The Luke and Pete Show - Heading to the Wasteland for a Hard Drive

Episode Date: August 27, 2026

Football’s back, baby. Luke’s focus right now, though, is less on the games themselves and more on his anthropological fascination with the group dynamics found among young blokes heading to and at the match. A chat ensues about this sort of “cosplaying” more generally.Plus, there’s an eclipse to discuss and Pete’s been to some local wasteland to get a hard drive off a boy. No other way of putting that, really.Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: [e-mail] Luke and Pete Show is the sometimes ridiculous, always funny podcast with Luke Moore and Pete Donaldson: two men who have time on their hands and a good idea of how to waste it. Subscribe to get your comedy podcast fix every Monday and Thursday. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's time for the Luke and the Pete Shore. Thursday the 27th of August. It is. I am Pete Donaldson and Luke Moore. It is he. We are here. Lukie Muir. Shag your women and drink your beer.

What the hell was that? That's what the football fans sometimes seeing. Yeah. I don't think there's much shagging going on. Nah. A lot of erectile dysfunction. A lot of erectile dysfunction. Do you have reliance on alcohol.

social situations. Did you think that, did anyone think of a, you know, on an aware day that they would go and shag someone's, what was it, shag someone's Mrs.

Sangha's beer, shag someone's lady? I don't know what it was. I don't think, I don't think, away days has ever resulted in a sexual, in sexual contact.

Apart from that lad who is getting oral sex in the Luz at Marseille that time. Or the kid that got sucked off by the monkey.

That's true. That happened, yeah. That's Sunland lad doing a shit in the stand. Yeah, there's been some behaviour. Listen, I'll tell you what. By the time this episode comes out, fucking football will be properly back, baby. Football's back, baby. Yeah.

It's good stuff in it, yeah. It's exciting, isn't it? Yeah. And the way that... Put that in the promo for the rambler. But the way that, like, I do find it really genuinely... Because you know me, I'm into this kind of idea of... idea of masculinity and how men fit in to modern life.

And I think a lot of the problems that we see in society can be traced back to the fact that men don't really have a place now, right? There's no utility to men or certainly not as much of utilities they used to be, right? So men are a bit lost and they don't really know what to do. I'm not excusing the, you know, a lot of the behaviour because obviously a lot of it is unacceptable. You used to drink the beer and chag the people, didn't we? yeah I mean drinking beer now we can't even now can't even do that

I mean drinking beer and having consensual sex is basically fine isn't it I mean it's probably broadly fine but but my point is that as I said to you once before you know in the post-war years you know men were heroes for what they did and they have you know killing the Nazis is broadly you know even these days it's broadly seen to be a good a good thing to have done and then they all go into jobs where it's mining or building or the services or whatever

It's like, shit, you're actually doing stuff, and you're identified by that. So you would know, because your old man was a minor. My granddad was a soldier. And, you know, up until the very, one of the last things my granddad ever said to me at the age of 94 before he died is, don't worry, son, they won't better to kill me. I'm an old soldier, right? He's like identifying still as a soldier as part of his identity. And these days, you know, men, particularly young men don't get any of that shit, right?

So what do they do? They go to the gym and make themselves look tough. or they go and join a fucking football fan group, you know, and maraud around the country having a lovely old time because they haven't got a job or if they have got a job, they hate it, and they identify as part of a tribe in that way. And actually it's quite interesting.

You can, I obviously go to a lot of football matches. I love observing the behaviour of, like, young male football fans because it's so obvious they're trying to find a kind of identity. They want to be part of a tribe. They want to be part of this team. they want to dress in the same way. It's no different really to how a big part of being in the army will be the uniform, right? A big part of being, you know, a miner or a builder will be how you identify as one,

what you look like, the role you perform. And men are lost, right? So a lot of them go down these really unhelpful avenues with people like Andrew Tate and stuff like that. Because Andrew Tate's basically a cartoon version of what being a man is, right? So that's identifiable. They can understand that. They think, okay, it's okay to be like that because he's like that. But to me, when you see a load of lads on a train going to go into a football match,

the hierarchy is interesting, the tribal nature is interesting, the way they behave is interesting, and the bravado of it is interesting. And do I think that more than one or two percent of them actually talk to women or fight other men? No, I don't. But they want to be seen to be doing that. Do you not find that interesting? Well, everyone's just got a cosplay, aren't they? Everyone's...

