The Luke and Pete Show - MDMA on a Desert Island

Episode Date: May 11, 2026

GB News continues to evade toothless regulatory bodies and Pete’s dad continues to tune in. It turns out Luke’s met plenty of the presenters, many of whom are, unsurprisingly, “characters”.Elsewhere, a dinghy-based story from Luke gives way to a discussion about desert islands, both real and imagined. Pete’s got it all worked out for a life of isolation.Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: [e-mail] Luke and Pete Show is the sometimes ridiculous, always funny podcast with Luke Moore and Pete Donaldson: two men who have time on their hands and a good idea of how to waste it. Subscribe to get your comedy podcast fix every Monday and Thursday. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's Monday It's the Luke and Pete Shaw I am Peter Little Petey Donaldson And I'm joined by Mr Lukey Murr There was a recent Visit to a brewery

That we all did There was The Orgy Ramblers Me I remember it well yeah Marcus and Jim And a few Production friends

And we all went there And we all took some pictures For the launch Of the new lager That the Football Rambler Have been involved in My Fizzy Ant and there was a picture where

I don't know what had gone wrong, right, whatever, where Jim looked like the biggest boy who ever lived. Yeah, people were commenting on that. He looked bigger than you. Yeah, he's not bigger than me. And I looked smaller than Marcus, which I'd like to go on record to say I'm not, were exactly the same height,

me, Marcus and Vish pretty much. And I was just very surprised. I don't know what it was. The brewery, the perspective, the lens. How did it make Jim look so big? I think he's standing slightly closer to the camera, isn't he? Yeah. It's like one of those weird, Ripley's Believe it or not optical illusion.

It is. It's like the Glasgow, I don't know. Every city has one of those museums. And I think Glasgow has one of the better ones. But every city has like a museum of erotica in Europe, certainly. and it'll also have a museum of the bizarre and it'll be like, it'll be like they've taped a table to the ceiling

and you take a picture for Instagram basically or someone's made a big papia mashet axe and it looks like you're swinging it and, you know, that sort of thing. Everyone's, they've made like a big ice cream cone and you hold it like you've got a big ice cream. And it's always shit. This is like one of your fever dreams.

Every town has this. There's a museum of erotica and a museum of a museum of the bazaar and the strange. And if you're in America, you'll have one that's just like a museum of crime and you'll have a museum of skulls and stuff. They'll have a massive chair outside. Yes, a big chair. That's bigger than a chair should be. And they're always shit, but they're always like, oh, somewhere to take the kids, isn't it?

By the way, my favourite comment on that photo of us is we've all got a pint in our hand. is someone who commented, Marcus holding that pint is stolen valour. Good stuff. He doesn't drink. Yeah, good stuff. I'm excited for the old My Physiart launch party and the World Cup watchalong and the summer of Gemini.

I mean, I think we mentioned it the other day, but I think the weather warming up makes a massive difference. When you've got a kid, it makes a massive difference. I'm going to get instant sunburn. Yeah, but it's just, you're slipsapsop, sloping all the time. Yeah, but it's better than being stuck in the house with it's pissing down. It is better than being stuck.

It's just, your kid just goes feral. You don't have to go soft play. Do you know what I mean? You don't have to go thinking like... Two hours of like it being too cold or wet to go outside with a toddler. Within two hours, every single thing you own is on the floor. Yeah, completely agree. It's barbaric.

You can't do it. So I think a little sojourn up to North London for the World Cup watch for long at 40 foot brewery. Little chat between us about the football. Game kicks off at night. will be sheets to the wind by nine. I mean, good God. Isn't it open from five? I mean, that seems...

Well, our overlords have given us extra licensing hours for the World Cup, haven't they? Ah, I see. Yeah, so that's good. Thanks, Kea. Yeah, if he's still in city, by then. He's got a... I'll have two tiers in my eyes

through all of the alcohol. He's got an inquiry pending there, hasn't he? He's got... It's just every week. Can he just... Can he not just do a Donald Trump and go, no, I'm busy. Yeah.

