The Luke and Pete Show - Lamb lung pocket man

Episode Date: June 24, 2024

This week, Pete mourns the loss of Maplin Electronics and reminisces about his own retail experiences - a fraudulent, Billy Joel-obsessed boss included. Meanwhile, Luke wonders why he can’t escape the chains of Rob Beckett and Romesh Ranganathan.Luke also brags about his table tennis skills, but Pete isn’t having it!Want to get in touch with the show? Email: [e-mail] or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello it's the Luke and Pete show on Monday the 24th of June. My name is Pete Donaldson. Who's this guy with me then huh? I'm the hammock granddad. You're the hammock granddad? Who's the hammock granddad? A little test for you. I knew you wouldn't remember even though it was the last episode we made. Oh the granddad who sat in a hammock and... Clues in the name. Clues in the name. He was a man. Yeah, but grandad suggests that he

had any relationship with his kids. Yeah, but your response suggests there's many hammock grandads in your life at the moment. There is, yeah. I think we've all got

potential, to be honest. Where is he in the room? I think we've all got a bit of hammock grandad in ourselves. Well, we just want to be left alone. We want to stay outside.

And also, you know, dust mites are a real issue. I'm allergic. You're probably allergic. I'm not allergic to anything that I know of. Oh, come on. I'm going to test you so hard. I'm going to buy weird fruits from deepest, darkest Asia. I think I've got a mild, mild hay fever.

Maybe. But that's pretty much it, mate. Not like you. You're a walking mess. No, I'm not. I'm not as bad as Vish. Vish comes in and he's just not... Vish hasn't slept for over three months.

Vish has got bad hay fever, but you're allergic to everything. I'm not allergic to anything. I'm fine. My head went big a bit when I did my last show with Jules on the Ramble. And I think that was just an aversion to losing Jules. It's just an aversion to Jules' forthright opinions.

Yeah. She carries around these weird herbs in her bag, and I think I'm allergic to them. She scares me. Can you say that when she's on national TV doing the tournament at the moment? Well, look, it's off our grounds now. True, actually.

I'm just saying she might be a magician of some kind. We don't have an exposition treaty with Fox. We certainly do. Yeah, she's on Fox, isn't she? That's a big old name. Would you like to be anchoring some of the Euros coverage? Yeah, I think so. I think I'd do a really good job, actually.

Who would you look at and go, I could usurp you, no problem? I reckon Lineker always looks like he's scared he's going to fall through that big window, that big window that they're sitting on on BBC. I did like to see him in a T-shirt the other night for the England game, I think it was. Was it the England game? Was he in a T-shirt? I don't recall that. Well, Alan Shearer clearly had a heavy night, I remember.

The day before England, the the England match he just sounded very rough indeed and the next day absolutely fine so it didn't feel viral to me that's all I'm saying could have been hay fever

could have been hay fever could have been that Brandenburg gate hay fever god damn it I want to see someone what I would like to do and you're not

going to like this Peter but I'm going to say it anyway if you are going to be presenting England games at a big tournament I'm going to say it anyway if you are going to be presenting England games at a big tournament I'd like to see in a suit that fits you properly

not one of those ones with the jackets too small and pulls around the buttons dressed properly even if it's just for the England games because you're saying to the public at large you enjoy yourselves I'm here to work

I'm here to work yeah I'm grafting but I would say that you grab your plastic beer plastic glass of beer and throw it in the air yeah I'm here to work. I'm here to work. Yeah, I'm grafting. But I would say that... You grab your plastic beer, plastic glass of beer, and throw it in the air. Yeah. I'm here to work.

You're not going to hit me. I'm on the roof. You're not going to... Have you seen that weird sort of Brandenburg Gate kind of goal? Yeah, I can't work out. How much of... Pete, how much of all that stuff we're seeing?

So when people who listen to this are watching the coverage of the games at the Euros, how much of what they're seeing really the studio is green screen? Well, the floor is all... Well, it's not green screen. It's a big screen, I think. I think they actually do it live.

