The Luke and Pete Show - On fire and headed for a fatberg

Episode Date: March 29, 2021

On today’s episode, Luke and Pete are discussing their funeral wishes and mourning the loss of Maplin from the high street. It’s not all doom and gloom though, as the Suez Canal, garden centres and big bums are also on the agenda.Get in touch on Twitter, or send us an email at [e-mail]! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Luke and the Pete show. It is Monday the 29th of March. A dog has just decided to start barking as I started this show. Welcome friends, Romans, countrymen. How you doing Luke Moore? You alright? It's me mum's birthday today. Oh, happy birthday, Mummy Moore. Yeah, called her this morning, didn't I? Oh, what did you say? Happy birthday. Sang a song down the phone to her at an obnoxious volume.

She called me a stupid idiot. And I said, look out for a delivery today. Don't know what time it's coming. So she said, thanks very much for that. So my birthday present is on one of the nicest days of the spring so far. I've got to stay in all day. I said, yes. Have a great day.

Leave it in the bin. Leave it behind the bin like a normal person. That's what I would say. That's fine. She's all right. She's looking forward to the world slowly opening up again so she can see her family. I think we might go and visit her in the garden next weekend

because that's allowed now. That's allowed now. We're allowed six humanoid android mixes in a garden. You're allowed to fight to the death and you are allowed to eat one grandmother. I think that's the thing.

I think if you'd said to me five years ago, Pete, do you think a time would ever come where you would be actively looking forward to driving two hours to sit in a garden and chat to your parents? I would not have understood the question, to be frank. Yeah, no, it's different. It's interesting, isn't it? I am jonesing to drive or train it up to go and see my parents. I just need to, you know,

I'll just wait until they've had their jab and then try and get up there. But it's, well, their second job anyway. But yeah, it's interesting, isn't it? Like I've still not seen my niece and I really need to see her and meet her for the first time. There's so much of her life I've missed so far,

like six to nine months of it. I was about to say, she's 18 now, isn't she? I know, right? But yeah, so I, like six to nine months of it. I was about to say, she's 18 now, isn't she? I know, right? But yeah, so I'm looking forward to that. I went to the garden centre to buy some toys for them at the weekend. Yeah, you know, like garden centres, like, it's like, this isn't bad stand-up because it's not even funny, but like, you know, like in garden centres,

you see like little packets of seeds for like carrots and potatoes and stuff like that and chrysanthemums. Marrows. Very popular thing to grow. Or certainly that's what big garden centre would have you believe. Have you ever had a marrow? I've never had a marrow. No, this is the thing, right?

You see, it's a very British kind of thing to go to like a country fair and see the man who's grown the biggest marrow yeah but it's just this big stupid tasteless watermelon that comes from the fucking ground and he goes look how big this marrow is what are you gonna fucking do with it you've just soaked up all of the moisture not allowing any other things to grow in the area of this marrow and no one ever eats a fucking marrow what's a marrow you're only allowed one per umcode. I think you're right. I think it's sport growing and nothing more. As you probably won't remember, but as I regaled listeners with a while back, I grew that massive pumpkin, didn't I?

That's right, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it did dominate the entire garden. I mean, it didn't even grow in the bed. It grew about three feet outside the bed. And I took it to my niece back when you could still um visit your family and after the first lockdown um she didn't really want it it was a weird color and a stupid shape she wanted the proper orange pumpkin from uh for halloween anyway the point is that um to get to the nub of your point you're absolutely spot on i have never

once ever without exception in my entire life either gone to anyone's house for dinner or gone to any restaurant or cafe for dinner where marrow has been on the menu unless it's bone marrow which is a different thing can't grow that in your garden well you could but you'd be i mean it's terribly nutritious i imagine um that's what i was thinking actually um i talked about um you know like how uh we're big like basically energy cells of the human body um and when we die like the thing that people say the scientists scientists say or people forensic psychologists scientists um who have kind of found corpses out in nature that have just died naturally or unnaturally rather uh sometimes