What I like about it is, everyone brings them in for these inquiries. I'm absolutely astonished that myself, that I was lied to so much. Oh, fuck off. And then, and then I, so when I was home a little while ago with my dad, my dad goes around, he does CNN, Euro News, and then... What's your news?

Euro News, I think it's... He might be born by the French company. Basically, it's just like a German bloc, speak about five languages, doing a round robin with the ex-prime minister of Finland. Oh, that sounds amazing. And it'll just be all that, really. And they'll just be talking about

this state of the customs union and stuff. So he'll watch out for a bit. Then he'll go straight on the GB News and watch that little fucking, that young twirp do chat about rape gangs. Who's on that? Who presents who presents GB News these days? There's, I mean, I think one of the,

a lot of the heavy hitters have sort of gone. It's the, Farage's still got his show. The other, the Tory who left, who's a fucking twirp. Oh, Reese Mogg?

No, the Northern bloke who's like, Oh, Lee Anderson? Lee Anderson. Yeah, 30P Lee. I think, I think they were talking about the rest of those politics, Alan Rushbridge,

headed a, not an inquiry, but basically they basically watched Jimmy News for the whole day or the whole week or whatever, and they got three or four different sort of, journalists or

you know thinkers to kind of basically rate how how right wing how reform specific

all of the output on GB News was because it's a it's basically reform TV isn't it yeah and and and

and they basically found that like it's just a it's just a political yeah it's blatantly in breach of offcom regulations and and offcom

I don't know I don't know what they're I don't know what they're doing I don't know why they think that they can't, you know, well, Pete, tell me a regulator in the UK society that's good. Yeah. Tell me a regular.

Well, they're a good regulator. Yeah. Off what? No. Off-com? No. Can I think of any others? No.

They need a disband off-com because they're just not fit for business. Fit for purpose. Offcom I sort of do a, they had to get six music. I had to put another channel down. Not six music chat, I'm afraid. Six music channel, put another channel down on the BBC Sounds app. right and they had to get clearance from I think either the BBC Charter people or offcom and he're like hang on this is this a digital channel basically another radio

station it's just it's just not fit the purposes yeah and I think that's the difference between that the GB news people just don't give a shit they'll just be like okay we'll challenge they're just challenged them and offcom are to completely toothless and the very idea that a serving MP from a political party can have just do a TV yeah it's bonkers it's absolutely bananas it's totally against the offcom's own regulations. So I don't know what I'm not doing anything about it. It's crazy.

But this guy, what I like about this, so I'm watching this fucking twirp, young guy, I think he's the son of somebody. He's the one who took Darren Grimes as chore, I think. Right. Grimes, he thought he was going to. It's not his Tom Harwood guy, is it? It's a Tom Howard young guy.

He's a footballer. Tom Harwood? I can't right. He's a young guy anyway, and he's on every night. And he's a little twirp. and the way they sort of set this up is, right? They'll sort of go, you know, Donald Trump gets, you know, somebody, some idiot with a fucking gun tries to get in the, in the, in the, in the, in the,

it was the, it was the, press, press, wasn't it? Yeah, yeah. Press ball. And, you know, like it or not, I mean, it, for me, a most serious attempt on the presence life, one might suggest. Anyway, so he basically goes, it's just, it's just basically, like, Having a crack at doing what Fox News is, you know, the rhetoric on the left means that this is why this sort of thing is happening. And it's just, you know, it's just fucking bollocks, anyway.

And they'll get just some, they'll find a woman on TikTok, like a young lass on TikTok with colored air going, oh, we should shot Donald Trump. And he's just like, it's the proof of the rhetoric. It's rhetoric on, rhetoric. Just say rhetoric. Rhetoric. Thank you. The rhetoric on the left is just, is beyond the point. pill and it's like, it's just so fucking

asshole on TikTok. How did G.B. News like square the Trump, Trump things. So they still, so you know, Trump has obviously gone completely off the reservation. Do GB News still stick with him? Well, they're still Faragey, aren't they? They're still, faragey, aren't they? They're still, kind of... I think they're kind of... Even Farage has come up with some stuff where he's like, I need to distance myself from this.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, yeah, he's toxic, obviously, Trump's toxic. But yeah, they, basically with the Trump stuff, they they went down the path of the left are toxic people who are aggressive online. and that this is why people are shooting people. Again, not really a new story we need to sort of be worrying about,

