The Luke and Pete Show - Only Fans And Horses

Episode Date: May 27, 2021

On today’s show, Pete is joined by Vish once more to discuss the art of life drawing and how to handle awkward parent situations, before we look towards clubs re-opening and decide on what *not* to do on the dance floor. Elsewhere, we review this year’s Eurovision and Vish shares his tips on people-watching, before a listener gets in touch after being attacked by an unfortunate car airbag. We've got all that and a whole lot more, DON'T MISS OUT!Get involved by dropping us a nonsense-fuelled email over at [e-mail] or by giving us a message on @lukeandpeteshow. We love hearing from you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

it's thursday it's the luke and pete show we're talking battery brands we're talking pete and we're talking vish is joining us uh for the second show of the week how the devil is there's the conceit that we we've brought vish back for thursday but we're actually recording it on monday it's fine now we've got emails we've got loads of things to talk about there's there's enough news stories to get us through. Maybe I'll bring in some artificial intelligence, Patrick Stewart. Hi, Pete. Hi, Pete.

It's very, very weird. I do think about affecting my voice in a Thursday manner. Yeah. I thought, what do I do? What are you doing on Wednesday night? What are you going to sound like on Thursday? Because I reckon by Thursday it would be quite upbeat, wouldn't I? Yeah. It'd be a freaking weekend. Yeah, brilliant, yeah. But it's like Mondays. Oh, what am I like on Mondays?

Who likes Mondays? No one, not me. This weekend I'm going to the zoo again. I went to the zoo for my 40th, it was like three weeks ago. And then this weekend I'm going to the zoo again to stay, which is what I did three weeks ago. Oh, that did look a lot of fun, actually. Yeah, I'm doing it again because we spoke about it on the show before.

Somebody had bought tickets for their family, couldn't go because of a dog situation, so I bought the tickets off them. And so I'm going to be the guy who's going to the zoo for the second time in three weeks, which is the sort of thing you should be locked up for, in my opinion. Yeah, it does seem like you're casing the joint. It's like the, I'm going to steal a capybara, which would be very, I think they'd be very placid in the back of a Fiat 500, quite frankly, with help plates.

Just get a little collar for it. Like tie it up. Oh, I thought you were swinging it around. Yeah. The, um, they, are they quite, can they be quite vicious? I think they give you a nasty nip. Oh, cause they've got little, little, little, yeah, little sort of beavery sort of teeth. So yeah.

Yeah. Lovely, lovely yeah lovely little guys though you can actually legally just have them it's not like can you? yeah they're classically they're just a rodent but they're just

fucking massive you just need a lot of grass for them and a lot of ground but if I ever had if I ever had like a proper kind of estate that's what I'd

definitely go for just have capybaras just running around yeah that'd be cool very easy to deal with yeah it'd be like little Ewoks wouldn't it

yes lovely they'll be wearing waistcoats because I'd be out in the sticks like little snooker players yes lovely why has nobody done like a capybara

kind of dogs playing pool kind of picture yeah ah so I would love to see any artists out there Luke and Peacho is one of those shows that I do a show

for Calder Brown in Japan where I sort of course with this lad who lives in Japan he's like a sort of English

J vlogger who just sort of walks around going look isn't this mental this is mad living here and that's that's the whole thing

and as all can see but I we get drawn quite a lot people draw us quite a lot. People draw us quite a lot. Like,

and I know, like, they're looking running short, running odd. I think producing that drew a lovely picture of me and Luke, but I think that's the only drawing out there

of me and Luke. But people on the Abrandged Man podcast, they just draw us in like anime styles, kind of manga styles and stuff. I've ever been drawn before? No,

no. In a complimentary organised one? Drawing from afar? No, no. In a complimentary organisation? Drawn from afar. No, I haven't. And I think I find that quite personal, being drawn. Yeah, I've never been drawn before. My partner used to do live, is it live action drawing?

Yeah, I guess. What do you mean? As in like life drawing? Life drawing. Right, okay. So she would be the model and then people would... Oh, right, okay. Because it was quite a good way to make a bit of money.