um there's always like loads of flowers growing around it because the body is incredibly nutritious and when it starts to break down it releases nutrients and energy and stuff like that and i was saying this kind of like obsession with growing a big old bum which is not something that we've had for like generations what do you mean by that well like you know like when like you know everyone's obsessed with having a big bum right i'm just thinking we are i don't know what this is everyone's upset i'm just having a bum i don't have a bum you've got a little boy's bum you've you've been on instagram people have got big old bums now and they're obsessed with showing them off they're going look at my big bum

so right i'm thinking that when everyone dies with their big bums there's going to be like a massive release of energy that has never been seen before. We've been soaking up all these nutrients and making big bums. And when we die, there's going to be like this massive, we're going to be like batteries. All of the energy that's been lost

over the thousands of years where we've had normal sized bums. Now we've got big bums. When we die, like the planet will be saved because of the big bummed people yeah it's difficult to keep up sometimes with with the stuff you get into that's the product i'll never know where you're going to go with it i think people listening should at least try and remember that there's nothing planned about this i've not been told at any point in

advance that you're going to go on a rant about people with big bums and what the contribution they're going to make like planting two big lovely green marrows in the ground and sort of thinking, why do we eat marrows and why don't we eat butternut squash? And I was thinking, oh, I was thinking about that earlier on in the week. Like, what's going to happen to all of, like, I'm just saying the bums are powerful and they will save us. They will grow trees.

No, I like that you've identified a trope in content creation online and thought okay that seems to be happening a lot i wonder what's going to happen with it after death that's that's the first angle you've gone for but but i asked death of the world do you remember i was either talking to you about it um just generally or we talked about on this show ages ago it was one of the two they kind of of burst into one, but there was some kind of experimental garden, I'm going to say, in Scandinavia, where people were volunteering to have their bodies, after they died, left out in the wild.

So certain scientists... Yeah, there's one in Texas. Oh, right, OK. To kind of work out, like, it's for forensic people to figure out. So when they encounter bodies that have been hidden in a trunk or just sat around in a forest, they can sort of date them and find a little bit more about them. So it's a very, very useful tool for policemen and stuff like that.

One of the things that's interesting is that, I mean, so you talk about human beings being like batteries or whatever. I mean, we are really. I mean, because I think what you're alluding to is the idea that, you know, energy can never be created or destroyed, right? There's a finite amount of energy in the universe and it's just transferred between different things.

So, you know, if you punch a person in the face, you'll transfer your energy to their face. Like you're not creating energy with the punch. I don't know why that was the first example I thought of but it was anyway no i know yeah you've woken up in a very different mood than i have i'm talking about beautiful bums saving the world and you are wanting to punch people in the face you're talking about death i'm talking about punching it's the same as usual yeah but um okay the um the idea that one of the things that's kind of interesting to me is the idea that some people will say that well after they die they want so and so to happen to them right so i want when i die for this to happen to me so make sure you do it but that to my experience

never really happens because people just think oh well someone's died and they're upset about it and they want to get through all the funeral stuff. And I wonder how kind of diligent people are generally at fulfilling the wishes of someone who's died. Yeah, that's a very good point. Yeah, but I mean, I think anyone who's doing like, I don't necessarily understand funerals necessarily because I think it's just a bit strange. But I'd rather just kind of slink

off to be honest i'd rather just kind of i'd i'd if i knew i was going just crawl into the sewer and then that's the dirtiest of all the places so you want to be covered in other people's shit to die alone yeah i want to be fighting into a fatberg at speed um with a torrent of rainwater that's what i want that's how i want to go i think it's probably it's probably a really good indicator of people's personality to ask them what they'd like to happen after they die because what because yours is yours is a funeral you'd say state funeral yeah yours is obviously going to be completely depressing and nihilistic whereas mine is like i'd like to be put in one of those viking long boats and have a someone fire a flaming arrow into my boat

and so I sail out into sea on fire because I'm vainglorious basically. Why don't we just fill an old Ford Cortina up with petrol and just drive right into a storm drain and just kill two birds with one stone. You'll be on fire. I'll be heading for a fatberg. Lovely old job. Thel uh and just kill two birds with one stone you'll be on fire i'll be heading for a fatberg lovely old job felmer and louise part two you're talking to a fatberg now if someone said to you um you can you can sign this form and um what they'll do after you die

is um because they've decided that your brain is fine. Although this is a bit of a stretch with you, but your brain is fine. So it may be in 50 years' time, they might be able to reanimate you. Would you volunteer for that? Would I be conscious, though? Because you could reanimate anyone. But you know those kind of theme restaurants

that have those bears that dance and play the guitar and stuff, play like a disco number while the kids eat their food. Have you seen those before? In America, mainly. Well, not real bears, though. No, but they're like animatronic kind of puppets. I'm not talking about you being able to have a weekend at Bernie's type thing. It's not really a massive philosophical question, is it?

