The Luke and Pete Show - I’m Donald Trump and I drink Prime

Episode Date: April 17, 2023

Tiktok’s trash. That’s the news that Luke has been reading recently. However, Pete’s algorithm quickly proves otherwise.We then address the fact that Pete forgot to tell us Lewis Capaldi performed a gig on his flight to America and Donald Trump gives us a huge helping hand in our mission to make Prime uncool. Thanks Donald!Want to get in touch with the show? Email: [e-mail] or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshowWe're also now on Tiktok! Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We're back with Luke Pete Shaw Lukey Moore on a Monday how's your weekend been how are you feeling how are you faring good

okay and not bad how are you right I'm good I'm you spoke I've been

spending a lot of time on uh on the old uh on the old tiktok uh this week uh trying to find out what you know what what you know i'm running a wrestling podcast i'm just trying to figure out what what a wrestling um tiktok looks like and um turns out it's quite hard because um ip management is very aggressive what it probably tends to look like is you getting a load of Ritz sent to you by Vince McMahon. Yeah. He sold it now, didn't he?

He sold it now, but he's still very much in the hot seat with his little dirty moustache looking like an absolute rodent. He's going for a proper golden age of cinema Hollywood kind of vibe, but he just looks like a... Baddie. Yeah, he looks bad. He looks like a baddie um but yeah that was interesting but you but you spoke about um the inshutification of tiktok at the back end

of the last show have you read the article yeah i i haven't no i didn't even though you posted on the look of pizza on twitter i didn't have time uh but basically is it just about that everything's got a bit shit on tikt even though most people who are not that into TikTok would very much be sort of of the opinion that it was already quite shit? The reason it's a brilliant article, and it was in Wired, and it's written by a guy called Corey Doctorow,

and the reason it's so good is because it's very, very clear on what I think is quite a complicated issue for a lot of people. He's a legend in the game. Oh, is the game i don't know of his work yeah oh yeah he's well known is he yeah yeah okay so the first paragraph of the article for those who want a flavor is super clear it's basically this here is how platforms die first they are good to their users then they abuse their users to make things better for their business customers. And finally, they abuse those business customers to claw back all the value for themselves. And then they die.

And he uses examples of Facebook, of Google, and of some other places. I think Twitter's in the mix up. And the point he's making is that TikTok has done this astonishingly quickly. And now to the point where it's essentially already a bit useless. I'm obviously paraphrasing. And the final paragraph is, you know, for many years,

even TikTok's critics grudgingly admitted that no matter how surveillance and creepy it was, it was really good at guessing what you wanted to see. But TikTok couldn't resist the temptation to show you the things it wants you to see rather than what you want to see. The acidification has begun and it's now unlikely to stop it's too late to save tiktok now that it has been infected within shitification the only thing left is to kill it with fire um so i i kind of you know what it reminded me of a thing that you and i have spoken about many times in the past

which is like this affection we have basically because we're men of a certain age with certain interests of when the internet was like quite exciting and decentralized and full of possibilities and now it feels like it's not like that and and i think tiktok's interesting not just because of the ramifications of it but because it feels like no big breakthrough tech business in the social media space finds it possible to become immune from this fucking bullshit. None of them are capable of saying, we're just going to make this for users. We're just going to make this a nice place to be.

And yeah, we're going to run a few ads on it. And yeah, we're going to offer a subscription model, so we'll make a bit of money. But that's all we're going to do. They can't not interfere, and I don't really know why. And the reason I think that's partly interesting is because it opens up a whole lot of ramifications

philosophically as well, because if you are someone who's just claiming, like, say, Zuckerberg does, just to be a platform, and you can't be held accountable for all the shit that goes on your platform, that argument only gets you so far because you are essentially feeding things to people,

making editorial decisions, using algorithms, all the rest of it, which you are responsible for. And so that's where that argument falls down. But as a general point, I would just say, why are people not capable of just saying, here's the fucking, here's the website, here's the social media aspect to it, here's how we're going to make a bit of money off it,

and we're just going to fucking leave it alone. Yeah. I mean, I would say I've just gone on TikTok there and checked out what the first three videos that were served to me. Somebody getting a tamarind seed removed out of their nose. Nice. A woman in a bikini and and a really really tall bridge in japan so that's fine for me that's not actually my algorithm that's um the clash of the titles