Yeah, definitely. I didn't ask her how much more she did of that. Okay. But we have... So we have one of... We have a good one of her in our living room. Nice, okay, cool. Which, when my parents come round,

I don't think they know exactly what it is. Right, okay. So is it a demure Titanic-style chaise longueuse situation? No, it's from the side. Right, good. It's really well done. I mean, I recognise it.

But my... I've forgotten about it now, but now that my parents... Sorry, I've forgotten about it now that my parents come in. But I remember when we first put it up, when my parents... Sorry, I've forgotten about it now that my parents come in. But I remember when we first put it up, when my parents came around, I was like, oh my God. That's you.

How are they going to clock it? And to be fair, my mum's the type of person who will register that something's awkward and not talk about it. Oh, that is perfect. Yeah, so maybe I wouldn't know. Perfect mum behaviour, right. Yeah, but she does know a lot of stuff that I thought she didn't know. Okay, anything that you can broadcast?

Well, just the kind of, I suppose, just all the basic things you do when you're young where you think, I've gotten away with this. And, you know, from being pissed

to just like general hygiene to be like, no, I've just really started this out. Right, okay. And then one day, my mum doesn't drink much, but every now and again

when she does, she'll be like, by the way, I know about this. Just to be honest. Yes, please. this out right okay and then one day um my mom doesn't drink much but every now and again when she does she'd be like by the way i know about this just to be honest yes please i know yeah lovely you might want to get her right i just like the fact that uh i would always i think i would always get away because my dad got away with being pissed all the time and i think my mom really knew i found it excruciating because he'd be very chatty and want to know about your day and be interested in you. I'm like, get the... You're only doing this because you're being in the pub. Get out.

I'm trying to play the Amiga video game Pushover with Colin Quaver. And, yeah, he would annoy me, but my mum would never really sort of have a problem with it. And so I think when I would come home absolutely steaming, I would sort of pretend to yawn like this so I didn't really have to problem with it. And so I think when I would come on absolutely steaming, I would sort of pretend to yawn like this so I didn't really have to form words properly. Oh, mother, I'm so tired.

And it's like, pretend I wasn't absolutely steaming. It's not a bad technique, kids, if you want to get away with being absolutely hammered. Yeah, that is quite a good one because I would always go down the route of your dad. I'd always be like... Just be pissed all the time. Yeah.

Or just be really interested in something but yeah I mean that was my that was my defence mechanism right mum how's your day she'd be like fuck off

I don't give a shit I was like yeah how are you are you dad are you well are you well dad are you having a nice time father

oi oi oi hey June 21st last days are on. Everything's going to be opening up again. They're going to be opening nightclubs and places where you can dance.

Weddings. What's that about? How are we going to go back to normal? June 21st, how, it's going to be like the roaring 20s. Is it the roaring 20s?

I can't remember what it was. After the war, everyone went absolutely demented with fun and hedonism. Yeah, I suppose it would be. But then, although one thing I have noticed in the, you know, I suppose since the start of last week now, was how quickly things have gone back to normal.

So after Five Aside on Friday, we went to the pub after and we only got a table outside because we were late but inside was basically the same beyond putting a mask to get up and go to the bathroom you know people were kind of around tables and then yeah it just seemed kind of normal and people were like you're able to get close and there were a couple of people on i think it was on Saturday when I was out I went out last week jeez just accidentally

but you notice quite a few people who were on dates which is quite cool oh nice that's cool and there was a sense that like I would say generally

I've got a good date radar I reckon I'd be able to tell you know whether it's maybe not right down to an exact number

but like it's clearly early on or like they're clearly all over each other because it's out of that kind of like five, six, eight suites

more or whatever speak for yourself Vish but there was a sense when I was also on on Saturday I think where I was like oh I don't know because

there's a lot of making up for lost time a lot of people have been on Zoom dates a lot of people might have like time. A lot of people have been on Zoom dates. A lot of people might have bubbled together and kind of gone that way. So, no, it's interesting. I think the dynamic is going to completely change. I just can't wait for dancing to come back.

