The Luke and Pete Show - Oven Water

Episode Date: July 28, 2025

What foods would you say are acceptable to eat before midday? Unsurprisingly, Pete doesn't discriminate. Not that he can, mind you; his oven is inexplicably full of water so he can't cook anything anyway. Meanwhile, Luke is abusing and being abused when it comes to Lime bikes, and one of the lads has been belligerent to celebrated TV historian Dan Snow, and the other has made himself ill on gherkins. When will this nonsense ever end?Email us at [e-mail] or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Luke and Pete show. Pete Donaldson and Lukey Moore in a room, two rooms in fact, having a chat about things what we've experienced this week. Lukey Moore, what's got really in your gears? Claggy and thick this week. You know what's happened. What's happened? I told you about it earlier. I was the victim of a vicious crime. You were the victim of a vicious cycling crime? Yes, which makes it sound a little bit more trivial, putting the word cycling in there. Well we've both had, were you like filming people on the street like Jeremy Vine? Yeah. Or that man, there's a man who's just always filming people on his bike and shouting at people in London, isn't he?

I actually, the other thing that happened today is, so let me just take a swig of my apple and pear cordial, mate. Oh, what, are you sullying your Nalgene with fruity, fruity tastes? Fruity little bits and bobs in there? Dirty little fruity tastes. Dirty little fruity bits and bobs. I'll wash it out though, I mean, it's fine. You don't have to. Yeah, I told you the line bit, some teenager

stole my line but wrote off on it. Yeah. And because I'm old and infirm, I couldn't stop it. But I've said, I talked about that on Round, Blonde, Cut. If you want to hear that story, go and subscribe to the Football World Patreon. Let's do it on Cut, you'll hear it there. But again, on the, I was actually quite pleased myself on the way home earlier, because I was cycling home from the office via a lunch with Andy Brassill to come find you and do this show. I'll tell you about the lunch with Andy Brassill in a minute, because obviously the lab was on exceptional form as per. But on the way back from there cycling home, I was quite pleased with myself because this

bloke, I was just basically trying to maneuver my way across Shaftesbury Avenue and I was going at a snail's pace on the bike, but literally the only way I could get to where I wanted to go was by cycling around a guy who was crossing the road. Right, okay. And I cannot stress to you enough, I wasn't like one of those Lycra guys who's going 40 mile an hour for a red light. I was just, I was literally maneuvering myself around because you know, to hire a line bike, you need to get it off the pavement at some point. Right? So I was doing that and he just looked at me and he went, it's a green man, you dickhead. Right. As in like, you shouldn't be on your

bike on the crossing. Right? Right. But you know what I said? Yeah. I went in like, you shouldn't be on your bike on the crossing, right? Right. So you know what I said? Yeah. I went fuck off, you fucking nerd. And about 10 people heard. And applauded. And I reckon I come out, for the first time in ages, I've come away from that and I've

looked good. Yeah. Normally I'm just like, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. And I sound like a dick. I'm just like, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck

you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you kind of like stuff. But you can go for nerd. I think nerd is quite... I called my family

WhatsApp group, the last thing I wrote in it was, you're just a lot of fucking nerds. Yeah. I can't imagine how objectionable you are on that family group. I know objectionable you are generally. On a family group which is just punctuated by endless contempt anyway. They have to love me. Yeah, they've got no choice. You can't choose your family. Apparently my niece is quite good at the times table and everyone was talking about how they learnt the times table rorts, like as in is this some kind of system that I'm unaware of? Like what is the way of learning the times table in a way that I was never taught? So

they were all sort of talking about how good they were at the Times Table. I got bored of it all. I had a wordle to complete because my interests in things that were in different places at that time, I called them all a fucking load of nerds and they left the group. Did you leave the group? I didn't leave the group. I left the, I'll close my phone. Less dramatic, less impressive. Orton Wurdle. If you had had the stones to leave the group, that'd have been good. Can I just say also, I have no problem with actual nerds. My wife's a self

avowed nerd and very proud of it. And I think nerd culture is great. And most people who are nerds are lovely. What's interesting nerds and people who watch history documentaries? Well, I haven't heard of them. My wife said that to me one of the first times she met me. She said, I've worked out that you're also a nerd, but just about things that people think are cool like football and music. Right. Exactly the same mentality.