Someone takes your dead corpse and degrades it by making you do a puppet show I'm not talking about that because obviously you're not going to sell up to that are you but I mean if you could somehow be reanimated at the level of the brain once I'm dead do with me what you want do with me give me to a cannibal let him chow down on an underwhelming bit of meat lovely yeah it might be a bit sinewy

get involved it would be erm nah it'd be mainly fat. I think I would put you in a chair and do an episode of a podcast with you and complain about your jingles so you can answer back. Yeah, just sort of go, Oh, you agree that you don't like these sort of people and try and get me cancelled Just while I have my silence.

Cancelled after death. Just cancelled after death. Oh, yeah, your silence speaks volumes, Donaldson. You don't like the Chinese, do you? Pete, I think it would be a dereliction of duty to our listeners. Which, to be fair, this show is partly all about. But on this occasion, I think we should avoid that. it would be a dereliction of duty to not talk about that massive cargo ship oh it is i don't know about what i don't know how uh how interested your dad is has been in the hall

but it but it really has been everyone everyone out there who's got a dad, no matter where they are in the world, will have heard their dad's take on how they should dislodge the fucking cargo ship. It's like men round a barbecue. Well, I'd probably use some high-powered jets to probably get rid of some of the cargo on the ship. jets to probably get rid of some of the cargo on the ship. It's just so compulsive for men of a certain age. This is what I would do.

Oh, mate. One of the things I wanted to bring to the table was that I text my mate who lives in Geneva and is a ship broker. I kind of unthinkingly text him saying, not one of your ships, is it, lol? And he just replied saying, I'm a bit busy at the moment, mate.

Because obviously the world's trade has been backed up and he's got a proper job. So it is fascinating to the dads of the world. Do you think there's anyone out there listening who hasn't seen this story? It's been quite a transcendent story, right? Probably everyone will know what it is, right? It's kind of affected...

I mean, it's hard to see... It's funny because the ship is so large and the body of water is going down. It looks like a puddle. And it's like, that is... If that stops, if that little stretch of water stops, right, we're fucked. And you've put a ship that's way too it looks

way too big for the canal and it's too big and it's too big and and if that stops the whole fucking world um you know it'll just kind of like fucks it gets fucked up am i the only person here who was expecting the sewers canal to be a lot more impressive than that because yeah you hear about it a lot don't you it gets talked about a lot i mean than that. Because you hear about it a lot, don't you? It gets talked about a lot. I mean, it's got its own crisis. It's apparently revolutionised world trade. It's a big deal.

I think it should look better than that to me. It looks like when the tide goes out, a regional British beach. Oh, it looked like, I remember, I mean, I think the first time I heard about it was Disraeli had a lot of trouble with it back in the day. The Egyptian shares getting sold and stuff and he was in all kinds of bother. And I was like, and I've not really...

It wasn't, by the way, it wasn't Disraeli, was it? I thought it was Anthony Eden. No, Disraeli had the Suez Canal crisis, wasn't it? No, that was Anthony Eden, mate. Disraeli died in the end of the 19th century. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go.

Hang on. Hang on. The Suez Crisis was like 1956. It was like 70 years after he died. Hang on. Disraeli. Foreign policy. Where is she?

Where is she? Second government. Where is it? Where is she? Second government. Where is it? Where is it? Suez Canal. He had trouble with the Suez Canal. I swear it. But we can agree the Suez Crisis was in the 50s.

Let's agree on that. No, that wasn't the Suez Crisis. Okay, fine. It's just always in crisis, basically. Yeah, sorry. I mean, it's partly to do with Israeli problems, not Disraeli problems, unless I've misread the situation.

