The Luke and Pete Show - Man eats phone

Episode Date: March 19, 2020

In this second episode of The Laura and Luke Show, Laura talks about what it's like living with an Australian man (spoiler: it appears to be pretty much *exactly* how you'd imagine), we find out what her parents really think of her, and there's a harrowing story about her mother encountering what she thought was a dead person on a flight.We also spend quite a bit of time talking about how important it is to be domestically competent, and there's plenty of your stories as well. To tell us about how good you are at DIY or to complete any of our ongoing homework tasks, get in touch: [e-mail]   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to Thursday's episode of the Luke and Pete show with me Luke Moore and the lovely Laura Kirk. Hello, I'm back. You are back. We're in the same room. Yeah, so we thought you'd best for you to stick around. It's great to talk to you. you hope you've had a good week I hope everything's ok, hope you're looking after yourselves

all that good stuff, Pete is still away he will be back next week as things stand although I might get Laura to come back or maybe ask Jack again you guys have been my favourites we've had a whole week of a female voice we've probably hit the quota for the year

that's a dig at Stakhano but I think that I can say what I like about Pete on this because I know you won't listen so if you want to air any grievances you're welcome to do so I just hope he's safe and I hope he's happy he's not happy

he's never happy it's thursday uh we've been gearing up for the weekend now hopefully although i'm not really sure what um what's going to be available to us the situation really corona is moving so quickly that you never really know what's happening from one time to the next so as we're recording this episode in advance because we have to we should probably just swerve it i'm sure people will be getting much more accurate and much more informative news about coronavirus outside of the luke i was gonna say i've got really you know i've got loads of hot takes on it that the listeners might want to hear that i've got from social media i think if you are listening to this show for advice on anything

let alone a massive public health crisis stop press stop have a real think about your life yes step away from the episode we still get the download doesn't harm us and go and listen to something a little bit more informative from i don't know the guys at pod save the world or something like that yeah or i'd recommend twitter no i would not recommend twitter i joke are you laura do you rate yourself as being quite good on twitter um i feel like you're setting me up for failure with that question um I think I'm quite good on Twitter yeah I've got what makes you good I've got a few thousand followers is that mean you're good I I think so um I think the thing with the thing with Twitter is that when

I first joined it I was very much a voyeur I was just there to observe to observe yeah now I get I get a lot of value from twitter um i certainly have people that i follow on twitter who i've never met in real life i'm like yeah i think they're like me decent yeah that's how i'm sitting here yeah because because of twitter yeah um sometimes i think you know what i'm gonna type this tweet out and this is gonna bang this is gonna get 20 000 this is going to bang what's your biggest return you've ever had on the tweet um oh so that would have been last year when i think in the same week arsene wenger announced that he was looking for a role in management so this was obviously after he'd

left arsenal and i think probably a year later and he said yeah you know i'd like to get back into management and theresa may announced that she was not going to be standing but that happened in the same week so on the kind of sidebar of trending things you've got Theresa May leaving and then the next one down was Arsene looking for a job in management so I screenshotted that and I was like well well well all right um tweeted that it was picked up by the like lad bible all those kind of um so you did numbers. So it did numbers. However, it did numbers as well because Jack, fellow guest on this pod... From Jack Makes Happy Hour. ...saved my picture and then tweeted it out himself.

Did he really? He did. And I checked because I downloaded his picture and checked what the resolution was against my one. It was exactly the same. So he basically stole my tweet. I'm going to put him up on that. Please do. He'll be embarrassed about that.

