The Luke and Pete Show - Power washing with Robert Pattinson

Episode Date: July 27, 2020

On today’s episode, we ask whether it’s okay to put cheese coleslaw in a pot noodle and whether Pete will outlive Keith Richards. The conclusion to both is the same.We also hear about the Australian ‘bin chicken’ and we’ve got some amazing original noises from Mario 64 to play you.And if that wasn’t enough, Pete’s got a story about a faux pas he made at a garden party on Saturday when he got a little too overexcited with a power washer.Get in touch with us at [e-mail]!***Please rate and review us on Apple or wherever you get your podcasts. It means a lot and makes it easy for other people to find us. Thank you!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

it's the luke and pete show welcome to the luke and pete show i'm pete donaldson uh i'm joined by mr luke moore i do hope what i just said did not end up on the recording because to be quite frank you just can't trust me to edit a show these days we're so busy at the moment aren't we uh we're kind of coming out of lockdown. Some of our shows are being recorded remotely. Some of them are being recorded in the room. It's all very confusing. You've got letters to send out, Luke, well wishes, well wishes, all kinds of stuff.

The stuff you said before we recorded there, I would like to distance myself from it, but no more than I'd like to distance myself from everything. From everything else. Yeah, so for me, it's business as usual. Exactly. Take anything that I say out of context and I'm in trouble quite frankly. Well, it's difficult because

it's never in context, is it really? It's just an endless stream of thoughts. I think people give me a lot more rope than I really should be afforded, I think, in many ways. Well, that was the working title of this show, wasn't it? When we first sort of thought about it.

The working title was just Give Pete Enough Rope. Ruin. Let's see what happens. Yeah. I would say, let's get Peter cancelled because he deserves it. The things he's done in his life, he deserves it. People don't need to listen to his nonsense, to be quite frank. How are you doing, Luke?

Have you had a good weekend? What have you been up to, mate? I'm not bad, thanks. Yeah, I had an okay weekend. I had a quite relaxed one Saturday, finished my book, which is good. Yesterday, I went to a friend's house. I went for a walk with him and his wife and his kids and then went back to theirs for a delicious barbecued dinner.

And then today, I'm back at it again the weekends go so fast um but i'm all right and i think also pete you've got nothing to worry about because you are as close to uncancellable as possible i think what do you mean i just think i just think you just can't be held down you're not you can't be killed by conventional means. You're like Lemmy or Keith Richards. Well, Lemmy was famously killed. He died. He wasn't killed. He died. Does that count as a killing?

Probably not. An extrajudicial killing? Killing Lemmy. I think it probably does, to be honest, the way that he treated his body with all that speed. Yeah. Goodness me. Do you think you'll outlive Keith Richards?

I genuinely don't think I will isn't that terrible i'm starting to look at it going yeah no i don't think uh because because people go people go oh he's the stuff they did to his body it's incredible he lived that long are we talking about you or keith richards sorry keith richards yeah keith richards i i would say that like keith rich, he has looked like shit for the best part of his life. So it's not like he's looked like ever, ever green. You know what I mean? It's not like he's looked like this beautiful,

kind of like timeless beauty. He's looked like absolute dog shit for the last 50 years. No, I think he looked great in the 70s. He still looked like Keith Richards, though. He still looked all haggard. Yeah, you know what I mean? 70s and then he still looked like keith richards though he still looked all haggard yeah not you mean i i think you know there's in his book i think it is where he says that um five separate doctors have told him that if he doesn't change his ways he's going to die and he's been to all

of their funerals and i was thinking who goes to their doctor's funeral that's weird why are you doing that keith you're bloody weird and then my second thought after that was is it are you obliged to go to your doctor's funeral because i've missed loads if that's the case yeah i feel really bad about that i can't really sort of dr normal was my first sort of doctor who um isolated my asthma problem and and pretty much saved my life to be quite frank i don't know whether she's still around give her some props props, man. We can name an episode after her if you want. Dr. Nirmal from Hartlepool. I don't know where

she is now. I know she was part of some kind of very interesting religious sect. Well, Peter, we've got a very special surprise for you. We haven't. We haven't. She's not here. We haven't. I've got a little something for you. I did something for the first time ever this weekend weekend is this pot noodle related powerful no no i put some

cheese come on to that in a pot noodle yeah well i put some cheese coleslaw in a pot noodle it's it's it's it's a fine thing to do um uh my uh my loved one puts cheese in pot noodles and it's weird uh but i've adopted it as a new as a new thing to do and it's brilliant. Sorry, it's just too depressing. Why is that too depressing? My brain can't process it. I can't categorise it. It's a category error.

