The Luke and Pete Show - How many new players?

Episode Date: August 11, 2022

Pete’s doing the show from his parent’s house, yet it’s actually Luke that spends the first half of the show uncovering all his childhood trauma. Things don’t get better for Luke when he finds out that Pete made plans without him last weekend. Thankfully there are some unbelievable scenes in the battery section to cheer him up.Want to contact the show? Email: [e-mail] or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Luke and Pete show. Mine is Pete Donaldson. I'm joined by Mr. Lukey Moore. He's in the studio. I'm at my mum and dad's house. We're having a lovely time. Oh, I didn't realise you were still up at your mum and dad's house. Yeah, well, if my webcam was working, you'd be able to see that I'm up at your mum and dad's house.

I really want to see it. I really want to see it, Peter. And I'm really pleased you're still up there i know you're up there for the weekend and um so we're recording this episode a couple days early so you're not back down yet okay how's it how is it up there what's new uh it's fine um it's quite hard to um actually sit down and type on your laptop when these people who live in this house are just constantly asking me questions like do you want a cup of tea do you want some lemonade do you want some breakfast do you want some food it's really it's a pain in the bum it's just i'm gonna rate this we work uh two out of ten yeah what's the wi-fi like the wi-fi is excellent to be honest the wi-fi i have

access to is wonderful i'm in uh I'm in hog heaven because my dad believes in good internet. And there are certain other people in my life who, when I'm trying to do a show, they don't necessarily have the best internet. And I'm looking at you, Mark Hins, in Highgate. He's got no excuse. He lives in a residential property. He could have excellent broadband, but

he cannot see fit to give himself the pleasure of girthy broadband. I can imagine, actually, and listeners to this will imagine it as well, a huge kind of wedge between you and Stewie Donaldson if he didn't believe in good, fast broadband. My goodness me, what a battleground that would be. Yeah, I mean, we've had a few battlegrounds over the weekend.

What was this morning's one? My dad has an electric shower that he turns on hot for the shower, and then he'll turn it right down to cold and let the water run through to cool it down before he turns it off. And I said, Dad, surely the heating element will be, you know, it won't last as long if you turn it hot and then cold. And he says, it's not actually the heating element. And actually, I have been working in electronics all my life. And the problem with my dad is, and the problem with me is, we've always got our cocks out.

Always got our fucking knobs out. Always think we're being challenged. I thought you were going to say, the problem between me and my dad is that my dad just simply knows more than me. I mean, that is also a big issue as well. So he's been working in electronics all his life, and you're going into his home, his domain, and starting shouting the odds.

I think he's within his rights to run his shower every once in a while. It's his shower. It is his shower, but they also don't flush the toilet very often. Whoa, you can't just throw that out there. After wheeze, my dad will not flush the toilet because he thinks it wastes water. He's absolutely right, but, I mean, isn't that one of those environmentally friendly things

that everyone sort of talks about but never actually does because that's actually a bit disgusting? Yeah, I'm very much in the... I didn't know how strongly I'd feel about it, but, yeah, it's pretty rough. Have you been to the boozer with the old man or not? I had a quick game of pool with him yesterday on the way back from Newcastle when I was very hungover

and I actually beat him for the first time, I think, ever. He must be terrible. I'm all right at pool. The problem with my pool game is that I'm very much like when you watch me play darts. I'm very impatient. I just want it over and done with. It's not even just that. It is partly that.

And this is definitely a little further glimpse into the character of Pete Donaldson, is that you are impatient, but you also can't resist trying to change the parameters in some way. So what I mean by that is, if we play darts together, you'll go and stand somewhere else and throw the darts at the dartboard. I can imagine if you're playing pool together, I imagine after about three shots, you turn the cue around, just hit it with the other end or something, because you're bored of what society has decided the rules of pool should be.

Yeah. Do you know what I mean? I'm very much like that man who turns up in the doubles in, uh, that is an Iranian man who turns up and does trick shots at Wimbledon. Oh yeah. He's quite old now, isn't he?

