The Luke and Pete Show - Pop it in your mouth

Episode Date: April 23, 2020

Today’s episode starts with Pete holding in a burp, and goes downhill from there...The boys are discussing the resilience of the humble tin foil hat vs the powerful waves of 5G, plus great sporting memorabilia, skitching and yet more batteries (we’re nothing if not consistent). Also on the show, Luke recounts treasuring a water bottle from a performer at Haven holiday camp and shockingly, Pete persuades Luke to do something unspeakable to a Nintendo Switch cartridge.  Get in touch with all your missives at [e-mail], we’d especially love to hear your lockdown tips! **Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or your preferred podcast provider. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

and it's the luke and peach show it's a thursday as i started talking a burp started to form in my throat but i'm managing to get through it with the level of professionalism i left thought i'd left behind an Absolute Radio. You weren't that professional at Absolute Radio, were you? Never burped on air. Never burped on air, even though I was always on the brink of doing so. Actually, that's a lie. My last link, my last bit of speaking on Absolute Radio,

I specifically did a burp. Famously a burp. Yeah. And I said goodbye. You don't get that kind of content at the BBC, do you? Well, you did for about 10 weeks when I was on the Danny Wallace show on Six Music. A very small, short, truncated stint. Yeah, exactly.

Exactly. Very prompt pairs, though. Very prompt pairs. But very low payers, aren't they? Very low payers. I got an email from my agent he's been quiet uh with uh well the bloke who uh the bloke who manages the finances anyway uh um paying me for a job that i did in april of 2019 i'm not gonna name the band i did the

work for but i'm certainly gonna name the record company. It was Universal. Yeah, I remember doing some work. When I first ever got a media job, it was at a football club's fan TV channel. And I was just going for it around, doing bits, getting tees, all the usual good stuff that you do when you're young. And they never paid me.

Right. Never. I invoiced them and they never paid me. Cool. Chelsea TV yeah it was yeah it was yes I guess

were you there when was it Chelsea TV when Hayley McQueen got that phone call from that pervert no that's Man United TV

that's Man United TV is that Man United TV very enjoyable where the man rang up just to talk about Gary Palace's penis. That's right, yeah. And in a way, in a strange way, I applaud it. I do, massively.

It was complimentary. It certainly showed the presenting chops of Hayley McQueen. It certainly showed the presenting chops of Hayley McQueen, but it still made me giggle because a man, it's a compliment planting it on the man on the side of his knees. I watched the phone in on the radio where I asked people to get in touch with all the great sporting memorabilia they had. It's probably quite fun. Some guy called up to the end end like I signed Muhammad Ali boxing glove

and it was quite good and then one guy obviously drunk called up and did a good few minutes on all the things he'd stolen

from AFC Wimbledon's old Plough Lane football stadium and he was going I've got exit signs I've got entrance signs

I've got I've even got spatulas from the burger van. It was an incredible piece of radio. They're independent contractors. It was an incredible piece of radio, if you don't mind me saying so. It was utterly bizarre. But there you go. It can happen.

It's the perils of live broadcasting. I was doing a bit of Wrestle Me, one of the Scarlet podcasts with Mark last week, and he said that, I can't remember the character's name, but he was the guy who would come out with The Undertaker before he was The Undertaker. Oh, Paul Bearer.

Mark Callow. No, before he was The Undertaker, it was Mark Calloway, I think his name is, or Mark Calloway, over in WCW and he was like

a New York style Gordon Gekko yuppie and his thing was like a mobile phone and Mark

saw a performance a live performance of WCW or wherever it was and this guy smashed his mobile phone

against somebody as an attack and it smashed into pieces and Mark still got a bit of that in his house somewhere, he says. Wow. So there you go. Weird memorabilia. How was Mark even there?

Where was it? I mean, he was watching some wrestling. It was when they were in London I guess oh okay right that's wicked I wonder if anyone's got any other good memorabilia or actually

quite poor memorabilia send it in hello at lukeandpetecher.com I'd love to hear from you because I remember for some reason when I was a kid

I I think we went to like Haven holiday camp did you ever used to go to that kind of holiday camp yeah Haven Butlins that was our main holiday to be honest and then we went to like Haven holiday camp. Did you ever used to go to that kind of holiday camp? Yeah, Haven, Butlins, that was our main holiday, to be honest.