It's a category error. So when you talk about the things that your other half has brought to your relationship, the first thing that springs to mind is they introduced you to the idea of putting cheese into pot noodles and you carried it on by changing that to cheese coleslaw. Yeah, well, I didn't even know that cheese coleslaw existed. So it just seems to be a lot of cheese and a lot of cream.

Peter, you're a man of means. You don't need to be doing this. Cheese coleslaw. But it makes the juice, it makes the ramen juice all sort of creamy. It's brilliant. Oh, it's horrible. It's horrible.

Get yourself some cheese coleslaw. Get yourself some cheese coleslaw. Mix it in with a chicken pot noodle. King size if you can make it. I'm sorry, everyone. It's not what we're talking about. We're not talking about your your weird uh anger the way i treat my body i'm the weird one here and the black tail heroin

that's for pain relief and everyone listening knows it oh we've got a bad back oh and i got a bad stomach so he's oh he's got a bad stomach gotta have heroin you don't have to have heroin i'm sure there are better um um yeah uh i used a pressure washer for the first time oh yes in my life and i feel powerful i was at a garden party um somebody dropped a bottle of a bottle of gear and it smashed everywhere on the floor and my friend alex gave me his pressure washer to have a go on the pressure washer. And then I got really excited and started spraying the pressure washer water

up in the air. It went on the food. People weren't happy. People sort of found it funny and then they saw where the water was going and just sort of frowned a bit. So I'd like to apologize to everyone at the garden party. Are you the person,

you were there in the capacity there as this person who helps run the company that runs your friend's podcast? Yeah. Which makes it funnier. Why does that make it funnier? Because it's like, oh, how's the podcast going? Yeah, yeah, it's going really well. Yeah, I'll make it with that guy.

What, that guy over there? Who's soaking wet in all his clothes with a pressure washer over the food. Yeah, it was good. I sprayed water everywhere. Do you know what's really disappointing about a pressure washer? Is that when you get to distance, it can't, it's got no power.

So if you fire a pressure, a power washer at someone from say, say you had, we're in that scenario. You've got a fire hose. Yeah, I'm just saying, you fired that pressure washer at me but I was 10 feet away

I'm hardly even getting wet it's so disappointing no it's a range weapon I just I just like the fact that it was just so powerful and I

and I the trigger felt like a gun and it was kind of early on in the party I mean if it had happened later on I mean you know people might have been

a bit more into the fun of it but you know I could have fired it at the giant on, I mean, you know, people might have been a bit more into the fun of it, but, you know, I could have fired it at the giant Jenga. The bloke from, the bloke from Twilight turned up. What's his name?

Patterson. He could have seen me do some pressure washing. That would have been fun. I mean, he's the new, he's the new Batman. He might use it as one of his weapons.

What I'd like to have seen is Robert Patterson to walk into a party and the first thing he's seen is you firing your own toenails off with a pressure washer. Oi, have you seen this? Oi!

Oi! Yo! Blood vampire man. Vampire. Oi, like if it was filled with blood, you prick. I'd like it if every single time he tried to go and get a drink from the kitchen, you walked up to him and said

oh sorry we haven't got any blood left every single time I bet he's experienced that a lot to be honest from you

I'd hate to be that way alone Christ especially when men walk around with pressure washers in their hands

I like that we spend a lot of our time on this show just talking about inanities and weird stories we've thought about. We'll talk about Now Jeans for 10 minutes, and then you'll just throw in there, unannounced, that you're at a party with Robert Pattinson this weekend.

