The Luke and Pete Show - Imodium diaries

Episode Date: July 22, 2024

Luke’s crowned himself a born hustler after his recent forays into the world of Facebook Marketplace. Elsewhere, Pete tells us how his nan stole Churchill’s thunder with a bassinet full of babies.Plus, has Sammy shit on the floor in sympathy for Donny’s week of having the runs?Email: [e-mail] or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, this is the Luke and Pete Show. I'm Pete Donaldson, John Williams, Luke and Peter. Hello. My God, Luke, I've only just noticed how much work you've lost. Oh, thank you very much.

Because the shot before Christmas, like, it's absolutely... Go on, say it. It's absolutely night and day. Say it. No, no, it's not particularly terrible, but it is night and day different

facially it's not bad when you're fat shaming man is it well it's it's fine that's allowed

that's allowed I've lost about I've lost about half a stone in a week just by eating that dodgy burger

last week yeah the two bob bits somebody somebody made a point that after we were talking

about me having the two bob bits in the advert break there was an advert for like Imodium or Diacom or something like that it's good stuff

I heard that you should I say this because if they're going to be sponsoring the show maybe I'm going to be I'm going to be stitching ourselves up here but I

a doctor once told me you shouldn't take Imodium unless you absolutely have to because it's your body's way of removing the toxins, if you know what I mean. Let me make this clear. After five days, I absolutely have to because I can't live my life like this.

Yeah. If I'm going to play football on Sunday and my partner shouts out the door, I hope you don't shit yourself. It's a bad time. It's a bad time if I'm constantly worrying about littering the pitch with my effluvia. The last time I used

Imodium would have been the FA Cup semi-final when Portsmouth ended up winning it in 2008. They played West Brom in the semi and I had a ticket and I was ill as fuck and I was like

but I can't miss it and so I I dosed myself up it's good stuff though isn't it it does actually work like with it I mean

I'm not giving I mean if Immodium want to give us proper sponsorship because as far as I could tell they've just run a little advert

that we don't have any say in they've just popped that in the ad break um if they want to you know if they want some testimonials about how my week's been they probably don't want me detailing too much how it's all gone quite a difficult product to advertise i reckon it very much is it's very much like when they used to advertise um sanitary products in the 80s and they used blue liquid yeah because people can't handle it. Can't handle red. Yeah.

Couldn't handle red, for crying out loud. But how would, if you were advertising Imodium, because you famously the other day only just picked up like 30 years later that Peperami's tagline was like a double meaning. Yeah. Oh God, I had another kind of idiot, I think they call it an idiotic Eureka moment,

today. And I was thinking, God, that's like the bloody pepperami thing. I should write that down. It's the pepperami thing. You try to quite, if you don't mind me saying, in quite a low rent way, you try to push it onto me and pretend that I didn't know what it was either. No, no, no, no, no.

No, me and Jim didn't know what it was. Me and Jim clearly didn't know what it was. And so, like, we... Look, we've all been badly behaved in in in our euro shows because you you said i don't know anything about albania today show fuming that was a guess absolutely fuming this is why i don't get competitive this is why i don't get competitive because if i try people say what does pete know about anything oh fine i won't bother next time then let's undercut the entire idea of competition shall shall we? Oi, listen. I knew this was coming.

Did you notice, if you listen back now, when I said that at the time, I was like, oh, he's going to get pissed off about that. Right, I am pissed off about that. I was walking the dog about half an hour ago.

Furious. I was really nice to you for about 10 minutes after. Furious. Notice, you've got to go back and listen because I made out my waiting. I'm not noticing. I couldn't hear anything.

The red message ascended. Oh, I've blown it I can't bring it back I should have asked Rory to cut it out that's what I do sometimes I don't care but I don't

look I know about as much about Albania as I know about anything but I would say it undercuts me getting involved in the whole

nonsense of competition you're being too sensitive know your role know your role I did eat the roll and I've got the shits for the week my role is to nonsense of competition. You're being too sensitive. Know your role. Know your role. I did eat the roll and I've got the shits for the week. My role is to

very earnestly and passionately say a load of stuff which later gets proven to be incorrect by a proper journalist a week later. I've accepted it.