But anyway, carry on. Disraeli purchased 44% of the canal's total. Didn't give Britain ownership, but it did give a strong voice and protection against adverse policies. And it was the Rothschilds that did it. Bloody Rothschilds getting involved. I can't remember any of it,

but I remember it was causing Disraeli a lot of trouble at home in its premiership. And then you see it now. I've not really sort of paid that much attention to it. And it's like, it just looks very underwhelming. It doesn't look like it's got, like, fortified banks. It's just a big, soggy river. Because when I first saw the ship and I saw the canal,

I was like, well, listen, I've not done any work or got any experience in this area, but I could have told you that was going to be a problem. This ship is 220 000 tons right the canal looks like it's about 10 feet wide so oh hang on we are we are straying into dad territory here we are dads that's the thing people just dads without kids aren't we yeah you've got you've got access to two dogs i've got access to two cats. We are essentially dads in all but name. I bought like a really amazing little kind of sort of China figurine,

porcelain figurine of a boner terrier that was kind of roughly half the size of Lola, the smallest dog I have access to. And so I've just been taking loads of pictures of this little figurine with the dog with captions, don't talk to me or my son ever again. And I realised I've turned into one of those people, those crazy dog people who buy figurines of dogs. I've got salt and pepper shakers that are bought at Terry's as well. I like the idea that the captain of that big cargo ship when asked for a statement just said

this is the only canal I've got access to where do you want me to go? where do you want me to fucking go? alright let's have a quick break Peter when we come back we'll do some emails and apparently there's some lookalikes on our Instagram that we've got to go through as well according to producer Nat

so we better do that but we'll do them the other side of the break. Hello, I'm Clive Anderson and My 7 Wonders is my podcast where I sit down with some fascinating guests and ask them one simple question. If you could pick your own 7 Wonders of the World, what would they be? The guests' choices lead us to some

interesting tales, whether it's Omid Jalili being stopped by New York customs. They brought me in for the interview. They said, so what are you doing there? I'm doing a show with Whoopi Goldberg. And the guy said, I'm doing a show with Whoopi Goldberg. As if you are. And I said, excuse me?

I am. That's why I'm going there. He's doing a show with Whoopi Goldberg. I couldn't believe my ears. Olivia Lee eating 120-pound apples at Sogo House. I mean, it is hideously expensive. If I'm just going there once and taking an apple, it's the most expensive apple you'll ever eat.

Or David Baddiel talking about his dad's dementia. The other thing he could remember are his regular insults. So still, when you leave my dad, if you say I'm off, he will say you've been off for years. And it's really comforting that he can still abuse you in this way. Forget the Taj Mahal and the lighthouse of Alexandria. The wonders of the world we talk about are much more unique. Listen to My 7 Wonders now on your favourite podcast app.

My 7 Wonders with Clive Anderson is a Stakhanov production. Suez Canal, why are you so underwhelming? It's the Luke and Pete Show Part 2 on a Monday. It's a nice day. It's a nice day outside and it's only going to get sunnier. It's apparently, where I am, Luke, 20 degrees tomorrow, right? Yeah. And then on Friday, it's going to be 2 degrees.

What's that about? I heard it's going to be very, very nice tomorrow, so people should enjoy that if they can. But I'm sat in the spare room with the blind down because I'm doing this show, so I can't enjoy today's weather festivities. That's troubled me, that news about Friday, because if that's true,

I'm going to have to change one of the biggest plans I've got for this week, which is to take the citrus plants back outside. Oh, yeah. No, watch out for the ground frost, mate. You're going to have to change one of the biggest plans I've got for this week, which is to take the citrus plants back outside. Oh, yeah. Now watch out for the ground frost, mate. You're going to be in trouble. I was told that after the clocks go forward, it's very unlikely we're going to get any kind of really, really cold weather.