It's a nice thing for people. It's a nice little Easter egg. Don't know the guy. Never met him before. Didn't say hello. But I guess it's a bit of color from the weekend that you wouldn't usually get is he a fellow asthmatic the main i don't know let's find some water add pressure on him um before we head off on onto a break i've got something very important

to play you um over the weekend something big happened in the world of video games i know you like a little update every now and again but this one was gonna be a quite short one um a load of like secret um data got found on some nintendo servers and were as was released like wiki wiki leak style uh onto the internet now nintendo are famously very secretive about their um about their their their content about their about their ip about the stuff that they make and how they make their video games. But somehow somebody has managed to get hold of some very obscure and strange bits of Nintendo history. Nintendo fanboys and fangirls are so obsessive

with the minutiae of how their games are made that this has really set the internet alight. But the funniest part of it for me was somebody has found an original copy or original version rom of um mario 64 on the nintendo 64 um where they hadn't recorded charles martinez the voice of mario uh his vocal bits yet so they've just taken bits out of other cartoons um so super mario genuinely sounds a little bit mad uh these are some of the noises that mario 64 would have been made that would have made uh if uh if charles martin hadn't come on

as vocal talent yeah no oh it's the no i don't like like... Do the no again? Hang on. Yeah! No! No! No! No! I love the idea of a kid playing Super Mario 64 and then being like, hang on a minute. Is that my dad?

No! That's so strange, isn't it? By the way, that game is my wife's favourite game of all time. It's certainly one of my favourite games of all time. I'd love to get... Is there a situation available to me where I could buy a perfect condition N64 with all the stuff I need and all the games? Is that still possible?

Yeah, but I mean, just don't bother. Just buy something different. Just buy a little emulator thing. A little emulator box. No, but if I want to recapture my youth and really go like chest deep in the situation that my life is never going to be as good again, I'd like to do it that way.

Is that available? That would be very, very easy to do, yes. Is it not expensive, though? £100 for the all-in, if not cheaper. They're not even still making them anymore. How's that possible? Well, you just buy them on eBay, don't you? Because they were very popular. They were a mass market video game system, weren't they?

Like Mario 64, that was the game, wasn't it? It came free with it. I think it came free with loads of them, didn't it? So, yeah, you could indeed very cheaply and very easily manage your nostalgia. How do you feel about this idea? Because, for example, I was talking to my sister about this a while back

about the house that we grew up in. I think it came up for sale. I was driving past it a while back and it was up for sale. I said to my sister, we should go and look around it. Oh, like your prospective tenants? Yeah. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, but then we decided against it because I just thought,

do you know what? It's probably going to be a bit shit. And I remember it being great. And now I'm a lot bigger physically. And so I just think it might just completely ruin the kind of memory. And that's the thing with N64. If someone offered me one, I'd definitely take one. And I'd take Mario 64 and I'd take goldeneye and i'd play them and i'd be worried that after about 10 minutes

it would be oh this is a bit shit you know what i mean it will be a bit shit it will it will be a bit it's always a bit shit uh yeah just get it for switch it will be it'll be re-released by the on the switch fairly soon no doubt uh you reckon remember how rubbish it is. Yeah, definitely. They need to release Goldeneye and that bad boy as well. They don't, no, because that's rubbish as well. People forget it's rubbish. I never played it back in the 80s. All of that rubbish, it's just rubbish. Because you think everyone's expectations

has moved on to such an extent that it won't be worth it. Well, I was on the football and my WhatsApp group and I was talking about my love for the video game, the old Police Quest video games. Did I mention this last week? No, I think so, no.

Where it was sponsored, or rather every time you fucked up in the game, a policeman would be sat on the front bonnet of a police car giving you advice about how you could have gone a little bit better, you know, read the Miranda rights correctly or done a traffic stop uh in a better way i'll caught the murderer uh a little bit easier by following the clues um and and this guy uh this guy's name um

his name escapes me now but he daryl something or other oh yeah yeah i do remember yeah yeah and i was and i was just like and i was like I wonder who this Daryl Gates is. That's his name. Daryl Gates would give you advice after every level, whether you'd done well or done badly on this Police Quest 4 game and 5 as well, I think. Turns out he was this massive racist police chief who was fired after the Rodney King beatings.

And then he just went into a cushy little licensing deal with sierra uh and made video games under the police quest monica and i was like who is this respectable kind of guy police chief sponsored by police chief daryl gates made in in conjunction with police chief daryl gates how did he manage to swing this job? Unbelievable. And he was given it after this all happened? Yes, yeah. I believe this was like a post-retirement gig. If it wasn't, he still had some very, very, not even less than progressive,

just some awful views about black people. It's so weird. But we fed this and we don't question it because we're kids. And same with, I was talking on Wrestle.me about Mavis Beacon, you know, the typing lady. She was just a figurehead. She didn't actually exist.

