The Luke and Pete Show - Lock, Stock and...bags thrown out of the window?

Episode Date: November 16, 2020

On today’s show, the Chinese scooter is finally up and running as Pete’s figured out how to get it purring. Meanwhile, Luke’s discussing responsible lock picking and how after 3 long years of waiting - drum roll please! - a new battery brand has finally been discovered. Elsewhere, we get an interesting look into Luke’s own brand of childhood nostalgia with everything from neighbours arguments to cars on fire! Finally, the boys also discuss the potentially illegal relationships between all our favourite Mario characters. Join us!Email in to [e-mail]! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The time is whenever this show has been released. I am Pete Donaldson. I'm joined by Luke Moore. This is Luke and Pete's show. How are you doing, Luke Moore? I'm good, thanks. That is a characteristically undetailed time check by you. I'm right. Don't need it. Did you play out on Luke and Pete's show that penalty kick being taken? And in the middle, he just does a time check. I can't remember if I played it out or not, but it was amazing. That was so good.

Yeah, I hadn't heard it at the time, but I went back and listened to it. My God, it was good. How are you, big man? What's new? Good. I was kind of doing a project that's kind of bleeding into my life of the weekend. So I've been doing a lot of stuff like that over the weekend. But I did manage to, Luke Miller, finally get my hog, my American chopper, my Chinese scooter up and running.

Oh, yes. I found where the battery goes. I got in. That's amazing. And some of the paperwork is only slightly damaged by my screwdriver. But, yeah, I'm in. I put the battery in. The battery wasn't necessarily working,

so I walked almost all the way to Hemel Hempstead, to Halfords, to get a battery charger for the battery. And, yeah, everything's looking good, Luke. Everything's looking good. It's purring like a lawnmower. So have you taken her for a spin or not? I've not. I moved forwards and backwards in looking good, Luke. Everything's looking good. It's purring like a lawnmower. So have you taken her for a spin or not? I've not. I moved forwards and backwards in the garage,

but it was getting rather late and rather dark, so maybe I'll have a little... And rather fumey, I would have thought. Exactly. I'd hot-boxed myself. I think that's how you kill yourself, isn't it? Yeah, it's not a great move, that. Yeah, it's not ideal, is it?

No, no. So why haven't you been out on it? Have you not got a helmet or something? I've got a helmet. Are you scared? Oh, God, yes. and the people on the road should be scared as well uh i've not um i've not taxed it or or made the world know that it's a a liable um all right viable mode of operation you have to get in touch with the dvla they've got you've got to fill in loads of forms saying this new chinese scooter will be

on the nation's roads and that takes like five to six weeks it's really annoying yeah there's a lot of bureaucracy isn't there what you could do instead is to um only ride on the pavement and only ride it down dirt tracks could just go off maybe i could talk to a farmer and go can i help you churn up your uhow fields with my scooter? So what's the turnaround then? What's the estimate for when you actually be on the road? Because that's what the people listening want to hear. They don't want to hear about these little bits of admin you're doing.

They want to hear when you're going to be out there. Well, I'm looking at the EU Certificate of Conformity. Whenever you buy a scooter in the EU, bearing in mind I got mine from scooter.co.uk, it really works really hard on finding the best got mine from scooter.co.uk really really works really hard on finding the best quality scooter at scooter.co.uk um yeah it's it's a chinese vehicle but but they with your certificate when you buy a new um thing it tells you all of like the the different um like carbon emissions and stuff how much thc i'm bashing out i don't even know what thc is

i presume it's something to do with weed isn't it isn't thc the active ingredient in marijuana well apparently it's apparently it's bashing out fat spliffs of 138 um milligrams per kilometer so i could get high off more in supply i'll maybe like get a little bit of rubber tubing straight from the exhaust right in old uh into the kisser yeah don't do that don't do that that is how you die in it that is how you die yeah um so so basically give us an estimated date when you're going to be officially pete born to be my old donaldson six weeks six it's my six weeks holiday where i've got to learn how to use the scooter on the little road next to my house uh so i'll be whirring up and down that little dirt track for a little while anyway.