tiktok that i'm logged into so god knows what you know producer nicky's been up to i'll take everything back that sounds really good that does sound really good yeah well all i need is a woman on a big bridge big engineering marvel uh in a bikini getting a tamarind uh seed pulled out of her but you know about you know about tech so just i know you probably might find this a bit boring but just indulge me and i'll answer the question why are they not able to just leave it to the users to enjoy what they want to enjoy but but i'm so as in like what because they it because they will manipulate it to get people to stay on the site longer yeah but that but is that not just business sense like going you know again

we're getting killed by twitter and megalodon and fucking this and that and and what's megalodon do you mean mastodon sorry mastodon um what's megalodon is the first ever discovered dinosaur from thursday's show so good for you yeah okay great callback mastodon's the first ever discovered dinosaur from Thursday's show, so good for you. Yeah, okay. Great callback. Mastodon's like a... Is that a historical massive giant whale? Mastodon is a gigantic megafauna from prehistoric times, I think. Similar vibes, isn't it? Oh, I've got mega, Megala. Yeah, like a massive elephant.

Yeah, whatever. They're also actually quite good band from Atlanta, quite a heavy metal, kind of sludge metal, stoner metal band who have got some really good songs, but I think suffered,

suffered quite a lot from having an association with a guy who was in another band who played on every one of their albums and did some bad stuff. Did some bad stuff. That's fine. Basically, there's a guy from another band who played on every one of their albums and did some bad stuff. Did some bad stuff? That's fine.

Basically, there was a guy from another band who wasn't in Mastodon, but he appeared on all the Mastodon albums because I think he was friends with them. Then he got basically cancelled for doing a load of awful shit. It's unclear how that's affected Mastodon, I would say. I never get

the Taking Back Sunday brand new... I don't know where they kind of fit together because another brand new guy got in trouble. Right. And I've not really kept up. And if I don't have to keep up, if I don't keep up, I can still listen. Yeah. If I don't keep up i can still listen yeah if i if i don't

keep up i can still enjoy don't don't read anything in the news about anything and you can listen to whatever music you want exactly yeah just just do not learn anything you and your heroes will maintain you know they will maintain their luster i don't know anything about the guy from band brand new um yeah i think don't start googling now and reading stuff out i've just read it awful yeah okay fine yeah all right cool um i very much enjoy um millennials um basically just taking dms that quite legendary um band members from big bands um they'll they will think nothing of just putting thirsty little creepy little slidey dms on twitter and it is very much their right and i very much enjoy it um blow cut the strokes got got you received a couple yourself yeah the blow

cut the strokes was uh what's his name? Julian Casablancas. He was basically, he wasn't even that creepy. It was more weird. We talked about this before. We talked about it. It was very odd. Yeah.

It's brilliant. I love it. I love all that. There was an element of it, from what I remember, where he seemed genuinely interested in what someone's opinion was on something quite odd. I'm here for that.

But anyway, just give me my answer to my question about TikTok. You know more about this stuff than me. Why can't I just leave it alone and let it organically develop into what people want? Because they have shareholders and they worry about the future of the company and they worry about maximising as much money as they can. If I'm a $5 billion company now, why can't i be a 10 million dollar company tomorrow

like this is just that in it's just panicking just just fucking shit in their pants and and not trusting people um i think that's kind of like you're the place where everybody you know tiktok is i think still maintains um people Google stuff, sorry, people search for stuff on TikTok, solutions, plans, guides, technical blueprints for what you're trying to do. If I've got like a, you know, if I've got a fucked up pipe, apparently going on a TikTok and going, I've got a fucked up pipe, can you help me with this? There are so many creators who are creating stuff for free, helping people out, you know. And so kids basically use it as a search engine these days.

And that's been the case for a very long time and it will continue, no doubt. But the company, the people our age who run these companies, they go, I'm worried we're not going to have enough money tomorrow. And they just get sold snake oil solutions from third third party companies who you know who will be able to sort of um you know maximize their their income so to speak yeah it was interesting in that article and why because he said that um google's gone to absolute shit now

like you search for anything on google you're not really getting search results that are helpful for you you're getting search results that people have essentially paid to be at the top of the rankings right okay it's the same as amazon right have you gone to amazon basically the way amazon's business model works is that you go to amazon and they just do everything they can to stop you buying anything from anywhere else right but the search engine that amazon employs essentially just uses sponsored, paid for results to get to the top. It's not like it's nothing to do with the customer. It's nothing to do with the user.

