The Luke and Pete Show - Mind that horse

Episode Date: September 30, 2021

Just how much time did Pete spend on that Jack Bauer chat forum back in the day? The guys attempt to get to grips with it and find out just how deep the rabbit hole goes...Elsewhere, there's an update from the UK swingers scene, the boys learn about the perils of a vaping convention, and discuss the relative acting merits of Keanu Reeves.Oh, and today's show also contains the following - baths, horse shit, the imperial measurement system and The One Show. Actually those first three subjects sound like they could all be features on The One Show, don't they?Talk to us, we could be friends but you playin': [e-mail]   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Baby, baby It's Thursday, it's the Luke P.H.O.P. Donaldson with you If you're listening to us in the bath Do not drown It's the last thing we want for crying out loud Don't have your foot a bit slippy with shower gel And slip on the floor

and crack your head. We don't want all that on our consciences either. What do you do in the bath? You don't want to know, mate. I do want to know. You don't want to know. I don't really have baths.

No. Well, moved in the house. The man who owned the house before us was a photographer and he used to spend a lot of time travelling Europe

taking photos presumably and he used to stay in some pretty nice travelling Europe taking photos presumably and he used to stay in some pretty nice hotels apparently and he put a telly in the bath. Oh, I've seen, you showed me a picture

of that, yeah. So like, I can watch only terrestrial television because it doesn't have a dongle or anything or an HDMI input. So I watch a lot

of the World Cup in there. Sorry, the Euros in there. So that, is it annoying on one level that it's only terrestrial? A little bit because I have a little

place dish or something in the wall. That's problematic. That's problematic. That's dangerous. I mean, if I was to have a bath, say when I played football and I used to have a little bath afterwards,

I would take the laptop in there and watch something on TV. Yeah, that's fair. Yeah, yeah. I just find that I have baths like as hot as like a geyser, as hot as like I can possibly

stand it and then after the bath which lasts about five minutes because I'm too hot I have to go and have a lie down

on the bed because I'm just too hot it was too much of an experience for me yeah it's crazy

why do I do that to myself yeah I know what you mean I do find myself regularly feeling up with a bit more hot water

the thing with me is I'm too big for a bath. Too big for a bath. The man who can't be bathed. Yeah, that's going to be the biopic of my life. But I can't have the whole length of my body in the bath at one time. Right, okay. So it's legs out or body out, torso out.

I mean, okay. So you can't be submerged in a bath. That's really sad. Just get a deep bath. Get a big, deep bath. It's not as. I mean, okay. So you can't be submerged in a bath. That's really sad. Just get a deep bath. Get a big, deep bath. It's not as simple as that, mate. Get a big, deep L-shaped bath and you can curl up in the fetal position.

I'm not on that 24-4 and administer it money like you are, mate. I can't just fucking shell out for a big, deep bath. I love that you're obsessed with me being on a 24-4. It's just funny, isn't it? What do you mean? It's transcended podcasts now. It's just funny.

Well, it is funny, but it's only funny because you never watched 24. If you were a disciple of Bauer, you would understand it. But it's so you, isn't it? Why? Because it's just such a Pete Donaldson TV show to choose to be a forum member on.

No, it was a mass market Fox sensation. What did you like about it then? It was violent. It was sexy. What was sexy about it then? It was violent. It was sexy. What was sexy about it? The ladies. The women were all very good looking, weren't they? Right.

And the men were all very good looking at it. Yeah. It was good. All right. And also, you would get a situation where people would have no prior kind of computer analyst knowledge at all. They'd work in shoe shops and just have random jobs. But because it was useful to the plot,

they would suddenly start working at the counterintelligence. Is it counterintelligence? Yeah, counterintelligence. CTU is the name of the CIA-style place. Yeah, they would suddenly start working as hardcore computer analysts, even though they had literally no grounding in it at all.