I don't think, but do you not think that everyone is a nerd really? If you have any interests. If you're quite a beige person who has no interest in anything. I've just called him a nerd because it felt right at the time. Yeah. Like a glove. Very enjoyable. And he did look a bit nerdy and he was kind of quite angry and went a bit red when I said

it. I, it's hard sort of coming up with something like that on the fly and I'm glad you... I told you, nine times out of ten I'll fudge it. Fucking bird. Yeah, you fucking... Fucking bird. Nurb. Big burp. But you know when I was victim of the lime bite crime, the lime crime, the other night,

if I had my time again, I'd like to have been, I know this is probably going to win me no friends and do no favours for my reputation, but I've decided that if I had my time again, I would like to have been physical with the guy and grabbed him and thrown him. Yeah like I'll try to try to unlock him with your phone. That would have been good. Try to push him on the floor until he opens. Yeah try and pull out his kickstand. I was bigger than him and I reckon I could have taken him but I just made the calculation at the time like it's just a line bike I'm just gonna cancel and get another one. Doesn't matter. Yeah well I am the line bike I tried to park in a place you're not allowed to park on the, not the line bike, the Human Forest app, which I'm a big fan of, but they don't seem to have the same rules. They've not done their doggies in N4 or wherever the hell I was at Canambri Station. They didn't do their doggies and they didn't fill out the right paperwork, so it means that all

of the line bikes are allowed to stay around Cananbury station, litter and other place, but forests have to stay over the road in a specially designated little area which is absolute piss-tick. But I tried to park where I'm not allowed to park because that's where I picked up the bike which was very confusing for me, tried to stop there and they said no you can't stop there you got to find somewhere else. I went okay I'll go over the road. The bike just stopped, wouldn't let me move move wouldn't let me move and I was like I was like well I can't stop it I can't stop the ride so I just didn't stop the party. Can't stop the party so I clicked through a few options on the thing while I was on my train and just

it said um we refunded the charge of 129 return the six free minutes lost six minutes I mean it it's it's sort of the thing that annoys me is it's kind of like they they say sorry about all that is the money back the future rides you recommend giving the bike a quick check before unlocking the unlocking wasn't the problem it did it did unlock I wrote I wrote to our need to be I just couldn't stop the ride so that's mr. forest from Forest. It's patronising the view that is. It is. I didn't enjoy that at all. Yeah.

I can believe it. Up there. Yeah. I wish that when that guy stole mine, I could have locked it and it was just locked up as he was riding it and he got over the handlebars. Yeah. And went like in slow motion. Like when that man does. And like it's a cartoon, like he was like treading water in the midair and just fell. Yeah or straight through a plexus window like standby me video where that motorcyclist goes

through. Yeah I would like him to have had fairly superficial injuries. A light smattering of glass. Yeah. Yeah like a couple of cuts. Yeah. Yeah. Like a couple of cuts. Nothing long term. Nothing. The guy was probably about 14.

So I don't want him to... A three week disfigurement? Disfigurement's too strong. Would you like, would you want his hair to be matted in blood? Yes actually. Yeah, yeah. I was... His leg, his fibula to be sticking out the skin.

Yeah. But then pop back in by a... By me? By you. I'll then pop back in by a passerby. By me? I'll pop it back in and go, there you go mate. There you go mate. Go easy. Take it easy. Go easy. Go easy there. I found your kickstand. Just get on the bike and casually cycle off on it.

Yeah. Speaking of a broken glass, I had a trouble with, I had a trouble. I went to reinstall an oven about a quarter of an hour ago and just dropped it in front and smashed it. You're hurrying me up for this record and while you're doing that you're trying to fix an oven? No, the oven's been broken for a few days and the oven has been broken because I finally got to inspect it yesterday, full of water, just absolutely full. What the hell?