Yeah. When's he going to be able to stop doing, when's he going to stop learning new tricks? Cause I mean, you can't turn up with the new, with the same tricks every time, can he? For me,

that's kind of interesting cause I hate tennis. Yeah. And I hate people who try and make entertainment out of tennis and make people like tennis and please the crowd at tennis right yeah um but then this guy is actually to be fair to him i don't know how he does it he kind of still does it now even though he's quite old and to be fair he should have the reputation that cliff richard has got. Why? Because he's trying to make it more interesting. Because he's genuinely a tennis entertainer. Right. So basically, he's Bane.

Yeah. And Cliff Richard has merely adopted the darkness. Yeah. This guy was born in it. Yeah, but Cliff Richard, he's distracting people from the tennis, I think. I don't think he's got a love for tennis at all. He's the man who sort of just says, look what I can do. It's like turning up to... True, actually. So maybe he's taking it down from the inside it's like turning up to a job

in a factory like you know i don't know you're working on a printing press or something and then you just start getting you getting your little beanbags out and starting juggling look what i can do it's like this isn't what that's for go home he's um he's a um he's called apparently he's called uh mansor barami this guy. Mansour Barami. It's the kind of attitude towards the sport that means he's only won two of the 12 finals he's got to in his career. Exactly.

That's what I like about him. He clearly doesn't care enough to be good at it. Turned pro in 1974. Good God. He's given his life to the game. I bet. He should have much more than fucking Cliff Richard's got. I bet he used to play with,

like people who've played games like that for such a long time must be so excited about, because like football, you know, footballers in the 70s had to deal with like really heavy balls

and like that was the big thing, wasn't it? It was really heavy. The tackles were heavier. It was this completely different game. But like, imagine like a tennis racket, like how different

that must feel in your hands. Oh, I remember. I remember. I mean, this would be what? Probably early 90s. You go to my granddad's and my nan and granddad's and they had a nice big back garden. Yeah. And you could play a bit of tennis.

And my granddad would be like, yeah, yeah, I'll get the tennis rackets out so you can play tennis or whatever. And he would literally get all the old wooden ones. Yeah. And you're like, what is this? And the surface area of the tennis racket, the actual racket bit, was probably the size of a circular Kit Kat.

And that might be why I hate tennis now, actually. Because I was just put into a situation which made tennis impossible for me. None of my family members also gave me any quarter when it came to sports either. What, they were very competitive? That doesn't surprise me. So, you know, for example, they used to set up a cricket thing in the back garden at my

granddad's house. And it's quite, I mean, it's probably one of those gardens, because he doesn't live there anymore. It's probably one of those gardens that actually, to me as an eight-year-old, was like massive, but it's probably not that big now. Anyway, so my dad, my granddad granddad and my uncle and we play cricket and honestly one of the memories i have from the late 80s of being like eight years old is my granddad and my uncle who played like competitive cricket right my uncle my uncle i remember i vividly remember my uncle

he's passed on now but he was a brilliant sportsman he he had trials at southampton he didn't want to play for him because he's a massive Pompey fan uh I'm not saying he could have been a pro footballer but he was a good football player he played like county level squash and he played cricket at a local level but good enough where he would like hit like centuries and stuff he was good at cricket right and he would have been when I was eight he would have been probably about his mid-30s right so you're probably talking Pete for a cricketer I remember him fucking fizzing in like steaming in

like I'm fizzing the ball down and it's sometimes just hitting me and everyone's thinking it's hilarious Luke is this why you were

very upset with me throwing the ball too hard at rounders last week no because you were doing that at younger members of staff and it was beneath you

is what I think and you can come back on that all you want, but you know what you did. It just sounds like you're scared of my whips. Yeah, but I mean, like, it's the only way you learn, Loki. It's true, but I didn't learn anything, did I? I just learned, oh yeah, it's the only way I'll learn

what a fucking cricket ball buzzing past your head at fucking 60 miles an hour when you're eight years old looks like. To be fair to them, they did use a tennis ball, not a cricket ball. Oh, good i know but the other thing was that um which kind of annoyed me a bit is that if you got out which would happen all the time you wouldn't get another go oh what they wouldn't they wouldn't sort of go easy on you get out on the field some now you've had your chance i just like that i just like the fact that actually fizzle balls at you. But again, I completely agree. I think it's the only way you learn.