But because they were a familiar face, they just put them in the screen. Put them in the situation. And that gave you a bit of hope that you

could do something Give me a bit of hope that you didn't need any prior computer knowledge, but you could just go and get an analyst job who would pay ridiculous

amounts of money. Yeah. Did you ever watch It's not about the money though, it's stopping terrorism. Exactly. It's about the, it's computer knowledge but you could just go and get an analyst job who would pay ridiculous amounts of money yeah did you ever watch it's not about the money though stop them terrorism it's about the it's a vocation

yeah isn't it it's about trying to assassinate the president by smearing something on your hand and putting it on his hand and it being a

nerve agent that touched his hands and then he collapses that's killing the president oh no I've killed him but did you did you did you feel like

your role on the 24 forum did you and the guys on the forum the gang yeah the lads yeah did they ever think

like what we need to do is we need to prevent terrorism on other forums what do you mean just ape to like oh yeah

because we could be our own little live imitating art yeah okay like find bad actors on other forums back in the day there weren't that many

bad actors people were being rotten what I'm saying is every terrorist has now been groomed and moulded and encouraged on an internet forum

that is a let down and that is a failure of you and your lot on your 24 forum who are absolutely perfectly positioned with everything you've learned so we could have

prevented like internet racism and stuff like that all this stuff that we hear about So we could have prevented like internet racism and stuff like that. All this stuff that we hear about now, we could have prevented it because of the skills and tools we've learned and crafted over the years

on the 24th of August. I just think you're a chosen few and with great power comes great responsibility. And you wasted that opportunity just by talking about the TV show when you could have seen what was going to come

on the internet. A shit show was on its way. There was a storm of shit on its way. Yeah. There was a storm of shit on the way, a reckoning, a fucking rapture, and you slept on the job. Yeah. Sorry, everyone.

It's my fault. I didn't. Were you an administrator of the forum? No, I wasn't an administrator. Can you imagine me ever administrating anything? Like, sort of saying, no, we need to get rid of this. I've tried to imagine it a few times.

I think it would be nice, but it's never quite happened. Okay, well of saying, no, we need to get rid of this. I've tried to imagine it a few times. I think it would be nice. It's never quite happened. Okay, well, look, I'm interested in it. This show, a lot of the time, is about things that you say that I'm interested in. And the things you've put

on the running order for today's show are point break and horse shit. Yeah. So I'm just trying to stall ahead of talking about those, really. Right, okay. What's the point break one all about?

Point break. After K-Pax, slid right into watching a bit of point break. On the recent show, you talked about K-Pax. Now it's point break. Talk to me. Which, inexplicably, there was a remake of point break where I had no idea about. There was no need for it, was there? There was certainly no need for it.

I completely agree. Yeah, so this was actually cribbed from the Football Ramble. We didn't actually get to it today, or last week rather, as we're recording it. Troy Deeney said about Ronaldo, he said, if I saw Ronaldo eating horse shit before a match, I'd eat it too. Right. The outspoken, frequently outspoken Troy Deeney was talking about that. And I was like, could you eat horse shit?

Is it the same as dog shit? And I was like, could you eat horse shit? Is it the same as dog shit? Look, the Environmental Protection Agency excluded horse manure from solid waste regulation because it contains neither significant amounts of hazardous materials nor exhibits hazardous characteristics. Horses do not carry any of the 120 viruses, spices, and pathogens that create risk for humans from carnivore and omnivore species.

The pathogens that do exist in horse leavings require ingestion to create a health risk, typically abdominal discomfort. But you're thinking, all right, well, that's, you know, horse manure. It's off the it's off the table for food. Most of these pathogens have very short lifespans on the ground, though, meaning the risk of infection through ingestion is very limited. No record exists of horses transmitting any disease to humans. Luke Moore. That's mad. Let's have some horse shit.

That's absolutely mad. Let's have some horse shit for tea. I'm very surprised to hear that. Yeah. You would just assume because it's dirty, dirty bum bum. Yeah. It's disgusting. It is disgusting

you're just saying it's not going to make those blokes who have sex with them a little less a little more palatable I would say where's that come from because that's one of the reasons

why you don't want to have sex with an animal because it's poo on your willy but one of the reasons that's not the reason that's what I presumed it was all about

that's not the reason but what I'm saying is that I reckon we should only no one said I'd love to have sex with a horse, but I might get some poo on my willy. No one says that. We've been recording for a while, right?

