The Luke and Pete Show - Florida Man records podcast

Episode Date: February 27, 2020

We're here to gently usher in the weekend with another episode of The Luke & Pete Show. Come on in, get the kettle on and put your feet up.Today we take a whirlwind tour through the likes of Tyson Fury, new Netflix series The Stranger and the mad escapades of general Floridian men. Plus, ever wondered about the battery capacity of drones as they battle against the wind? We've got you covered.Send us your homework answers and your best 'Florida Man' headlines to: [e-mail] ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Own each step with Peloton. From their pop runs to walk and talks, you define what it means to be a runner. Whatever your level, embrace it. Journey starts when you say so. If you've got five minutes or 50, Peloton Tread has workouts you can work in. Or bring your classes with you for outdoor runs, walks, and hikes, led by expert instructors on the Peloton app. Call yourself a runner.

Peloton all-access membership separate. Learn more at onepeloton.ca slash running. We're in the attic. We're wearing promotional Tutankhamun head masks. Yeah. And we're spooking out the place. How the devil are you, Luke Murray? You all right?

Pretty good. Not too bad. Not too bad. Can't complain. Well, you could have a go. Oh, yeah. I usually do complain a lot. But I think can't complain has become more of a sort of buzzword reply rather than actually

mustn't grumble. Exactly. Did you see that two things, did you see somebody tweeted out how many calories were in a gram of uranium?

Oh, that's wicked. How many is it? 20 billion. Fucking hell. That's fucking unbelievable. Delicious. But your body wouldn't be able to break it down anyway.

I think you'd be in bigger, I think you'd have bigger troubles than, you know, your calorific intake. Agreed. Oh, by the way, speaking of,

eating raw uranium. Speaking of, eating raw uranium, there'll be another show on Monday. You've reminded me of one of the best ever, bits of trivia, I've heard about in such a long time. Right. So this is a tenuous link,

but work with me here. This is a Luke and Pete show, by the way. Happy Thursday. I should probably do a little intro for those new listeners that have come along. I hope the wind has stopped. Wherever you are. Yeah, that's been very windy.

It's been very windy. Anyway, great bit of trivia. So speaking of uranium, remember the TV show Chernobyl? Yes. That was directed by a man, I can't remember his name now, who won several awards for it.

I think he's called Johan Renck. That's his name. Well, back in 1993, the very same man wrote and performed this song. It's a classic. It's an early 90s classic. Oh, yeah. Do you remember it?

Yes, I do. Same man. Here we go. Under the name Stack-a-Bow is the same guy who went on to direct the excellent Chernobyl. Yeah. Isn't that interesting? I wonder what he's been doing in the...

Well, I know he's been clearly directing things in the convening years, but incredible. I looked into him. He looks like one of those annoying people who can just turn his hand to lots of different stuff. Rapping, singing, writing, directing, producing. Oh, what was he rapping on that one? He's performing it.

He's the rapper on that one. He's actually performing it as well. It's incredible. That song weirdly has gone down in my estimation. It shouldn't have. No, it should have gone up. It's like the band Doves. They were an outfit before Doves,

but I can't remember what song they did. It was like Doves. Do you know how that person worked out the calorie content of a gram of uranium? I don't know, but it was on the internet, so who am I to doubt that? Presumably the gram is very small as well, because it's obviously quite dense. So you could easily ingest it, but you wouldn't last very long. No, you wouldn't.

I wonder what would happen. If people could tell us what would happen if you ate a gram of uranium, that would be brilliant. Any of you? I don't know. What corner of the world, when it comes to people's jobs, would it be to figure that out? There'd be scientists listening to this we've had like proper doctors

and everything listening to this yeah but like I imagine just ask Pilot Neil he has a lot of questions he's a clever bloke yeah he's a clever bloke

sub sub those were sub sub yeah they were isn't that incredible but you know I'm fairly certain that they did that song Ain't No Love

and There Ain't No News before they became Doze but I think they became Doze because their studio burnt down is that right oh that rings a bell and they lost all their shit yeah

so they had to start again EMF threw all a load of money in it yeah no KLF who cares not you obviously

the 90s was shit 80s no it was the 90s we didn't speak much about Tyson Fury on Monday we ran out of time no we did a little

so Big Man Big Man did some big punching to another Big Man we didn't speak much about Tyson Fury on Monday we ran out of time no we did a little so big man big man did some big punching to another big man I don't know boxing no I won't even pretend one thing I find interesting

I will point out that a man who does know boxing thought that a little little lion was a thing that was very very hot instead of very cold oh yeah

I don't know you said that on the podcast the best compliment you've ever paid me is saying I know boxing because that's not true. I'm an enthusiast.