save for the trip that, you know, King Charles is. But speaking of that, though, that's really interesting because because essentially the Trump administration are just so petty and weird, and they're just deeply, deeply weird, right? And so they have this grievance culture where there's no policies, there's no politics as we understand it, it's all just like drinking liberal tears

and all that kind of stuff but more recently it's just been about really trying to execute whatever latest madness Donald Trump decides is happening, right? That's basically all it is right so the only qualification you need to be a part of that set up now is just like loyalty to Trump's mad like kind of whims right

and the really interesting thing is over the last few days because Stama and Britain more broadly have refused to be involved in Iran right The Trump administration let out some kind of info. We're basically briefing that, well, in that case, then, because of this, the US is now going to change their policy on the Falklands.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. But he's an 80s guy, though, isn't he? Yeah, but he's an 80s guy. But the thing is, right, that is absolutely catastrophic for Farage, isn't it? Because Farage's whole identity is essentially, basically the 80s, at low-tax, and Britain is sovereign over the Falklands. And he's actually come out today, he said,

well, King Charles needs to address this with Donald Trump. It's like, he doesn't know where to turn. He's really caught in the middle, isn't it? Yeah. A lot of Jimmy News stuff is just like, you won't be hearing about this in the not, in the usual news. It's like literally one 14-year-old migrant, raped a school, a schoolmate, and it's like, right, and didn't see a custodial sentence because

he's 14. And it's like just, and it's just all kind of like, yeah, you're not going to see that because it's an isolated incident that happened. So the reason why you're talking about it is because he was a migrant. And so it's like, you're not going to hear about this on the news. Well, you do hear about the news. You do hear about this stuff quite a lot. But you're not going to lead with it because Because people have actual news to talk about in the grand scheme of things, if that makes sense. Obviously a horrible crime. But, you know, the price of petrol is through the roof, we could be dragged into a million different skirmishes in the Middle East if this sort of thing continues. So, you know, priorities have to be, you know, weighted in certain ways in a news environment.

But because G.B. News is just, you know, annoying old men. that's kind of like what they lead with and it's really funny that they sort of talk like you want me hearing about this in the news in the real news and it's like yeah yeah because you're not the news you're bad at this you're actually quite poor at this

have you met any GB News presented because I've met two of them have you right now no I think it was who's the long man Jacob Breast mark no the long stand used to be a stand up and he went

GB News didn't he the old long fellow. Lee Hurst? No, long, glasses, curly hair, very intense. Oh, yeah, that guy. He was like a poor man's Louis Theroux.

He was a poor man. He was going to be through. I've met him as well. Mark Dauld. I've met him as well. He's an odd bloat. He was, he was interested because I interviewed him a few times on absolute.

He's just doing the, you know, Edinburgh. Is it Mark Doulogh? Is that his name? Mark Dolan, yeah. It seemed like a quite really nice block. And he would go out of his way to sort of like, give us a text or something. And he's gone mental.

It just, I don't know how you sort of... I found him to be, but I found him to be quite... He's odd. Yeah, quite horrible. He was in the same office as me when I was at Talk Sport. He was always on Virgin or Talk Radio or something like that.

And he, I found him to be a little bit odd. I found he's like conduct. Oh, he's definitely mad, definitely mad. Right, okay. I forgot I'd met him. I've met him as well. I've met... I do for Jimmy.

News. I've met Michelle Dubry. Right, okay. Yes. Okay. Who's the northern girl from The Apprentice who isn't Katie Hopkins. And she was a character. I can't say too much because she's in a relationship with someone else I know who I do like. We could definitely be,

we could definitely be easy to Google. We could definitely be we could definitely go on Jimmy News. I've also met Martin Dordney. He's a fucking proper weirdo. Dordney's the guy who I used to edit Loaded magazine. And he's gone proper like stop the boats mad.