So that's disappointing to hear. But I'll research that later. We're allowed to play football now. I'm going to go to Leighton Buzzard and I'm going to go on my scooter and it's going to be the longest journey. I'll update you next week, but it's the longest journey I'll have done on a scooter

on Wednesday night. It's going to be wild. This is giving me big Dumb and Dumber vibes this. How far are you going to be? Are you on the motorway? I'm not allowed on the motorway. I've got to go to learner plates,

isn't it? I didn't say, I didn't ask if you were allowed I asked if what you were going to do oh right okay yeah true how far is the journey to go on a moped

it's going to be half an hour nice that'd be good I could probably shave I could shave five minutes off that yeah

go through go through a few people's back gardens be fine right we've got to do we've got to do lookalikes here so there was not my idea but

it was put out there on Instagram that there's some lookalikes for me and you now people know that Pete you look like absolutely everyone so we'll save you for last we'll just get a couple of mine out the way first Brendan on Instagram said before I knew what Luke looked like the image

in my mind was super hands. I've never seen, that's the guy from Peep Show, I know that, but I've never really seen Peep Show. I've only really seen the memes. So give me a little bit of a describer. We had an epoch relationship defining argument

about that you said that the, what's that that you said that the... What's that program you like about the children? Fucking hell, careful. The children that are... Careful, steady. My little pony, what have I... The children. Mini pops.

You like mini pops? No, I... You find it alluring. Okay, let me clarify. I have seen a couple of episodes of the first series of Peep Show a long time ago. I didn't like it that much. Right.

And we had a big row. And I think it was you, Jim, Marcus, and a couple of others against me because I was saying the in-betweeners is better than Peep Show, basically. I think Spellsie was on your side, personally. Was he? That's how I thought.

Yeah, that's how I thought. OK. Because he's got some funny ideas about stuff. Anyway, but the in-betweeners, I just think it's not fashionable to like the in-between, so people won't say it. But I think it's really sharply written and it's got a lot more depth to it than people realise.

But that's probably a discussion for another episode. But do I remind you of Superhands, Pete? And if you can give me a big bit of a breakdown of what Superhands is like, that'd be helpful. Superhands is like a dangerous drug-addled kind of spaceman who's just always up to up to this and that and he always kind of and he's he always kind of like he leads is it jazz he leads jazz astray with harebrained schemes and uh and just drug abuse really so yeah he did he's quite an

interesting character he's definitely the the best character in Peep Show, though. So, I mean, take that. The big barrier for me is I don't particularly like the work of, or the oeuvre, or the, let's be honest, the personalities of David Mitchell or Robert Webb. So it's a difficult barrier for me to get over. Yeah, but they're not playing those characters. I mean, obviously, the people you know are not the characters that are within Peep Show. But it doesn't matter. He is the best character within Peep Show. But it doesn't matter.

He's the best character in Peep Show. Are you explaining to me what an acting performance is? Yes. Well, it seems I have to. Sometimes people pretend to be other people. Yeah, exactly. All right. Another one of mine apparently is Andrew Beef Johnston.

I know who that is. He's a golf pro. He's a fat bloke with a beard and bad teeth. Fine. Okay. And my sister's helpfully got in touch. I look like the honey monster from Sugar Path. Great. who that is he's a gold throw she's a fat bloke with a beard and bad teeth fine um okay and my sister's helpfully got in touch so i look like the honey monster from sugar paths great that's that's more that's not a look like it's more a vibe i would say yeah it's an energy isn't it

it's an energy that yeah you got sugar puff energy yeah um so pete you've been you've been likened to and i thought i'd seen all the pete donaldson lookalikes because we spent a lot of our time in the various whatsapp groups we're both members of talking about people you look like. I've never heard this one from our mate Dinosaurs in a Pub who's always getting in touch. He says that he always thought that you look a bit like Dominic Cummings.

Yeah, I could see that. The cum dog. And the relish in the cum dog. The relish in which you sort of said that as if you'd... The little resin cum dog. Yeah, I can kind of see that because when I shave, I do look quite featureless, I would say. And you're quite shifty as well.

Dominic Cummings has always got a furtive look on his face, like he's always shifty-ing around somewhere. Always up to, always, you know, machinations, my Machiavellian moves in the background of Stakhanov Industries. But no, I think the, I would certainly say that, yeah, I kind of get that a little bit. But I'm also enjoying the fact that Luke is so pleased with that observation by dinosaurs in a pub

that I will be hearing about it constantly because he thinks he's got one on me. Last week's Luke thought he had one on me was that he genuinely thought that I thought I resembled Ryan Gosling. Yeah, you did. That was really funny. That was really funny. He thought it was funny.

