The Luke and Pete Show - It's A F***ing Emergency

Episode Date: May 31, 2021

On today’s show, Luke and Pete are reunited as Pete updates us live from a deep, dark corner of Canterbury where he’s been enjoying some MSG-covered oysters. Meanwhile, Luke’s got a fancy new WhatsApp profile picture to share…Also on today’s show, we’ve got news on Bernie Sanders’ Gatorade and unsalted cashew nut diet, Pete’s top tips on why you *shouldn’t* be drinking water and our most incredible driving test failure story yet.GET IN TOUCH! There's nothing we love more than reading out your nonsense on the show. Drop us an email over at [e-mail] or get involved on our Twitter/Instagram @lukeandpeteshow. THANKS!If you're enjoying what you hear, go and drop us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. 5 stars will do. Cheers! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Can't repeat, talk talk, moshi moshi, this is the Luke Peat Show, it is Monday the 31st of May, the sun is shining, the birds are singing it in many parts here in the UK, apologies if it's raining away, you are Pete Donaldson with you, Luke Moore has returned, hello Luke Moore, how you doing mate? Sun is shining, the weather is sweet, makes you want to move those dancing feet, I'm alright, I'm pleased to be back, pleased to, you got to spend some time, some quality time with young Vish. Yes. I'm pleased to be back. I was in the Lake District last week.

I'll tell you more about that shortly, I'm sure. But how are you, Pete Donaldson? I was just saying, wasn't I, that for the first time in God knows how long, I haven't actually seen you for a week and a half. So it's very exciting. Yeah, I imagine you're well up for for for hanging out with me for an hour or two i always have to regard this show who's been saying who's been saying things again who's been trying to drive a wedge between the greatest podcast

love affair in the north london area for a bit the gill the gill off the it's kind of fallen off the lily a little bit because we just sort of haven't seen each other in a little while. But I think now we're back together, everything's going to be fine. I'm in deepest, darkest Canterbury in an Airbnb, which can mainly be described as

rather chaotic. I'm also in a place, I'm also heading to the zoo as well, very soon. We talked about that a few weeks ago, where I bought a'm also heading to the zoo as well very soon we talked about that a few weeks ago I bought a pair of tickets to the zoo once more because I'm a man who loves the zoo so yeah I'm away you're back let's see what

happens next week I'm working on a back holiday you are working as well but you are doing it from I don't think I've ever heard Canterbury described as deep as dark as Canterbury before. No. I mean, it's the Garden of England, Kent famously.

I think Canterbury is probably one of the nicer places around, is it? Yeah, almost walking distance to Whitstable if you're a very fast walker or you can walk as fast as a car. Ate a lot of oysters yesterday on the beach, which was very nice. Got a little bit too windy, though. Got a little bit too windy. It was a little bit much. I waited for half an hour to collect my six oysters from the oyster man.

How's your tummy after the oysters? Fine. Oysters never bother me. It's overeating, congealed MSG-covered Chinese food, which is always the way. So, no, everything's fine and all tummy down. But you brought your own MSG for the oysters though, right? You just top it up.

I don't know why we don't carry our own MSG around because sometimes food can be quite bland. I'm going to do like a Beyonce and instead of keeping hot sauce in my bag, it's just going to be a little white packet of MSG, which I can see no problem with when getting into places. I can definitely see at some point you confusing that with the silica gel you get in new shoes.

Have you ever put any of that in your mouth? I know they say don't put it in the mouth, but I mean, put it in your mouth, but just don't swallow it or choke on it. It's fine. All it does is it just absorbs some of the water in your mouth. It's fine. Absolutely fine.

Lugapiccio recommended. Yeah. All it does is it just absorbs some of the water in your mouth. It's fine. Absolutely fine. Lugapiccio recommended. Yeah. I think that that is up there with the very best of the worst advice you've ever given people. Along with don't drink water. If anything, anyone drinks too much water. True. It's definitely up there with that.