It is cosplaying, isn't it? We're watching a kind of... True crime. It wasn't really true crime, I suppose. This girl who, on Netflix yesterday, we were having our spag ball. We were a young lass who was basically just very sort of into modeling and kind of showing herself off on Instagram or whatever.

as most of a friendship group were. How did that get on my feed, you said to your partner? She just decided at one night to just smash a car with her two friends and won her boyfriend and a friend into a wall. Right. And the parents seemed a little loosey-goosey, let's say. And everyone was just like, oh, I thought this girl was like, to see her kind of a few weeks after the crash

after she'd killed her boyfriend and her friend deliberately it seemed Oh they died She went to prison for murder Right And she And the Like a few weeks after

She was basically posting Pictures of herself Dressed in like Halloween clothes going Like she's going out to Halloween And like And I think a brand got in touch Like one of those shitty Instagram brands Got in touch with what

You know Because she's a pretty girl on the on Instagram and said oh we'd love to use you as like one of our brand ambassadors or something and she replied in public so I said oh I'd love to and it was like days after the crash like three or four days after the crash um oh yeah I'd love to I've been trying to get in touch you guys lots of time I'd love to be a brand ambassador and it's like fucking hell mate fucking hell it's all very dark isn't it like the people who you wouldn't sort of ever hear about because you know they're just you know they live in their sort of but fuck towns

and just kind of like, you know, marry someone well off and just, you know, disappearing to be a conceited, rotten person. They're just out there, and you can sort of see their horrible life. What was the motive for what she did? It seemed that she was, she was very controlling and very sort of like she'd sort of flip out

and, you know, decide she was going to try and attempt to smash stuff up. They had a very toxic relationship, but it seemed. But, yeah. It was pretty full-on to kill both. You literally just drove down the road at like 90 miles an hour. But how did she survive then?

Fucking, God knows. God knows. Absolutely terrifying. Yeah. Wild, isn't it? Do not get in the car with someone like that. That would be my advice. No, no.

But Pete, how is that relevant to what I was saying? What's the connection? Well, just that everyone's on kind of, everyone's on parade. Everyone's on, everyone's cosplaying as somebody who, who they're not basically and you know my example being that she kills someone and then like three weeks later she's she's so hallowing is this happy sort of person who's you know every like the social media stuff it isn't real but that i think that extends into real life now we just sort of walk in a room and pause don't we we pretend that what we've been you know we tell people what

we've been doing is if that's some kind of like cultural cashier um in when in you know five years ago that would just be the reserve of social media it's all an extension isn't it i suppose I like me, eating rollmops in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the in the time yeah but the thing about that is you did that for your own enjoyment that just came out it's got incidentally really you didn't post that on Instagram no you're my Instagram you're my Instagram you're my Instagram I know I kind of I feel a bit like um who um who um started the Mormon church because he had those golden plates and he what he delivered it to the masses Joseph Smith right okay so I feel like that you're you're you're you're I deliver the good news, the gospel from the Donaldson. Yeah, exactly. From the desk of Donaldson. Dols of the sermon. To the masses.

And you don't have to muddy your hands by sticking it on your socials because you let other people do it for you. It's actually quite a big power move thinking about it. Is yeah. Yeah, right, take this down, will you? Take this down, will you, secretary? I just don't feel, I just feel I've curated people who know me and people who understand me.

People who tolerate me more than anything else. No, I do. I do. I just don't think. They might like this. I can't be ass with everyone else, to be honest. I cannot be asked. Well, large parts of you are unknowable.

I think even to yourself. But the parts I do know of you. Parts of my lungs, haven't been seen for a little while. How are your lungs, by the way? Terrible. Still terrible. Still awful.

What's going on here? I don't fucking know. Just can't breathe. So when El C was over a few weeks ago, he told me, me that his friend has just had a double lung transplant. Gimme, give me, give me, give me. So it is doable.