A week? It's okay. A day or two. A day or two. You've just got to accept it, mate. Yeah. You picked out

a bane you're out of a hat because you probably I didn't I read a nice in fact I read a nice few pieces and I like the manager and there was a

J. Lee K. Lee connection as well just listen just listen I know so we're talking for those people who don't know

we're talking about the Euro 2024 predictions that we had to do for the Ramble our football show yes and I know for a fact because I see this stuff

that you missed the fucking deadline and you chucked it in late doors no I chucked it in before England had played kicked a ball

all I'm saying is if the cap fits if the cap fits sometimes one has to wear the cap I don't suit a cap I look like Jonathan King speaking of which

have you got a little Shoreditch Samurai going on today? Um, yeah, I mean that is something else, isn't it? What are you doing? I don't know if I'm trying to have an haircut, do I? So this is what's happened. Cut it yourself. What is that at the back?

It's like Aussies have gone back to... The same haircut as my one-year-old son. Who's never had his haircut. Aussies have gone back to the whole kind of shave the sides, mullet-y sort of vibes. I might do that. I just need the hair

out of my face, man. It's doing my nutting. That's what people were doing in 2010, that haircut. True. And you're 43 now. Look at that. I don't have anything to show.

I don't have any reason to be putting my hair up in a little bun. But, yeah, that's all I've got. That's the time. Can't you just slick it back? Again, it just unfurls itself.

I've got such thin hair. There's no product on earth that can even get involved. Same with me because I've got the art garf, uncle. I can't get it to stay in one place. The wife I have access to this morning was like, oh, I've just bought some new shampoo and it's really expensive so can you um not use it all right yeah yeah that's fine you gotta try it though you gotta you gotta try it almost immediately first thing you gotta do because

i'll have she's not in there when i'm having a shower so that doesn't work unless she's gonna do the andy gorham and put a marker pen on the uh bottle um but i looked at it and it's like oh volumizing shampoo or whatever i went out there i said what part of this do you think needs volumizing it's the last thing i need i don't need that i need the opposite to that so i'm never going to use it it's going to make my hair even worse than it is now yeah me and my partner having a pitch battle on the amount of donuts in the house and i'm like you've got to eat we've got to eat the donuts now.

Otherwise they'll go off. And Sarah is very much here. What brand are you talking about? They're like, Shainsbury's kind of Vaughan really. They're kind of in-store bakery jobs, I think. You know,

you can microwave them for five seconds and they get fresh again. What? What? I guess they are just fried dough, aren't they? So that would kind of work, wouldn't it?

I think it's got to do with the heat, the warmth. It does something with the kind of elasticness of the dough. Right. Yeah, that would make sense. But if they're jam ones, don't do it for more than five seconds because the jam gets so hot and it ruins the whole thing. I'm bloody near. It's their custard ones.

I think it would be even better. I'm going to do that when we get back in the house. I haven't bought custard doughnut for ages I think they're the best ones I can't be I can't be messed with remember like back in the 80s I was talking about this

yesterday you used to have like eat a jam doughnut without licking your lips competition yeah that was what passed for entertainment then

it was yeah what was the other ones it was like other other ones stuff you had to eat rub your stomach and pat your head rub your stomach and pat your head.

Rub your stomach and pat your head. That was a real... We really had... There really was times where we had nothing on. And I don't think the things we've filled our lives with now are much better, to be honest. I've become a real... I'm on your Facebook meme about that. I've become a real Facebook...

Whatever their short form videos thing is. People cleaning stuff. People dirtying stuff up. People popping pimples, cysts in the old horse feet and stuff. Speaking of Facebook, I was late for the record today because of a Facebook marketplace drama.

Right. So I've only recently taken to Facebook marketplace. Only ever sell, never buy. Yeah, okay. But I'm selling all the baby stuff in a race against time before the wife i have access to who just give it away yes okay yeah and some of the stuff you know i mean we're talking premium brands yeah when you're being earnest and thinking oh what could be more important than spending money on my newly born son? Yeah. You end up getting the best stuff.

