The Luke and Pete Show - Peter, you dirty boy...

Episode Date: March 28, 2024

Warning: don't mess with hobgoblins, they'll get you fired - as Donny can attest. Elsewhere, Luke discovers in the war against air-cons, babies will lose and Pete explains why Luke is the embodiment of bus driver chic. Plus, the lads are certain that having a beard is against the TFL dress code.Want to get in touch with the show? Email: [e-mail] or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You're the dirtiest boy I know. The dirtiest boy I know in town. I'd like to appeal directly to every single person listening to this saying, you, yes you, are the dirtiest person I know. I'm the dirtiest guy you know. I'm down in the sewer kissing the rats because I'm the dirtiest boy you know. You're a human rat king.

I'm a human rat king. Is that when all of our tails get tied together? Yeah, that's when I met you. Yes. I looked around and your tail was tied to my tail. And I was like, I can't get away from this dirty boy. That's how we started the show. That's how it became Luke and Pete Summer.

Luke, you're dressed impeccably today. You're wearing a T-shirt and a shirt. And the shirt is short-sleeved. It's very much like, it's bus driver chic is what it is. You want to see it?

Yeah, it's lovely. Great. What you need is some really visible arm tattoos to be a bus driver. It is bus driver chic and I'm actually very happy with that. Although I believe

that religious reasons aside, I believe that bus drivers seem like they have to be clean shaven. What? You're not allowed a beard? I've seen people... Think of a bus driver.

Yeah. Imagine one in your mind, definitely tattoos on the forearms. Yeah. In your mind, do they have a beard? They don't.

Ah, yeah. I think it's because I think they're more moustachemen. I think they'd be more in your mind do they have a beard they don't erm ah yeah I think it's because like I think they're more moustachemen I think they'd be more because they're all ex-army

that's where they got their tattoos possibly prison erm and they are yeah they're sort of they're

they have HGV licences because they got it in the army is that what you need I think so I think so. I think you've got to have a pretty severe license to get yourself a bus.

You do, but I wondered if there was a specific. So I've just looked it up now, Peter. There's actually a specific. It's called a passenger carrying vehicle. I see. Driving license entitlement. Well, could I get one of those? Transferable though, probably. Well, I mean, a lot of HGV drivers illegally carry passengers over the border. I come from a line of bus drivers.

My granddad was a bus driver. Oh, that seems... I told you. That seems like that was probably the first generation of bus drivers, presumably. Granddad, yeah. And he's got forearm tattoos. And he's got forearm tattoos. And I told you this before, but I want to remind you of this because I think there'll be

new listeners to the show that won't know this fact about my lineage. It's 100% true. The conductor on my grandad's bus went on to be the bad guy in the Schwarzenegger film, The Running Man. Right, okay. Very charismatic man

I remember now yeah so who yeah who taught your granddad to drive buses how did he army army exactly army he was in the royal engineers right so you're out so you're allowed to go straight from back then like um licenses do what you want yeah licenses you'd get your license in the army and just or you if you're in the war you're like come on you've seen you've seen dead people like just fucking get crack on mate you can drive a car that's fine yeah you know like um in the us if you've're in the war, you're like, come on, you've seen dead people. Like, just fucking crack on, mate. You can drive a car. That's fine. Yeah, you know, like in the US, if you've served in the forces, there's the GI Act.

It means you can get educational, you get education basically for free. Right, okay. So GI Act means that say you're in the army or whatever and you sell, you see combat, whatever. I can't remember the specific details. But of course, in the US, university education is notoriously expensive. If you've served in the forces, you get to go through

that process for free under the GI Act. I reckon probably in the 50s in this country, if you'd been in the Second World War or the Korean War, there's a kind of

unspoken GI Act where you can basically just crack on and do what you want. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, because at the end of the day, you sort of go,

I've seen war, what have you seen? It's a perfect comeback. I wouldn't worry about the education in America. Just work on getting them homed. You know what I mean? Get them housed first. It's hard to find a place to store your books when you're living on Skid Row, one would suggest.