Just meeting my right there, so to have a little cough. Yeah, I just give me, just give me them now. But I presume I'm scared that it's other parts of my body getting involved with my lungs, you know, doing, doing stuff. And I just sort of feel like that if I install new lungs, it'll be something else. it'll just be the same as the old I like that you use the term install as well like it's a computer program

I will install the long zip file extract it and update it I bought two things of eBay this week they haven't fucking worked it's annoyed me one by design wasn't working because I didn't read the listing properly but the other one doesn't work either

it was a network accessible storage enclosure I don't even know what that is and then I was like I don't have a hard drive. I'll go on me... It basically allows a hard drive to be accessible from the internet.

So I'm doing a lot more video editing these days and massive fucking files. So moving them from one computer to another is a bit of a pain in the bum. So I'm just doing that really. And then I met a boy in the middle of some waste ground this week to pick up a hard drive.

I shall be... That itself could be a crime. Yeah. That in itself should be a crime. But the problem would be fucking hard. drives now is they're so fucking expensive. You have to consider the second-hand market, but God knows what they've got on that.

God knows what they've got on there. Presumably it's a formatted empty hard drive. It will be, but it is, it will be, but I mean, it depends on how well they've formatted it, presumably. Because if you just format it once, like, the data's still there, they just delete the menu.

They just delete the little roadmapers to where they're there. If the data is still there, how do you get the space? Well, it's because the data, the data still lay, in knots and one's format and the computer just doesn't know where the data is, so just overwrites it.

So basically your sort of concept of where the data is is, you know, the boot sector, you know, the thing that So it's basically technically impossible to delete it properly? No, no, no, you can do because you just, all you do is switch the, you know,

at random, switch the different bites to knots and ones, you know, in succession. And then you just in a situation where like, you just keep doing, that until the computer until the hard drive can never remember you have to put it in the bath of acid or something

yeah I mean yeah you can drill it I suppose but yeah oh yeah we drill we drilled some didn't we we did you we did we had a little hard drive drilling we had a little hard drive drilling yeah and that's right and that's computer security for you all right that was bloody enjoyable that was in my old flat it's quite exciting I felt a bit like a hacker yeah well the very definition of the reverse

of a hacker I would say I've I've hacked the sector sir What have you done? I've drilled all of the hard drives. Well, you've deleted all the data now. I'm stopping anyone else hacking. That's what you do. That's something else. Yeah, exactly.

Exactly. By the way, do you have any interest in this upcoming eclipse of the sun? Yeah, I mean, we're recording this a little while in advance. We've both got things on. But yes, my dad sent, basically, in the mail, two pairs of eclipse glasses arrived. And I was like, where have these come from? I thought, I was looking at everyone in my life going, who's the sort of person to send eclipse glasses?

you're the sort of person to send eclips classes because you're into space and stuff. I've fucking slept on this. I haven't really got, I haven't really been... Apparently you can't get it for loving of money. Can we synthesize them somehow? Can we sort of, like get them somewhere else, somehow else? I think just look at it for a bit.

Just look at it. Just don't look at it. Just do Donald Trump just sort of blink your eyes a little bit. Yeah. I'm excited for it a little bit because we're not going to get the good stuff in... I think Bristol's your best... spot in it in the UK.

But I'm quite looking forward to it. It's not passing over the UK Ireland directly. It's like 97% will be. I think you really want to see the 100. You have to be in Greenland, Iceland, or Spain, I think. Right, okay. Yeah.

It's kind of curbs around. Yeah, they always, but they always, it's the sort of thing, it's a sort of like weird thing that we should hang our hats on a little bit more. Like, these sort of eclipses come out of Norway. and they're like, oh, we're doing an eclipse today. I was like, what?

I didn't realize. Why does my dad send me an eclipse glasses? You know, and it's like, I think that should be more important. There should be some kind of change in the months. There should be an extra month when there's an eclipse or something. Do you know what I mean? Because it's such a seismic thing where the sun literally goes dark. What do you reckon? Ancient peoples would have thought about it?

