The Luke and Pete Show - I drink Prime

Episode Date: February 27, 2023

Pete’s 41, wearing a heart monitor, had a recent near-death experience in the ocean... and he’s drinking a bottle of Prime!If Prime isn't uncool now then I don’t think it ever will be.A massive thanks to our listener Noah for sending us our first case of Prime. The revolution starts here - join us!Want to join the revolution? Email: [e-mail] or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the local peach show It's a Monday And it is the 27th of February Which is a date that really sticks in my head But not very well Because I don't know what it pertains to It's not your birthday is it? Nah

It's my dad's birthday on the 30th. 70! Wow! 70. Great. Refuses to celebrate it. So you're not going to do anything to mark it? Nope.

Send him a fancy rat? I was going to turn up. I'm just going to drive up. I said, look, why don't we book a little Airbnb in York? Just jump in a taxi. Yeah. Get down. We'll just stay in the Airbnb for the weekend.

And we'll celebrate my dad's 70th but he's he gave that idea short shrift so now I've got to drive fucking five hours instead of meeting us halfway is York halfway?

no even then I was driving for four hours what was the reason for him not wanting to celebrate? because he's a bellend is your mum is your mum

do we detect your mum's doing in all this? she doesn't want to do anything I'll do something no I think he used to make her do stuff but yeah it's just a bit of a they just don't do anything

I'm sure other people out there have the same sort of situation the more I go on the more I feel really fortunate to have my parents because they're quite sensible, quite liberal they like doing stuff, they go on holiday I'm going down to go for lunch with them later this week really fortunate to have my parents because they're quite sensible, quite liberal. They like doing stuff. They go on holiday. Like, I'm going down to go for lunch with them

later this week. And they're up for it. They'll book it. They're like, yeah, we'll go here. It'll be great. And they do theatre stuff. They didn't vote for Brexit. It's good.

Good stuff. Yeah. I'm going to see, I'm going to the theatre tomorrow evening. Are you really? I'm going to go and see the meatloaf

battle of hell. You're being serious? Who are you going with? Who am I going with? Sarah.

Why are you going? She's got free tickets. I'll get better out of here. I'll be gone in the morning.

That's better there than what it will be like. I don't know what. I mean, I can't believe. I don't want to be

rude, but if someone offered me free tickets, I would say no. Yeah, but I'll go and it'll be brilliant. You know what these things are like. We get sniffy about them and we go, it's like, no, it's fucking brilliant. You're right. Guaranteed it'll be brilliant. The people who.

But right now I'm going. Why are we doing this? Why are we doing this? The people who perform on the West End stage are, without question and without exception, incredible. They're so talented. And sometimes in this kind of job, we go up on stage and we do what we do. And sometimes we go and do these kind of shows and people like the shows and they're popular. And you start to seduce yourself sometimes to think you're quite talented.

Then you go and watch that and you go, fucking hell. We try to block out a song that had three four verses in it me you Marcus and Jim and Jim fucked that up

in Leeds I didn't it was actually Sheffield Sheffield yeah I fucked that story up didn't I I never fucked up

I never I never fucked up mate the only regret I never fucked up then fine no you didn't you didn't the only regret about never fucked up then fine no you didn't you didn't the only regret

about that tour is you not let me be in that vape shop in Northampton I was talking about coils and you dragged me out of there you and your coils

anyway it's the Luke and Pete show there's only one place to start actually no there isn't only one place to start the main event

we're going to come on to in a second but before we do that eagle eared listeners eagle eared wolf eared listeners if eagle-eared? Wolf-eared listeners, if you like. Are eagles like wolves?

Because you see their optic nerve if you look through their ear. Can you? You certainly can with owls. Sorry, not wolves, owls. Fucking, why do you make it so hard for me? Well, why would I compare an eagle to a wolf? You just did. You couldn't remember the day with the sickness of that stern. That was embarrassing.

Last week. I'm pleased. I'm actually quite gutted that wasn't edited out because that's not really good for my personal brand. But anyway, we are going to come to the main event in a minute. But eagle-eared, wolf-eared, whatever-eared, cat-eared listeners will remember. Dog-eared.