That's it. But one thing that's interesting about Tyson Fury is this way he's resurrected himself as some kind of almost national hero now. And I understand why

because he's obviously done amazing. I mean he has done amazing things in his chosen field and that can never, I mean he's arguably one of the greatest boxers ever for what he's obviously done amazing. I mean, he has done amazing things in his chosen field and that can never, I mean, he's arguably one of the greatest boxers ever for what he's done. And so that's clearly part of it,

but also because of this mental health journey he's had where he put on 10 stone, obviously then famously met that guy on LinkedIn, lost 10 stone. And then, no, but anyway, he's done what he's done. He's spoken out on mental health and I understand that can be very powerful because he's a big,

tall, strong, physical guy who says and people will look at him and say if that can happen to him it can happen to me but

and there is a big but here and the reason I'm bringing it up is because I've not seen it addressed he said some very problematic things about homosexuals not just that about all sorts of different groups of people which he has further

later apologised for which I understand but I wonder if people have genuinely given him a second chance and processed that apology and said okay look fine he was in a dark place then or have they just forgotten it i think uh they um they the things he said about homosexuality were it was terrible uh but i think he is part of a world that is regarded as being a bit scummy so nobody expects much from him and nobody expects, um,

fighters to, I mean, like look at Manny Pacquiao's thoughts on the, on the matter. Yeah. Being a politician. He loves to sing songs as well, by the way.

He loves to sing songs as well. Um, so I think people, um, you know, the guardianistas, uh, just ignore him because he's a,

because he's a boxer and therefore it's not something they kind of run into. Um, so they don't feel a need to write op-eds about it. How do you feel about this idea of this redemption in the public eye? Because if you're a true liberal, you think that people make mistakes, but I think they should be given extra chances, and they should be able to process those mistakes, apologise for them, and grow from them, presumably.

But then there doesn't seem to be an appetite to let certain people, certain types of people do that. No, because I think sometimes they, you can smell a PR'd line. Right. People are cynical about it. Yeah, well, I would be, because you're like, oh no, there's a great, who's the late night

guy who ruffled Donald Trump's hair? He's one of the late night TV guys in America. Oh, yeah. he used to be on SNL he used to Kimmel Kimmel not Kimmel

the other one but he used to corpse all the time when he used to do SNL anyway he was on with the

RuPaul the RuPaul and he went it was a beautiful moment where he was he had like

a DVD or whatever what the hell Colbert? No it wasn't Colbert no it was one of the two Jimmy's O'Brien? It was one of the two Jimmy's

okay there's two Jimmy's Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel okay one of them whichever one was on SNL he's the crappier one okay he's the one who doesn't do video games

or does video games can't remember anyway he was with RuPaul and he said, it's a beautiful moment, he went, so the last time I, kind of talks a bit like this, the last time I went out with a drag queen and RuPaul's went, drag queen! Oh, really? And his face, his face just drops.

His stomach is in his mouth his soul is through the floor it is hilarious because he thinks he's about to get fucking cancelled because he said the wrong thing and she goes I am the queen of drag

oh really so she's just subverted the word and so she was fine with it but he thought he was going to get cancelled and somebody's like isolated the shot of him going, Oh, God. Oh, God.

Like Ralph Wiggin with The Simpsons. I've said the wrong thing. Oh, dear. Oh, it was fantastic. Do you live in fear of that every day? Oh, yeah. I'm spicy, mate. I am spicy, spicy.

It's a spicy meatball. I'm a spicy meatball. Anyway, congratulations to Tyson Fury. He's done an amazing, amazing thing, and I hope he's learnt from his mistakes, shall we say, as we all should be given the room to do, in my opinion. Hey, he's justifying it with scripture. That's true, but that's also a problem.