And he was the guy who saluted the Trump motorcade. Of course, yes, yeah. Yeah. What I like, I mean, he's like one of those, what I like about it, he's kind of like, he's kind of like laddie kind of like laddie kind of, um, magazine and stuff. And now he's kind of,

and now he's just sort of like gone full men's rights. Yeah, because he tried to go, he tried to go like, I want to be an MP. But everyone was like, well, you're fucking mentor. not voting for you. He got 300 votes or something and that was it. And then he just shacked up with Lawrence Fox. In 2007, he organized a straight Pride March.

Nice. He was doing the Manosphere stuff in 2007. Yeah. He was, you know, right with him. That is one of the gayest things you can do. Yeah. It is. I mean, I mean, tell us you're gay without saying you're gay.

Just be gay. It's fine to be gay. It's absolutely fine. So I think they're a bit of a motley crew. I think if we turn tail, We could get the good right-wing money. I think we could definitely do it. I don't think the researchers are good enough to sort of know that we're not right-wing.

I don't think it's enough thing. Also, you're easily done. You just say, oh yeah, I'll change my mind. Yeah, change my mind. And I've got a following, so give me a show. And they say, yeah. I saw it an unattended dingy next to the white-cress of Dover. Can I just say something?

I have actually seen that years ago. I told you this. I'm sure I did. I was with a mate of mine, Razor. Yeah. He's a police officer now. Don't get him near the dingy He wasn't there

Yeah exactly He wasn't then And we We were having a smoke on the old The old devil's lettuce You know Whoa He could lose his license

He wasn't a police officer then And we were partaking Some of the herbaceous clippings And walking along the beach At Leon Solan It must have been about 2 a.m maybe It was an amazing summer

Because that was the summer of the big whale washed up on Little Sout as well, which is massive news. Of course, yes, yeah. I told you about that. And we saw, honestly, we saw a dingy wash up on the beach. Yeah. With probably six people in it. Yeah.

Nice. Of Middle Eastern appearance. Yeah. And they got up off the dingy, let it down. It was like an inflatable thing, folded it up, stuck it on one of their arms and they just walked off. And at the time, but the thing is, first of all, I wouldn't have reported anyway, because it's not really, I'm not, it's not what I'm like.

But, but secondly, at the time, it wasn't a common, I mean, it was more just confusion. It wasn't like, oh my God, that's, that's what it is. I don't know what it was, even to this day, but it wasn't part of the common discourse then anyway. Just some lads going fishing. They weren't going fishing, but they had no fishing gear.

Did you see that? My dad was also watching, of course he was, watching that documentary about the, about the, um, that lawyer, or the set of lawyers who were trying, solicitors who are trying to who are getting immigrants to pretend that they're gay

for their hearings persecuted in their own on lands and stuff and it's just it's really funny that like even in these sort of like meetings with with like people who are

applying for immigration they'll have these meetings and stuff and it'll be on a secret camera with the BBC and they'll sort of go well I mean you could pretend that you're you're gay and he goes and they'll even in the middle of like you know they're desperate

and they're desperate and they want you know they want to give their case a best chance and sort of go right fuck it let's roll his thighs but they do sort of go but I'm not gay and what am I going to need to do but I'm not gay like it's just so like they don't sort of go

all right fine right okay I think I can get me head around this situation every one of them to a man has this kind of like male toxicity that goes I'm not though they have to voice it they have to make it flesh

you're an open borders guy aren't you you're like no one is illegal no no back everywhere up borders open trousers everything everything's would you just say because obviously I can hear here Peter in your in your in your

dialogue here you're very critical of current government policy out of interest what would you do What would I do? I'd probably I probably wouldn't I'd probably basically

come up with some kind of PR line to kind of explain to people that the amount of people coming up the boats compared to people out to stay in their visas is negligible

But you'd probably lead for something like Britain's a shito anyway, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, that is well surprisingly it going out straight away. As I drove past the Basilden sign somebody, this is basically this massive

Hollywood-style basilden sign that's... Oh, right there. Yeah, I mean, it's preposterous. But, because it's Basilden. Someone's put, it looks like they've used, like, cement bags, like empty cement bags. And they've made a big, they've made a big England flag

in front of the Basildon sign, and it looks like shit. I hope it blows away. But, yeah, coming into town, got to drive past that every time or what, but go past Basildon. So maybe I won't take the arterial road. What does it say? It's just a bit of it.

big England flag they've made it. It's like bigger than, it's bigger than a house. It's huge. I don't know how they've done it. But it looks like they've used old cement bags. It's not impressive. It looks bad. You would, you would, I mean, you would basically be of the opinion that since Fred Dibner died it's gone to shit this country. Yeah, exactly.