Yeah. So we're talking like Baby Bjorn and Bugaboo. And if you have a second, that's not happening. That's not happening. You just get like a chain to chain them to a radiator. Well, I think it's just a necessity thing because let me make it absolutely clear to those listening who don't have children. Give yourself nine months to 12 months max, you're bankrupt.

So you don't have children give yourself nine months to 12 months max you're bankrupt so you don't you don't have um you don't have the option have the option of buying nice things and you don't have storage to keep any of this stuff to the turns up yeah no room yeah and and i would say that like i have been sorry i mean crack on with uh with your your your issues the conversation was stop giving stuff away. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, then you have to sell it. Fine. Facebook marketplace. I managed to successfully sell a baby bouncer.

Right, okay. Which I'm quite happy with. And then, I forgot to tell you this. Are you always underwhelmed with the amount of money you get? Well, you know me, right? I love the hustle. I love the negotiation right that's the thing they the people on the other side of it they don't know that i like i live in the darkness

i'm bane i'm the fucking bane of this yeah but that's the thing that i live out in essex where everyone's a bit of a hustler where you live there's a lot of people like me in there true actually yeah little liberals little liberal wet wipes, that's a good point, actually. I didn't think of it that way. So maybe I just need to up my game. Maybe I need to step up a league, move to Essex and see how I get on there. But for now,

so I sold this baby bouncer, right? Baby Bjorn, good stuff. Yeah. Like 150, 200 quid. Yeah. What, with the googly eyes toy accessory as well? Yes, please. They were queuing up to buy it, right?

I managed to get about 80 quid for it which i was happy with um but when they turned up they said oh i can't um i can't come pick it up until like 8 8 p.m or whatever i was like okay that's fine yeah just just um do me a favor though message me when you turn up outside don't ring the doorbell because i don't want to wake up my son fine and they turned up and it was this um pregnant lady obviously and her husband and so i went down with the baby bounce there you go they're really nice and they were so nice i used the money yeah great yeah i said oh you congratulations you know all this kind of stuff and i thought to myself i sniff an opportunity here yeah okay i've got 1800 quids worth of buggy in the hot in the

corridor don't need it don't need it anymore. Why? Because they're walking? No, because we use the travel one now. Oh, right. It's more versatile. He doesn't need the big one anymore. And it's got a bassinet attachment, which is worth a lot more. Is bassinet the thing where you put the baby in, effectively?

Yeah, it's like a crib. Right. Because my nan used to be a nurse in the war and she once had like a massive trolley filled with babies. Do you know what I mean? Like a big bassinet. No, I don't know what you mean. What are you talking about?

My nan, she was in the war. Just reword the sentence. My nan in the war had a big basket full of babies. No, that's the same thing. That's the one, isn't it? What do you mean? Big basket. Imagine a big basket that is about the size of a small,

sort of like one of those kind of like two-man cars you see that are electric. Yeah, massive, absolutely massive. And she was pushing this trolley around and it was just filled with babies, absolutely filled with babies. What do you mean by that? She worked for presumably an orphanage, I guess.

Full of babies, right? Yeah? So imagine a big trolley full of babies, a big bassinet full of babies. Please stop saying it. And she was working in London, and she was pushing these babies past Speaker's Corner. And apparently Winston Churchill was doing a speech.

Huh. I think pre-war. Probably put him right after that. What are 28 babies doing in this one massive trolley? What's happening? And so apparently all the people who should have been watching what Winston Churchill had to say for himself turned and were cooing at the big bassinet full of babies.

So when I see the word bassinet, I always think of my nan with a big trolley full of babies distracting the Prime Minister. That's a brilliant story. Yeah. I mean, it's been appallingly told, but it's a really good story. I've got someone on Facebook Marketplace on the...

