The Luke and Pete Show - Every day we're skitching

Episode Date: April 16, 2020

Happy Thursday to you all! On today's Luke and Pete Show we discuss the chilling development that Pete might be renting a dog during lockdown, before apologising to the entire state of Illinois for forgetting about them last week. Yeah, sorry about that.Elsewhere there's Coolish, cheese rolling and Chinese takeaways before we listen to your stories about MSN Messenger, bids to impress girls, and plenty more besides. Oh, and stick around until the end for a textbook Donaldson meltdown about, of all things, the misunderstanding of improvisation in comedy.To email, it's: [e-mail]  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

and we're back with a luke and pete show on a thursday oh i had too much spit in me throat there i couldn't get through the intro i'm pete donaldson i'm joined by born dry luke moore how you doing mate hello i feel reasonably well hydrated after the absolute debacle that was the outro to Monday's show where I got caught red-handed and Nalgene in my way around. Red-handed. Well, blue-handed because your Nalgene flask is blue. Didn't Nalgene, didn't you try and CC Nalgene into your, into a tweet?

So I want this show to be sponsored by Nalgene as passionately as you want it to be sponsored by Coolish yeah I've been on at Coolish on the older Brondjie pancake and they've launched some new flavours for the summer mandarin flavour and calpis flavour

as well and I keep replying and oh they will not they're actually solic not they're actually soliciting uh they're actually soliciting like where do you enjoy your coolish where do you enjoy your eating your ice cream in a capri sun kind of packet and i reply and i get nothing i think i've been muted luke to be honest i think you probably have what what was the second flavor there it sounded like you said cow piss cow piss yeah it's like uh it's like it can sometimes be fizzy. It can sometimes not be fizzy.

It's like a yogurt-flavored soft drink. It's a little bit like a watery, slightly sweeter Yakult. It's delicious. Okay. Why don't they export this delicious stuff to the UK? You can buy it in Japanese supermarkets. It's just one of those flavors that people will probably oh yogurt flavored water disgusting is it expensive in the uk you can't buy coolish in the uk that's why i'm so furious that's what i just said why don't

they export it to the uk oh right okay i mean it's basically just soft serve ice cream in a capri sun packet it's nothing special but i've decided to brand myself as something underwhelming because i hate myself, as you've already discussed. Yeah, so you've basically nailed your colours to an underwhelming product, so you feel worse about yourself. Yeah, it's half irony and half self-hate, and that's the Neapolitan. Actually, three flavors of Neapolitan, isn't there?

You've just described the broadcasting career of Luke Moore. We have some interesting news, Pete. One is that, shout out to everyone that pointed out that last week when we were trying to name the US states we visited, both of us forgot Illinois, despite us quite famously playing a live show in Chicago not six months ago, whenever it was. Yeah, there is that, isn't there?

Yeah, we muffed up on that one. Well, maybe people will give it. That gives people an idea as to why we always repeat stories because we don't know what we're doing. We have to have a system. What I have to do is I have to transport all the emails from the email inbox into a document, and I delete them as I go.

Otherwise, we'll just end up reading the same emails all the time. Oh, yeah, hugely. Hugely. I mean, I'm trying to go through the emails now to set up the second half of the show. I mean, we use a piece of software called Zencaster, not to let you through the curtains too much. And obviously, it's very much boom time for any tele-networking

or tele-recording software. They're having what can only be described as a fucking lovely time uh financially and uh there's a premium version of the product there's a non-premium version of the product and uh we're on the non-premium version of the product because we like to invest in ourselves and no they've waived the fee for the premium one mate yeah well i'm yeah well they're very they're very into me not into me getting involved with the professional but they have yeah but it's really confusing anyway if every time i log on to zencaster it asks me why i'm not interested in the professional version because i just say no um and there's loads of different ways it's like uh it's too