I'm enjoying the image of a little Lukey Moa in his best cricket whites getting tennis balls absolutely churched at him. I didn't have cricket whites, mate. I was in a shorts and t-shirt. I also remember my uncle and my grandad getting in a row about a badminton game in the back garden

because they both played badminton quite competitively as well and involving them like rolling into a massive bush at the side of their of the um garden right like wrestling but you but you'd like you they would have been younger than you are now and you're still up for a wrestle aren't you still up for a silliness you can't well you can't wrestle anything you can't wrestle anything these days. You can't wrestle anything these days. But I think with your, I just always remember the only activity my dad ever did was running down the street.

He'd sort of go, let's have a race, and he'd run down the street. And he'd absolutely pan us because he's a dad-sized man. Race him now.

Well, so mean. Do you reckon he'd be going for it now and now he's got no knees? Just literally walk into the living room now and he's rubbing your hands

until they go, oh, those chickens have come home to reap my house, Stuart. See you outside in five. I'm exactly your age when you challenge me to a race, Dad. Let's do it. Let's do this.

What else has been the highlight of the visit home? Because you don't visit back up home that often. Are your family still living in the same house that they lived in when you lived there? No, house no we we had we had about i think i think we were on the run a little bit but we had three or four houses uh we had three or four houses uh in hartlepool because we try to get in the good catchment area at school uh and then by the time we uh achieved the best school well no exactly just generally it didn't but by the time we got

to the uh good school uh the good school had become the worst school and the worst school had become the best school that we'd ran away from. So good stuff. Did that happen exactly as you left one school gate and walked into another? There's a common denominator here. There was an Ofsted man with the clipboard walking behind me going,

yep, this has gone to the fucking dogs almost immediately. I'm not saying I was a bad student, but I had my own Ofsted man. So what other kind of areas of dispute have there been? Have you been nice to your lovely mum?

Been nice to my lovely mum. My mum is lovely. She's just very caring. They're very keen for me not to drive after 5pm for some reason. They're very hot on that. Anyone who's seen you can probably empathise with that.

Please empathise. I think Finn, I think young Finn from the producers of The Ramble posted a video of you leaving our office in your car the other day saying you were driving up to the North East. Yeah. And there's so many responses on Twitter about that. What were they saying? Oh, just put my car back in the garage.

Got a couple of errors to run, but I think I'll leave it until tomorrow. Well, Finn, when we were driving towards the, after the sports day, Finn actually

kind of forgot what, he didn't forget where he was, but he just went, we were approaching a pelican crossing and Finn, who was in my car,

went, stop. He sort of went, he car, went, stop. He sort of went, stop. He wanted to say, that's a zebra crossing. I was in full control. I knew exactly that. That's the one thing they say you should do is stop at a pelican crossing. And yeah, I was prepared to stop.

Do you mean pelican crossing or zebra crossing? Oh, sorry, zebra crossing. I mean, you should stop sometimes at pelican crossing. Because this is starting to unravel quicker than I could ever imagine. He said, please stop. He said, stop. And then he said, sorry, I'm a terrible backseat driver. I don't think he is.

I just think he knows. I just think I come with a certain amount of baggage when it comes to seeing me behind the wheel. Can Finn actually drive himself? He's got a bee, hasn't he? I'd like to see him in a tiny car, though, driving it. A little smart car. Oh, yeah, because he's massive, yeah. He'd be like that scene in The Simpsons, hasn't he? But I'd like to see him in a tiny car, though, driving it. A little smart car. Oh, yeah, because he's massive, yeah.

He'd be like that scene in The Simpsons, wouldn't he? So when you said that your family keep him, interrupt a new offer, a new breakfast, what would that breakfast entail if you'd accepted that offer? A lot of croissants. My mum's big into croissants. What? What do you mean?

A lot of croissants? Just a lot of croissants, yeah. I went to, my mum was talking about air fryers and she's spoken a couple of times about air fryers.