Dog-eared. There you go, dog-eared. I'm a dog-eared listener. Yeah. We'll remember that last week, Peter made a remarkable claim on the show as it pertained to his dog and not eating chocolate

that it was difficult to take his dog for a walk around Easter because you quote, always find chocolate in the street. Always chocolate in the street. I never thought that was a thing. Yeah. We put a poll out on the Luke and Pete Show Twitter account, at Luke and Pete

Show, saying, is Pete right? And you'll be pleased to know, Peter, the options were yes, Pete's right, and no, Pete's mad again. Right. How many percentage vote do you reckon, no, Pete's not right, he's mad again, got? I reckon I'm 60% right. Okay, you're 16% right. Am I?

83% of people said you're mad. They never see're 16% right. Am I? 83% of people said you're mad you never see chocolate in the street. They're not looking down close enough. I think we should get people to we should brief people now when Easter comes around, look more closely at the street. And you will see and then we'll run another poll. More chocky at your feet.

Do you remember when you said that you trusted the street? I trusted the street, yeah. Do our listeners know that story? Possibly. I you said that you trusted the street? I trusted the street, yeah. Do our listeners know that story? Possibly. I just said that I would... Were we talking about legal highs? I think we were talking about herbal highs or something. You're not going to tell it right,

because the way you told it was so funny. Right. We were in Naples, and we were out on the piss, and we were talking about the propensity for young people these days to take legal highs. Yeah. And I was being belligerent on purpose, saying, oh, the youth of today, you know, haven't even got the nuts

to have a proper illegal drug, et cetera, et cetera, as a joke, which all the young people around me thought was very boring, I'm sure. And then you said, in quite a whimsical way, looking out the window of a taxi,

right, why would you trust the pharmaceutical industry anyway? I trust the street. I do. I've always said that. And it was so good. Everyone just thought it was so good. On trust the street. I do. I've always said that. It was so good. Everyone just thought

it was so good. On me lime bike. Yeah. It was brilliant, man. Do you still trust the street? I still trust the street. Not when there's chocolate on it. Not with the influx of fentanyl.

No, exactly. That's not a problem in the UK though, is it? I don't know. I thought it was more of a US thing, wasn't it? Yeah, probably. Big country, isn't it?

Big opioid crisis. It's a big country. Big opioid crisis. Anyway, so big country. Big opioid crisis. Anyway, so that was the intro. That was the flim-flam. That was the Twitter poll. That was the flotsam and jetsam

of the conversational tide, if you like. Do you want me to throw a little something in there for two minutes? Go for it. I went to a passing out parade

of a police dog. Fucking hell. For fuck's sake. Last week. Last week I went to a passing out parade for a police dog. First of all, what does that mean? Police dogs have to be trained. They pass their training.

They pass their training. But they get a dedicated day. And they get a day where the chief inspector comes down and they do a little display. And a DJ plays some tunes for them. And they just sort of, they do a little display and a DJ plays some tunes for them and they just sort of do a passing out parade like Police Academy. That's brilliant. But do they not have the same day as the actual police officers? They have their own day?

They have their own day for the dogs. How many dogs? I think there's six dogs passing out. That's brilliant. There's one dog that was being real naughty. That's brilliant. So they'll have like men running around with those

bits of carpet around their arms and the dogs will jump up and grab them yeah that's great there was one man who ran around

dressed as spider man which I don't think was really part of it to be honest I think he was just trying to entertain the kids who were down there

one man with a gun waving a gun around shooting it bang bang bang in the air and the dog takes him down how does the dog takes him down. How does the dog take him down?

Just by calling for his arm. Fuck, that's so cool. Always the arm. There was an Alan Partridge montage on one of his shows about that, and it was really good. Good stuff. But yeah,

they did the passing out parade. Sarah is a patron of that charity, and she tweets about it and Instagrams about it and stuff. But we had met this dog a few times. She named one of the dogs. Oh, right. What did she name him?

A TV presenter who does history stuff. I don't really recognise him. Another person who does Formula One. Another person also does Formula One. And another person who does... Oh, it's Q out of James Bond. Ben Whishaw? No, who's the other one?

John Cleese? Who's Q? John Cleese? No. It is John Cleese. Who's the boss of James Bond Ben Whishaw no who's the other one John Cleese who's Q John Cleese no who's the boss who's the boss of James Bond Judi Dench Judi Dench is one of them

M she's M M it's fucking letters isn't it yeah fucking why are you like this why are you like this

she was there she wasn't there at the passing up prayer but she was there at the first bit I thought she was having trouble with her sight she was

she's very very doddery and all now but she seemed pretty nice and she's a d thought she's had trouble with her sight, isn't she? She was. She's very, very doddery and all now, but she seemed pretty nice. She's a dame. She's a dame with a real. She's a dame. Yeah, but she named one of the dogs.

