The Luke and Pete Show - Prostates and pensions

Episode Date: October 24, 2024

Pete recoils as Luke shares the news of a group of Yorkshire men who’ve met for a pint every week for 56 years – reigniting Pete’s infamous commitment issues. Meanwhile, Luke is left baffled by how anyone could forget the name of a book they’re currently reading.And if that’s not enough, brace yourselves for the main event: Donny treats you to the unparalleled thrill of a live nose hair trim. Yep, you heard that right.Email: [e-mail] or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So, Harry, we've got a second series of our hit podcast. We need to make it bigger, bolder and better than the first one. So come on mate, what are we thinking? Hmm. Wait, what about if we teach people everything they need to know about life itself? Yeah, that's a great idea actually and quite easy for us to do that. Doesn't sound too bad, does it? Well, I'm Harry Clark. And I'm Paul Gorton. Join us for Harry and Paul's guide to life, the podcast where we break down the do's don'ts and the what were they thinking moments of adulting. One absurd life lesson at a time. We're here to give you the advice no one's

asked for but yet everyone secretly needs. So whether you're an over thinking expert or just trying to discover the meaning of life, maybe even you just want to know how to get a duvet sheet on. We've got you covered and if your life falls apart you can trust us when we say we sincerely apologise. Search Harry and Paul's Guide to Life in your podcast app to subscribe and listen now. The Haftung, it is the Luke and Pete Show. Pete Donaldson with you, join me Mr. Lukey Moore. Lukey Moore, how the devil are you on this fine? Could be any day, depending on when we release it. Not bad, thanks, yeah, could be any day,

couldn't it, Peter? Could be any day. Presumably you're starting today's show off with a full and frank apology to not just our listeners, but to producer Taylor as well, who does work very hard. I think that the listeners should be apologizing to the Luke and Pete Show, to be quite frank, because they have been greedy piggies, and they've opened their presence too early. You just dangled the carrot, didn't you?

Yeah, what are you going to open on the Monday if you're opening your podcast on a Sunday? Pathetic behaviour. I think you're right. I think your error of releasing the show accidentally early should rightly be seen as just a little temptation. A little, yeah. A temptation of life. And if listeners have seen that a day early, what they should be doing is saying, I acknowledge that episode has been released a day early, but I won't be touching it till tomorrow. It is but Christmas

Eve. It's basically that those men in a retreat in Bali where they're not allowed to drink alcohol, they eat meat with their tops off and they work out and talk about their investments. That's the kind of- Of which they have none. That's the kind of, the only investments they're into is investing themselves into each other

by the way the thing is filmed to be quite frank. I would say that, yeah, it's very much on the list. And the less said about that, the better. Yes, this is a look and picture. I Regaled producer Taylor who had a little time off. She's come back and I'm basically just talking about German companies with limited liabilities the old GmbH I see GmbH all the time but turns out that's just there just there

movies you're watching presumably is it? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I can't remember the last time I watched a German movie No Probably, probably um, Awkward on the Western Front probably Well yeah I'm trying to think what uh That's a German one

Yeah is it? Right Is that what you're laughing at me for? Famous German, famous German films It's Eric Maria Remarque and it was made recently in a... It was brilliant by the way. Absolutely brilliant. The book's fantastic as well. The most recent remake. But all quite interesting is a western... It's an American film filmed in Germany. I'm talking about a German written, German released film. I don't know what, I don't know what, the Stalingrad from 1993. That's the only one I seem to have watched.

No, it's a German movie, in German, made by a German, in Germany, with German actors in it. The remake? Yeah, 2022 movie, yeah. Right, okay. Right. Okay. Why are you questioning it? I'm just going through it Sorry screenplay by Admittedly a German man and also Leslie Patterson

Leslie Patterson who is not only a screenwriter film producer also a Scottish triathlete sounds like his own I didn't realize you were such a German movie purist and you want to be very careful when you go around saying that. Also it's a sheep. Good, good stuff. How German is it though? I don't want to hear you saying that when it comes to movies. If you're going to google anything just google best German movies. I just did and I'm looking at it and I can't seem to see any that I've actually watched which is There you go, that's a famous one investor Nick nurse all quiet in the West in front It's in there is it's in there. It's in there. I expect you to complain about that. Oh for crying out loud