It's what you're allowed to do, isn't it? You're mad on the big guy upstairs. Yeah. What, the Prime Minister? You're like this. The man upstairs was playing very loud music in my building yesterday

and that rarely happens. It rarely happens. You wouldn't think God would need to do that because he can hear everything. He can hear everything. He's omnipotent. He can hear anything.

He got his Pioneer 90s sound system out and blasted it out a bit and it ain't no use. Sorry God, if you're everywhere, can you go somewhere else where the music's quiet?

Just get closer to the speaker. You're God, you're omnipotent. So you know, a while back, this is a change of trains, but I think it's a fascinating one. A while back, we talked about Florida Man. And we learned about how all the funny stories coming out of the US are about Florida Man. And then we further learned the reason for that is because the state laws in Florida mean there isn't as much secrecy around felonies and crimes. And so you get a lot more information about the crimes laws in Florida mean there isn't as much secrecy around felonies and crimes. And so you get a lot more information about the crimes committed in Florida.

Hence, it's funnier. It's not that people are generally more idiotic in Florida. It's just a way the state law works. Well, my beautiful wife said to me yesterday, she doesn't listen to Luke and Pete, she said to me, have you ever done... Why do you call her beautiful then? You're not wearing any points there.

It's true. Maybe I just genuinely think it pete the the the google uh trick or little game where you type in florida man yeah and you type in literally florida man then your birthday yeah and any date you get something amazing i think i did this so i'm going to type in florida man september 20th which is my birthday first return neighbours complain about Florida Man doing yard work naked look

it's a nice climate what's yours April 4th 30th April 30th I'll do it now there we go Florida Man

kicking swans in the head to practice karate arrested for cruelty to animals. Look, if the swans can break your arm, I think you're allowed to give them a boot in. That could be you.

I'm going to do another date. I'll do August the 7th. Florida man said he smoked THC because Jesus was returning. Look returning look it's amazing it works on every day and you know jesus would love a bit so get get rid of your stash hello at luke and peter.com to florida man your birthday and send it to us and we will read the funniest headlines out on monday's show and don't forget to stick around for later on's homework as well. I'm going to do my dad's birthday. Go on, what is it? Nearly nude

Florida man rides a bike backwards on Miami Interstate. Cool. They're always doing it. Cycling, wow. Cool. Pete, I've started watching, since I last saw you,

I started watching and finished a Netflix TV series called The Stranger. Which one's that one then? Which one's that one then? Which one's that one then? It's got Thorin Oakenshield from The Hobbit in it. And it's got Dervla Curran in it.

Right. It's got the excellent, and I do mean excellent, Paul Kay in it. Yes, okay. A.K.A. Dennis Pennis, A.K.A. Thoros of Myr from Game of Thrones. It is about a woman who turns up in a lovely town and starts causing havoc by telling everyone secrets. Oh, she's got beautiful eyes. Who is it?

I don't know who the actor is. He plays a stranger. I'm not sure. I've not seen her in anything else. And things go awry, shall we say. But it's very interesting. It's got a lot of different storylines which weave around and actually come together at some point.

It sounds a bit like Postman Pat. It's very much like's got a lot of different storylines which weave around and actually come together at some point sounds a bit like Postman Pat it's very much like Postman Pat actually but imagine if Postman Pat had secretly been doing lots of stuff he

shouldn't have been doing then someone disappeared dead bodies turned up uh oh and it's a bit like Postman Pat's windy day but with more

dead bodies I remember that yeah I used to watch that all the time on VHS apparently I would recommend it it's a great site I think it that. Yeah I used to watch that all the time on VHS apparently. I would recommend it. It's a great show.