She'd probably all blocked you, wouldn't you? Well, I just went and bought them the same air fryer as mine and I think they're

quite happy with it. So they love little ovens. They've got two little ovens now. Brilliant. And are your mum and dad still on? Long term listeners of the Luke and Pete show will know that your mum

and dad famously operate a shift system in their home where your dad gets to run the house at night and your mum gets to run the house during the day. Is that still the case? Yeah, as I was going to bed my dad was getting up and that was about half eleven last night. That's, yeah. Hang on, that's even, that's changed, that's got even worse then. That's proper nocturnal isn't it? So what time does he

go to bed? About six o'clock in the evening. When he gets up at 11... Because he was going to bed early before, but getting up at about two, wasn't he? Yeah, yeah. Now he barely makes that anymore, to be honest. So now he's getting up before it's even midnight?

Yeah, pretty much, yeah. I'd love... Your dad, I mean, he's keeping odd hours, and then there's basically trying to turn on its head thousands of years of western civilizations like operating system what the fuck is he doing anti-oxide for it but i think i i think like when you're a shift worker and you did nights for a lot of your life i think there's a certain allure to sort of being up at night but not having to be anywhere and sort of gone this is my this is my kind of territory but i um i brought him home a uh an illegal streaming uh solution for his uh amazon fire stick and you

didn't actually but if you had imagine if you had done that and then now tarry just carried on the story what do you mean as in yeah sorry yeah so i hadn't done that i've done any of that um and uh my so no sooner was that, I wanted to watch the Friday night Crystal Palace match because I'd just arrived and I was like, right, I'll get this, I'll get in another world that's not this world, bizarro world, Donaldson installed some software onto his fire stick.

Diggory. Diggory, yes, he's my Tyler Durden. Diggory put some software in his fire stick and that was a whole, it's his whole thing. He was very angry that I was doing this and that. Yeah, but what I don't think you understand, and I'm always very respectful of this when it comes to my parents and my lovely in-laws as well,

is that you're on their territory. You've got to be respectful. You've got to ask permission for that kind of stuff. It's not your home. I did ask permission, but I said, look said look dad can i do this thing he says yes and then and then he just watches me and then he just gets terribly upset when i'm clicking buttons that say do you allow this this piece of software to make changes to your anyone who knows you can picture you being exactly the same yeah no but i think but but but how it's

just wonderful how angry he was and how upset everyone was in the house and then when he saw what crap films from the 1960s he had access to after I'd installed

this solution. He was all over it, was he? He was, oh, oh Luke, he even wrote out a little post-it note

and left me a note on my bed when I went to sleep. That's how pleased he was. Thank you for this, I can now watch 2001 Space Odyssey. I was like, Dad,

you could probably watch that anywhere. That's probably what he's doing to get up at 11.30 at night. About 16 hours long. It's a Donaldson Odyssey. I need to get up in the middle of the night. I'll never squeeze this movie in otherwise. I think I've probably told this joke before. There's a really great line in Saxondale where he says he wants to go to the cinema to watch the director's cut

of 2001 A Space Odyssey because apparently it's an extra 40 minutes in the middle and he just says, I'm just interested to see how that's physically possible So you've got the fire stick, did you and your old man watch the Crystal Pirates Arsenal game? We watched a bit of it, yeah, and then on Sunday we watched the Man City West Ham game? We watched a bit of it yeah and then on Sunday we watched the

Man City West Ham match. That was a lot of fun. Did you take him to St James' Park or not? No I offered.

I'd bought really fancy tickets to Liverpool, New Castle sort of back in the last year but I couldn't go because it was Covid but

the company very kindly sorted me out with a voucher and it was burning a hole in my pocket, so I thought, right, I'll do the Newcastle Forest match. But it was like in the poshest part. You know, St. James's doesn't do

amazing corporate hospitality, I've heard, but this was about as posh as it was getting really. Who were you with then? So, well, I had a spare ticket, and literally no one wanted it. No, I'm all right, thanks. I asked all... I'm okay, thanks.