Well, exactly. That's the biggest thing. They would be so confused. And that would, they'd probably find eclipses absolutely delightful and scary and really important. So, like, I think we should also be treating these eclipses with the respect they deserve. We should have commemorative watches released. We should have TV shows about them. We should, well, I just think eclipses are absolutely, out of all of the moon, fucking sun, space stuff, that's, that's, that's, that's an effect I can get, I can get with, you know,

walking around Iceland at two o'clock in the morning in the sunshine. That's the, one of the most affecting, eerie sort of situations I've ever been. Isn't it the opposite to that? Isn't it dark in the day? not light at night. No, no, I've definitely experienced it. It was 2 o'clock in the morning. It was still late. It was like, whoa.

How is that possible? That's not what eclipse is, is it? That's not an eclipse if I'm saying that it's an equivalent effect. Do you know what I mean? Something happening when you're not expecting it. Do you know what I mean? Like in the middle of the day. And to be fair, I mean, it's 7pm.

It should be, you know, it does get dark at 7pm at certain times in the air, if that makes sense. Do you remember the one in 99? There was one in August of 1999. and I was working at Safeway at the time. And I was working in the car park doing the trolleys because by that point I had been kicked out of every other department. And when it was happening, everyone just came out the supermarket with their glasses and started looking up at the sky

and it felt quite weird. Yeah, yeah. But that was a really good one. I remember it pretty well. It was only total eclipse over like the southwest, I think, but I was on the South Coast at the time. And it was pretty good, like pretty decent. Pretty eerie, yeah, pretty eerie.

stuff. Bruno's putting a little bit of information about the old solar eclipse. In ancient China, they thought that the sun was being devoured by a dragon. They would bang drums and make loud noises to scare off the beast and bring back daylight. That must be quite satisfied. Yeah, well, that would be quite satisfying.

Oh, yeah, we did it. We scared it off. I would say that there was this, you know, like, how Chinese people have, like, paper cuttings in their front windows and stuff? Yeah. to what do you call it it's to encourage wealth and prosperity and stuff

right in the I think on a previous show I mentioned that I went to the Tate there's this guy horny little devil You're not to talk about the Guatemalan American again are you with his big boobies no I can't tell how big this guy's boobies is but he's a Chinese fella

and he does these very ornate paper cuttings just like the stuff that the women would do to put in the front of their houses to encourage prosperity. But he's a horny little gay man and it's all about queer identity and big old wangers. Big old wangers.

You've been asked to be a part of them, have you? No, we're just, just big old wangers going in butts and we've been wafted around and he's made these very ornate paper cuttings and they look really good and they're almost put, I mean, I guess they're perfectly symmetrical because he's folding them over.

but it's a charming little subversion of what you usually see in a Chinese restaurant caused by a gigantic penis and you have to waft it away with a pan And apparently the Inca's saw it as a sign of the sun god's displeasure Which probably meant they were going to start sacrificing people

Normally they would just get To sacrifice children right Into a hole in it yeah Throw people in a hole in it yeah Good stuff Set fire people in it Sometimes I think sacrificing in that cold was seen as like a reward.

Yeah. Seems like a really honorable thing to do. Yeah. Imagine like heading towards you, you do when you'd be like, yes, brilliant. And then you're like, ow,

hot. Oh no. But depends on how you, depending on how you rolled a seven, you wouldn't necessarily know much about it, right? No, I guess not. But by the way, speaking of space stuff,

I also saw the video of that SpaceX rocket that they flew into, that flew into the moon. Oh yeah, they just had dumped it. a lot of shit into the moon. And NASA seemed very relaxed

about it all. They're in hock to SpaceX, aren't they? Yeah, they seemed very, they seemed like I, I would, you'd surely hear, like, from NASA sort of saying, yeah, this isn't great, but they were quite sort of, oh, it's going to be a fascinating, you know,

thing to see and, you know, fascinating scientific experiment, seeing a big lump of metal smashing into, did they do it on purpose? Just throw stuff up in the air so they can study it or was it an accident? No, I think they were just absolutely

retcon and they were just absolutely just making it up. They were saying, oh, it's going to be absolutely fine. It's going to be absolutely fine. How much do you should be doing it? No, I don't think you should be doing it either. I think there has been projects in the past

to kind of fly things into the moon to see what stuff comes up to teach us about, you know, the makeup of the moon and stuff like that, right? Well, this was just something that just happened. they just, yeah, they just fired it they fired a rocket into the

into space and then they just I don't know whether they fuck, I don't think I did it deliberately, did they? Apparently in 2009 NASA did do it deliberately. Yeah, well this one's unintentionally crashed into the moon at high speed. Was Elon Musk on it? Well, with any luck,

maybe Donald Trump in his little how did he get into his flight with a catering truck. That was a fun story, wouldn't it? Remember we at a swap planes? Yeah, so he got on the plane. There had been a credible threat to him from some Iranian source.

