The Luke and Pete Show - Paved with chocolate

Episode Date: April 10, 2023

Easter has been and gone which means only one thing: the streets are now covered in chocolate. According to Pete anyway…Elsewhere, we hear all about a listener fainting while listening to this very show and we receive an anonymous email that has everything we ask for in an email. Luke also admits to getting in trouble with the law while on his Lime bike. Oh dear!Did you see chocolate in the street this Easter? Email: [e-mail] or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.We're also now on Tiktok! Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the Luke and Pete Show. It's Easter Monday. If you've got chocolate covered all over your chops and on your hands and on the eiderdown and on the wall, I'm glad you had a good one. I'm glad you had a good one. But for those of us who don't eat as many Easter eggs as they should, yeah, welcome to the Luke and Pete show.

It's Pete Donaldson here. Luke is joining me. Did I speak about this before? But, like, the chemical makeup of Easter egg chocolate is different to normal chocolate because it has to hold a different shape. It has to hold a different shape, so it has to be worse off for you.

Like, it has to be more different shape so it has to be worse off for you like it's it has to be more sugary perhaps or something oh so it does actually taste different then it tastes different because the actual makeup of it is different because it has to hold an eggy shape and it has to have more calorific content so that's why um easter egg pound for pound is worse for you than um normal chocolate it's so interesting you say that. A friend of mine got in touch the other day to say that it's the best time of year for the chocolate lover because he worked out that if you go and buy Easter eggs,

which of course regularly come with chocolate bars included, generally speaking, he worked out, this is the kind of thing my friends and I talk about on WhatsApp he said look here's four eggs I bought from the supermarket right it's a Yorkie one sorry it's a Rolo one, a Toffee Crisp one, a Lion and

a Yorkie right and he said it was £10 for four eggs right and you get an additional eight chocolate bars in that so if you work out the price per kilo of the chocolate you're getting it works out under half price that's amazing that's awesome it's an absolute bargain time for chocolate lovers yeah you might as well stock up on it actually because the the sale by used by dates best before dates will be quite long as well

are they not sort of aggressive around about Easter time? Maybe. They might be. Yeah. And also, if your family are kind of relaxed about that kind of thing, it's always worth going

and buying them Easter eggs a week later. Yeah. Because they're even cheaper then. I keep eyeing it because I've bought my partner one and I've not seen one yet

even though it's the day after Easter Sunday. And there is a dog Easter egg that I keep eyeing up. Well, you keep telling our listeners that there's chocolate all over the street over Easter. Honestly, there will be chocolate all over the street this Easter, and I will take some pictures, and you'll see, for once and for all, there's Easter. This is like that cream egg, and you embarrass yourself around Cadbury's cream eggs.

What do you mean? I told you, I've you embarrass yourself around Cadbury's cream eggs. What do you mean? I told you. I've revealed to you that Cadbury's cream eggs are only available between Christmas and Easter and you went mental. I still don't believe that. Well, you actually went to like a really hooky corner shop in Soho in about June

and went, look, there's cream eggs here. Exactly. Yeah, I don't think they were. They were probably long after their sell-by date. My partner on our first kind of little date, she expressed that a that lilt doesn't exist anymore. And I ran outside and got a kind of lilt within 30 seconds of us being in the pub, which and I've maintained that level of pettiness. That is an incredible story to admit. Yeah, it's awful, isn't it? On the first date. I know.

