The Luke and Pete Show - Got Any Old Beef?

Episode Date: December 29, 2025

Pete's beef wellington didn't quite go to plan on Christmas Day, due to some promises made by a butcher that simply weren't kept. But did he let that setback deter him? Tune in to find out. Elsewhere, there's some sizable kebab shop chat, Pete has been wrestling with His Majesty's Revenue and Customs again, and the boys hear from a listener who developed food poisoning in one of the most impressive locations on Earth. Oh, and Luke's put his house on the market - first port of call? Bothering the property photographer with annoying questions about photoshop and shutter speeds...Christmas-related comments or queries? Only one place to out them: [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's Christmas Welcome to the LucaPit show It is Monday the 29th of December My name is Pete Donaldson I'm joined by Mr. Lukimo Lookymo, how the devil are you doing? Are you enjoying the feast of sports, the feast of food,

the feast of everything that's good about the Christmas sort of period? Yeah, pretty good. I mean, at this point, I'm pretty tired because my son might sleep. family probably bit tedious not the immediate family

but you know it's you know what you know what I mean I'm sure lots of people will resonate with that but I'm over all okay thank you very much indeed how are you how was your Christmas

it was good what did we do any more prawns any no there's many prawns there's lots of prawns up for grabs I made a steak the chicken of the sea the chicken of the sea

I made a beef Wellington that was that was quite good did I tell you about Did I tell you about the old beef I bought? I bought old beef from... I never want to hear that question. I went to, up to...

No one else in my life would ever ask me that question. I was going to Aldi for some odds and sod, some bits and bobs. And obviously, producing the Middle Isle is why I live. But there was a butcher's over the road from there. There's a butcher's bin. I'll pop over there and I'll go... Did I tell you about the rotten beef I bought? I bought some rotten beef?

No? No. Okay. I bought some rotten beef. This shouldn't be happening. I bought 40 quid's worth of rotten beef, Luke. Not ideal. What for?

For me, for me, Beef Wellington. Did you know it was rotten? It didn't look great, but I was like... Is it grey? The man was dressed like a butcher, Luke. He was a man of older... Hithery Briss from League of Gentlemen. He was like that.

He was an older man with a nice white beard, and he had a hairnet and a hat. Well, he had like a proper butcher's hat and a proper butcher's clothes. And I mean None of the meat look good I don't know who's buying it But you're buying it Well yeah I'm buying it

I'm buying it I fucking bought it I said have you got anything for a big well in you yet What joint of beef was it? What cut was it? It was It was a fillet aren't you For a fillet Yeah yeah yeah

He said this one And he said 40 quaint I was like fine Put it in there And I was got at home And I was like you know what That place didn't look great And it didn't stink

But it's just like You know when like stick When thick steak the air's got to it a bit and it goes a bit it goes a bit cooked it goes a bit grey yeah and so I'm like

and so get it home and I'm looking at and I'm like that's not beef willing quality that's Sammy's birthday Christmas Eve kind of quality in it Sammy's getting

could he eat rotten beef the dog would he be okay with that it's not rotten it wasn't rotten but it wasn't in tip top shape and I was like Jesse go back to waitrose or something well I went to I went to old

the Google and went Is he on the level of this guy? And, like, there was too many one-star reviews saying I can see fly eggs. Like, when you're seeing reviews that involve the word fly eggs, you don't need to, yeah, yeah, yeah. Unless it's like an Alice in Chains album or something, then you'd be fine with that. It's one of those, it's one of those ones where it's half butchers, half greengrocers. And you're like, mate. It's on the high street?

Yeah, it's on the high street. And that's why it's dying, because people like, because men who cosplayers are, giving you shitty meat. Yeah, they don't have to try. I bought the smock. I bought the tabards and I bought the hat. That's all you should need from me. I don't trust takeaways

that try and do too many different things. I'm not buying a fish and chips from a cabb shop. Okay, well, cabs are slightly different, but I'd say... I'll buy a cab from a cabb shop and I'll let them do a burger. A Chinese restaurant has 99 different, you know. That's a cuisine. They should stick to... one type of cuisine, people are what I'm saying.

But what I'm saying is, if I'm trusting a Chinese, you know, Sashuan chef to do 99 different variations of a bit of chicken and beef, I'm going to trust them to fry a fucking omelet. I'm going to trust them to fry some chips. I'm going to trust them to do some 50 things. Yeah, but omelet and chips is part of some, no one knows why, but omelette and chips is part of the UK Chinese takeaway Uvra. Yeah, I know, but that's, yeah, but that shouldn't be there, should.