And then what are you going to actually use it for, by the way? I've never actually got around to asking you. Go and shop and go to the train station. Well, the train station's like 15 minutes away. And, you know, it just takes a little bit out of your day that you don't need, isn't it? So I'll park up next to the train station. I reckon it'll be about three weeks before it's stolen

and I'll be back to work. Someone was saying the other day, I was listening to the radio over the weekend, and someone was saying that they got a brand new bike because of lockdown and stuff. And they went in, and they literally picked it up on the way home, thought, I'll get a coffee, chained it up outside the coffee shop, and they said he was only in there for like 15 seconds. Oh, it's amazing. And he was gone. A fan as I am of the lock picking lawyer. He

really shows you the folly. He picks locks responsibly, doesn't he? Yeah, he does. But it's really hard. If he gets busted, he can lawyer himself out of it. Exactly. There's some things he won't do, but he does show, he was doing puck locks

yesterday you know there's locks that you see on that are kind of protected from from hammer attacks and stuff right his little puck locks and uh he he'd had this little kind of it was like a little kind of twiggy thing and he said this thing's been around for 100 years this little it looked like a little toothbrush a little metal toothbrush jams it in the lock. He bought 10 of these puck locks from the hardware store at random, so it wasn't as if he'd just got a bad batch. He bought them at random and, yeah, just got them open immediately. I love Lockpicking Lawyer. He starts every video with,

and here's what I've got for you today. I'm the Lockpicking Lawyer. Here's what I've got for you today. It's a so-and-so, so-and-so. It's good. picking lawyer here's what i've got for you today it's a so-and-so so-and-so it's good how how um how um kind of how many locks do you reckon he actually picks and how and do you think that uh i can't by the way i can't fucking believe we're still talking about a lock picking lawyer you wrote me in uh yeah how do you reckon do you reckon it's all above board do you reckon

it's all legit or do you reckon he he pre-primes them for the video? I imagine he's got a reputation to keep up. And I imagine he's probably... Look, he's a lawyer. I'm not saying anything about him. I think he picks all of us locks immediately as soon as he gets them and films them. Where's he even found the skill, though? I don't understand where he found the skill to do this.

Well, you just... I mean, it's a learned kind of skill, isn't it? You've got to be a meticulous mind, I think. Yeah, yeah. And you've got to kind of really work at it. This is like magic circle shit. It really is. It's incredible stuff.

That is incredible. By the way, just quickly before I get into what I was going to say, how are you coping with the second lockdown? Because I think people listening might want to hear a bit of solidarity about how their 14th and 15th favourite podcasters are coping with lockdown too. How's it going for you generally? I'm drinking a bit more than I usually would, to be honest. I spent the weekend drinking fizzy sake.

That's a thing. It's not a good thing. No, it doesn't sound like it. No. Where did you get it from? A sake shop. I think it's probably just sake.co.uk. But sake, it's just, yeah, it's like really,

it just tastes like fizzy sake, which I don't think anybody really needs in their life, to be quite frank. I didn't even know it was a thing. No, no, I didn't until I saw it and I was like, I've got to have some of that. It's not too bad. Stick something like a blueberry or a blackberry

or a strawberry in there and you and you've got a nice little kind of uh little cocktail tasting thing right is it just like it's just like um almost like a a kind of slightly different champagne yeah yeah yeah it's it's very very sweet it's not a dry uh experience at all it's it's enjoyable in its own way okay fair enough um i was going to say to you actually as well before I forget that shout out to Dave Tame,

he's a Ramble listener, he's a Luke and Pete show listener, who posted us a copy of the Beano and the Dandy to the office, which arrived today so we can make our assessments over which is better out of the Beano and the Dandy.

Dave, the reason I know these have been delivered is because we have a skeleton staff at the office and Charlie, who produces all our football shows. He's very thin. He's a skeleton. So he's allowed in. He took delivery today. He can't get COVID, he's a skeleton.