expensive i'm not podcasting anymore i'm tired tired. Leave me alone. I'm scared of the internet. There's all these little excuses you can give. And every time, whichever one you choose, about five minutes later, you get an email from the CEO of Zencastr saying, Oi, why is our product too expensive? Oi, why have you stopped podcasting? Oi, why are you scared of the internet? And all of my inboxes are just filled. Every last one of them is filled with

just that. The CEO of Zencastr having a right old bitch. Yeah. Pete, if we get banned from Zencastr, you do realize

our business will finally go under. So, that's a low percentage play by you. Well, listen, while you're doing that,

listen, Megan sent us this really interesting thing on Twitter as well. She sent us a website called weirdorconfusing.com. It's a great little thing. Have you seen it? No, no, I haven't. So basically, it's weird or confusing stuff currently for sale on eBay,

and you click on a button, and it gives you a randomly generated listed item. Oh, nice. And the whole website just says, sell me something weird or confusing, please. And you click on the button. So I'm going to click on the button right now. And what I've got, it's great, right? Sizzling bacon, adhesive bandages in a collectible bandaid tin.

So you can buy some plasters that look like a rasher of bacon. I get offered those a lot on Instagram and Facebook. Do you? Yeah, it's one of those products that always comes up for me. That's very strange. I've clicked on it again. The next thing I've been served up is a book, which is a million random digits just in a book.

Right. What's that for then? Is that for like competitions? I mean, random numbers is quite useful, isn't it? Next up. It underpins a lot of computer programming. Yeah, but I don't think that's why it's going to work. I don't know why I said programming.

It's really enjoyable though. Next up, crafting with cat hair. A book on cute cat handicrafts to make with your cat. Does that make you feel sick? That genuinely makes me feel sick because this, I saw a post from somebody whose mum had snipped off her son's dreadlock and made like a, like kind of crocheted it into like a, I'd probably call it, looked like a coaster of some kind.

It looked, oh, disgusting. Yeah, so people make little kind of little models of cat hair which just looks like compounded cat hair fluff balls. It's a bit weird. Some people are very weird about hair, aren't they? It's utilitarian, but I just don't want, well, I'm highly allergic to cats. So it would be, you know, here's a comedy moustache. It's not cat hair.

Oh, no, I'm dead. Pete, you're still allergic to dogs as well, aren't you? Yeah, although I did recently sign up to, not as bad as cats in any small way, but in any big way. But small way, big way, it doesn't matter. It does not matter. Borrow my doggy. I signed up to borrow my doggy because I'm very lonely at the moment.

And, oh, it's like internet dating, I think. I just get every new day, I get an email with a new sexy dog in my area. Oh, Pete, I don't think you'll pass the test for that. Surely people need to be screened for that type of service. Apparently not. Apparently. Well, anyone can own a dog and look after a dog, can't they?

You only have to kill one dog and you're known as the dog killer of Soho. Which would replace all of my other nondiplomes. I'd love it if the person who run that website listens to this show. The emails will stop like that. But the thing is,

you'll get emails with pictures of puppies that could not be older than six weeks old. I'm sorry if you're bored of it already. You're in lockdown. You're not allowed to leave the house and your dog's six weeks old. You shouldn't have it. I am having your dog.

I'll keep it. You can't be trusted with it. Where am I, doggy? Honestly. Imagine getting to the stage. Some beauts on there. Imagine getting to the stage where it iss on there. Imagine getting to the stage where it is a better arrangement

for the dog to be living with you. You haven't even got a garden. You've got your flat is small. I've got a churchyard behind me. I've got a churchyard behind me. So I have a bit of that. By the way, changing trains slightly.

Did you see, there's a good article on the BBC website about... They don't like trains sometimes. No, that's true actually. But the events that have been cancelled due to the coronavirus lockdown um and there are so many weird eccentric british events it's really it's really brought it into it's really brought it home for me um but for example um the worm charming championships which takes place

in south devon every may uh has been cancelled look if it's in devon roughly half of those events will involve blackface so just cancel them every year that's true but i don't see why you need to socially distance with worm charming. What do you mean? I was saying like... So the way it works is you get a three-foot square patch of grass and you have to try to charm as many worms out as you can. How do you charm them out? Just like water, you'd imagine, wouldn't you?