Well, you were never going to come up all the way in your castle. So the people I asked were Tom Wally. Tom, who helps out on Stack. You asked Tom Wally ahead of me. He's a Forest fan, isn't he? 15 years man and boy with this nonsense for you. And then you asked Tom fucking Wally, who you only know through me, before you asked me.

Well, he's a Forest fan. Anyway, he was busy... Yes, but without me, you ask me. Well, he's a Forrest fan anyway. He was busy. Yes, but without me, you wouldn't even know he existed. He wanted to hang out with Hughie Morgan on the radio, so he couldn't do that. To be fair,

it was my wife's birthday. Well, exactly. You're never going to make that make your way all the way up there. No, but you're going to do, because that's what she asked for for her birthday. But we got in there.

What's the furthest away you can get in England? I'm much imposter. So who did you go with away you can get in England? I imagine Boston. So who did you go with? Who did you go with? I went with a guy called Brian who... Just a guy called Brian. It's such a slap in the face.

What do you mean? I can't believe you've done this. Just a guy called Brian. It's the famous NUFC threat level on Twitter. He's very funny. He got his Twitter page taken off him, but he wrote a letter to Twitter and he got it back again eventually.

So you basically went you went to the game with a Twitter troll ahead of me he's probably been slagging me off on Twitter he was he wasn't a Twitter troll

he just he posted some good stuff but then he accidentally he didn't accidentally he posted some old FA Cup footage and that got him

in the sin bin for nine months oh that's what do you remember dear old Charlie did that and when he first old Charlie did that? First job Charlie had with us was running the On The Consonant

European football account. And he posted, I think he posted some footage of the Serie A game, which to be fair was widely available from loads of different accounts. And literally his first action

with us when he started his job was to get the Twitter account banned. It's good stuff. To say he was meek in breaking the news to us is a massive understatement

but he's still here so there's a lesson there yeah and that is that we will take anyone we are limited in our options no

recruitment is hard you pick yourself up again so look I've had the disappointment of not being invited to St James' Park a stadium I've never actually been to

for a game oh really with me old pal Donny but you know got to move on. Speaking of Crystal Palace, I live close enough to the

area of Crystal Palace as well as Selhurst Park to have been treated to an entire Richard Ashcroft gig on Saturday night from my spare bedroom window. How is he playing Crystal Palace? The whole place? What I was about to say. Not as good as

it sounds. The wife I have access to's contribution to this concert was walking into the spare room where I was playing on my PlayStation, saying what's that noise? That was Richard Ashcroft. And she left the room again, walked back into the living room, closed every window

and carried on watching telly. What is that? I did hear he played a lot of classic Verve songs. Right, okay. So I don't really know how he was able to do the whole Crystal Palace Bowl, but I suppose he's just very popular, is he? I mean, with a certain generation, with a certain haircut,

one would speculate, but I think with... I just cannot believe he's playing the whole bloody thing. Are you sure it just wasn't like one stand or something? It was a part of a festival called South Facing Festival. Ah. And he played

on Saturday night. Right. Supported by Ride. Oh. And Steve Lemack and Alan Magee did a DJ set. Good God. That is... So those people who would go into that, you say they're people of a certain age, but what's...

The interesting thing about that, though, Peter, is what? They've all got a bit of money now, haven't they? Who have? Those people. The people who grew up listening to Richard Ashcroft in the 90s have all got a bit of money now. I'm trying to find who was on the South Facing Festival apart from those two acts you mentioned.

Well, four acts you mentioned. But they're not being particularly explanatory. It's not a festival I've actually even ever heard of. It's just like a video. It just says what the partners are. Brewdog, Coca-Cola Zero Sugar, a Dirty Hard Seltzer, and the Crystal Palace Park Trust.

But it doesn't seem to... There are so many festivals these days because they have wireless there now as well, don't they? Right, okay. A couple of weeks ago... I remember, it might have been a year or so ago now, I think it was wireless, it was at Crystal Palace, and I remember

I didn't know it was on, and I remember being in my living room and hearing an almighty kerfuffle, like a massive noise. And I later found out, I think it was... I might and hearing an almighty kerfuffle, like a massive noise. And I later found out, I think it was, I might have some of the detail wrong here, but Nicki Minaj was playing and she brought out Drake. Right, okay.