He will because it was my photo. It was my photo it was my photo that he used these are brave and bold accusations and he did numbers and I think

mine got about 1.5 K K yeah Bill the thing about Jack is that

he'll be mortified I imagine there's some kind of explanation to that because he's not that kind of guy but the thing about Jack on social media

it takes a lot of getting used to and his show is very good and he's very successful he's not that kind of guy but the thing about Jack on social media it takes a lot of getting used to and his show is very good and he's very successful he's brilliant at what he does I know you're a fan of his work as

well if he tweets just out of Snickers yeah right the most boring it'll do 5,000 likes I know it just kills me and I'm

like I've been scripting this brilliantly witty observational tweet you know I've got it down to the characters it's going to be amazing and it'm like I've been I've been scripting this brilliantly witty observational tweet yeah you know I've got it down to the characters it's yeah it's gonna be amazing and it gets like five likes from my kind of core people who like everything I do what did you by the way random question but it might be somewhat related what did you do at uni again I did French Spanish and then management management okay right so you could have taken Arsenal's job I could I could

have done I've got my FA badges. Have you really? Yeah. What ones? I've got three, I think. You haven't got the UEFA licence? Absolutely not. No, you've got to get Level 2 first before you do that. Yeah.

No, I've got Level 1. I've got Level 1 for young footballers. And then I've got one for disabled footballers as well. Okay, right. I can imagine you being the type of person who goes and gets those qualifications. Because you're quite busy, aren't you? No, I did them specifically when I did a gap year. Oh, okay, right. But I mean, you're quite busy the way that, like,

Roy Keane accused the Neville brothers of being busy. Not as in, you're always doing stuff, as in you're always sort of sticking your beak in. How long have we been recording for? Wow, okay. Do you consider yourself someone who sticks their beak in? No, I don't think getting an FA badge can be considered sticking your beak in. Are you a curtain twitcher?

Maybe. Are you a parent? No. I'm sorry, I'm still wheeling from the fact you just called me. I can't even answer your question properly because I'm so insulted. You can throw insults back my way. I'm so insulted right now. That's what Pete normally does.

Can I throw an insult at you? I just want to pick up on something that you said last week on the show and I was listening to it so you mean not Monday the one we just done a week ago and I was going about my daily life listening to the Luke and Pete show and when I listen to the Luke and Pete show I am looking for you to mess up

so that I can text you I think most people are I'm like I can't wait for Luke to say something stupid so I can message him. How long did it take? A couple of minutes? This one actually lasted until, I guess, halfway through. And I was like, okay, this has been relatively tame so far. I might stop listening.

And then you read out an email, I think, from a listener. And you say Malia. And it should be? Malia. And I was like, yes, here we go. He's tripped up. He said Malia. And then Pete said Malia. And it should be... Malia. And I was like, yes, here we go. He's tripped up. He said Malia. And then Pete said Malia.

And I was like, what the fuck? What is Malia? That's annoying for two reasons. One, because I should know better. Because you've been to Malia. I've been there. And two, I'm not that posh. That's kind of the way a posh person would say it, right?

No, but I don't think anyone says it like that. I don't think I've ever come across anyone who's gone, oh, yeah, where'd you go after your A-levels? Oh, Malia. It's just Malia. I can imagine some of those posh guys who live around where you live going, oh, I went to Malia. It was actually quite a joke.

Oh, Malia. Yeah. That's the song, but everyone else is Malia. Have you been to Malia? No, I went to Zante. It's a Kintfos. Similar vibe. Very similar vibe. Yeah. As all of these places are. Why did you go there instead of Malia? Have you been to Malia? No, I went to Zante. Similar vibe? Very similar vibe. Yeah. As all of these places are. Why did you go there instead of Malia? Well, there

were kind of various friendship groups, as I think there are in most schools, and people would kind of stake their claim on where they'd go. So there was already a group going to Malia. So you don't want to go there as well. Why? Hang out with them? No, you want to branch out. You want to see the other 18-year-olds. That's what you're there for, to meet new people, have a great time. Okay. So Malia was taken. Ayia Napa taken.

Ayia Napa was the cool one, right? Yeah, Ayia Napa was the cool one, but there was already a group of people going there. People were going to Magaluf. Can you just go at a different time? No, because you just wanted to go in that first of like first week of July when the season starts. Okay, right. So we ended up with Zante, which was great. Was it good?