Yeah. Dave, I don't know if you want these back because like they're both from 1991 so they look like quite vintage yeah we really appreciate you sending them i mean we'll give them a read but i suppose it feels like those two of those comics that you have to kind of turn the pages with tongs i had one of those i had such a good collection when i was like about eight or nine of the b9 years and years and years, lots of annuals, and they all got thrown out.

Still annoyed about that, to be quite frank. I was always a Beano man, but I wonder if Dave sending those in might sway me the other way. I'm genuinely interested as to how much I've misremembered that. I think what might have happened. Those of you who are listening who are too young to remember the Beano or the Dandy, they probably still exist in some form, but it used to be the must-have comic for a young boy around the kind of late 80s, early 90s.

Yeah. And I wonder, Pete, if what's happened is I've amalgamated both comics into one in my mind and thought they were all in the Beano. Because a couple of the ones you told me the other week, I was sure they were Beano, but they were Dandy. So you never know. I'm going back into the office tomorrow. I'm going to have a look.

Billy Wiz. He's got a fucking straw in his head for fuck's sake. Yeah, what was that all about? Why did he have a straw in his fucking head? Billy Wiz is like a really fast running kid, right? That was his thing. Yeah, yeah. I think it was just his hair, wasn't it?

Was it? But he was completely bald, apart from this kind of straw coming out of his head, as if someone had sucked out his brain. And so he's just this kind of fast-running automaton. It's very interesting. Yeah. Luke, have you...

Can you account for your whereabouts last Tuesday or Wednesday at 1.40 in the morning? Okay. I don't know why I'm going to do this. I'm just reaching across the chip in my diary. So that would have been last Wednesday, I suppose, the 11th or 12th. Well, the 11th is my granddad's birthday. Oh, I see.

11th or 12th. I don't think I was doing anything. So you didn't go down to see your family or anything? I couldn't, could I? Because it was lockdown. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So I just gave a call. What happened? Tuesday or Wednesday, 22.2 in the morning, a driver in Gosport has been driving up and down the streets of Gosport with a megaphone shouting, wakey, wakey. He's driving a red Nissan Navara. Nice car. Yeah, he's just been driving up and down the roads with a megaphone shouting,

Do you have the name of the road? Wakey, wakey. Brockhurst Road. Oh, Brockhurst Road is literally the road off of where i grew up oh how interesting i love how you pronounce it plot thickens brockhurst is it brockhurst yeah it's just brockhurst so elson that is i mean that is arguably the main road in gosport interesting so 140 i mean that is very much behavior that you would that would that typifies the town i grew up in.

One of my first ever memories, I might have mentioned this before, but one of my first ever memories was looking out of the bedroom window that would become my sister's bedroom. Yeah. And seeing a man remonstrating at street level with a woman up in the first floor bedroom window. And she threw all of his stuff out the window. Yeah. And then he,

uh, reacted to that by setting fire to a car. Oh, wow. That was only about eight or 10 doors down from my house. Yeah. So, and then my next door neighbor later got busted for attempted murder

after we moved out. And that's mad because I used to jump into his garden to get my football back, and sometimes he was quite angry. It really puts it into perspective. Yeah, he could have been murdered to bits. So the story goes, and bearing in mind, this is a story that's been filtered through my dad,

so it might be, it might have been some bloke in the pub told another bloke in the pub, but I think... It's like those coffee beans that go through a monkey.

Yeah, it's an ocelot, isn't it? It's transformative. Yeah, but that makes them better, doesn't it? I don't think this makes

the story better. Okay, right. But it probably makes the story better, but it doesn't make it more true. But anyway, he,

this guy who, I mean, I'm not mentioning his name or the street or anything, so presumably this is going to be okay. I found out, and I did check the news story afterwards, and it did show up to be largely true, that this guy, he was a single guy, and he had a couple of lodgers living in, I guess, what was a three-bedroom house or whatever. And one of them, I think, just didn-bedroom house or whatever and um one of them i think just didn't pay the rent or whatever and had a big row about it and um they started