Yeah. What are you suggesting from that? I'm just suggesting the Americans and it's probably the world at large, don't take care of the veterans. That's a very noble point to make. Thank you. We were talking about bus drivers. Yeah.

You didn't answer the question. Right. You imagine a bus driver, you're not imagining the beard. For some reason, it's not a profession that lends itself to a beard. Because bus drivers exclusively have those little knobs on their steering wheel

and they go like that. I love that. And if you get that caught in your beard, that could be an atrocious accident. I love it. It's just a really good point. I love it. It'd be like catching your tyre in some kind of machinery. Yeah.

I like it when you walk around the street and you see cars parked. Very, very occasionally. In fact, rarely, I would say. You do see a little steering knob on a steering wheel that someone's put on there themselves and you think that person means business i think that might be i think it might be illegal on a car yeah i think it might actually be legal i think it's legal this is that you've got you're driving with a disability right okay um i would say that like those knobs like because i i would find that quite easy because i've

become um a complete full-on dad mode. I sneeze loudly, and I steer sometimes around corners. And when you do that, and you're reversing, do you put your other arm behind the seat next to you? Yeah, yeah, just to see what I'm doing. I do that all the time. Actually, I just close my eyes, because I've got a rear parking sensor. I've got a camera, but I don't use it. I'm not using it.

Mine goes like this. Like aliens. Mine goes beep, beep. And when it goes beep, I can't beep anymore. That's my polyps. Beep. It can't. Try again.

Why can't you beep? Just beep. Beep. I can't. I've completely lost my voice. I don't know what's going on. Stop a minute. Just stop at what you think is a beep and just just mimic what i do wait we're ready beep beep i've lost i've lost my voice it's like you're punk dancing all over

awful but beep but when it goes beep i know for a fact i've got a good three centimeters more but do you try and push it i was trying to push it yeah because i was like I've got a good three centimetres more. Do you try and push it? I was trying to push it. I tried to push it, yeah, because I was like, I've got loads. And that's what bumpers are for at the end of the day. But I find that my hand can be too slidey on the wheel. Sometimes I spit on my hand to get more purchase on the wheel. That's disgusting, isn't it? Are you the only person that drives the car?

That's disgusting. Yeah, yes, yes, it is. That's fine. Yeah, it's fine. That's disgusting, isn't it? You're the only person that drives the car. That's disgusting. Yeah, yes, yes, it is. That's fine. Yeah, it's fine. That's fine. Or I just lean back and let Sammy Amiobi lick my hand

and just go that way. Yeah. Could you train Sammy Amiobi to lick the steering wheel on your behalf? I'm going to say, no, I can't turn it and do fucking anything.

What about, what about, what about, you know when you buy a magazine and you get a free CD and it's like that kind of sticky stuff? Yeah. It's an amazing product that.

You don't see it anywhere else. Right. Oh. You can stick that on your steering wheel. Oh, what, like a little bit of Blu-Tack for the lads? Do you know what that product I mean? I do know what you mean. You only ever saw that.

It was like, I think they used to call it hot snot. I can see why. Instead of soldering, you could use hot snot, and it's a real mess. It just looks like hot snot. Hotsnot. I can see why. Instead of soldering, you could use Hotsnot, and it's a real mess. It just looks like Hotsnot. Speaking of the old public transport professionals, so I might have mentioned this to you in terms of the general geographic location of where I grew up, but we used to go out on the piss in Portsmouth, right?

Right, yeah. But I grew up in Gosling. You've got a friend in Ferrum, haven't you? I do, yeah. We do go out to Portsmouth quite a lot, yeah. So, yeah, so the way you would do it from Ferrum is you'd probably just go on the road around the top of the harbour

because it's a lot bit easier. But in Gosport, if people who are listening can imagine it, you're basically the other end of a horseshoe and the harbour's in the middle. The quickest way to do it would be across the water. Yeah, it's not that efficient to drive all the way around. Obviously,

at the end of a long old night out and you've still got 20 quid in your back burner, you can jump in a cab. But by far the most efficient and up until relatively recently the cheapest way to get across to Portsmouth would be on the ferry.

