The Luke and Pete Show - Hold on to your hands

Episode Date: June 16, 2022

Pete started watching Stanger Things from series 4. A classic renegade move from Donaldson.Today, we hear what it is like to play life-sized Monopoly and discuss THAT duet between Michael Ball and Captain Tom. Two things that have further damaged Luke’s faith in modern society. To top things off, Pete tells us what could be his most unbelievable story to date!Want to contact the show? Email: [e-mail] or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the Luke and Pete show My name is Pete Donaldson It's a Thursday I'm joined by Luke Moore Luke is in He's still in bathroom hell Yeah He's still having his bathroom fixed

Luke, I've been fixing my own bathroom This week actually I have For some reason The bathroom Our other bathroom We've got a little We've got a little one fixed. Luke, I've been fixing my own bathroom this week, actually. I have, for some reason, the bathroom, our other bathroom, we've got a little one that connects onto the bedroom. I've got two bathrooms. First of all, Pete, my billing on this show is after the day of the week now, apparently.

Yeah, well. And secondly, you've got twice the amount of bathrooms I've got. In fact, you've got an infinity times amount of bathrooms that I've got at the moment, because I still haven't got a fucking single one. Right. I've got a little toilet in my cabin. Have you really? You plumbed the toilet in there? My little pain cabin, but I just use it as storage.

Have you actually got a working toilet in there? Yeah. That's amazing. You didn't put that in, did you? No, no. I couldn't trust myself with this. I think we've got so many bathrooms because we do sit on the main sewer line.

Like our extension is very much next to the main working point of the sewer. So some days, for whatever reason, sometimes the bathroom that backs onto the bedroom, I think there's a name for that one, but I can't remember what it is. What do you call it when you've got a bathroom next to your bedroom? En-suite. En-suite. It frequently does not smell very sweet. I mean, it does smell sweet. It smells of

a human excrement. So that's unwelcome. There are drawbacks. But I, for some reason, in the bathroom that I use, that I have access to, because I'm a responsible partner who showers when my partner's asleep, I shower downstairs so she can't hear me stomp about. For some reason, there's big gouges in the bath.

Just big fucking gouges. And I've no idea how or why that's happened. It looks like someone's been trying to eat the bath. Like, gung, gung, gung, gung. Okay, was it, were they there when you moved in? Yes. Yeah, I didn't do it. That's less frightening, isn't it?

That is less frightening. Yeah, imagine if it just appeared. It looked like maybe an owl had got at it or something. I love the idea of the people who built that house or whoever it was at some point, the people who lived there, went, right, this is on top of a sewer. So what are we thinking?

It's probably going to stink. But on the other hand, as many toilets as we want. As many toilets. Make lemonade out of these lemons. And they have done that. You've got three toilets. Incredible stuff. How much Domestos are you going through every month?

Yeah, I mean, yeah. A lot of them are stinky. As I yeah. A lot of them are stinky. As I said, a lot of them are stinky. But I've sort of filled in the holes, the gouges, with this kind of setting filler. And then I've basically sanded or started sanding it down. And then I'm going to spray paint with acrylic. I don't know how you should be spray painting your bath, mate.

Is that something you've been told to do? You can spray paint your bath. It was all in one kit. Oh, good. I've done a lovely job. I don't mind admitting. A lovely job. Can I have a look at it at some point?

Get some photos? Yeah, I'll send you a picture of the gouges. Do you think you could train your dogs to actually use the toilet? They use the planters for poopies. Not the same, is it? If I filled a toilet full of soil, they would definitely jump up on it and start pooping. Again, it's not the same, is it? It's not the same.

again it's not the same is it it's not the same speaking of phantom gouges in the bath have you watched the latest season of Stranger Things yet I have never seen a single Stranger Things in my life but then I watched the first one of the new series

why did you do that I don't know some fucking reason you start a book in chapter 15 as well do you what are you doing? I mean, does it really matter? Like, it's just a spooky little... Again, it's just, you know, selling back our nostalgia with spooky monsters and stuff.