Well, it wasn't a... Why did you do that? I was just having a drink. Because I thought it was funny. Because I was like... Not many people are 30 seconds wrong, are they? Not many people... You can sort of go,

Lilts doesn't exist anymore. It hasn't existed since the 90s. And they can be proved wrong in 30 seconds I just think it's you know you really are a character the best

you often go when we're in the pub you often won't sit still you often leave and come back with things you've bought yeah I think the last one was

peanut punch and some I don't know a hat or something I don't know it a hat or something. It was a lot of weird glitter masks. Yeah. I just like the kind of, the fraff that the Commoner Garden off-license will sell. And they'll get it in and the bloke from Cash and Carrie will go,

right, here's your bottles of Baileys. Would you like some toilet duck? Would you like some mysterious masks? And they go, yeah I mean I mean I'm not paying for the mysterious masks because that's a mental thing to ask of me I'm never going to sell you them until Pete Donaldson walks in half cut did um by the way I forgot to ask you on on Thursday show when you're in California did anyone mistake you for a boogaloo boy with your hair and your mustache and stuff a boogaloo boy what do you and your moustache and stuff? A Boogaloo boy? What do you mean, like a fascist? Proud Boys.

A Proud Boy, right, okay. I think Boogaloo boys are like Proud Boys, but they wear Hawaiian shirts. Right, okay, yeah. Not really. I didn't sort of get into the weeds on that one. I was mainly in Ubers, to be honest, so protected from everyone.

Yeah, because you're too scared to drive your hire car after the incident. And also wrestling fans. There's, you know, the sort of people who spend a lot of time online. They can get radicalised. That's the WrestleMe audience

you're talking about there. No, the WrestleMe audience is lovely and every WrestleMe fan who would walk into WrestleMania and this card just went, I went, WrestleMe Pete, WrestleMe fan who would walk into WrestleMania, this car just went, I went, WrestleMe, Pete, WrestleMe, Mark, from an adjoining car park.

And then he just sped off. That's excellent. It looks like he was a worse driver than I was. When I was cycling into the office the other day, when you were away, actually, I was at a red light on the cycle lane. And so obviously it was time when people were riding into work. So there was about 15 cyclists and I was in the red light on the cycle lane. And so obviously it was like time when people were riding into work. So there's about 15 cyclists

and I was in the middle of it. So imagine like a Peloton basically. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And as a bloke in a suit and a long coat, walking along, headphones in. And you know when people don't know how loud they're speaking because they've got headphones in?

Yeah. He just looked over and just went, Rambo! Right in my face. in yeah he just looked over and just went rebel right in my face and then just carried on walking and I felt like I owed everyone around me an explanation

but I didn't bloody give them one no exactly yeah just sort of go it's a it's a sex thing that would have been better than admitting what it was

and then what I did is when everyone looked at me I looked at them and then really deliberately looked down at my own crotch and then I wet myself. Yeah, just to show them who's boss. You know, it's a power move. It's all about a power move. Did you read that inspirational quote from a bellend

that was being shipped around Instagram? A man has got a job and he makes everyone come to the job interview at 7 o'clock. By 9 o'clock, there's five applicants left. By 3 in the afternoon, everyone's just waiting to have their interview.

I get it, yeah, carry on. Yeah, all that. And then it gets to 5 o'clock, 6 o'clock, and by 7 o'clock, there's only one candidate left and he gets the job. Because, I mean, I love all of this stuff. You're basically hiring the bloke who's got nothing else on.

Who just forgot why he was there. Yeah. For their sleep. Oh, I love it. I absolutely love these bell-ends that make this stuff. People try to make, I like it when they try and make things sound inspirational, but it actually just sounds really odd.

Yeah. There was a guy in our industry, we talked about it, and he's like, I'm sat at my kitchen table at 5am. Yeah. Why are you doing that? It's Jay Comfrey.

Why are you doing that? Why are you doing that? Go back to bed. Why are you doing that? Go back to bed. It's like, my dad's up at 1 o'clock's like, invited up at our office, right?

Yeah. And told everyone, I was up at 5am this morning, doing my affirmations, doing my world-class basics. Like fast forward to about one o'clock, Luke's head down at the desk. Doing your manifests.

Doing your manifests over a weak tea. Lovely old job. Luke's leaning back in his chair, catching flies. I'm absolutely knackered. I was up T. Lovely old job. Yeah, Luke's leaning back in his chair, catching flies. I'm absolutely knackered. I was up at five. Do your manifestations. Yeah, absolutely ridiculous.