I mean, omelets, maybe. Let me give you an example to make it easy for it. I'll make it easy for you, right? Pete, we're going to go get a Chinese, and the only takeaway in town is that Chinese restaurant, right? Yeah. They also sell donna cabs, which is like a donna cab from that Chinese restaurant.

No, no, no. You've instantly made your Chinese look worse. I'm not besmirching the great tradition of the Chinese takeaway, which I like. And it's the same way, the lovely Turkish fella down at Woody Grill near where I live. He does sell fish and chips, and God bless him for doing that.

I'm going to the fish and chip shop for my fish and chips. If I want a kebab, I'll come and see you, pal. But he could probably have, with the big elephant's leg, he's got lamb dripping. He could cook it in lamb dripping, couldn't he? He could start lamb dripping chips. That'd be nice, wouldn't it? That would be good. He also deserves special credit because he also, inexplicably, and again, God bless him for doing it,

he sells as part of his drinks offering about 15 different flavors of Capri, son. He's a cash and carry hero. he's the catching carry king yeah lovely do I drink boss well obviously I want a capri son now have you got like weird have you got like weird exotic forms of capris

would you like would you like a mega capri son and you go out in the back with him they are quite big and it's as big as a fiat as a big as a car well once I told you in the Ocean Breeze in Gospel which isn't there anymore it's called Ocean Breeze sounds like a Capri Sun

yeah it does isn't it flavor of Capri Sun Ocean Breeze was the Cabab Shop and Goswitt High Street near the harbour, so down the end. Right. And it's a very apt name for it because the Ocean Breeze did whip down there. Well, yeah, and I imagine, like, I imagine the lambs, you know, ocean breeze, I wouldn't give them authority on lamb or chicken. You need to be calling it the Turkish grill.

Oh, not you mean. Well, anyway, Istanbul. Everyone used to go there. Right. Everyone used to go there, right? And I've told you about this. Once the guy in front of everyone called me, he was calling everyone big man. And he was, then he called me the big boss.

right yeah which is brilliant and then I told you about belly busters up in um farm where the guy was obsessed with only falls and horses yeah nice and he used to say yeah he used to every he used to um if he did anything or he didn't have the right change or whatever he go you plonker Rodney plonker Rodney like he thought the guy's name of the show was plonker Rodney plunker Rodney yeah anyway the the Woody Grill in in South London where I live my next-door neighbor who's a bit of a dark horse we occasionally go for beers in the local.

And on one occasion on the way back from the pub, he was like, I'm going to get a kebab, do you want to get one? And I was like, oh, yeah, I don't have one for ages. I'll go and get one. And I went in there with him and he was like a fucking celebrity. Oh, what? He's like a regular. Yeah, they were like, let's call him Tom, because that's his name.

He was like, Tom, hey, could see her. And he was like, usual please, we'd get, Boston, this kind of stuff. And it was, I felt really jealous, because obviously I like being the center of attention. and everyone I never been there before I was like a plus one yeah but he was a bit of a face in there

and he was like and he was the one who introduced me to the fact they sell Capri Sons in there I mean they do other cocacococo products as well but some reason the Capri Sons maybe other cabab shops are missing their trick there

if you're pissed and you're eating a kebab like a Capri Sun is the most difficult one you gotta stab the thing through the hall and now it's a paper straw as well which is even fucking what it's like absolutely nightmare These ones aren't paper straws I don't think I think you know they're a game And they're getting the proper import job.

They get the proper stuff. Yeah. I went into my fission ship place of choice, pun intended, fischolicious. And they said... That's a poor name. Fishalicious? That's all right. I mean, I've seen better.

I've seen worse. It should be deficious, shouldn't it? Deficious. Like what? Like what? Deficient. So you probably can't do that. Fishelicious.

It's just fucking weird to say it. Fish delicious. Darling. It sounds pervy. It does sound pervy. Ooh, baby. Your fishelish, baby. Yeah.

I went in and she went, Pete, isn't it? I was like, oh, become a local. Pleasing. Because every Friday, I get me, I don't know, I have a fish, but I have a battered sausage and a gherkin. And she knows me. She knows my order. It's quite a upsetting room. There's a, so there's a really good fish and ship shop near where we live.

And I know everyone says their local is the best, but it's, good but there's another one that um it's big usp is that it still um fries the fish in beef tallow yes yeah no i just just the the high watermark of everything it makes it taste really really really like um yeah really kind of unhealthy but delicious but he but what he's not and i really want to tell him this but i don't think it's my place the reason i hardly ever go in there is because there's two reason really one the beef tallow fat gives me pumps right right does it really yeah but the main reason is he's got this usp where he does the beef tallow which no one does anymore and that's a good

usp and he and he should advertise it more but he also refuses to take card payments yes okay that's that's a bit of a classic isn't it and and the nearest and the nearest cash point to his place is about a 10 minute walk away yeah so my feeling is just that if you're going to do that that, at least put a cash point in the chop, right? Because you can do that, but he won't do it? No, maybe. No, they're more often probably. Maybe he wants a cash-only business that...