Oh, yeah, I was I was reading a Book which I don't really don't do and when I do it. I'm very annoyed when it's rubbish. It's I'm reading a book which I really don't do and when I do it I'm very annoyed when it's rubbish. I'm reading a book set in Japan by a Japanese author and I do think Japanese writing does lose a lot in translation. Like a lot. How do you know that? It becomes very basic and I'm like you can't be writing this, you know, like, this kind of like, basically, I suppose, in... I can't... it says, using the word basically five times. You can't be writing so simply in your own home language. There's no lyricism to it. There's no rhyme. There's no kind of, like,

there's no colour to it. And it's not helped by the fact that the writer seems to want to And it's not helped by the fact that the writer seems to want to pepper this crime novel with a lot of shit about timetables, train timetables. He's obsessed with fucking timetables, that's all he talks about. Are you gonna name the novel? Are you gonna name it? I will name the novel. You know what? I will name the novel. What is it? Google? Is it? Oh, go away! Suspected spam spam I've got suspected spam on my phone for crying out loud. Why can't you remember the name of a book you're currently reading? Because I am a very forgetful man book there you go play books that's in my list that's in my list Tokyo Express by Seichu Matsumoto so Seichu I'm so sorry I am not

enjoying your love letter to the Kamakura train timetables. It's very frustrating. Have you read any Murakami? Yeah, I think he wants to fuck his mom. I think he's a lot of, there's a lot of sort of sexy moms in there. There's a lot of- But I've never read any of his,

but is he, does he write in English or Japanese? I think he writes, yeah, I think he writes entirely in Japanese. It's, look, translation and, what do you call it translation? Like the cultural kind of things that go into writing is such a huge thing. It's not just about translating word for word it's also about instilling a sense of feeling and culture into it. The world of translation, like literary translation is really really ruthless and really competitive. It's a fucking fascinating industry because as you've already intimated there, there's

a certain amount of flair that has to come with it because you have to make big decisions about what the author was trying to say. And in many cases, the author is obviously dead. And also translation is a big part of it. And I guess if you're a writer writing in one language and you want to translate it to usually English, I suppose, you must be wanting to choose the best translator, you're the best person for the job and they must be the ones that have had a real success story elsewhere I suppose. So it must be like being a footballer, it must be like being a footballer.

You want to be signed, what book are you being signed to next? Say again, what do you mean, for me to read? As in like, say you were like a really successful translator of say Russian to English and you're doing all those classic Russian novels. Yeah. I mean that would be the very top of it I reckon because a lot of people say that you know all the kind of Dostoevsky, Tolstoy, Solzhenitsyn stuff for example it's really you lose so much reading it in English and you need to learn read it in Russian to get the full kind of depth of it but

obviously I'm never gonna learn Russian. No exactly and with the and with Russian novels in particular they always have a cast of about 50 characters in it. Every book is about 4,000 pages. Every book is 4,000 pages. Every book is... I mean, is it just pound for pound? It's just really good value for money. Do you know, is that what the Ruble demands? They just demand like a book that can be, you know, used as a pretty hefty house brick.

Yeah, I suppose you mean maybe they just want to make sure that everything's covered. I mean, I've I've I've read a short Dostoevsky book. I've read The Gambler, which is actually not that long. Right. It's quite interesting. But obviously, I read it in English. Yeah, I think even if you were to learn Russian as a second language, you still arguably not going to get Russian as a second language, you're still arguably not going to get the most out of it, right?

I mean, I get it. You're just not going to know it enough, are you? No, and also, yeah, you would be, you'd have to be pretty deep into the language to understand it, I suppose. So yeah, it's what a gift and what a hard-won gift these translators have. But congratulations to them. Congratulations to them that you've taken your entire life to learn something that stupid people will tell you will be replaced by a computer. But it never will.