I think it's eight episodes. Very easy to watch. Very beautifully shot as all these shows are now aren't they? Presumably because

it's so easy to make beautiful looking shows. Get a bit of grading on there. Yeah and also to do with drones. To me in my mind

it's to do with drones. Is it to do with drones? A lot of drone action. Yeah. Yeah I flew a drone on a very windy day in Japan a few weeks ago it's to do with drones is it to do with drones? a lot of drone a lot of drone action yeah yeah

I went I flew a drone on a very windy day in Japan a few weeks ago and it was very different the drone technology now

could deal with such strong winds it's incredible go on tell us more because the last scale force winds right

and this drone is just you know smooth as you like the gyroscopes are mwah is it expensive? 500 quid this drone

it wasn't my drone but I know it was 500 quid this drone it wasn't my drone but I know it was 500 quid it was good you put your dad one and it broke didn't it no I borrowed

Danny Wallace's and he broke it but we fixed it but we fixed it it's fine my only experience of using a drone is my friend

Ian Ramsdale if you're listening Ian hello to you bloody lovely chap he bought took a drone with us to a weekend away had two batteries for it by the time he got one off the ground Hello to you. Bloody lovely chap. He bought, took a drone with us to a weekend away,

had two batteries for it. By the time he got one off the ground, the first battery ran out, and the second battery, he flew it into a hedge, and that was really that. Not ideal, but it does look rather spectacular. Yeah. I mean, presumably you like to look back at the footage afterwards and everything,

and it looks amazing. Anyway. Smooth. That's our review of The Stranger on Netflix. And also drone technology. Watch it. It's very, very good. I enjoyed it a great deal and I imagine you will too. Alright Pete, let's have a quick break and when we come back we'll do

some more emails and you're going to bloody well pull your weight this time. A classic. You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar Working in a cocktail bar A classic. A classic. Got an email from Peyton Berry. Yo, PB. If you want to get in touch with the show, by the way, it's hello at lukenpeatshow.com

and I will log into it on my phone because there's going to be some problems there. Howdy, chaps. I've recently caught up to the pod following a holidays-induced clog of Luke and Peteete ramblings i've phased through six weeks of episodes in the previous three weeks i was excited to finally have an anecdote to share regarding luke's comment that the light is more distracting than the sound regarding cell phones in movie theaters oh yeah it's true it is uh you should now see the advert before the movie starts or

the film starts that word it sort of says, listen, you, don't do that. Yeah. In early 2018, some friends and I went to see Black Panther in a packed cinema, a group of maybe five teenagers entered and sat in the seats next to us as the trailers began and seemed more interested in sending text messages throughout. Bad behaviour.

This would have been a problem enough, were it not for the fact that a particular youth had created a custom message notification that consisted of the camera's flash going off roughly three times

that's mental in a cinema that is mental I think that's mental anyway just every time you get a new message it's almost like

it's been specifically designed to annoy people in a cinema yeah very weird being painfully averse to conflict we waited for an

attendant to handle a matter which didn't come until roughly 45 minutes into the film when the offender finally failed to stuff his phone

under his leg in time to cover the flash he sometimes felt he had room to argue that he didn't deserve to be removed from

the theatre but received his marching orders only a few minutes later I frankly remember much less about the actual film

than I do about this incident Peyton from Tennessee I always think with people who work in cinemas that I bet they've seen some

horrible stuff. Do you reckon they got the old night vision out? Well they do that to protect IP don't they? Yeah.

If you're in a cinema if it's like the first week of release they have little weird binoculars and they look at people's. They start off

looking for people filming they end up looking at people giving out handjobs. Rude. Presumably. Presumably. binoculars and they look at people's uh they start off looking for people filming they end up looking at people giving out hand jobs in it rude that's why well presumably presumably yeah i've seen videos yeah unbelievable but um i think that is some of the worst behavior in a cinema i 've ever seen just a weird message to be honest i'd quite i frankly rather you would get given a hand job next to me than that happening because i could probably just block it out and watch a movie through the popcorn doing the popcorn trick

doing it to myself to myself oh Peter stop that is absolutely outrageous I think I've paid a lot of money for this it's hot I'm going to burn it

you know the Kermode and Mayo podcast about movies they are our friend Ben oh they're still doing that are they our friend Ben

sometimes does it yeah they have a code don't they the things that you should and shouldn't do in a cinema right okay

it's like a dictionary it's like a proper coded out thing yeah okay where you have to they make out that you have to subscribe to this code of

cinema behaviour to be a proper cinephile I guess so I doze off constantly in cinema and my good lady gets very annoyed about it

I first sleep in a Star Wars movie and Mimi got upset. It's just nice and warm and quiet. It's nice and warm and dark. Yeah.