It was good. But looking back, was it horrific? We were quite tame, I think. We were a group of girls, all with boyfriends. So there was no like, we weren't out shagging every night. We were not out shagging every night. We were quite tame. I mean, we thought we were outrageous because we'd like go out at one o'clock come back in the morning at seven oh we've had a

night out from uh we thought we were outrageous but based on the other behaviors i think from fellow groups we were pretty tame so do you think but do you think there's a generational fix how old are you now 28 so if you saw what 18 year olds were up to now you'd be horrified because when i don't know the reason i asked that is because i i feel like the next generation always is a i don't know i shouldn't ascribe a kind of value system to it it's not better or worse i suppose it's just different and the reason i've been to malia is because not the reason you think so when i was a kid i went to magaluf yeah i went to tenerife i didn't go to malia but i went my my uncle used to live in crete and i went there on a holiday with uh my ex-girlfriend my girlfriend at

the time because my friend was getting married in crete and my uncle lived there in a different part and for a day i thought well we need to go visit him because you know obviously it's not every every day you get to go see him so we jumped in the car and drove across the island of Crete to where he lived on the far east coast. And we had to drive through Malia. Right. And it was probably about eight in the morning. Yeah. Heaving.

Yeah. Heaving with people. Drunk. Everywhere. Drunk people on those little quad bikes. Oh, my God. The quad bikes. Yeah.

And I remember my girlfriend at the time going, what is this? What is this what is this and it's only later on when we realized that we saw the some of the signs it was like oh it's fucking this is it mate and then later made famous by the in-betweeners movie i don't think there's anything more harrowing than seeing it in the daylight oh my god like it's fine when it's dark it's like return to the scene of a crime oh my gosh it's awful i remember we went on a um classic we went on a booze cruise.

Yeah. And you had to meet outside one of the clubs at two o'clock in the afternoon. Right. And you're walking down the street like this is disgusting. Yeah. Because you've never seen it in the daylight. No. Wow, okay.

It's not what you want. This is what this looks like in the day. I remember at uni having to go back to a nightclub to get my coat or something. I've done that with Inferno, so I've had to go and get a coat. What, in Clapham? Yes. That's the worst club in the world, by the way. Yes.

I think it's the worst club in the world. I'd agree. And going back to get a coat or something and seeing people cleaning it. And in the day, inside, it just feels weird. It feels dirty. It feels so wrong. Sticky floor. Yeah.

Just grim. So, Marley, that's embarrassing for me. Anything else that you want to put... I mean, to be honest, I've done about 250 episodes of this. There's a lot of things you can put me up on. No, that... I mean, calling a battery... I know you love batteries on this show.

A Valium battery for a bit. That was Pete, but you didn't correct him. Because I don't know anything about it. Well, I think you're both like, oh, Valium doesn't quite sound right. And I'm listening to my headphones and I'm going, Valium's a drug, guys. Valium doesn't exist in batteries.

Maybe it does, I don't know. I'm fairly certain there was a reason Pete had Valium on the brain, put it that way. But the thing is, this might not be known by the listeners, but I'm well known among our company for being the least tech savvy person so they all took the piss out of me so if I would know in that situation I can't fully

remember it but I would know in that situation that it isn't Valium but I wouldn't know what it was. Can't offer the alternative. I'd be too I wouldn't be confident enough to suggest something. I thought I always had you down as quite a techie person. No no not really no enough to get by. But so you set these mics up quite quickly. Yeah, but I've got experience doing that. That is your job, to be fair. I'm not so stupid I can't learn something and then repeat it. Yeah.

I mean, I don't have your education, Laura, but I didn't do too bad. So because we're recording podcasts at home at the moment because of the obvious reasons, I can set up my own little home studio. I can do that because I've been doing that for a long time. Yeah. for the obvious reasons. I can set up my own little home studio. I can do that because I've been doing that for a long time.