And there's this ferry service which just does that ferry, I think, called the Gosport Ferry Company or whatever. And they've basically got a monopoly on it. And it's a big kind of conversational hot potato down there because the prices are really expensive now.

It used to be like a quid to get across. It's about an eight-minute journey. It's like a fiver now. But anyway, the guys that start, the exception of the guy who pilots the boat, the captain or whatever you call him, everyone else who staffs that service are like ex-con tough guys.

Ex-con, right, okay. So they're like either, they've fallen on tough times or they're ex-military or they've served time in jail and they are all like proper rugged. Think of the roughest bus driver times it by a hundred put him on the water that's what you've got and the reason for that is because of course in the evenings people get

punchy yeah so they muck around so their security staff and basically yeah yeah and and there's a lot of like um obviously servicemen down there as well so it's it's all it's it's you've got to be good i think you've got to be good you've got to be quick you've got to be good, I think. You've got to be good and you've got to be quick, you've got to be fast. It's probably a mix-up. But what I used to be impressed by every single time as a kid is because obviously when you're a kid

they just look massive and hard and they are both those things. I've been there relatively recently and they still seem quite hard. But what I used to like is that when the ferry would approach the side it was travelling to,

you've obviously got those big iron, like raw iron kind of, I don't know what you call them, but they're basically the things that you chuck a rope around to tie it on. Yes. What are those buggers? And people have proper like different rope knots

that they sort of slip it on, don't they? The way these guys would do it is they'd have a big, long, thick rope, but it's got a hoop on the end. Right. Right. And they would, honestly, thick rope but it's got a hoop on the end. Right. Right? And they would, honestly,

it was amazing. They would chuck that with the hoop over the receptacle, for want of a better word, from absolutely fucking miles away. Would they ever kind of, would they ever kind of miss?

So, I imagine they did miss. Right. And you just pulled the rope back and you do it again but because you're doing like 50 times a day and some of them working there for like 10 years plus you just get extraordinarily good at it yeah and so i never remember seeing a miss but they will be throwing it from like 15 meters away they should be landing on it they need to sort of teach

me how to do the hooker duck at southend Pier because I find it quite difficult. Mate, if they go to Southend Pier, it's going to be a bloodbath. Yeah, they're doing throw the hoop on the thing like really easily, aren't they? They're going to hoover up every single cuddly toy on that pier. Yeah, true.

Awesome. I'm not sure if they want to carry on after they've got a couple, but if they do, they're going to get as many as they want. They could put them in the ship, couldn't they? To soften their image somewhat. They could do, actually.

It does speak to the kind of expectations that were laid upon me as a working class young lad growing up. That the thing I wanted to be able to do more than anything else

was that. Yeah, what? Throw a rope over a... Throwing that far away. I don't know. why are they bloody they're kind of like sort of anchors aren't they sort of land-based anchors yeah a big most of them would do it with a roll up in the corner of their mouth as well i like they shouldn't be doing that because that's i imagine the ship is doused in uh diesel exactly but it adds a certain je ne sais quoi

to the proceedings let's be honest yeah i think you also weren't allowed to smoke on the boat, but they were. No, but they were because they were working there. But the captain would probably not want to tell them because they're fucking hard. Ever flirted with the hovercraft

late at night? Does the hovercraft run late at night? No, because the hovercraft's going to the Isle of Wight, mate. So there's not really... Right. They don't sort of do little journeys. It would be perfect for little journeys

because it just sort of hops on, hops off, doesn't it? I don't know if it's still going even. The problem with the hovercraft is you've got a lot of admin there. And what I mean by that is the hovercraft from memory goes into South Sea, which is over the Portsmouth side anyway,

so that's no good to me. Right. But when it comes in onto the Pebble Beach, I mean, they've got massive plastic screens around everywhere because you're basically firing little tiny missiles to the tune of about 2,000. Oh, that makes sense, yeah, because I guess it would pick up

some of the rocks, wouldn't it? I do like the idea of having my own little personal one person hovercraft. Going down the heavenlands. I could see you with that. I mean, I just made it out of a desk fan and I'm looking at a desk fan in my pile of rubbish right now, actually. I was going to try and fix it, try to spray some WD-40 into it.