Who is she? The lady on the... I've never heard of her. She used to teach people how to type. Mavis Beacon or Mavis Beacon, I think it's pronounced. Back in the day when kids and typists were learning to type she could teach you to touch type um using games you know like little little like the gamification of learning oh i'm just looking at now yeah yeah and it turns out the uh this beautiful kind of uh

african-american woman on the front cover uh who was mavis beacon um it was just a model that the developers just found in like a developers just found in a model's catalogue. I suppose I meant, yeah, she'll do. I mean, that's slightly different, though, isn't it? What do you mean? It's a slightly different situation to Big Daryl. Yes. Oh, yeah. No, massively. I'm just saying that as a kid, I thought

that Mavis Beacon was a real person. Because next thing you'll be telling me, the Colonel doesn't cook old chicken at KFC. Exactly. So you just get told these, not lies, but just kind of like, you think one thing is one, this man, this police chief is a respectable police chief who's got the rights to tell you. I mean, he probably does know the rules behind a Miranda rights and a perfect traffic stop.

It's more of the reducing blood flow to the head. I don't think Daryl's traffic stops were that good. Listen, I'm not an expert. He does very specific ones. Let's just put it that way. Very specific traffic stops. I understand why you're bringing this up and why you're pointing it out, but I don't want – because this is the thin end of the wedge. The thick end of the wedge is you tearing into McDonald's,

running it around the kitchen, unsupervised, screaming that you want your burger cooked by Ronald McDonald and no one else. Yeah, but I was dressed as a hamburger-less,

so I'd be part of it. You were dressed as a hamburger at that party at the weekend, weren't you? I was. Very enjoyable. I am looking forward to owning a pressure washer

in the future. I've got one. I've got one I've got one oh there we go I've got one other sound effect other than Super Mario

going no that is what that is what it sounds like is that what it sounds like when you attach the hose yeah some people just come around to my back garden

and go why has that guy playing the drum kit oh it's a pressure washer it's a pressure washer I think he's he's sucked up some bevels. Right, we'll be back in a second with some emails. We are going to read some out this week.

We sometimes are a little bit lax and we managed to get two out before we have to chip off. That's the tagline of this show. We sometimes are a little bit lax. All right, we'll be back in a second. Jack Mate's Happy Hour is back for a brand new season. It's the podcast where we talk to some of the most exciting people in the world, from Ricky Gervais.

In some ways, fame makes you a better person. You know, it's like, I don't believe in God. I don't believe in God's watching me. But I know someone with a bad focus. To undercover police officers. Can you see the fading scar there, gentlemen? Yes. That's where I was stabbed in the neck by a drug dealer once.

Or we just talk about whatever's making us laugh right now. When you think back to school kid banter, like, it's well funny because of how immature it is. We had this teacher called Mr McGibbon, and he had this big cushion that he was teaching us how to rugby tackle on. He just ran up to it, rugby tackled it, but landed on top of it.

And one of the kids shouted, it's not your wife, sir. That is funny. Listen to Jack Makes Happy Hour on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your pods. Jack Makes Happy Hour is a staccato production and we're back it's the luke and pete show if you want to get in touch with the show how could people get into the show luke at the look of pete show i've just come to the local

mcdonald's and we normally just sat in there with a happy meal each uh pete goes pete burger sometimes nuggets me uh carrot crunchies loads of fries and two fruit shoots so um no hello at luke and pete show.com is the email address you always email in in your droves we absolutely love hearing from you even some of the emails that we we received that aren't suitable for the show are invariably very enjoyable to read so thank you very much for that and when i say that they're um they're not suitable for the show what i mean by that is you can't email in fully naming someone in your town that you think's a pedophile for example no we can't read we're not that kind of sure no and we wouldn't anyway and you also can't say that you know your teacher mr so-and-so, once beat you up

or that you had the idea first for, you know, the iPod. Facebook, right, yeah. All that kind of stuff. It doesn't make the cut, but we still enjoy reading it because it makes us feel part of a similar community. If you've got a story about a fruit shoot, let us know, all right? Absolutely. A fruit shoot would be an excellent game you could play

with a pressure washer. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Everyone knows that it was Pete who actually invented the iPod. So don't take that away from him. I've opened up a few in my time. William Darby has got in touch.