Oh, it's basically more 80s than the actual 80s were. It's like, you know... Do you know what it reminds me of? I'm not going to spoil it for anyone listening. I'm not going to spoil it. But it's so over-the-top, really, 80s, that it reminds me of right i'm not going to support for anyone listening i'm not going to spoiler it but it's so over the top really 80s that it reminds me of a time when i must have been about 15 i was in the house on my own and my parents were at work or whatever and i thought you know what i'm gonna make myself a milkshake right i'd make myself a banana milkshake and what i could

have done is go into the cupboard got the nesquik, stirred it in some milk and enjoyed a nice banana milkshake. But I just thought to myself, I don't know, I was just drunk on the excess of being home on my own. I thought, I'm going to make the most banana-y milkshake I can make. I promise this is true. Yeah.

I got the Nesquik, banana flavour. I filled it halfway up with milk. I added two chopped bananas that I'd blitzed. Healthy. I added some banana flavflavoured ice cream. Okay, yeah. That medicine you used to get when you were a kid. Yeah, did all that stuff, right?

And what did it taste like? It's just too bananary. It tasted too much like banana. You couldn't really get your head around it. Your brain couldn't process it. It was too much. If anything, he's bananad it too well. Yeah, I had banernarded it too well yeah i had bernarded

it too well now the the analogy admittedly falls down when i'm when i say that i actually think stranger things the most recent series is brilliant i really enjoyed it but it's kind of 80s nostalgia that's people have just said how much 80s stuff can we put on top of each other yeah predominantly for people who weren't around in the 80s yeah Yeah. So they're not going to question it. Yeah. I sort of, the sort of Dungeons and Dragons sort of aspect kind of seemed a little, I just didn't buy that side of it, to be honest. But you're watching it, but Pete, you're watching episode like 35.

You haven't watched any of the stuff before here. Yeah, but I've seen all the fuckers on the telly. They're all little sprouted-faced boys, little squidgy-faced boys with no front teeth. And Millie, whatever her name is. They're all kicking

around, aren't they? Yeah, but all you've done there is just... Lily Allen's husband. They're all kicking around, aren't they? Really, all you've done there is just describe some of the actors. That's not the same as watching the show, mate, is it? You do know they're playing other people, right? I bought Sarah a Stranger Things snow globe, which had black snow in it.

I have no idea why it had black snow in it. Yeah, that's not snow. You'd have to watch the show to understand it. Is it dust? Kind of, I think, yeah. But what you should do I genuinely think the first series is brilliant

second series was a bit meh the third was a kind of return to form and the fourth is right up there I would say right okay cool so it's worth investing your time into

yeah I just find myself or we find ourselves we have limited time to watch stuff because we just work weird hours and we actually sit down we just sort of like

flirt with shows we'll do like one ep one ep of each kind uh each kind of show i suppose we've done like two episodes of atlanta one stranger things you managed to get through most of the staircase even though we'd watched the staircase uh documentary uh yeah that doesn't appeal to me because i think the documentary is fine right so why do you need a dramatization as well yeah i don't know why they're doing that i completely agree i don't know why they're doing that. I completely agree. I don't know why they're doing that. But you watched it anyway? We watched it anyway, yeah.

Was it good? Yeah, it was all right. Thingy, was it Colin Firth? Colin Firth. Oh, well done. You fucking knew who played the main guy? Yeah, he plays the wrong or the right, who knows? Who knows?

Yeah, he's very much, he does a lovely approximation. And I, there was this lass in it and I was like, is that? It's Toni Collette, isn't it? Toni Collette, yeah. She's in everything at the moment. She's a fucking excellent actor. But she is like the Nintendo seal of approval

for anything good. She never picks shit stuff. And even if it is a shit thing, she'll elevate it somehow because she's fucking brilliant. John Snow's sister, is it? Oh, Maisie Williams. No.

In real life, Maisie Williams is best friends with tall redhead girl. Oh, the girl who plays Sansa Stark? Yes. Sophie Turner, I know. Sansa Stark is in it. And I was like, I just thought,

I just assumed that it wasn't Sansa Stark, Williams. I thought, well, I mean, she's probably, she'd probably want a bigger role if she was going to do something. But maybe she hasn't done anything since Game of Thrones much. I've not seen her in anything. Have you sort of seen her popping up here and there? Can I be slightly rude? Right.