Raw. It is ridiculous. Right, Peter, what we did promise our lovely listeners is that we would do, before we do this, we promised that we were going to do emails. We will do emails starting now. But before we do, I do want people, because it's Easter Monday,

to let us know, hello at LukeandPetech.com or at LukeandPetech on the social media, if they did in fact see lots of chocolate in the street this weekend, because that's the claim that you made regarding Easter. And I want to know if it's me who's mad or you.

I suspect it's you but we'd like to find out. Yeah, I mean, kids are just running around with loads of Easter eggs and sometimes they just drop, sometimes they just drop it on the floor.

That's all I'm saying. There just seems to be a lot of chocolate on the floor. We'll see. We'll see. So, first email. It's quite rare for us to do emails before the outbreak

but what the hell. Let's do one and then we'll go to the outbreak break after. This one is from Richie. And I should say that you probably want to listen to this under caution just because of the content. But if you're of a decent quality constitution, you should be fine.

I don't think it's that bad, but I'll just put it out there anyway. Right. Richie says, hello, Luke. Hello, Pete. First time emailer and listener since the inception of your glorious pod the comedic hijinks are a joy to listen to my monday and thursday mornings are made easier with both your dulcet tones filling my headphones i'm just sending this a bit after the fact to let you know your podcast once made me faint in my kitchen a few years ago. I had trepidation in sending this email because I didn't want it to sound accusatory. So rest assured, all is good and people love hearing this story.

It was a normal Thursday morning. I was pouring milk into my bowl of Weetabix when Luke started talking about a former rock star who had done so much cocaine his septum separated from his nose in the toilet. He picked up the septum and said,

that looks like it might be good to snort, and he did. I started to feel sick, spots covered my vision and my hearing went. The next thing I remember I was lying on the floor

listening to Pete laughing. Thanks boys. Richie from County Kildare, Ireland. What a terrible thing to wake up to, me having a little bit of a giggle. Awful. I'm sure many people have had that joy. Yeah, I think so, I think so.

I think that person that did that was, I think it was Brandon Block, the ex-90s DJ. Right, okay, what? He did that where he snorted. I mean, did he think it was like a lump of nonsense rather than... No, I think the story... I mean, I might be getting it mixed up with someone else. If I am, then Richie should forgive me.

But if it's the one I'm thinking of, then he had... I mean, this is in his own autobiography, so it's not even a controversial thing. He definitely claims it happened. He septum fell out of his nose. Yeah. And he thought, if I put that on the windowsill and dry it out a bit

I can cut that up and snort it again that was his first thought I mean there's nothing I mean there'll be nothing that is you know

druggy in that it'll just be the only reason why it's fallen out is because the bloody thing is you know destroyed it's been it's burned it is because the bloody thing has, you know, destroyed,

it's been, it's burned it away effectively. Yeah. You know, it's toxic. Yeah, basically, yeah.

It's not an ideal situation. I don't think anyone's coming out of that very well, are they? No, not ideal. Anyway,

that's one to think about in the break, which we're going to do now. When we come back, there'll be a bit more of this. Oh, I know. It's the Luke Beach Show. We're back with emails. We'll be a bit more of this. Oh, I know. It's the Luke and Pete Show.

We're back with emails. We promised you a torrent. And if you'd like to get in touch and join the torrent, join the collection of emails in our mailbox, our mailbag, check out your email client and just email us on helloatlukeandpeteshow.com. You can DM us on Twitter if you want. Get involved on Instagram or TikTok at LukeandPeteShow. Now, hi guys.