It's just a massive plasma screen that moves the perspectives. No, but they're all... If you look at the behind-the-scenes photos, it's all green behind them. They've got an inside studio and an outside studio as well. Oh, right. But I think the... No, I think usually it's all green behind them they've got an inside studio and an outside studio oh right i think one but i think the no i think usually it's green screen i think now they do have access to a

pretty plum studio um the great relationship between england and germany in 2024 has meant that we can we have got a pretty decent kind of brandenburg gate kind of studio i love it i think it's great yeah and how are they micing that up and not getting sounding too windy? Well, I mean, oh, I don't know, outside. Yeah, I mean, I guess wind would be a factor but maybe you can just

sort of block that off. Yeah, you are upstairs. The higher you go, the windier it is. Maybe you can block it off. Maybe there's a few walls in play. My friend who's a very,

very experienced and respected sports cameraman says that there wasn't as many opportunities to go to Germany because the German teams are all pretty competent,

the broadcast teams. Yeah, okay. I could see that, yeah. He did get to go because he's premium. But he said that when you're looking for an international tournament, you're looking for them to be in Qatar

or Brazil because the level of broadcasting isn't as good and before people have a go at me for Brazil look at some of their soap operas that's all I'll say

very very creamy greasy 520p footage in many ways yeah Vaseline on the lens terrible mixing on the audio

the volume just comes in too quickly I would say that there probably used to be by the fact that they don't have a they don't have a, they don't remember having access to a Tandy or even a Maplin.

So I don't know what the Maplin version is. We haven't got a Maplin now, have we? We haven't got a Maplin now, true. But we do remember it and we do remember what it was like. Someone should come along and replace a Maplin, right? surely there's a gap in the market for that being needed i think there definitely is i mean i've i mean you've got to go to kind of you used to be able to get hard drive storage memory used to be able to get disco lights audio fuses wires all it was

a one-stop shop for so much stuff i mean it was all very expensive very expensive, but you're never... You want it now, don't you? If you're doing a project, you're like, oh, I need a diode, and you can't be arsed to wait for two days to get it from somewhere else. So there needs to be a high street electronics retailer that knows its business. But the problem is they chase the algorithm too much,

and they just devoted too much of their floor space to printer cartridges, battery packs, rubbish, boring. I don't want to go in there and see that. What's your view on the, what's your entrenched position on the Curry's PC world of this world of this world? I don't know. I think, again, they'd spread themselves too thin.

White goods. I don't want to be buying my graphics card from the same place I'm buying a Hotpoint dishwasher. I just don't want that in my life. I know what you i understand what you're saying and is it fair to say that if you are mapling and you are a shop that's offering traveling disco lights for djs and um fuses all for vastly inflated prices could be at least part of the story as to why they're no longer in business. Yeah, it's a good point. I mean, there were...

Sorry to cut in, before I get the answer from you, how many people genuinely, like genuinely have a need for... Diodes. No, travelling DJ disco lights. Well... How many of those are sold a year?

We buy, as a company, three wires a company three wires a year maybe i've just i've just asked you a very specific question about traveling dj disco lights well it depends on what kind of dj you like if you're a dj that's um a bit of a drinker you don't put your stuff away properly and that's when xlr cables get damaged you leave stuff behind you leave stuff behind yeah you throw microphones in a fit of reverie onto some gantry that you're never going to get down so if you are if you are stone cold sober you you don't leave things behind and you put things away properly you've probably got some kind of special um where the engineers the only engineers the only people or roadies are the only people, or roadies,

are the only people who know how to wrap XLR cables correctly. They've got this kind of twisting arm motion that I find fascinating. They know how to look after their cables. We, the common man, who are just into maplings because we want a USB key, we don't know how to look after our stuff. No one wants a USB key anymore, do they?

I went into Curry's last week and bought a USB key because I was reinstalling a version of Windows. And I would say that it was a £7.99 USB key. And I had to ask the man to liberate it from its little hanger because it was security tagged. And I'm like, I'm sorry, there are like jars of coffee that are like 10 quid these days. Why am I required to follow this man?

And he didn't even give me the bloody USB key to go to the front desk. He walked me over to the front desk like he was opening a lockbox in a bank. Unbelievable. This man, if you see this man, he's drunk way too much Monster Energy drink. He's after your diodes.