Because a lot of people say it's David Bury dying as baby's gone to shit, right? Because David Bury passed away. Was it like around the time of Brexit? It was like a few months before Brexit, wasn't it? And then there's people like, that's when the country went to shit. But then... It's probably not a bad start point. I'd go further back and say Rod Hull.

Fred Dibner was 2004. Rod Hull was probably 98. 99. March 99. Very good. So you think you can trace it back to that? Yeah, I think so. I think we can. I just googled Rod Hull.

And I'm just looking at this Desert Island Discs. Oh, I'd quite like I hear that. I might listen to that. He's gone for Mark Lester's Who Will Buy from the celebrated 1960s film Oliver, which is a fucking great movie, by the way. That is probably the worst song in it, but fair enough. He's gone Minnie Ripperton loving you.

Nice. Love it. And then he's got a lot of classical stuff in there. And he's also gone for the recording of the song of a Skylark. That's nice. That's nice. But is that technically music? Is that allowed? It is allowed.

You're allowed at any recording. Oh, so I could like say, I'll do the scream of my mother. You could do that. Yeah, if you had a recording of it. Yeah, you could do that. You'd have to play that on the radio. You also get the complete works of Shakespeare, the Bible,

and I think you get one luxury item. That's proper old school, can we not update that? It's probably Harry Potter now, wouldn't it? What's your, not these days, mate. BBC, you're mad? I don't know. Are you, who want you taking as your luxury item

onto the desert island? Oh, luxury item. I don't know, I think I, I don't think it can facilitate your escape. It's not allowed to do it. that? Can I have a petrol, can my petrol chainsaw? Yeah, I think you can, yeah. Make my modifications to the, to the desert island. A terrifying choice, but, uh, get me coconuts down. Yeah, someone said on the photo of you and I the other day, someone said, why is Pete dressed like Ed Gein? So I'm not sure you

want to change, yeah, there's a, there's a, I don't know what I was, I don't know what I was wearing there. I don't even recognise those trousers. I think I was wearing, I was wearing, I was wearing trousers that I don't think I own. I think people do, because you're known as quite a snappy dresser. I think people do sometimes. You got to catch me on the right day. Yeah, sometimes people do not really fully appreciate the fact that you can occasionally get it very, very wrong.

If I'm driving in, all bets are wrong. If I'm driving in like that, I'm doing, I go from yard work to car to, to in. I think my, I think my Desert Island disc luxury item would probably be a bed. Right. I feel like if I can, one thing parenting's taught me is to. that if I can get a good few hours, Kip, I'm okay. Right, yeah, okay. But you could fashion one out of, I don't know.

You're talking to me, yeah, you're talking to me? I reckon you could weave something together with some, with some brush. I reckon just constant, constant access to MDMA, just off me nut for the whole thing. Yeah, I wonder if you can, I wonder if you can, I wonder. Drinking sea water and wanking, just, just the whole thing, just the whole thing. Forever. This horrible man. And everyone would leave me alone.

Like, there's that wanking man. It'd be like the Solomon Islands where those, feathers fellas just do not want to be bothered. It's North Sentinel Island, isn't it? North Sentinel Islands, that's the one. By the way, Javier Greenwood from The Observer, who used to work for Tortoise, which has now become the Observer,

has done a brilliant podcast episode on North Centland Island. It's really interesting. Because you know that a guy, a YouTuber tried to go there recently. Was he the Christian block who got killed? This is more recent to that. Yeah, yeah.

There's a guy he went there and he got onto the beach. It's illegal, by the way. I think he spent a bit of time in jail in India for doing it. And he left a can of dark coke on the beach. But I think they've, they throughout history, they've had contact. But it's only because that fucking, was it Belgian? Was it Belgian? I can't remember.