That sometimes helps with alternators and fans and stuff, but didn't clean it, didn't help. It doesn't work. But ready for summer. Ready for summer, yeah. I mean, this is the time to buy your aircon units, isn't it? Because they get quite expensive in the summer. People get quite desperate.

I bought my aircon unit in February of last year. Any good? Good for a song. Still going? Still kicking them all? I bought my I bought my aircon unit in February of last year any good good for a song still going still going well the reason I bought it is because I knew we were going to have a baby

and it was going to be probably as ever a pretty hot summer in London so I didn't want to muck about and I realised you can't really use aircon that much with a baby

oh why because it just makes a noise no the noise is good I think it's just you can't you can't have them too close to a unit like that

because they get cold and dehydrated and stuff. Oh, right, okay. What about babies who live in quite hot climates that are just constantly pounded by air con? Not my problem. Not your problem. It's not your problem. With babies, everything's like a surprise.

You think I haven't got enough to worry about? Everything's just very surprising. Why am I going to be worried about the concerns of other fictional people with babies? No, but I'm just saying, like, air cons on all of the time in America and the Far East. Yeah, but they generally tend to be units either in a window or up high. What I'm saying is if you get a portable unit, air con unit, and you've got it in your baby's nursery or whatever because it's really hot yeah don't put it right next to the baby's head don't put it right next to the baby's

head well we know that at the very least and you can't but i don't think you can put a fan on a baby too close either oh god can we not have any fun i want to put a fan on a baby for crying out loud yeah i mean obviously it's you don't really want the baby to overheat either but i think you know the human body what is the premium temperature for because I noticed on a mate's little camera

that they came around and installed when they stayed around our house it has a little temperature on it it has a little temperature check on it

that's quite interesting so I'd say probably babies don't actually this is not official medical advice by the way so if you're listening to this expecting a child

do not choose me it's not medical it's baby preparation yeah well even so always use the NHS website This is not official medical advice, by the way. So if you're listening to this expecting a child, do not choose me. It's not medical. It's baby preparation. Yeah, well, even so, always use the NHS website is what I would say, at least in the UK. And if you listen in the other country,

you've probably got your own resources. But anyway, I would say, I believe, based on what I've read before in my own experience, it's probably between 16 and 20 degrees Celsius, I would say. They don't need it that hot. It doesn't need to be too hot. I think they'd just get too snoozy otherwise, wouldn't they?

Yeah, my boy is a very good sleeper, thankfully, and he regularly sleeps in those kind of temperatures and he's fine. I've never had a problem. So that's what I would go with. But Pete, I do want to change trains slightly just because we've had an absolute, you know, maelstrom of correspondence from people who really want to get involved

in learning a bit more about your dancing days, your clubbing days, your... Those dancing days. Do you remember that band? They were a band. They were a band. Swedish, I think. What was that song they had? It was actually really good.

It was just called... Something about dancing, wasn't it? No, you're thinking of Los Campesinos. It's a Swedish girl band, wasn't it? Those Dancing Days. Oh, the song, I think, was just called Those Dancing Days. It was called Those Dancing Days. It was Those Dancing Days.