Comfortable seat. I'm out. Light is lovely. I love it. Mimi's always like, let's go for a walk and then we'll go to the cinema. All right, fine.

So we'll go for a walk for about two hours and then we'll get into the cinema. I'll be pooped. I'll probably got a hangover. I'm tired yeah that's just how it goes i'll have a little snooze but it's got to the point now that i know i'm

being watched constantly yeah i'm not gonna doze off at any moment what you mean but i think i and one thing i would say about the star wars movies which is the last one i fell asleep in is that i do like them and i enjoy watching them and I quite I find the stories quite like engaging presumably because it just reminds me of being a kid subconsciously somewhere and I like the characters

and everything and the universe they've built but effectively they're all the same the movie's all the plots are so lazy

they're like you don't really need to follow the plot there was a performance that Paramore did in the Camden venue the roundhouse uh in 2013 that for

some fucking youtube whole reason i was watching um and she was dressed in a kind of like storm trooper kind of half stormtrooper uniform cool and i thought this is about as star wars as i can be arsed with these days really a young girl singing songs emo songs dressed as a stormtrooper can't be arsed with it was this like your Saturday night at one point was it

I don't know I don't know why I quite like Paramore quite good yeah he's got a good voice good band just great times

I don't mind that's their nickname isn't it great times it's just a band the new album from Paramore good band great times yeah I don't mind him I don't mind him what about this email from Just a band. The new album from Paramore. Good band, great times.

Yeah, I don't mind them. I don't mind them. What about this email from Joe? Okay, Joe. I've titled this email. Hey, Joe. I've titled this email, What's Dad Been Up To For The Millennium? Oh, wow.

You'll go like this. Hello. He says, hello, Luke and Pete. I thought you guys were well. I thought I'd chip in for the most dad thing. I've got the millennium bug, son. That's syphilis, dad, and you know it. What have you been up to?

The opening to this email is just a perfect sentence for this show. Ready? In the mid-2000s, my dad was passionate to ensure our house was as modern as it could be for the day. Oh, nice. So his dad- He's updated it all for the millennium. He's just decided that we're in the 2000s now. We're updating the house.

Cool. What does that mean, Dad? Don't know. This sometimes included redecorating rooms to include accent walls and rescuing widescreen TVs from work instead of taking them to the skip. But mostly, it was buying useless gadgets.

Nice. This guy is in. I'm in on this guy. At a summer barbecue, my Uncle John was showing off his new cat flap. Is that technology or just a hole in your fucking door? It used a magnet attached to the collar to partially open the flap

and it would otherwise stay locked. Cool. I bet I'm going to figure that one out. I've got a Wi-Fi cat flap, as I told you before. What, it's on your... You have to sync the cats up to it. It syncs the microchip in their neck. Hang on.

Why would you have access to the microchip in their neck? I mean, would it be RFID rather than Wi-Fi? Don't know. Because it's got a power source. I don't know what you're talking about. More like a chip in your cat's neck.

How are the devices talking to each other? Shall I just tell you how it works? I have no idea. So basically, you put the batteries in the cat's neck. How are the devices talking to each other? Shall I just tell you how it works? I have no idea. So basically, you put the batteries in the cat flap. You carry the cat, normally in a towel

because otherwise it'll scratch the shit out of you. And you hold them under the cat flap. Why do cat people bother? You push a button, it syncs up to the cat

and then it only lets that cat in. And you can sync up to 32 cats. 32 cats! That's one of the cat. To the cat. And then it only lets that cat in. Right. And you can sync up to 32 cats. 32 cats? Yeah. That's one of the selling points of the cat block. That is future-proofing, isn't it?

Why 33? 33, too many. Imagine a product design meeting. Right. How many do you think people would feasibly have? Eight? That's not enough. 50?

Too many. 32? So I reckon 32. I mean, it's a nice... I mean, that's clearly... That is clearly one byte per, or, you know, one set of bytes per, one kilobyte per cat. They do bite you, that's why you have to wrap them in a towel.