Yes. I'm probably not going to go dancing, but it's just nice to know that it's an option at the end of an evening. Karaoke bars. Yeah. Dancing. They're often quite quite like dancing and certainly clubs i've always found a really good leveler because sometimes you'd go too far and you'd

want to dance and kind of expend that booze in some way but my main fear is that like i think i'm an all right dancer and i'm massively into hip-hop so that's generally the route that i go down at a certain time oh what you go to a serious hip-hop club? Well, not a serious one, but there are some which aren't full of poses, I suppose. Yeah, okay, nice. Where it's just basically a bar that plays really good hip-hop music and people just dance around in. Cool.

But I haven't done it in so long that I think I wonder if I'm just properly rusty and maybe I'm at the age where you just don't get it back. Right, okay. So there's a little bit, there's a tinge of anxiety there about that. Did you sort of do dancing when you were a kid? Did you sort of do? No,

not really. Get your lino out? I was like, no, no, not that kind of stuff. I had a mate who, um,

who's a really good break dancer, but it just got really annoying. Cause we'd go, we'd be at a club when we were younger and he'd start break dancing and we, you'd like, people would have to move out of the way. It's impressive but there has to be

more than one person doing it. Yeah. Otherwise you're just showing off. Like, I know it's all showing off but yeah, and it's very impressive when it happens but I can see everyone else's

and it's usually lads' eyes looking at the breakdancers going, I can show anything. Yeah, yeah. I could probably do that if I'd had no friends. I was going to be square in line. I was hung out under a pass with them.

Spray of paint. Men are the worst, aren't they? We're the absolute worst. Just horrible jealousy. Needless jealousy. Obviously, we probably should have talked about this on Monday, but over the weekend, Eurovision happened. Big deal, obviously, we probably should have talked about this on Monday, but over the weekend, Eurovision happened. Big deal, obviously.

I'm always surprised how into Eurovision everyone is. Though this year, I came back from the pub and it was still going on and they announced the winner. Italy won. Very strangely dressed men and women. And quite an underwhelming song. Have you heard the Italy song? You know what, I haven't.

It's very like, it's like the band, who did Jet? Are you going to be my girl? It's a bit that. It's a bit like, oh God, this is trash. And I don't normally have a strong opinion about it, but I remember thinking, it's pretty poor actually. Yeah, because the, I mean, I didn't watch this Eurovision,

but I mean, I caught up on the drama. Twitter's great for that, isn't it? Gives you all the information you need to know without giving you the actual information of what's going on. But the,

yeah, I've always found Eurovision is primarily just trash. And then every now and again, you're like, that's pretty good. Yeah. That's really catchy.

I can imagine being in that country, out and listening to that song. Yeah. Okay. I can understand this. I didn't realize though that one of the stipulations was that they all have to be uns song and being like, okay, I can understand this. I didn't realise though that one of the stipulations

was that they all have to be unsigned acts. Is that true? Oh, is that true then? Right, so that's why we don't get like big hitters. Oh, we do get big hitters, don't we?

Oh, they don't have to have a current, they can't have a current record contract. Exactly, yeah. So Blue did it a few years ago for Great Britain. Yeah, it's the UK.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But is it the UK or Great Britain I don't actually know actually I think it might be the United Kingdom you know okay yeah

but they so Blue represented the UK or Great Britain because they were unsigned which is quite sad that is you wouldn't want

to admit that we qualify for Eurovision well I think what's our what was our big winners I think it was Gina G and also Katrina and the Waves who I think what's our what was our big winners I think it was Gina G

and also Katrina and the Waves who I think had a hit in the 80s and obviously they they kind of went off but you'd think we would find some

acts who haven't who haven't been signed who don't have a current contract they would sort of be able to sort of we should be able to find someone better than the ones that we've got

if you know what I mean someone will have another tilted glory surely yeah I think Cascada was originally a Eurovision entry oh interesting yeah oh that's decent they're pretty big things yeah so i've always wondered if it was a route for you know someone could use it as a platform in that way but um yeah apparently not yeah no it didn't happen to blue again did it

yeah but the guy uh was uh looking at a piece i think he was looking at a broken glass on the floor, I happen to. The more I watch it, the more I sort of get my... You know, slow it down and, you know, do a long YouTube viewing of it, kind of. I think he was probably looking or surveying a glass. Because it would be a ballsy and weird thing to do on a table, wouldn't it?