Apparently the most popular way of trying to do it is to simulate the sound of rain. Ah, okay. Bitter, better, bitter, okay. Yeah, so people do tapping on the ground, potentially like, yeah, that kind of stuff. And they just climb out? Yeah, apparently. Another one,

the shin kicking contest in the Cotswolds, that's been cancelled. Oh, that doesn't sound like much fun. I'd love to have a fucking go at you at that. What do you mean? I'll just give you a right old kick in. Yeah, but my shin pads are so tiny when I play football,

and I've probably played in the last 10 years more games of football than you, so they're quite calloused, I would say. There's a lot of weird lumps on my shins that would protect me naturally anyway. I'll still take my chances. All right, cool. I'm glad we're socially distancing. The annual shin kicking competition or whatever it's called

has been going in the same place in the Cotswolds since 1612. Next to a hospital? I'd hope so, but apparently still toe caps are banned. So what is it, just kicking each other in the shin?

Like, just, you would break, but you would still break people's shins, wouldn't you? Yeah, probably.

It's horrible. I give Jim Campbell from the Ramble, Jim Campbell from the Ramble, one really bad one which he didn't recover from for quite a while, I remember.

I remember that. That was just in a building it wasn't even on a football field i know what that was for that was because we were making a video in your office and it involves you having to slide tackle someone and we tried to simulate it and you went you got way too into it and ended up almost snapping jim in half basically well i mean well he saw me coming he could have you, jumped over and sort of, you know, made the most of the tackle. But the thing you forget about Jim is that if I was going to bet

who gets run over by a car first, it would be Jim because he's just not got any spatial awareness. He's got some kind of in-the-air thing that prevents him from dealing with life and i was life at that point and i hurt his shin yeah and and it did look very painful why you hit the deck like a ton of bricks it was hilariously funny um and let me just let me just end this little section on a more sort of somber note so you will of course be aware as as with all our listeners of about the cheese rolling race in

gloucestershire which happens every year you know that one pete yeah yeah they roll the cheese down broken legs it's like you know another story on the nhs needless broken legs because that we used to do something and it's tradition yeah we have to do it we have to get we have to keep doing it or we'll die yeah um i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna ignore the uh the politically loaded comment um there uh and so they chuck a big wheel of cheese down down cooper's hill in brockworth in gloucestershire right and they can't do it this year because people have to socially distance of course but it's happened every year for centuries so one of the organizers is just going to roll a single solitary cheese down

the hill on the morning of the 25th of may whenever it is and um that's going to be that yep divorcee brexit britain you're welcome to it yeah that is the most pathetic thing I have ever heard in my life. What would you do instead? What? Just not do it. Just not to just understand that it doesn't fucking matter and there's bigger things and it's a waste of fucking cheese.

It'll probably get a nick. You won't want to eat it after that. Fuck it. You old romantic. Pathetic. Anyway, our friend Lee sent that in. Thank you very much, Lee, for making us aware of that.

And I'm sorry Pete didn't get into the spirit of it more, but what can you do? I didn't roll with it, let's say. No, exactly. Let's have a little break, Peter. Then when we come back, we'll do some more emails. We'll clear up all this email business.

Skitchin'. Do you have a Skitchin'? No. That was quite a big deal.itching uh it was certainly a video game but it was it being a a young english boy uh i assumed all of the all of the teenagers of the us were skitching all the time now you know the bit in um you know the bit in back to the future where marty mcfly is on his skateboard and he grabs hold of the back of a car to propel himself through the town square.

That's, I believe, Skitchin'. Where does this come from? There's a video game called Skitchin' and that's what you had to do. You just grab on the back of cars and whenever I saw anybody do it in town, I would go, wow, that guy's skitching. But you obviously had to hide from the driver because the driver obviously wouldn't want you grabbing all of their spoiler on the back of the car.