That's an exciting surprise. And people lost their fucking minds. Yeah. And I heard that from my house. But, Peter, listen, my life is nothing else if not being living in positions where you can hear music festivals at certain places at certain times of year. Because when I grew up on the South Coast, when my parents got a little bit of money, when I got into my late teens,

and I was just about to leave for uni, but I was there for maybe a summer, you could hear the Isle of Wight Festival from their house. How? What? Really? Yeah, across the Solent. You could, honestly. I promise you. Did you? I mean, I guess so. Are you sure it wasn't at Creamfields? That seems like a louder festival. At least... Well, isn't Creamfields near Liverpool?

Oh, no, I think there's something else. What's the one... There's a dance festival over in... Homelands, maybe? Yeah, one of them. Oh, no, that's not on... None of them are on Isle of Wight, are they? Yeah, there's another one.

Is it not Creamfields? I thought it was... There was, like, a famous one that I always thought was... I always thought it was somewhere else, and it was like, oh, it turns out it was there. thought was, I always thought was somewhere else and it was like, oh, it turns out it was there. I'm pretty sure it was the Isle of Wight Festival.

Anyway, anyway, let's have a break, Peter, because we've been rambling on for a long time. When we come back, we'll give people some more of this stuff, shall we? Maybe you can tell us

a little bit about, I don't know, your favourite room in your parents' home. Okay, cool. Lovely. Welcome back to The Luke of Pete Shaw.

It is a Thursday. So, so of course we are going to be going through your favorite uh little energy cells that live inside your bits of electronics the battery the common organ battery if you found an interesting battery that you've never seen anywhere else the brand i mean um not a weirdly shaped one there has to be like a double A or a D cell or a double C or whatever a normal battery just get in touch take a picture

get in touch and let's see if we can find some new players Dave has got in touch hello looking at the Pete Huang Bo doing some life saving in this heat it's pictured in a handheld fan but are they a new player

the Huang Bao Huang Bao Huang Bao they are a new But are they a new player? The... Huang Bao. Huang Bao. They are a new player. Are they now? Remarkable. Huang Bao sounds like, sounds actually quite delicious. Like it might be filled with gravy and pork and stuff. I don't ever remember hearing

about. No. I've never ever heard of them. No. I don't think it's a big brand. Joy from Singapore has got in touch. Here's a pack of batteries I found in my storeroom I hope there's another new player on your list

cheers Joy from Singapore top value alkaline top value alkaline top value alkaline

I think they're a new player as well just double checking yeah they are they're a new player too that's crazy that's absolutely insane that we're still finding them I thought top value we'd seen before but clearly not I'm just double checking. Yeah, they are. They're a new player too. That's crazy. Absolutely insane that we're still finding them.

I thought top value we'd seen before but clearly not. Hello to Tom. Uniros Hybrio. Hello gents. Long time listener. First time attending

a new battery brand locator. I opened my daughter's digital thermometer to change the batteries and I was confronted with the Uniros Hybrio battery. It's absolutely remarkable. This is another new player.

That's a hat-trick. That's new? We rarely get three. That's well done. Unbelievable, isn't it? Congratulations to Dave, Joy, and Tom. Just glorious. How are we still finding these new ones after all this time?

It's pretty insane. Incredible stuff. Presumably you couldn't find any kind of good consumer electronics around your parents' house then, because your dad seems like he might be of the type. Yeah, he picks up quite a lot of stuff randomly from pound shops, so there's probably... Oh, I mean, yeah, there's loads of stuff around here.

Let's see if I can find... There's usually a little calculator kicking around. Oh, this is great. Live? A live rummage? Yeah. Calculator here. What's the... Oh, this is great. Live? A live rummage? Yeah. Well, I'm going to calculate here. What's the... Oh, it's your friend and mine, solar-powered.

Oh. And you bought some good Sports Direct-branded electronic what the other day, didn't you? Oh, the big battery... Massive calculator. I think that might be powered by the sun as well. God bless the sun. Listen, apparently it's the future.