having a bit of a scuffle and the lodger legged it out of the house and the landlord the guy who was my next door neighbor when i lived next door uh chased after him with a kitchen knife chased him down fucking stabbed him up in the middle of the street good lord i know that's crazy isn't that crazy so in the context of that the megaphone seems quite quaint i mean if you do i mean he must have been like he plunges the knife in and he's like i mean there's no turning back here is there i mean there's this i mean that first one is going to get me in trouble as much as the 15th, I think. For what it is, for me, it's like the reason it makes it kind of mad is because, well, obviously it's a mad story anyway. But that is, when I think about that stuff and I read about that years later,

and occasionally I'll drive down that road that I grew up on because I have to go somewhere and visit my parents or whatever. And it's quite a quiet street. And, but that is the road i used to ride down as fast as i could to see if i could do it inside a minute and it's like i feel like that memory has now been sort of sort of dirtied in some way because if i if i'd ridden down as fast i couldn't saw a man's violently stabbing another man i don't think i would feel quite as nostalgic about it the um what happened with, I very much like the Romeo and Juliet story of a man torching his girlfriend's car.

I always think about, because I've known people who have had their shit thrown out of the window by a partner. Yeah. How does that relationship recover? Well, I don't think that's probably the case. People who are listening will, because I know people who have,

their relationship has been patched up after someone has thrown their shit out the window. How does that kind of recover? How do you get back to where you were? It's quite a thing, isn't it? It's quite a thing. It's quite a statement, isn't it? Yeah, and it's also a bit of a,

like a well-trodden cliche now you see in tv shows and movies where yeah it'll normally be the woman who'll cut up the men's the man's clothes because she's found that he's having an affair or whatever but yeah but the the estate so i didn't live on the estate i lived in on the road next to the estate so i could see the estate from where i lived um i don't know what it's like now, but it was really rough back in the day. And I just think that, I guess the woman just, I don't really know any of the detail because I was like five, but I think the woman just must have found out the man was doing something

he shouldn't have done, and the man reacted badly, and the whole thing's escalated. But, yeah, if you were asking me, Pete, in another way, do I think they're still together now? No, I fucking don't. Yeah, yeah. They probably never did get back together. Well, if anybody has ever had their clothes

thrown out of the window by a partner, hello at lukenpcho.com. Let us know how you patched it back up. That's all I want to know. Let me flip it around. What do you think the chances are of that your partner will set a fire to your moped at some point?

Well, it would only make it look more badass as I'm streaking down the main high street. That supervillain played by Nick Cage, what's it called? Ghost Rider. Ghost Rider. Skull on fire. Yeah, Ghost Rider. That'd be amazing.

It would look really cool. But actually, rounding that off, what I liked a bit, my favourite part of this Gosspot wiki wiki man that really made me laugh was the red Nissan Navara driver was also seen turning off his lights and shouting, you can't call the police because you can't see me. Oh, yeah, that is. I mean, again, nothing rings out of the ordinary here. The police force said how wrong he was.

Gosport is a mad town because it's basically a town where, or it certainly was, and I haven't lived there for some time, but I do visit there reasonably regularly. It always used to be a town where a lot of people from the Navy would live because it's opposite the other side of the harbour from Portsmouth. They'd be stationed in Portsmouth. And so you've got a real kind of melting pot of different people from all over different parts of the uk

living in that one town and it's also an interesting town because it's it's essentially a peninsula right so there's only one road really in and one road out all the other part all the other borders are the solent which is obviously a body of water that's out on the south coast so so it has got a real kind of end-of-the-line feel about it. So it used to have, I know everyone always claims this, but it used to have a ridiculous amount of pubs as well. It used to have, the street I grew up on, it would have probably be bordered by five pubs.

And when you think about that now, I know it's a shame because the pub industry is struggling, not just because of COVID, but for lots of reasons. And actually, on that note, as a very quick tangent, there's a really good series that just started on, I think it's on BBC Two, with Tom Kerridge, who used to be a really big fat guy and now is only a little fat guy, who runs the Hand and Flowers pub. He's a Michelin star chef.