Following on from Monday's chat about white privilege at an airport, I have a story. This is from nobody. It doesn't have a name. Possibly deliberate, possibly not. It was about 2006 and my flatmate decided to take me

to the scene of her boyfriend's car crash in which he had died. Whoa. Yeah. It was about 2006 and my flatmate decided to... You to the scene of her boyfriend's car crash in which he had died. Whoa. Yeah. It was about 2006, and my flatmate decided to... No, you read that right. You read that right. Yeah, okay, right.

Okey-dokey. I had not long before survived a motorbike crash in which I lost my leg. Please don't use phones while driving and remember to stop at junctions. Good God. This has started at 60, hasn't it? Yeah.

In order to see the crash site, we had to walk from the corner of the country road in which the boyfriend had lost control into the field in which the car had ended up in. About two weeks after this visit, I was off to Florida with 10 close friends. We were in the queue to check in and a sniffer dog spent an extra minute around my prosthetic.

When I rolled my trouser leg up, the policeman just said it probably confused her and carried on sniffing the other bags. At this stage, everything was going great. We go to a bar, have a look at Duty Free, and when our flight is called, I go through the metal detector and it kicks off, probably the leg again. Sir, would you consent to a manual pat-down?

I was asked. I sheepishly obliged. And then two men, looking like the hitman video game agent, come to me and say, this way, sir. I then notice two armed cops behind them. We then go down a very bright corridor to a very small dark room. Remove your shoe and your leg, Wanstead says very sternly. Okay, but why, I ask?

Your shirt's flagged up explosive materials. We believe your prosthetic is a bomb. Wow. Wow. Now, in hindsight, the next line that came out of my mouth probably didn't help. If I wanted to blow up a plane,

I'd have my two weeks in Florida and then do it on the way home. Sound logic. Well, if fair do's. Good. Remove your pants, sir, was the reply. My trousers were already half off to remove my fake leg. Then a more senior agent appears from the other side

of what I thought was a mirror. That won't be necessary. Are you a farmer, sir, he asked. Then it all comes together. No, but I was wearing these trainers and a pair of shorts in a wheat field a few weeks ago. It turns out I'd flagged up because of a pesticide or weed killer that is also used in bomb making. My walk onto the plane was then very awkward because I had to walk all the way back to the back with everyone knowing I'd held them up without knowing why.

Cheers. Good stuff. Didn't need to be unnamed.'s a great story um about um well about a situation where you might have explosive materials on your foot they always get caught in it bomb making people um buying loads of um uh loads of stuff from the garden center you always get flagged if you buy too much fertilizer yeah i think it's a story that's got everything yeah it started off very strong it started off very strong i wasn't prepared for the, like the second sentence. No, me neither. It's not an invite that,

that you get asked very often. I don't think though. What do you reckon? I, no, I wouldn't have thought so. Someone said to me, do I want to do that? I might say no.

Yeah. What am I doing it for? If he's saying, it's like a moral support thing where it's like, I really need your help because I'm having a visual where, you know, I'd like to think I'd be a good friend. But if someone just woke up one morning and said,

do you fancy doing this? I'd say, I don't know if I do really, to be honest. But you would do it because you are a people pleaser. A people pleaser. And also, I love it where sites have atrocious accidents. Anyway, Luke, have you got an email? Yes, I have. Here is an email from Darby.

I don't know if I've ever had an email from someone called Darby before. Darby? Would it be Darby or Derby, would you pronounce it? I'd definitely say Darby. I think, isn't there a wrestler called Darby? If it's America, I've heard some of our American cousins say Derby. Oh, well, fine. Look, I'll bow down to you.

You know more Americans than I do. Do you know what it always reminds me of? It always reminds me of the dish you could buy in Wimpy called the Brown Derby. What was the Brown Derby? It sounds really rude, but it's not. Yeah, it sounds like... Do you not remember it?

It sounds like the sequel to Human Caterpillar. Horrible. So it's like a... I don't know. It's like a dessert. It's like a donut with ice cream and chocolate sauce on it. Right. Okay, Good stuff.