We're in a block of two hours of recording here. But what I'm saying is... That's why we started the show so badly. That's what I'm trying to explain, right? You're getting confused. Right. Because you're getting confused between something that probably won't literally kill you and a good thing to confused. Right. Because you're getting confused between something that probably won't literally kill you.

Right. And a good thing to do. Yeah. Okay, right. It's like saying... It might be a good thing to do. We can't eat some... Oh, shit, though.

It's like saying most heavy punches to the face do not result in death. Yes. Right? Fine. Right. If that's the statistics, that's fine. Yeah. It doesn't mean you should actually go and seek out being punched in the face because you won't die.

Look, I don't think those statistics exist, can we be quite frank? What do you mean? I just don't think they particularly exist. Like, most punches to the face don't result in death. Yeah. Who's doing that study? Well, they do all sorts, don't they?

They do all sorts, don't they? There's a guy there who's doing a study about whether you can eat horse shit or not. Yeah. Mad, isn't it? I'll be honest I didn't that is surprising to hear

yeah it is very surprising if you stand in a in a horse poo you're fine you'll be fine I don't know about any other animals

that you'd see you know rabbit shit pigs and and beefy boys cows it's a great it's a great service to people

listening knowing that if they tread in horse shit because it's a great it's a great service to people listening knowing that if they tread in the horse shit because it's big yeah it can happen that you're not

really going to do any damage to yourself yeah no it's fine even if someone treads it and you can't lick it

and your dog licks it mind you dogs can eat anything can't they dogs can't eat everything yeah everything and anything

apart from weird things like onions. And chocolate. They can't eat onions and chocolate, yeah. Is grapes one? I want to say grapes might be one, yeah. It's very, very strange. But on Point Break, moving back to Point Break, have people really forgotten?

Because obviously Keanu Reeves is coming back for the new Matrix film. I don't think we need that. We don't need that, but it's nice to see that we've, for the people who like the Matrix, there's films that will, and maybe they can readdress the whole red pill, green pill stuff. Got a lot to answer for. Through no fault of their own.

Yeah, exactly. And yeah, I was watching Point Break and I was like, oh my God, like compared to Swayze, Keanu Reeves was and possibly isn't anymore. He was a terrible fucking actor I know he had a reputation for being

a terrible actor but I hadn't watched much of his stuff I don't think he is that good he's terrible I don't think he is that good

he's better now because he's he's still got the presence and he doesn't he's not as energetic in his acting anymore

but Jesus but older men who have got a lot of experience under their belt in acting, they don't seem to have to do much.

Yeah, because they've got their portfolio, people know who they are. Yeah, like Pacino said it, didn't he? He said most of what

really hard to get noticed as an actor. And now, I just walk into a room, raise an eyebrow and they say, give that man an Oscar. Because I guess

people just get seduced by the charisma and experience and the ruggedness of it and they're growing up with that character as well there are scenes in the Matrix

which admittedly he's 20 years old or whatever where Reeves is I would chewing the scenery it's not quite laughably bad

but it is bad there's a bit where do you remember in the scene quite early on in the Matrix where he gets he's in his office in his open plan office and he gets a package and it's a mobile phone, do you remember in the scene quite early on in The Matrix where he gets, he's in his office in his open plan office and he gets a package

and it's a mobile phone and as soon as he opens it it rings. Old Motorola. Yeah, it's a flip phone, it's cool. And he answers it and fucking, what's his name? Lon Cichabon says. He's talking to him. Weather! It was the noughties. Yeah, he says, do you want to go

to get some buffalo wings tonight? And Keanu says, I can't get away from work. And he says, well, do exactly what I say and you can get out of work at normal notice and you can have some

sweet buffalo wings with me later. Yeah. And he says, all right, I'll do it. I don't remember enough of the Matrix to say which bits of those are real. Well, anyway,

and the agents have come for him and Fishburne, whose fucking name is really annoying me, Morpheus, guides him out of the office to get away from the agents. And the way he wants them to do it is he wants them to get out of the fucking high rise onto a scaffold.