But one can only expect why he might want a cash-only business, Peter, not for us to say, but... Cash-only business, but also he doesn't want that many people available to cash. Yeah, maybe. Maybe. Maybe. I don't know. Complicating things, isn't it? You've got a, as sad as it is, I lament this as much as the next man,

you do have to move with the times to an extent. You simply have to. You don't want to be the only living samurai in Fish and Ship Shop Man in outside Japan. Well, especially in London as well. Out in the sticks, you know, the amount of times my neighbour will give me a £50 note for, you know, whatever.

Oh, come on. What do you mean? 50 pound notes these days. Honestly, Essex men, they just always have a roar in their pockets. I don't know, I think there's just a lot of like, you know, just a lot of, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know. He must be going into branches of banks, which you can hardly ever find any more,

and ask in specifically for 50-pound notes. What's 50 in my mind? Is a monkey 50? Yeah, monkeys 500. 500. The only people in my mind who I think of when I think of 50-pound notes are people like Tom Skinner. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. When I do Frank Champion, when I do Frank Champion,

when I get Frank Champion something from Amazon, he always pays me in cash as well. so that just goes into the babysitting fund. Yeah. It goes to your fucking tax bill. It goes in a little tin. Yeah. You go for your annual, your annual Magna Carta drives

to the Inland Revenue Officer. I'll have you know I got a letter last week. I'll have you know. I'll have you know I got it. Screaming down the phone to the inland revenue, the Exchequer. Magna Carta. You've got no right to take this.

The, I got a letter last week saying that my, I'd finished my direct debit for the last payment on to the next one in January. Oh dear. So what is your current tax situation? Just precarious, what might suggest? You're wrestling with the exchequer again? It's not wrestling.

They asked me for some money. I'd say, well, I don't have that. So some sort of direct debit agreement. I went in and cancelled. If you ever want like a lot of emails, going to your HSBC internet banking and just cancel all the direct debit

people will ring you almost immediately going hi this is pets at home do you still need the sets off an alarm in the office probably say again probably sets off an alarm in the office I didn't think it was term's water

like I thought to myself that you know like a lot of these kind of companies utility companies basically they got this fucking I think it's probably a scam

where they estimate your shit and then they just keep all your money on their fucking account and they're probably putting that on that balance sheet, right? So with my energy company at one point I had like 400 quids worth of credit with them, right?

No. Because I've estimated your bill but don't worry, you're in credit and I'm pretty sure that's grey area stuff. I think it should be my money actually and if you're doing that once you figure out what we are

you're making a lot of interest off that. Once you figure out what I are, I'll pay you it. Well, let's not, I'm not just giving you fucking rats. Exactly, exactly. And the Thames Water, I started to think to myself,

if they fucking go bus, which they could do at any minute, if the reports are to be believed. I don't really want 300 quid of my money going down the pan. It's good point. Because, yeah, so I cancelled the direct debit.

And given that they are the most hapless company in the country, for sure, everyone listening to this knows about my opinions on Tam's Water. And you cannot get through to them for love nor money, right, you need to, how long do you reckon it took them to call me when I cancelled the direct debit? Oh, within a day, I'd say, yeah.

Oh, it's the same day. Same day, yeah. Did they have my account number to hand? Oh, apparently, yes, they did. Did they know all about me? Yes, they did. Was it Mr. Moore, this, Mr. Moore, this, Mr. Moore, please, we implore you to connect, well, if you'd connect more pipes together, I would connect the direct debit

pipe to your bank account. And you also, yeah, unfortunately, money is spraying out of the floor. yeah should we take a short break I didn't say yeah I didn't say Magna Carta I didn't say Magna Carta

Good on you I didn't say the weird She's turned the wienes against us Very reserved Very reserved of you Right should we take a short break When we come back When we come back

When we come back I've got some quite big news Oh We're back with the Luke And Pete Shaw Luke Moe's got some very big news New Flavour of Capri site The Local Cabat I'm only gone

And I've only gone And I've only gone and bloody Put the house on the market haven't I? Whoa, hang on. You were going to be doing a little architectural improvement on the house

you've got. I offered to do some, do up your home with some bricks, mortar, uh, uh,

wool. Carry on. Yeah. Did improve it for you? Yeah, the contractor got wind of it and they thought there might be a dancing element

and they just cancelled my order. Didn't give you the raw materials. We changed my mind. We decided to go on the market. So it's all very exciting. Oh, my God. Is it exciting? It's bloody exciting.