See, so 32 is a very, a digital number, like 32, because it always comes like, you know, eight and four. Do you reckon King Tutankhamen's tomb had a cat, Wi-Fi cat, to let the mummified cats out? Fascinating. Yeah. I mean, I have told you this before. I don't think you have. I would have demanded to know

what about the 32 kilobytes of cat RAM. So yeah, it's basically, I've got two cats synced up to it. So the great thing is, sometimes,

and this is joyous because a lot of cats in our neighbourhood, you'll be in the kitchen doing something and you'll hear a... Yeah. You think,

oh, what's that? Go down. It's a neighbour's cat trying to get in he can't can he no he can't no

because he's not synced he's not synced and I'm not syncing him either you think I'm coming down there and syncing you with that button you're wrong what if he's holding like a

like a portfolio of reasons why he should be synced to your system I'll hear him out could you add more memory to it do you reckon do you want to have more cats

yeah you probably could if someone came around... One of your YouTube channels has probably hacked it. I want to see how much... Yeah, presumably probably has. I'm going to find out. I'd like to have a conversation with my neighbour. I've thought about this before,

where they come round and say, by the way, I'm going away for a few days. Do you mind just syncing your cat up to the cat flap so we can come and get fed at your place? I'd say, yeah. I love it. Anyway, Joe's Uncle John is showing off his new cat flap. Is it RFI?

We're going back to the barbecue in the mid-2000s. It used a magnet attached to the collar to partially open the flap and would otherwise stay locked. See, I don't like that. The reason I don't like that is because one of my cats pulls his collar off all the time. You're losing the magnet there. It can also be hacked easily, as you've alluded to, Pete,

by a burglar. This was great for John, though, says Joe, because he actually had a burglar. This was great for John though says Joe because he actually had a fat dog. As we had a cat my dad decided to one up John that's his own brother

presumably by installing a cat flap with infrared technology Pete. Nice. I feel like I'm opening your eyes to the world of cat flaps here. It had a mechanical lock

which only opened when our cat was close thanks to a dongle on the collar. The dongle is constantly firing out an infrared beam. You're going to have to charge it every couple of days, aren't you? The cat got head cancer and died.

He did not. It's basically the same as John's, but much more expensive and required special batteries. It is... Yeah, go on, sorry. The other setback was it made a loud clicking noise every time it locked or unlocked.

Our cat would just sit in front of the flap making it lock and unlock itself on repeat. It's like standing outside the doors in Iceland, isn't it?

Just opening and closing, opening and closing. The offbeat metronome would eventually annoy someone enough to go up and let her out. I love that cat. That's a cat hack.

I'm not going to come through but I know if I sit here long enough you're going to come and let me in. Needless to say it was a colossal waste of money. I think my cat. That's a cat hack. I'm not going to come through, but I know if I sit here long enough, you're going to come and let me in. Needless to say, it was a colossal waste of money. I think my mum must have had a word because that was the last useless gadget he bought for a long time. It is an RFID tag. Oh, great. The old cat.

You've not been listening. You've just been looking at that, haven't you? No, I've just been looking at that. It's just like, yeah, very interesting. So sometimes when the batteries run out, I have to go and re-sync them. Used a lot in retail. Oh, that batteries in the thing. Why aren't they using RAM for that? Don't know.

Because I think if it's the same cat flap that I was just looking at there, you have to run it through an app. There is an app. I have a problem. There's no point. By the way, I mean the cat flap batteries, not the cat.

The cat isn't running batteries. They run on food, which they convert into fuel. Should we do some telemarketing stuff? Because that was your homework, Pete. Are you looking for a jingle for that, are you? Is there a homework jingle? No, I've got this. The moment you bite into a

topic. It's a topic, isn't it? Oh, nice. I like that, yeah. Do you want me to do one? Well, you starred it, so you've collected it, so you reap it. I copy and paste, baby. Oh, okay. The guy who invented copy and paste died last week, didn't he?