Yeah. Anyway, Darby's been in touch, and he says, Hi, friends. Just wanted to weigh in because, like the listener in a recent episode, I'm also going through your entire back catalogue of episodes in between new ones. However, I have a suggestion. Rather than go through in sequential order, I am skipping around the last six years of episodes in random order,

which I feel is a superior technique for a number of reasons. First, I think your unique brand of non-sequitur humor lends itself to an additional pinch of chaos when you jump around, like a Nashville hot chicken covered in hot sauce, whatever that is. Second, it's a fun game to try and guess the year of the episode. What's Pete's love life like? Do they mention the pandemic? When are you most likely to be bringing up Tiffany Amber Tearsome for no reason?

Anyway, love the show. I also haven't got to the start of the batteries yet. At least not that I know of. So how would you know what ones you'd listen to and what ones you hadn't know? I guess the podcast player would tell you that. I mean, you would hope that your phone would retain that information or however you're listening to it what ones you haven't know I guess the podcast player would tell you that I mean you would you would hope that your that your phone would retain that

information or however you're listening to it I um I sent my phone away to get fixed before I went away and it took um it's heavy and I drop it and it's

smashed and I had insurance so I was like hey Donaldson's gonna claim on the big guy and so what phone did you take to the US with you then

I took a backup which is also smashed to buggery as well terrible Donaldson's going to claim on the big eye. So what phone did you take to the US with you then? I took a backup, which has also smashed a buggery as well. Terrible. For fuck's sake. But it's taken a month to return this bloody phone. And it's come back and they've wiped everything. Oh, shit. Oh, no. I never thought they did that.

I thought maybe it was just unfixable. And so they just gave me a new one. But yeah, they've just wiped the whole fucking thing. All me pictures for a year. Oh, rubbish. Did they not give you a warning that might happen yeah but i just i just assumed i knew what i was doing you thought they won't touch that spicy they won't they won't touch that they'll be they'll be drilling that hard drive immediately they won't want that uh that to touch that speaking of that i um i saw an advert Broadband, which annoyed me because it said,

oh, we guarantee you brilliant broadband in every room of your house. And at the time, I didn't have that. And I was like, my house is like a two-bedroom flat. Why am I not getting that? So I called them up and they said, all right, no worries. Yeah, we'll send you a new, more powerful router. And then your Sky Q-Box will act as an extender and the whole thing will be sorted.

I was like, okay, fine. So I did all that. It all came through. It all worked fine. It's great now. It works fine. And I'm very happy with it. Until I got a letter shortly afterwards saying,

we don't seem to have received your old box that you're supposed to send back to us. And I was like, what? So I called them up and they said, oh yeah, you've got to send the old one back. And we told you that. And I said, I don't remember you telling me that at all. So, I mean, I'm not having this.

And they said, no, sir, hold the line. I thought, all right, they're going to waive the fee, which is fucking 50 quid for nothing. And they just played back the call. They played back the call you had? Yeah. Oh, that is fun, fun, fun. And it clearly said her. How did they find it it's so quickly the audio linked to um it's just linked to um the cut my customer number i guess yeah but like how did

they find that piece of the conversation where you went yes i will never forget this well no it wasn't it wasn't even that it was just her very very professionally and detail driven yeah listing the things i had to do immediately me just just going, yeah, yeah, no worries, yeah. I was probably doing something else. I wasn't really paying attention. And then what I'd also done is I'd also missed the return sleeve that comes in the box. Obviously, it's straight in the bin.