It was a very nice day. And so now, a year later, finished all its training, it goes out there and does its thing. Apparently, City Airport, I was talking to this guy,

I was basically finding out how to evade security dogs. One of the policemen. It's just for a thing I'm working on. It's a project I'm working on. He was saying like, apparently like, to be nice to the retired police dogs,

right? City Airport has started allowing retired dogs to have a day at work. Oh, that's nice. Because like, you never forget what to do when you're a police dog. Yeah, how do you tell them they've retired? Exactly. You can't. And so they have a day at work. Oh, that's nice. Because you never forget what to do when you're a police dog.

Yeah, how do you tell them they've retired? Exactly. You can't. And so they have a nice day. But I was thinking, but if they've retired and they find something, is that legally admissible as evidence? Well, I want pay in. Exactly.

Because, I mean, they're not necessarily working anymore, so they're not... I never really thought about that. I suppose also... They'd have to get another dog to check it out, to make it legally admissible, I reckon. This is a genuine question. If you were blind and you had a guide dog, an assistance dog,

and then through some kind of treatment you got your sight back, what do you then do with the dog? Because I'm led to believe they're quite... I'm doing an undertaker. No, don't. They're paired with an individual person, right? Right. So do they just become their dog?

I don't know. Oh, I don't know. Would you give... You'd have to just keep that dog, wouldn't you? Those guard dogs are amazing. And how many people recover their sight? I don't know. I'm just asking.

Didn't Mr. Beast give everyone cataract operations? Did he? He's an interesting character. Is it? Is it? Is it Donaldson? Is it? Yeah.

I think he's a bell. I think they're all bells. I think he is the canary in the mine. He must be gutted. A fellow Donaldson. The story you've started off there with is that he's cured a thousand people's cataracts and you followed that up by saying you think he's a bellend.

I mean, should a thousand people not have cataract operations in America for the sake of a thousand? I think it's a thousand people not have cataract operations in America for the sake of a thousand? I think it's a thousand. What do you mean? Well, they couldn't get cataract operations because America and healthcare out there. Yeah, but he's still unquestionably done a good thing though, isn't he? Yeah, but isn't it all through a charity and stuff? Isn't it all like...

People are very cynical about that, aren't they? Yeah. So people would say about philanthropists, Bill Gates had a meeting recently, didn't he? If he's just doing it, but he's getting contact, he's making money out of it, aren't they? So people would say about philanthropists, Bill Gates had a meeting recently, didn't he? If he's just doing it, but he's getting contact, he's making money out of it, isn't he?

He's making money out of doing that. He'll make more money out of that. You say that, but if you think about it, and I used to go out with someone who worked

in the charity sector, and they'd have a lot of anonymous, famous people who say, and she worked for a cancer charity, and a lot of famous people would give their time

or give their money anonymously to this cancer charity. It's very famous for cancer charities, Marie Curie Cancer Care. And what you'd find is that they'd want to do it anonymously for exactly that reason. But then what the charity would say was, and I think fairly, look, it would be fucking great for the charity and for PR and for awareness

if you'd actually come to this event and actually talk a bit about it. And then when they did that, though, the press would hammer them. Oh, you're not talking about your charity work. Oh, yeah, fucking put yourself front and centre. So it's very difficult for them to win. Would you change the opinion that Mr Beast, Jimmy Donaldson, would you change your opinion

if you saw the artwork for said video? I don't have his opinion. Yeah, that's a bit nasty, isn't it? Look at him doing a grin next to him. It's not even a boy who's blind either. That's ridiculous. I don't have an opinion on him. I'm just saying objectively

that's a good thing to do, isn't it? Bag of wank, isn't it? No, it is a good thing to do, but he's got to make money out of it that actually it's exploitative, isn't it? So what are you saying he should have done is just done a thousand anonymously, never spoke about it again.