He thought it was funny. And I didn't really understand. But sometimes I get kind of pulled along with it, like a rolling wave in the Suez Canal. No, listen, let me clarify this. He says something. He says something and then he's really pleased with it. And then I go, okay, yeah, fine.

And he goes, yeah, yeah, you hate that, don't you? I'm going, well, I'm quite ambivalent to it, to be honest. I don't really care. You know, listen, right. Part of that is true. And I'm going to give people the proper version now because you do really care. You certainly care enough about it to mention it.

Anyway, there was something that happened about five years ago where, and I've told this story before, but I need to tell it again as pretext to this. Anyway, we were in a room making a show at some studio we had to hire out for some reason. And there was an engineer in there who was like a really handsome swedish man and he dressed pretty cool and he had blonde curly hair and stuff

and um you said to me while we were waiting to get started see that guy over there and i said yeah and he said that's what you think you look like right which is a really really good um accurate cutting um put down i respect it a great deal the point is you shared a picture of ryan gosling in a vest on a motorbike with the hair and all that kind of stuff yeah and i said that's what you think you look like on your scooter because i think even in the back of your mind you've got a little bit about you thinking oh yeah i'm a marlon brando type character in there look how cool i am and i just think there's a little bit of truth to that that's all i think look i think that uh you you can't you can't have it both ways you can't say that i've got lost self-esteem and then me rocket thinking that i look like ryan gosling that's

one way of looking at it the other way of looking at it is that anytime you get some kind of semblance of an idea of a suspicion that you might resemble Ryan Gosling in any way to improve said self-esteem, I hammer you straight away to stop it. Fair dues, yeah. The nail that sticks out the wall gets hammered down, etc, etc. I do think you have a bit of an affinity with Ryan Gosling. I think you aspire to him a little bit. You talk about him a lot. Oh, yeah, because I think he's wonderful.

I think he's genuinely... I think he's a brilliant actor who does nothing. Yeah. That's what I was going to say. That's what I said to you. I said it before and I'll say it again. There's very few actors who have that kind of magnetism, and Ryan Gosling is very much one of them.

At some point, if he wants to go to the next level as an actor he is going to have to speak at some point I think. He's going to have to do some acting. Unless we're going back to silent films. Cool let's do a quick email because we've probably got time to squeeze one in. Now before I do though I want to shout out to Kenny listener Kenny who's sent in a street called Belend

Gardens, Belenden Gardens in Edinburgh which okay that's funny. It's got the word Bellenden in it, fine. But as he correctly points out, if you look at it on Google Maps, the road itself does actually look like a penis. It's got like a crescent at the top, like the head of the wangler. They've done that on purpose, Pete.

They must have done it on purpose. Are there any glands involved are there any glands I could see but it does look like a bellend and a penis so I think I think that's fairly

fairly obvious that someone's done that on purpose so thank you very much to you Kenny I think the email I'll read out is a public service for you Pete Donaldson from our friend Ian

he's a listener but he's our friend if he isson, from our friend Ian. He's a listener, but he's our friend if he is a listener. So our friend Ian says, hello, just catching up on last week's shows and heard Pete lamenting the demise of Topman. Place that you like to frequent, Peter. Ian says, just to let you know that all is not lost, though, because ASOS bought

Topman, Topshop and Miss Selfridge for the princely sum of £265 million. And Topman is now a section on the ASOS app and website. If you want to, Pete, you can get your fix of shopping for Topman in a physical store as well. But you'd have to go to the US as the concessions in Nordstrom are staying open with the Topman brand. So he finishes on quite a chilling note by saying, as we get closer to the April 12th reopening in the UK, it's a bit weird to think that Topman, Topshop, Burton, Dorothy Perkins, Miss Selfridge and Debenhams will no longer be a part of the high street.