And he will occasionally be abusive, but in a way that is quite passive aggressive. What he does, guys, is he asks you quite technical questions about your products. And if you don't get the answer right, he belittles you in front of your colleagues. And also, it's right next to Pets at Home in Southend. So I usually start at Pets at Home, pick up a big dirty dog bone, and then go next door. And I just have a stink of big dirty dog bones lamb lungs one of Sammy's favourite snacks

is a lamb lung and they honk there's a man who comes in to Curry's BC World every Tuesday with a big dog bone and a lamb lung

in his pocket and he always buys a USB key watch out for him don't bat him because he's one of my best customers you do not want to know what is going on with USB keys and he always buys a USB key. Watch out for him. Watch out for him. Don't bat him because he's one of my best customers. You do not want to know what is going on with USB keys. That's all I'm saying.

Speaking of pets at home, my cat will not shut up. You can probably hear him in the background. I really can't. Oh, yeah, I can a little bit, yeah. Now, when you shut up for a second so I can hear him. Yeah. God's sake. He wants to come and say hello.

Is this the Luke and Pete and Hercules show or what? This is actually Magnus. I think he now thinks that whenever we record a Luke and Pete show at home, it's the Pavlovi response for him to have his lunch. Oh, right, okay. Because I always feed him because he always comes in. Ah. So, yeah, you carry on.

Bear with me a second. I'll just feed him. All right, let's go on the Wikipedia for Maplin. Wikipedia. Maplin. Maplin retailer. Oh, it still exists. I think you can buy stuff online still.

It was headquartered in Marlow in the United Kingdoms from 1976 to 2018. That was a long time. I guess when the home repair boom was very much in full effect around the start of the 80s when people were sort of putting together their own computers and stuff. No physical Maplin shops have been opened, and the legal obligations of Maplin Electronics Ltd, such as warranty support, were not assumed by the new company.

Okay, that's enough. That's a shame. What were you doing? Hey, the first... Oh, hang on. Guess where the first store of Maplins was made? Was created? Was crafted?

Built? Built. Did you say built? Well, probably not built. They probably just moved into a prefabbed prefabbed building. West Clifton Sea? I could literally drive to the first Maplin.

The flagship branch? The flagship branch in 1976 of Maplin. I'm going to find where it is. I imagine West Clifton Sea is very similar to 1976. Oh, wow. I need to find this oh no it's a Stoke-on-Trent one

oh my god where do you normally go with lamb lungs in your pocket just around the around the place why does Sammy like those so much

I don't know I mean I guess he he's seen a lamb before he's seen a sheep before and yet he doesn't connect the two that the delicious

lamb lungs are in there you know what I mean? He would probably find lamb's breath delicious. Do they stink? Yeah, they absolutely stink. Anything awfully, I don't know why, the digestive-y sort of bits absolutely stink.

The lungs less so, but the ones with, like, you can see, like, the individual sort of honeycomb stuff from the stomach lining and stuff. The sort of stuff that is delicious in a Chinese restaurant with loads of like chilli and stuff and then you see your dog eating it

and you're like, yeah, it's not ideal, is it? Can't you just feed Sammy dog food? It can do, but it's a lamb lung

for it's a treat. It's a treat, a lamb lung treat. Nom, nom, nom. I like the idea of you going and buying a lamb lung and saying it's a treat

for Sammy and not explaining that it's a treat for Sammy and not explaining that Sammy's a dog. Because to me, the way you sometimes turn up to places, it could be someone who's in the basement of your house. Uncle Sammy. Little Uncle Sammy. So then we lament the passing of Maplin, always.

And all the lambs. And we lament the fact that you and I are not travelling DJs no I reckon we could build up quite a reputation well I mean notoriety

Lost Prophets fist fights did you see there was a man at Download Festival with a Lost Prophets jacket I did

someone very very helpfully shared that photo with me on social media I don't know what they wanted me to do with that information, but I heard Download was an absolute shit show this year.

Did you hear that? Luke, I mean, my God, I'm doing this. Oh, my goodness, I'm shocked that even for Download, this year's Download was Download-y, I would say. They never get the rub. They never get any decent weather. I think you've had one in the last 20 years of Download happening, Castle Donington.

It is always a washout. Move it to another weekend. You are giving children trench foot. It looked horrific once again. I know that's their vibe, but it's horrible. And the tickets are so expensive and you're just wet. Fucking tarmac the place. Stop pissing about.