Yeah, I can speak with authority on this matter chiefly because I am probably the one of the world's best podcast translators working with you for so long. Exactly. Yeah, you could. There's no curve ball that anyone could, because I've worked with people on podcasts. You can't handle the heat. Little shows, can't handle the heat, can't handle the heat. Can't handle the big daddy don, and they just. Can't handle the anecdote, but which always starts with,

who's that guy. Who's that guy. Who died on the cross. Who died on the cross, not watched. But it is, but it is like, they will, I'll say something and they'll go, not like in a kind of, oh isn't Pete creative? No, Pete is forgetful, stupid and cannot form sentences properly. You're not stupid.

You are just the world's bluntest instrument. It's a brilliant instrument, but it needs sharpening. Right, okay. Every day. Why would you need it? Some instruments don't need sharpening, do they? Yours does. Who wants a sharpened bassoon? Not me. For crying out loud. I've noticed you talk a lot about bassoons recently. Yeah, I don't know, it was just a big vibe in school, everyone seemed to play the bassoon. I've never even seen a bassoon in real life.

Really? Wow. No, I don't think so. Right, imagine a clarinet. Can you see the clarinet in your mind's eye? I know what it looks like, Peter. I know what it looks like. I've experienced it in real life. Well, just go and see a clarinet and just move reclassified. It's just a big clarinet, isn't it? I've never placed my hand on the instrument. No, it's not, because soon you blow from the side, don't you?

It's like a little metal thing that comes out the side. Clarinet you're playing from the top. That's an accoutrement. That is just a little... Is that an adaptation? That's a guild of the lily. That's just a little pipe that goes into the bigger twiglet. So don't worry about it.

I'm crying out loud. Yeah, and what's the sound? I assume it's a very basic, kind of impressive deep sound, is it? It's like a... It doesn't sound like that, does it? It does! I mean, nobody likes it. It's just a deep...

Does it sound like an ogre in a medieval film that you've just been woken up? Oh, what have you come round here, disturbing my beautiful underground home? That's how it sounds. Where's my little metal pipe? Where's my little metal pipe? Little metal pipe. Oh dear. You were just saying before the show that Luke, you're an unfinished symphony.

You're an unfinished marvel. You're the Sagrada Familia and you need help to get over the line. I am. Can I change the subject ever so slightly, Peter? You're the Sagrada Familia and you need help to get over the line. I am. Can I change the subject ever so slightly, Peter, and say that I've started watching a TV series called From, F-R-O-M. From? Okay.

Have you heard of it? Please don't spoil me because I've only seven episodes in. I've not watched it so how the fuck could I? Because you're going to bring up the Wikipedia page, you're going to read the episode guide, and you're going to fucking say it on the show. Who's in it? Just read the premise bit. I like Harold Perrano, he's very good. What else is he in?

He, I've seen him in, what have I seen him in? Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh remember but he's very good. Yes, are you enjoying it? He's in Sons of Anarchy apparently. Why are you enjoying it? So the premise of it is that these people live in a kind of odd town in the middle of nowhere'sville USA. Actually, you know what, I'll just read the premise that is listed on the official site. Right. A nightmarish town somewhere in the United States that traps those who enter. Unwilling residents strive to stay alive, plagued by terrifying nocturnal creatures from the surrounding

forest and search for a way out, looking for secrets hidden within the town and beyond and hoping against hope that one day his next leap will be his leap home not that bit was quantum leap quantum leap yeah quantum leap nice anyway it's almost a bit like lost if it was good and terrifying both of those things are true everyone loved lost it is one tested yeah everyone loved lost it was brilliant I sacked it off after the first season because probably because I didn't do all the XFM tie-in marketing opportunities that you did I don't think think we did much Lost work out from memory. I played the video game right the way through, that was rubbish. Is there a video game?

There was a video game for Lost, yeah, it wasn't very good, but it was very easy to complete and you could get Xbox 360 achievements if you bash through it quickly. I think I've said it before, the main man, Matthew, whatever his little name is, he... Oh yeah, he's a very problematic character for me isn't he. Is that why we don't see him in anything anymore? Yep. Very interesting Peter and disappointing to hear. Matthew Fox he was really famous at one point wasn't he? He was very yeah I don't know what he did after Matthew Fox I don't know what he did after Lost but he's universally unloved.