Every time we turned it on it would just burst the old fuse box. So I was like that's not right. Get a bigger boy in. Well, I mean all the bigger boys are going to say is your oven's full of water mate. All the electrics are getting splashed. How does this even happen? How does this even happen? How does this even happen? Because the man who owned the house before us

does not have to seal a fucking worktop. So that's why. So the water was just dripping into it over the fucking ages by the looks of things. So much water, so much history in that oven. You've been using the oven. I suppose you just eat takeaways, right? No, we've been using it,

but I think the water had got to such a level it had gone over some components that shot it out. So your last oven in your last place was a cupboard? Uh yes, yeah, well I didn't use it as much. If it had water in it, who knows? Who knows? I opened that oven, it had I think three plates in it, a chopping board and a mug and it hadn't been used for a long time. Correct, yeah. I'm just, but I basically went to reinstall this oven and the front glass just smashed. And can I get a replacement for this fucking oven glass?

No, so I've got to get another oven. Yeah, it's an expensive business. You have to get someone to fit it as well. You can't do, is it gas? No, it's just like, I fitted one in the first place, but it's just- Troubling. You think, hang on a minute, you said that the first place, but it's just... Troubling. You said that the guy before it fitted it.

No, we got two components. The gas hob that he didn't seal properly was getting water. When it was getting washed or a tinkling from the sink next door, it was falling down into the cavity of the oven. When I had to replace our toilet some time ago, the guy who lived there before had... Do you want to have a go? Say again? Do you want to have a go?

No, thank you. The guy who'd fitted the old toilet had evened it out by propping it up on a pair of wire clippers and just sealing over the top of it. Right. What the actual balance of the toilet itself, it just sort of... but isn't it like, isn't just common, isn't just a shim? You just use shims, don't you? Plastic shims to balance that up. He didn't. He used... he used some clippers. A pair of wire clippers. A pair of... free wire clippers? What a lovely surprise, like a kinder egg. Yeah, they were fucked. There's thousands of people. All the plastic handle bit had rotted off them

and stuff and they were very rusty. Oh my God. By the way, speaking of manual labour, the scaffolding's come down outside our house now. Oh, the pointing is finished, the pointing sisters. Well, the pointing's been finished for some time, but obviously the scaffolding company, the scaffolding company's obviously separate to the repointer. Now the repointer was awful, but it's not my responsibility. It's the

freeholder. So I have no say in it. The job he's done is broadly fine, but he was, I told you, he pressure washed his name into the front wall. The scaffolding is done by- What a strange choice. I know. I told you, also the Wi-Fi I have access to just tore a strip off him in the street one Tuesday morning and he got really upset. And just pressure washed over it. I felt like saying to him, I'm married to my wife, I know what it's like, she's going to completely emasculate you and tear a strip off you, you've spoken to her a few times,

she's much fiercer than you. Right? Why have you done that? It's one of those things where it's so confusing. You don't know what the most, the correct reaction to that is. Do you know what I mean? Like you don't like, I remember I was in a bar with a partner. I won't say which partner it was, but Just say. Just say. Was it Andy Brasall?

My current partner! And this man was going around with a tutti... like a sort of vuvuzela sort of thing, a short vuvuzela. Oh yeah, this man was it? This man! Yeah. He was going around with a vuvuzela. You're telling me this story and you're the only person I know who's willingly bought

a vuvuzela and I've blown it in my face. So I'm excusing to believe it's you. Very good point, no it wasn't me, we were at some kind of, we were in like a sort of Soho bar that had a load of, that had a Chaz and Dave um, um, trick or tag. Were you in his ear going, no I'll get a kiss or go? Kiss or go? No he went, and he pointed at um, a partner's, boobies and went, and it was such a confusing thing to do I wasn't sure whether to remonstrate with him so I gave it ten minutes and then