And in some cases, Amazon will go over and above that. They'll find the one that's the thing that's most popular, break it down, build it themselves, sell it at a massive loss to basically push those other legitimate make manufacturers of things out of business and then just keep people on the site and keep it churning and and i also was really interested i don't think this cory guy said this in the article but i did a little bit of research around it afterwards because i found it so interesting i actually found out that the second biggest search engine is youtube right okay. Okay, yeah, that's fair. So, you know, people say,

people go on TikTok, maybe young people, to kind of search for things they want or help they want. I think people do that with YouTube a lot now because we've been talking a while about how, for a while now, Pete, haven't we, about how YouTube is, I think,

the second biggest discovery platform for podcasts now as well. Yeah, but God knows how to make it happen. Yeah, well, no one knows that, do they? No, it's true. Pete, in the dim distant past in this episode, you mentioned your wrestling business as well. Right, business. I've started

a company. What's it called? All Donaldson Wrestling? All Donaldson ADW. All Donaldson Wrestling. People just get to turn up. They pay and they get to turn up, put some lycra pants on, just beat the shit out of you. Yeah, I mean, it's not really,

I mean, we could talk about the wrestling, but the main kind of USP for my wrestling company is that the belts are just normal sized. Oh, that's a good idea. Yeah. Just like a leather belt. Just a leather belt. Yeah.

The world champion gets one of the cowboy buckles. Yeah, exactly i was gonna say that a week or so ago when you recorded the show a couple of shows with me i think you had just landed back from wrestlemania okay yeah and you just threw away just threw it away as a fact that wasn't even that interesting that lewis capaldi did an impromptu gig on your flight yeah well he was just like so there was a bit of a kerfuffle, and I said, I turned to Mark, I said, Mark, was that Lewis Capaldi who just walked past me with a guitar in his hand? Quite a distinctive looking chap, it's fair to say, as well.

No, I think that the point is he isn't a distinctive looking chap. He's just a schlubby young man. No, distinctive as in the arena he's in. Fair. Okay, yeah. He's a common guy. He's an everyday guy, and that's a schlubby young man. No, just as in the arena he's in. Fair. Okay, yeah. He's a common guy. He's an everyday guy, and that's a good thing. But he's not like a Brit school chiseled fella, is he?

No, exactly. So, yeah, and he was just walking up there. I said, Mark, is that Lewis Cabaldi? And I'm not sure Mark was massively across what he looked like these days. But, yeah, he was doing then we saw him at like when he were picking up our our um our bags and he was just cutting about and and i and apparently and and mark had seen there was some camera um equipment at the front of the plane and uh yeah he did a he did a little gig apparently i it looked, out of all of those kind of,

out of all those kind of, like, you know, in-air gigs, sort of impromptu lift gigs and stuff, it was about as apologetic as it possibly could have been. It looked like he sang half a song. I think he sang one chorus. What, just for a video or something? Just for a video, for a British Airways thing, I think, maybe. Oh, I see what you mean, okay.

Because I don't think people should be doing those things in public. No, because if you're trying... Because he actually sort of named it. He said, oh, there's a bloke trying to sleep over there. Can I sing the chorus to my new song? It's just so fucking weird. To these two girls. It's also, you're on a plane.

How would anyone know what's happening? Exactly, yeah. These two girls who are big fans of Lewis Capaldi, and they're just kind of, you know, they're just in, just sat in their economy seats. They're loving it. They were loving it,

but I just sort of think, well, what happens for the rest of the flight? Knowing that Lewis Capaldi's there and he's gone to sit up in, you know, in club or first or whatever. He's not in first. Is he Capaldi? He's not in first.

I believe they blocked out the whole of the first. Well, they seemed to block out most of the first because that's where they were filming, I think. I've never even been in the first class cabin, let alone flown in one. I don't know where the difference is between business and first. It seems like very...

