The Luke and Pete Show - I'm gonna live forever

Episode Date: September 25, 2023

Would you want to live forever? Today, Luke and Pete discuss the tech billionaire who is trying to do just that.In contrast, Luke then suggests he could break the world record for eating Jaffa Cakes and the lads hear about a man that’s trying to RUN across the Atlantic. Yes you read that right, run!Want to get in touch with the show? Email: [e-mail] or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.We're also now on Tiktok! Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow. Subscribe to our YouTube HERE. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Go back to school with Rogers and get Canada's fastest and most reliable internet. Perfect for streaming lectures all day or binging TV shows all night. Save up to $20 per month on Rogers Internet. Visit rogers.com for details. We got you. Rogers. Hello and welcome to the Luke and Pete Show. It is Monday the 25th of September.

My name is Pete Donaldson. I'm joined by Mr. Lukey Moore. All right. You all right? You put a message out on Instagram for people to get in touch suggesting what we should be talking about. And you spent the last five minutes counting how many messages came in. Was it five? It's 31. Yeah, was it five minutes? spent the last five minutes counting how many messages came in is it five it's 31 yeah was it five minutes it felt like five minutes i just have to sit for you try to do a read for about eight minutes well supposed to be a pro broadcaster i am i can only broadcast

what i've been given but if there's if there's nonsense in front of me what can i read that's what clive murray says on the bbs i can only read what i can only read what i've been given um yeah i did i put i've i've i i thought i thought it'd be a good idea for us to take what Clive Murray says on the BBC, I can only read what I've been given. I can only read what I've been given. It's not my fault. Yeah, I did. I thought it'd be a good idea for us to take control of the Instagram, Pete. Right, okay, yeah. You and me, baby.

Yeah. So we both got the login. Yeah. I started off by uploading photos and videos of you with your knowledge. Yeah, I don't like the way that I'm sort of looking

a bit jowly in that picture. Awful. I mean, it's all down from here, isn't it, really? I think it probably is. Yeah. You're preaching to the converter there mate um but yeah on on instagram we are uh at what are we at luke and pete show yeah yeah at the compete show yeah and i've got a load of managed to bag that um particular instagram handle yeah before those other bastards yeah and uh i just put a little message out the other day saying um if you want to put a comment

or a question in or whatever, then do that and I'll read through them on one of the shows coming up. And I've counted how many we've got, but I haven't read them. Okay. So do you just want to go through them? Let's just pile through them. I mean, I did try and get, I was going to get involved on the old Instagram and I did log in.

But then I thought better of posting my four favourite air crashes. There's a Wikipedia page where it's like air crashes that have happened because pilots have done something naughty. It's not written like that, but it's like basically... That's the sentiment. Yeah. One of them, while approaching Kramok Airport, Captain Kiliyev made a bet with first-office Zernov

that he could make an instrument-only approach with curtain cockpit windows. So they closed the curtains. Why have they got curtains? In the cockpit. And by virtue of the fact it's on a Wikipedia page, you know what happened. Wow. It crashed. Northwestern Airlines Flight 188, where the pilots stopped monitoring the flight.

Pinnacle Airlines Flight, a crash where the pilots chose, for flight Pinnacle Airlines flight a crash where the pilots chose for fun to exceed aircraft limits Aeroflot flight 593

a crash where the pilots let miners fly the aircraft the miners not the people who dig underground but young people but young people

I think it was the son and daughter of the captain and that didn't go very well it's a harrowing harrowing story but yeah that is I mean presumably that thing doesn't the captain and that didn't go very well. It's a harrowing, harrowing story. Yeah, that is, I mean,

presumably that kind of stuff doesn't go on anymore. No, there's rules against giving the york to a child. The worst thing about that story is that at no point does the captain take the controls back off the child. It might have been too late. He had minutes. He had minutes to sort of go on. How do you know?

Have you looked into this in further detail? I have, yeah. I watched a mentor pilot video about it where he's like, at no point did the captain sit back down in his seat.

He was just pilot monitoring. He was just looking at the instruments going, this is going badly. Do you want to pull the stick up a bit?

I mean, I guess it makes sense if the guy's already sat there, but he was the one who fucked the kid who was the one who fucked up in the first

play. What a shame. do you reckon he forgot that he wasn't in a simulator or something yeah maybe yeah

they do a lot of simulator flying don't they similar flying so that's what you were going to share on

Instagram yeah I didn't I thought it was a bit grim okay alright well I'll reach for you especially because

I am destined to find myself in the similar sort of situation you'll love the first response on Instagram. Right.

I'd love to hear your take on the Russell Brand issue. Good stuff. We're not laughing because it's funny. We're laughing because, I mean, legally, that is...

It's a bit of a minefield, isn't it? There's not really much we can say about that one, but thank you to Peter. To be fair, he does say, obviously, I understand why you might not be able to, but I'd love to hear your take.