So it's so bad that they had to essentially truncate all the band's sets on one of the days because Avenged Sevenfold, the headliner, refused to truncate their own set. And so all these bands were coming out and going, okay, this song's dedicated to Avenged Sevenfold. Fuck you. Hey, they've built their way up to, I mean, I can't believe they're headlining, but they have built their way up

to being a headlining act. I saw them support Guns N' Roses about 20 years ago. Right. Can I also just say this? And you're going to think I'm making this up and I promise you I'm not making this up and I'm not being mean for no reason but you know the kind of trope

that goes around that Romesh Ranganathan and Rob Beckett are just on everything. They were at Download and I thought the exact same thing. I was like How on earth

are they on stage at fucking Download? It's nowhere safe. I'm not going to put a fucking fridge in a minute and he's going to be in there. They were on with the band weren't they?

They were on with the band. Because they're part of the series they're filming presumably I don't fucking know but I just get the feeling that like I do sort of think that this should be a place

where we don't have to see Romesh Ranganathan or Rob Beckett it's supposed to be a safe space so it's supposed to be a safe space the thing about Romesh Ranganathan and Rob Beckett and I know you know Rob a bit

I don't know either of them but I have been in the company of Romesh Ranganathan and he Beckett, and I know you know Rob a bit, I don't know either of them, but I have been in the company of Romesh Ranganathan and he's a good friend of a really good friend of mine. I've got no reason to dislike the guy, but he's making me dislike him. I've done nothing towards this. But if you had this kind of life and they just sort of went, do you want to do this thing?

I mean, you've got to say yes to everything, can't you? Why? That's a really insecure way of doing it, isn't it? Nah, you just say yes to everything. I've never done this a really insecure way of doing it isn't it nah you just say yes to everything I've never done this before I'll do this I saw big Tom Davis

walking down the street when I was cycling home from work yesterday big Tom Davis he sticks out like a sore thumb Tom Davis King Gary what

Kid Gary he's massive he does a podcast with Robert Frank and Nathan Tom Davis oh the guy who's got a massive mouth he's huge

everything about him's huge he's huge yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. I like him. He seems like a proper lad. He seems great, and he is absolutely gigantic. He is probably, I would say, three inches taller than me. Yeah, I'd say that. I'd say that, yeah.

Big old fella. He was glumping down the road, and that's me saying that. You give off a glump every now and again. I do. Yeah. Didn't give off a glump every now and again. I do. Yeah. Didn't give off a galump around the table tennis table, did I, Peter? No, you didn't.

No, we had a longer than I'd like game of table tennis. Well, you didn't do very much to elongate it, mate. No, I did my best to tank it, yeah. I put it all into a control slide. Basically, there's a new games room opened in our building that no one uses. Who discovered it? No, it was you who discovered slide. Basically, there's a new games room opened in our building that no one uses. Who discovered it? No, it was you who discovered it.

Yeah, yeah. Because you came in confusingly saying, there's a room down there with a little golf course and there's no golf bats. Yeah, I forgot the word golf club. I've got no context for that. What are you talking about? Well, the context is they cannot fill units in our offices.

So they're very much churning. We've suddenly got a prayer room. Suddenly, religion is very important. And then we've got a games room as well. You say it's a prayer room. It's just an empty room with a prayer room sign on the door. They've got some candles and a rug. There's one electronic candle and two rugs.

Is there an electronic candle? I've never seen anyone in there anyway no well no because it's because it's a waste of everyone's time

that games room that's my prayer room I'm not I'm not saying prayer rooms aren't a waste I'm just saying that this one is that's how I get closer to God the God of table tennis

I've played table tennis against you Marcus and Finn producer Finn and I've won every single game. I find, you know when... You find it annoying, I know,

but it's true. You know when England go away and like football, all they do is play bloody table tennis. It's great fun, a bit of TT. What's wrong with you? Why do none of them go professional? If they play that much table tennis,

why are they obsessed with golf and nobody sort of says, I'm going to be the best table tennis because it's fucking lame. That's why. No way, table tennis is great. There going to be the best table because it's fucking lame that's why no way it's great it's there used to be a there used to be a fist of fun book um shortly in and they did like uh badminton is cool uh double page spread and they were basically sort of talking about the these the um these really um charisma um full uh badminton players like oh you

you won't have seen badminton and so you've seen dave smith play badminton players. Like, oh, you won't have seen badminton until you've seen Dave Smith play badminton. And that's what reminds me of when people get excited about table tennis. It's just a great time. Listen, not every single piece of, or every single second of like recreation time, Pete, needs to be spent in front of your computer doing some kind of program.