Is it? Yeah. Right. It's a bit of both, really. I like the project of it. I like the kind of, I'm obviously at the start of the process, right? So I'm not completely stressed out about it.

But at the moment, I quite like the kind of back and forth. Right. Or what are you going to do with this? Or put an offer in there. Or that guy might offer. He might not. It's like a game show. It's like, yeah, it's like your sort of bidding and training.

I suppose, but you're kind of trying to find the house that works for you. What do you, what are you looking for in a house? Do you need like a little, do you want a little cabin down the end of the garden like me? Do you need four toilets like me? Well, I live in London, so I'll basically take what I can get. I won't choose any of that stuff. Right, okay. It'll be very much, spend way more money than it's reasonable,

and the estate agent was spit in your face, throw you the house keys and say, you're very lucky to have that, and by the way, there's no fucking flaws in it. That's what's going to happen. What's the house, what is the house situation? What are the house prices? Have they gone up? Have they gone down? I don't really know how it all works.

I was just glad to get out of it, to be honest. Get into it quickly and get out of as quickly as possible. Where I live now, if you want a family home, by which I mean a four-bedroom terrace, possibly a semi, how much you reckon it is, and I'll tell you. Four bedrooms got to be like, it's a cool mill, surely. It must be cracking off for a cool mill these days. It's a million. Probably a little bit more.

It's Mac. So we've got to be creative. And also, the reason I brought it up is because it's quite an exciting thing to do, as I said. And obviously, I'll get ground down by it. And you can get updates from me if you want. And I'll, you know, fast forward three months. And I'll probably be lost the world to live entirely. Yeah.

Yeah. But one of the things it was super exciting was when the man came around took photos. Right. Okay. Did he bring one of those 3D sort of. video things as modern right he brought a pretty good decent quality kind of SLR camera with some interesting looking lenses with fish eye lenses to make it look bigger not quite a fish eye well this is the thing see the conversation I had with him which is really fascinating for me not for him

very clear um was because he just wanted to get it done he was like he was dropping hints by the end of it like I've got to do six of these today and I have to do six every day so some of the houses are really big and it takes me ages he kept saying that I just leave me alone to get on with this um but one of the things that's fascinating is the gray area of what they can legally do with the photos and what they can't hmm oh right okay what like so you can't um if they're sick on the wall could they digitally alter that to remove sick on the wall yes right i think i'm a novice here but i'll answer the questions their body no probably no that's a feature but the um the things that what i found fascinating is um they can so he did the garden right

I took a photo as the garden and it was fucking pissing it down. It was dreadful, right? And what you've got to do, you've got to make it as kind of uncluttered as possible, all the rooms and the garden. So we did that, but then obviously what you're effectively doing is when he comes to take a photo of, say, the living room, you're removing probably three or four bits and pieces and putting them in the bedroom while he takes the photo. Then you're moving them back.

And then you're moving the bits from the bedroom. Because they don't want to be too personalized. They give you kind of direction of what works best. They don't want, I think the psychology is they don't want, people who are potentially going to buy it to not be able to visualize themselves in it so they don't want to see like really nice wedding photos and shit like that way so you've got to do that stuff anyway so with the garden it was pissing it down so he and I and to be fair to him he was a grafter and he was like look we need to move a lot of this stuff from the outside out of the shot

in the garden and I said look okay well I'm happy to do it I'll stick my coat on and I'll do it but it's going to take me twice as long or you can come and help me yeah so he we were both out there in the piss and range moving stuff around and he took a fight at the garden and it looks fine but do you know what he did

do you know what a little bastard did he's not a bastard I actually please he did it he photoshopped a blue sky in it they all do it that's mad

that's mad you go at the front of any estate and it's always like a blue sky and it's kind of like you can tell it's the same cloud

formation they've only got three or four cumulus limbuses and all that stuff they've only got three or four examples terrible

so I've I get that I get that that's not legally actionable because people can't, I mean, in the UK, you can't really complain about that. But I just thought it was a, it felt like a big betrayal of the situation we were actually in. You reckon? Yeah. And he also said he can't use fish eye lenses because it bends the furniture too much. Right, yeah, yeah, I bet it does.

And it looks really obvious, yeah. So what he was doing, Pete, I'm telling you, that you'll be interested in this, is getting the camera on a tripod. Yeah. And guess how long he's keeping the shutter open for? Oh, like a long, a long time. Because you turn all the lights off. Right, yeah, a long time. And it just, it just gets, it just gives you everything.