Can I finish my story? On the hook. Yeah, go on. Oh, yeah, sorry. I'm happy to... You were trying to upsell people in need. I'm happy to give way to the honourable member for Winston Churchill,

but I'm not going to give away just for you to do your own fucking shit Marketplace story. At least let me get mine done. So anyway, I thought to myself, I smell an opportunity here. And I'll be totally honest, and perhaps self-awareness isn't my forte, but on this occasion,

I will accept that I was perhaps quite aggressively trying to sell this buggy to them. I said, look, you can take it away now, 300 quid or whatever. And they were like, oh, well, we don't really know what we want. I was like, it's a great deal. You're going to have to go to John Lewis. You're going to pay four times that. You should give it a go.

Come and have a look at it. So they came and had a look at it. And as I came into the bit of the house downstairs just before the stairs up to our flat it's just by this time it's like 20 past 8

yeah and I saw them with the Wi-Fi that access to just lean down the stairs and go what are you doing just come in

I was like alright sorry I said oh yeah just let me know if you want it and obviously I haven't heard anything from them since they just wanted to get out of there oh no

but anyway the drama I had today was that I've also sold this baby carrier oh yeah, just let me know if you want it. And obviously I haven't heard anything from them since. They just wanted to get out of there. Oh no. But anyway, the drama I had today was that I've also sold this baby carrier. Right. You know, you strap it, you strap the baby to you and it's like, it's a pretty good one. It's like fully adjustable. And actually to be totally honest,

this is not just me trying to sell it. We never use it that much because our son didn't really get on with it and it was a bit of a hassle and so he's never bothered and um and so i sold it and i've sold it for um for 30 something quid which is fine yeah and and then they message saying oh yeah i'm in the area i can come pick it up in a minute and i looked at the listing and i was like oh and i've sold it on the predicated on the fact that it's got the manual with it i I do not know where the manual is. You can download them.

Yeah, I feel a bit like it's a bit of a piss take, though. I just don't think with products like that, though, you look at it and spend enough time with it, you'll figure it out, won't you? Luckily, I managed to put them off till 7pm, so what I can do is once I finish with this, I can just go and find it. It'll be in my house somewhere.

Anyway. What if you don't have a bumpy introduction? I'm stressed out now. You've got a manual search against time now. Some people are selling cars on the fucking thing. I saw my car on Facebook Marketplace. That's mental. I'd never buy a car on Facebook Marketplace.

Why? What's the difference? You get a better price. You get a better price than all of us. Yeah, I just would buy one from someone. I mean, I'm never buying a car. Respectfully, I like you, and I love you as a friend and stuff, but I'm not buying a car off you.

Well, I hate to bring down car alley again. I hate to take it down men and motors motorway again. Jo Guest, she's involved. Jo Guest. God, do you remember Jo Guest? She was everywhere. Yeah, I bought that car, that bloody Jaguar, and the man said, right,

remember I said the boot was full of water? Water. Yeah. I bought that car, that bloody Jaguar, and the man said, right, remember I said, like, the boot was full of water. Water. Yes. Changing my accent. The boot was full of water, and he basically said, when the man at the used car lot, like, as I was leaving, he said,

don't put it through one of those automatic car washers because it messes up the paint and i and i took that on board you know man knows his cars know what he's doing um good good to know but thinking back the only reason why he told me not to do that is because he knew fully well that there was a hole that leading to the boot that would absolutely be filled up with one visit to the fucking car wash and it only clicked just today i was like that fucker it's like carsoze it was just i'm so unbelievably thick look it's awful i have been thick so how have you cleaned the car up until now um i mean i took it through a couple

of times but i'd only fixed the the leak because i am a responsible car owner. So I sold it on to the people from Fizip Marketplace with a new belt, new fluids, fixed thing. You know, all stuff that needed to be fixed got fixed. Four new wheels. Thank you very much. Find you a man that can do it all. Making the world a little bit better. But I get on Fizip Marketplace, I've got a message literally waiting for me. I was chucked something up for 100 pounds.

And I've had quite a few bites. And a few people just sort of went, yeah, I'll come and get it. It's not important what it is. You make it sound like it's a sex toy or something. It was a desk. It was a desk. It was a sex swing. It was a desk.

And I put it on there. And it was like 100 pounds. And somebody said, what's the best price you can do? And I was like, all right. So I've been sat around for a bit. Just, you know, just give a 70 and, you know, you can walk away. And the thing was like 200 quid about two months ago. And then they come back.