remonstrated it with him right you were scared no I wasn't scared there was three of them so I'm a big brave boy but it was just so confusing it was like is that bad so confusing I don't know what this is I don't know what this is in essence yeah it's a bit weird but I wasn't it's's a, yeah it felt, you know what, I'll give that 10 minutes and then I'll talk to him. What did you say? I'll give him a soft shove. Did you really? Yeah I did, it's pathetic. What did he do? He's 10 minutes past, he probably can't even remember what he's done. He's got a bit of a visage on, lovely old time. But it's just, it was so confusing and I feel like it's the same thing if someone pressure watched the front of my house, I'd be like, I don't know how, I don't

know how to do this to be honest. I don't know where, is this offensive? I don't know. It's so weird. I can't be intimidating because I'm too talkative. I never stopped talking and it loses all its power. So if I had said anything to him, I just got on and on and on and it would have lost its impact. Whereas the wifi I have access to just went out there. I think I told you at the time, I just went, I don't know why you've done that. It looks ridiculous.

I don't appreciate it. Get rid of it. I just walked off. And he was like mumbling after it. Oh yeah, I'm sorry. I just, yeah, yeah. Like that. I wanted to hear his reasoning.

I want to know why he did it. Have you got his email address? He thinks he's Banksy. He thinks he's Banksy. He thinks he's Banksy. Yeah. But anyway, so the scaffolders at the scaffolding up, but they're obviously a separate company to the building company that hired the repoynter. So the contribution that I can see the scaffolders have made is they've put the scaffolding up, fair enough, did it quite quickly, no issues with that. They then spent every single day telling the

repoints that he better hurry up and finish the work because they need the scaffolding back. So he was under immense pressure, which as we've already found out, probably led him to make some confusing choices. Pressure washing. Yeah. And then he finished the work and then they didn't take the scaffolding down for about five weeks. Again, very confusing. I don't understand the imaginations of this. Start putting stuff out there.

Extra bit of house. Extra house. Extra bit of house, free house. Speaking of that, it's like a big yellow storage company, but outside. Have you seen that? There's no way you would have seen this, but I just watched it because I was, served up on the iPlayer algorithm. And there's this show on there called Brickies. Have you seen it?

I've not seen it now. It's essentially about life on the building site with four or five bricklayers and bricklayers apprentices. It's done like almost like a reality TV show in quite a clever, quite an interesting way because they'll intersperse it with the individual bricklayers and their apprentices kind of TikTok accounts and their Instagram posts. And they just, it's like an immersive,

it's quite well done. And it's about their interactions with the foreman and what it takes to be a bricklayer. And it's actually quite interesting because there's some female bricklayers involved, there's some non-white people involved. It's just quite interesting. They're all on the same building site.

And I didn't realise this, I don't know if you realised it. In this case, I don't know if it's the case across the board, but in this case, they get paid per brick. Oh, right. So there's no kind of salary involved. I think they get paid per brick. Oh, right. Okay. Yes, I think I do. There's no kind of salary involved. I think they get paid something like 70, I want to say 75 P a brick. Yeah. Okay.

To get it down. Yeah. And then they have to get it signed off by the foreman before they kick it. Cause obviously I can't just chuck them up there. And so, so sometimes in the show, the foreman will come down at the end of the day and be like, that's not good enough and take like 50 bricks down. And then they get paid. Right.

I see that makes that seems like a... It looks like hard work. And also like the whole kind of foreman, bricklayer and apprentice sort of relationship. The apprentice. Who's got, if you're like working to get something up, like who's got time to teach someone on the job? Do you know what I mean? I think they go to college.

Right, okay. They do like one day of college. Oh,, okay. They do a little bit of- So they do like one day of college. Oh, so this is just like a little bit of work experience. So, you know. I think it's just the apprenticeship time. Come on, monster energy drink. Have a smoke, lovely.

Yeah, it's vaping now, innit? Are you letting it vape on the job? Yeah, they put a vape in every little hole in the brick. Like a dead drop. Yeah, it's a vape house. Are you smoking that wall? No.

Just a big, a massive bong. A vape bong in the brick wall. You know what, I'm gonna start a punk bricky company. For like real punk rockers. Brick dog. And inside every wall, instead of like cement, there's gonna be like... fucking... Call it brick dog.