They make it so easy for you to do. All you've got to do is put it in the return sleeve, postage paid, and put it in the box. I never fucking did any of it. And that cost me fucking 50 quid. Oh, nuts. That's a nightmare, Luke. You should hear that. in the box and I never fucking did any of it and that cost me fucking 50 quid oh nuts that's a nightmare Luke sure hear that

but it's funny that you had your you know your history red back at you speaking of 50 quid as well one other thing

I wanted to mention that I forgot to tell you is that you know I mentioned earlier I was sort of cycling into work yeah well while you're away

I got a fixed penalty notice for apparently riding through a red light what on your bike yeah how what how did they know it was you how well i'll tell you the story i'm riding down like a really quiet side street okay and it wasn't even rush hour it was like yeah i think it was probably it was a day i was going to the office but i wasn't in for a recording early so it's like i don't know it's like 11 a.m right yeah there's no and it's quite surprising but down the side streets there's no one about and there's a um there's a road obviously and then to the left of it is a cycle

lane and there's a separate set of traffic lights for the cycle lane. And they go, and they're obviously, you've probably seen them, they're lit up, but they're the shape of a bike. Right, yeah. So you know it's for a cycle, right?

And I swear that that bit went green, but the main traffic light was red. Right. So I carried on riding. And then, I mean, I don't want to be rude about, you know, I mean, the Metropolitan Police have had enough bad press without me weighing in but the cycle safety team of the met police which

is basically two absolute dweebs on bikes just powered past me and like pulled me over oh right you went through yes excuse me sir you're aware of the uh red light all this kind of shit right and i was like okay I thought it was green. And then he started to get really odd about it. He was like really moral about it. He was like, he was like, well, you know,

the rules are in place for your own safety, sir. And I was like, no, yeah, I know that, but there's no one around. I thought that part of it was green. I thought it was a filter lane. I thought it was fine. And he was like,

well, you stared right at us before you rode straight through it. I said, yeah, I know I did because I thought it was green. lane like i thought it was fine yeah and he was like well you stared right at us before you rode straight through it i said yeah i know i did because i thought it was green and and he goes um right so um we'll deal with this by way of a fixed penalty notice um but i do have to read you your rights and i was like okay look just fuck it yeah just just give me the give me the fucking i'll give you the money but i'm not having the telling off i can't give me the fine that's and that was so funny you say that because that is the exact reason i want to tell you about it because yeah isn't it interesting how right the laws the laws are there i get it i totally understand it i'm not gonna i'm not

gonna fight it i'm not gonna hire a lawyer i'm not gonna go through the admin process it's a 50 quid fine it's annoying i'll take it on the chin i didn't give him any indication that anything else was gonna happen i was like fine no problem the only thing i did which again he didn't give him any indication that anything else was going to happen I was like fine no problem the only thing I did which again he didn't like is because I was on a line bike and he was chatting to me for like 10 minutes

I caught my phone out and wanted to cancel the ride so I didn't keep getting charged yeah okay and he's like can you put your phone away please sir and I was like what is it a crime

to have my phone out now like I'm just cancelling the line bike. He's gone for his gun, man. Yeah, he's just mad on power, right? And he starts going to me, yeah, the laws are in place for your own safety. I can't believe you didn't see it. And I was like, I just felt like, I didn't say anything, because nothing good's going to come of it.

But I just felt like saying, mate, the law is the law. I don't need you to give me a fucking lesson. I'm 42 years old. I'll take my hit. I'll take it on the chin. You get on with your day. I don't need you to give me a fucking lesson. I'm 42 years old. I'll take my hit. I'll take it on the chin. You get on with your day. I'll get on with my day. Let's not elongate this.

He's writing all this stuff down. It was insane how much admin went on. That's the thing that makes me laugh. Because I saw it quite a lot around the... Oh, I saw the liver king at WrestleMania, by the way. You did? Did you really? Walking.

I was going to get a hot dog and this tiny little man in a big fur coat with two Dobermans I think they were Dobermans just sort of I thought you'd been

wildly discredited now well he's still you know still got that heat still got that burning desire to you know put away the trend put away the

the PEDs to do his caveman fundamentals whatever they're called do his caveman fundamentals and try and do it clean but yeah he was wandering through with an unlit cigar a performative cigar at Wrestlemania and it was just

rather amusing. Did you not speak with him? No people were just like hey liver king whoa that's the liver king, tiny little lad tiny, get on bloody nipples I didn't see his muscles just just uh he's always got his top off no he just had a big fur coat on all right it was quite cold but um anyway uh yeah you saw a lot of that around when around like the the at&t stadium where we were um the um the people would sort of go i can't let you through you haven't got your um your your screenshot of your of your ticket because the people would sort of go, I can't let you through.