I hope he's not going to suddenly say, don't say my second name. Will in Beijing. Will in Beijing. Good day, gentlemen. I hope that you're both doing well and I'm getting too burned out by the amount of podcasting you've been doing, technology and the quarantine, lockdown, whatever

state everyone is in in the moment. I'm probably a bit late to the party on this one, but I was listening to the mathematical argument for how many holes there are in a straw, so I thought I'd try and answer the question from a linguistics perspective. Oh, God. Really, William? Really? Imagine you get a straw for your beverage.

You put it in your drink. You slurp up the goodness. No problem. Your friend, meanwhile, has a defective straw. Tries to slurp up the goodness, but the drink comes out of a small round gap in the wall of the straw. I hate that. Your friend will most likely...

Yeah, that is a pain in the bum. Your friend will most likely say something like, my straw has a hole in it. The use of the singular article A in that sentence implies that were it not for said small round hole, that there would be no holes in the straw. Therefore, we can conclude that a fully functioning straw has no holes. And it's right there that I go, William, that's not how that can work. What you've concluded, what you think you've concluded is that, but what you've actually

concluded is that you associate with morons. Don't have a go at him. He's clearly some kind of linguist. Maybe he's teaching English out there. He says, whilst English is a famously descriptive language, i.e. if something is wrong but can still be understood, it is considered non-standard. I would argue that the first statement is the standard one,

and therefore a straw has no holes. I've just gone back to work after six months off, and I finally got my linguistic brain switched back on. Were we speaking in a linguistic fashion or a scientific fashion? I think we may have been erring on the side of the second. But, Will, in Beijing, stay safe, look after yourself. Thank you. I enjoyed that email.

Yeah, no, I enjoyed the email. I enjoyed the idea that, you know, the semantics of like Chomsky or Wittgenstein saying that, I think effectively saying that you can't feel something that you're not able to articulate. If you can't articulate it, then does it really exist? That kind of, I mean, I'm paraphrasing. That kind of stuff is interesting, but I don't think just because one of his mates says a phrase, it proves anything. That's what I'm paraphrasing. That kind of stuff is interesting, but I don't think just because one of his mates says a phrase,

it proves anything. That's what I'm getting at. If someone is at a garden party and he sees a man waving a pressure washer around at around about three o'clock in the afternoon, spraying beer off a patio, a cement patio, how do you articulate your feelings there? Yeah. Confusion. Some people just don't have the language do they exactly they don't know they wouldn't have the language or the other way with all to um yeah to be able to explain it but do you understand what i mean like for

example for example if you if you're it's quite an interesting sort of area of discussion that if your brain has never learned the words to articulate a feeling you may have it's it becomes hugely problematic right because you can't tell anyone what you're what you're feeling because there's no words to describe it and so that that area of discussion is like really interesting in principle because you would just think that we are born with all these universal things that affect all of us and then we just tell people about them when we need to but if we can't then we can't you can describe it but it might not be accurate and and so read you know sort of read a book quite a lot and hear uh you know a feeling or a um a sense or a or something you've thought in the past being explained in a beautiful, articulate way

and you go, oh, this person's amazing. But they're amazing because they're describing something that you've experienced in your past and you've never really thought to give it a word. Yeah, I think that's always a really enlightening and interesting situation. The way, without trying to, I've just finished a really interesting bit,

which I'll come on to in a minute, but without trying to go down, make, you know, installing a downturn into the show, I don't mean this to kind of bring the mood down, but very, very briefly, I can remember feeling as a teenager, things that I now recognize as probably as depression. But at the time I didn't know that.

Like I just had no frame of reference and i would attribute it to other kind of quite trivial things and so what i mean and there's no i don't mean to you know i'm not trying to canvass sympathy or anything like that i'm just trying to illustrate that that is a very small and quite inconsequential example of what i'm talking about now i have the tools to understand identify and actually articulate some of the stuff i mean back back imagine i mean and people have heard me articulate on this show for years and let's be honest it's not that pretty imagine what it was like 20 years ago so i think i think particularly when you get to other cultures and other areas of the world that perhaps

have completely different outlook on things to us it would manifest itself in a number of different ways does that make sense? Yeah, massively. The book I was going to talk about that I finished on Saturday was a book by Robert Harris called Selling Hitler about the fraudulent Hitler diaries that manifested themselves in the 80s. Have you heard that story?