Brick dog. I'm also gonna to sell ovens. Just a punk oven shop. Not a great parameter on that front. How much of the blame do you take for the oven as a percentage? I'm going to call it naughty curries. Ooh, naughty curries. Instead of like the prices and the tags is going to be like graffiti, like 200 quid. Sounds really cool mate. Open up the oven, metal trays, no. A garden, no, I'm pulling his pants down. Oh, is that stuff him wearing jeans? Yes he is. Yes he is. He works for naughty curries. Some of the graffiti is two policemen kissing, but they're ladies.

Hahaha, wow. What percentage of the oven issue is your fault? graffiti is two policemen kissing but they're ladies. Ha ha ha ha ha! Whoa! What percentage of the oven issue is your fault? Well the reason why it's out of the wall is not my fault is it? It's full of water. That's not weird. It's practically, it's a broiler isn't it? You can only make bake isn't it? It's a bad Marie. It's a big hot broiler. Oh, you love the bear so much. You've, um, you've turned your heart into a broiler.

Can't stop, can't stop watching that. Cannot stop watching. Let's have a break Peter, so I can watch the final episode of the bear. Let's have a rolling broil. We're back with the, uh, look a beach shore for a, whatever day it is. Monday, isn't it? Is it is. Is it Monday? Is it Monday? Is it Monday?

Good, good, good, good. Glad to hear that. How's your food poisoning going? It's all right. I've been really, really sensible. Can I tell the listeners what actually happened? Just shout everywhere. Just constantly shitting.

No, I know that. Can I tell the listeners why it happened? Well, unless you've lived in my stomach, you'll never know. You made up a story that you got food poisoning and you I think I did get food poisoning because I was literally shitting in the oven. It's not food, but it's obviously food poison. Well, let me just tell you my take. Okay. And then you can do your take.

Right. It's equal opportunity when it comes to your irritable bowel. I'm a policeman. You, yeah, you, um, you messaged on Sunday night saying you might not be coming to work on Monday because you've got the two bob bits, right? And it's food poisoning. But what also happened was a number of hours prior to that, in the morning on the Sunday, you sent me a photo of you eating a whole jar of pickled gherkins in a car park. In a car park.

In a car park, yeah. Could those two things be related? Me and my daughter eating a cash and carry sized jar of gherkins. It was all, I think it was all the on the way and I was hungry and I thought, you know what, I'll have a couple of gherkins. And one and two gherkins turns into three and four gherkins, didn't it? And then you've just eaten a couple of gherkins and one and two gherkins turns into three and four gherkins didn't it and then you've just eaten a lot of gherkins but yeah it wasn't it wasn't ideal and it's give me the and and that evening I that evening I had to go to a wedding like a wedding sort of night do

oh really and I made it and I was wearing yeah well yeah I got there yeah I was wearing cream trousers on a day that I had the two bob bits or whatever you called it, which is yeah absolutely idiotic, I don't know what I was thinking of but I survived it, lived to tell another tale but I have been eating sensibly ever since. Have you? What did you have today? Not something from the oven, I'll give you that. Yeah exactly. Did you eat anything in the office though?

I saw you earlier, were you eating in the office earlier? I was. Oh, you had a smoked salmon sandwich at about 9am? Correct, I was having a smoked salmon sandwich at 9am. Can I just give you a short list of foods that shouldn't be eaten before midday? Right, if you're going to have a go at the people who live in like Sweden, saying you can't eat fish before whatever time. They've got their own customs, that's none of my business. There's certain types of foods.

Smoked salmon is a quintessential breakfast dish. Smoked salmon is, but I don't think the sandwiches should be eaten before midday. No, not in the configure. Unless they've got bacon in them. If they're open, they've got bacon in them and a little bit of Hollandaise sauce. You're absolutely fine. Look at us foodies having a chat. And can I just give you a few others? Chocolate shouldn't be eaten before midday.

A ganache. How are you getting a ganache in before midday? If it was there the night before and you had your eye on it. Stop saying the night before. you had your eye on it. Stop saying the night before! Everything you eat in the morning is somehow related to the night before and that's why you've got the fucking stomach of a 90 year old fucking someone. Chocolate, ganache, ganache, yeah.