The guy who invented copy and paste died last week. Everyone did that joke. That's good. Which I thought was fucking disrespectful. They did it on the BBC News and I thought

get rid of the BBC. Disrespectful. That's not the only reason to get rid of the BBC. I'm pleased you brought it up. I've got a few thoughts. I actually invented a better version of copy and paste, but I haven't found anyone to implement it yet.

So, you know you do control and C, and then control and V to paste? Yeah. Now, that's good. No one's questioning that. It's good. But, why don't you do control C1, control C2,

control C3, have three copies on the copy board, and then do control c1 control c2 control c3 have three copies on the copy board and then do control v1 to paste control v2 to paste two to so you can you can collect more than one thing oh so like have like databanks for this yeah well you can have a an image and text i think you can do that you've tried it on all keyboards doesn't work because you've just thought up the system i mean just yeah just sort of fantasising about what is possible by thinking up combinations. It's not an escape room. I mean, there'll be a thing that does macros like that.

So yeah, there will be a system that you'll be able to add into your system if you want to, I reckon. Like on Excel or something? Just in general. The beauty of copy and paste is that it's not app specific. It's in the operating system. What are you more passionate about, tech, or how little I know about tech?

I think we fit together quite well. Yeah. Because I get really excited about it. I learn from you a lot. Would it chill you to your very core to know that in my family, I'm the tech guy? Yeah, it would do, actually. People will call me and say look i can't sort this ipad out can you sort it out and i'm the best person they think jesus christ yes but jesus

telemarketing and pete asked you to do some homework last week which was to let us know by emailing hello at luke and pete show.com about experiences you've had with telemarketers. Gareth got in touch and said, early on in my first job, I got called by a New Yorker asking about my investment portfolio. I had no idea what he was talking about

and genuinely thought it might be something to do with my job. So I blagged it. I love that. He's new to the job. They've not explained it. He thinks it's probably some kind of internal call.

So for context, I was sitting in a porter cabin at a Welsh chipboard factory. I was noncommittal about my stocks and shares. Said I had to go, but he was welcome to call back. And he did. He called back weekly. He'd talk about the Manhattan weather. As I'd look out of the porter cabin window and see little Terry scratching his bum. He'd talk about the stocks and shares I could buy.

I'd hum and whore and say things like, sounds good, but I'm not sure now is the right time. He gave up after a month. In my head, he looked like Gordon Gekko. I realise now he must have been exactly as shit as his job, as I was, to keep calling me. That was 2003, and I still don't own any stocks or shares. Isn't that kind of like the plot of Wolf of Wall Street?

He starts off doing penny stocks and stuff like that. I haven't seen the Wolf of Wall Street I imagine that's right though yeah he starts off doing really small fry kind of telemarketing calls about penny stocks

which I find a little fascinating Mark Pattinson Mark Pattinson rather gents can I thank you immensely for the moment in the attached image

and he's attached to image and I've just heard Luke and Pete Shaw a friend says which luke and pete shaw a friend says which one you and your effing eggs lol which episode i've got two to catch up on 199.97 so the next one pete's back on it finally yeah rude that is rude that is rude to jack who is a far more successful broadcaster than either of us i don't know what the um did you give it a number last time we've kind of retired the numbers you've made it impossible for me to do numbers, so I've stopped.

I just didn't... Lazy. Fucking fuck off. Lazy. Absolutely lazy. I try and put any kind of semblance of admin into this show and you undermine me every time. We could have had a big 200 show and you've killed it.

Gents. Regarding telemarketing, in my late teens, looking to earn a few quid, I got a job for a high street bank calling customers offering credit cards, loans, and premium current accounts. The job was shite,

but it was a four-day week and the pay was okay. Needless to say, I'm not a salesman, but I really didn't like pushing the products. Unfortunately, I sat next to the boss's desk, so I used to hit the mute button on my headset and made out that the customer couldn't hear me on the other end,

and so I terminated the call and went to both IT for a non-existent problem. Nice, I like it. Nice, that's good, yeah. Just kept turning over. My dad also liked to play your games of stringing along cold callers. And one time got the common recent accident call. He hadn't been in an accident, but played along saying it was a bad one.