He's always on the TV, jolly guy. You definitely recognize him. But he's doing this TV series about saving Britain's pubs. And what starts out as quite a pedestrian kind of fly on the wall look at just general stuff actually goes into quite a lot of detail about how the pub industry and how local landlords and kind of you know budding entrepreneurs who want to make a difference in their community are being strangled left right and center even before covid came along but anyway when you think about it pete like the the town i grew up in gospel's got 80 to 90 000 people in it and i reckon i reckon it must have had 200 pubs at one point i mean it's mad it's absolutely mad how many pubs it had.

So it's a rum old town, I'm telling you. Not in a kind of inner city London necessarily stabby kind of way, but it was quite an outlawry place for those reasons. Hartlepool's probably the same. Yeah, probably not quite as spicy, but yeah, to a less extent, I'd agree with that one. Officers eventually caught up with the 21-year-old driver from Fairham. He was in Fairham.

It's a different town. Fairham's different, mate. Different town. Yeah, they're wrong-uns. They're wrong-uns down there. What is he doing on our territory? What is he doing on our patch? They issued him with a warning,

and the warning means the driver's car can be seized if he gives residents further unwelcome wake-up calls in the next 12 months. Don't take his car away. Take his bloody loudspeaker, his loudspeaker away. I'm sorry, Peter, but if you are driving all the way from Fairham to Gosport to do that, right, you're a scum, scum of the earth. Do it down West Street in Fairham.

It's the next town along. You've driven all the way down to the next town along to do that. It's pathetic. I've lost all respect. Right, Megafoners, we'll be back in just a moment with more of your emails, or some of your emails even. WrestleMe is a show where two men watch every WrestleMania from 1 to 37, unpicking the multicoloured threads

that tie it all together. I think it's slightly something to do with the fact that Americans don't really like cell phones, do they? I think they've all got basic ones, basically. That's a big shout. It is a big shout, but I mean, there is something funny

about text messaging never took off in the States. What? Come on, now. Never been big. Whether you're a lapsed fan or someone who doesn't give a flying laureate about it, there's something for everyone. If you can get a crowd to boo you for kicking a fabulous ladder. And the crowd are booing.

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Yeah, I have. Before I get into it, though, I want to do a huge shout out to uh noah roth which is a great name by the way um sounds like he could be some kind of indie film director with that kind of name who after all this time has managed to find a new battery brand pete after how many years are we doing this two and a half quite a while longer probably probably three and a half and i thought i thought a long while ago we'd seen every battery brand that it was possible to see and and god bless the people on twitter at luke and pete show who send photos of obscure batteries they've seen wherever they are in the

world generally speaking 99 times out of 100 we've seen him before but on this occasion noah roth managed to unveil a brand new battery brand. I'm going to do an ersatz drum roll on my desk at home. Police security. Police security. Yeah. Fantastic. That's very proper like Chinese English, isn't it?

It's got to be like right what means authority power um and security i don't know security why do you want why do you want authority in a battery though no yeah you want volt you want high voltage you want a battery that takes control of your um consumer electronica and and and doesn't let it go if i if go. If I'm branding up a battery, I'm probably looking at the key word I'm looking at is longevity. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? I want it to be a long life battery.

I want it to be like, I would call it probably Helen Mirren. Yeah, yeah. I guess you want some, but that old, you don't want an old battery. Phil the power tailor. The top of the dock for 50 years. Yeah, exactly. You want the thing to actually be working for that amount of time. You don't want an old battery because that's leaky

and it might have lost its charge a little bit. I think you want a young, powerful battery. So young power is what I would call my battery. Young power. Sound like a rapper. Anyway, shout out Noah Roth. powerful battery so young power is how i would what i would call my young power anyway shout no roth it does actually yeah did you see that video of the um of a of a uh of a proud boys initiation over the weekend did it involve um putting their willies inside things it sounds like a sort of uh hazing it was absolutely pathetic it was way more pathetic than that right i mean there's a certain amount of bravery associated with getting the old chap out in public

i mean a certain amount of legal problem to get the old chap out in public particularly these days but what i'm saying is if they were to do that in a way you'd respect them more because because this was, I'm not joking, this was, it was basically like a university freshers week piss take. Right. I'm not making this up. And people can search for the video all they like online. It was five overweight bearded men standing around another overweight bearded man, giving him,

did he have to do a little pledge to the proud boys at the start? So, you know, it was definitely a proud boy thing. And then they all stood around him and gave him a dead arm until he could name five breakfast cereals. Oh, Jesus Christ.