It's a mad story. Was the Daily Mail taken in? It was the Sunday Times. The Rupert Murdoch-owned Sunday Times in the UK. But it was, I mean, essentially, for those who are listening who aren't aware of the story, I'd recommend you go and read it because you're interested in the intersection between kind of history and how the media works

and how the human mind works. It's a fascinating example because people wanting to believe yeah basically so much stuff being continually basic stuff being continually overlooked just because they wanted it to be true because yeah because what they would have what they would have got out of it and it was essentially all just being all just being like uh fraudulently created by some guy in a shop in like in some part of germany and and it passed so many different tests like the one thing that's really brought into um brought to bear and has a lot of question marks hanging over it as far as i

understand is the art of studying handwriting and how subjective it is. Because this guy, Pete, was doing fraudulent Hitler, Adolf Hitler writing, handwriting, and it passed, I think, three or four well-versed handwriting checks by experts. But it is that thing. But it's that thing going, oh, maybe he was just having a... Because it is subjective.

Oh, maybe he'd hurt his hand that day. Or maybe he was just having an off day. Maybe his S's were just a little bit longer than he... Oh, he he was just having a... Because it is subjective. Oh, maybe he'd hurt his hand that day. Or maybe he was just having an off day. Maybe his S's were just a little bit longer than he... Oh, he loved an S. No, one of them said that... Because I think, and I'm not an expert on this at all, but I think that it's widely accepted that for the last few years of his life,

Hitler was suffering from Parkinson's disease. Right. And so his writing, handwriting, was suffering from parkinson's disease right and so his writing handwriting was affected by that they would say but he famously part of the reason it was such a big scoop was because he never really wrote anything down and so people thought they had the completely wrong impression of him uh and but actually what has happened he had produced 60 volumes of these handwritten diaries and the handwriting one of the handwriting experts was saying yeah you can see from how his handwriting has deteriorated over the years that he was

definitely suffering from this the person who wrote this was definitely suffering from some kind of illness which was further circumstantial evidence that he had actually written them and it's just some bloke just knocking off tired diaries by the way mate yeah just some bloke knocking off diaries the paper and the binding of which he just bought in the local shop in like the 80s. And it is staggering how far it went. It cost the publishing company, I think, something like 10 or 11 million marks at the time.

Brilliant. Incredible fraudulent activity. It's a fascinating story. Very enjoyable. Mate, I've got an email here. I mean, to be honest, nowadays, anybody fraudulently writing It's a fascinating story. Very enjoyable. Mate, I've got an email here. I mean, to be honest, nowadays anybody fraudulently writing Hitler's Day, it'd probably be quite big on YouTube,

to be quite frank. Well, that's the frightening thing. Find them now. The frightening thing is about that, reading that in a 2020 context, the sheer, it makes you think like nothing's changed. So almost 40 years later,

the willingness of people to essentially put the idea they want something to be true over and above the facts of the matter is obviously there for everyone to witness in in modern times right so and and the guy who was being the kind of conduit between the fraudster and the main publications that were interested was this kind of quite eccentric journalist who had long suspected of being a bit too close to the surviving Nazis in Germany in the 80s, to say the least.

And to who kind of... You know what it reminded me of? Have you seen the film ID? No. So basically basically a guy goes undercover as a football hooligan and to cut a long story short i'm not going to apologize for spoilers because it was in the 80s um the film was made um he essentially becomes one of them and it's a bit like that with this guy essentially but it's a fascinating story it's called selling hitler by robert harris i'd recommend it so it's a really easy read it'll take you a couple of days

if you get into it and And it's well worth reading. I think quite an underplayed part of essentially the biggest media scandal probably of that time, particularly in that area. And a lot of big hitting names involved and being duped by it. I mean, Murdoch always didn't give a shit because it didn't cost him any money and he got a huge amount of circulation out of it. He's obviously completely shameless on that front. That's their business model, isn't it?