You can do something like engaging with other people. Yeah. I mean, yeah, but I don't get the help. You were beating me left-handed. And then you suggested that you would play with the palm of the bat. So I would hold the paddle and use the handle as the bat. And you said you had to go home. I said that's a step too far.

You'd have beaten me on that as well. I need to be near my computer. Yeah, but I did film all of it and the only footage that survived happened to be you clipping your bat

off the side of a table and losing a point. in the stack WhatsApp group which I think is absolutely pathetic by you. Anyway,

Finn played tennis for Cambridge University so the fact that I've taken his scalp is quite the story. Indeed. Anyway, on that note let let's have a break. Have you already done a break when I was feeding the cat?

Nah, no, I spoke about Maplin for ages. All right, good. Okay, let's have a break, and when we come back, we'll look at some emails maybe. West Cliff-on-Sea, Maplin location. It was on London Road. West Cliff-on-Sea's Maplin there.

It was on London Road. Pete Donaldson, look me up with you on the old Luke and Pete show. We're doing a Monday show, aren't we? I've nearly launched into some battery chat there. Oh, I found some batteries, actually. Can you remind me that I'm submitting some for this week's Thursday show?

Yeah, we've got a Thursday show. That's exciting. Alright, yeah, live. Don't spoil us now. I won't, I won't, But I'm hoping for a win. All right. What are we doing? Let's go on. So I've got an email here called,

and the title of the email is just Lidl Power Tools from Lidl Employee. Okay. Oh, nice. Okay, yeah. A couple of people did get in touch saying, I basically wanted to know

whether an impact driver, would it be good if I bought one from Maplin? Bearing in mind I don't use impact drivers very much, et cetera, et cetera. Yeah. So actually, before I get into that, I want to ask you a quick question as well. So we, by which I mean my wife, built our own coffee table. Okay. Right. built our own coffee table, right? Okay, right.

With some leftover wood and some fashioned legs that are currently screwed into the wood, right? I'm sure you can imagine how that works. However, upon screwing said legs into the wood, the screws became threaded, and I can't take it apart again. Right. What do I do?

Are you asking me? Yeah. Oh, I've got some screw removers. They're basically, they're little screws that go into the head of the screw. And then they obviously become affixed. And then you go, and then they come out. Oh, can you bring them in? I'll bring them in.

Thank you, mate. That'd be amazing. I'd love that. Because we want to get rid of it. We want to just break down the coffer table. That's too big for the room. So we need to just put it away in storage for a bit. Anyway, Sam, who says Lidl Power Tools

from Lidl employees, says, Hello Luke and Pete, I was listening to Monday's pod bright and early this morning at 5.30am while restocking the fruit and veg in Lidl.

I'm hoping I'll be able to offer some advice for Pete about Lidl Power Tools. Sounds like you're in the fruit and veg section, mate. Yeah. If you want advice

about the bananas, fine. This is outside your remit, Sam. Yeah. Get back in your fruit box. We'll give you a fair hearing anyway. We often get customers returning products for refunds for various different reasons. However, power tools are very rarely returned.

The impact drive would probably be fine for the kind of task you need to carry out on the Toyota Century, but I probably wouldn't be recommending one to a bigger boy who uses tools for their trade. I'd imagine the quality would be lacking compared to your DeWalt's, et cetera. If you do purchase any power tools from Lidl and have any issues,

you can usually return them in store with your receipt for very minimal questions asked. Failing that, the customer services are very good at getting problems resolved, and some of the power tools do come with a manufacturer's guarantee as well. I hope this has been of some use. All the best, Sam.