A woman called Caitlin. Is that your very best price? oh fuck off and I was like that's why I haven't got the patience for it I can't be arsed can't be arsed no

I end up saying something saying that thing I put it up for like 35 quid and the person was like would you accept 31 pound 50? I was like fucking yes alright just fucking get out of my face just give me 30.

I don't want the £1.50. Idiot. exactly. Now you are going to basically demean all of us by giving me coins in the street. Oh,

speaking of which, speaking of which, I was cycling, it's just reminding me of this. I was cycling home the other day and for those who are familiar with the area,

I was cycling up the hill out of Brixton towards towards Tulse Hill. I guess it's probably Tulse Hill. Yeah, I was cycling up um the hill out of brixton towards um towards tolsk hill i guess it's probably tolsk hill yeah i was cycling up tolsk hill yeah and um i was nowhere around i worked um quite late and it was pretty you know pretty late what i've been doing i don't know what i've been doing oh i'll tell you what i've been doing this is makes it a fucking entirely

different story and makes me sound like a clown but i was at the um tortoise media election party so it was election night right fourth of july um and it went on till late and so i didn't actually stay to the end but i um i um did they go through the night it went on till three yeah right wow um but i'll tell you a bit about that in a minute but anyway the point the entry into the story is that um i was cycling on this abandoned road on Tulsa Hill. And I found, I saw a fucking £10 note in the road. What? Right? And I was fucking believing.

Libber. Putting money in your pocket immediately. What a fucking great start. What a great start to the new government. Fucking literally money in the street. And so I pulled the old limey bee over, grabbed the £10 note, and just, you know what? It could be someone who actually,

I mean, look, it's great for me to have £10, but it could be something that someone really needs, right? So I don't want to fucking steal it. So it was right next to a Tesco um petrol station all night garage thing so i just walked in there and the bloke three vips please sir three three tins of vip juice and you just drank them on the fuck up uh oi give me all the haribos you got i said to the guy was there um do you know you know is there a cash point here?

Because someone's dropped a £10 note. And he was like, no, no, but I can keep it for you if you want. And I was like, yeah, I bet you fucking can, big boy. No way. I've worked jobs like this. Yeah, so I just took it

and I gave it to the lady who sells the Big Issue by the Sainsbury's and just said, look, don't give me any change, just give me a Big Issue. And that was that. So you're up a Big Issue. It was super exciting to find a £ 10 pound note in the street but anyway um so the tortoise media party was

interesting and it's funny and i'll tell you a story the other side of the break about um about about something that happened while i was there all right then we're back with the look and picture i'm pete dulcimer joined by mr lukie mo. Lukey Moore and Lukey Moore has been burning the candle at both ends. The Tortoise Media candle. Yeah, I'm sorry it's taken until like the 22nd as you're allowed to tell this story, but I completely forgot about it.

And some would say that actually doing an unplanned show with two presenters who can't remember a thing is a false errand. Well, we've got different types of memory, I think. Both equally bad, but in different

ways. You're impressed by my memory because I can remember song lyrics and lines from TV shows. It's not that useful in real life, Peter.

Right, okay. And you obviously can't remember a fucking thing, so that's how it goes. So, do you reckon people listening will know what Tortoise

Media is? I mean, an explainer wouldn't take that long it's a good podcast company isn't it? I mean it podcasts it's like a news company though isn't it?

it does podcasts as well right they're supposed to be the antidote to kind of yeah there's they need to get their branding better there's

it's like there's supposed to be a reaction to modern fast-paced news right? it's supposed to be like it's not breaking news it's like it's like there's supposed to be a reaction to modern fast paced news, right? It's supposed to be like, it's not breaking news. It's like,

it's considered interesting in depth news. And I got an invite, somehow scored an invite to the Tortoise election night party, because I do a lot of politics stuff. But they did like a nine at PM till 3am party. But of course the exit poll was the big moment. And that was at 10pm. So I didn't bother to answer the end. I was like, well, no one's staying around

for five hours. No. I've seen your castle call. I've seen Sunderland call. But it was quite a lot of interesting people there. So when the exit poll came in, I was standing next to Boris Johnson's sister. Oh, right. Okay.