Cheers. I know that's his thing, and it's all wound up with a charity sort of thing. It's like paying 25 pence at the SL petrol station or whatever to offset someone else's tax. We've talked about this on the show before. Right. Well, I was just going to say,

Bill Gates had a little thing. A little hustle. Convened a lot of people people a lot of wealthy people didn't he saying that basically convincing them all to give their money away when they die which is obviously a good thing yeah of course it is but if you're a 40 year old billionaire and you're not going to die for another probably 50 years at least because you're a billionaire um just pay your taxes now yeah you pay your taxes now you'll help people right now now i understand that people are going to go yeah but the UK government where does all the money go

fucking I have no idea because I have that question myself a lot of times it's fucking ridiculous nothing works but the tax system is therefore a reason to help people

and it makes you feel better doesn't it saying oh big glossy press release oh I've decided to give away 90% of my wealth when I die great you'll be fucking dead

give it away now by fucking paying your tax enjoy it yeah and that guy who got invited to Davos, that Swedish economist, do you remember him? So they must have

invited him by accident. He was this kind of high tax, culturally responsible kind of guy. That was his thing. And he was like a think tank guy,

economist or something. And he was up on the panel with all these famous people, big people. I think he might have even been on the panel with George

Osborne at the time. He was Chancellor of Exchequer at Davos. And he popped the whole thing and said, all you people sitting around there feeling great about yourselves, big decision makers and stuff, talking about philanthropy, pay your taxes. It's the elephant in the room. You're not paying your taxes. I think Martin Lewis was on a podcast and he was saying that, Radio Australia, he was saying

like, I can sit, I don't want to sit here and sort of debate increasing tax on the wealthy, but you're not going to be increasing tax on the people who don't pay tax anyway. You know what I mean? If you increase tax on me, I'm wealthy, I will pay more tax. It's the people who don't pay any tax. I think the people who earn a good but not astronomical amount do shoulder,

I think, there's like a 10% section in that kind of middle. They're wealthy people. I think they shoulder something like 45% of the overall tax burden. And the people below, it's a lower rate, obviously, but the people above just pay fuck all. And the big corporations pay fuck all. And that's the end of it.

Anyway. And that's the end of it. We've got a main event to build up to, Pete. Let's have a quick break. We'll do it when we come back. It's our friend Noah has again sent us another little present. It's the best bit of the Luke and Pete show of the year so far, I think. I know we're only in February, but we're cracking on for March, aren't we?

Luke Moore, what's in the box? Well, Noah, our friend, he's sent us another package. He's, of course, the guy who sent us the Battery Daddy, which is also here. I cut my finger fucking opening it last time. Carried on doing the box. Well Noah our friend set us another package. He's of course the guy who set us the battery daddy which is also here. I cut my finger fucking open it last time. Carried on doing the show.

I didn't know Pete because I'm a pro. Noah sent us this letter. He says hey Luke and Pete. Glad Pete survived

his holiday quite literally. How are you feeling about that now in a word or two? Still not great about it. Okay I'll move on.

Hope these drinks arrived intact so you lads can flex on the youth of the uk it's worth reminding it reminding everyone that or saying certainly for the record that his rapping uh skills second to none i unwrapped every last one of those on friday absolutely amazing stuff yeah and then also oh it's to be fair it is addressed to you okay yeah yeah yeah thank you thought if it's addressed to me, I'd be fuming. And yeah, so basically what happened was a few, maybe a month or two ago, Pete said that

the best thing he would like to do for 2023 is to make Prime, that in-demand energy drink run by KSI and I'm going to say, is it Logan Paul? I was getting mixed up. I think it is Logan Paul. Yes. Make it uncool by making it the kind of drink that people of 40-odd years of age, like you and I, would drink.

Turn it into a cup of tea. It's the uncool. Well, Noah has sent us, along with a crude, he says, please enjoy this crude sketch of a turtle. Oi, there's a gag. It's a pear. It's a pear. I really laughed.

I was thinking about it over the weekend. It made me chuckle. He sent us 10 bottles and cans of Prime. Now, I say 10. We're down to nine because you've already drunk one. We're supposed to thinking about it over the weekend. It made me chuckle. He said it was 10 bottles and cans of Prime. Now, I say 10. We're down to nine because you've already drunk one. We're supposed to be doing this on the show. I was very thirsty. So what flavour have you got?

We had two ice pops versions, so I had a little go on that. Is Rory running the cameras? Are we going to do this on camera as well? I guess so, yeah. All right, let's bring the box over to me because if I lean that way, Pete, I'll be off camera and no one will be able to see it. No one will be able to see it. We don't want that because I'm a, and I wouldn't do something like that.