I mean, that is more childish than, I mean, what? And they're filming that and going, this is what we're all about. Dead arms and breakfast cereals. Yeah. I mean, don't bring breakfast're filming that and going, this is what we're all about, dead arms and breakfast cereals. Yeah.

I mean, don't bring breakfast cereals into it. I know. What have they ever done? The thing that annoys me about that is they've been named. The brands have been named and that's gone around the internet now. Have the breakfast cereal,

have the breakfast cereals involved? They've not commented on it. No. Not yet, no. They've not. The best ever thing to come out of all that right-wing racist stuff online is when that guy just haymakers Richard Spencer right in the head.

Yeah, yeah. It's one of the best things I've ever seen. I think up there with racist absolute bodied men was the bloke who was on the chew quite recently in shorts, and he was shouting about how it's popular to be racist. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the three lads get off, and the one in the middle, the smallest, the smallest just absolutely whacks him.

And people online are going, oh, yeah, he sucker punched him. He didn't fucking sucker punch him. He was fronting up against three lads. I mean, fuck me. And he just goes down it's wonderful the timing of it is amazing because he waits for the beeps for the doors to close they just saunters off spectacular the thing is you know we can this is probably not the show to be you know moralizing about violence and all the rest of it i mean because whatever this is this is a leisure

time show you know take everything we say with a pinch of salt or don't or whatever you know with half the time we're talking about battery brands if all i'm saying is from a common sense point of view right we don't have to get political we don't have to moralize as i say as a common sense point of view if you were going to step up to three black men who are all bigger than you and start being racist you're not going to get a huge amount of sympathy from me if you get knocked out right no that's just a way of the world i'm sorry that's just how things can be sometimes and if that guy's learned a lesson from that do i hope he's seriously injured probably not do i hope he's learned his lesson absolutely but that is the way of the world sometimes right i think i think he lost his job because of uh i think he was employed by his dad and he lost his job i think

that was the case his dad should have taught His dad should have brought him up better. That's my take on that. I imagine his dad just chinned him as well. Speaking of people getting hammered, here's an email from George who was emailed in hello at lukeandpeachshow.com about something about his school report. So getting hammered metaphorically by a teacher. He, um, about, um, from his school, about something about a school report. So getting hammered metaphorically by a teacher,

he says, hi guys. When I was about 11, I received a following report from my chemistry teacher. Although he gave me an a in the subject, humble brag, he stuck the boot in with this comment, a very good brain,

but he sometimes seems to be on another planet. That's all right. Isn't it? Well, George says the thing is I was a complete square back then. I wasn't even a character in quotes, and I was usually fairly quiet. I have no idea what I'd done to make him think I was out of my tree. And in another report, I was told by a games teacher,

for those American people listening, that's like Jim. For some reason, they used to call PE games. I was told by my games teacher that I was, in quotes, a keen and reliable member of the squad, but the enthusiasm alone will not win, which is kind of clearly a way of telling me I was rubbish, no matter how hard I try. Anyway, I liked both those teachers,

even if the reports they wrote could have been a little less cutting. Cheers, George. So there you go. Enjoyable. I hid mine in the back of the wardrobe and we only found out I told you this didn't I I managed to in what is probably

the greatest achievement of my life I managed to convince my parents that the school didn't do reports which is mental considering that my mum and dad

were like friends with a lot of my friends' parents yeah it's an we have we have this kind of idea that our parents

are just constantly talking about us, what your son's done. But in reality, they're just exchanging pleasantries at the best of times. They don't want to talk about their kids any more than they talk to their own kids, I would say. Well, it came back to bite my parents because they only found my school reports when I was 18, so get in there.