From Pizzagate to whatever the hell's going to be happening in the next election from the Russian and Chinese deep fakes and all the bollocks that's going to come along. They'll run them because at the end of the day, we all find out that it's not true or we all find out that the video or the audio has been doctored in 2020 and then we'll go, oh, well, that was exciting for a bit and no one will get in trouble for it.

The genie's out of the bottle. Yeah. Well, apparently there's only three quotes that Rupert Murdoch has ever been on record as making around the Hitler Diaries scandal and they are as follows. Struth, mate. Sorry? Str follows. Nothing ventured, nothing. Sorry.

Struth, mate. No, yeah. Ridley Dinks was one of them. No, it was, they are as follows. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. That's the first one. Number two is after all. That was also Hitler's motto.

Number two is after all, we are in the entertainment business. Yeah. And number three is circulation all, we are in the entertainment business. Yeah. All right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And number three is, circulation went up and it stayed up. We didn't lose money or anything like that. So he didn't give a shit.

No, of course he doesn't. None of them do. And it's kind of, I mean, the newspaper empresarios, not the Australians. You hacked your hands off my diary? Yeah. Mate, I've got one more quick email we'll squeeze in before we go. You hacked your hands off my diary?

Yeah. Mate, I've got one more quick email we'll squeeze in before we go. It is by Australian man Ray Dixon. There we go. Oh, righto. He says, firstly, thanks for mentioning the Dickie Power battery on the show, especially as I was so behind the curve on that. He likes a Dickie Power battery. Good for him.

He says, secondly, I don't want to be greedy, but I've got another tidbit of information for you. your most recent episode um a friendship of mountains which was the tuesday episode last week he said you mentioned the ibis hotel chain i believe this is a reference to the ibis bird and i believe you correct to pronounce it ibis um so what he's saying is the hotel chain is named after a bird weirdly down in australia where i'm from the australian white ibis is known as the bin chicken oh no bin chicken mate is usually found rummaging through bins in cities looking for food even stranger despite making a mess and being generally annoying they've actually become a bit of an underdog hero in australian pop culture

with bin chicken tattoos crowdfunded inflatable bin chicken pool toys, street art featuring bin chickens, and a brilliant but also awful David Attenborough-starred mockumentary, which is attached to the YouTube channel. Maybe it's fitting that the Ibis Hotel chain chose that name. It's the In the Australian Bird of the Year 2017 poll. Yes, that's a thing. The bin chicken came second after the Australian magpie, which will, during the whole of spring,

aggressively swoop and attack people anywhere, even remotely near its nest. I think we probably drink too much down here. Keep up the good work, Ray. So the bin chicken is the second most popular bird in Australia as per a 2017 poll, also known as the ibis, which the hotel chain is named after. I thought that was quite interesting.

Enjoyable. It's got lovely long beaks. Perfect for bin dipping, isn't it? It looks like a sickle, doesn't it, the beak? Mm. Yeah, they'd make a perfect death character. Would you be as keen to... So here's one for you, Pete.

If you had to stay on an Ibis again... Yeah. ..and it was, say say 50 quid a night, would you accept staying there for free but for the whole night you had to share the room with an ibis? I mean

it might just sort of, you never know with an ibis. Could you sleep? I could probably just rest I guess and sleep. But would you be able to relax? No, because it would peck my eyes out. It would probably think my eyes were some two delicious eels or something, like something delicious. Bag it straight in the bathroom, shut the door,

you've saved yourself 50 quid. I reckon I'd kill an ibis. I mean, yeah. You can't kill it. That's not part of it. You'd snap its neck in the first minute you're in there. I would just rubber band its

wings and beak and maybe sedate it. It's a lot of hassle, isn't it? I don't think you should be putting a rubber band around birds' beaks. Become friends with it and romance it. And spend my night

that way. A bit of dancing and romancing? A bit of dancing and romancing, a bit of Netflix and Bill, eh? This has been the Luke and Pete show. We've got to get out of here because that has an idea and also possibly... I think that's one of the funniest things you've ever said. Yeah.

Cheers, mate. If you want to get with the show, as always, it's hello at lupinpeachshow.com. We'll be back on Thursday for this shite from one bin chicken to another. We'll see you very soon. This was a Stakhanov production.