Oh, it's a bad one. And that he's only just back on his foot. You could tell the caller was a bit confused and questioned further because my dad said, well, I thought it was just a little bump and a bit much to have it amputate my leg but they're the experts I had to leave the room because I was laughing so much but I could only imagine

the pound signs rolling in the poor caller's head I love it like giving them a little taste of like a big a big payout a big

I thought you were a friend of the common man why are you letting people piss out of people just doing an honest day's labour what do you mean calling people up

an honest day's labour I used to work at a call centre that Labour. What do you mean? Calling people up. Think of Solidarity. An Honest Day's Labour. I used to work at a call centre. And that's not an Honest Day's Labour. Ringing people up about accidents. Nick Halbert's been in touch. Hope you're both well, he says. Just moved to Vienna and the show is really helping

with the homesickness. Lovely. That's a humble brag. I'd love to go to Vienna. It's not that far away, though, is it? You could be home in an hour. As far as telemarketing goes, when me and my ex-girlfriend

were at uni in my hometown, Newcastle, we decided to both take a year out. We were planning on getting a pretty easy-going job, making money to have a bit of a holiday. She managed to find a job before me in a call centre selling phone and internet services. She asked the manager if they needed more staff

as they fired roughly four people a week. Turns out they did. I had my interview with him. He was the most slimy cunt you'd ever imagine. Shitsuit, long, pointy, Alan Pardew-esque shoes. You know the bloke. Arrogant. Needless to say, I got the job

and was asked to start the next day for training. Needless to say, I got the job. You're calling other people arrogant, Nick. I came in and was given two hours of advice and patted on the arse and handed the phone with a list of numbers to call. After three hours of being told to fuck off by people who obviously didn't want to change providers,

I felt a bit of a tit. To avoid awkward patter with unwilling members of the public and to make sure I wasn't seen to be slacking off, I would call my mum, dad and brother and go through the sales pitch I'd been handed on a sheet. Never breaking the fourth wall, I stuck to it as they all played along in case I was being monitored. I can

honestly say this is the worst job I've ever had. Needless to say, after three days misery and zero sales, I was being monitored. I can honestly say this is the worst job I've ever had. Needless to say, after three days misery and zero sales, I was let go. Bless them, man. Bless the mam and the family for playing along.

Bringing them into it. I still get anxiety, says Nick, thinking about those few days of my life I'll never get back. Keep up the good work. Keep up the good work. Luke, unblock me on Instagram, please.

It was a compliment, not a diss. I'm probably not going to do that. Little blocker. Yeah. You can't mute on Instagram. It's annoying was a compliment, not a diss. I'm probably not going to do that. Little blocker. Yeah. You can't mute on Instagram. It's annoying. I mute on Twitter all the time.

No, you can mute on Instagram. Can you? Yeah, I've done loads. After we finish this show, you're going to show me your ways. Ooh. Yeah. Set some more homework, Pete,

for next time, because we're running out of time. Oh, crumbs. I forgot to do a new stuff. We've got so much to pile through, that's why I worry. I've got one. I've got one here.

The homework for this weekend and to email in for next week's shows. I'm going to start a sentence. You guys are going to finish it with a story as to how it happened to you. And the sentence is this. I thought I was going to die

when. Ah. I thought I was going to die when. That's the homework. I can tell you when I thought I was going to die. When did you say

you were going to die? I'll just write this down. I was walking back from a pub quite late and I was obviously walking on the pavement and about, I walked around the corner,

about 10, 15 metres in front of me, a car ploughed through the into the pavement through a fence exciting and came to a

ground halt drunk driver if I had been 10 seconds earlier maybe 5 seconds earlier I'd have been dead was the drunk driver um

okay don't know can't remember can't remember I was drunk walked off I was pissed and crucially

not driving because that's irresponsible that is irresponsible so there's a little flavour for you to get you going get the juices flowing for the grace of God go us

exactly don't drink and drive kids bad especially you Americans I know what you're like they do it all the time I know alright then

we'll be back next time if you want to get into the show as always it's hello at lukeandpeachshow.com leave us a nice review tell all your mates all the good stuff yeah

it'll be very much appreciated we'll see you we've been doing this show for a while now I know we need some props feels like longer for mainly listeners

bye this was a Stakhanov production