I would say, generally, just sexual assault's bad. Yeah, it's bad, isn't I understand why you might not be able to, but I'd love to hear your take. I would say, generally, sexual assault's bad. Yeah, it's bad, isn't it? It's bad. Have you met him?

I've never met Russell Brand. No, I haven't. I do know plenty of people who've worked with him, but I've never been in the same room as the guy. He sort of left XFM when I was there. Well, I was,

I mean, even less of a nobody than I am now, so there was no chance I was ever going to be involved. what you, oh, here's one from Philip. This is one you will like. We talk about him quite a lot on the WhatsApp chat

between you and I, Peter. You should talk about Brian Johnson, the guy who thinks he can stop death. Oh, yeah. The guy who's really working very hard. Is he a millionaire? He's got to be rich enough to sort of do... He's a venture capitalist, I think. Right. Okay.

Yeah. And so for those who don't know who he is, he's a 46-year-old wealthy man. I think he's a venture capitalist. And he does all this different stuff. So he does all this different stuff to make... to try and basically cheat death. He calls himself a biohacker.

Right. And he thinks that he can do certain things, which means he's going to live for a huge amount of time. Who wants to live forever? Exactly. The meaning of life is removed if you could live forever. I mean, there's no value to any of it. Well, exactly.

And if you spend all of your working hours trying to cheat death, have you really lived, baby? Exactly. I don't think he is living. That's why I shout at runners. Yeah. Well, you're just too tired to go

too unfit to shout too much. So what he does is he, among other things, he swaps blood with other relatives, gobbles down 80 vitamins and minerals a day, eats 70 pounds exactly of pureed vegetables a month. That doesn't seem like a lot. Or does it seem like a lot?

I don't know. That's the kind of more reasonable stuff he does. I mean, he also wears... He's eating baby food and getting hepatitis off a relative. He wears a small device on his penis to monitor his erections in the night. Yeah, and he does that because he's trying to...

That's like an addendum to what he's actually doing. He is is I think hitting his penis with some kind of like vibration like echoes like big loud sounds

is it a constant vibration with the palm of one of his hands yes yeah it's most people do that most people do that

I've said it before if I get prostate cancer I'll be fucking annoyed why because you because you milk a lot. I get it moving a lot. I don't think it's just down to that.

No, but I have heard that it helps. Yeah, who have you heard that from? The man in the mirror that I'm firing strings at. But anyway, Brian Johnson's regime cost him $2 million a year. I'm going to live forever, I shout. He's obviously a very wealthy man. The one thing I would say about him, and I think he's putting himself out here to be judged,

so I don't feel bad about judging him. He looks horrific. Yeah. He looks absolutely horrific. He looks like that kind of, that drawn kind of Martin Short kind of face. He's got that kind of, I'm going to live forever.

Looking like that. So what he's learned, I mean, and we are going to, you would be unsurprised to know, we're going to focus forever. Looking like that. So what he's learned, I mean, and we are going to, you would be unsurprised to know, we're going to focus on the penis. Right. His baseline measurements for his nocturnal erections at the age of 46

is he gets an erection for two hours, 12 minutes a night on average. That's mad, that, isn't it? You think that if you could maintain that

throughout the night, you'd burn more calories. And the 18-year-old average apparently is three hours, 30 minutes. You'd think that if you could maintain that throughout the night, you'd burn more calories. And the 18-year-old average apparently is three hours, 30 minutes. Yeah, okay. And he also gives himself a three-and-a-half-hour erection. No, but I think it's just a total amount of time that he's been in that time. Obviously, it doesn't get any weirder than that. It's not like he's got an erection and hardness score or anything like that

or an erectile function um index yeah so he he rates his own erectile function 100 at the moment i'm imagining his like his little dirty little sliver screens just like having you know like venture capitalists would have loads of screens with the nasdaq and all of the stocks and shares yeah you think that like a lot of data yeah a lot of data he data. He's probably sat there with an erection. So what Brian also does is he measures his erection hardness score, his EHS. Right. A self-scored measure approved by the American Urological Association, which helps patients measure erectile stiffness.

Now, the reason I believe, I'm going a bit off-piste here, but the reason I believe this is important is because this can be a very good indicator of heart health. Okay. So if you stop getting erections regularly, that can be an indication of a wider thing. He scored himself four out of four on erection hardness. Okay, right. Yeah, so erectile stiffness, he's given himself a four,

and he's also given himself a perfect score of 25 on the International Index of Erectile Function. Is this just a big Tinder player? A really expensive Tinder player? I think he made millions of monies, millions of dollars, off an online payment platform. Right. Which he sold, I think, for about

$800 million or so. He's got a lot of money. He does a blood plasma exchange with his son who looks every bit as odd as him, I'll be honest. How is that allowed? How are you allowed to do that with your son? Just a normal family photo, Pete. Just a normal... Of them all in vests? So he's...