You're absolutely right about the water. I'm sorry to revisit this, but you're absolutely spot on to say that until about 10 years ago, maybe 15, people weren't talking about drinking water all the time. Younger listeners of this show

will be surprised to hear this, but actually, people weren't drinking water all the time. If you were going to the shop to buy a drink, you weren't buying

a bottle of water. Now it's everywhere. Everywhere. All kind of different flavours. Bit of peach in it, bit of raspberry raspberry in it just have water or don't have water don't try and jazz it up for the for the snapchat generation god damn it yeah and one thing i've noticed as well on the running order since i've been away um is that um for some reason it's been added onto added onto a running order for potential topics to talk about today the running order that you

only found out about about two months ago, despite we've been in the show for three years, or whatever it is, four years almost now. Someone's put on the running order, Luke has a fancy new WhatsApp profile picture. You do have a fancy WhatsApp picture. I genuinely don't know what it is. I'm going to have to check it. Well, I checked it. I didn't know about it.

And it was on the running order. Clearly, producing that did it. And yeah, you've got a fancy new WhatsApp pictureapp picture and it's you in a there it is yeah i mean i mean i'm not sort of breaking any uh cord of confidence or anything but uh you know a ring of silence or anything you are wearing a bow tie yeah and there's a reason for that. Right. It's two-pronged. First of all, the reason for the bow tie is that I was at a 1920s-themed fancy dress party. Right. And I'll be honest, I hate fancy dress parties as much as you love them.

So you can imagine the amount of thought that went into that. So I think I just grabbed a bow tie from somewhere. And secondly, when I changed my WhatsApp profile picture a while back, I didn't clock that I was wearing the bow tie. I just thought that I looked quite handsome. And so I put it in there and it's now come back to haunt me. Look, it's a slippery slope and it will end up with you buying a penny farthing, I'm sure. And a straw boater. You didn't have a straw boater on. That would have kind of set off the look quite nicely.

I didn't think it through. I put about as planning into fancy dress parties but as you do into business i put a lot of work into business calls i make sure i set my makeup properly i sort of make sure my microphone's working i don't do it for lucan pete let's make that very clear if anybody heard the show a couple of weeks ago but yeah i don't mean i don't i don't mean that in an unfair way what i mean is you are much more likely than me to go, oh shit, yeah, I've got that meeting later. Do you know what I mean? That's what I'm like with fancy dress parties.

Oh shit, I've got that fancy dress party. I've done nothing. Whereas you for fancy dress parties, famously, you'll drop a grand on like an Edward Scissorhands costume and get the makeup done and everything. Do you know what I mean? It's different. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I work hard to show off. Because I've been in the showing off business for a very long time. Luke, you came to it a little later than me. So you're kind of still kind of playing catch up. I merely adopted the darkness. You merely adopted the darkness. Yeah, so what's been going on

like over the past like week or so? Obviously, I haven't seen you. You had Jim on the show and then you had, yeah, we did a week of me, didn't we? Then we had Vish and then, yeah, we're back together again. Yeah. I think that's how it went.

I don't know where you went on your holiday. I can't remember. We talked about it already. I went to the Lake District. I got back yesterday. So as you guys know, my wife always likes to be outside. She's an outside science-y kind of person. And we're always going away doing

outdoorsy type things and we decided because we haven't had a holiday for for a while and that we would just do a week in the lake district instead um but obviously the fact that we were just going to drive there so we saved money on flights we saved money on holidays we haven't had so we were able to go to like a really nice guest house and stay there for a week in Windermere, right on Lake Windermere. It's absolutely beautiful. And do you know what, Pete? I'll tell you something now.

We had three hours total of rain in a whole week in the Lake District, which is incredible, right? It was incredible because we've had nothing but rain over the past few weeks. It's been bloody awful, Luke. So we had the best of the weather. We spent a lot of time outside.

I climbed the Old Man of Coniston. I mean, why have they named it that? I think for some reason. So for some reason, and perhaps one of our lovely listeners would be to tell us this. I mean, I could just ask my wife, but that wouldn't make for good content, would it?