Yeah. But if you were to say to me, oh, Luke, I need to drive home and my car's broken. Can you look at it? You're not techie. I can look at it, but I can't fucking do anything with it. Can't look at it. It's not working. Engine's not working.

Same as your computer. So I'm kind of in that Venn diagram where I'm clever enough, techie enough on computers to fix my mum's computer, probably, but anyone else is better i'm stepping back what about so i feel like this is quite late pete is too clever about it he'll be too so clever about it he would have taken the back off it when you don't need to mucked around with it and it would have either gone wrong or it'll be doing things you've never realized it

could do actually that's fair i'm sure we've gone into the studio once or twice and tried to turn things on and pete's done something to it oh yeah and we're like oh this this looks different yeah other people who aren't me who are more unfair than me i'll be like why is he fucking fiddling all the time so you're not techie what about like diy because i feel like that's that's closely linked so yeah up to a point i can do diy so did you see in the spare room i've got a TV on the wall yeah did you do that I did that yeah that's quite impressive I did that light fitting as well

I can do some stuff I mean that's screwing that's screwing it onto the ceiling isn't it no you've got to click you've got to click it in otherwise it won't turn on Laura no obviously

alright don't patronise me please okay fair enough you've hung your chandelier I can do plugs and plug sockets and stuff other than that if someone says to me, oh, we need to do some plastering, I ain't doing that.

Oh, no. What about you? What about your boyfriend? Because he's really good. He's really good. Right. So you know people like me get intimidated by people like that. Yeah, that's 90% of the attraction, to be honest,

that he's really, really good at stuff. As high as 90? Yeah, as high as 90%. For example, so he's just moved into my flat so we're living together now and I've been wanting to paint a wall

bright green for ages. Yeah. I've had the paint sitting there ready to go but I've just not backed myself to do it well

and he just did it in like a day beautifully like masked it all up cut in all of that kind of stuff. Does it look good? It looks really good

but also he You should come over here. He should do because I see you've got your paint samples there masked it all up, cut in, all of that kind of stuff. Does it look good? It looks really good. But also he... It should come over here. It should do. Because I see you've got your paint samples there. I know. Our house is full of paint samples. Is your bright green greener than that? No, no, it's like, it's bright, bright green.

It's like probably this rug that your cats have clearly sat on. Yeah, okay. It's that colour. But there were also, on the wall, there were shelves already on there. And in my head head I'm like well you just paint around them no

you don't need to take them off he was like don't be stupid so he took them all off painted it very handy

very handy you're probably doing some DIY now that you're over here possibly I hope so stuff you didn't

even know needed doing exactly he just fixed it that's brilliant but yourself you're not brilliant at it

you're saying I'll try I'll try. I'll certainly try. By the way, haven't you recently moved in with your boyfriend? Yes. So what was that like? Tell us about that.

That's a universal thing everyone can get behind. Well, it's been a long time coming, Luke. We've been together five years. Right, okay. And it's always been a bit of an area of, you know, argument. Because I just really enjoyed living with my friends. Yeah. And then my brother. Grow up, yeah. then my brother grow up

yeah you need to grow up i have already okay i've tried um and then we you know decided that he he would move in um do you know what it's been fine there's been there's been some arguments around trivial things for example the first weekend he moved in how long has he been there by the way he's been there it'll be sort of two months now okay so we're still into the kind of like trial period okay right he's got a six month probation are you calling it a trial period because that could be the source of some of the arguments i feel like though if you go back from living together to living apart that doesn't really say anything good about the relationship no i don't think you ever can go back exactly and that was the that was my main fear that this feels quite permanent now i'm never going to be

able to sleep in my own bed again by myself which I think is quite a lot to deal with first weekend he moves in, he's unpacking his stuff we've cooked and stuff and he put the wok not back in where it belongs I've got a cupboard full of saucepans

and in my head, a wok is a saucepan it's just a larger version of it he put it in this drawer and I was like babe that's that's not really that's not where that goes he was like

oh but I think it just fits better there and I just thought oh what he's tested your boundaries yeah you've only lived here for 14 hours

and you're already moving things around my kitchen I'm not sure how I feel about that other than that it's been good it has been good

I think that's not bad going really yeah I think that's pretty good it's just. Yeah, I think that's pretty good. It's just quite weird having someone there all the time. Yeah. You wake up there. It does take a bit of getting used to.