Yeah, yeah. I think he... So the one thing I think that makes him look more guilty is the person sat to his right. He ate a bowl of complex afterwards. Really hungry. Just kept messing around with his teeth.

But the guy sat... Talking, like really talking about the very next day, let's start a band. Dave, you'd be great, mate. Let's start a band. Come on you'd be great, man. Let's start a band. Come on. Yeah, so the guy next to him does give him a nudge.

Give him a nudge. But I wonder if he gives him a nudge to be like, we're on camera. We're all clapping and posing on camera. Stop looking down, look up. And yeah, because when he goes to do what people, when he goes to do the phantom bump as it were

yeah it obviously looks like he's doing it but then I was having a conversation with a mate who does partake in those activities Eurovision yeah he's unsigned he's an unsigned act

but the jeopardy of having it so close to the edge of the table is... Is he going to lose it? Yeah. I can't imagine anyone else at the party will have any. But it was also... So their explanation of it afterwards didn't help because they were so against it that people would have thought, right, they just compensated.

Yeah, they were like, I will get a test. I will get a drug test. I just compensated. Yeah, they were sort of like, I will get a test. I will get a drug test. I will do this. Yeah, it's, yeah. And also, it didn't look like he was using a straw. He would just be jamming his face into it, which is like a Tony Montana kind of. Yeah, exactly.

It's a hell of a flex, isn't it? Wow. I saw they posted an apology, didn't they? Yes. Sorry you thought I did drugs. But they said they'd be up for being tested, but instead of tested, they said tasted. Tasted.

I know. And I just thought, well, it's been that kind of night. You've been suffered for anything. Might numb the mouth. You never know. A lot of lidocaine in there. Right. So we're going to take a shot at Britain.

We've got some emails. There's a battery brand. We're doing battery brands. Vish, are you A lot of lidocaine in there. Right, so we're going to take a short break. We're back with some emails. There's a battery brand. We're doing battery brands. Vish, are you a big battery fan? I like batteries. It's very useful. That was the best I was going to expect from that. And we're back.

It's a Luke and Pete show, part two. Hope you enjoyed those adverts. Maybe a house ad in there as well, telling you about one of the fine other shows from the Stack Stable. What's your favourite Stack show, Vish? Let's put you on the spot. My favourite Stack show is probably...

Not that, because I'm on it. I would say it's the Luke and Pete show. Correct. Correct answer. Every single week, we talk about battery brands. We've had some stormers in. It all started with uh i think luke finding some interestingly named uh kind of third party kind of off the beaten track batteries in a

uh whatever he had uh sex toy calculator whatever um but uh so every week we get people sort of um uh coming to the table with with new battery bands you might not have heard before uh wasim is coming uh with uh piz cell p-i-z-c-e-l are you familiar with the piz cell brand it doesn't sound very familiar the problem is that the whole conceit of this whole the whole kind of setup for this whole feature is that i've got to remember whether we've done this brand before so whether it's a new player or not it's very much kind of like predicated on me remembering anything which is very much not my bag and not my brand, to be quite frank. I'm relying on Luke for a lot of the heavy lifting. So Pizzle, new player for you, Vig?

Is it going on the list? It rings a bell. Maybe I'm doing this thing where I'm trying to think, can I see it on the side of a battery? Yeah. And I can. You can see anything. Well, yeah.