It gives you the entire range. Six second shutter speed. Really? Mad, isn't it? In London, with all of the vibrations from the underground. Yeah, I was getting around with that. Oh, there's no underground in, um, in, in where I live. But I'm not putting that on the fucking have either.

There'll be more people under there. I'll put transport links very good, is what I've put. Can you do reviews on people's, uh, state? It's, Luke Murray's lying. there's actually quite a lot of pat your furniture that he will not be leaving with no they can have it actually i'm not carrying that back through the house the the um the six second shut speed which is pleasing um yeah i thought that was um that was pretty interesting i like the fact that he um he said that he loved his job because he got to go to

all these different houses um i i felt like um i was really pleased that without any input from myself or the wife i've got access to they referred to The decor is stylish Right, okay The bathroom was stylish And the decor was tastefully done You've done a lovely job in that house My wife has done a love a job in that house

Yes, exactly I've quite simply just transferred some money To a homeware company To a voucher Yeah So fingers across we get it sold I mean maybe people will be interested In updates

And I want to hear how it goes You were able to When you got the place you've got now Did you have somewhere to sell or no? No, obviously. it. Sarah had, I think Sarah had a bit from an old house, but no. Nothing.

Nothing. So that makes it easier, right? I had to liquidate my, I had to liquidate my Bitcoin. So that was the only that was my only move. And if I'd kept all to that, would have been worth a lot more. And my Nvidia stocks as well before they went fucking stratospheric. I had a nightmare. I had a terrible

2020. You must have made some money on Nvidia though. No, it was pre-making money. It was pre- They just started doing their audio AI stuff, which I thought was quite impressive. And then it went absolutely thermal nuclear around about like 2022, didn't it? So, but no, that was long gone since then.

How much money? Tell me how much money you have that much capital. I didn't have that much capital, to be honest. I'm going to make, anyway, I'm going to know how much you would have made, though. Well, God knows. God knows. Anyway, I decided I'm going to make my money through sports betting. I've started putting accumulators. I've started putting 50p accumulating.

on stuff and let me tell you Luke it's compulsive stuff it really is don't go accumulators are a trip to the poor house mate are they really well what are the smart gamblers do

I haven't got a fucking clue I'm enjoying it I would say 50 p a cumulator a generally good starting point is don't bet on anything the gambling companies advertise as a product yes that seems to be

yeah that seems to be a fool's errand well the thing having said that actually it kind of depends because what I think people miss out on when they criticize gambling stuff and there's plenty of reason to criticize them and I've done that to death on the old Reddit AMA the other week I totally get it but it depends what you're in it for

but if you're talking about if you're talking about so I used to work with quite a lot of professional gamblers and there it's all about margins it's all about spreadsheets all about building your own prices and seeing where the gaps are and arbitrage and stuff like that right if you what I think people misunderstand is that say a product, a gambling, betting product we would have advertised or talked about

on the ramble, that is supposed to be recreational stuff. It's supposed to be going to the pub for the day or whatever and watching the football and it's quite fun to have a couple of quid on some outcomes, right? If you want to do that, then obviously go for your life. Cumulat is a great for that. I love doing that for the fun

of it because once a year you might win a few hundred quid, right? It's not a money making exercise. It's a recreational hobby. The odds are way too high. So you're not going to ever get there really. yeah I mean and so things like scorecasts never really make any money on those for me it would be about like if you've got the knowledge and the experience and you know a little bit about maths you can you can look at say so I'll tell you this is a good example right it's a good example give you an example so you know it's the world darts championship at the moment now Luke Littler who I'm sure you know is the runaway favourite is a prodigy he's a prodigy he's a prodigy He's 18 years old. He's already one at once.

Is he ever going to put his hand on the sparks like that not he man did? Oh, yeah, that was good, wasn't it? That was good. Was that good or was that kind of an immense episode? It looked to me like it was funny, but I've read some troubling things since. Come on. Come on. Let's just enjoy it.

He punched the shit out of the table as well. He punched the shit out of the underside of the table, which I didn't understand. Punch the side or the top. He had really stooped to do it. He had to apologize for his behavior, which shows you how far darts has come, because back in the day, people used to get, the players used to get so pissed he's to fight people in the crowd. So I don't think it's that.