It's about 50 stories up. Yes. And it's fucking frightening. But Keanu Reeves, at one point he just goes, I can't do this. This is insane. And it just sounds so bad. It sounds so bad it takes you out of it.

So I think he's always in his locker to be fairly poor. And what about his most recent outing was in Cyberpunk, wasn't it? Yes, he was. He was Johnny Silverhands or something. Did they have his chopper come out? What? All the choppers came out, didn't they, in Cyberpunk? Oh, yes, they did.

Yeah, no, I don't think Johnny English, Johnny Cyberhands, his woolly flopped out at any moment. It would have been funny if he did. Yeah. So I think there's a lot of actors who kind of get away with stuff. Did you ever hear the Morpheus rap

from Hannibal Buress on the Eric Andre show? Oh, it sounds brilliant. He was dressed one week as Morpheus Buress. Yeah. Big, long leather jacket, like Lawrence Fishburne. I haven't seen it. Hannibal Buress? Buress?

Hang on. There you go. Hannibal Buress? Morpheus. Dorpheus. Morpheus. Dorpheus. Go eat some warruses. Orphuses. Porruses. Morpheus. Morpheus Dorpheus Morpheus Go eat some

Worcesters Orifices Porridges Morpheus Morpheus Go get to the buffet In Worcesters Orphanage

Corpuses Worcesters sauce Go into your Orifices Red pill Blue pill Morpheus Worcesters

Seashells But I see Dorpheus Very good Very good. Very good. Morpheus, obvious. I love Hannibal Buress. He's brilliant.

Morrises. Worcestershire sausages. What a freestyle. What a freestyle. Pete, what do you think about the... So some people would say, possibly, that the Football Ramble has inspired a load of really shit

football content. Yeah. Would you agree with that? And created. No, but you know what I mean though? Yeah. Okay. Because it's been around so long.

Yes, yeah, yeah. And I feel... You see echoes. You feel like you've started some things that you wish you hadn't. Yeah. Yeah.

And that's a complicated thing because it's nothing to do with you but it happens. So with the red pill thing, do you think the makers of The Matrix? the makers of the Matrix because one of the

directors is a trans woman right the Wachowski sisters the trans woman they're both they're both trans women I wasn't aware

of that is it Wachowski Wachowski sisters yeah it was yeah I thought it was sisters today sisters

obvious obvious sisters but what do you think about the idea that this whole thing's been co-opted

and I wonder if that would have come into their thinking about why they're making it because for me I wouldn't want to have anything to do with that

oh what do you mean as in like the red pill thing the fucking what's it called the fucking incels dickheads you find them

with the YouTube videos and the fucking crying and all that so what they would be upset that they created something so horrific but you can only

lead it like it's not your fault and no one would ever blame you that they created something so horrific. But you can only lead it. Like, it's not your fault. No one would ever blame you. It's kind of even worse when there's that and then there's like kind of like visual kind of representations of like the Pepe the Frog and stuff. Is Pepe the Frog Pepe the Frog? Pepe the Frog.

It's a frog. It's definitely a frog. It's a frog, isn't it? Him and stuff. And I think that guy just created it because he liked the little a frog. It was a frog, wasn't it? Him and stuff. And I think that guy just created it because he liked the little cartoon frog. But that was co-opted in a really horrific way, really quickly.

The thing about the... The only thing I know about this new movie, Matrix Resurrections, which is coming out this year, is the poster. Right. The teaser poster. I've not seen the teaser poster.

And the teaser poster is a red pill and a blue pill. Right. And it says the choice is yours so they've really leaned into it they've really led into it oh do you think that there's some part of the marketing

that sort of says there's a lot of people talking about these red pills let's do the red pill thing maybe they just want to kind of set the record straight I don't fucking know maybe they'll redress

something that's not their fault anyway all I'm saying is it's got Neil Patrick Harris in it it's got Neil Patrick Harris in it give it a chance they've got rid of Lawrence Fishburne and they've got Neil Patrick Harris in it. It's got Neil Patrick Harris in it. Give it a chance. They've got rid of Lawrence Fishburne and added Neil Patrick Harris. You can still find them.