And then we went to, there was like a kids club thing. And it was like, I think it would have been, it must have been, I mean, my memory's hazy because I was about seven, but it must have been a Redcoats type, whatever the Haven equivalent of Redcoats, doing entertaining and doing singing and cover versions of songs and dancing and all that stuff they do and not to entertain and one of the guys who was working there i guess i must have thought was really cool

he um he was performing and we were quite that near the front because we were kids and he he passed um he passed a bottle of water to us like he handed out bottles of water and i kept that bottle for ages because i thought oh god he's like a proper famous guy like i think bottled water was quite a novelty then as well and i kept the bottle for ages i have no idea why handed by a guy from butlin yeah haven right yeah because you do kind of um anyone on stage, you sort of go, oh, my God, they're so famous. Even like watching like college, you know, college productions of like Guys and Dolls and Calamity Jane,

like these people who I would walk the hallowed halls of English Martyrs with shoulder to shoulder as equals, as soon as they got on stage, they became superstars. I was like, flipping heck. All of these people are so talented i had no idea were you ever involved no i got involved backstage with it um uh just to you know bask in some reflected glory but yeah i didn't really have a proper job i think i was just sort of lifting things around i i did a bit of the old backstage stage crew stuff as well at school. Mate, 30 feet from stardom, that's you and me.

Yeah, definitely. By the way, Pete. It was the woman who was, Cheryl Craw was Michael Jackson's backing singer, wasn't she? Oh, was she? Oh, she became famous. Yeah, she did a lot apparently. There was a brilliant BBC story I saw earlier this week.

It was basically a news article that promised to throw light on how MI5 are dealing with still working through coronavirus and maintaining security and stuff. It was a very noble pursuit in terms of an article about what they wanted to achieve. However, they ended up with this quote. You'll understand if I don't go into exactly the ways in which we are working and what shape we're in,

but MI5 is at work in a whole variety of ways, flexibly operating in our job. Thanks. Basically, we can't tell you. We cannot tell you what we're doing, and you're an idiot for even trying to ask because this is MI5. Yeah, the thing about MI5 is they're quite secretive.

I'm imagining just alcohol wipes on the headsets. That's to the extent that they're working, I imagine. And taking down 5G wireless masks. Oh, mate, don't even start on them, mate. Have you got your tinfoil hat on yet? Ooh la la. You got it on? Say again?

Have you got your tinfoil hat on? Tell us about 5G. Somebody on a WhatsApp sent us a little article about where, I think, an educational establishment university, I'm going to call it, did tests on how effective tinfoil hats actually were with like 5G and different spectrum of the radioactive spectrum. And apparently most of them actually enhance the effect of things going on in your head. So the very concept of a tinfoil hat is stupid because it actually amplifies the waves

because it's made entirely of metal. That's brilliant stuff. That is so good. Did it go on to what would be effective? No, but it did experiment with different kinds of like centurion style uh like just the general pointed hat uh yeah classic tinfoil helmet sort of thing yeah it just basically said uh you know people are fucking stupid i have noticed that um i don't know where's the football ramble email box and i think it might be the football ramble email box and the lucid peep uh email box someone has signed us up for a um basically a i think it's a kind of like a free speech kind of

channel if that makes any sense like a uh like uh someone who's really angry about um i think they hosted a david eich um facebook chat right and uh unfortunately they uh and unfortunately facebook David Icke Facebook chat. And unfortunately, Facebook in their particular situation. London Real. London Real. Brian Rawls, founder and host from London Real. He's a man who is, I think it's a business accelerator program. It doesn't matter. Anyway, there is a lone voice in the wilderness

who has made a little TV sort of channel on Facebook. And I think they've been banned from Facebook. And basically, for the last few days, people have just been complaining to our email box that they shouldn't have been taken off Facebook. David Icke did a Facebook Live, I think, and they shouldn't have been taken off Facebook. David Icke did a Facebook Live, I think, and they shouldn't have been taken off Facebook. And they are very angry. I've unsubscribed,