Which is quite funny. But anyway. Was she a big, I can't remember whether she was a big player in it all. I can't really remember. Was she ever kind of pulled into stuff? She's got a podcast series now about Neil Gaiman, weirdly. Oh, he's a difficult... Well, I think that's partly the subject of the podcast.

Ah, I see. But I believe she's a journalist by trade. I don't know what... I've never consumed any of her content I thought that only came out this week interesting well I don't know

I don't know anyway you'll love this Donny because you know like you always accuse me of being like

if I meet someone that I'm interested in for the first time I'm really intense and I ask them those questions right no I think you accuse, it sounds like you accuse yourself.

I don't think I've necessarily accused you of any of that. I wouldn't say that's your massive, massive defining characteristic. Anyway, I managed to either bore or frighten someone to such an extent that they made their excuses and left.

And you'll love this. And they were a war reporter. Yes. My mate at Marble Bar was like, I mean, he was a photojournalist in Sarajevo. What have you been asking him? I was just really interested in his career. What were you asking him?

I was just really interested in his career. Right, okay. And it started off great. They want, I mean, I think people want somewhere in the middle, don't they? They don't want people to be, I think you've got to kind of treat someone mean to keep them keen in that situation. You've got to sort of go, oh, what's your, like, get their name a bit wrong.

You know, neg them a bit. Don't like your top raggy Omar. Is this your pick-up artist skill? Yeah. Don't like your hair, Aidy. raggy or more just your pick up artist skill don't let your hair

AD I always find that in that situation I I decide myself that their career is like genuinely impressive

and as a result I've got nothing to offer so I just ask them yes okay I just think they're never gonna care what I'm fucking doing because it's boring

right and after a while I just think they simply get bored of the questions okay right they don't want to know it's very much like when I met that woman who was in charge of that company that used to do those put-together-your-own-dinosaur magazines.

Oh, nice. I had so many questions about, what happens if you put them together and you die? Do families demand bits of the dinosaur? Apparently, they do. Really? It's kind of like, my dad's dead, but he was in the middle of building the Millennium Falcon.

He's missed a few issues. Can I have some bits to put together this Millennium Falcon in my dad's memory? Do they make him pay? I don't know. I don't know. I can't remember that particular situation. Would you make him pay?

I think, look, it's a capitalist enterprise. They should pay yeah definitely because isn't it the thing do you think a man who flew the millennium falcon would i think he'd probably demand a bit of cash wouldn't he that was kind of his in one yeah that's kind of his vibe true i think also isn't it true like you get you they get you in with the 99p introductory offer then every issue is like eight quid after that and it ends up costing you two grand for a fucking plywood dinosaur it's crazy

what was I saying and anyway so yeah so that was the set of war reporter fantastic yeah I actually went on my own

and I didn't really know anyone and so I'd love to be you on the back foot oh delicious I didn't say I was

on the back foot I said I didn't know anyone I was fucking loving it actually got a piece of quiet sitting at a really nice venue on a sofa drinking a drink it was great

I'd still be sat there now if no one disturbed me yeah and the great thing is there's not really any crossover so there's no there's no kind of like what

stories can't get back to us? What do you mean? No, I mean no one knows who I am and they come over and ask me about anything. True, yeah, yeah, that's fair. If it was a football event for podcasting, it would be slightly different, I think. Yeah.

But listen, I think we can't all be alphas like you, mate. No, I know, big dogs. Social butterflies. Speaking of that, speaking of that, we got a lot of, a lot of interest in your dog rubbing his nutsack on your head.

Yeah, Sarah said, Lola does not wee on the bed. She has got an ectopic urethra. Ureta. Ure... No, urethra's, urethra's man.

Yeah. Man. Ureta. Ureta? Uterus. Nah, I think it's a pipe called the urethra's man. Yeah. Man. Ureter. Ureter? Uterus. No, I think it's a pipe called the ureter. You were like, ma'am, I don't understand a word you just said. Ma'am, I will just continue saying what I want to say.