But the thing is, when I was asking you the question, Mimi and I were engaged before she moved in. Oh, wow. Because she was living in the US. So it was a bit of a different situation. But as cheesy as it sounds, I never really considered anything else. It was like, she's going to move here, it's going to be great. Oh, that's Yeah. So it was a bit of a different situation. But as she uses this sound, I never really kind of considered anything else. It was like, she's in the movie, it's going to be great. Oh, that's lovely.

And it has been great. And it is lovely, but I think it's partly because I simply just do whatever she says. That is one way of getting around this. Yeah. And the moment I step out of my kind of comfort zone and try and sort of put my chest out a bit,

it backfires. And it happened yesterday but I went into the kitchen and um Mimi's bowl and spoon from her breakfast was on the side right so I came back in here and I said oh I mean when you take your bowl and spoon out just put it in the dishwasher don't leave it on the side and she was like just tapping away doing her thing and like calm as you like she just looked up and went yeah okay fine but um you took that out there not me and i was like oh yeah i did didn't i and i basically said i'm sorry about that if i just even try yeah i just get i'm just out of my depth there's a queen in this house and it's not you i think that's probably why i um take the piss out of pete all the time because i'm so put upon in my own home life but to be fair that if that's how it works that's how it works I'm just I'm dynamic I'm

failing to establish my dominance I think yeah and I think the key is not to worry about the dynamic just accept the dynamic it's not it's not a reflection on but the walk doesn't go in that drawer Luke it just doesn't what else has been going on in the two months since you've been living together has it been apart from that it's been fine is it yeah it's a big step for people it is a big step um we are very lucky that we've got a spare room um and i've always said if either of us can't sleep then you need to go in the spare room um we've only had one incident of that and that is when he went out on a sunday night to i think the Super Bowl. And he obviously came back super late and super pissed. Oh, right.

And he does this thing, which I think is quite common among men. When he's pissed, he will just fall on the bed, fully clothed, and pass out. And I cannot move him. So I just have to go and sleep in the other room. Oh, because you can't physically move him. I can't physically move him. He's got his shoes on. He's got his belt on.

And, you know, that's the main, I think think point of contention when you move in with someone it's the are we actually going to be able to sleep properly yeah i don't think i mean i might be told otherwise but i don't think i've ever really done that no i don't not certainly not not certainly not in the in recent memory well i don't to be honest i mean as much as people don't like probably don't like to hear this from me, I'm not really a very big drinker. So I won't really get that drunk.

No, I don't tend to, no. Yeah, maybe you should have a chat with my boyfriend. There is a happy place between not drinking and getting so pissed that, you know. Oh, I didn't say I was happy.

Yeah, fair enough. The other thing that he does, which I've known about since we've been together, is when he is that pissed, he will come home and get in the bath and he'll run himself a bath

at three o'clock in the morning, which I absolutely hate. That's bullshit. So his theory is that it hydrates him by osmosis. You'll cohabit with an Australian, that's the problem. I know.

But I have to sit there and supervise him in the bath because I'm terrified he's going to drown. hydrates him by osmosis. You'll cohabit with an Australian, that's the problem. But I have to sit there and supervise him in the bath because I'm terrified he's going to drown. Because you can drown in a tiny bit of water and he's so pissed. He's sat there in the bath and it's running and I have to sit there on the toilet like I'm my mum. This is brilliant, Laura, because before we did this show, I've always been...