You can still find them. You can still find them. Let's have a break and consider, and maybe we'll take the blue pill in the break. Okay, yeah. Which is the worst one? I think the red one gives you the truth and makes you sort of aware that the- But the incels talk about black pills, don't they? Black pills?

Yeah. No, those red pill, blue pill, isn't it? Yeah, but they talk about black pills. Look, I'm telling you something about internet culture. This is a fucking great thing. Oh, God. I've never been able to teach you anything about it before. It's a great thing.

So anyway, let's have a break. Come back. Ta-ta. We'll do an email or two. And we've got a battery brown for you. And then we'll get the fuck out of here. All right, then. Get the fuck out of Dodge, baby.

Get the fuck out of here. Hey. It's a look at me it's the look at me picture hey it's we're in a world now where

we said last John Chalice what John Chalice Boise from Only Fools and Horses you love Only Fools and Horses I love Only Fools and Horses what You love Only Fools and Horses. I love Only Fools and Horses.

What a day for you. Marlene. I know when he said that. Well, are you going to be respectful about him when he's passed on? I'm going to have to be, aren't I? Yeah. Annoying, isn't it?

Big in Serbia, wasn't he? He's big in Serbia. He had Boise in Serbia. A very noble actor. Boise in Belgrade, it was called. Boise in Belgrade. That was his documentary. I forgot about that.

A national treasure. For those who were listening, who were international listeners, John Challis played Boise and Belgrade, it was called. Boise and Belgrade. That was his documentary. I forgot about that. A national treasure. For those who were listening, who were international listeners, John Chalice played Boise, a big character in Only Fools and Horses, which is Pete's favourite sitcom. Yeah. He passed away after a short illness.

David Jason is trending. Oh, it's about Boise. Good, good, good. You're worried about David Jason, aren't you? A little bit. I mean, to be fair, he said he loved stuff on the telly recently. He had that appearance had that very strange man

he had that appearance on the one show which was a shame let's go it went badly it went really bad yeah never mind

the perils of live TV the perils of any kind of promotional tour I would say when you're David Jason the best ever one show is Mel Brooks

isn't it what happened oh he's just confused he didn't know what the hell he's like you realise this is the most insane TV show I've ever seen is Mel Brooks isn't it? What happened? Oh he's just confused he didn't know what the hell He's like you realise this is the most

insane TV show I've ever seen It is though isn't it? I hadn't watched it I did the one one show one one show

with The one show show The one show I don't know how to say it Mark will hate me for that

but Mark he does the WrestleMania podcast he's involved in that and they basically just review the one show every night

and I'd never watched a full episode of the one show every night and I'd never watched a full episode of the one show fucking mental up and down and left and right and Jesus

it'll go from the history of the letter K yeah to people killed by the Nazis and then we'll end on something about

My Little Pony yeah very bizarre I don't know how they get away with it if I was a producer of that show, I'd just do the biggest

juxtaposition you can imagine. Massive pace change. I'd do Giles Brandreth doing organic gardening and then I would have Napalm Death to play us out. But Giles Brandreth

would be dancing around to Napalm Death. He'd have to. Yeah, he'd have to. If he wants his fee, he's doing it. But I think more subversive bands like Napalm Death,

they'd probably do it. I'll fucking do that. I'd go on The One Show. Wouldn't you love to see them on The One Show? Yeah, some of their songs are only a few seconds long. Yeah, exactly. Perfect. The Pioneer's a grindcore.

Of course I'm going to have them on The One Show. It's long overdue. Absolutely long overdue. Right, battery, quickly. Battery, quickly. Got a couple here. Yeah. Tom Beck.

Hello to you, Tom. He's sent in. Tom Beck. Hello to you, Tom. He sent in some jar battery. Jar! Like jar rule. Just J-A exclamation mark. Yeah. What do you reckon to that? I don't think it is a new player, you know.

I'm going to slide into the email box and type jar. I don't think I've seen a Jar battery before. The problem is a lot of them, there's a lot of chat about Jar rule in the email box. It's quite hard.