Some wrong and ended up there and started fucking rip. and killing people and just doing terrible stuff. There was a guy back in the day who took a load of kids. Right. And they all got sick. And I think he ended up taking them back to the island. Yeah. But anyway, look, Jamie Greenwood's podcast episode does cover that.

It's really good. Yeah. It's well worth looking up. It's an incredible story and how like over time they've actually had people who've left the island. and established communities in other islands and there are blocks who have been, there's one block in particular who was going around with, I think, a Dutch explorer

and he went back to the island with this bloc who used to live on the island and they did not recognise him, they did not understand him, and this guy is the only bloc who can speak North Sentinelese or whatever the language is, but very specific dialect on that particular island. It's absolutely fascinating,

but I hope they enjoyed their diet cork. This episode was about the, I don't think they got it. The episode is about in some ways the difference between proper academic, like, what's the words you'd use for it, kind of like anthropology, I suppose. Yeah. And then like just chancer YouTube content types. Because he also, Zavio, who I know a little bit, he actually interviewed on it a language specialist. An academic who was an expert in Indian languages. And she is desperate to find out what language they speak.

Yeah. But she's never been able to. And she sounded quite pissed off at this guy just fucking turned up there. But he went under the cloak of darkness on like a fucking dingy in the middle of the night. He's lucky to be alive, really. The North Centralese version of Ewan Slashar. It's literally no one's gone on here.

He's left for Diet Coke. He's gone on here. But this guy ended up, he did pay a price for it, because I think he ended up spending time in jail with a load of Burmese poachers. Right, okay. I can't imagine it. I can't imagine it's very pleasant. But, I mean, if you're going to do it, you know, if you're going to do it, you've got...

It's a fascinating place. It's a really good episode. It's fascinating. And I'm fairly certain, aren't they all sort of, their numbers are dwindling? And you just sort of think, well, what's the responsible thing to do? I don't think there was huge concern for them around the time of the boxing day tsunami in 2004. Right, yeah. And that's when the last time the Indian government reached out.

Yeah. And they got a pinged with a load of. arrows and they were like all right fine they're fine then but but what's also fascinating about it is there's another island near there which which name escapes me but they've just voted

to agree to have a big development built on the island I think it might be a casino like a hotel casino something like that and so then everyone's now concerned conservationists and environmentalists are really concerned that that's going to have a really bad knock on effect it invariably turns to alcoholism

doesn't it really that's usually how it all But that's not on North Central. That's just an iron near there. That's not, it's not actually there. It's not actually that. It's, yeah, absolutely fascinating. You're right. It's kind of like, what, do we give them the fruits of, you know,

centuries of medical treatment to help? I reckon just leave them alone. Just leave me a diet of cork. Give them a diet of cork break for crying out loud. What must they think of that? I don't think it. If you find a canister, because they've had access to, like, you know,

got access to metals and stuff. They've been given metals and stuff before. But yeah, if you find a can of that, you like that's probably some kind of weapon. You probably look like a little missile, wouldn't it? There's 124 uncontacted groups in Brazil alone still, apparently. Love that. So a lot of people knocking about.

They live in a great life, aren't they? That was one of those, that was one of the percentages of the blocs coming over and declaring that they were gay in that documentary. It said something two percent of, persecuted gay men coming over were from Brazil and I was like and my dad was like you'd think it'd be higher in Brazil and I was like well not really because like there's loads of gay people of Brazil yeah so it's harder I imagine it's harder to prove that you've been persecuted I think of I think of

I think of Copacabana Beach as being quite a gay place I don't know if it is on that yeah yeah I'm thinking man in speeders that's classic yeah that's classic gay what does the guy who reviews packet all over the world think need to ask him he's one of the country's best working journalists. Maybe he should go to the North Sentinel Island. Would you agree with that? And give him some packet. I think look, I think he's the new, look everything gets distilled down to the shittest

version of whatever it is. He's the new Antibaldin. He just is the new Ante-Bardin. I agree. I strong agree with that. He's just doing it for the love of it. It's probably not even being paid. He quite simply loves the street and respects the street. My mate who went to South America for a long old time, he told me at like at the time that the cocaine

in those countries, literally like pure cocaine it was like a pound a gram now would that make you because I have not done it for a long long long long time and I have actually it's constipation

since I had the constipation well you only did like four poos in the whole of 2010 completely cleaned me out I remember staying with you in South Africa in 2010 for over a week and you didn't have a single poo

yeah yeah and I've got me I've got people I know who are still at it every now and again at our age and I'm like Oh, come on now. Come on now.