That's why I'm hearing. By the way, can I just change tack slightly in a Luke and Pete show style and say that what did you make of the fact that I found somebody on Facebook Marketplace this week who was selling cockroaches that he had painted designs on the back of? I didn't realise that that was your Facebook marketplace. Someone was just doing that on your marketplace? No, it was a screenshot of it.

Oh, right, okay, cool. I mean, good God. It's beautifully done, but I mean, are they alive still? Presumably not. Presumably they're shells slash wings, whatever the fuck they are. I'm only paying top dollar if they're alive.

But you can't really... Surely they must use them to breathe. Like, surely they must be instantly dead. What, the shell? They must be doing something through it, surely. A lot of insects breathe through their shells, don't they? Do they? I don't know. I'm just saying it.

I like it as an idea. If they don't, they bloody well should have thought of that because that's a very good idea. I don't want any cruelty to animals to happen, of course. I don't know what the kind of threshold level for cockroaches and pain and that kind of stuff is. I know there's some kind of measurement for that. Oh, is there? But if you are, what I'm saying is this.

If you're able to humanely paint Tom Holland as Spider-Man on the back of a cockroach's shell in a beautifully rendered way and the cockroach doesn't in a beautifully rendered way and and the cockroach doesn't mind yeah what harm has been done the um i very much like the fact that one of the um drawings was i mean out of all of the marvel characters is spider-man marvel yeah why is it always marvel why are they always in everything fucking marvel why are they always doing this um why uh has he is one of the characters Dr. Ock, of all things? Yeah.

Like, of all of the characters? And that's a, you know, because he famously had a big clockwork spider, didn't he? Yeah.

Hmm. No, octopus. Was it an octopus? Dr. Ock is short for Dr. Octopus, isn't it? It sounds right,

doesn't it? You see? Yeah. Sounds about right, doesn't it? Yeah. I know what he is. it? You see? Yeah. Sounds about right, doesn't it? Yeah. I know what he is. What?

He's a spider. Well, he looks like one. But I don't even know if it's real. I just saw it online and I thought, I'm at the age now where I don't know

if anything on the internet is real or not. No, it's difficult. So, who knows? I mean, if you've seen it, you know where to come. Hello at LukeandPeach.com. You can also, obviously,

head to that destination for your batteries as well. I just thought it was off note that someone, you know had thought to do that um i think there might even be an argument say for example if you customized and humanized say insects like a cockroach for long enough i think there might be an evolutionary benefit to that what if you kept painting... Because people wouldn't want to kill them. Well, maybe, yeah. So maybe it would help them in the long run if they

looked like they were infringing copyright, Marvel copyright. Is Marvel really going to bring a claim for that? I don't know. How litigious are they? I think I've been watching a lot with my mum over the weekend. I was watching a lot of WhatsApp program where they're at the airport

and the security staff just go through Chinese people's luggage and say, well, you're not allowed to bring that in. You're not allowed to bring that in. Yeah. Good job, that, I reckon. I don't know what it is about people going into this airport in Sydney, but they love bringing in seeds and bits of leaves and stuff. Yeah.

Like, that looks bad. Don't just bring in random leaves, guys. Yeah. They always seem to be, those border force type programs always seem to be based in Australia. I think they're particularly kind of strong on it. They're very strong on it.

I think they've probably got the more stringent rules on the flora and fauna rules because they are very specific. It would be a be a good job though wouldn't it would you like that job um yeah because i like a good rifle it's a bit like a car boot in it really it's going through people's shit going you're not like a little rummage yeah um i'd like to do it with a little sniffer dog as well so i had a little dog with me yeah it's yeah it's decent but you should never pet them the um i very much... There was this guy who was like... He was an Australian Aborigine,

but he was also... He was coming back from Israel, and he had like a... Is it yarmulke? The Jewish hat. Yeah. He was like a Jewish Aboriginal Aborigine. Like, that was like...

I don't know how that works, because it's a very modern... Isn't the hat called a kippah? Do you mean the actual hat? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What, so he was an aboriginal? He was aboriginally Jewish? Yeah.