No. One of our listeners could tell us that why there are so many kind of hills slash fells slash pikes slash mountains named the Old Man of this. Because there's the Old Man of Storr. I was engaged to my wife on the Old Man of Storr, beautiful part of the Isle of Skye,

and the Old Man of Coniston. It must be something to do with the rock formation that looks like an old man's face or something. But they've all got kind of quite colloquial names. Like when I was in Scotland in September last year, we climbed climbed the cobbler which at the top has got this rock formation that does actually look from one angle like an old man bent over a a kind of what would it be like a shoe making oh right okay i wasn't enjoying the words old man bent over i mean nobody wants to see that well you're looking at one now mate a big a big goatee man and the old man

come in the cave i can't give you more wholesome content than walking out in the lake district and you are bringing goatee to the table donaldson you are a man you are an agent of chaos an agent of chaos but anyway so we climb the old man constant which is a reasonable effort it's not by any means that you know it's not a scarf ale pike but it's up there and um but it makes such a difference when you get to the top and you can see for miles around and i'm pretty sure um and do do correct me if i'm wrong guys who are listening i'm pretty sure i could see the isle of man from the top of the albany constant the visibility was so good it was just an incredible experience and what we did pete you're like this we planned to do a bit of wild swimming on the way up

okay right so in that part of the world they call these mountain lakes tons so it's um it's just a phrase from t-a-r-n times there's a time on the way up the old man of coniston there's hardly one there and uh mimi and i were like look we're gonna go wild swimming so we packed extra weight in our bags a towel and all that kind of caper that you need to go swimming. Got there, got changed, put a foot in the water and it was ridiculous. It was the coldest water, I think, since I've been in Iceland. Right. Right.

So cold. And my wife's a lot more stubborn than me. Right. So she was like, look, we've come all the way up here. I'm hot from walking hills. I'm going in anyway. And bless her, she went in anyway,

but looked entirely uncomfortable the whole time as I went up to about my knees. So she won that round. Yeah. But it was nowhere near. Because you know, like if you get seduced

into looking at what's happening on Instagram, you think, oh, wild swimming, it'll be amazing. It'll be really glamorous. It's going to be beautiful. There'll probably be a waterfall and I'll probably see

this giant turtle that will come along and there'll be a mermaid on the other side of the lake and it'll you know and it wasn't any of that there was like flies everywhere and it was freezing cold and i think when you sort of jump in because i've i've jumped in i've been in like an eco hotel where they've had uh they've got like an outside pool but they've also got like a an outside um sort of natural pool So it's not like chlorine. It's just got full of bloody weeds and stuff that naturally cleans the water, et cetera, et cetera. And I jumped in and it was so unbelievably cold.

Like it felt like medical. It got very quickly very medical. Like you're kind of like, well, I can't move any of my fingers. My legs won't move any of my fingers can't move any of my hands my legs won't move and my skin feels like it's sort of slipping off the bone a little bit it was horrible

it's horrible where's that called just like Satan Carew are you a strong are you a strong swimmer no terrible swimmer absolutely terrible swimmer I

when we were in Italy last year we dropped an absolute ton on getting a boat out to one of the islands just across from Sorrento. And the man said, oh, go and jump and have a little swim about. And I was like, I mean, I'll tread water for a bit, mate, but you better be keeping an eye on me

because old Petey might end up all drowny. Do you know how terrible swimmer... Do you not bring your own armbands? I mean, he did offer me a pool noodle, but I thought, no, I'm not doing that. I'd rather die. You'd rather die with dignity. Yeah, exactly, than have a pool noodle.

They're very flautty, the old pool noodles. I'm always surprised that they really do work. They are tested. They are road tested. What other job have they got, though? Well, I mean, I guess it's just, how would you make a pool noodle? I suppose it's just kind of a byproduct

of some horrible industrial process. But I'm not being funny. If I walked into a swimming pool and I looked, what's that on the bottom of the pool? And it was just a load of pool floaties. I'd be like, well, I ain't going to fucking swim in here

because that's their one job, pool floaties. That's their one job, float trove. When I was in... Actually, it was the same place I was in with the bow tie picture. I was in... It was in the south of France for a wedding. I don't normally hold that in the south of France as I'm sure anyone who at least vaguely knows me

would be able to attest. But we were there for a wedding and there was a part of the wedding party was this boat thing. And it was obviously beautiful because it was in the south of France. First time I've ever been there. And there was this thing where the And it was obviously beautiful because it was in the south of France. First time I've ever been there. And there was this thing where the guy

who was running the boat, he dropped us off on the beach and some kind of secluded beach. It was beautiful. And he piloted the boat a bit further out and said, I'll be waiting here because I don't want to be too close. And when you want me to come and get you,

just give us a call and we'll come pick you up. And me and this guy, you know, like you meet people at weddings and you don't really know, but you kind of get an affinity with them and you start chatting to them. I met this guy and he was like, oh, I'm going to swim back to the boat, do you fancy it? And I didn't have any, so what I said, I didn't have anything on me. So I was like, yeah, brilliant.