In the same way that premium economy and economy are quite similar, I imagine business and first. What's the point, guys? I think premium makes a difference, especially if you're big like I am. Big guy. Big guy.

If you get one of the two seats on the side in premium, it's decent. It makes a massive difference for a long flight. Ultimately, I'd just suck it up, generally speaking. But if I can, I'll do premium. But then I've never even seen first class. I mean, it must just be your own cubicle or a big flatbed or something, I'll do premium. But then I've never even seen first class. I mean, it must just be your own cubicle or a big flatbed or something, I suppose.

The price is astronomical, though. I mean, again, it's not worth it, though, is it? For the value, no, because you're not in it long enough. I think it's like 20 grand or something. Yeah, yeah. What are you doing? So did I tell you I used to work for a yacht charter company back in the day?

No, you really didn't. Yeah, I used to work for a kind of company that did the day? No, you really didn't. Yeah, I used to work for a company that did yacht chartering and yacht clubs around the world and stuff. And I just basically sit in their office in Portsmouth doing customer service on the phone. But they used to have, obviously, quite a lot of wealthy people choosing them for their holidays and stuff. And the kind of premium option option which i think at the time

this is about 20 years ago but the time was i think they would use you'd use virgin upper class flights yeah and i genuinely like occasionally got a phone call from a customer saying um oh uh as part of my flight deal with virgin upper class through you guys um i'm supposed to have a chauffeur pick me up from my house take me to the airport and whisk me through you guys. I'm supposed to have a chauffeur pick me up from my house, take me to the airport, and whisk me through the terminal. Whisk. The chauffeur hasn't turned up. And then I have to go and find out what happened. So as part of the first class ticket on Virgin at that point,

you basically got a chauffeur-driven limo to the airport as well. So I guess there's a lot of added value that comes along with it maybe. Fair. But even then, I mean, it's chucking money away isn't it which you are an expert in well yeah but I wouldn't

I don't have that amount of money but it's just like the food wouldn't be any better the films wouldn't be do you get better

films do you get access to can you ring the there was a scene in first class you get Citizen Kane and the Godfather

all the best ones yeah there was a scene in have you been watching the new series of Secession I have spoiler it

I won't spoiler it I won't say anything but I have been watching it spoiler it no spoilers here fuck off fuck off don't spoiler me

fuck off and somebody goes can I speak to the pilot please and the pilot can't speak to you he's landing the plane and I was thinking if you're in if you're in first I think you should be able to ring the pilot and't speak to you he's landing the plane and I was thinking if you're in if you're in

first I think you should be able to ring the pilot and have a chat yeah and you get like a you get like a card with like five or six

subject options yeah exactly you can talk to him about one of them could just be plane flying what's it like do you like skittles

just weird stuff yeah one could be that yeah do you know I can genuinely remember being 11 years old and going on holiday with my family

it should have been in 1992 and they let me and like three other kids go up onto the flight deck and meet the pilot yeah I mean that kind of happened

all the time back in the day and then one particular event stopped that so kids are not getting the opportunity to sort of get up there

and uh and hang out with the pilot i remember just thinking it was absolutely unreal to go in there yeah because obviously when you're a kid it looked massive as well just a 5 000 buttons how's so many months i just just so many there was this um car i was looking at not looking at i was going to buy or anything um it was a video of a car that had a jet engine in it like a rolls royce jet engine thing at the front and so it was like it had a really long nose like it was three times bigger than the actual car itself that that was a plane pete that's a sorry that was sorry that was a play and it and you won't believe what happened next um but like it went like you had to flick like four switches before you even started the engine so you'd sort of test the fan test this test that test and that's just a fucking car and then

yeah i press another two buttons to get it started and then another two buttons do you check the pressure on the and like that's just to start a car. And before you know it, you've got another fixed penalty notice. Oh, lordy. Yes, that's unbelievable. Let's have a quick break. When we come back, we'll squeeze a couple of emails in, shall we? All right, then. Cool.

We're back with a little Pete Show. I'm Pete Donaldson. I'm joined by Mr. Lukey Moore. It's time for some emails, people. There's not two ways about it. We've got an air travel themed email here. Nice, I like it. If you fancy it. It's from our friend Tim.