but I'm really quite furious with the person who signed us up to that one, because it really did clog up the email box and made it harder for me to do the emails on the Ramble this week. So, boo to you, I say. Boo. And God knows how much you do not need a barrier to doing reading out

emails is that fair uh that is fair i'll put look i'll put up with people signing up to patreon we get an email every time someone emails up to signs up to patreon and that is very much uh uh welcomed uh but uh the rest beyond the pale for me beyond the pale let everyone down there absolutely so what was the conclusion of the Tim 4 hats? I mean, the other alternative headwear? Just they don't work. So your skull's probably more effective. Your skull is fine as it is.

It's fine as it is. It's been designed quite well. Do you remember back in the day you'd be able to amplify the, I think it's probably RF signal well apparently do you remember back in the day you'd be able to amplify the i think it's probably rf uh signal of your um car unlocker you know a little key ring thing you could amplify it by sticking it on your head because your head acts like a big antenna that is very nice stuff i remember there would be a rumor that you could basically get your mobile phone phone someone so you could be like eight miles away from your car, phone someone, but you've got the key.

Phone someone who's next to your car on a mobile phone. Right. Put the phones together and click your key and it would unlock the car. Is that true? Oh, well, I mean, it is. I don't know. It is RF, so I don't know what, does that make like a,

it transmits a little sound or a beep? That's what the suggestion was. Like a binary beep, so yeah. But would it be outside the range of what a mobile phone sound-wise would be looking for and therefore compressing and... Maybe on an old analogue signal. I don't know.

Interesting. I might Google that. The reason I ask that is because I've got an app on my phone for my car that if I forget to lock it, it tells me and I can lock it with the app. Right, okay. But that's completely different, right? Yeah.

There's a lot of – Tesla obviously has a lot of apps in their little ecosystems. I was watching a guy who's really tech savvy and he was talking about what apps he has on his phone and like to order tesla it seems you need about 10 apps which is really weird i also discovered i also discovered quite recently that um how tesla batteries work and i think i bought on on the ramble uh whatsapp about it for quite a while because it was so exciting to me. The idea of the Tesla battery, I just assumed it was like a big one-piece car battery. I can hear you typing saying, edit this out, Katie.

I was just having a drink. Yeah, I thought it was like a big battery, like a big lithium-ion battery, like maybe three or four in serial or parallel and like that. But it's not. It's literally like 7,000, if not more maybe, little ones, not much bigger than a AA battery. And they're all just in like packs with cooling solutions around it so they don't get too hot.

And so presumably if one of the cells goes, the other ones can take over. So obviously it's a really sensible solution. But if you open a Tesla battery pack that is the entirety of the base of the car, you're just basically opening up something like 70,000 batteries. It's so weird. It's so weird it's so weird but i love it so much the idea yeah that's i mean that's the very uh that's the very idea of a rechargeable car isn't it but um but yeah obviously um i would just assume that they would have specific uh you know design things but but it's the same battery that you find in a lot of rechargeable stuff that you'd find in your

house like a you know i would not expect that at all i also read i read something a while back about elon musk saying i mean i know he says a lot of things but he was saying that his company are quite close to developing a power cell that just lives on the wall of your house and you never have to have power again i mean you just it's all just done for you. You don't need to get any kind of, what's it called, like utilities to give you power again. Yeah, yeah. I think you can only get it in America, I think.

Certainly in the warmer states. You've got your solar panels on the roof and it feeds the battery and the battery just, they're very expensive, but you do get, I think, dispensation from the government for using it. He's a tit, but some of his solutions are actually getting to market, which is more than can be said from a lot of the other companies who are obviously in the pocket of the oil industry. And also, it's more than it could be said

than for your infant chip bowl helmet, which sadly never made market. No, no, I am very much a man who will half-ass things and not see things through. You did promise us a little, of your Witcher 3, the wild hunt experience.