Exactly. Can't get me now. I'm free as a bird. I'm off to Fairham. I still need to live here here so can you please let me start ali from bedford's got into cello chaps long time ish listener and second time email i recently sent an email detailing my uh allergy of anesthetics with a quite horrifying accompanying tale oh yeah which understandably didn't make the pod i've been listening to your entire back

catalog of pods as a result picking up night shifts at an amazon warehouse near me and i'm needing new or old listening material i'm so glad you're able to listen to um things nowadays uh in in one of those kind of um uh operation yeah factories because back in the day i was never allowed my own headphones in very very upsetting and also pete on that very very quickly i don't want to get anyone in any trouble i'm particularly not um ali but if someone wants to email in anonymously if they work at an amazon warehouse and tell us what it's really like i'd be interested because you hear a lot of negative press yeah and so i'd like to know from the horse's mouths if possible hey bezo saying gonna make that mad paper it's giving a living

wage i mean if jeff bezos is listening there's no point in me manning because presumably his working conditions are fine. Oh, Len's a tenner, mate. Len's got the free Marantz microphones. We can get in your pocket for $10. He probably doesn't even know what a tenner is. No, exactly. Yeah, $10,000. Anyway, we were talking about Donald Trump,

and I think for whatever reason I said that his penis, his Johnson, so to speak, looked like the Mario character Toad. At this point, Luke jumped in to defend Toad and even claimed that Toad seemed like a decent bloke. This claim could not be further from the truth, however, as Toad is in fact a pedophile. What? It's well documented that Toad and Toadette are a couple,

but when researching their ages, it becomes apparent What? It's well documented that Todd and Taudette are a couple, but when researching their ages, it becomes apparent that Todd, a 25-year-old video game favorite, is only bloody dating a nine-year-old. You could do the Googling yourself, but I would seriously have concerns if any of my mates in their 20s started a relationship with a child in year four. Love the pod. Keep me going at the moment, chaps,

and I hope this revelation tickles you as much as it did me. Cheers. Ali from Bedford. Now, I knew that Mario and Peach weren't necessarily, they were like James Bond slash Leo DiCaprio kind of aged, so to speak. Right, okay. But I didn't realize Toad and Toadette were such a problematic relationship. I mean, they're fictional characters, aren't they?

Yeah, but I mean, at least put them in the right age bracket, you know. Surely. I don't really know how Ali knows this information. There's a Romeo and Juliet rule, but there's no Toad and Toadette legal classification, is there? So my kind of insight into Toad seeming like he was an all right character is that I always used to select either Toad or Koopa Troopa

on Mario Kart on the Super Nintendo. But one thing that does confuse me about it is that Toad appears to be of the same species or at least the same kind of, I don't know, category as all the other mushrooms in Mario World. And all the mushrooms are evil. Totally the only non-evil one. Is it like Gizmo was the only non-evil gremlin?

I don't really know what the relationship between Gizmo and the gremlins were. Gizmo seemed to spawn the gremlins, right? I don't really know how that could be possible. Out of his back, if you got him wet or whatever. It just seems quite difficult. One thing that's also never mentioned in Gremlins, right, is that obviously the famous rules from the movie Gremlins,

one of them is obviously don't get Gizmo wet, but the other one is don't ever feed him after midnight. But it's never mentioned that when you can start feeding him again, what's your cut off? Yeah. He's just going to stink, isn't he? 6am, 7? He's just going to absolutely stink.

Well, like a chinchilla. Yeah, chinchillas have to have dust baths because they can't have water. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah. I used to look after a ferret every now and again, particularly for a walk and stuff at the zoo, and we had a little spray to keep the stink down, so to speak. I was thinking about it, by the way.

My friends genuinely had a chinchilla called gizmo nice i love it yeah i will have it should we get should we get out of here and come back on thursday yep um that is about as much as we've got time for on today's luke and pete show on this monday the 16th of november thank you very much for joining us we hope you're having a lovely time or as much as can be expected in lockdown if you're in the UK or wherever you are in the world. We will be back on Thursday with a lot more of this inanity. So look forward to that.

Leave us a review on iTunes or Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts and make sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. Until Thursday, we will bid you adieu. Goodbye from me and goodbye from Pete as well. Peace out. This was a Stakhanov production and part of the ACAST Creative Network.