You stop eating food from the night before. Gherkins, the gherkins I ate were probably from a yerba before, because they've been pickled haven't they? I'm scared of that jar now, it's a big jar and there's so many more pickles left. Oh I thought you were supposed to eat them all. No, I've only eaten a few. My daughter didn't really. Okay, so fizzy drinks shouldn't be eaten before midday.

Drunk before midday. Monster energy drink to get you... No way! Get you...popping. Is that fizzy? Is monster energy drink fizzy? Oh yeah, violently so. Makes sense.

A lot of them are, yeah. The mango locos are smooth, I think. Beer before midday? What, a beer before midday? Well, it's the airport conundrum, isn't it, really? If you're in the airport, all bets are off. Yeah, all bets are off. It's like if you've got a wedding. But even at a wedding, I'm probably going for, even one of those weddings where they do it at midday and it goes on till midnight. I'm still, if I'm getting there from 11, I probably don't want a beer.

I'll probably have a sparkling wine. Yeah. Well, I mean, Prosecco is the thing to have, I suppose. But I would say that with, when you go to, when I went to a wedding recently, I got in and it was just, um, Prosecco, um, Bux Fizz, orange juice, half a pint of beer. It was just sort of already laid out. All loads of half pints of beer, which is the lovely, lovely touch. Where was the wedding?

Um, it was somewhere in Essex, somewhere not that far away. If the cap fits. If the cap fits. If the cap fits. So you're happy with chocolate before midday, you're happy with anything before, you're not putting a midday cut off on anything. Yeah, chocolate for midday is a difficult one, but if you're having a cup of tea, you may as well indulge. Chips. Oh, chips before midday. Those, not freedom fries, home fries, they're kind of chips, aren't they? They're chippy.

Home fries are, I think home fries are quite literally accepted as a breakfast item. I mean, I guess effectively they are chips, but they're not really are they? Pomfretes, you know the pomfretes. That's just a French way of saying fried potatoes, isn't it? Yeah, it's fancy. You need anything at breakfast if you're French. Listen, we can't be opening the can of worms with what the French eat. I mean, that's ridiculous. They're near can of worms, I believe. I'd love to hear from our listeners about what is acceptable to eat before midday and what isn't.

We've got a system in place here in the UK and I suggest we stick to it. Right, before we do anything else, let's bring an email into proceedings, shall we? Mm, okay. Lovely. What about this from Thomas who says, hello, Luke and Pete, until very recently, on your show, actually, I've never heard of the strange idea of splitting the G in your point of Guinness. Yes. Okay. Despite the two of you somehow making this conversation relatively interesting, disagree, I was happy enough when you moved on to the next topic and it was forgotten until later

that same day. Now as a British expat currently spending some time in Spain, I had to make, they have to call themselves expats. They can't call myself immigrants, can they? No, that has to be expats. Yeah. You're an immigrant. I had to make a journey to the capital of Madrid to sort out some visa issues. I'm deciding to soak up some of the culture. I walked straight into the first Irish bar I could and bought a pint. Fairly routine behavior. That's fine. Yeah. With absolutely no memory of your conversation, I sat down with my gears and took a drink. A few moments later, I realized that I completely accidentally split the G perfectly. Oh, I now love the idea of it and I'll mention it to everyone I meet. Thanks, Luke and Pete. And he's got a photo of it as well. It's stuck a photo in there where, I mean,

I mean, we have to take his word for it because we have no idea how many sips it took him in reality to split the G, but he has done it. That's a good point actually, yeah. Accidentally. The last time, here's a little flex for you, do you want to hear a terrible name drop? Right, okay, yeah, cool. The last time I attempted to split the G was at a Christmas party with the celebrated television... Darryl Gutter. No, come on.

Split the G? Don't try and think of famous G's and that's the only one I can think of. Don't ruin the story one I could think of. Don't ruin the story, it's already shit. The last time I tried to split a G was at a Christmas party with celebrated TV historian Dan Snow. Okay, yeah, nice. He was nice.