Jar, Jar, Jar. We're good. I think we're good. I think we are good. So Tom, you will remember Tom most recently we heard from him when he

talked about his grandfather who's now passed on, God rest him, searching for porn on WhatsApp. He's also mucked in with a couple of batteries. I'm going to give him a new player.

Yeah, no, fair. That's absolutely fine, Tom Beck. Well done, mate. It's what your granddad would have wanted, Tom. Yeah. Chris Arch, finally for now, Chris Arch has got in touch with a set of three Circles batteries. They sent us a picture as well, did our Chris Arch,

and I believe it's a new player. Great. Congratulations. Two from two. What a week. Well done. Congratulations to everyone and all who sailed in you. Chris Arch and I believe it's a new player great congratulations two from two what a week well done congratulations to everyone and all who sailed in you

please do send your battery brands in you can do it on Twitter at Luke and Pete show you can do it on email hello at Luke and Pete show dot com

that's the end of the battery section Pete let's hand over to my pal who's just charged up as they come to do an email I am ready to go redacted.

Here, fellas. Shit. Oh, no. It's not what I wanted. Why is it one of those? Why do they do that? Why? I mean, it's just...

Redacted. Anyone. It could be anyone. Don't say it again. I'll have to bleep that one as well. Okay. It's just Jeff. Jeff.

It's just Jeff. Long-time listener. First time emailer, although I've emailed the Ramble a few times if you want to cross cross pollinate that one. On the subject of

finding your parents' porn stash, let me bring this story arc to a seedy conclusion. Oh, we won't be stopping. You don't conclude our feature, Sunshine. We'll conclude it

once we've seen the filthiest. Yeah. When I was about 16, I attended the local college to study a useless law course. When I was there,, I attended the local college to study a useless law course. When I was there, I met a couple of lads who became quite good mates. One of the boys lived 30 seconds down the road from the college,

so obviously we spent every lunch break and free period playing FIFA and smoking things we shouldn't have been smoking. What, like... Kippers. Tea bags. Tea bags. And wood. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, you should remember.

Showing off. Jeff. Jeff. One afternoon, I reminded the guy whose house it was not to forget the assignment we needed to hand in when we went back. Very diligent of you, Max. Even when you're speeding on the needle,

bliss, blazed 420 out your head. Who wants a 24 smoking opium with Jack? Exactly. Not having a printer, I decided to put the assignment on a USB drive to then print later at college. Oh, I can see where this is going. He found an innocent-looking USB in the desk under the computer

and after putting it into the computer, we were confronted with a folder full of photos of what I can describe as his parents having a jolly old time at a swingers party. I always assumed you wouldn't be able to take pictures at a swingers party. Why do you need to take pictures? Stay, get in the moment, guys.

Download it. Download it now with your own eyes and ears. Put your computer, maybe you've got stuff in your eyes. I hope someone didn't get pulled in there, will he? Needless to say, I've never seen a person remove a USB from a computer faster in my life. I haven't spoken to my friend from college in many years, and I assume it's the same for him and his parents. Listen, let's just say his him and his parents. Listen,

let's just say his dad put his USB in his mum's computer and someone else's mum's. Someone else's mum's. Yeah. Viruses all over the place. Swingers are all around us,

I'm telling you. They are. I know a person who was a... They walk among us. That's what that podcast series is about. Oh, right.

They walk among us. It's about swingers. Well, they, I think a guy I used to work with, I think he was the product of a swinging party, I want to say. That sounds like a story you would tell to be popular.

Really? What, I was the product of a swinging party? It just seems a bit weird. I mean, in what capacity? What do you mean? How does he even know his dad is then? Well, exactly. I mean, I guess that's the issue.

And who told him that? Again, I don't that again I don't know I don't know I don't imagine for one second the majority of swingers that go on Superb in England

aren't wearing protection for example for example okay yeah look I don't know but redacted erm

no Jeff Jeff Jeff call him Jeff his mates call him Jeff I wouldn't care he's Jeff's mate.

Friend of a friend. You haven't seen the guy from college for years. Jesus. Jeff. Yeah, and we've only got a first name. Yeah. And we haven't said what part of England it is. Yeah, I think you're going to be safe.