Skitching! But no one talked about skitching no more. It's true. Have you ever done it? I've never done it, no. But I have been playing a lot of uh tony hawks pro skater while i've been in isolation so that's that's a british that's a british tradition you'd like to see maintained then sketching oh sketch i think we should do more sketching and it's easy to do

now that there are fewer cars on the road i might buy a skateboard uh because that's the kind of midlife crisis uh that would suit me down to the ground and do some sketching around Soho. I think listeners everywhere will be stunned to know that you don't already own a skateboard. Yeah, yeah, surprising. I own many fabulous things, but all typewriters, all reel-to-reel recorders, a few Apple iMacs from the late 90s and a button from a Jubilee Line train, but I don't own a skateboard. Loads of things that you've

taken apart and so can no longer sell on ebay yeah and peter also speaking we spoke about ebay in the first half of this podcast didn't we um uh one of the things that i was looking for i was thinking could i buy an aircraft on ebay uh i couldn't find what i could i found one sort of kit airplane that was uh it was out of license because it hadn't been mot'd or whatever the plane version of mot is but it was just blocking i think bristol who uh you know still potters around in it every now and again so you could buy a plane for about i think it was 40 grand i was like oh that's interesting um and you don't need a full pilot's license for it because it's quite a light little plane uh but you could buy a drone weighing scale a big scale that you can put a big you know killing machine drone on it that's how like and it's about like 50 grand it is huge in the list of in the interior kind of mental list i've got of the most likely ways you will die

right crashing crashing a self-built plane would probably be or a plane you bought off the internet i think would be higher on your list than anyone else's i'd say okay fair dues fair dues my dad sends me yeah that's exactly exactly right my dad's my dad sends me um ebay listings and um things he's seen in the paper photos of of planes for sale quite a lot like more than i ever expected he would you assume that you couldn't just go oh wants to buy a plane but turns out you can just buy a plane yeah it's got to be sold somewhere. I mean, how did they sell them before the internet? They probably must have had some kind of version of auto-trader, did they?

But you'd think the rules of the air, bearing in mind that if a plane goes down, you could crash into a building and kill lots of people. You'd think that there would be some universal body that would come round, inspect your plane for defects slash electrical wiring problems slash fuel line problems, and then give it the clean bill of health and allow you, give you the license to sell it on to some other unsuspecting person. Because I was talking to Chris Broad from abroad in Japan this week, or maybe last week,

this week, or maybe last week, and he was saying that to buy a car in Japan, the police, or some policemen with the most unlucky job ever, the most unlucky posting ever, has to come round your house and measure your parking space before you're allowed to buy a certain size of car. That's unreal. Isn't that amazing? I mean, in Japan, there's over-employment.

I mean, everyone's got a job. There's very little unemployment in Japan because of this kind of... What was that thing in the US? They did it in the 50s, didn't they? Where everybody had to have a job and there was over-employment and it kind of stimulated the economy

because people were buying stuff. They've got that in Japan. So some people just have these weird jobs that don't exist anywhere else. But yeah, a policeman comes around and there's not a lot of crimes you can investigate obviously um and yeah they go around and just uh measure the size of your parking space on the other side of the coin yeah have you seen that video of those mad old libertarians in the u.s and they were i think they were trying there was like some kind of conference where they're trying to vote for or choose a leader to represent libertarians at the upcoming presidential election.