I always think of you in my mind as being quite swept up quite in control everything's happening you know what you're doing this has lifted the curtain in a big way yeah this imagine on on any kind of given saturday night chances are i'll probably be in my bathroom supervising my 30 year old boyfriend while he has a bath and he's so drunk that he can't speak that is my life at the moment that's brilliant all alright on that note we're going to take a quick break when we come back we'll do some emails

and we're going to find out what Laura's parents really think about her as well stick around welcome back to the Luke and Pete show with me Luke Moore and me Laura Kirk

from the excellent revisiting podcast part of the Stakhanov stable go listen to it subscribe to it now. You will not regret it. It's Laura and another crazier person called Laura.

It's well worth listening to. So hello at LukeandPeteShow.com to get in touch. You guys all know that, but we need to put the email address out there for new listeners and people who are forgetful. Pete regularly gives out the email address wrong, so not everyone can automatically remember it. But Laura, a while back we had the aforementioned Jack Dean on. Yes. He was great. I love Jack.

And he set the homework, which was text your parents or your grandparents and ask them what they think the worst thing about you is. Now, when I text my mum, my mum's lovely. She was very predictable she just i think i said at the time she said oh you know you're lovely you're great you know you're my boy but you just need to get you just need to call me more typical mom stuff right my mom would never criticize me yeah she's just too nice um uh pete's mom was quite funny but i can't can't remember what it is but you live in what i presume is quite a repressed middle class household.

Is that what you grew up in? What do you mean by repressed? Well, I mean, you won't be... So this might be wrong. I don't want to offend anyone, least of all you, and especially our listeners. But my pigeonhole, my lazy pigeonholing of the difference between working class backgrounds and middle class backgrounds is working class backgrounds, to me, in my experience are a lot more emotional interesting they'll cry they'll tell you they love you it's kind of like an italian household but there'll be arguments

right whereas middle class it's kind of a bit like shake hands well done lad thanks very much you're good kids really and that's as close as you'll get so was yours like a little bit more emotional was it less emotional? Definitely less emotional. Although the idea of like shaking my dad's hand, like well done with the GCSEs. Well done. Is that what you were doing? Would he hug you?

Yes. Okay, cool. My dad will hug me. That's good. However, what you've said there is interesting because my mum does listen to the podcast, my podcast. Yeah.

And obviously I talk a lot about how I felt as a teenager, what I went through as a kid, that kind of thing. And my mum has had no idea. Are you self-conscious about that? Not at all. You don't mind her listening? Not at all.

No, not at all. But she loves listening because, because there was a kind of, not, not a distance at all, but kind of, I wasn't openly.

You're not going to be saying these things to your mum, Exactly. So she listens to the podcast as a little kind of insight into what i was actually like as a child and why actually what emotions i felt because we just didn't express them yeah between ourselves so yeah i'd say i'd say your sweeping generalization for me is actually quite right okay cool so did you text them and ask them what they think what the worst thing about you is i did yes and obviously my mom um my mom was like no you know you're a great kid and i was like no no that's come on mom that's not the yeah that's not what we're doing here um and then when she thought about it a bit more she said

actually laura there's loads of things so can you give me a bit more of a bit more of a like an idea of what you're after have you got any like categories like the worst thing you ever said like the worst habit because i've got loads of stuff now i just thought oh okay yeah it's a sunday afternoon i'm gonna get a beating for my mom about what i was like as a child but where she settled um which i think is probably fair was that she said that I was very stubborn as a child very very stubborn and she says uh when you were very little you begged us for a wetsuit to wear in the sea in Cornwall nice we told you you wouldn't like it but you absolutely insisted when you finally got it on you threw the biggest tantrum known to man culminating in your dad dragging you down the beach to the sea wearing Wow.