He says, hi gang, big fan of the show. Have tried an ice pop prime and I can confirm that it is indeed a drink. Thanks for clearing that up. Oh, did you see Donald Trump had a bottle of prime? He did, yeah. Was it UFC or something? The thing about this is, and I know that he's a polarising figure, and I know that every right-thinking person thinks he's a bellend because he is why is it the wrestling again

he's got other stuff on he's just been indicted the first ever president to be indicted for a crime i'm going straight to the wrestling yeah is it i think it's because ufc or whatever it is i think because he does like wrestling doesn't he oh yeah Oh yeah, he's taken a couple of stunners in his time. Yeah, I think he likes wrestling because it's exactly as he thinks the world should be. Like really black and white, good versus evil, everyone gives you attention and he can understand it. But the nuance, there's no nuance.

Anyway, I digress. He has done a very, very big service to us in our quest to try and make Prime uncool. Yeah, he's really getting involved isn't he yeah that would be that is I mean that is unhelpful for KSI and Logan Paul but some might say KSI is doing his own damage anyway. And some might also say

I think they'll both probably be fine I think they'll be fine. I'm fine actually yeah I'll let Tim pick up the story he says I was listening to the latest episode where someone had emailed in about their Esther expiring on the way to the States. It reminded me of my own cursed airport story. In my second year at uni, I spent a summer working

in the Pennsylvania mountains as a rock climbing instructor at a camp before spending some time traveling around the East Coast. This required me to have a J-1 visa. But you've spent a lot of your time as a rock climbing instructor in pennsylvania haven't you in the mountains that's where the rocks are so that's the first place i look to be honest he'll go there if he is about my cup my rock cup overfloweth uh tim says the year after i finished my degree at uni i got a job in texas as an audio

engineer which required me to get another j1 visa so i go to the u.s embassy and get a new one issued in my passport and my old one is marked with an expired without prejudice stamp which means i did nothing wrong the thing just expired right about a month later i'm flying out to texas specifically austin is my final destination but i need to change in houston i present my passport at immigration and the guy looks at it for two seconds, hands it to another security guard and says go and stand in that line over there. This was a very long line so I asked how long it would be as I had a connecting

flight and he just looked at me and said get in line. So I'm standing there and I'm seeing a guard walk up and down asking if anyone needs to go to the bathroom. I ask him how long. He tells me the average wait is six hours so I was of course going to miss my flight i didn't have an american phone so i had to borrow a stranger's phone to email my boss

and my apartment complex to let them know i was going to be late or i might be deported um eight hours pass and i finally get called up and i'm taken to a room with three security guards and i'm asked to sit at a table they then slide my passport over to me and asked me where my visa was they had it open on the old visa which had the expiration stamp i turned one page and said there it is they looked at it closed the passport handed it back to me and told me to have a nice evening by a miracle i got on the last flight to austin because of a no-show but every time i've been through houston it's been cursed to the point that i actively avoid it um thanks for this show appreciate it if you could shout out my brother joey who introduced me to the show i know he'd love it so hello to you joey and thanks for sending that in tim that is a long time to wait for someone to not be able to do their admin properly in the first the thing

that gets me is it's kind of like i understand there will be a lot of people that the staff experience day to day who are, who kind of, you know, the English might not be the first language. They may find it hard to explain. They may not understand the process properly. Right. But when you are talking to someone who clearly can express themselves properly, you do sort of go, what are you like? Why are you doing this? Like, why you, like, why are you doing this? Like, why are you,

like, why are you being, why can't you just, you know, give them the information that they need, this is why you're going in this line, and then they can just have a better day. But it's not,

it's just this kind of weird power trippy stuff we've spoken about before. I think it's, it drives me fucking mad. I think it's, it's a, not only that, I agree with you,

but not only that that it's a massive own goal for the United States as a country so if you look at how many people come through the United States as tourists or business travellers or in transit or whatever who have an experience at airport in the United States

I think it's something like about 100 million people a year it's a massive number and you know if you think about, say, how important it is for a country the size of the United States, with all the impact it has culturally, and the fact that it's the world's biggest Western democracy and all the rest

of it, it's an amazing opportunity to have a really good PR win for no real outlay. There's absolutely no reason. I understand there's processes in place. I understand you've got to do the admin. You've got to do the thing you've got to do. But there is no reason at all why they can't do it

in a really helpful, kind, patient way and give people who a lot of the time are only experiencing it for the very first time a really positive experience of the country. It would do wonders for their standing around the world. It really would. But they refuse to do it. It's of the country. It would do wonders for their standing around the world. It really would. But they refused to do it. It's the only country.