Are you having a wild hunt on your Switch? Yeah, that's right i've got a couple of bits of feedback on that i mean it won't be a very long fucking it won't make it it won't be a very long piece on this i'll tell you it won't need to be a pricey it'll just be the entirety of what i've done um right so i i've got an intent no switch light like the smaller one which can't convert into onto the tv onto the tv right and so it's a little bit small for my hands which is a little bit frustrating uh and it's also matte finish there's a little bit slippery in my hands as well which is not great right um and what i would say about the witcher though is it's a very very immersive interesting game um but it's also quite hard and quite complicated i mean i've I've only just come out of the time sink that was No Man's Sky,

and now I'm in this setup. Have you ever played it? Played what? The Witcher? Witcher, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I played right through it. Fantastic piece of entertainment. I actually gave at the Golden Joysticks 2017, I think, I gave an award to one of the creators of The Witcher 3.

So in many ways, that's probably what spurred them on. Yeah, maybe there'll be a Witcher 4 now after that ringing endorsement from Pete Dawson. Oh, it is a work of art. It really is. And the idea that they've been able to convert it to the Switch is technically just incredible but i can imagine you're not quite as into it if you're playing you know without headphones on a switch light yeah i could i could see that being a bit

little problematic well at some point i might try and um um essentially grab uh um mimi's others because she's got, the story is this, and in many ways, it's a story of marriage. I got a Switch. I enjoy playing it. I play Breath of the Wild a lot. Mimi then discovered Animal Crossing, which means I can never get near the Switch ever again

to the point of having to get another one so I can actually play the games I'd already bought for the Switch, which I now can't play. Basically. Animal Crossing. Animal Crossing has managed to break through like no other version of that game it's just i mean it was on the gamecube it was on the

nintendo ds i mean you had grandmothers playing it until they're like you know 95 and stuff like it was a it was a big game but i've never seen a game being adopted maybe it's got something to do with a lockdown i've never definitely seen tom nook be taken to so many bosoms i i look at it and i go i just i'm not gonna play it i just know i'm not gonna play it just tidying up growing turnips tidying up yeah i've tried i've tried it and i haven't found it quite as arresting as others have found it but i think it's probably one of those things where you need to get into the mindset. Because what I find with modern games, and this is very much a layman's kind of point of view,

and it came from when I was chatting to John Hare, who created Sensible Soccer. We've got a Ramble Meets over on Football Round World Daily coming out with him. Because I just think Sensible Soccer is just such a work of genius. And when I had the chance to talk to him, I just really wanted to do it. He's an interesting guy, and he's achieved a in video games as you as you will know better than me but one of the things he said which i found really resonated with me is that um games are a

lot slower now right so which is a kind of interesting prospect because you think that the conventional wisdom says that people's attention spans are shorter so something like sensible soccer if you take the word of a football game compared to fifa you can play sensible soccer you can play a match in sensible soccer in like five minutes because on fifa generally speaking it probably takes about 20 minutes 20 yeah yeah but but so but the thing is interestingly on things like the witcher i found there's so much narrative and um so many scenes that you're just required to just watch so you know what's happening with the story that it took me quite a long time to get used to it because i'm i'm used to like a lot of people i suppose just skipping through things on video games and you can't really

do that on the witcher because you need to immerse yourself in the story it took me a while to work that out actually yeah i mean you're a big game of thrones fan so i thought you know there are some good performances in there i love the aesthetic of it and i love the acting and that kind of yeah it's great it's wicked yeah yeah but i would probably sort of use the parallel of um people wanting a financially a bit more bang for the buck because video games used to be you know 35 quid 40 and now they're cracking into the 60s um so people want more replayability and people want that sort of thing. But then there is the indie game, aesthetic indie game scene

that obviously produces games that are much shorter and much easier and quicker to get through. And also I'd sort of use the parallel of films. We watched the Arsenal Stadium mystery over on the Football Ramble on Monday, hour and 20. Everyone just does what they have to do and gets out as quickly as they can. That's what video games used to be. They were punishing, they were hard, and they would be quicker experiences

because if you were good at them, you could just sort of pile through really quickly. But there wasn't as much content. But nowadays, people expect a bit more majesty and atmosphere, and the graphics have got better so obviously you know staring at a an 8x16 jet set willy or sonic the air jog is a little less arresting and interesting than staring at the eyes of gerald in the witcher yeah i think it's i think it's horses for courses though because i think sometimes you do want a little blast a little quick blast. Yeah.