Yeah, and did you, what, so did he see you do it? Did he look at you and- I didn't succeed. You've made history there, son. He and I attempted it with a couple other people. I don't think from memory any of us succeeded. I then bored onto him about how I didn't buy that he was such an expert in so many different parts of history. He was like, oh yeah, fine. I then bludgeoned in

with my conversation until he finally admitted that actually he was only really an expert in Napoleonic era history and everything else was kind of secondary and I felt like that was a win for me. Yeah. I mean, that seems like unnecessarily... It was quite aggressive. ...in your face. Yeah, it was totally unnecessary, yeah. I think I was on a high because I'd recently finished my master's, so I think I was on a bit of a high about it.

Did he not feel like turning the tables on you? Where's your Napoleonic knowledge, big man? It would have been like an elephant going out of its way to stamp on an ant. But my point was just that. I was being obnoxious and I accept that. And Dan Snow will, if he does remember me at all, which I doubt will not remember me fondly. But the way I see it, Pete, is like this.

If you're, say, a lawyer, another high ranking academic profession, you're not a lawyer who does everything. You just do a little bit of something. You do a bit of criminal defense or I'm in property or I do contract law. You don't do all of it. And if you're a doctor, you specialize in, you know, orthopedics or heart surgery, whatever it's meant. I don't buy that you could do all of it because it's too much.

But did you sort of, did he definitely, has he definitely said that he knows everything about everything or are you just kind of... That's the point I was making to Snow. He stuck his head over the parapet and you're trying to stamp it down. It works sometimes. It's a literal parapet because he's talking about World War One. I said to him, Snow, you have to admit that every time I go on Instagram and see you, and I do follow your history here, I enjoyed

it, I enjoyed the output, you're talking about the Mongols one week and then it's First World War and then it's- You can't be an expert on this or all of that, can you? No. Shut up about the Mongols. He didn't want to accept it or concede it because he had turned up with two or three attractive women that I think he was trying to impress. Right. But um... From the past?

Did they have, did they have like, had they coloured their legs with gravy instead of stockings? No, they were, they were all dressed like they were in the Elizabethan court. Right, okay, good stuff. My kind of girls, he said. This is not meant to be... Closet acting. I'm not trying to be... Yeah, it's weird because they were all dressed up in the Elizabethan court, but he was dressed

like and talking like Al Capone. I was just confusing that. I tell you what, clothes are going to be history. Babies. I don't know how they talk. Yeah. And then he went to the toilet, right? And then he came back and he was dressed like Neil Armstrong. Oh, Snow is it? And he went, I'm just going to go to the bar, and he went to the bar and then when he came back he was dressed like a medieval serving wench. God.

It was just really difficult to pin down. Do you remember the Swedish band Mike Snow? Yeah, I do, yeah. Mike Snow! Why did they put the two I's in there? I'm not really sure. Hateful I do, yeah. Mike Snow! Why did they put the two I's in there? I'm not really sure. Hateful.

Hateful nonsense. I kind of just assumed it was his name. Yeah, I did too. None of them called Mike Snow. One was called Andrew Wyatt, one was called Pontus Vindberg and Christian Carlsen as well. None of them called Mike Snow. Upsetting that. Upsetting.

Why did you bring that up? Because the word Snow. Right! Let's get out of here. Fucking nice rock-bop stuff from you bring that up? Because the word snore. Right, let's get out of here. This has been the Little Pete Show for another whole Monday, we'll be back on Thursday for battery brands and stuff so look after yourselves, don't do anything we wouldn't do which won't mean a hell of a lot. We don't do anything, what are you talking about? Yes true, we don't do anything. We split J in front of an abuse historian.

I wasn't abusing him. I was just... Abusing him. It was on the aggressive side of a comfortable conversation. I felt bad the next day, I'll be fair. I did feel bad about the next day. I thought if I could get hold of him and say sorry, I would, but I can't. Because obviously he's not giving me any contact details, because why would he?

Not after that barrage. Right, we'll see you on Thursday.