They're all in vests, white vests, and the dad, the child's grandad, has sort of got his... Like a really weird intergenerational sort of boy band. The grandad's got like his arms

round the front of his... the front of the guys. I just think what chances the kid got. I feel sorry for the kid. No, yeah, exactly. He doesn't mind. He's plasma-less. In his strict diet, he takes on board exactly 1,977 calories a day. He has, during his regime, taken more than 33,000 photos

of the inside of his bowels. And he has a team of 30 doctors. He's guaranteed to get bowel cancer or something, isn't he? He's obsessed with the inside of his bowel. It's going to be like the runner who, no, the Segway guy who fell off the cliff on a Segway. It's going to be like that, isn't it, really? And the thing with him is that he's spending spending all his time you know monitoring his health to to live forever but

but it is he's just i just don't think he's having a very nice time what did someone once say the trees can't grow without the sun on their eyes peter well we can't live if we're too afraid to die i'm fairly certain that i saw a clip of that guy going around his unlovable mansion. And he's in the fridge and he's going, yeah, I've got alcohol in the house. I've got wine in the house. If anybody wants to pop round, I'll give them wine. But I'm very much teetotal because it's just a waste of calories. Yeah. He's big into the calorie game.

Well, I can understand that that would be a very, you know, he has to have 1977 calories exactly a day. Yeah. The problem is he's not living any sort of life, is he? No. Best case scenario, he's probably going to, he probably will add a few years

onto the end of his life, right? Yes. He probably will. He lives healthily. What he's doing is he's increasing the chances of living longer, which basically is what he's all about. But if you're obsessed about it,

you're just constantly watching every fingernail lengthen every year. Yeah, what life is it? What life is it? Is he getting the same enjoyment out of life that I'm getting when I smash a whole packet

of Jaffa Cake in front of the telly like I did last night I loved Jaffa Cake's one of those things because with a cup of tea you can see off

like five pallets couldn't you really they're just so very I look at the world record for Jaffa Cake eating and I think this is fucking child's play absolute child's play

I had the tea of a single man a bit of frozen salmon and some noodles it was just pretty foul stuff there's no joy in cooking for yourself

I hate it because Sarah's out and she and I when she came home I'd just eaten two crumpets at like ten o'clock at night you shouldn't be eating two crumpets at ten o'clock at night she and when she came home I'd just eaten two crumpets

at like 10 o'clock at night you shouldn't be eating two crumpets at 10 o'clock at night that's the one thing they say you shouldn't do I would never limit myself

to two I love a crumpet what do you have on them you toast them in a toaster she's a vessel for butter really do you put anything else on top of that

I put a bit of cheese on it for a laugh what I like to do is I put a bit of cheese on them and put them under the grill sriracha yeah I stuck it in the air fryer bit of sriracha bit of cheese on it for a laugh what I would like what I like to do is I'll put a bit of cheese on them and put them under the grill sriracha yeah a stick of the air fryer

a bit of Worcestershire Worcestershire sauce how do you say it Worcestershire so that's Brian Johnson what's next what's next Bryce has been in touch

saying I think we should do these kind of shows more often it's actually pretty interesting Bryce has been in touch saying I'm seeing the Arctic Monkeys

in concert on Sunday what are your lads opinions on the group I think we've spoken about them quite lengthy, haven't we? Yeah, I think it was our biggest hit in YouTube video, I think. Was it? I think we sort of dovetailed the whole Glastonbury chat, yeah. Yeah.

We both feel the same about them, I think. I think they're all right. Yeah, same. I mean, I think Alex Towns is a bit risible these days, but I think they're interesting enough, aren't they? Wasn't there a Ford advert? Did I see a video't there a Ford advert? Did I see a video clip of a Ford advert happening in the middle of an Arctic Monkeys performance?

Well, I'd get some sweet dollar for that, wouldn't I? I don't know. I don't think so. Imagine if he came on stage just driving a Ford car. Yeah, I think so. Anyway, shall we move on to the next one? Yeah. So, gee, Solly, hello to you.

Most importantly on Bryce, I'll just say, if you're going to go see him on Sunday, the most important thing is don't worry about what we think. Have a nice time. Enjoy yourself. G. Solly, intrigued by your thoughts on weather small talk, in quotations he's put, it's getting cold, isn't it? Yes, it's October.

It isn't actually October, but that to one side, it's September. But weather small talk, I can imagine people were thinking that I partake in it, I enjoy it, I'm boring about it, and that you probably do everything you can to avoid it. Yeah, I hate small talk.

And it's just generally. I had a walk from my car with one of the little lasses who lives a couple of hours down. And I think, you know, if and when I become a parent, I find it quite hard to talk to children. Right.

Even though you would imagine that I'd be really good at it. Because you're spiritually a child yourself. Yeah. But I just can't talk to them. Like, I sort of go, how's school? What's maths? Like, I just find it quite difficult and quite awkward around talking to kids. Sorry, you say, how's school? Maths.? I just find it quite difficult and quite awkward around talking to kids. Sorry, you say,

how's school maths? That's the three words you say to them. How's school? She said, I've done maths. They're putting us into sets. I'm in the seventh year. So,

and I was like, well, just do badly now and then you won't have to do any work. Bad advice for children. Yeah. Bad advice for an actual child. I can see why you don't get on well with it. What else?