OK. Well, anyway, from is interesting. I'd like you to watch it. I think you might like it. OK, I will. I bloody will. I think you might like it. It's quite interesting to think about where it's going to go next, but I won't reveal too much because I don't want to spoil people who fancy watching it because there's nothing worse than people telling you everything that happens. But I'm enjoying it, Peter, is the main thing. I was going to also say to you, why didn't you like that link I sent you earlier about the men in Yorkshire who've met for a pint every week for 56 years? Because you're afraid of commitment.

I just think that they probably haven't done every week for 56 years. They haven't. They've missed 12 in 56 years. They've missed 12 in 56 years. Which you'd know if you'd read the article which I carefully shared with you. But I just want, I just, the inflexibility, you know me, I like an inflexible calendar, sorry I like a flexible calendar, it's that inflexibility that I can't fathom and I want to hear from the, I want to hear from the other partners in this situation, the men's wives and girlfriends and husbands and stuff. Yeah, you would do too at a push and you'd never be seen again well one of the men

one of the men in the pictures look like dirty den so I'm not sitting around I'm sitting around a pub thing with dirty den because he might put his finger in his mouth get his little baby Guinness out that's's Leslie Grantham, not erm... Leslie Grantham. Not erm... Not the people in this picture. He's dead himself. And he's dead anyway.

He died a few years ago, Leslie Grantham, so you can say what you want about him. Yeah. What were the reasons why they didn't do those 12 though? Like that 12 one? I think one was, I think they had to go to Covid for a while. Oh, of course, yes. Because Covid was part of it, right? They had to go to COVID for a while. Oh, of course, yes. Because COVID was part of it, right? They had to kind of do it.

I think they switched it to a monthly Zoom, which again, you simply wouldn't attend. You simply wouldn't attend. For, I think, once a month for a while. And then that was part of it. But they're in South Yorkshire. They do it every week. They've done it for 56 years.

They're all now in their early 80s. And they've been doing it since 1968. Yeah, that is very sweet. They've been meeting. I mean, that is absolutely wild, isn't it? They said, we once talked about football and sex and these days it's more prostates and pensions. They do have an adorable time. And a lot of them have switched to stout

which I think is important at any age really because you will have problems with antacids and procuring them. You're not going to do that though because you only love a really, really fizzy lager. Yeah, correct. I did have some Newcastle Brown when I was up in Arnick and I forgot, that was my first taste of drinking. It's a miracle I even kept going to be honest, but as an older man I can appreciate the, I can appreciate it a little bit. How many pints of fizzy, really cold fizzy lager can you tolerate these days? Well these days, I don't really drink't drink all that much to be honest. If I'm on an absolute tear up, fine.

Oh, what's a dance and absolute tear up these days? Five or six might go down and then let's move on to cocktails. But like, in a, like, another time, I can do two and then I'm like, ugh. This is gonna cost me the next day, isn't it? These lads reckon, these lads have reckon they've done a total of nine years in a pub. If you add all the

time up it counts to nine years. I know it's socialising but there is something to be said for not doing that. I think in all the years I've known you, I've never just sat in a pub with you normally and had a beer. No. You're always moving, you're always stood up, you're always looking at something else, you're always investigating things. You're always going to the shop and bringing something back.

There's always like turning up, like a delivery turning up. There's never static. Static drinking, yeah. No, there's never, in anything you never just the only time you ever do it is when you're recording and even then you're fucking thinking about a million different things at once. But it's the intense, it's, it's, it's, I just, maybe I just find them a little intense before a couple of pints. Maybe I just, maybe you want

to keep the snipers guessing. That's all I'm saying. Gotta keep grooving. You've, you've, you've gone to a bit of a sniper based interest recently, haven't you? No! Yes you have! The last two times I've interacted with you, you've mentioned snipers. Be honest! Be honest! I've not mentioned snipers!

