyze the lyrics to the song lisa stanfield uh been around the world and i i can't find my baby because I think she'd been through a breakup wow and she was asking primary school kids

to pretty specialist teaching she was literally but I don't understand it's because she's lost her baby and she's looking for her baby

yeah she loves this man and she was clearly going through something this student teacher this young teacher she's trying to poor Mrs Barlow

she's throwing herself into her work but Pete why did you think because given the way that story about Sam Fox This student teacher. This young teacher. Poor Mrs Barlow. She's throwing herself into her work. But Pete, why did you think, because given the way that story about Sam Fox, it was framed by your teacher as what you would do if you were a millionaire. I also said that I, well, I'll be rich and famous and be able to romance Samantha Fox into bed,

but sleep, like sleeping with Samantha Fox. I think she'd get anywhere. Yeah. All right. Well, you weren't to know that when you were eight. No. Well, I clearly wasn't to know what sleeping was and why. No.

It's a very cynical sort of thing that money and influence would buy me the chance, the opportunity to hang out with Samantha Fox at eight years old. Yeah. I can remember when I was about the same age, a group of kids in my school. So we would have been, I probably would have kids in my school, so we would have been, I probably would have been a bit older, maybe we'd be about 10.

I remember a group of boys in my school saying that they wanted to start a petition to have a condom machine in the boys' toilet at 10. And looking back, you've just reminded me of that. And looking back on that now, that's mad.

Because there's absolutely no reason for that to exist. Mark, who went to an all-boys Jewish school in North London, Haberdashers, who's a fellow who does Ali G, Sacha Baron Cohen, he was in, I think he was in

either Mark's class or Mark's year, or maybe a couple of years or one way or another, and he started a petition to put a tampon machine in the boys toilet that's mental that's mad isn't it

I think he got I think he might have got it no shut up I think he might have got it I don't know that's what Mark says anyway alright on that absolute

bombshell I also said I wanted to own a oil company like GR from Dallas now you're talking that's good stuff that's how you you were a young capitalist

I love it and you've never deviated from that and sexual deviant as well now you're talking that's good stuff that's how you you were a young capitalist I love it and you've never deviated from that and sexual deviant as well and good for you it's not right I'm disappointed with my 8 year old self

as 8 years old you wanted to romance Samantha Fox on an oil rig good for you an oily both of you dressing overalls

oily Samantha Fox yeah you've got a big ratchet over your shoulder steady right we're back on Thursday for episode 100.

What? I thought this was episode 100 when I came into the studio. Strap yourselves in, guys. It's going to be probably... The same. Yeah. you