I've got nothing to stop me doing this. I don't have my phone in my pocket. I don't have a wallet. I'm going to do it. And we swam from the beach to the boat. And it was absolutely amazing. It was such an incredible experience. But there's definitely a part of me,

even though I would rate myself as a fairly good swimmer, there's definitely a part of me where about halfway between, it's a very human reaction to go, well, I'm absolutely fucked if I stop. If I pull a muscle now i'm probably dead and that's what makes it exciting you know there's a strong history of swimming in my family my dad was a county level swimmer so it's the only thing i think that i've got like a natural ability for yeah but i guess people with big kind of wingspans i imagine because

your dad's quite tall and you're very tall like you know having a big having a big old wingspan does help yeah and most most um men who are really good swimmers are built like triangles aren't they yeah i mean less i mean yeah i'm more of a rectangle you're an inverse triangle like whiz bit well yeah a bit like yeah a bit like that but the thing is that i have actually got quite big mantids, haven't I? So it's like a bit of both. Floaties. Floaties. Little floaties.

Little floaties. That's what I call them. That's what I call them. But anyway, listen, I had a great time in the Lake District. What else did I do? Oh, listen. I'll tell you something. I'll be interested, and I'm probably being naive here.

Bear in mind I'm 40, so be reasonable. I went for a hill walk with Mimi again, obviously. Just Saturday, right? Yeah. And we did 28 kilometres. That's, I mean, that is too much. Up and down hills and everything. That's just too much, to be honest.

That's like ridiculous. I mean, what if you, again, what if you're about 14 miles in, what if you sprain your ankle? Then you've got 14 miles to sort of roll like a sausage, like a pool noodle. Do you know what? We did actually, on that walk, we did actually see the search and rescue helicopter

come over and go down. It looked like it was going to land in like a neighbouring kind of little valley. So obviously someone had some kind of problems. But I'd like to know among our listenership, what's the longest you've walked in one go? Now, of course, you can stop for, you know, a piss or grab an ice cream or coffee to take away or whatever.

What's the longest walk you've done? Because in lockdown, I know this is a bit naughty, but I'm going to say this anyway. A couple of my friends who will remain unnamed, I know you're only supposed to take an hour exercise, but a couple of them got into like competitive walking and they were trying to break each other's record

for the amount of steps walked in one day. Obviously, perfectly safe. COVID, socially distanced, all outdoors. And a couple of them,

one of the record currently stands at 75,000 steps in a day, which is mad. How many kilometers is that? What are they doing? I think it works out about 33 miles. Right, okay.

So you're getting on for 50 k's there, I think. Could they have put their speedometer? You remember those little windy up little walking boots? Nice. Put it on a drill. Yeah, exactly. My Wang Yi 125 T scooter has never had an accelerometer that works,

has never had a readout to how fast you're going. It's insane. Like the little kind of cable that tells you how fast you're going, it doesn't connect to the actual wheel itself, and it doesn't really turn properly. So I was testing it out with, like, jamming a drill into it and going, and it works. It just doesn't communicate with the wheel effectively. And i'm like uh there's something to do with the i don't

know what you i don't know the crankshaft or something the little wheel the little cogs and the wheels that transfer the big wheel into a smaller wheel uh little bit of information that says how fast that is going and it's just and and it's really annoying because i just never know how fast i'm going but i presume I'm going 70 miles an hour. Didn't car garages in the 80s used to put drills into the speedometer and do them backwards? Wind them back, yeah, yeah, yeah.

The car had done lower mileage. Very illegal. That's very illegal, that. Well, listen, I'll tell you something now, right? That probably is illegal. I don't know anything about it. But what I do know is that at that time as well, weren't car garages literally taking two different halves of cars

and putting them together with a welder? Yeah, cut and shut. Nothing wrong with a cut and shut. Well, that's going on. I think people are going to turn a blind eye to the speedometer thing. Didn't he used to? Was it some Roald Dahl book? Somebody's, maybe Matilda's dad or something,

used to do that to the cars. And he also used to put sawdust in the gear shift, gear stick or whatever it's called. And that would kind of smooth any of the crunchiness out. It's just something I really remember from being a child. Harry Wormwood, he was like a car salesman, like a really cheap car salesman or something. I do remember that.