Anyway, so let me give you this example because I think it might be illustrative and it might be interesting for people. So Luke Littler is the overwhelming favorite to win the World Dark Championship. Okay. He's currently a price, if you want to use decimal odds, of 1.74. So he's odds on, right? Right. So that basically means if you put five pounds on, you get four pounds back plus your

steak, right? Right. So it's not big money or anything like that because his price is so short. Now, what's really interesting about that is if he was odds on before the tournament started, which I think he actually was, you are looking at backing someone to across so many variables over such a long period of time that there's absolutely no value in it whatsoever. So I would say that 128 players, I think it is, there's like four rounds, then there's a quarter final

there's semi-final and then the final so one two three four five six so there's seven matches he's got to play across and some of them are very long so those odds aren't even aren't even fair well not fair but you know what I mean they're not they're not good value because there's so many things that could go wrong

but that's on the exchange the market has decided that's what he's worth right but you've hit onto it exactly that's exactly the point I was making and you've picked up on it straight away there's so many variables the only for me at least the only viable play is to take him on, is to lay him, is to say, I'll take on

127 other players, get them on side and I'll go against Luke Littler because there's so many variables. Now, he might win. He probably will win because the exchanges settles on the price and there's probably, they're not really that often wrong. But to me, that is no value whatsoever. So if I had to have a bet on the winner outright market in the PDC World Championships, I would bet against Luke Littler because the price is so short. I also used to find that with things like National Hunt races with horses over fences You would occasionally get this like super horse

That would go into quite a big field Across 12 fences at Cheltenham or whatever And they'd be like so odds on it's unbelievable And you think they've only got to fall over one fence They've only got to be boxed in or jockey makes a mistake That's that's where people look for the gaps and stuff like that And everyone's got their own theory on it because people have got different styles of betting.

But that's not the same as just having an accumulator because you're having a bit of fun. And it's very, very different. I think people should recognise that. Yeah. I think it's refreshing that me with quite an addictive personality has managed to, over the last two years, I think I've spent £40 on the whole thing.

So I think that's pretty good. Have you got an addictive personality? I don't think of you as well. I think I have, yeah. I don't think. But I think everyone says that, though, don't they? I think everyone says that. Toblerons.

big balls of sweets, stuff like that. But I mean, yeah, my only one is, like, if I see, if I see watching Newcastle match and Bruno's on one, I'm like, yellow card.

It's Lila, 20-pence yellow card. Say again? Nice angle. Nice angle. You always know whether you're going to get yellow or not. You can just tell. So you back him to get a yellow card and then you're loving it?

I've got quite a week in the comments, Luke, and I've been reading them and I got a bit upsetting in my head about my my big shout I'm not used to I'm not used to be I don't think I've got the stones

to be an outspoken pundit louis I know what this is about and I'm going to I'm going to approach it carefully but I'm going to take it on okay this is about you saying that Newcastle's a part ways of Bruno Gimrae who's the captain of Newcastle right didn't say this should I said that

if offered an amount of money they could go for it and straight away you've hedged on that big take they should go for it no it's you open for them but here's the thing if you do an outrageous take on the ramble and I take issue with it on the show you get

annoyed with me right if I question it you think I'm not respecting you enough and if I stay quiet which I did on purpose because I was on that show when you said the Bruno thing and leave you to the wolves you get upset with me for letting you get eaten what do you want me to do? I didn't get upset with you I just got upset with it I got in the end I got in the end with the Jardis

the Jardis had to go at me and I got upset and I was saying Sarah I'm a bit upset at these comments she's going why I was going and then I watched Newcastle and then Bruno was doing the same stuff that I complained about so I'm like, it's just an opinion! I've just remembered it's an opinion and it's just other people with opinions on the internet. What's wrong with me? I'm 44 and I'm reading the comments and getting upset about them. What's that about? Also, you were spot on with the Virgil Van Dyke, wouldn't you?

Spot on with the Vars and the David Rear bonus to come in. He has a couple of... He does invite pressure and he has it, but Arsenal, you know, they're flying. But if you say something outrageous and you're wrong, you get dogs. abuse. If you say something outrageous and you're right, no one says shit. No one remembers. No one remembers. It's outrageous, isn't it?

I don't know. You could have at least carried on talking when I was having a swig of water then. You're supposed to be my co-host. Fucking out. Such bad etiquette. Why are you such a bad etiquette? You don't support me. I don't support you. We're just too... No, I'm saying I've tried to support you. I've tried to support me. Impossible. It's really, really

tough to stay on board with you. Before we go, before we go, should we do do an email? Because we've got to have a food poisoning experience here. Yes, please. I think so, because people probably will have food poisoning

around about this time of year. Good, yeah, it's a good time of year for it. Yeah, yeah. All right, I'll do it. I'll do it. It's quite long, so bear with me. But I'll do it now. And after that, we're going to have to go, because I'm starting to lose my voice.

I always happens this time, yeah. Get a bit of Larry. Rest it, rest it. Hello, Sir Luke and Lord Pete. This is from Matthew. Hello to you, Matthew. Oh, he said, well, he signs himself off Matt. So we'll call him Matt.