Yeah. And they're on a panel and there's some candidates and one of them gets into a huge amount of controversy because he says that people should have to have driving licenses. And everyone's going, no, boo. And he's going, hang on, guys, hang on, guys. I think we can all agree that to drive a car, we should be able to display some kind of competency

so we don't get out. And everyone's going, no way, boo. It's amazing. Because if you're, exactly, if you're like, you know, if you're surely, if I'm driving a car, heaven forfend, somebody is surely going to infringe on my liberties by being a maniac, by not being able to control their vehicle. It's almost like a political philosophy that doesn't actually exist when it survives any kind of contact with the real world. Because heaven forbid that one person's idea of, in quotes, freedom would impinge on someone else's idea of freedom,

and the whole thing crumbles to dust instantly. Who would have thought it? That's why the Republicans are so fucking batshit at times. And certainly in a crisis like coronavirus, they're all like, we should be allowed to do what we want. Yeah, if you want everyone to fucking die, brilliant, yeah. Well, everyone should have the right to die. Well, no, that's not exactly fair is it but that's why that's why you get um surely if you if you were living like an entirely libertarian

society you would then be able to do something like build your own plane just fly it wherever you fucking want and yes you would almost certainly die instantly anyway rocket man died didn't he that he was a libertarian wasn't he He was a flat earther as well. Oh, yes, that's that. Sorry, yeah, he probably wasn't a libertarian, probably was a flat earther, and he crashed his rockets. He flew his own rocket to try and prove that the Earth was flat and then died. He'd done a couple of test flights, obviously.

He'd done it before. I think he broke his back on one of them. Yes, I think I'll proceed with this. I think I'll probably proceed with this situation, obviously. He'd done it before. I think he propped his back on one of them. Yes, I think I'll proceed with this. I think I'll probably proceed with this situation, yeah. Yeah. So how did it go?

It went okay. I broke my back. So all right, so that's the end of that, is it? No, no, no. I'm doing another one next week. Right.

I'll tell you what should be enclosed in my libertarianism. I'm in the middle of town and pubs, 50 million pints are apparently going to go to waste this summer. That is a scandal. If they don't close the lockdown, I should be allowed to go to any pub and just say

here's a barrel. A proper libertarian would be brewing his own beer. Yeah, so think about that. Alright, helloatlukeandpeachshow.com is the email section. A very short email section today now because of that nonsense. No, it's both of our fault.

Lewis Stone has been in touch saying, Hi, chaps. After hearing the MSN messenger talk, I thought I would share my own experience of it. After nagging my mum to finally have internet orders for our house back in the heady days of 2005. What were you doing in 2005, Peter? Probably I meant that.

Yeah, I was rather impatient and couldn't wait, said Lewis. I remember I had an AOL disc offering one month's free dial-up broadband, which had been sitting in the cupboard for around two years. Were they still dishing out those CD-ROMs in 2003, Pete? Oh, yeah, yeah, even later than that. Okay, great. Lewis says, without my parents knowledge i signed up i was 15 at the time i faked my details and with my stupidity i didn't

realize i was signing up to a two-year contract which was later cancelled due to my age fraud i guess but this only adds to the weight of how important this all was the very evening after signing up i was speaking to a friend on MSN. She was at another friend's house and they were just about to switch accounts. Add me on theirs, I asked. Little did I know how important that flippant comment would be.

From there, I speak to the newly added person on my MSN Messenger post-school evenings. We chat for a couple of months. I pluck up the courage to ask her out on a first date, and she agreed. First date, classic cinema, meet up a few times, and the rest is history. 15 years later, we are married

and living a very happy life together. Moral of the story, sometimes being impatient rewards you with a big life win. RIP MSN Messenger, Lewis Stone. I think that is the feel-good story we need in these troubled times. with a big life win. RIP MSN Messenger, Lewis Stone. I think that is the feel-good story we need in these troubled times. Fantastic. You've got mail.

It's your future wife. Love your job. This show is good at basically just telling mundane stories, but they end up being little gems in this flotsam and jetson of the life tide that comes and goes. In my head, that was a bit more sort of eloquent, but that didn't really work.

So that goes sometimes. Well, keepers of dead, they might all got shit. Let us know when you get divorced. Luke, Rhys has got in touch conspiracy is the title of his uh is the title of his email i messaged before about the official status of taiwan then also about a horse sex video anyway metaphor for us marine metaphor for us marine living in the philippines who thinks the world is flat. Bit odd. Will monitor. Cheers.