There's something about it. I don't know. It's a bit onomatopoeic, isn't it? Yes, yeah. I can imagine that as a battery. Yeah. Power Flash, Sam. I don't think that's a new player,

to be honest, Sam. And also Joseph Eddington sent in GP batteries. Now, Joseph, you've clearly not been listening for a very long time because I think GP was the first battery we ever sort of looked at. So no, that's not going on the list i'm very disappointed in you

nick got in touch saying that i work in a research lab for some reason our office is a large box filled with old used batteries despite my initial confusion upon stumbling across this box of exhausted electrical juice it actually makes sense given the nature of research and scientists as soon as the word science or research is attached to a product it suddenly becomes 10 times more expensive for no fucking reason case in point half a liter of science grade water costs 50 dollars 50 dollars for some science grade water someone is absolutely making a killing out of that well it's the way that they sell distilled water as well yes because you know that's the ideal one that you want to use in your iron for example because it doesn't give off the is it is it like it doesn't have as much kind of like uh it doesn't

fur up or something is that how it works it's the lime scale residue yes obviously when it evaporates and stuff like that right okay similar to what you get on the inside of the kettle but can you not make it on can you know you can. Can you not just put it through a filter or something? Yeah, yeah, you can, yeah. But it's something about buying it where you're like, right, this is official. So imagine putting it in the fridge and taking a swig from it. Yeah, exactly. It would be delicious, though.

You wouldn't get your pipes filled up. My dad once, when he was in the Navy, he once made a cocktail for his friends, pouring metal polish through a loaf of bread to filter it and then put the metal polish in some orange juice. And that was their night out liquor for the night. What did that do to them? My dad's blind now.

I don't know. I don't know. They were fine, but it wasn't particularly delicious. Don't try it at home, kids. But yeah, one of my dad's naval stories. The things you don't realize you would do if you were desperate if you were desperate for free yes exactly whether it's live on eurovision or in the navy i'm constantly watching that guy on uh youtube where he how he

makes a kettle or how he makes um fruit prison hooch uh in the toilet system. He's an ex-con. He's come out and he teaches YouTube viewers how to make hooch out of just fruit juice and bits of fruit and stuff. Like ferments it in his toilet. It's not right. It's not right. Should we hit some emails? Why not? Lovely.

Do you want to do Justin's one? Kick us off? Yes. Lovely. Control F, Justin. That's the first one. An only fools and horses question for Pete. Okay.

I've let this stew for long enough and I'm finally writing in to ask you about this show. I'm an American and I've never heard of Only Fools and Horses and honestly, I don't even care about the show itself. What's been bothering me though though, is the title. It sounds to me like it's part of an aphorism or saying or a punchline to an old joke or something. It comes off like if you were to name a show,

Horseshoes and Hand Grenades, which only makes sense if you already know that old saying where it comes after clothes only count in. Yeah, so close only... Is it the horseshoe game where you throw horseshoes at the pegs? Oh, I see.

That's what that is. Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. I think that's how it works. Right, right, okay. I've never heard the words only fools and horses in that order in my life,

so I've been finding it very discomforting these past several years and I've finally had enough. I've just tried Googling it without success. Help me, Luke and Pete show. You're my only hope.

Justin. Are you kind of like, were you a kind of fan of, I've just typed in only into Google. It's just only fans. Wasn't only frozen horses only fans?

Only fans and horses. That'd definitely be a thing, wouldn't it? Oh lordy. Yeah, I'm thinking it must be like the lyrics only fools and horses work is is the actual full bit in the in the music so it's like you're a fool if you work and horses also work so they're like horses work

fools work you shouldn't work you should be a kind of like man about town selling bits and bobs yeah i'm sure i've heard it as a phrase only fools and horses and and that was i mean that was the meaning that i asked him from it that it was some like who does that are only fools and horses yeah yeah that kind of thing would put them through through that kind of graph that kind of i think it's it's almost like meaningless graft it's yeah like yeah graft. It's like wasted effort. Why not be a wheeler dealer like a girl boy? Yes, exactly. I think that's the premise.

But obviously, would it be okay for me to reveal on the podcast that your partner is American? Are there shows that she's just like, what the hell is this crap? You know, weirdly not, because her mum is from scotland so she grew up with british comedy i see right so she has a lot of references that when we first met i didn't realize um but i don't think she's seen owning falls and horses but she's but she'd be more aware of it than other americans right okay i see but it's funny because she there are some new American shows. I'm a big fan of It's Only Sunny in Philadelphia.