Yeah, so I mean, that was all the rage back in the 80s apparently. Yeah, damn right. Anyway, let's have a break. When we come back, we're going to do some emails, and we're going to do some more catch-up, because we haven't seen each other for a while. And yeah, that'll be great. I'm looking forward to that, Pete.

So take a little break, and when we come back, we'll get stuck into the emails we've been sending to helloatlukeandpete.com. Relax it. break and when we come back we'll get stuck into the email it's been sent into hello at luke and pete show.com relax it all right it's time for the luke pete show part two on your monday how the devil are you i hope you're having a lovely time let us know at hello at luke pete show.com you can check us out on twitter luke and pete show and we're also on instagram as well luke i've had my second vaccine mate i'm all vaccined up I'm all vaccined up. I'm all vaccined up. Yeah, I didn't feel bad the second time. I felt rough the first time,

but it could have been due to the fact that I tried to self-medicate with Prosecco. This time around, I didn't self-medicate with Prosecco and I felt okay, so everything's fine. Has Bill Gates popped round yet? He's not popped round yet. Do you know he's got an honorary knighthood? I didn't realise that. Angelina Jolie has got an honorary knighthood? I didn't realise that. Angelina Jolie has got an honorary knighthood.

What? Because obviously he's not a British citizen, and so is Angelina Jolie. Because they've all done huge foundation charity works and stuff. Right, okay. I imagine in the future changes may be made. I don't know. I'm not going to speculate as to how that case is going to go.

But Dick Van Dyke, 95 years old, he wants a knighthood. He wants a knighthood. I think, I mean, I can't, this is the problem having this type of conversation doing a podcast in 2021. Unless I know everything about that person, I don't want to jump on board because it might be something I've missed. But on the face of it, I am going to be in favour of that because Dick Van Dyke is an absolute legend. And I've just looked under his personal life on his Wikipedia,

and I can't see anything problematic in there. So I think it's probably going to be okay. That's... I mean, that's all it takes. I mean, I wouldn't mind doing a snapshot of a lot of problematic individuals of their Wikipedia the day before it was all exposed. But Dick Van Dyke

always seemed like a stand-up chap. Exactly. He always seemed like a very, very stand-up chap. He's 95. I mean, obviously, he sort of flew the flag for British representation in Hollywood at a time where there weren't that many people with

our accents. And he didn't even't that many people with our accents. And he didn't even think he wanted to do our accents properly, playing, obviously, the chimney sweep in the film Mary Poppins. But I used to watch him every single day on the TV show Diagnosis Murder. And I think just for that, he should be receiving a knighthood. I love Diagnosis Murder so much. Yeah, I like his accent in Mary Poppins is something to be,

it's just something to behold. God bless you, Maori. Incredible. The thing is, I know it was a different time and you've mentioned it a couple of times, but the thing is, people were still aware

of what British people actually were in that era. It's not like Britain and America hadn't been in contact then. Britain was overthrown by the Americans in the 18th century. Mary Poppins was British, wasn't she? She had a British accent. Copy her! The thing is, I do find it very kind of endearing

and it doesn't bother my affection. It doesn't affect my enjoyment of the film. I think it's a brilliant movie. I've always really loved it. But it is odd to contemplate. But it's not as bad, I don't think, as it is these days. Because these days, there's so much more accessibility to different types of actors, different backgrounds, everything.

It drives me mad when they get an actor and they say, alright, do a do an accent, do this type of accent, even though there's actually no real meaning to do it. Like, for example, I think I've said this before, but Star Wars with John Boyega and Daisy Ridley, right? They're both British. Daisy really does an English accent, and

John Boyega does an American one. It's fucking Star Wars. It's set in different planets. There's no fucking need for it. I know it probably, it's to do with screen testing and how American audiences want an American accent. It's set in intergalactic space. It doesn't matter what type of English they're

speaking. Why are they making them do that? Speaking like robot language. We had Kanye West and Patrick Stewart and a couple of other celebrities on the show last week with Vish. Well, that sounds like a great week. I was off for that week. Typical.