If you had your time again, now you've had a chance to think about it, how would you make small talk with the child next time, do you think? Because it might come up again. I would talk about the fuel economy of my car. I'd talk about her dad doesn't get hangovers. Don't say anything about getting in your car.

That's worse than the last one. Try again. Oh, I did did actually um just before then i walked past a uh i walked past an old lady that a few weeks ago i'd helped her grass verge had been cut and they just left all the grass everywhere you know like all people they get they get very stressed out have they not got like a thing a chamber at the back of the lawnmower that catches the grass not Not on a council level. It's very much they just bash out the strimmers and it's done. And so I helped this old lady, Margaret, her name was. It only stuck in my head because my name was called Margaret Peggy. And I put the grass in a plastic bag and took the bag away.

And then when I walked down yesterday, I went, You all right, Margaret? She went, Sorry, who are you? I went, Oh, sorry, I went you alright Margaret she went sorry who are you I went oh sorry I helped you with the helped you with the grass a few weeks ago

oh you walk up and down I don't remember we had a full conversation yeah so you're not good with kids or old people Margaret is going on my list

what's your captive audience do you reckon small talk man I just can't do it yeah I told you when I was I helped to collect the leaves of my

wife's family's next door neighbours house she's like 103 and every time I do it lazy woman every time I do it she comes out

and says who are you and I have to remind her which is fair enough she's 103 or whatever this woman definitely isn't 103 she drives a Land Rover what do you reckon

the queen she's just like a 50-year-old woman. Yeah. Outrageous. So small talk is one. I don't mind it. I find it quite... If it goes well...

I find it very quite nourishing. It's a spring in my step, actually. I just... Like, Spellsie's really good at it. Spellsie could talk to himself in like a room for ages. I cannot... I just think

everything I say is lame because I always go I always go for how far have you come in where have you got to get back to what what what are you talking about

context is this when I talk to some well when I talk how far have you come in I don't think I fully understood how bad you were speaking of the

queen speaking of the queen yeah and you just do random questions that pop into your mind that have no relevance to the reality yeah but you know I have you know where have that have no relevance to the reality yeah but you know

where have you come in I live next door yeah but you know I'm random at random but like when when it comes to actual the nuts and bolts the meat and potatoes

of a conversation I'm quite I've got very few kind I've got to get through the permafrost of that before I can talk about you know wanking and stuff

which is very much my forte how long is it how long how well do you have to get to know one how long does it take to get to know someone before you can do your proper know wanking and stuff which is very much my forte how long is it how well do you have to get to know one how long does it take to get to know someone before you can do

your proper stuff that's what I mean yeah it is it takes a bit of time and like I think that I'm alright once I get through there but good god

I always sort of think of Bob Mortimer he's got to have two cans of skull to perform I need two cans of skull but people with Bob the thing with Bob Mortimer

is he's a big enough name. People are going to go, Bob, you expect him to be eccentric. You're just a guy. So it's harder. Yeah, it is harder unless you've got a

pedigree. Anyway, so G. Solly, thank you for that. Is he called George? I think it was, yeah. Oh, George. It is George.

First class cricketer who died in 1930. That's not him. Unless he's selling that from beyond the grave. And if he is, that's a waste of a question. Yeah. So that kind of gives you an idea of what Pete thinks about small talk. This is an interesting one from Georgie.

Georgie says, have you seen the story about the Florida man arrested for trying to cross the Atlantic in a hamster wheel? Yes. He threatened to blow himself up or something, didn't he? The great thing about it was... Third time he's done it. Is it up or something didn't he great thing about it third time he's done it is it really yeah so the great thing is he um he was he said he was quote unquote gonna run to london across the atlantic ocean in the homemade vessel resembling a hamster wheel the funniest thing about the story i think is that um he refused to leave the vessel for

three days just like it wasting people's time. The Coast Guard are there, like, come out. No, I'm staying. Come out. America's not normally backwards in coming forward about physically inserting themselves into a situation. But if you can't get in the big hamster wheel,

what can you do? You know, it's like, you don't want another one-man wake on the water, do you? True. I enjoyed the Coast Guard who said an amazing quote. This was a manifestly unsafe voyage. Yeah,

he's had a couple of goes at it and each time his design has been found wanting. Yeah. At some point, you've got to sort of

step back and go, as the Coast Guard, sort of go, fine. Like, just fucking do you. Sign this waiver wait yeah you want to carry on doing it

you're on your own yeah you're on your own like we cannot yeah we cannot spend we cannot risk our lives dealing with your crazy stuff I think I think he's definitely got a sign

some kind of waiver he says he was he was doing it to raise money for a variety of causes including the Coast Guard ironically so well the best thing you can do for us mate is just stay home then the resources aren't quite as stretched are they we've spent three days

out here with you it's an absolute joke yeah anyway like you might think you have control you know running along but you are very much at the mercy of the great swells of the Atlantic Ocean

yeah I think it's and also where's he going to land I applaud the ambition Wales Cardiff I don't think he's thought that through

and is he going to take a waterway down the Thames how's it going to work with that kind of planning there's zero really zero chance he's going to make it no