So, bring the box around. We've got, for flavours, I mean, you've already drunk, what, an ice pop? I've already had an ice pop. I've got blue raspberry. By the way, this is exciting, Pete, because this is drinks that people presumably can't even buy here, because they're not able to. I believe they're very expensive.

I think that they have starved the market over here to artificially inflate very much like their colours. Do you know what? It's annoying, Pete. We spend all our time just making honest-to-God, good quality, free content. And we don't get the fucking love they get. And they're manipulating people every five minutes.

Well, why don't we just come up with a drink? There's no fairness. We should start mugging people off. So what flavour do you want me to drink? Hot milk. Blue, hot milk. It's not a new drink, is it? Hot milk in a can mugging people off. So, what flavour do you want me to drink? Hot milk. Blue, hot milk. It's not a new drink, is it? It's not a new drink, is it?

Blue, hot milk in a can, just milk. Do you remember those cans? Can you still get them when you open it and it heats it up? Is it barium? Barium? No, that's radioactive. You can't have that in there. Coffee.

It was coffee, right? Yeah, but I'm just thinking about the metal, the reaction that happens. It's a really strong chemical reaction. It's the same how you can have like cooked ramen by pressing a button on the bottom or opening it up

and it just goes gets real hot. It seems a bit dangerous. It does, yeah. Maybe that's why I don't do it anymore. Right, blue raspberry, strawberry watermelon,

ice pop, lemon lime, tropical punch, orange or blue raspberry. What do you want me to drink? I want you to have the blue raspberry. You fucking wanker. That's the one I didn't want.

I'm going to do it in a can as well so people can hear me open it. Is that carbonated then? Presumably. Yeah, it is, yeah. Is it? Oh, interesting. So it's carbonated filtered water,

coconut water from concentrate, and then a whole load of fucking chemicals, baby. Only 10 calories per serving, no? Yeah. There we go. Yeah. That was really sad. That was a satisfying noise.

Yeah, okay. Clip that. We'll go. Yeah. That was really sad. That was a satisfying noise. Yeah, okay. Clip that. We'll use that again. Tastes like an ice pop. It just does like an ice pop. You know the ice pops, the brew ones used to get them melt. Yeah, well, I mean,

I've got the ice pop version. It tastes like that. Cheers, guys. We're all drinking Prime, which means we must be pretty cool. Mmm. Look at that. Prime. It's not bad. There pretty cool. Mmm. Look at that. Prime.

It's not bad. There we go. Exactly. There you go. I'm going to suck on this for the rest of the episode. Clip that. Put that on Twitter.

On the socials. What do kids use now? TikTok. Put this on TikTok. And yeah, nobody will be drinking this by about next week. No, hopefully not.

I'm a 41-year-old man. I'm currently wearing a heart monitor because of possibly diagnosed heart issues. And I'm drinking this Ice Pop Prime, and I think it's definitely a drink. Hi, everyone. I'm drinking the Blue Raspberry Prime. I'm a 42-year-old man

who wears clothes that are too young for me. And I've also got a double chin. I love Prime. I've watched three episodes of Grand Design this week, and I'm having a Prime ice pop flavour. Mmm. Hear it all go down. My favourite football player is Cristiano Ronaldo.

And my favourite TV show is Top Gear. I cannot get enough of the lads on Top Gear, and I drink Prime. I cannot get enough of the lads on top gear and I drink Prime I I was a linesman for my 11 aside football side

at the weekend because I'm not good enough to get in the side Prime it's there I almost fell off my line bike today sometimes I go for a wee

in the night and I think I'm finished but then I'll get back to the room and there'll be a little dribble in my pants. Prime. Hi, I'm Luke.

Women look right through me. Have you made it uncool enough yet? Have you got anything else uncool that you've done I nearly drowned on a recent holiday because I'm too weak to handle waves

prime I genuinely think that Carly Rae Jepsen's a good pop artist alright I think we've done enough that Carly Rae Jepsen's a good pop artist. All right, all right. I think we've done enough there. We've done enough.

I'm an at-risk group for COVID. Prime. Mmm. You can really taste the 250 milligrams of bee cacas. Keep doing them. Antioxidants. There's a lot of electrolytes in here. So good. Might affect my heart monitor.