That was their big breakout hit. And whatever happened to Those Dancing Days? That's what I want to know. That's what I want to know. And Good Shoes. What happened to Good Shoes? They broke up in 2011. Well, Good Shoes, I've got a story about that. I've got a story about that, mate.... And Good Shoes. What happened to Good Shoes? They broke up in 2011. Well, Good Shoes,

I've got a story about that. I've got a story about that, mate. Where did Good Shoes go? For crying out loud. They had a good album. I was in a pub for a birthday party and it was my friend Jack and he's a year older than me

and it was his 30th, so that dates it. 14 years ago it would have been. And the barman at the pub where the birthday party was was the lead singer of good shoes ah we've got our answer then not so if that answers your question great he was the manager to be fair so maybe he bought the pub with the proceeds of the good shoes uh album i don't think that let's move on to uh um the rifles uh black kids um um uh i'm trying to think what the

other bands i like who were the band that you were most excited because at this point at this point you are riding high you've got the breakfast show on xfm yeah you are really a man about town in the scene yeah you had so many people back in the day i was probably one of them who thought that they were the the guy the guy on the scene going out all the time doing their thing but actually pete you were that guy there was no one out there okay who could lend themselves in such an authentic way to the 2000s indie scene than you luke i'm what were the bands you were excited about at the time? Talk to us about it. Oh, mate. Well, yeah, I mean, Good Shoes, The Rifles, The Ricks, any of those ones that people would loosely term

Lindy Anfield, Indy Landfield these days. Anything like that, really, I suppose. Has it dated badly, that scene? I think some of them have. I think when you... I used to get very excited about bands like Paul Taggartale and stuff, and you listen to that stuff now and you go,

oh, it's all quite derivative, isn't it? It's all very jangly guitar, bit of drums. We'll see you in Shoreditch on a Friday night. But I would say, Luke, my greatest sort of in being an industry wonk and all that was industry insider

is that every time I used to go to after school at the London School of Economics I used to go there the security guard used to let me in because he had a band

and the only idea I had was my XFM pass so oh that is a flex so absolute flex he'd occasionally come and buy me a gin and tonic I mean

that that is what it's all about. You occasionally got in for free at the London School of Economics. That is one version of what it's all about. I would like to put to our listeners another example of what that scene was all about. Right. And it's a message you sent me on WhatsApp saying, and I'm just going to read it verbatim. Okay.

Me and Mark Haynes got fired from the XFM Breakfast Show as a direct result of allowing the Hobgoblin Hobgoblin to talk about his beer on air. Yeah. That's how it all ended for us. We had a, I'm going to, I love Bob, our producer, but he came from very local radio, Portsmouth radio. Right, so the rules are the rules.

Power FM. What does the Hobgoblin Hobgoblin sound like? Well, he was brought... Every morning, you'd get some PR companies chancing their arm and bringing a kind of spokesperson or a photo opportunity to the front door. So the DJs would come down, or usually me, as someone who wasn't a DJ, one of the sidekjs would come down or you know usually me as uh someone who wasn't a dj uh one of the sidekicks would come down get your picture taken get your free second best sidekick ever in the top 10 sidekicks exactly exactly yeah um and you would get your picture

taken you'd get your freebie and then you'd uh fuck off back upstairs there's never something you wanted it was always just a piece of crap you didn't want anyway um our producer was a little uh i think he came from power fm and he and he's a bit local i know it's south coast isn't it and he um he's a lovely blog and really talented but he had a real i think he still had those kind of like local radio sensibilities in that if you're on the if you're on power fm if you're on the south coast and a spokesperson comes in you're're like, yes, we just need content. No celebrities come down to see us on the South Coast.

So let's just do, let's just get the spokesperson in. Let's get our picture taken. Let's, you know, but there was a succession of the alien from Alien vs. Predator came in. The honey monster came in.

What's he got to say? Exactly. Well, nothing, it turns out, because he was expressly told not to speak by the PR. We got a couple of words out of him, and then the honey monster came on.