Lou Grease. Thanks, mate. Keep us posted. It's got a lot in there. Got a lot in there. Look, if you're going to just concatenate all of your emails into one big chunk, I'll read them out. All right?

It's efficiency. There was a great situation for me earlier, sort of late last week week where I got a message on Instagram someone asking why I muted them on Twitter and then I was like

I just ignored it and then this morning my friend who saw a reply to one of my tweets from the same guy that obviously I didn't see because I muted him

and it just said just told me to suck a dick so what do you want out of this mate you are you're complaining that i've muted you and even if i think about unmuting you you're telling me to go and suck a dick in quotes so is that what i want in my twitter account not really well um well as soon as we click stop on this recording i'm going to check out who this ledge is and befriend him immediately. His name was Don Peterson. Hello to Alec Lodge, which sounds like a lovely place to spend the night. If you'd like another odd story and potential topic of conversation,

here's this one. A few years ago, I went and picked up a Chinese takeaway. A couple of men's rice and crispy seaweed. Don't judge, I like it. A girl in front of me picked her order up. Just lemon chicken. Just lemon chicken. Right.

Feel free to judge your way, says Alec. When I got home, I found my crispy seaweed was missing, but I had an unwanted lemon chicken. I can only assume that poor girl had gone home with a solitary box of crispy seaweed. She must have been fuming. Keep up the great work. Loving the show.

Ike Lodge in Essex. Now, not the most interesting email. There was extra bits to it, Alex's email, but this was one I wanted to focus on. Does anyone, is it generally accepted that crispy seaweed is disgusting? My sister always, as you well know, I'm not really a huge fan of Chinese takeaway,

but whenever we have it as a family, my sister always orders seaweed. I mean, I'm not really a huge fan of Chinese takeaway, but whenever we have it as a family, my sister always orders seaweed. I'm going to show my own ignorance here. Is it actually seaweed or is it shredded cabbage? No, it's seaweed, yeah. No, it's definitely crispy seaweed, just fried, really thin. Texturally, I quite like it, yeah. Yeah, and the powder they put on top is a little bit meaty,

a little bit sweety, a little bit sweety, a little bit sweety, a little bit soury. A little bit naughty. A little bit naughty. And I like that. I just find it all delicious, like lemon chicken delicious. But the deep-fried seaweed is bloody lovely. What's wrong with a bit of deep-fried seaweed, Alec? Did you throw it in the bin?

It just reminds me of the Sopranos when they keep getting this Chinese order wrong and he keeps getting annoyed about it and he keeps getting told to check it before the guy goes, but he never remembers. Can we get to the bottom of this, Luke? Have you been watching the Sopranos again recently? Because you have mentioned the Sopranos on

seven separate podcasts I've listened to lately. Are you going through them again? I am because Mimi's not seen it so we're watching them together. We're actually almost finished. We've only got a season and a bit left. But one thing I didn't realise

about The Sopranos is that it's just so funny. It's legitimately one of the funniest shows ever made even though it doesn't set out to. I mean, obviously it does set out to be funny

because it's really well written but it's not listed as a comedy, of course. And it's really, really funny. But there's a new podcast with Michael Imperioli, who plays Christopher Moltisanti, and Stephen Schirrippa, who plays Bobby Bacalar. They've done a show together, just started,

called Talking Sopranos, where they go for every episode. And it's like that one you were recommending about the US office. Yeah, the office women, office ladies, office ladies these two are like these two are just so funny like intentionally and unintentionally because they've absolutely got no broadcasting chops whatsoever because they're actors so they just sit there just chatting shit so they'll just sometimes it's still a really compelling listen but sometimes an episode will literally just be michael imperioli listing actors like listing actors names and going great actor next name great actor next name great actor he was in that thing with me great actor writer great writer that's all it is but it's still