Yeah, don't drink anymore, Pete. Contains allergens, tree nuts. By the way, it can't be a heart problem if you never send the heart monitor back. Exactly. What if I just throw it in the river? Think about exactly throwing it in the river. All right, we should round off with an email, I think.

We've successfully scuppered. He also sent us some batteries for the battery tank. Oh, he did did actually, yeah. It doesn't get any better. Cheers, Noah. Honestly, Noah does more work for the show than we do. Simply done batteries. Let me just check if they're a new player.

If they are, I'll put them in the battery daddy. Simply done. I'm afraid, Noah, Colin McGough sent those in two weeks ago. Oh, no. I'm afraid it's not a new player. But we do thank you very much for sending us Prime. Same as we thank you for sending us in two weeks ago. Oh no. I'm afraid it's not a new player but we do thank you very much for sending us Prime. Same as we thank you

for sending us in the battery daddy. It's brilliant. Thank you very much. You spent $19.75 just on the postage to send us some Prime drinks. We'll share them around

the stack team. We will yeah. And they'll be just as uncool as us. Well they already probably are. I did legitimately have the shits for like five

days in a row last week. Prime. Why? Because of that? I don't know. No it was pre that. I don legitimately have the shits for like five days in a row last week. Prime. Why? Because of that? No, it was pre that. I don't know what I'd done, to be honest. It was pre uncooked steak tartare as well, which was weird. You had the shits for five days straight and then you drank a load of energy drinks and ate a steak tartare prepared by an unhygienic neighbour?

It wasn't the neighbour, it was the neighbour's friend. Okay. I will not have my neighbours dragged through the mud like this. Because you've got to see them again. Alright, let's finish with this email from Ben. Ben says, Hi guys.

I finally thought I'd have something to offer which neatly intersects with some of your recent tropes. Back when I was a young teen, I had a growing collection of nuts magazines. Not quite the porno mags of your discussions, but hopefully you'll grant me some latitude.

I acquired them from the local post office. At the time, I thought I was being pretty slick by informing the shop assistant that I enjoyed the sports section with every purchase. But looking back now, I'm somewhat confident he saw through my elaborate ruse. Anyway, as a young teen, I felt I had pretty foolproof stash point for my illicit materials, straight under the bed with the occasional mag

quickly deposited under the pillow when quick evasive action was required. As the collection grew, I started to become weary of flying too close to the sun and decided to offload them. It didn't take me long to find a pal

who was very keen on the idea of some excellent sports journalism supplemented by the occasional thought-provoking opinion of a wholesome lass. And we agreed the transaction would happen later that week on the school bus. I gathered the collection, remembering the

ones stashed under my pillow, of course, and smuggled them out of my house, onto the bus, and into the possession of my pal without a hitch. Or so I thought, until I became aware of a bit of commotion. Upon further investigation, i.e. it was shoved under my nose to much hysteria, there was a post-it note on the cover of the first magazine. To my absolute horror, it read,

Enjoy the read, love mum. Yes! She must have found it under the pillow while changing the bedsheets and thought she would offer some genuinely sweet and non-invasive parental support what she actually did was condemn me to being the butt

of about six months worth of torment I won't go into detail but kids can be cruel my family sorted the situation in proper British fashion we never ever

acknowledged it yeah love the show keep up the good work and get Vish back on cheers Ben oh yeah I forgot about Vish Vish hasn't done this for ages yeah I think that's wonderful I think that's lovely have you ever been caught Love the show. Keep up the good work and get Vish back on. Cheers, Ben. Oh yeah, I forgot about Vish. Vish hasn't done this for ages.

Yeah, I think that's wonderful. I think that's lovely. Have you ever been caught... Prime? I haven't said anything. Have you ever been caught with a magazine by your parents? I don't think so, no.

The most embarrassing thing that happened to me was I was riding... I rode home on my moped from my job on like a Saturday evening or whatever. And the night before, shows you how young I was, I'd been out at a rave at the Opera House in Bournemouth. Right. Right. This was the late 90s.