If we tell that story, name or no name, that person whose mum and dad are getting down to Clowntown with other people. Clowntown? I don't know. No one calls it that. No. It's, you know, they'll know who they are.

Have you ever said to a potential sexual partner, do you want to get down to Clown Town? Clown Town. But it's just confusing. Right. Brown Town. Sex Town. Sex Town.

Population you and me, baby. This is the conversation. Do you want to get down to Clowntown? Do you want to have sex with me? Oh my goodness me. Oh dear, right. There was a story doing the rounds where I grew up. I wasn't actually there, but our friend and colleague JT was.

And he always maintains that they went back to a mate's house after the pub or whatever and someone found a DVD and put it on and it was a home video of the kid's dad shaving his own pubes on camera.

Why does that need to be committed to a DVD ROM? What's the angle? A DVD RAM? What's the angle? I don't know. I mean,

a lot of like rewritable DVDs are kind of, you the angle? A DVD-RAM. What's the angle? I don't know. I mean, a lot of like rewritable DVDs are kind of, you can't play them in most DVD players. If it's a data disc. It needs to be a multi-region,

doesn't it? It needs to have the catalogue that allows it to be played on a DVD disc. I'm just saying he's limiting his audience by putting on a DVD.

Maybe that's what he wanted. Exactly. For specialist audiences only. So when you get those guys like him, those British porn stars like Ben Dover and they're making DVDs

and they're basically printing them themselves and sending them out. Right. They have to have their own proper gear. Well, not necessarily, but I'm just,

I'm just questioning who wants to watch a man shave his own pubes? It's very niche. It's probably for him, isn't it? It's probably just for him. Is it? What, just to watch him watch it back own pubes? It's very niche, isn't it? It's probably for him, isn't it? Isn't it? Just to watch him watch it back.

Which is technique for next time. That way he's only got to do it once. Isn't it? Yeah, I don't know. I wasn't there. I just don't know. Fair news.

Shall we wrap up with a quick one before we chip off from Kevin? Yeah. Alright. Diametric system users Luke and Pete seeing as how

British Prime Minister Boris the Biker Johnson is that, isn't it? What's the biker? I don't know what that means. Okay. Has announced plans to reassess Britain's usage of the EU-mandated metric system

as part of new Brexit liberties. I, for one, wish to extend you a premature welcome to the imperial measurement system. Despite being born and raised in the United States, I have still yet to understand just how much a quart is, how many ounces are in a pound, and how many apostrophes is appropriate to put

between the foot and inches when measuring height. On behalf of the United States, Liberia, and Myanmar, I wish you the best of luck in exercising your newfound Brexit rights. Also, I'm sorry,

I only email him when I've smoked a lot of weed, so apologies for the shit quality. That's from Kevin. There he is, smoking all the things he shouldn't be smoking I remember

I was talking about this the other weekend I remember the metric system coming in in Hartlepool now the metric system I'm fairly certain

came in 79 were you waiting on Paul how can you remember it because it was fucking late in Hartlepool Brett's the sweet shop

I was buying quarters same I was buying quarters up to about 8 years old I was buying quarters up to cracking off for the 90s then suddenly I think I was buying quarters same I was buying quarters up to about 8 years old I was buying quarters up to cracking on for the 90s then suddenly

I think I was bang 100 grams they realised we could make them on money I think I was exactly the same we used to ask for a quarter of a sweet for a time a quarter of a sweet yeah how old do we sound

it's brilliant yeah it's quarter of midget gems quarter of a toast of tea cakes please yes in America I find it weird because they take it to the absolute extreme

right so like it's not just your pounds and your ounces which I can kind of get around please. Yes. In America, I find it weird because they take it to the absolute extreme. Right. So like, it's not just your pounds and your ounces, which I can kind of get around. It's the hundred pounds. It's the body weight in pounds. I can't get my head around.

I can't get my head around. If they do a recipe, it's in cups and quarts. Yes, quarts, yeah. If you do buy a drink, it's in ounces and gallons and stuff.