He says, a long time, this is the roundborn Luke and Pete show. I'm not sure how I got here but here we are I heard to call to arms on Monday show to submit a food poisoning story and I figured I'd do my part now this is a really good one okay and what it put me in mind of is

the next time I have food poisoning I am going to be safe in the knowledge that people are getting food poisoning all around the world in far more impressive ways and in far more impressive locations than I am in my spare room in South London That said, though, Luke, having food poisoning in a place where you don't have full control of the bathroom is...

Yeah, that's terrible. Having food poisoning out of the home is the most upsetting thing I can imagine happening. Well, yes, where you have to stay in a hostel. Exactly. Got got a hostel. Well, we talked about this in the first place. Matt says, nearly 20 years ago, I was on a high school trip to Tibet. Yeah.

Very good. We were there for a week. And it was my first time in the Himalayas and my first time encountering that kind of elevation. Of course, as a 16-year-old adolescent male, I thought it would be cool not to care about rigorous preparation or doing any kind of research about the place, so I rocked up like it was any other place not knowing what I was getting into. I heard vague whispers about altitude sickness and Himalayan food being a world of its own, but I thought I was invincible, so didn't pay much attention to the warnings. Needless to say, I was caught completely with my pants down.

the first day was fine we landed made our way to the hotel had a chill day visited temples and holy sites and strolled around admiring the scenery that evening we had a feast that our tour guide organized all of Tibet's finest food momos ting mo laughing yak meat mutton stew barely a vegetable in sight truly wonderful wouldn't call it my favourite cuisine but definitely an educational one should I look at what tingmo is I don't know I've never heard of it Tingmo. Tingmo is a steamed bread. Oh, very nice.

Oh, lovely. Very beige. Very beige. Yeah, and laughing is a noodle dish. Okay, with chili. Okay, sounds good. So I wouldn't call it my favourite cuisine, but definitely educational one. Before I abed, I had multiple Tibetan delicacies.

Most notably, Po Char, which is butter tea, black tea churned with yak butter and salt, which is essential for warmth and energy. I didn't like it I would Yeah it sounds good Yeah I wouldn't like it at all He said I didn't like it at all But I wasn't going to embarrass myself

By refusing it That's fair enough The next day we hopped on a bus For several hours to go camping at a place called Nampso Lake Which is the highest major saltwater lake In the world sits at an elevation

Of just over 15,000 feet That's no joke Known as the Heavenly Lake And it's a sacred site For Tibetan Pilgrims 15,000 feet just trying to get up a context there. What height is Everest Base Camp?

Let's have a look. Everest Base Camp is 17.5,000. So you're not far off that. You're pretty high up. I know Everest's elevation is just under 30,000 feet at the summit, isn't it? So you're quite high up. He says it was September, but the weather was brilliant, 15 degrees Celsius, bright suns, clear skies, perfect day, surrounded by the Nienchian Tanglia Mountains.

On the bus, I started to feel a bit weird. What Luke described on the episode of Monday was spot on, just weird, like sweating for no reason, felt like I had one of those tracking bugs that Agent Smith puts a Neo in The Matrix. The feeling that home felt really far away should be put as a symptom of food poisoning because exactly that's exactly what I experienced. Just this ominous foreshadowing weighing down on me. I started feeling lethargic when we got there in the evening and put up our tents, slight headache and nausea. I was a little dizzy, but I put that down to altitude sickness and nothing too serious. decided to go to bed early as we had to hike the next day. Boy, was I wrong.

I woke up at 3 a.m. to a feeling of nothing other than abject terror. The headache had turned into a chainsaw massacre. My gut was in flames and my entire body was shivering, even though I felt insanely hot. Keep in mind, it's now nighttime and close to zero degrees outside. I felt a fart, come on. A pump. A boff.

A boss. Terrible mistake. He says, I'll give you a bit of a warning here. Sometimes on the rest is history, which I like, they do little warnings about things that can make people feel squeamish.

I should probably do one of those right now. So if you don't like the symptoms of food poisoning, you might want to turn off and go for a walk or something. Matt says, A sea of warmth flooded my inner thighs and groin, and I knew in that moment I was well and truly fucked. Sea of warmth. At that point, just enjoy it.

enjoy it. You got to. There is a modicum of enjoyment when that release happens, isn't there? You are like, you're relieving yourself, so there's that, and there's also just like, my body has created such energy and heat from deep within me. It's incredible. It's almost like

kettle hot. How have I managed to do that? He says, I dashed outside to find a toilet, only to realize that I was in the middle of nowhere, 4,000 meters above sea level next to a lake surrounded by barren rock. The sky was beautiful, thousands of shining stars on a vibrant moon lit up the lake. If I didn't feel like I was dying, I would have probably

enjoyed it. Anyway, I scrambled to take my thermals off, which were now completely covered in watery diarrhea, and had pulled in my ankles. I spent the next several hours shitting and puking, half naked in the freezing cold right next to my tent, in the middle of our campsite with 20 other kids from my school. People I'd seen almost every day for the last five years. The commotion had woken up my tent mate, who for reasons I still don't understand to this day, Instead of mocking me relentlessly, decided to actually seek help and found the school teacher responsible for leading the trip. Now, that is a really good sign of how fucked you were.