I don't think he's looked at a map you know that story about Neil Armstrong I think it's Neil Armstrong whoever was in charge of piloting the shuttle that took man to the moon

for the first time to walk on it he said that you know when you start doing the trigonometry basically because of the distance involved yeah if you're off by like

0.01 of a degree you're in you're in the you're going to miss the moon by about fucking 6,000 miles right it's the same with this he's got no clue

how he's going to do it and if he's read even one British newspaper in the last five years why are you coming here we don't yeah

I mean yeah why are you coming here enjoy that weird little floating hotel they've set up for asylum seekers like because that would be funny

because that would be a real well this is how one vessel to another yeah this is how the government what's the difference this one's got dysentery yeah um i um i wouldn't i wouldn't recommend he comes here i don't think he would have planned it properly i did meet someone i might have told you this i met someone in fact i know him fairly well now i've met him a few times at a party a mutual friend who used to live on the ocean. He literally used to live on a yacht. So he would sail.

His job would be to reposition sailing yachts. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. So he would sail like, he told me a story, I think I've said it to you before, where he sailed a yacht from Portsmouth, which is where he lives, to somewhere in,

might have been the Caribbean, I think. Right. Him and his wife. And he said the biggest issue was that he got a sunburned arse. What did he do? He just didn't bother putting any clothes on.

There's no point. He don't see anyone. He's just wandering around. He's perfectly still most of the time. It's amazing. Four or five days without seeing a single other vessel. Right.

After a couple of days, I was like, there's no point getting dressed. I'm just going to dirty my clothes. I don't need to. Weather's beautiful. Yeah. And he said, I remember lying down, reading the book point getting dressed. I'm just going to dirty my clothes. I don't need to. The weather's beautiful. And he said,

I remember lying down, reading the book, getting a really bad sunburnt arse. That was the worst thing that happened. And I thought,

what a simple life. What a simple life. Wow. So anyway, that's Florida, man. for me. Let's take a break. When we come back,

we'll do a few more of these if that's alright with you, Peter. Lovely. They are technically emails. Go back to school with Rogers

and get Canada's fastest and most reliable internet. Perfect for streaming lectures all day or binging TV shows all night. Save up to $20 per month on Rogers Internet. Visit rogers.com for details. We got you.

Rogers. All right, we're back with Luke and Peter Shaw. Luke, what have our emailers brought us today they're not really emailers right it's a modern version of email instagram right okay fine it's like an instagram comment thing on the story okay um what about this um aj kitely whose first name i can't how do you find the first name just click on the thing I guess AJ Kitely Andy Andy

Andy Kitely he says what do you boys think about the mummified Mexican alien I I enjoyed it new stories like this they always get filed

in the Luke this is Luke's forte this is the this is the pilot couple of you guys think I'm a bit conspiracy

on that stuff don't you yeah you're weirdly unhinged about UFOs. But I would say this. I mean, everyone would have seen that story. Just because a bloke manufactured like a quote-unquote alien out of some kind of plaster of Paris and dust

and put it in front of the Congress at an open hearing in Mexico doesn't make it likely to be the case. I don't think it's the same thing as genuine alien UFO. Shit, we don't know what's happening. Yeah, we don't know what's going on. So I think I enjoyed the memes. I enjoyed the story. I don't think it's the same thing as genuine shit that we don't know what's happening. I think I enjoyed the memes, I enjoyed the story, I enjoyed what it looked like. It looked quite funny. But this guy that did it, he's done about three or

four debunked things of this nature anyway. I just never understand why these things cut through. Because he will have done that, he did do that three or four times and for some reason this time maybe because of the declassified files and uh in america we're all on high alert for the old ufos but i just never understand why some stories cut through and you know nine times

at the door there's a uh you know the wrestling company i went to see in japan uh did a wrestling match on a train and you will see that your your story you will have seen murder grandpies known as it's not really a new story though is it what it's not really a new story though is it

well it is it's two men having a big wrestling match on a bullet train the fastest wrestling match ever presumably but who's that of interest to

people who think oh Japan's a wacky isn't it I think the idea about the Mexican alien is just that it was in front

there must be a weird quirk of their constitution where I guess anyone can do like a public hearing or something and he's using that

as a platform to do what he wants to do so the headline writes itself because it's like in Mexican congress this is happening two men wrestling on a train

isn't that important well why is it on all other Sky News then yeah why is it? Well, why is it on all of the Sky News then? Yeah. Why is it all over Sky News for crying out loud? Okay, what about this then? The Shoreham Woodwork Company.

I don't think they should be using a work account for this. Especially when you take into account the account. I mean, to be fair, the woodwork does look very good. Yeah. So look.