Typical. They spent a lot of time, because I found this programme online where you could type in any script you wanted and an AI version of it, which took quite a long time because it was going to a pretty chunky computer to do it, would kind of consult the rooms and consult the data set

that they had of Kanye West speaking and rapping and also Patrick Stewart speaking but not rapping. And they would produce, you know, they'd basically get these celebrities to say whatever you wanted to say. The problem was, I don't know what it was about Kanye West, but he was able to say Scottish £10 note, but he couldn't say the word mojito.

It's just confusing. But it was very satisfying. You know, you know Dick Van Dyke, one of the things I do know about Dick is he's a big, a big supporter

of Bernie Sanders, right? Right. And did you see that news that broke about Bernie Sanders over the weekend? No. What happened?

So basically, I don't quite know how it got out, but I think it was something to do with a book and it was leaked. But Bernie Sanders had... So obviously when senators... I think some of the details are going to be sketchy here, so bear with me.

But I think it's either because he's a senator or because he was on the campaign trail at the time. This letter slash memo was circulated and it's what the Sanders team sends to hotels in advance to say what the senator needs, right? Oh, yes, yes, yes. Basically a rider, but not for a rock musician. And it's got a lot of traction in the US

because obviously predictably the faux outrage of the right-wing media have been like, oh, can you believe, you know, quote-unquote socialist Sanders wants this, that, and the other. And I actually read the memo, and I think it's actually entirely reasonable. I think if you were a human being of import, you're doing like a public service job or whatever, he's got stuff like, can you please crack the window

before he arrives to get a bit of fresh air in there? Can he please have a king-size bed with a nice comforter on it? Can I have a bath in the room? He's an old guy, right? One thing that was really sweet was that also, if possible, can I please have a room adjacent to my grandchildren? Nice stuff, right? He's not saying I want five like, you know, five kilos of, like, Moroccan black heroin. Like, he's asking if he can have some tea

and some honey in his room because he's on the campaign trail, whatever he's doing, right? Yeah. And I actually thought it was impossibly quaint. Like, and it's clearly not Bernie doing it, right? Bernie's not written that, has he? It's one of his team who's trying to help him out.

He's in his 70s. He wants a non-smoking room. Fine. What's wrong with that? We're all out of touch. The thing that gets me is it's kind of the right in America. The right-hand side can get on with whatever they want. They can do whatever the fuck they want.

But Bernie Sanders, because he's got a £1 million house, people are going, he's got a million-pound house. It's like, yeah, he's been a senator for ages and he's been in public life. He's ancient. It would be weird that he didn't have that amount of money tied up in a property, one property. It's crazy.

And he just wants one small bottle of Red Gatorade per person per day. That's all he wants. I don't think that's too much to ask. No. Listen, Pete, these are the things that they want. So there's all this stuff in the memo

about what kind of hotel room he wants and all the rest of it, right? He wants the temperature at a certain temperature and all the rest of it, right? Yeah. He's a hardworking dude. It's fine, right?

The things he wants provided are the following. Now, let me know what you think about this. He wants green tea, right? Yeah, fine. Yeah, yeah. Honey. He wants English breakfast tea.

He wants one healthy, low-sugar drink per person per day for his team. Think of the team. He wants one small bottle of red Gatorade per person per day, one bottle of smart water per person per day, and this is the bit I like, a small can of unsalted cashews and some clementines. The thing that gets me is he wouldn't have put the, he probably didn't put half of this together because, you know,

he doesn't care what his staff want. The staff will be like, right, what do we want? Get your orders in and stuff. And he's got to sign off on that. He signed off on that and he's been hauled over the course for it. Unbelievable. Our rider on the football ramble was just cans and they're more expensive

than all of those things on that list and cans are really expensive and also Bernie's on a working trip right we just want to get pissed there's two hours in the middle of this

that people have paid for we've got to do the best we can other than that let's just get pissed I don't think Bernie and I'll be totally honest I only brought this to the table because I haven't heard your Bernie impression for a while, I'm disappointed you didn't do it

Can you please say one small can of unsalted cashews in your Bernie impression Oh I've cut my hand on the can And that's why I brought it to the table Anyway, good on Bernie It's not the worst thing in the world There are several senators and politicians That's why I brought her to the table. Anyway, get on, Bernie. It's not the worst thing in the world. No.