And she's from Philadelphia, wasn't really aware of the show. Right. Watches it and finds bits of it funny, but the rest of it kind of goes over her head. Whereas, for example, the, let's say the office, the UK office, she watches, thinks it's funny, but she, she cringes massively. So,

but she gets that sense of humour. She just finds it really cringe-worthy. And can't, has to watch it between, you know, the hands and the face. As I get older,

I can't stand cringey stuff. Like, I'm comfortable with the office and the stuff I only watch, but like stuff like Nathan For You. Have you seen that? Yeah. It's Nathan, it's Nathan Field. I can't remember his name now, but like stuff like Nathan For You. Have you seen that?

It's Nathan Field. I can't remember his name now, but he goes out and he just does crazy stuff and sort of embarrasses himself and everyone around him. And I just can't watch the cringe anymore. It really sort of hurts me. But then I can watch Eric Andre because it's stupid. So I don't know.

It's just certain kind of like slightly more highbrow cringe i can't watch but i can watch a man just fucking spilling fruit loops all over the tube yeah i think it's that thing of i was kind of the same because i used to watch balls of steel and think bits of that were funny and then you know i remember i can't remember why but i was i think i was looking for a sketch on there and i started watching a few clips of it on YouTube and I thought basically you realize it's just punching down yes yeah and that I was a bit like oh this is actually a bit rubbish I didn't mind Alex who does a short um uh who hosts uh class of the titles and it was actually he was the quiz master on one of the sketches on balls of steel and uh and I didn't mind that because people who go on quizzes who think

they're really good at quizzes get way too upset about it anyway so I'm just I didn't mind that because people who go on quizzes who think they're really good at quizzes get way too upset about it anyway so I'm just saying I don't mind that that's punching upwards for me yeah actually I do remember a couple of those

and those were good but there was some where it was like teaching teaching foreigners English they just gave them to say offensive phrases in English and they wouldn't know it

and I was like that's not right yeah I wonder if it's because you can differentiate that kind of cringe factor and know who the subject is and what the outcome

is meant to be that yeah sometimes it's just too much I got an email from this will probably round us out I reckon because it's a good one

Matt in London we got an email from him saying afternoon gents following Monday's email about the dad who took a golf ball to the face, I wanted

to share my own dad's sporting behaviour story. The scene is an under-15 Sunday league match. The pitch was predictably sodden after an overnight downpour. My dad is not a football fan, but owing to the fact that he has a seven-seater Jeep, he used to volunteer to drive myself and a bunch of the other lads to away games.

The game was in full flow and my dad, as was the norm, was at the sidelines with the other parents, to away games. The game was in full flow and my dad, as was the norm, was at the sidelines with the other parents sipping from a flask of coffee and working his way through a pack of cigarettes. Sounds like a cool dad. The ball deflected out of play towards the sideline closer to the parents, with my dad being closer to where the ball would eventually end up.

My dad tries to knock the ball back into play with a big old left peg swing, having never played football in his life. His standing leg gave way, he missed the ball completely, he stumbled backwards and he fell over the pitch side railings into a rather large puddle

caused by the previous nice downpour. Cue every single player, parent and the ref breaking out into absolute hysterics. My dad, dripping wet and embarrassed, didn't say a single word and marched back to the car park and got into the car. Oh no.

Oh dear. Without a change of clothes, he decided to whack up the heating to dry off. With it a cold winter's day the combination of the heat and the condensation from the damp clothes caused the car to steam up almost immediately cue my dad repeatedly beating the horn in frustration for a good few minutes the game ended soon after and as we dived back into the car it transpired that not only had he spilt his backup coffee flash during his rage burning his legs the rampant steering wheel beating had somehow deployed the airbag. I spent the rest of the afternoon in a freezing mechanics garage

whilst the car was sorted out. We drove him home in complete silence and I nearly passed out trying not to laugh. Keep the good work. All the best, Matt, in London. The impotent rage of a man, anyway, just beating the steering wheel because he spilt his coffee down his legs or whatever, is fantastic. But also after, you know,

the reason he got back to the car himself, like that's a whole different story. Yeah, yeah. Two independently of very funny things. He's mugged himself off three times. Very enjoyable. I find, when you're sort of, I'm learning to drive,

looking down on your steering wheel, it says airbag. I mean, that could go off at any moment. I'm scared of taking an airbag to the face. Yeah, so the Honda Jazz, I think it was a few years ago, was recalled because of an issue with the airbag. Right, okay. And I don't really know anything about cars beyond the one that I drive.