So does she wheel on the bed or not? She has been known to... When she's in season, she's slightly incontinent because of a damaged or malformed ureter, which presumably is in the same ballpark as the uterus. What are you doing? I don't know.

Is it good to have her on the bed then or do you think or no? It's lovely to have her on the bed. It's fine. It's absolutely fine. And is Sammy maintaining his alpha alpha-ness uh trying to climb on my head and rub his balls in my face it's uh it's it's most it's most unwelcome uh he did he did he's not being well and he he did go downstairs uh last night do a poo on the floor so

um it's just all good stuff and my house smells nice um we have the thing is you never smell of dog do you know what really wow and you would tell me and I've said that before I said Luke I appreciate

there's not many people in my life who would do that and I am constantly paranoid that I stink of dog no you don't smell of dog and I think I would tell you

and plenty of people who have dogs do smell of dog and it's a very distinctive smell but I think the key is to get the dog regularly shampooed right or is that not the key is to get the dog regularly shampooed, right? Or is that not the key?

I mean, yeah, we're not great at that, to be honest. So I don't know. I don't think Border Terriers are that stinky. And they're not necessarily, they're not big water dogs. They don't sort of hang out in the water all that much. And they're not particularly stinky dogs in the grand scheme. Why do they do a poo on the floor? What?

Because the back door was locked because it is night time. Because it is 3am, Sammy, and we can't have the back door open, all right? Because you'd be fighting with the foxes. So did you deal with that at the time or did you wait till the morning? I didn't know he'd done it until I came downstairs in the morning. I was like, oh, at least it was a tidy one. I think dog owners can all appreciate at least it was a tidy one. It was very pick-up-able on some wooden floorboards.

So who has the responsibility of dealing with that? The person who sees it? Oh, very. Smelled it, dealt it. No, I think it's whoever sees it. I have certain techniques that I will be able to um liberate dog poo from in between uh wooden um floorboards which i think is a skill um that not many people have it involves a piece of metal i use just for that um just for that skill i remember do you know what speaking of that i remember producer rory on his second day working with us,

he was APing on a Ramble episode that Jules was presenting. And Jules was like, oh, Luke, I need to bring my dog in because the doggy daycare thing is closed. Do you mind? And I was like, nah, I'll be fine. It's only 45 minutes recording, whatever. The team will love it. It's fine.

And I remember the dog coming into the into the um office and the first thing it did is took a massive shit on the floor and rory's like oh what should i do i was like i don't know mate pick it up he's like all right it's on the second day i think i think i think not i think if you're a dog person that's like what offered ducks back but if you if you just don't have never looked after dogs, I think it's kind of like... I love telling the team that actually in a small company like ours, everyone has to muck in.

But I think there's that. I mean, to be fair, I think the dog did do a poo behind the sofa and nobody noticed for weeks and it just dried up. Don't say weeks, it makes us sound like a laughing stock. Goldhanger don't have that. Goldhanger probably doesn't have a studio. Oh, that's a dig. Well, that's a dig.

That's a dig. I mean, have you seen... I love the rest of politics, but it's just... They're recording all over the gaff. Sometimes they're together. I think sometimes they do it at Spotify, don't they? Right, okay.

Let me see. Yeah, Spotify. Because Spotify said to stack at it at Spotify's, don't they? Right, okay. I see. Yeah, Spotify. Because Spotify said to Stack at one point, yeah, don't forget you can use our studio any time. We're all part of it. We'll do it for the love of podcasting. Never heard from them again. Can we use it?

No, it's busy. No, it'll go back to us. No, it's busy now. On that note, before we end up flagging off the rest of the podcasting industry, which is a hobby of mine, we should get out of here. Tottenham is good. Good can of pears.

Yes, we'll be back on, god, what day is it? Thursday. Thursday. We'll be back on Thursday, 25th of July. Look after yourselves. In the meantime, I've been Pete. Luke, who have you been? However you want me to be, baby. Alright then. We'll see you soon The Luke and Pete Show is a Stack production

and part of the ACAST Creator Network.