Yeah. It's silly, isn't it? It's just silly, isn't it? But we have a weird combination here because we have, we have, we say stones. Stones and gallons and stuff. Yeah. It's silly, isn't it? It's just silly, isn't it? But we have a weird combination here, because we have... Yes. We have, we say stones. Stones, feet and inches, yeah.

Feet and inches, but we also... And we have miles on the signs. Yes, okay, yeah. But then we do other shit. It's mad, isn't it? Like, we're a halfway house. But we never... Did we really lose it?

That's Britain all over, isn't it? Yeah. Oh, we kind of want some of it, and we want some of the best bits, and we don't have to fucking pay for it, and we also quite like America, even though they think isn't it? Yeah. Oh, we kind of want some of it. And we want some of the best bits. We don't have to fucking pay for it. And we also quite like America, even though they think we're pathetic. Yeah.

It's a special relationship. A one-way relationship. Like, the special relationships between the UK and the US is the UK calling up, saying, have we still got the special relationship? And the US going,

can we still say we've got the special relationship? Yeah. New number, who this? You know, pathetic. So I think Kevin, even though he is absolutely caned. On quarters. Yeah. Yeah. Well, when people used to buy weed, you know pathetic so I think Kevin even though he is absolutely caned on quarters yeah

yeah well when people used to buy weed it used to be in it quarters yeah yeah good Henry

good old get an Henry get an Henry what's that an eighth Henry the 8th you must know that no I don't know that

and a 10th for a 16th I'm not a weed guy you can talk about this because American people it's mostly decriminalising America that's legal now

it's fine there's nothing wrong with it there's legal now. It's fine. There's nothing wrong with it. There's nothing wrong with it. Smoke weed every day! We've got the CBD oil coming in. Surely at some point we'll have that THC thing. I had a meeting once with a guy who was telling me all about CBD

and how I should be getting involved. I was just so confused. I had some really expensive stuff because we got sent some free. And when we went to New York, we were sponsored by some CBD company. And I went to the office and a woman gave me a bottle of CBD.

Emily? I don't know. Somebody from Acast. No, somebody from Acast. Not our manager. Not our tour manager. She's got a good penalty on her, Emily. That's completely by the by.

She's a great sportsman. She's obviously brilliant at sports. But anyway, I got to give her some CBD. And then I ran out and then I got some more. And it was like really strong. And I was having weird dreams. Because apparently they separate out the psychoactive ingredient. Yes, the THC.

It doesn't have THC in it. But in America, you can have it with THC. In Japan, I'm fairly certain, we try to buy some vape juice from a friend. It doesn't have any nicotine in it. What's the point of that? It has nothing. What is the point of that?

Yeah. I'm sure I saw a couple of years ago there was a vaping convention at Birmingham NEC. Yeah, I had tickets for one. What do they do there? In London Arena, I think it was. What do they do there? I know a guy who used to work for a

big Barcelona fan, used to work in Los Angeles I believe, and he had one of those start-up little mum and pop, VIP, juice places, and he made money hand over fist at that thing. No, I get that, and I'm not trying to diminish it or say it's not legitimate. What I'm not I'm not trying I'm not trying to diminish it or not say it's not legitimate

what I'm saying is if you go all the way to a weekend long convention about vaping what do you actually do there I think it's a little bit like a beer festival you just buy different ones

that you've never had before you sample them it's like company to company kind of chat and also humorously the only place you're allowed to smoke is in these weird little

kind of like see-through cubes. So it's just fucking smoke. And also people do tricks. Oh, really? They do little vip tricks. Well, that's the thing, is it? Like fire poi or something? Yeah, like blowing circles.

It's like cigar tricks and stuff, isn't it? I've never seen that before. I might look that up. I'm going to look that up when we finish because we're about to finish

now we'll be back on Monday with more of this thank you very much for listening thank you very

much for your battery brands thank you very much for your emails as well it's been a bloody pleasure talking to you

we'll see you again soon Peter give people a final thought smoke weed every year there we go

see you next time ta ta people a final thought? Smoke weed every year? There we go. See you next time. Ta-ta. This was a Stack production and part of the Acast Creative Network.