That's amazing. That's amazing. I do remember this as well, because I wanted a wetsuit because my brother had one. So I've got an older brother. And if you put a wetsuit on when it's dry,'s not very comfortable and so I threw this massive tantrum try to rip it off me do you remember it yeah I remember it and my dad effectively you know you've got a little tag on the back of it yeah um he basically carried me from where we were on the beach to the sea while

I screamed my head off and shouted at people who were obviously looking at me what are you looking at that's brilliant that's not what I'd expect from you by the way i know so yeah i was quite a stubborn child um and that was the worst of it that's funny um what about this from sam nichols in edinburgh who's emailed in saying i found the story online which is both florida man like and relates to the conversation on lithium ion batteries from last week's show and he's linked to a news website

from the Edinburgh News and listen to this headline this is amazing you'll like this drunk thug who forced

easy jet plane diversion to Edinburgh after eating his mobile phone during mid-air rant is jailed

a drunk passenger who calls an aircraft diverter to Edinburgh because he began eating his mobile phone has been jailed. He was travelling from Manchester to Iceland with his mother for a birthday break. How can you eat your mobile phone? How was your birthday? It's great. Yeah.

Young, what's his name? Young Matthew. Yeah, he took me away took me away to iceland oh was it nice well we didn't actually get there because he started ranting and ate his own mobile phone he's 44 by the way oh my god yeah just i mean i'm looking at my phone here and i'm like where do you start do you start nibbling on the cover i don't know but it all started when apparently as soon as the seatbelt signs went off, he jumped up and grabbed a full bottle of gin from an overhead locker

and started drinking it. And then he abused the crew by shouting, swearing and issuing threats. And then he started chewing on his own mobile phone, which meant the damaged phone battery fell onto his seat and started to smoulder. Oh, my God. Okay, so I can see why the plane had to divert. Yeah.

I mean, that's not ideal, is it? That's crazy. I mean, I've seen some poor behaviour on planes before, particularly one when I think I was coming home from Dubai, and, you know, you've got your little screen in front of you. Yeah. None of them were working, so they basically tried to reset them

loads of times wasn't going to work i hate that and you know they're really apologetic but ultimately there's something they can do if they're not working and i this guy in front of me with his solution to it was just to get pissed yeah and i can understand then obviously halfway through the flight the the crew um refused to serve him yeah and i remember him chasing this woman down the kind of plane demanding a gin and tonic and they had to restrain him

like literally wrap seatbelts around him it's great drama great drama one of my biggest well not one of my biggest regrets

but something that's a bit of a shame is that when I was flying out to the US once I was sat four rows in front of a massive disturbance but I didn't know it had happened were you asleep? no I was sat four rows in front of a

massive disturbance but I didn't know it had happened were you asleep? no I was just I had my headphones and I was watching a movie and there was this noise

on the plane so you couldn't hear but when we landed there was a load of press in the airport cameras because I was flying to the US

you know those spot interview people with their cameras a load of that and what happened was it was a few days after a terrorist attack, and a woman on our plane had tried to light up a cigarette on the plane. Oh, my God.

So she got told that she couldn't, and she went on a massive rant, and she tried to open the plane door. Which you can't really do. No, you can't. So they handcuffed her to the seat. They didn't use seatbelts. Did they? But I didn't know it happened.

When we landed, the pilot came over and said, under US law, you need to remain in your seats with your seatbelts fastened because US marshals need to enter the aircraft. I was like, what is happening? Oh, my God. And they marched her out, and that's what happened. Wow. But the bad thing about it was, Laura,

the way that information travels around the world these days, I'm pretty sure, I mean, it's a while ago now. I might have even talked about it on here at the time, but when I got into Arrivals, the news people knew more about it than I did. So one of them tried to interview me and explained what had happened. And I was like, I've got no comment, I'm not

interested, and I walked off. You said, I was just watching Guardians of the Galaxy, I was having a lovely time. Yeah, I think I was watching, I might have been watching that Johnny Cash movie. Oh yeah, yeah. good oh is that how long ago this was oh no no it's not always

new films on is it it wasn't back in the late 90s it's interesting that you said they handcuffed the person so my mum is cabin crew