There are several senators and politicians on the other side of the ledger that I can't name probably for legal reasons, just makes more work for the producers, that have been accused literally of child trafficking for sex. Look, in that context, in a context of endorsing and encouraging a literal invasion of the Capitol building, I don't think one small bottle of Red Gatorade is a big deal.

That's all I'm saying. And he wants the hotel room at 60 degrees. Good on him. Yeah. If he'd done that in the UK, that would be Celsius and he'd be dead. So be careful, Bernie. Emails. Hello at lukeandpeter.com is the email address

Peter we've got loads of really good ones do you want to go first or do you want me to go first I'll bash one out first and then that's then out of my hands don't bash one out

it's a family Oliver's got in touch yes hello to Oliver hi both I've emailed in recently about finding the previous the previous owner's ashes in my house

and after hearing Peter's audible breakdown after failing his driving test, I can relate. I failed my test twice. The first was for stopping too fast in on my emergency stop. It's a fucking emergency. And two, that instructor got struck off later. How can you stop too fast? No, stopping too fast. But the first failure was solely the responsibility of Bob Geldof.

I mean, I'm not being funny, Oliver. You do sound like you're passing the buck a little bit if you're blaming Bob Geldof. No, fuck Bob Geldof. It was 2005, and my friend won tickets for the Live 8 show in London, so he travelled down for the weekend on the Friday from Lancashire. The event didn't start until 2pm on Saturday, and gates opened at 12,

but after spotting people queuing the previous night we were anxious about getting somewhere near the front. We couldn't sleep in the hotel that night so at 3am we decided to get up

and head to Hyde Park. Being 18 and ridiculous we didn't factor in that the tube wouldn't be running at that time so we had to navigate multiple buses

pre-smartphone which for a couple of Milltown boys in the big smoke was frightening. I bet it bloody would. I've passively smoked crack before on buses. We made it to the entrance about 5 or 6 a.m., secondhand crack.

We made it to this entrance about 5 or 6 a.m., passing a load of lads in tents who had camped out and overslept and started queuing, eventually getting in about midday. This all sounds horrific, Oliver. I have to say, this is the worst decision. I know. And then you get jammed at the front, and what are you doing? Pissing down your own leg.

When they opened the gates, it was like the running of the bulls. We legged it for around three quarters of a mile and hit the actual barrier. We were right at the very front. Oh, God. We stayed there, not moving for drinks or toilet breaks the next 12 hours solid. What, Oliver? What is happening with your body? We saw Paul McCartney, Sting, George Michael, U2, Madonna, Stereophonics, The Who

and the reunion of Pink Floyd. It was mind-blowing and bladder-blowing, I imagine. Can I just say, Pete, half of those listed there, I wouldn't stop in the street if they were playing on the pavement. Look, it's... To each their own, I'm not blaming him, I'm just saying.

It's a big... I mean, Sting's enjoying hallowed ground being jammed between George Macdonald and Paul McCartney, in my opinion. And there's a big drop

off after Madonna to the stereophonics. Well, 12 hours of that is just Paul McCartney doing Hey Jude. And I'm fairly certain you can't even get, you shouldn't be near the

Barrys on the Hoorah because Pete Townsend, you know, I get too close to him. It's true. Geldof came on and did his Don't Like Mondays tune, didn't rate it, and the whole thing overran it in an early Sunday morning.

We had to walk for hours back to our hotel as there were no tubes or buses, finally getting back 24 hours after we set off. The next morning we overslept, got charged for checking out late, and my mate threw our train tickets in the bin by accident. Luckily, we had enough time to get back to the hotel before they cleaned the room

and just about made our train back up north. I got home around midnight Sunday and had my driving test, 10am on Monday, and my driving instructor thought I'd been on the lash all weekend when I hadn't even had a chance to touch a drop. I was completely zombied. Pulled out of the test centre on a one-way road. Instructor said, turn right.

I stayed in the left lane. Failed. Bloody geled off. All the best, Oliver. You made your own bed, Oliver. I'm really sorry. You really did. Yeah, I think so.

And I think, you know, if you get back at midnight on Sunday and you're driving tests at 10 a.m. on Monday, that's still 10 hours. You factor in a maximum of an hour to get there. You're still getting a good eight hours kip there. It's not like you've gone straight to it. Do you know what I mean? It might have been harsh.