He probably thought, this is going to be great. Saw you and just went, oh, Jesus, this is not a joke. Matt says, the teacher I still keep in touch with us today, never fails to bring up this story of how he brought me a blanket and bottled water, sat next to me under the stars in the Himalayas, at the highest saltwater lake in the world, watching me shit and piss and vomit with my. cock and balls out. Shriveled with like my soul. Needless to say, I was in mobile for the next

few days where everyone hiked and had fun without me. I love this bit from Matt. I do recommend everyone go to Tibet, at least once in their life if they ever get the chance. The Himalayas are absolutely magical and my own bullshit aside, it still remains my favourite place I've ever been to. The people, the culture, the environment are just unmatched. A truly life-changing experience, but do make sure you bring your emodium. Best wishes, Matt. You shouldn't really take a modium unless you absolutely have to because, you know, having diarrhoea is a point that your body wants to flush it out. He's up a mountain, it's.

That body needs to learn how to make solid stuff again. And to be honest, Emodium, if you've really got it, it doesn't fucking work. I'd be slam a whole packet and it just doesn't do anything. I remember taking it. The last of my second modium was when Portsmouth got to the semi-final of the FA Cup against West Brom, the year they won it. And it was a massive deal, and I was shitting through the iron needle. I cannot miss this game.

I cannot miss it. So I just modiumed myself up. It did work. A mate always used to take it at music festivals for the weekend so he didn't have to do a poo. I was like, make you feel horrible though, wouldn't it? I know. I know. It makes you feel sweaty and ill.

Ugh. Yeah. I think it is your body's way of trying to flush stuff out there, isn't it? So you shouldn't kind of go against that unless you absolutely have to, I would say. Yeah, but just do it once. Like you do it once and then you have some more food and then you just, they're turning that into water as well. rude that's what I say rude absolutely rude

you're constantly at war with your own body though anyway so you probably don't care yeah well I'm constantly firing missiles out of that's a problem isn't it there's no I'd love to know if I'd love to know if anyone has had food poisoning in a more impressive impressive place than the highest saltwater lake in the world in the Himalayas that would be something to behold exactly made it more salty

um what we'd suggest um all right then well we've been the Luke and Peter show uh if you want to get in touch about poopies if you want to start 2025 right anything, anything. Hello at Luke and Pete Short.com. The next, the next sorry episode of this show will be in 2026. So, you know, New Year's Resolution, all that kind of stuff. Are you going to get fit? Are you going to learn Adobe Premiere like me? Or are you going to, you know, just see yourself off with some terrible physical decisions? That's the question, isn't it? Do you think you'll stick out the Adobe Premier?

I'm going to have to, I think, because Sony Vegas just started being so bad. It's all those videos you made for our live shows and stuff. They're all made on Vegas. All on Vegas, baby. A bit of Adobe after effect as well. Okay. All right, well, I like to think that to say emails like that one from Matt, they feel like they might serve a purpose of catharsis for the writer as well.

Yes, I think so, yeah. He probably feels better after. He feels like it's all out there. Completely agree. All right, cool people. Listen, have a nice rest of your year. Next time we speak to people, as you've said, It'll be New Year's Day, really.

We'll be the first feat. We'll be the first feat in your podcast app, hopefully. If you start the year listening to the Luke and Pete show as your first chore, worrying. No, things will be good for you. Things will be good for you. Things will be great. I'd like to do a little Luke and Pete show special with us in armchairs in front of a little audience and just chat to people like that.

I think that would be a nice thing to do. Maybe we'll do that in 2026 if people want it. And then get down the old hen chickens. Beautiful. Yeah. Yeah, people can come to us. We're not up there anymore, are we? We're not.

It's not convenient for us, is it? Hennon chicken used to be right near our office, didn't it? Oh, it did, yeah. We moved now. Well, it will have to be the Palladium, man. Yeah, already done that, mate. Already done that, mate. Done that, seen that off, you've completed it.

Completed it. All right, let's go. See you later on. Have a good one, mate. Da-da. Bye. and part of the ACAST creator network.