So he got on Air Force One and then got, waved to everyone, went out the other door into a catering truck and into another plane in secret and flew in that one instead. And there were two Air Force ones. It's like Taylor Swift. Like kind of...

Yeah. When she jumps in the pool? No, no, no. She would get through the crowd at like Wembley and stuff in like a kind of like a little what do you call it like a bin basically

do the old Joseo marino yeah exactly so yeah the one thing I was disappointed about with the Joseon Maria documentary which I've seen was there was no mention

of the laundry bin right okay yeah there was not even that's one of the fun aspects of him I know I did question the director about it and he said that

you know you can't include everything right okay so yeah but include that yeah I was interviewing a guy who did a wrestling and he was saying like I was, one of the bits he put in was about

Eugene, a problematic wrestler who's basically a disabled boy who he still wrestles now on the Indies and he would wash his pants every two days and he was like,

and I was like, I wanted more information like that. I want to know how often wrestlers wash their pants. I want to know how they get their pants clean. And I'm like, put more of that stuff in. I don't care about him

headlining you know, Madison Square Gardens, I want to know how often they watch their fans and where they do it. I totally agree. I enjoyed the media documentary. I thought it was good. The guys who made it did a really good job.

And the producers are really big Rambled fans. That's what we had him on the show. And he was delighted to be on the ramble episode that we did for our page and subscribe. It's fucking funny because I showed him the intro scripts. And he was like, what? And I can say my name. I'm Miles Coleman.

I was like, yeah. He was like, oh, right. Amazing. And in the Instagram about it anyway But the point I was just I could make was that like I think I could do without

another 45 seconds of John Terry talking about how much he loves Marino Just give us the laundry basket Just give us the laundry basket stuff How do you get in? What did it smell of? Was it,

you know, did it have that lovely Kind of when you put sports clothes Unwashed sports clothes In one place They start to smell like ammonia Very quickly I've had that experience before

I remember I remember that When I had the Rambled kit once. Yeah. And I didn't get around to it for ages. And it does start, it does,

the chemical reactions are fucking real, man. Amazing. Yeah. Why does it smell like, why does it suddenly smell like, like the sort of ammonia that could bleach your hair? It's amazing.

Have you tried to bleach your hair with it? No, no. I keep threatening to bleach my hair. I think you should. Bruno did it. I think I should do it. Bruno did it?

Yeah, but he's a young man, though, isn't he? Yeah. Yeah, it still looked at abysmal. It looked appalling. With my dad, with my work dad hat on. It's like, what have you done there?

Work dad. Stop saying work dad. My ex-boss used to do that. I didn't care for it. No, I said with my work dad hat on. I've put it on for a second. I'll take it off again now. My boss is to say I'm very proud of my work children.

Ugh. Ugh. But then. But then. But then. Producer, uh, Bruno's in the, um, live doc. And he says, I'm going to bleach it again now. Oh, that's absolutely the correct response.

Yeah. Absolutely the correct response. He's, he's getting involved this week because, uh, on the last record, he wasn't there. and we had trouble with... He missed his chance. He missed his chance. We had trouble with Luke's tech, so we got to stop and start. Did we?

We did. We had to stop and start, remember? And we're going to... He'll have to do with that, edit. I fixed it myself. I fixed it myself, though. Didn't need a producer to help me. Didn't need a producer.

Didn't need a producer. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go out of here. Let's smash our Luke and Pete Shore faces into the side of a big moon. We'll be back next time out. Hello at Lukepeachshore.com is the way to get in touch.

going to be reading some emails out next time. Yeah, definitely. I've got a couple of good ones, actually. I fucking promise it. I, uh, yeah, do it. See you then. Ta-ta. Bye.

The Luke and Pete Show is a stack production and part of the ACAST creator network.