I think not drinking or pissing or eating for 12 hours, it's going to take some toll on your life. Isn't that like just your average Sunday, Pete? Yeah, pretty much. It's felt unwell.

Let's go through the list of artists. Sting, I don't know how Sting's even there. That is outrageous. The last thing I heard of Sting, he was getting pissed off at people using a public footpath

on his estate and the only thing he's known for these days is that tantric sex stuff, right? George Michael, legend, fair enough.

Clearly a legendary guy. Fair enough. U2, yeah, we'll gloss over them madonna fantastic great i mean the reunion of pink floyd is big that is massive fair enough it's probably worth it just for that um stereophonics first album only for me paul mccartney three hours i hate you no thanks very much so is it worth it what what oliver doesn't say is whether it's worth it. He doesn't say, do you know what?

All that adventure I had, which is a huge crucial part of growing up, looking back on it, it was worth it. He also doesn't say whether he's passed his test now or not. So who knows how it ended up. But we've all got these things, haven't we, Pete? It's a kind of coming of age time. I can remember the first time I came to London to live here,

I didn't know my bearings at all i didn't even know where the local tube station was i'd i come here because three of my mates were moving up here and i needed a separate i needed an extra person to um to rent a room i had 400 quid to my name and that was the first month's rent back then that was it i had nothing to do all day because my friends had jobs and i didn't and I was trying to find one and I remember going for a walk um randomly right and I was living in Stockwell at the time and I ended up in Brixton which isn't that far away from Stockwell and I thought you know what I'm gonna do probably because I was young and a bit naive I thought you know what I fancy I fancy a McDonald's because um

it's a taste of home right McDonald's is the same everywhere that's the great selling point of it so I went into the Brixton McDonald's which which, by the way, as an almost 20-year London veteran, I wouldn't go near the Brixton McDonald's now at night. Oh, it's tasty. Certainly not at night. There's a stabbing every weekend. Well, I went in there and I thought I needed the toilet. I went into the toilet and people were smoking crack in the toilet.

Well, look, you've got to do it some way. You can't do it out in the restaurant. Do it at home. Do it on your own time. No, you get a mucky days and then you can smoke a bit it out in the restaurant. Do it at home. Do it on your own time. No, you get a mucky days and then you can smoke a bit of crack in the toilet. Did you smoke it passively? Well, I probably did.

Not on purpose. Not like you. I wasn't a passive crack addict like you. Just riding the night buses all night. Getting some of that sweet nectar. Oh, dear Lord. Right. Let's get the bloody hell out of here.

That was enjoyable. We'll be back on Thursday. That went really quickly, didn't it? Yeah, we'll be back on Thursday with more Luke and Pete show. In the meantime, if you want to get in touch with the show, it's really easy. Hello at LukeandPeteShow.com. Get us on Twitter.

Get us on Instagram. Check out what producer Nat and team have been putting up there. There's some fantastic... We had some Life of Pete, Kanye West parodies with a woman. I think it's kind of like a version of like one of those dad's app pictures, you know, like the dad's WhatsApp pictures where there's a sexy lady in the foreground

and then a picture of the Leaning Tower of Pisa in the background. They go, oh, apparently there's a Leaning Tower of Pisa in the background. It's that sort of level of nonsense. I think that's what was done there. I particularly liked the one that Steve Warnham did. He did a Kanye West type album cover of You and Your Driving Test.

And it's a picture of the Imo Mountains. And the quote is, I had three coffees and I was jittery and I was nervous and I fucked it up. I fucked it up. Yeah, he did a lovely job there. Absolutely lovely job. I presume that's a Kanye West album. I've never seen that cover before, but fantastic work.

We'll be back on Thursday, so join us then for more Lungpich of Fun. Have a cracking afternoon, evening, and look after yourselves. Yeah. Yeah, stay out of trouble. I want to hear from you. Before we go very quickly,

I want to hear terrifying experiences in big cities. I want to hear stories of your first gigs. I want to hear getting stranded in places after transports ended all that good stuff all the good rite of passage stuff we go through as kids

because Pete and I can barely remember those days these days but you guys will have some amazing stories I'm sure so yeah do furnish us with those

and we'll talk to you next time the luke and pete show is a stack production and part of the acas creative network