She's not a very good actor. I don't think anyone in Game of Thrones is a good actor. I think they're all stealing a living, personally. I would disagree, because have you heard of a gruff Yorkshireman by the name of Sean Bean? When Saturday comes, it's Sean Bean. Yeah, bastard.

I just want to play for United. Yeah. It's funny, because I think you you've I think you're probably fair I think overall that's probably fair I think it's got an interesting combination of older

kind of national treasure type actors who are good yes which then only serves to show up how poor a lot of the younger cast are

yeah but I would say that so for example I mean I really like her she seems really lovely and I follow her on Instagram and stuff and she seems so sweet. But I don't think Emilia Clarke's very good, like Daenerys. Yeah, I'd agree with that.

She's a lovely woman. I've interviewed her a couple of times. She's really lovely. But yeah, she's not a great actor. So maybe she's not going to get that much work because of it. Which would be surprising given her fucking... Yeah, maybe just screen tested really poorly. Yeah.

On the Tony Collette thing, have you seen that movie Hereditary? Yes, I have. It's where they float at the end. Someone floats at the end. Spoilers. I think that is quite a very small part of it. Everyone gets their knobs out

and then someone floats at the end up some stairs and it really made me laugh. Yeah. Do you not think it's a frightening film? It is frightening but at that point yeah at that point

Sarah was absolutely petrified and I was laughing my head off. She's amazing in that to the point where it was kind of interesting because this is probably one more for the Clash of the Titles guys

but just while we're on the subject very briefly like it doesn't seem to be recognised if someone's a really good performer in a horror film for some reason. Right, okay. Do you know what I mean? You never get a horror movie nominated for an Oscar or whatever. No. Generally,

right? Which is kind of weird, don't you think? I think it's coming around though, isn't it? Because obviously what was the one with Jordan Peele? Oh, Get Out. Was that nominated? That would have been nominated for a few, wouldn't it because obviously um what was the one with jordan peele um i'll get out and get out was that nominated that would be nominated for a few wouldn't it i don't know they seem to just get ignored don't they yeah they think people sort of regard it as being quite low low art i suppose yeah i don't know why um and and then pete can i can i also just change and

slightly although we did mention it briefly a week or two ago can we just make sure that the that we don't go through a Luke and Pete show without mentioning at some point the Michael Ball and Captain

Tom Duet I didn't see this now now you've not seen it I've not seen it I think somebody might have said it

to me and I I think you might have said it on the on the group and I was just doing something else and I haven't sort of revisited it so

maybe I'll put it on mute so there's no license. What's happening to you now? So you've got the link. I'll describe what's happening. So Michael Ball is doing something for the Royal Variety Charity. He's on stage, and I presume he's singing. He's definitely singing. And then he turns around.

He turns. Oh, God. Check the back of those medals. Captain Tom's there. And he's, yeah. Good God. What is he singing? Because we can't play this out annoyingly.

You'll never walk alone is what they're singing. Good God. People will be able to find it themselves. What is that? I mean. Well, it able to find it themselves. What is that? I mean... Well, it's funny without the sound. God knows what it's going to be like with the sound, so I look

forward to... People are pausing the episode right now going to find it. But, you know, the thing I love about it is that Michael Ball seems like a nice man, right? He's obviously very talented. You know, Captain Tom is a weird british phenomenon as we've talked about before less said about his family the better um but the thing is how many

stages of approval has that had to go through how many people about to go that's good we're doing that uh you're right though but in that kind of situation they're all variety charity they're gonna be the most earnest people alive but no one stood there and gone just have a think about this just have a think

about this so I sent it to my family members some of whom are a lot more earnest than I am and a lot more what would you say

kind of mainstream than me so they will watch like ITV a lot a lot right for example

and it was a bit of a mixed bag. My mum thought it was the most hilarious thing she'd ever seen. But my sister said, oh, it's nice. You know, it's sweet. You know, it's a nice thing. You know, just try and raise some money for charity. You know, he's an old fella.