The honey monster wasn't allowed to speak, but the hobgoblin, when he came on, he was on for about an hour and a half on a London station. Just, honestly. Just a bloke. It was just, so it was a bloke who was like, you talk like this, and he'd pretend to be a hobgoblin, and he'd be like,

I'm coming in, I want to talk about my delicious beer, what I make. What's the matter, lager boy? Down in my, yeah, it's all that. And he'd just sort of do. Bro, do you want to taste something? And he'd sort of do little naughty jokes about

oh yeah I gotta keep my beer away from those stellar fairies the fairies little stellar fairies would come in and wee

in my drink because you're a little stellar I can see why this went on and I think we could have jolted him into talking about

his ex-wife which I'm not really sure was autobiographical for an hour and a half totally I can see why this went on. And I think we cajoled him into talking about his ex-wife, which I'm not really sure was autobiographical. For an hour and a half, totally unpaid. Totally unpaid, yeah. He's got an hour of, I mean, you know, I don't know how the sales floor was at Global at that point. I mean, to be fair, there was a reason why XFM was never that successful.

But, yeah, I mean, we gave them like an hour and a half. To be fair, I got one free copy of Grand Theft Auto 4 out of Rockstar, and I did an entire show doing the weather from Liberty City. That was, again, sales floor. There's no wonder we got fired. That's my department. I was working at the sales floor there's no wonder we got fired that's my department I was working

on the sales floor at the time Pete I love the idea of the hobgoblin being hobgoblin every time you cut to ads

him getting standing up ready to leave and you go no no stay it's fine John Cena's cancelled so what did the gaffer

say about that I think I only heard about it after we'd been fired but it was made very clear by certain members of the Steel Staff that the straw that broke the Stella's back was the Hobgoblin

who was in charge then was it Deegan it was Deegan as in Matt Deegan was he in charge was he ever in charge I don't know you're boss isn't it oh what in charge of XFM

yeah there was a guy called Adam Adam he worked for Acast for a bit he's gone now

oh yeah okay right he wasn't very happy with you then did Alex get the bullet as well for that Alex got the

bullet a little later on it took about I think about another four months after that so right it was you've got the bullet a little later on. It took about, I think, another four months after that. Right. It was good stuff. You've got to have a little bit of leeway at breakfast

because the timing sends you mad. The hour sends you completely mad. You'd think anything's good content. We used to have a man who worked in a fish shop every Friday. He's not looking to sell his... He's not. Well, to be fair, he was a man who was frequently fined for selling necrotised fish.

So it's not as if he's... Oh, not the Billingsgate guy. It is, yeah. It was Roger Barton. Yeah. Roger Barton. Yeah. He's a character, though.

He's a character. He's a turf accountant. You are going to... Is he dead now? No, no, he's still alive, doesn't he? You've got to bait fish. Yeah, you are going to... you are going to, you know, sometimes you've got to weigh it up.

This man has broken several trading laws causing injury, illness for many members of the public. On the other hand, he's a bit of a character. Exactly. On the Macon radio. He may have crossed out a sell-by date on a crab and written a new one. But, hey, time is fluid.

Time is circular. Give the crab a pen, he could do that himself. Exactly. The perfect crime. Let's have a quick break. When we come back, we've got some batteries to do.

But if you have also been fired from a national radio station for allowing an unpaid advertorial, get in touch. I'm sure we'll get many emails about that one. It's the Looker Pitcher and every single Thursday

we talk about all things batteries. If you found an interesting battery in one of your bits of electronics, do let us know what you have found and take a picture and stuff.

Sybil, I think we've already got two submissions this week which is absolutely tragic. Raise your blummin' raise again.

Sybil. Before you name this, could I just get a sense check from you? Yeah. It was absolutely tragic. Raise your blummin' raise again. Sibyl. Before you just rename this, can I just get a sense check from you? Yeah. Have you ever heard of or known someone

called Sibyl before? Apart from the lady in Fawlty Towers. Sibyl and Sibyl Shepherd. Yeah. It's rare though, isn't it? Percival.

What? I knew a Percival. Is it rare? It is rare. It's rare though, isn't it? Percival. What? I knew a Percival. Is it rare? It is rare. It's a rare name. But thank you, Sybil from Japan. Hello again, battery boys. Here's one more I found.

On 365, I think. Keep the great work. Love the podcast. More great batteries from Japan. I mean, I'm not really sure what the brand is, but I think it's a really good... Is it Crucible? No, it's the Crucible of great batteries.