I'll show you some bloody woodwork. I'm going to show you right now. Look, there you go. Pretty good stuff. Pretty good stuff. Nice shelving. Pretty solid work. Nice.

Good banister there. Good stairs. Says, when Luke says, I think I'm writing saying, we all know he's just Googled it. Yeah, that's fair. Would you say that my general knowledge is pretty good, though? It is very good, but I think you second-guess yourself too much. You certainly second-guess those around you. That's you, sir.

Because as soon as someone says anything that's got facts and figures in it, Luke is very quiet and looks to his laptop. No, no, no. I've got a very good capacity for knowledge. You do. And I make no apology for that. You do. But every time I do a fact, you go,

Is it? And then, tip-a-tap-a-tip-tap. Right. Laptop's closed. Give me any subject and I'll tell you something about it.

Armadillos. Lemons. Armadillos. Yeah, very good. All right, what about this, Peter? This is a really good question. I like this one.

This one's from, he doesn't have his real name on it, but he's a he's a regular contactor la la la e scott what's the biggest amount of food you've eaten in one sitting oh that's a good point it would have to be one of those like uh italian meals where you think you're finished and then pasta arrives yeah in it whenever I go to like a family I was ready for limoncello

yeah whenever I go to like a family I remember going to a party once in the US Italian American party and I can't remember

what it was for birthday or an engagement or something like that and it was like it was billed as a Sunday lunch yeah

and they bring all the cuts of meat out and all the potatoes and stuff and every single table they had like three bowls of meat out and all the potatoes and stuff and every single table they had like three bowls of pasta on it as well people just spooning pasta onto it

which is not how we do things here no pasta is very much it's just one dish isn't it I would have eaten a lot that day yeah I remember when probably

to be honest I remember being about 16 and going I was in the US with my family and it was my birthday while I was there like my 16th birthday

my 15th birthday something like that and my parents took me out to a restaurant for a birthday kind of dinner thing and I ate so much

that the next day we were flying home and I could not stop puking it was bad but like no one got no one else got ill did you oh did you get but did you get ill just because of the actual um the the the the amount rather than the it was almost a bit like my body had said i never want food again yeah get out i mean everybody get out and now look at me my body's noticeable

by its absence of that opinion now so I reckon I'm someone who can put away quite a lot of food but then sometimes you see these competitive eaters or these guys

who've got records and stuff they're not fat are they no they've got more room for it and they don't have the pressures of the because I guess

if you're wearing a bit of a bit of a bit of a gut I guess that works against you doesn doesn't it? Because it restricts the size of your stomach or what it could be, I suppose.

Yeah. But what I don't understand is that I've been someone who puts on weight and loses weight and it kind of fluctuates quite a bit. And I understand every single time the, I guess, the biology behind that. If I take a chance, I guess, the biology behind that. If I take a chance, if I take the decision now to limit my calorie intake for the next three weeks,

weigh myself now, weigh myself in three weeks, I would have lost weight. Right. That's how it works. I get that. But what I don't understand is I've got friends who I'm not going to name because it wouldn't be fair, who I know, because I've seen them, put away two and a half500 calories just on alcohol in the pub on a Friday night, not including all the other stuff they eat. And they do that twice a weekend every week, and they're skinnier than you. Right.

Yeah. But I mean, is that, I mean, it's just got to be metabolism, but also like... But is the metabolism a thing? Is that actually a thing? Do you not wee a lot of the calorific content out anywhere? Isn't there like 5% of your calorific intake

during the day you can actually work off? Yes, not very much. Everything else is just sleeping and stuff. I think it might be a bit more than that. It's called NEAT, isn't it?

Everything else is just sleeping and eating takes calories as well. And do you know where the weight loss goes and the burning of fat what do you where it goes people think you sweat it out right you don't it's actually exhaled yeah most of it's in carbon dioxide that you exhale yeah that's wild isn't it it's crazy to think of but i don't know because what i the fitness chef on um instagram who is actually good right they've got a lot of scientific qualifications behind him

and he and he basically his thing is he busts all these myths. So he does that every week. He does like five diet phrases that lead to die kind of thing. Detox, all that kind of bullshit. And he just basically says it just comes down to calories in versus calories out, and that's it. And I understand that. And for me, that does work. But I just know empirically of people who take on huge amounts of calories

and don't put on weight. And I'd love to know why that is. But like I said that to my mate Al. He's tiny as well. He's tiny and he's got like he's got a bit of fat on him and he will see off.

He's a big Italian, big pasta guy. He just eats pasta every night and he drinks Craft Ale and all that stuff. But then when I'm sat next to him in a car driving up Liverpool and I've bought us some cream eggs, he's having one and I'm having five out of the pack.