You know, he's a sweet guy kind of thing. And I thought to myself, this is, I just find it absolutely baffling. I found the whole, I think we're on a timeline. The last time Britain was actually good was the opening ceremony for the London Olympics. Yeah, it's all been downhill. And even that was a surprise.

They pulled that out of the bag, to be honest. And it was amazing. It was amazing. And it was life-affirming and satisfying. And it made everyone happy for the right reasons, especially when it had been announced, obviously we had the 7-7 bombings and stuff. So it was an amazing time to be in London.

But you're right, I think it's... Fast forward 10 years, Platinum Jubilee, and I flicked on some of the pageant and I just saw Tim some of the pageant, and I just saw Timmy Mallet and fucking Alan Titchmarsh on a bus with Cliff Richard. They're the survivors, though. They're the survivors of certain police inquiries. They're the ones that the police had nothing on.

So that's what we're stuck with. We're stuck with your Michael Balls. We're stuck with Timmy Mallet. We're stuck with George Ezra. We're stuck with your Michael Balls. We're stuck with Timmy Mallet. We're stuck with George Ezra. We're stuck with these people. Speaking of national treasures, have you seen that interview that Liam Payne from One Direction did? He's done a few, hasn't he?

He's very much... My God. He did Jack's show, didn't he? He did do Jack's show, yeah. But he hadn't sort of adopted at that point... I watched that Jack Kett episode. It was very good. He hadn't adopted that kind of weird Pan-American kind of accent.

He's an odd character now. He's a very odd character. He's like a combination of David Brent when he's talking about fighting, which is just weird, Brent when he's talking about fighting, right? Which is just weird. And also like a quite

almost like a young personal trainer motivator type person. Yes. The episode I'm talking about, he did it with Logan Paul, right? And on a show with Logan Paul and his absolute nobody mates, right? And on a show with Logan Paul and his absolute nobody mates, right?

He still came across as the oddest bloke on it. Like the most tragic bloke on it. Basically, you've got people on that show whose only qualification is that they're friends with Logan Paul, who's become successful, right? And Liam Payne still looks like the worst person on it. But he's just kind of

like his Oscars speech was pretty special he's talking about Will Smith being a great communicator or something like that he just spent all his time talking about how he was friends with them all it was yeah and it was rambling at best

but amazing like just amazing stuff. I find him very watchable. Everything he does, very watchable. But on that interview, he did have a couple of bombshells that he didn't get on with some of the members of his boy band. They're all having rucks out the backstage. They're all young fucking guys

he's probably very confident you know I get that but it's just the way he said it it's just the way he said it at one point he says

one of the members of the band got annoyed with me and put me up against the wall and I said to him very calmly if you don't take

your hands off me there's a high chance you'll never use them again it's like what what are you talking about? What are you going to do? You're just going to concentrate a beat down on the hands? I've got a very specific implement in my pocket, which targets hands specifically.

The hand removers, yeah. Oh, it's just funny, isn't it? There was a woman who I spoke to over the last weekend who lives around the corner, and she was... She had... Her hand fell off. Her whole hand just fell off. What?

She was jogging down the high street outside Waitrose and she fell over and her hand fell off. What are you talking about? What does it even mean? She broke her hand so, I mean, just amazingly, that her whole fucking hand came off. It didn't happen. That's never happened before.

I don't think the skin was bust but you've got to remember going into hospital with one of your hands in the other hand was she they're gonna say what happened and if you say i fell over that's not gonna wash your hands falling off well she was trying to ring home to uh to to to get hold of the one hand presumably yeah exactly and and she's trying to ring home to get hold of the partner. With one hand, presumably. Yeah, exactly. And she tried to ring home to get a little bit of help. The kid was on the iPad, cancelled the call three times.

How did you find out about this? And she said it was a good two years of rehabilitation. So she broke her hand? She's fine. But the whole thing, like, apart from the membrane of the skin that held it together, the hand fell off. Everything was gone. No one says that, though.

Everything, the hand fell. That's what she said. That's what she said. She said to you, Pete, good to see you. How you doing? How's Sarah? Great, fine. I said, have you got a new handshake?