Oh, Crucible. Right, I see what you've done there. I didn't even mean to do that. Fantastic. On 365. So we've got photos. They're comprehensive. We've got photos, yeah.

There's comprehensive artwork here. So I think they're obviously legit. I would say they're perfectly acceptable. They are indeed brand new players. No one else has ever sent

on 365 into this show. They are new players and they enter the game. And if I know a Japanese craftsmanship

they're going to be lovely. And I do very much enjoy seeing a bit of like a sort of fleecy jumper and a couple of nice black shoes pointing out of the picture.

It's a very cosy jumper, doesn't it? Lovely. Matt, one new submission. Up and up. Here's two. Long life and up and up. But I think we're just going to go for up and up. Well, long life's a waste of time.

Yeah, a waste of time. That was good. Up and up. So up and up are also a new player. Yay! But I've got a caveat to that, Peter. I, a waste of time. That was good. Yeah. Up and Up. So Up and Up are also a new player. Yay! But I've got a caveat to that, Peter. I need a ruling from you. And that is that Up and Up is a Target brand.

It's the brand of the official Target battery. Right. And they've been reissued from this year. Are you still okay to accept them? Yeah, I think so. I think, yeah, especially on a slow battery week, I think we're allowed to. Definitely. We're going up and up

and up and up. We're going down and down and down and down. We're going up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up and down. Do the propeller. What? The rifles. No, the wiggles, actually. There's one of the

wiggles. I'm obsessed with wiggles. There's one of the Wiggles. I'm obsessed with the Wiggles. There's one of the Wiggles who, when they do the Propeller song, it's a new girl who's doing it, because I'm a big fan of the Wiggles and have been for a long time. She's like a professional, I think, jazz... Not jazz, what is it? Salsa dancer. She's like the best salsa dancer in the whole entire world.

But can she make her arms don't go like propeller no she can't can you do it there you go it's not bad you know who the best person in the world that is uh oh i don't know jimbo from jimbo on the net set it's john hudson john hudson of the hudson uh of new york our um yeah so he used to be involved in Copper 90. He does a lot of content stuff. He's also a stand-up comic. He does a lot of improv stuff. He's a really funny man.

Luke likes him, weirdly. I do, yeah. It's weird that, isn't it? Weird that, isn't it? I think it's because he's so plucky and such a nice bloke and genuinely an authentic man. I think, you know what? I'm fine with you being a comedian

because I think I can't really imagine you doing anything else. Strong fencer. He fences as well. He is also a very competitive fencer I can't really imagine you doing anything else. Strong fencer. He fences as well. He is also a very competitive fencer. It sounds like we're making him up. We're not. Anyway, he does this bit, or he used to do this bit on his stand-up routine.

Right. And he's quite, I mean, I hope he doesn't mind me saying this. I do love him dearly. He is quite an odd-looking fella from a certain angle. Oh. But he leans into that because he does this propeller dance thing as an opener for his stand-up set yeah and it is honestly just totally disarming he makes his body do things

that you don't think anyone could do i'm going to find a video of it because i've got it on whatsapp i watch it all the time and i'm going to share it with our listenership and they're going to see what i mean it is instantly hilarious in a way I can't really explain. And I don't think you do it anywhere in as well as he does. No, you're probably right, Hudson. Again, but Hudson's

great with his arms. I think fencers generally are, aren't they? They've got good wrist work. It's a skill. It's a big part of it and it has to be. Also, can I be potentially

even more rude about John Hudson but not in a vicious way? How hard do you reckon it is to be competitive at fencing? It's quite an old school discipline, isn't it? Yeah, everyone does it.

What do you mean? Everyone does it. Everyone does it. All you need is a helmet and a foil, don't you? But people don't do it is what I'm saying. If you tried to find a fencing club in Leon C, you wouldn't be able to find one. I bet you I would.