Yeah, I know one or two. I know one or two. But do you think, do you think that it's, if you're not, if you're not like an addict and you're just doing the odds, I've got less than I'm just, I literally cannot handle handle hangover. But like, is it, is it as dangerous as we thought it was? I don't know. Like, is it better now?

Is it worse now? Is it worse now because you could get hit with fentanyl? Is it good to take pure stuff? Would it be too strong? Ask the packet guy. That's the packet guy. Is it strong? Are you worried about your heart exploding constantly?

Absolutely constantly. There's that guy who's constantly rolling into back in and out of addiction. No-N-N-N-Aw's. No-N-N-A-N-N-A-N-W. Oh, no-Cola. No-Cola. No-more cocaine, Shane. No-more cocaine, Shane.

He has done some more cocaine, as addicts generally do. And he, and I forget what my point was with that. one but watching watching that like if you are going into something that you're not done for a little while it must be quite hard to sort of like just how the majority of heroin overdoses happen you know yeah the majority of heroin overdoses come from people who've been into rehab then relapsed and they've got very poor recollection of the size of dose they need yeah yeah and their

body can't take it but you know weird enough I did see a graph and the economist but not that long ago talking about how contrary of popular belief, the purity of cocaine is actually getting far better than it used to be. Right. People think it's the opposite, but apparently it's not. There's probably less policing of the parts, I imagine. There's just not enough funding to do it. There was a, you don't think that there's apparently quite a lot of like young lasses

who have kids who basically meet up. And I've seen a couple of these groups, actually, and they are fucking wired. They meet up either with their kids or they, you know, their little baby. running around, not running around, little babies in their push chairs, and they'll just go to like, you know, two-tree island and just fucking do beak all day. What's two-tree island?

It's like, it's basically a little patch of mud where people go dogging and fly what the hell? Fixed wing, mini-en-li-a-li-air. It's in Leonezsche. No one knows why you move there. It's basically where people do do dogging and also they fly those little aeroplanes and they've got

adders. They've got adders over there. Is this where they said they were going to, Boris Johnson was going to put that airport? Oh, maybe. Didn't he say he was going to put it in Kent though? I thought he said he was going to be in South End. Right, in the estuary?

Yeah, I don't know. Well, there's already an airport in South End. Canvey. Put it in Canvey. Yeah, just extend that one. It sounds like it would be really nice. Is it really nice? Two, Tri-Alands are all right for you. It's good for a dog walk. Now, you can watch the little buzzy planes take off and land. There's a little

sort of marina where you can take your jet skis and stuff. Apparently, it's got a really bad problem with Averset egg stealing. What's that? People stealing. There's a lot of like, it's a bird reserve. Yeah, that's sad. With the old blocks with long lenses are always paying down there.

Or maybe their dog is. But don't take drugs. I'm always down there. I'm always done there. But you see, like a gaggle of young lasses with their kids and they're just fucking yammering. Yammering each other, they're walking around.

Right. Fascinating. Fascinating lifestyle. Sounds like it. On that bombshell, Peter, we should probably get out of you. Ladies, I haven't pooed in weeks. Can you help? Can you have the brother out?

Right. We'll be back on Thursday. Yeah, yeah. You never know what day is. Look after you. I never know what days. Look after sales. And we'll see you very soon. Yeah, if anything we've talked about is

as kind of struck a chord, drop us a line. We'd love to hear from you. Are you off your own chisel at 10, 10 a.m. on a Monday? Let us know. I'm not. I'm in the studio at that time, normally. I'm off my head on Speller or Campbell, or Donsontharaja.

Massive Campbell. Yeah. All right, speak to that wrong. If you will. Bye-bye. The Luke and Pete show is a stack production and part of the ACAST creator network.