And she said, last week i fell over and my hand fell off yeah that's how she described it and that's how the doctors described it that and the hand fell off no doctor has ever said that what happened um could i just get a second opinion consultant sure sure what happened i think the hand fell off get out of my fucking surgery you're not a fucking doctor that's not happened but yeah i'd never heard of it before and i was like i'd so obviously i was quizzing her she's going no you know my hand fell off. Get out of my fucking surgery. You're not a fucking doctor. That's not happened. But yeah, I'd never heard of it before. And I was like, I just,

so obviously I was quizzing her. She's going, no, you know, my hand fell off. How does she feel about it? Um, she,

uh, she seemed remarkably unfazed by the whole thing. It was two years ago. Did you see her? Did you ever look at, did you ever look at it? It looked perfectly normal. And she had full use of it.

Great nail varnish. Full use of it. Yeah. I think she said, I don't feel a cold when it's, um varnish. Full use of it, yeah. I think she said, I don't feel a cold when it's cold. So if your hand is going to fall off, that's one of the major... You're only going to need one glove.

That's a saving. Were you awkward about it? Did you know what to say? Of course I was awkward about it. Jesus Christ, I never know what I'd say in those situations. Did you chop your own hand off to make it feel better? Yeah, exactly. That's I'd say in those. Did you chop your own hand off to make it feel better? Yeah, exactly. That's a mad story, Pete.

I've never heard anyone say that before. I'll try and find out more, what the actual kind of ruling is on stuff like that. Can you say that your hand fell off if it's indeed held on by skin? We should have a break because we've got some batteries to do. I'm going to, Luke, in the break, I'm going to watch this Captain Tom duet. I'm going to, Luke, in the break,

I'm going to watch this Captain Tom duet. All right. Okay, yeah, you enjoy yourself, mate. All right. On each step with Peloton, from their pop runs to walk and talks,

you define what it means to be a runner. Whatever your level, embrace it. Journey starts when you say so. If you've got five minutes or 50, Peloton Tread has workouts you can work in. Or bring your classes with you for outdoor runs, walks, and hikes,

led by expert instructors on the Peloton app. Call yourself a runner. Peloton all-access membership separate. Learn more at onepeloton.ca slash running. Learn more at onepelest. Okay, right. Just, wow. How the hell, how the hell did they put that together? Because when did they get Captain Tom to wobble that? I don't, to be honest, mate, I don't know what you want me to tell you.

I think it came from some kind of charity thing with some NHS choir and Michael Ball during COVID. Right, okay, yes. So I think he did it for that. So I guess we just slept on it, mate. We never saw it at the time. Part of me, and we will get on to Batch of Bands in a minute, bear with me a sec, but part of me just thinks,

I was saying this to my mum, But part of me just thinks, I was saying this to my mum, like, is it the fact that since Brexit, and I'm not saying everyone who voted Brexit was mad, but everyone who was one of those ravers did vote Brexit, probably. Do you know what I mean? It's one way around, not the other way around. Yeah. But those ones who are

basically just the curtain twitches on your street, are they now running the cul-de-sac? Do you know what I mean? Oh, what? They've been emboldened and now they're in charge. 100%! Large and in charge. So the ones who were just, like I say, the curtain twitches, the annoying ones, oh yeah, so-and-so over the road, yeah.

They're now running the fucking things. And that's why the country seems a lot weirder now isn't it yeah i yeah i think that's fair i think that's any anything the last time i actually believe i actually believe last week two weeks ago whatever anything could have come out of that and it would have been a believable story so for example i just think of one off the top of my head right so um uh there's a massive fight because one bloke disagrees with the other bloke about the best victoria sponge recipe or whatever and that becomes a culture war thing in on in the country that that could easily happen

now yeah all these stories like these culture war type stories are actually totally meaningless in reality are everywhere now but it's but it's it's kind of, as a political tool, all that kind of cultural stuff, I get the sense that it's becoming less and less useful to the ruling party at the moment, you would say. And we've kind of seen that with the reaction to the repeal of the metric system or whatever the fuck they were trying to do.

It's just mad. It's just mad. It's just posturing. It's just silly and stupid. And, you know, obviously people have got bigger problems. So I think that might have gassed out and absolute kleptocrats like Boris Johnson et al are in a bit of trouble.