We went into LAX. The actual process of getting through, it's quite quiet. I think they've opened a new terminal or something, so we got through quite quickly. They ask you, like, why are you here? And it's like, why is anyone fucking LA? It's fucking tourism.

Everyone's just coming. So I said, I'm going to watch And it's like, why is anyone fucking LA? It's fucking tourism. You know, like, everyone's just coming. So I said, I'm going to watch WrestleMania. All right, okay. I mean, why are you here for seven days? Because, well, why are you here for six days? WrestleMania's only two days. I was like, well, because there's other shows on. And fuck you is why.

Like, fuck you. And what's your favourite wrestler? I was like, why are you asking me what my favourite fucking wrestler is? It's just a waste of your time. It's a waste of my time. Yeah, fine, I'm sure there's processes that help, but I'm clearly just here to watch some fucking wrestlers. I mean, Jesus Christ.

It's so silly. My tip would be to fly to Boston. Boston, Oregon's great. They're a bad experience in Boston. Yeah, they're nice. Yeah, they're nice. Yeah, they changed. They got LX. Still had LX.

I think when people, I know your LA thing's fine and I've flown through LA. I can't remember what it was like but I know what you mean. But a lot of people when they talk about

American border patrol or border security, they're basically talking about JFK, right? Yeah. That's just notoriously shit but no one in America thinks JFK's a good airport.

Americans think JFK's a good airport Americans think JFK is a fucking nightmare from start to finish anyway so if you go elsewhere it's not quite as bad like I fly into Atlanta

which is I think might even be busier than JFK now and yeah it was fine massive airport it was lovely

so I think it is hit or miss but I do think they could do a much better job of PRing themselves in that in that way um but they don't for some reason i think there's a militarization that goes on of all the things that are at least adjacent to the military like the police and the border security

and i can't they just don't think of themselves in that way and i don't think it's very helpful but anyway that's uh that's life uh we've got one more email here that i want to squeeze in pete if you don't mind i think you going to have a big red hot take on it. No pressure, of course. This is from our friend Connor, who says, Hi both. As a resident of the glorious town of Nottingham, I can confirm that Hooters is still well and truly trading

and has not, I repeat, not closed down. It was the only one in the UK for a long time, but there has recently been another location opened in Liverpool. Having been on occasion, I can confirm just how bizarre it is as a place. I went in for a couple of pints. It was just strange, in my humble opinion, to see whole families with children in for their

evening meals, with kids sat colouring in, surrounded by Hooters-branded balloons. Very odd. Thanks, Connor. I've not visited it. i know it by reputation only but apparently it's alive and well in nottingham peter yeah well we knew it was alive and well in nottingham and i think there's another one opening in in burnley oh that might be little caesars i can't remember either way um it it is a bizarre concept even for america it's certainly a

bizarre concept over here and you'd think that that the Europeans would kind of get it more. You know what I mean? But it's just, I mean, the name. You may have a vibe that you want to go for, but the name is just so horrendous. Yeah. Do you reckon they need a rebrand? I think they do.

Tatas. They should rebrand to Denny's. Yeah, I think so. I love Denny's. I keep threatening to go to the Wimpy on the on Lee High Street get yourself a Bender Burger mate

yeah Wendy Bender Burger lovely and then get yourself a brown derby for dessert yeah beautiful beautiful two actual dishes you can get at Wimpy

anyway Peter let's wrap up that'll do us for now won't it yeah we'll be back on Thursday for more of this of course as we always are send your batteries in for suggestions

as new players into the game. Hello at LukeandPeteShow.com. We are at LukeandPeteShow at all those social media destinations as well. All the usual ones. Thank you very much for listening. Thank you very much to producer Rory

for his excellent work as ever. And we will see you again very soon. Stay safe. Be good. It's goodbye from me and it's goodbye from Peter and it's goodbye from peter as well bye The Luke and Pete Show is a Stack production and part of the ACAST Creator Network.