Go on then. All right then. Find one now. The nearest fencing club to you I would. Go on then. All right then. Find one now. The nearest fencing club to you will not be in Leon City. It'll be, my point is it's not

a massively participated in sport. There's literally one round the corner, Mayfair Drives and Patios Limited. Come on. Five star fence fitter.

FencingSouthend.co.uk Thank you very much. I reckon the one reason it's not very popular is because it's impossible to Google it because that's impossible to google it because that's all you get it is

yeah they need a rebrand to be honest fencing club London I'd love to hear from a fencer if you're listening

to this show and you're not John Hudson well I'd love to hear from John Hudson as well anyway but if you were listening to this show

and you're a fencer and you're not John Hudson get in touch now I mean a competitive fencer in terms of the old presumably French,

sword fighting thing? Yeah, there is. Not putting fences up. No, but we could use both because the gales will not stop here in Leonty. And there's a shoe brand in South End Swords Fencing Club

and the main picture is a man who's got a sort of, the face mask, he's had it sort of painted in the liveries of the Union Jack, which, of course, they fucking have.

Of course they have. I would have thought you'd be quite vain in cosmopolitan if you liked fencing. Yeah, you'd think you'd be almost a bit Spanish. You're like, the fencing grill is just stink of chorizo, aren't you? You're thinking like one of the musketeers or something. I am, yes, I am. I am. Speaking of which, have you got a strong,

did you have a strong take on the St. George's cross on the England kit thing on the Ramble? I think, I hadn't heard everyone else's opinion, so I should really

keep my powder eye, but I think that it's upsetting the right people and I'm all for chaos. Yeah, exactly. Look at who's standing next to you when you have your take. Yeah. And if it's your usuals to you when you have your take. Yeah.

And if it's your usuals, then you know what to do. Yeah. I mean, it's good that Keir Starmer's getting involved in this particular hot button topic, isn't it? Why does he feel like he needs to be involved? Well, he doesn't get involved in other stuff, does he? By the way, it's pleasing how badly that Joey Barton's fundraiser's gone, isn't it? Oh, well, isn't it a legal fund now?

It's not really a fundraiser anymore, is it? He's tried to get 100 grand, and it is slowing to a trickle now. It's slowing down, isn't it? And it's only like 13K. I mean, that's still pretty good for, like, unlikable people putting their... Because the best thing about the sort of people

who would usually support them, they're probably quite stingy as well. You know what I mean? Ah, big time. But it's an irony though, isn't it? Because those types of people can invariably find out... They can invariably tend to be very, very successful financially.

Yeah, because they're ruthless shitheads. Yeah, I guess. So it's actually... If they're really, really wealthy, it's a relatively small amount of... The point is this. The point is this. If you are someone

who wants to embark on presumably some kind of broadcasting and media career, but you are so entitled, you haven't even bothered to work out the legalities of doing so, and you happen to already

be a millionaire, it doesn't look that good asking otherwise relatively poor people for money. Does it? But that's the, isn't that the, isn't that the old shift grift, the grift shift? At least sell him a Doomsday. Sell him some beans in a big can.

At least, do you know what? I'll tell you what. Sell him some supplements. At least do some CBD gummies. Exactly. You know what I mean? JB. Don't just ask for money.

Get yourself some. Look, I love some of you work for Newcastle. I love that knock down header for Czech T.O.A we all enjoyed that yeah against Arsenal

that time but get yourself some CBD gummies for crying out loud hawk them down the market alright then let's get out of here

let's get out of here for crying out loud nice time to finish I think once you start talking about Joey Barton I think legally you are obliged to wrap up your show

because you've run out of things to talk about. So we'll do that right now. All right, then. Hello at LukeandPete.com is the email address. All is welcome here. Unlike Barton, who's a shit, we welcome everyone here, whoever they are. So join us, listen, subscribe, email us if you want.

We're on social media as well, at LukeandPeteShow and at The LukeandPeteShow. And we will be back on Monday, but only after we've all had a bloody excellent weekend. Yes. Stay in school. Ta-ta. The Luke and Pete Show is a Stack production and part of the ACAST Creator Network.