I was like, how has that happened? I was like, what's going on here then? What was he trying to bring in? He'd brought in some potpourri, which I was like, why is this the 80s? Come on. He's bringing in potpourri, and they said, look, there's a forbidden seed in there. You're not allowed that. Good knowledge, to be fair.

Good to see someone across their breed. Exactly, yeah. And the guy said, look, people bring in potpourri every day. There's always something bad in it, so we always got to take it. But then the other stuff he was bringing in, he was just bringing in leaves, leaves that clearly had absolute rot all over them. They'd clearly been absolute rot.

And I was like, mate, if they catch you with that, like, oh, good, I've got some dirty old leaves. Brilliant. Also, you don't need a sniffer dog to get the potpourri. No, exactly. Yeah, you just need a mam. Sniff yourself. Get a mam.

Mams can always detect potpourri. Yeah, exactly. I can remember where this used to happen with comical frequency. We used to go to an Indian restaurant there where I grew up, me and my pals. And we used to love a ruby. And back then, you would go up to the counter to pay, I suppose, because they didn't have a card machine or whatever, because it was back in the day, so you'd go up there to pay.

And so there'd be three or four of you or whatever, and they would have a bowl of potpourri on the counter, and it was obviously like Indian-themed or Bangladeshi-themed or whatever, but it was a fragrant kind of potpourri. And it would be containing flowers and seeds and stuff that you wouldn't necessarily see every day, because it was an Indian version of it. And every single time, without fail, my mate would think it was sweets and put one in his mouth and be like, oh, I thought that was an alpha-dinamite.

It's like, every fucking time you do this, stop putting it in your mouth. What a terrible offer, though. It's disgusting. Yeah, 100% the kind of guy who'd get a soap from Lush and go, I've got to see what that tastes like. Basically you. I'm talking about you, basically. You've 100% done that of guy who'd get a soap from Lush and go, I've got to see what that tastes like. Basically you. I'm talking about you, basically. You've 100% done that.

Yeah, definitely. But speaking of that, by the way, before we go, I can't remember where I read this, but, you know, so have you heard the story that McDonald's, they pump a certain smell through the vents. Right. That you think it's the smell of burgers, but it's actually a kind of designed artificial smell to make you kind of want to buy food right

so it does smell like food it smells like burgers but it's not the fresh smelling of the burgers being cooked it's just being pumped through right i found out the other week and people are listening can kind of give me some more information on this put some meat on the bones because i can't fully remember the source now it literally just came to me that on this, put some meat on the bones, because I can't fully remember the source now. It literally just came to me. That every shop does that. Every shop on the high street pumps smells into their store, because it's like they're so evocative of... I'll tell you where I might have heard it.

It might have been on Eureka, and I might have looked it up afterwards. But basically every high street store worth its salt now, even if it's a very subtle fragrance that you wouldn't even necessarily notice, is being pumped out into shops to make you feel relaxed or open or to buy in stuff and all that kind of thing.

And apparently the biggest exception is Lush, who basically just do pump, basically their stuff smells so strongly that it's just there. Do you not think... Isn't that interesting? Is that why... A little bit manipulative.

Yeah, massively. And is it not... Is this why like Maplans went, because they just couldn't find a smell? Just lithium. Just a smell of solder. Yes, it would just smell of solder. Only people like you liked it.

You're like one of those cartoon dogs smelling the butchers. Just being led by your nose into maplings. Wit-woo. Anyway, let's get out of here, Peter. We'll come back on Monday. We hope people have a lovely weekend. Thank you for sending in your battery brands.

I can't believe we had a hat-trick of new players this week. First time for ages, but it does go to show you that this, although ostensibly it looks like a completely boring and pointless feature, is still relevant and important and the cornerstone to good broadcasting everywhere. We will be back on Monday. Have a lovely weekend. Peter, what have you got planned? What have I got planned this weekend?

I will go to Leicester for a day. Oh, good. There we go. We'll hear about that on Monday, I'm sure. See you again soon. Take it easy. All the best. Lots of love to you and the family.

Bye bye. Take it easy. All the best. Lots of love to you and the family. Bye-bye. The Luke and Pete Show is a Stack Production and part of the Acast Creator Network.