Sam sounds like he's very much a company man, but I'm very much enjoying it. I would say that the sort of people who buy tools and little would probably be more than up for returning them if they were faulty. What do you reckon? Yeah. Like men of my age who love a diode or a capacitor, they, not me, because I would just go, oh, 30 30 could down the fucking pan in it um i'm never going to return that um but people like my dad would would very much return a power tool if it was faulty yeah i never returned anything no i don't know why i'm just so lazy at it the only time the most recent time i've returned something is i brought i bought a toaster from amazon

and it didn't fucking work and i had to take it back. But that's not working. If it works once, it's never getting returned. You know what I mean? If it doesn't work out the box, I'm like, that needs to go back. Fine. Yeah, because otherwise

you've paid your money, you've taken your chance and that's that. Okay. But if it works once, I'm like, if it works once and then dies, I'm like,

oh, it's got crumbs on the bottom and they'll never accept this. People will be listening to this going, how can we get him as a customer? Fucking hell, he sounds amazing so with the little fruit and veg thing

what I would say to Sam is watch out for the old exotic spiders yes good point that's very very difficult it can be very tricky

and the other thing I would say is the old trick I had when I was at Asda is I used to buy a sausage roll first thing in the morning

put it in a banana skin keep the receipt yeah and then just eat sausage rolls all day is I used to buy a sausage roll first thing in the morning. Put it in a banana skin. Keep the receipt. Yeah. And then just eat sausage rolls all day. And if anyone asked me where I got them, I'd show them the receipt. What?

Oh, right, okay. You shouldn't be eating up and down the aisles of the supermarket, though. You're asking for trouble. Out the back. I used to go out the back, sit in the fridge, have a yoghurt drink when I had a hangover. Sit in the big walk-in fridges. Is that a big hangover cure?

A yoghurt drink? It was for a time. I guess it would settle your stomach a little bit. Milk shake, yoghurt drinks, tiny delight, you know, all that kind of good stuff. Yeah, okay. What I'm saying to you is... How many sausage rolls did you get away with during the day? You could do three or four.

I was like 18 years old. Just thinking of that makes me... Heartburn now, isn't it? Yeah, Heart or four. I was like 18 years old. Just thinking of that makes me think... Heartburn now, isn't it? Yeah, Heartburn City. I need to drop a Zantac before I even think about the word... Before and after. Before I even think of the word sausage roll. Oof.

Oof. But what I'm saying to you is you could always provide a receipt so you'd never get busted for stealing. True, true. That's true. I mean, I'd never steal anyway. What I meant to say was it was my friend that did that, not me. Your friend that did that.

He goes from the school. By the way, I tried to say was it was my friend that did that not me your friend that did that he goes from another school by the way I tried to last week speaking of the old retail last week I tried to I tried four different shops

to find a football magazine with a guide to Euro 2024 in it and I could not find one oh like a wall chart I was going to pick one of them up I just bought some stickers instead

because I thought this will give me part of the puzzle I didn't necessarily even want the wall chart this year I just wanted the guide so I could read it and then pretend I knew what I was talking about on the ramble Russell Russell I was on the ramble

I think last week and I was and I could not remember a goalkeeper's name and so I kept on having to go on to the BBC guide of top 10 you know players that will be the next Pickers but I mean to be honest I'm probably likely to sort of forget the name BBC guide of top 10 players. Who was Jordan Pickford? Pickers. But I mean, to be honest,

I'm probably likely to sort of forget the name of Jordan Pickford rather than, I don't know, a Martin Dubravka, to be honest. What, because you've practiced the foreign one? Because you're paranoid about it? That's a good point, actually. Yeah, if you practice the name a bit, you can kind of get him out, can't you? I think there's no name you wouldn't forget.

No, I completely agree. Have you ever had a retail job, by the way? I don't even know name you wouldn't forget. No, no, I completely agree. Have you ever had a retail job by the way? I thought you didn't know if you ever had a head scan. Yeah, Peacocks, back in the day.

Peacocks? You never told me about this. John Joyce Betting Shops, that was a retail. You told me about the betting shop, but what was Peacocks all about? Peacocks was like, you know Peacocks,

it's like a shit. but what were you doing there? It's a crappy close store for the discerning, poor person. The, yeah, what was I doing there? It's a crappy close store for the discerning poor person. Yeah, what was I doing there? It was just like a Saturday job. I told you, it was the Swedish lady who ran it got even fired

because she had ran in the till. I'm not going to use Swedish. You've never told me this. I did. She used to follow Billy Joel around Europe, and that's probably why she needed the money. And she had to finance her habit somehow. She had to finance it.