And sometimes you want to immerse yourself in something. But you're right about the cost. I mean, I think the witch is like 50 quid or something. So you do really should expect a bit of bang for your buck for that. But having said that, prices of electronics has come down a great deal, hasn't it, in recent generations. So I think when my dad first got us a PC in our house, I mean, it was like the processing power of it.

It was like a 386 or something. But I think it cost like two grand. Oh, it's crazy. Absolutely crazy. I mean, they've become a lot more affordable and people are willing to shop around a little bit more. Have you ever put a Nintendo Switch cartridge in your mouth? No, I haven't.

Do it. No, thank you. Do it. No, thank you. Do it. Are you in a room where you've got one? No. Why? Tell me why I should do it. I'm just interested.

You know what? Let's take a break. We'll be back with some emails. You can just go and quickly grab a Nintendo Switch cartridge and we'll do a little taste test, all right? Go and get it then, Luke. I don't want to little taste test, all right? Go and get it then, Luke. I don't want to. Why am I doing this?

Go and get it. All right, hang on. Okay, I've got one. All right, cool. Why am I doing this? And we are back with the Luke and Pete show and we left you on tenterhooks as to how Luke would enjoy the physical sensation of putting a Nintendo Switch cartridge in his mouth.

Luke, did you run off and get a Nintendo Switch cartridge? I did. I just want to make sure that it doesn't ruin the game. Well, just don't concentrate on the metal contacts but no it won't it won't mess with the game it should be fine uh what game is it just just so we can just get rid of you just i just pulled the game out of the switch yeah okie dokie all right um so if you could just pop the nintendo switch cartridge into your mouth and tell us what it tastes like okay Okay. It's fucking disgusting. It tastes disgusting.

It tastes like that stuff you used to put on people's nails to stop them biting their nails. Yes, it's so kids don't eat them. Oh, is it really? That's a really good idea. Yeah, because they're quite small, aren't they? Very chalkable. I'm just having a drink of water.

They specifically made it taste disgusting. It's absolutely horrific. I can't get a taste off my tongue. It's horrible, isn't it? Shall we get on with some emails? If your tongue can bring itself to form words. All right, cool. Hello to ChrisWilliams1997.

I mean, if you were really clever, you'd probably work out his email address on that. Actors are the true writing geniuses, says ChrisWilliams1997. Hi, lads. In response to Pete's meltdown, rude, over the use of improv in TV shows last week, I thought you'd find this little nugget of trivia interesting.

According to the most reliable of sources, the IMDb trivia page, on the set of The Fugitive, Tommy Lee Jones actually improvised his famous I don't care line on the spot. The original line was apparently that isn't my problem. I'm sure you can agree that both lines

are completely different with vastly different meanings that basically changed the entire story. Proof that all actors are the real mastermind. Who needs a script anywhere? Love the show, Chris. Thank you very much for that. made me giggle yeah pete you did go on an absolute meltdown didn't you last week it's a textbook dance and rant it's a piss take and then i think i went on to listen to uh another episode of the um office ladies podcast uh in which they were

covering a um an episode of the show where everyone brings their daughter to work. Bring your daughter to work, dear. I don't know why it's just daughters, but bring your daughter to work, dear. And all of the user questions, all of the listener questions were, was that actually the actor's son? Sorry, was that actually that actor's daughter? Are you fucking dumb?

I mean, to be fair, in one situation, it was actually the actor's daughter. Are you fucking dumb? I mean, to be fair, in one situation, it was actually the actor's daughter, but he was one of the writers. It's just, it just makes me angry on behalf of craftsmen and craftswomen that I am not a part of. So I feel like I'm doing a good thing by respecting actors and all that.

Martin Scorsese's mum's in pretty much every one of his movies. She is. Is she? Yes. Oh, okay. She plays Joe Pesci's mum in Goodfellas. That's actually Scorsese's mum. She's in quite a lot of his movies.