That is quite weird, really, isn't it? Yeah, but I mean, that is weird, but everyone sort of criticised me when I was upset about Maplin, so I'm not going to cry for those brands, goddammit. Everyone was like, ha-ha, pizza no, because he can't get a five-amp fuse on the high street. Well, look what's happened, dickheads. Now he can't have a Miss Selfridge.

Don't pull one out on a Maplin cable because it'll probably fucking break Maplin wasn't corona related though was it? Maplin went out of business before the pandemic didn't it? no just mismanagement gross mismanagement at a board level I bet the people at Maplin's are going

well we could have waited about a year and blamed this on corona got some of that sweet furlough money. What were the major issues with Maplin to your memory? Didn't know what it was, really. I mean, it would sell little electrical components, which were very useful, but then they just skewed, they steered into the curve too much.

They steered into a skid, and that skid was very much lithium batteries. Right. Everything was a skid, and that skid was very much lithium batteries. Right. Everything was a battery pack, and they just forgot about their core audience, which is mobile disc jockeys DJing roller discos. And that was very much the disco lights, the microphones, the XLR cables. That was their core audience, and they steered away from it. They got excited about cheap Chinese lithium batteries

and they let the country down, quite frankly. They flew too close to the battery. I think there's a Donaldson's law, which is that if you're attending a stack live podcast event in the four hours between curtain up, there's a four hours between mustuster Time and Curtain Up in that afternoon, key afternoon period, that key afternoon window.

Donaldson's law states that if you cannot see Donaldson, there is at least a 50% chance he's gone to a local Maplin to buy some kind of bit of tech. Some kind of bit of nonsense to make the show work. Look, they made the dream work. The problem is with Maplins is they didn't sell a lot of nonsense to make the show work. Look, they made the dream work. The problem is with Mappens

is they didn't sell a lot of like Apple branded VGA cables which was something we just constantly needed. I can't believe given their reputation, given their situation

that no one in the playgrounds of Britain used to call them Kraplin. Kraplin, that's true, yeah,

actually, yeah. Or Tandy. Tandy could have been called Randy. I mean, we used to have two. We used to have Tandy. I think Radio Shack, did Radio Shack take over Tandy? And so we briefly had Radio Shack in this country.

I want to say that was the case. Rumbelows. And we had Maplins as well, just a lot. Well, Rumbelows was white goods, wasn't it? It was washing machines and... Rumbelows is where you could hire stuff, right? Where you'd pay for it to rent it because you couldn't afford to buy it, right? No, it was Radio Rentals.

They had shops for a bit, didn't they? Yeah. I'll tell you what. It was an absolute treasure drive, wasn't it, back in the day? It was. The high street was just the electronics boutique. That was a precursor of game.

That's the thing. If human beings are honest with themselves, right, they can be told over and over again that Amazon are doing this that and the other and it should be like um criticized more and all the rest of it right but it doesn't hit people in the fields the same way you start nostalgically talking about radio rentals or rumblos and people go god that was really good like going to a shop that was really good that's the thing that gets you going i can remember like um i can

remember like for example you're talking about your hmvs your hour price your tower records your virgin records all these different types of music store i can vividly remember getting in my little ford fiesta in the late 90s and driving around these different places trying to find one specific cd because i wanted it yeah These days, that's gone. That's gone now. Where are you going to buy it? You're going to go in, you're going to be like, oh, what's that over there?

Is it a Spin Doctor CD or is it the Saw Doctors? Either way, I don't want either of them. That reminds me of looking at the old Radiohead reissues and Japanese imports in WH Smiths that were like 50 quid each. Just kind of rolling around trying to find a particular CD in Hartlepool in the 90s that you were never going to get. I for one can't see

why anyone got annoyed with Metallica charging £18.99 for their CDs. That was mental. They are very talented but they are very toilet aren't they that band? That whole outfit. I actually respect them more for their absolutely voracious appetite for money. Right, speaking of which, let's get out.

We've got to go because every minute more we do is less value for us. True, true, exactly. We've got things to do. We'll be back on Thursday for more of this, if that's all right with you, at lookingpeachshow.com on Twitter. You can get in touch with the show. We'll be back on Thursday for more of this if that's all right with you at LukeandPeteShow.com on Twitter. You can get in touch with the show.

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