What was her technique for defrauding the company? I don't know. They got rid of all the Saturday stuff because they couldn't afford it and the store wasn't making enough money. But we were always simply quite busy. And then a few months later, it turns out that the lady was on the rob.

But it was very funny because she used to follow Billy Joel around Europe. And then she used to keep like a carrier bag full of lyrics. I've said this before so many times on the podcast. I've never heard you say this before. She was convinced that she had written the lyrics to a piano man level track from Billy Joel. She was absolutely insane. But like quite normal. So she's on the rob and she was mentally ill yeah how did you find working for her

and she you know she kept us she was she was barely there kept herself to herself it was good stuff well she kept herself to billy joel where sounds of it kept her hands to herself in the till people do do this is the thing you know you talk about these kind of obscure things that you don't see happening anymore like i remember I think I can remember three separate incidences or incidents of people at shops I worked at making off with the cash. Right, yeah. So when I was at uni. You were a ringleader in the post office scandal, weren't you? No, I was nothing to do with that, thank you very much.

That's beyond the pale. That's outrageous. It's outrageous what those postmasters did. All they need is one postmaster to turn heel and just be the face of crime in the post office going, yeah, I did steal a load of money, actually. Ha ha. I'm free now.

Ha ha. And the Daily Mail will be like, oh, we've got them. Just because old people can't use computer software. Joke aside, when I was at uni the first time round it was fairly near to an army barracks

right and we got given the old leaflet when we first joined saying yeah don't go to this pub on this day because the squaddies

will be in there they'll just fucking fill you in right yeah and me and my friend Alex we did go there because we were like, I don't know,

we just wanted, it looked like a pub and we'd grown up in pubs and so we were like, it'll be fine. Yeah. And so we went and it actually was fine

and there was a load of fights in there all the time but we ended up joining the pool team and it was a good crack, right? I mean, it was, you know, it was fun and I liked playing pool

so I enjoyed it and anyway this one guy who ran the pool team there who was an ex-squaddy and now worked at the motorbike shop across the road from the pub I think it was called Heingerich, you know Heingerich? No I really don't. I think it's a German kind of motorbike

they basically don't sell motorbikes they sell like leathers and all the stuff that kind of stuff so you probably would have so they don't sell motorbikes, they sell like leathers and all the stuff around motorbikes, right? That kind of gear. Fetish wear. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you probably would have seen a couple of them on old Compton Street.

And this guy was a, he seemed quite hard. He was a bit mad. He was a pub bloke, you know? Yeah. That kind of tattoos and not that much older than us,

like probably 30 at the time. When tattoos meant something. Yeah, before everyone had them. Yeah, before, when it was just criminals and sailors. And he, one day, like we went down there for like thursday night pool or whatever it was to play against the local another different pub and he just wasn't there and we're like where the fuck is he like he's the captain like he's normally there and uh anyway

turns out um one night when he was cashing up he just took all the money and just disappeared. Right, okay. And for the next two years, no one ever saw or heard of him again. Love that. A midnight flight. Brilliant. And it would have been heard of

because if he had been caught, everyone would have known. I just don't think he ever got caught, which is wild to think of. And then also, when I was working at another shop, there was a woman there who always

gave me a massive hard time and she was like proper she's like a proper battle axe and um i was also complicatedly i was also basically in love with her daughter who didn't want to know and so i had a very complicated relationship with the family one of them was just fucking brutally disciplined me all the time and the daughter wouldn't ever talk to me. And it turned out she was on her hands. The mum had her hands on the till. She fucking got busted for it as well. And she stole a massive amount of money and didn't even go down for it

because she was an older lady and they kind of took pity and sympathy on her. Yes. It's the hypocrisy I can't stand. If you were five minutes late, you'd get a bollocking. She was fucking robbing thousands of pounds. Well, that's what I mean. It's blue-collar versus white-collar crime, isn't it? Sort of.

In a way. In a way. All right, let's get out of here. This has been Luke Pitcher for your Monday. We'll be back on Thursday. And I've got a... Have I got a battery brand for you. From my own little collection.

Thank you very much. I can hardly wait. Yeah, good stuff. All right, then. We'll see you on Thursday get your emails in hello at lukapcho.com

ta ta The Luke and Pete Show is a Stack Production and part of the ACAST Creator Network.