So it's stuff like that where I go, that's not fair. But I go, it is fair because I eat five cream eggs and he only eats one cream egg. How many calories in a creme egg? 200? I think they're very easy to gorge creme eggs. Yeah, I agree. The problem is the attitude that you've mentioned before, which I have as well, where you

take that kind of stuff and you treat it like actual food. Which it isn't. Ball of Haribo, like actual food. Yeah, you shouldn't be like, you should never be like, I'm hungry, I'm going to have three chocolate bars. You should be like, I'm hungry, I'm going to have three chocolate bars. Yeah. You should be like, I'm hungry, I'm going to have a proper snack

or meal and if I feel like it, I'll have half a chocolate bar after. That never happens. No. And I guess you have to train yourself out of, once I've finished any savoury meal, I'm like,

where's the chocolate? Where's the sweets? I'm the same. You have to get stuck in. Where's the fucking sweets? Yeah, I'm the same. Not with sweets, more with like,. You have to get stuck in. Where's the fucking sweets? Yeah, I'm the same. Not with sweets. More with like cakes,

biscuits, chocolate. Mad, isn't it? Sometimes my wife will bake, because obviously my birthday fairly recently, so my wife bakes us a cake and she doesn't really like cake. Right.

It's just me in the house. Yeah. That's going. You know what I mean? When you see someone make a cake though, you realise how much sugar goes in there.

Oh man. It's so much sugar. It's wild. Butter. It's wild. Butter. Butter. Anyway, so that is the culmination of the Instagram comments special. Eat clean, train hard. Dirty.

Wait, yeah. Eat clean, comment dirty. No, don't go. Comment clean, eat clean, train dirty. Yeah. I don't train at all. So thank you very much for listening to that. People were able to get in touch with us on Instagram,

at Luke and Pete Show. We are, of course, across all the other social medias, Twitter, TikTok, YouTube, you'll find us. If you want to email in, we'll do a couple of emails in the shows that are coming along soon. Hello at LukeandPeteShow.com. He's been Pete Donaldson, I've been Luke Moore. We'll see you again on Thursday.

We'll do some Battery Browns then too thanks for tuning in leave us a lovely review if you've enjoyed the show we'd appreciate that a lot but until next time it's goodbye from Peter

goodbye and it's goodbye from me as well farewell The Luke and Pete Show is a Stack production and part of the Acast Creator Network. Today's episode is brought to you by the National Lottery, who've asked us to delve into a question that's had all our minds racing at one point or another. It happens pretty much daily for me, to be honest.

What would you do if you won the jackpot on the National Lottery? And I'd usually be here with just Mr. Lukey. Hello. This is the Luke of Peachtree. What's the story about Jim Campbell from the Football Ramble? It kind of rhymes. How you doing? Hey, how you doing?

You all right? You'll be well known to our listeners because you've guested on a few episodes. I have, yes. So people will feel comfortable and excited that you're here, but comfortable that they know who you are. Absolutely. And we're both men who get involved in the old Direct Debit National Lottery. Absolutely.

So all good. So we think about this a lot, don't we, Jim? Yeah, I daydream about this every day. Good stuff. Well, what would your life look like if you were in the national lottery? We'll start with you, Jim. What was the very first thing you'd do when you find out? How do you think you'd react to the phone call?

I presume it's a phone call. Yeah. Hey, baby, you just won a whole million simoleons or something. I think I'd be numb with shock and excitement for a while. I just think I'd be giddy for ages. The first thing I would

do would be, if she wasn't physically in the room with me, I'd tell my girlfriend, obviously. I think I'd wait for a while, though, before sort of... Just to enjoy it? Yeah, to enjoy it. And I think I'd gather my family around, my close family. Tell them to get lost. You're not getting out. I didn't ask to be born, so don't expect anything.

Yeah, I think I'd keep it quite low-key. There's something very nice about the idea that you can enjoy that moment just to yourself. You haven't got to be performative about it. You can just sit down and go, this is going to be great. Yeah.

Before you start throwing your weight around. You know what? In a department store, like in Pretty Woman. I would definitely need a sit down. Yeah.

Yeah. When I was younger, you'd speak to your granddad or whatever. So what have you been up to today, granddad? And he'd say, just had a bit of a sit down. And when you were young, you'd go, that's not a thing. That's not a thing, yeah. What do you mean? Now it is a thing. Yeah. Yeah. When I was younger, you speak to your granddad or whatever. So what you been up to today, Gran, and he said a bit of a sit down.

And when you're young, you go, that's not a thing. That's not a thing. Yeah. What do you mean? Now it is a thing. Yeah.

Have a bit of a sit down. Make a little Phil Mitchell noise. I've read that according to the national lottery, the thing that the most common thing people say, or the most common thing maybe they even do in is to make a cup of tea. And I can totally see that. Have a cup of tea. Yeah.

So, I mean, you see your numbers come up and like, do you choose your numbers in a specific way or do you do lucky dips? I do a lucky dip. Right, okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm kind of the same a little bit. Moa. What? Purchases. It's not about how lucky you are and how gifted you feel at that moment in time.