It does happen, Pete. All I'm saying is you're getting weirdly irate about quite silly stuff. I just think people are just silly. Listen, let me bring you back round to sunshine because I've got an email here about Skitchin'. Skitchin', baby! Oh, yeah. It's from Gareth, and he says,

Hi, guys. Thanks for the shows. When I was much younger, I bought the game Skitchin' for the Mega Drive. Do you remember it? Yeah, I do. I do remember Skitchin' for the Mega Drive. He says, in my memory, it didn't actually involve skateboards. Players had to hitch a ride with various cars by holding onto them wearing rollerblades.

Yes, that's right. Because, yeah, I mean, that's mainly where i remember the word skitching from because it was like a it sort of looked a little bit like road rash if you remember that game on the old mega drive we've got very video gamey this time around but uh so you'll have to put up with it guys sorry but uh yes skitching great little video game we've got some good reviews yeah he says the cars in question were not limited to civilian ones but also included police cars and the name came from a portmanteau of skating and hitching the point of the game was to get to your destination before your rivals who you were allowed to punch

and kick in order to impede them various objects were to be found lying around that could be used as impromptu ramps to make the player fly into the air in a nod to health and safety the game did have a warning at the start which it was not possible to skip telling players don't even dream of skitching for real well i do still have the mega drive says gareth i don't have a copy of the game anymore because i sold it to my maths teacher who gave it to his children your conversation has brought back happy memories of trying to master the most ridiculous sport skitching keep up the good work gareth i just think I should get into Skitching. I should order myself some rollerblades.

And I've seen quite a lot of rollerblades in town, to be fair. People just scooting around. No Skitching, though. I might get into it. I mean, people would probably spot me quicker than usual hanging off the back of their Ford Cortina. But, you know, there's a risk you've got to make when you're trying to make your name as a famous skitcher.

Apparently, drug dealers are getting spotted very easily by police crossing county lines because, obviously, there aren't as many cars on the road. So they're kind of quite easy to spot. So the drug purity has gone down massively. Do you reckon, like, if you were to be skitching down the street, someone would point and go, that man looks old to be skitching down the street, someone would point and go, that man looks old to be skitching.

He must be approaching 40. What's he doing skitching? Is that man like a, yeah, but I could be like the original skitcher. I could be like the Tony Hawk of skitching. True. Mike Caballero. I think he's a skater. I think he beat someone up on a video once.

I think there'll be another sort of person next to him saying, well, I've seen some old skitchers and I've seen some bold skitchers, but I've never seen an old, bold skitcher. In America Mura, a place in Osaka, Japan, there is an old bloke who must be pushing 60, who is just a skateboarder, and he just tootles around in this kind of really small square. It actually looks like a level from Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2.

In this really small square they call America Mura, simply because somebody at one point put a Statue of Liberty up, and a lot of the shops sell skatewear and stuff. But this guy just does nollies and kickflips downstairs. And a lot of the kids who are in America Mura at the time, they actually wear T-shirts with his face on it. It's really weird. And that is why I love America Mura in Osaka.

What does Mura stand for? What does that mean? Town, I think. America town. Okay, so it's America town, basically. How interesting. Interesting. I think that's just about all we've got time for this time around.

We talked about the Witcher and the Skitcher. On the Switch. On the Switcher. Yeah. Do stick around, though, because we're back on Monday. So let us know what you want us to talk about on Monday by emailing hello at lukeandpeachshow.com.

We'd love to hear about how you're getting on lockdown, any life hacks you've got, any other bits and pieces you're up to, any techniques from working from home, any little cheats you're doing

around home working, all that good stuff. How to make, yeah, all that good stuff. How to make your switch cartridges taste better. Maybe add some pumpkin. Yeah, could do that. Put some canned pumpkin all over them maybe you could you've been skitching around your house down your hallway or down your stairs but don't even dream of trying

to do it for real all right um that is it for this time I've been Luke he's been Pete thank you very much for listening and we'll speak to you again soon. Piss off. This was a Stakhanov production.