You haven't got your screenshot of your ticket because they were on Marksport. And he wouldn't let me through to watch the final match of day one. So I was watching it from the sort of balcony area. And he was going, and so I was like, I can't get hold of him. I'm just going to stand there.

He's going, I'm just doing my job. I'm just doing my job. Go through now, but I'm just doing my job. And I'm going, I sort of felt like you've taken five minutes out of my fucking day these tickets

were very expensive and you're not doing your job because you're letting me through so you're not doing your job and then another one was I going well Mark you've got to smoke

far away from the stadium just to let you know just to let you know you have to smoke over the other like quite far away from the stadium. Just to let you know, just to let you know, you have to smoke over the other, like, quite far away from the stadium.

And it's like, you didn't need just to let you know. They're either the rules or they're not. You know what I mean? The rules are the thing. Just tell me the rules

and I'll... Don't try and be my pal. Yeah. I think it's the same. Some duty freeze. Leave him alone. The disdain I had for the esteemed

Metropolitan Police Officer and member of the cycle safety team, which he had as a sticker on his bike, some duty freeze leave him alone the disdain I had for the the esteemed metropolitan police officer and member of the cycle safety team which he had as a sticker on his bike the disdain I felt mostly I'll be honest

I was quite snobby about it the disdain I felt mostly stemmed from the fact that he was about 55 and was still a police constable on the cycle safety team to me that's not a good police officer

to me that's not a good example of the genre it can't be no well I don't know I mean you know That's not a good police officer. To me, that's not a good example of the genre. It can't be. No. Well, I don't know. I mean, you know, people sort of carry on a bit longer these days, don't they? No, but I just think he... Surely he'd be doing something else by now.

True. If he was good. Maybe he's been busted for being naughty, because the rules do apply to him, it turns out. Yeah. I'm not saying that he was institutionally homophobic sexist or racist like the report

from Baroness Casey suggested but I'm just saying you know it was quite fastidious which I guess really if you're thinking about it it's what you want

from your police officers I guess I broke the rules it's my fault it's my fault I said that to him I said I get it it's my fault

that was a mistake I made a mistake I mean you could have just pulled a wheelie and just fucked off that would have been funny getting tasered i'd already cancelled the line bike so it would have just i just lovely stuff anyway let's get out of here we've done enough for one day um i hope it was a lovely easter we've done enough damage leave it phil it's not's not worth it. Spring's on the way. I noticed actually in my garden earlier

that we've got a lovely cherry tree in our back garden which is actually pride and joy really and the buds are coming out now which means spring is most certainly on the way. Very pleasing.

Bring us in some cherries. It's not ready yet. They won't be ready for a good few months but I will. Bring Petey some cherries in, will you? If you're a good boy

you'll get some cherries. I'll make a pie with it. All right, that's enough. Right, that's enough. Pete's tired. We'll be back on Thursday for Battery Brands. Get your batteries in. Get your emails in.

Say hello, won't you? See you later. Ta-ta. Darby. Would it be Darby or Derby, would you pronounce it? I'd definitely say Darby. I think, isn't there a wrestler called Darby? Right, hang on a second. Meow.

Can I hear a little cat? Let me pick up because Magnus wants his food and he will not shut up until I feed him. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. He doesn't even know what podcasts are, so he's not going to stop. Give me a sec. It's all right, you.

Come on in. It's all right, you. Come on in. Naughty little cat. Yeah, come on. Yeah, I know. I know, I know. Here we go.

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