It's about going down the shops and buying something. What are you buying first, Luke? Get down in time. It's about going down the shops and buying something. What are you buying first, Luke? Get down to business. I thought about this a lot. I think one of the things that has always been a bit of a bee in my bonnet when it comes to... You've got a big bonnet.

There is. One of the very, very huge amounts of bees in my bonnet is that when you buy a house, necessarily so, you always have to compromise on something. So you're always like, okay, I quite like this, but these are my must-haves. These are my kind of things that,

okay, if I haven't got them, I'll have to just get on with it. If I had a national lottery win, I'm doing everything I want to do with the house. I'm probably going to build my own house to the exact specifications that myself, my wife, and my son want and need. Right.

And I'm not compromising on any of it. Are they voting for that? Because that just means you're in a cabin very far down a very long garden. Yeah, it's true.

It might be a conflict of interest. That's where Daddy lives. Yeah, yeah. At the end of the zip line. We can't all have what we want to have. I think it would be, it's just a very nice feeling

to think, I can go and get myself a house, I'll probably build it myself. I won't build it myself, I'll get someone else to build it. And I won't have to compromise on anything. So for me, it's very much home related. Have you not seen Grand Designs? There's always a compromise. There's always McLeod going, you're not going to be in by Christmas.

A big, I don't care about that. If it's a big national lottery win, I don't care about that. I'll wait then. Mine's sillier than that. What's yours? Plastic grass. Similarly, I would probably have to get the house built. In the roof garden,

and there would be a roof garden, there's a jacuzzi at the top, big jacuzzi. It functions as a pool if you turn it off, as jacuzzis do. That leads to a flume that goes all the way through the house, comes out into a swimming pool at the bottom.

Nice. Swimming pool probably has black tiles. Okay. Because why not? So it looks like it's a bottomless pit. 12-volt lights under the ground, so you can see yourself as you splash into the water. Yeah, why not?

Yeah, why not? Pete, what about you? Mirrored. I'd just be, I'd have my passport on my hand, I'd start walking to Southend Airport, and I'd ring a private jet person and go, get a private jet, Southend Airport,

I'm going to be there in 20 minutes, alright? And I would walk from my house to Southend Airport. Sorry, who's this? It's amazing. It's Elon Musk, get the plane down. These are amazing because these give you a great insight into how Pete's mind actually works. He thinks, the moment he gets a national lottery win,

what number are you ringing? You haven't even said that. You don't know. Don't care. Not going to get in trouble. But I'll get to Southern Airport. I'm like, right. Banging it, wanging it on a big old private jet.

Probably have to stop in Doha or something and get down to Japan. Get myself... Houses are cheap in Japan. Really cheap. Commercial flights are also now very affordable. Commercial flights. He's not bothered about that, no.

Straight to the private jet. Straight to the private jet. Gosh, darn it. But I am getting on that private jet. And by the time I land, I'm going to be also on my phone to a Japanese realtor, which will be just as easy to sort out, I imagine. With your Japanese.

And I'm going to get myself. You're buying some massive fish by accident. I'll order a big beer. I'm landing, I'm getting to a house that I've just bought and I've stayed in a lot of like those kind of like

ryokans with the paper walls. Yeah. And I'm just running around, running through all of them. Oh, that would be cool. Yes. And then I'll have a fella just sort of reattaching

the paper to the walls. Yeah, that's nice. I'd like to say that was unpredictable what you're going to say there, but it wasn't actually that unpredictable. So just like any of us, when it comes to the National Lottery, it could be you. Luke, if you were to play tonight, where would you keep your ticket while you wait

to see if your numbers are going to come up? I've got this box in my house that my wife encouraged me to keep, where it's full of keepsakes and important sentimental things. That's really nice. Yeah, and things always feel really safe in there, and it's always a really nice thing to use. So I'll probably take the ticket and put it in there until I find out what's going on.

Jim? Bedside cabinet. Nice. That's where you keep a lot of it. I just know where it is. There's going to be no confusion, because you don't want the nightmare scenario where the numbers come up and you do not's where you keep a lot of it. I just know where it is. There's going to be no confusion because you don't want the nightmare scenario where the numbers come up

and you do not know where the ticket is. Can I just say that I'm not someone, technically, traditionally, who loses that much stuff. If I just put it in my wallet, I'd still be confident I would keep it safe. I have the vibe a person loses stuff all the time, but I'm just not.

But you don't. No, you don't. Where would you keep yours? You know, like the rotating fan on your ceiling. Just tape it to that. I can see it from wherever I'm in not. But you don't. No, you don't. Where would you keep yours? You know, like the rotating fan on your ceiling. Just tape it to that. I can see it from wherever I'm in the room. Tie it to your dog. Well, thanks to the National Lottery

for allowing us to live out a life full of newfound riches. I know what my next move is, to go get a ticket and start off via the app, punching my lucky numbers, and make all of this a reality. So remember, the National Lottery, it's where your numbers make amazing happen. Whether that's a big jackpot win or helping the National Lottery good causes across the country continue with the amazing work they do.

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