Well, I mean, we know he's in a bit of trouble. We know that for sure. Mate, let's just get... Speaking of mad stuff, let's just do the batteries, shall we? Let's do the batteries! There's been some good ones, mate. So you read out, I'll search. Okie dokie.

Good afternoon, gents. Batteries are found in a head torch. This is from... Oh, Pete. I was looking at my own name there and got a bit confused. Photon pump! Head torches are amazing fertile ground for this, aren't they? They really are.

It's the head battery we never knew existed. Photon Pump. So five years into this show, we are still finding new batteries. Photon Pump is a new player. Congratulations to you, Pete. Seeing as Pete likes to use pump to mean farts, he'll probably get a kick out of this.

You're right. You're absolutely right, Pete. You're bloody right. I'm right. Luke Casey has come up with a wonderful rhyming. De Se. Luke Casey. De Se. Good morning.

As every Luke and Pete show listener seems to do when they enter a hotel room in a foreign country that has a TV, I immediately flip the remote to see what possible mad battery name could be inside. From Sweden, De Se, classic AAA fare. Here's a photo. I'm hoping for a new player. I think this might be a new player, Luukie Mo.

It's not, I'm afraid. And I'll tell you why. Back in 2017, our friend Dylan Haynes sent in an email because he had been to the supermarket with his wife and it was around the time that we were talking to American listeners about HP sauce. Okay, right. And he said, oh, here's a photo because I bought some HP sauce

and I bought some HP fruity as well in a little shop in a town called High Point, North Carolina. And I remember the email. I looked it up and I ended up replying to him and all sorts. But he included a battery brand in that email and they were Dese batteries. So that's actually been seen before four and a half years ago now. So it's the only other time it's been seen, nonetheless.

But Luke Casey, I'm afraid, you've narrowly missed out on having a new player there. Unlucky, Luke. Unlucky. Two emailers, two messages who have got our names. Joe. Yeah, weird. Hello to Joe. Hey, guys. Love the pod. Fairly into it. So if this isn't a new brand,

sorry about that. But I found these while I was rehabbing a house in Edwardsville, Illinois. No idea what they were for, but here they are. E-Circuit Super Heavy Duty. It's the sort of thing that I sort of think isn't a new player,

but then it might be so obvious that we may have missed it, and then it may never have been sent in before. According to my search, it is indeed a new player. Beautiful. I like to have one in there that's actually new, otherwise I get upset. Photon pump and e-circuit now. Both two new ones for that three.

Interestingly, on the photo that Joe's included, it specifically says on the battery, for high-drain devices. Oh, so it's like nice, kind of like a nice voltage? I don't know. I don't know what a high-drain device is. It's weird, right? They are like standard

1.5 volt batteries by the look of it, but I mean, maybe they're just boasting about how good they are. Cracking. Two new players out of three. Thank you very much for sending those in um always good to um always good to see some new players entering the game um do send some in if you find them um hello at luke and pete show.com and pete should we finish up by doing an email about uh another email about white men can't jump yes or. Or would you rather do a motorcycle email? Let's have white men can't jump, please. So this is from Miles.

Hi guys. Long time listener, first time emailer here. He says, one thing I always took from white men can't jump other than to adjust my free throws for wind direction, of course, was the exchange between Rosie Perez and Woody Harrison about her being thirsty. It's written comically

but it's a conversation i often think of when people are sad or frustrated about things and my natural inclination is trying to help by giving them a suggestion um but she says the following if i'm thirsty i don't want a glass of water i want you to sympathize i want you to say gloria i too know what it feels like to be thirsty i too have had a dry mouth i want you connect to connect with me through sharing and understanding the concept of dry mouthedness solid i remember the scene i remember the scene um he said i i thought given the white man can't jump chat i thought i'd email him about the one that is really one bit that's really proved useful to me concisely sums up something i think a lot of people miss frequently and even if not show fodder i thought you might enjoy the sentiment um so

basically what he's talking about there is don't try and solve people's problems all the time just understand their problems and share in that understanding

he also says in the early days of the show I was listening to an ep and I saw Luke on his way to the crystal maze

in Angel which was then discussed in the show which to me felt like a glitch in the matrix I went there I did crystal maze

in Angel it was quite fun actually me too a lot of fun one thing I've also done and I might have mentioned this in January when I did it is I went to do Life Size Monopoly