And even then, I feel like I'm discovering new things about that. I don't really know anything about cars beyond the one that I drive. And even then, I feel like I'm discovering new things about that. But, you know, I told my partner and I was like, oh, as if it was like a novelty thing. Oh, look, it's been recalled. And she was like, that's deadly serious. That goes off when you're on the motorway. Yeah, you're an idiot. Yeah.

You drive a lot for work. Are you mad? Stop being an idiot about this. Stop waving in my face and go and get it done. It's all right. I've had nine coffees like that. But the, yes. So like I, it was only then that it dawned on me,

like I suppose the power, not just in front of me, but facing me. Yeah. It is aimed in my direction. Yeah. I'm just, I'm just scared it might just go too big. What if it goes too big and takes my head off? Because quite a lot of injuries in accidents

where the airbag goes off has been because of the impact on the airbag itself. Right. Oh, is that true? Or is that one of those things where it's like

the seatbelts, they save more, they end more lives than they save, et cetera, et cetera. I want to be thrown clear of the car. That was genuinely an argument when they came in.

Yeah, that's true. Although Caroline Cercado Perez's book, Invisible Women, which talks about how I suppose a lot of modern life is geared towards men right down to health and safety. Yes. So for example, crash test dummies are built as men rather than women. So the seatbelts and the airbags don't really kind of work for them as well? Yeah.

It's quite dangerous. Yeah, so I think it's a seatbelt thing, which is the disparity between average heights and stuff like that. But I think it's more due to the fact that if you were to headbutt your steering wheel, it would hurt a lot more than if you were to headbutt an airbag.

So it's almost that kind of... Bit of a trade-off. You're always going to be hurt by it. It's not ideal, is it? It's not suboptimal, having a car crash. But you kind of like, you forget or even aren't aware of, not you yourself, but like anyone, like how, what things have been tested on.

You know, there's some kind of like deviation, kind of like very specific kind of issue for some people using certain technologies. And you'd go down to like even women's clothing. Like they don't have pockets, like frequently. Because I occasionally wear my partner's robe and it's too short and it doesn't have pockets. It's like, where do I put my phone?

For crying out loud. And then further than that, you've got like soap dispensers that don't work on dark skin and you're like because it's always been tested on people either from the from the far east or white people because that's just always the way that the the technology is tested and it's um it's a real issue like the the blood uh the blood oxygen uh testers the little things you clip on your fingers they're not as great with dark skin because it's literally just, it just fires an infrared light through the skin. So, yeah, it's shite, isn't it?

It's a bit shit. Yeah, I didn't know about the hand dispenser thing, but I remember when my partner was buying jeans in the US, I think it's called Lucky Jeans. That's her go-to for the casual, everyday jeans. jeans in the US. I think it's called Lucky Jeans. That was like where she, that's her go-to for like the casual everyday jeans. And there was a style

called Boyfriend Jeans, which basically meant they were a little bit baggy, but they had pockets. Right. They all had more pockets. Oh, nice. That's why it's usable pockets.

Yeah. And she was like, I love the way that that was just like, oh, you're wearing your boyfriend's jeans because they're fucking practical. That is excruciating.

Yeah. Rubbish. Anyway, what a way to end the show. Fish, thank you so much for joining us today and yesterday. No, Monday. Thanks for all of it. Yeah, I was in one mood on one Monday,

but I'm a different mood today. Exactly. It's nearly the weekend, Fish. Yeah. Let's get a drunk. We'll be back on Monday with Luke and Pete sure I don't

think I'm going to be at the zoo so I think Luke is going to have to be working with someone else again get a capybara in get a capybara in lovely

we'll see you soon thanks Vish this was a stakhanov production and part of the acast creative network