absolutely compelling because their voices are so fucking good and if you'd like to write that in our itunes review um you're free to do that as well yeah i'd love to do a role reversal on the on the office uh ladies on the office ladies office uh yeah it's office ladies office ladies whatever it is i'm trying to be woke again aren't you no well no i'm just i'm literally trying to remember the name of the podcast office ladies yeah uh the uh most of the emails i've probably mentioned on this before uh most emails are just people going uh was uh that bit you said uh made up on the spot was it an improv like like people in america who seem to listen to this podcast every single last one of them seem to think that

this is how a tv show is made they cast all of the parts they put them in a room, and they just go, speak, make the TV show. And they do it for two weeks, and out comes an episode instead of painstakingly rewriting and rewriting lines. They think because the actors have some improv chops that the director and the showrunner and the writers all just go, you know what, guys, you just get on with that. We'll have a tab. You just do the episode.

It is so disrespectful to the creative process of making a TV show. I cannot, I just keep on getting angry about it. But doesn't it depend, though? Because I think, I mean, you might have set yourself up for a bit of a fall here because some TV shows work in that way. So I'm pretty sure that Shane Meadows and Larry David, for example, I mean, you might have set yourself up for a bit of a fall here because some TV shows work in that way. So I'm pretty sure that Shane Meadows and Larry David, for example, they will say, this is the start of the scene.

This is where we need to get to. And here are some pointers. But they do a lot of improv stuff in the middle. Now, I know because I've heard the Sopranos guys talking about it that apart from the pilot episode, there's absolutely no um ad hoc ad-libbing stuff at all in it it's really tightly written but I don't think every show is like that particularly not comedies there are no no I would say 99% massively incorrect and especially like the Larry David thing is a very good example and that is the example people would bring up but

Larry David and his cabal of people, they do have pointers and they do have a beginning, a middle and an end to a scene. But the situation is that has already been workshopped a thousand times and worked out how it starts, where the thread's going, where's the scene going to be set, who's going to be in it, who's cast as this person, who's cast as that person. So it is already by the

time you start the cameras running whether it's whether it's completely improvised or not there is so much work that's gone into that before the any improvisation is even approached you know who your character is you know what what reasons you have to say the things that you're saying it's so well worked out even before you give any actors any scope for any for trialing anything out. And it's way more rigid than you think, especially when you've got time concerns. You're filming on location. Time is money. It just drives me wild that it disrespects the people who spend days and weeks and months and years putting a TV show together. And it also disrespects the actors as well in that they can't deliver material written by someone else.

It does my fucking nut in, Luke. I don't know why I'm so angry about it. Jeff Garlin says with Curb Your Enthusiasm, there's a paragraph about each scene and that's it. Well, fine. That will be one of... There's no writing, basically. There will be.

That is one example of... It's a bit embarrassing for you, isn't it? A bit embarrassing. Well, the one example. It's like saying, oh, Paul Kitson and, I don't know, Cristiano Ronaldo, they both scored a goal, didn't they? Where's this going?

They both scored a goal. Well, they both scored a goal. They both scored a goal. So, you know, they're very... I'm losing my thread a little bit here. Probably be best to end the podcast, but I'll work it out.

I'll come back on Monday and I will work out why Paul Kitson is like Cristiano Ronaldo. There are worldwide famines that have not got you angrier than this. All I did was list

one series that does improv. That's it. That's all I wanted to say. One, yeah, darling! Because that's the only one. That's the only one. Everything is written. Everything.

Did they wear their own? Did Jim wear his own clothes for this scene? Why? Why would he wear his own clothes? They've got a budget. They've got a person to fucking sew their clothes together. Idiot. I'm just going to fade this episode out.

So you can just stop it now, mate. Bye, everyone. We'll see you on Monday. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. This was a Stakhanov production. level, embrace it. Journey starts when you say so. If you've got five minutes or 50, Peloton Tread has workouts you can work in. Or bring your classes with you for outdoor runs, walks, and hikes, led by expert instructors on the Peloton app. Call yourself a runner. Peloton All Access Membership Separate. Learn more at onepeloton.ca slash running.