oh that's right yeah and I remember when she was doing her training this would have been probably 15 years ago she came home from

training one day and was like I've learnt 10 different ways you can restrain someone today it's fascinating wow but you know things like um how to rip the seats up if you need to form like a barricade that's fascinating absolutely fascinating i bet there's loads of stuff they can do that you ever think about i mean that was the interesting side of the training she also has to do incredibly mundane um so every airport in the world has a three

letter um code yeah so london heathrow is lhr yeah she had to learn all of the airports in the world has a three letter code yeah so London Heathrow is LHR yeah she had to learn all of the airports in the world and what code it was

you know any of them I know LHR because that's London Heathrow but the rest of them LGW isn't it but like I don't know how many airports there are in the world

but it was like I remember her sitting there with this book and all these codes trying to learn she just took the book with you I know but it was like

what if someone asks you in the airport has she got any other good stories from Cameron Crewe World with this book and all these codes trying to learn. She just took the book with you. I know. But it was like, you know, what if someone asks you in the airport? Has she got any other good stories from Cameron Crewell? She had one where she was, it was, I think, a night flight, so lots of people were asleep. The seatbelt sign goes on. You've got to wake people up if they're sleeping,

if they've not got their seatbelt visible. Anyway, she touches this guy on the arm and it's cold. She's like, oh, my God. So she sort of shakes him a little bit and he won't wake up. Touches his arm. Arm is really, really cold. She's like, fuck, this guy's dead. So goes to the back, informs the pilot, gets the defibrillator. She's like, well, see if we can get him back to life.

Comes back to him, gets it all like, well, he's, you know, see if we can get him back to life. You know, comes back to him, gets it all ready, tries to wake him up again. And then, just as they're about to effectively charge him, he wakes up. And they're like,

what the hell? Like, what's going on? And you're cold. And he rolls up his sleeve. He's got a prosthetic arm. And it's dead cold, because it's plastic.

And he'd basically taken a sleeping pill, was knocked out, and they were about to charge him. Yeah, exactly. She should have checked his pulse. Should have checked his pulse. Should have checked anything. That's a good story, though.

Before you'd gone and charged him because he's got a plastic arm. That's a really good story. I didn't know where you were going with that. I was absolutely engrossed in that. Exactly. So, yeah, she's got loads of stories of people being rude as well. People just can be dicks on flights. I think when she used to do the Ibiza flightiza flight she's like that's the worst one yeah

that's the worst one by a mile i went to ibiza for a wedding once and i flew back among a lot of those kind of people it's like jesus what are you doing when yeah when she used to do obviously when ba used to fly to tripoli in libya there was a point at which you enter libyan airspace and obviously you can't serve alcohol there so in the five minutes before then it would just be an absolute

free for all people just wanting alcohol and then they have to shut it off aren't people weird people are so weird yeah it's like

happens at last orders and stuff yeah that's true so the way I see it I mean obviously I didn't have this attitude when I was 18 but now I'm like

look you've had six pints I don't even need a seventh there's no real reason for it no but you'd go and be like

I want four gin and tonics like the double and I'll just I'll have them to myself because we all know what's going to happen you're going to try and go on a shortcut

back to a field you're going to get bitten by a horse exactly a horse is going to kick you up the arse or you're going to get pounded by the police

climbing over a barbed wire fence alright on that bombshell I think we're pretty much out of time but my great great thanks to Laura Kirk thank you so much for having me

it's been great we'll have you back sometime soon when Pete goes on his next holiday we need another female voice exactly

I'm here another female voice so when Pete goes away I guess how are you fixed for the first week of April pretty free

don't forget you can get in touch hello at lukeandpeatshow.com if this keeps up we'll change it to hello at lukeandlaurashow.com

and go well stay safe have a great, and we'll see you again soon. Say goodbye, Laura. Goodbye. See you soon. This was a Stakhanov production.