Well, probably like 97-ish. And that was high-stakes stuff because we weren't old enough to fucking get into the Opera House in Bournemouth. Right. And it's about a 45 minute coach gym and we did yeah anyway we did go

and we did get let in and we stayed there all night and obviously I was so young that I think I probably just came home went straight to work because I was on the dairy shift

at Avsdor at the time so I was at 6 o'clock starts right did that didn't think much of it came back as I came up the path it must have been the summer

my mum was down there fuming like tears fuming and excuse me I've got some fucking prime give me a burst

Jesus and she she wouldn't say anything I was like what the fuck's happening she's so angry she didn't even want to get into it yeah

and then she just left something on the side and it was this little pouch like a see throughthrough plastic pouch. You could snap the top off of liquid, right? Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. Clear liquid. And she had obviously been through my clothes to wash them.

And thought it was like, yeah. And she thought it was drugs. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a free Tommy Hilfiger aftershave sample from outside the club. So I was like, mum, what's up? She's like, I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to talk about it. I popped it. She was like, oh, don't open it. I'm like, no, it's up? She's like, I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to talk about it. I popped it.

She was like, oh, don't open it. I was like, mum, it's fucking up to you. I'm fucking doing it. I'm drinking it.

I was like, mum, I'm doing it. I tried to bring it towards my nose and she went straight for behind my ear. Little dab.

Little dab on the wrist. I love that. My mum would say that with a spoon. I was walking around with a spoon just in my mouth like for ages.

Oh, you're such a delinquent. Oh, you were so cool. What's that? She grabbed it off me and started smelling it. Like looking at it and smelling it like I was eating drugs

or something. Very confusing. Probably thought you were burning up, cooking up black tar heroin. Exactly, yeah. I think my mum's

a little bit scared of stuff. What about grotty magazines, Peter? Never got caught with grotty magazines, no. Did you get caught when you were Jack O'Lantern with grotty magazines, no. Did you get caught? When you were Jack O'Lantern for the first time playing HeroQuest, did you get caught for that? No, I remember I almost got caught once,

but I did a sort of mad commando role. What? I'd broken my elbow, so I had to do it. Let's do the Klinsman dive at football. Yeah, I had to do it with my other hand, and my sister was coming to the door, and I sort of did a mad commando role. This is weird. What were you doing with the door hand and my sister was coming to the door and I sort of did a mad commando role. This is weird.

What were you doing with the door open with your sister in the house? It wasn't open. People just fucking, in my house, seem to think it's okay to just open the fucking door. I couldn't be doing anything.

I was doing anything. Why do you think a commando role is going to make that better? It covered up the filth. Covered up the rot. Covered up the issues. What do you mean? I'm trying to think of a situation you could be in

where you're ready to do a commander role and that sorts it out. Well, I'm just saying I covered myself up. Talk me through it. Because I was unable to cover myself up because I'd broken my arm. Yeah. Right?

And so I rolled onto my front and just pretended I was looking under a bed or something. Oh, yeah, that looks normal. You definitely got away with that. Definitely. I mean, that's the most normal thing anyone could do, just was looking under a bed or something. Oh yeah, that looks normal. You definitely got away with that. Definitely. I mean, that's the most normal thing anyone could do,

just suddenly look under the bed. I was suddenly looking under the bed, Lou. Yeah, it's fine. She walked out saying, at least

he's not playing Hero Quest. At least he's not playing fucking Hero Quest. Alright, you've closed your laptop, Pete, that must

have been a rough off, and it's not even your laptop, is it? Or is that a spare one? It is a spare one, it's a Chromebook.

Good to know. Good to know. Speaking of absolute filth, some of the stuff you've done with that Chromebook one it is a spare one it's a chrome book good to know good to know speaking of absolute filth some of the stuff you've done with that chrome book eh oh lordy

alright let's go and enjoy our prime we'll share it around the office thanks again to our pal Noah Roth Noah shout out to you you are Lincoln

Nebraska's most as far as we're concerned most impressive son correct I mean I literally can't think of anyone else from Nebraska

let alone Lincoln the only thing I can think of when it comes to Nebraska is the Cinnabon that Saul Goodman ends up working at in Better Call Saul. Nice, I like it. It's the only thing I can think of. Cool. Thanks very much, Noah.

Thanks to everyone listening as well, at Luke and Pete Show on social media. We are hello at lukeandpeteshow.com on the email. Please do spread the word. Please do leave us a review. We would really appreciate it. Until then, we'll see you next time. I make loud noises when I stand.

Prime. The Luke and Pete Show is a Stack Production and part of the Acast Creator Network.