Monopoly Life Size on Oxford Street as a present for Christmas and it was dreadful so, right hang on, so Life Size Monopoly, so you're just kind of rolling around, kind of pointing at something,

going, I've just bought that, pointing at the buildings. It's as baffling as you are imagining it is. It's absolutely baffling. I might have said it at the time, proper late-stage capitalism vibes, like really bizarre stuff. Anyone go down to Peckham to do the old Kent Road?

Yeah, at least you don't have to travel all the wayckham to do the old Kent Road yeah you don't like at least you don't have to travel all the way around London to do it properly yeah but it may honestly

I'm under no obligation to try and to criticise people who are working hard at their jobs and stuff and I'm you know it's not easy I get all that

but it I wouldn't recommend it so how did it work I mean I need a little bit more information there's a massive board in the middle of the room. Oh.

A massive... So it wasn't like... You're not running around the streets pointing at... No, it was in a set. Oh, I see. And there's like five teams of fives. There's so many people. Yeah.

You roll a dice, you do a little challenge, but you can't all do the challenge together because the challenges are entirely little rooms that you can't all fit in. Then randomly you're building a fucking Monopoly hotel with a little model kit, and then you're fucking bidding on something that you don't understand,

and then you've got to get as much money as you can, but no one knows how much anyone else has got, and all of a sudden the time's up, and you came fifth. I don't know. Fucking absolutely insane. Who else was it? What kind of...

Was there anybody who looked like they were really enjoying themselves not in my group because they were you misery guts because I didn't

let them but it's also it's also staffed by kind of out of work actors right well they're in work aren't they

well yeah okay fine actors they're just actors and that can work really well the guy who did the crystal maze with us was amazing

he was like I would be very very happy you know if I was a crystal maze enthusiast I would bloody love him to host Actors, they're just actors. And that can work really well. The guy who did the Crystal Maze with us was amazing. He was like proper... I would be very, very happy, you know, if I was a Crystal Maze enthusiast. I would bloody love him to host the actual TV show. He's brilliant. And they all had different flavours as well, which I think was a lovely touch.

Yes, yeah. Anyway, it's just everything that Crystal Maze wasn't. So anyway, I didn't mean to digress. Thank you very much for your email about Whiteman Can't Jump. Miles, very, very kind of you to email in. I think we can all better share an understanding rather than try and solve people's problems and i think that's why pete spent so much time listening to the captain tom morrison to try and get some understanding of what exactly the fuck is going on in britain at the moment they reckon that uh

funeral directors have some kind of study by some, probably like, not Marks and Sparks, probably the Post Office or something. They've done a, tried to find out what the most popular funeral song is. And the news piece in question was talking about it's You'll Never Walk Alone. Very popular song at the funeral, which you can kind of understand that.

But they did put it down to the Michael Ball and Captain Tom duet. It's like, that's not why it's popular. No way. That's not why it's popular. If anything, it's damaged it. I would have thought the most popular funeral song would be My Way. Yeah, that's not bad.

That's not bad. That's going to be up there, surely. But it's like, you know, I did it my way. Like, what did you do? You were an accountant. Yeah, that's cruel though everyone feels everyone's got a right to think they've had led an individual life because they have they're not all renegades on the fringe of the society on the bleeding edge like you talking to people whose hands have fallen off mad max donaldson hanging out with you yeah yeah yeah with your 15 toilets and your no-handed women

you know it's not all like that is it oh lordy sometimes life's just about going to get a cup of tea anyway on that note that's what I'm going to do thank you very much for listening to the show

we'll be back next week as ever really appreciate your company on this fine Thursday be good to yourselves and be good to each other follow Miles' lead and be understanding

Pete any parting words from you before we go? Just watch out for your hands. Keep them on the ends of your wrists, please. Keep an eye on them. Don't take your eyes off them. See you next time. Ta-ta! Ta-ta!

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