You and Vish were talking about the Washington sniper. No, I was not! That's not true! And Vish was talking about the Washington sniper and Vish was saying that they couldn't catch him because he was actually, he wasn't firing from up high, he was firing from a modified car. And then you made it weird by getting really intense about it. Yeah, well I wanted to look at how he'd modified the, and I thought it might have just shot out like the, I don't know, the Volkswagen Logo or whatever hell car he had, but it wasn't, it was like this big, really obvious hole in a car. And I was like,

this is less impressive. Like the more I'm hearing about this guy, they probably should have caught him. So yeah, in summary. I mean, the DC sniper attacks were horrific. Yeah, cost of it. And, and, and so Vish, I don't know why Vish brought it up, but then you went on a real deep dive about it, didn't you? Yeah, because I was just interested about the relationship between Sniper A and Sniper B was fascinating and it's just like, it's an interesting little, look, I mean most True Crime Bloody podcasts get like three series out of this. And because we are supposed to be better than that, we don't talk about the DC sniper attacks, the beltway sniper attacks, a series of coordinated shootings that occurred during three weeks in October 2002. But I remember that stuff going on. I remember it being really sort of like, fuck, what's going to happen? Like, is he ever going to be stopped?

Is this person ever going to be stopped? It's absolutely awful. Yeah, it was, it wasn't ideal, was it? But you were particularly disappointed with the quality of the workmanship on the sniper hole in the back of the car. On the hole in the car, yeah. I was very disappointed with John Allen Muhammad and Lee Boyd Malvo. I will say one thing for those names. It's absolute Fox News dream, isn't it? They're going, oh, his name's John Allen and Lee Boyd. Wait. His last name's Muhammad and that one's called Malvo, come on. To be fair, I think that is actually their names.

Yeah, I know, but it just sounds like, it starts off like very American names so they can't blame on immigrants, but then they get to slightly more exotic ones. But yeah, it was a real shame, that whole situation, but a fascinating, a fascinating. John Allen Mahamud was executed in 2009, Peter. Was he now? Right, okay, 41 at the time. He got the chair, I think.

I mean, that Lee Boygoat, 17 years old at the time, I mean, there has to be. He didn't get the chair. He wouldn't have got the chair at that age, good God. I mean, yeah. He's life in prison. Well, a real shame. Is it quite weird that actually because he, I'm just reading this now, because he was convicted in Virginia, he got to choose how he would be executed. Right, okay. Leith injection or the chair, the mercy seat as

Nick Cave would call it, and he refused to select a method so a method was selected for him and so it was, I don't know how they did it, but it was a lethal injection anyway. Should we be comfortable in 2009 as a species, people being electrocuted to death? Yeah, it's insane. It seems, why is that still a thing? You'd assume lethal injection is the most humane way to do it, no? Yeah, there's lots of talk about how that's not really done that very well on many occasions either. I mean, the whole thing is a complete minefield, isn't it?

Of course it is. That would be a good way to do it. Because you've got to keep running. As you can tell by my sincere and loud laughter that was tremendously disrespectful. The thing that you pointed out about the DC sniper's van is that he had a little multimeter in the back like I do. Yeah, I feel as though yeah. Apart from a sniper with a gun, the boot of the Washington sniper's car is very familiar

to me. Can I just say, when I started looking at the details, because I couldn't really remember it, it was ages ago, I was picking up a lot of Dals and Energy to the point where I wanted to stop. I just wanted to stop. I just thought, Leoncy don't need it. They've got no problems. You'll never catch me, Charles Moose, Chief of the Montgomery County Department of Police. Charles Moose, fantastic. Fantastic. Alright Peter, let's have a break when we come back we'll go back to more kind of stable ground and talk about the batteries that people have

sent in to us for assessment. Great for a multimeter. Working in the trades is intense it can be stressful and painful some guys use drugs and alcohol to cope. But when we ask for help, we see someone struggling with addiction. Our silence speaks volumes. See how you can help or get help at Canada.ca slash ease the burden. A message from the government of Canada. It's the Luke and Pete show. Every single Thursday we talk about all things batteries. I hope the show's come out on a Thursday or else heads will roll as they say.

Trent has got in touch. Can the battery daddy handle such a power cross-promotion battery? G'day lads, Trent here from Ocean Grove in Australia. Long time listener, multiple battery mail etc etc. Can I stretch the new player rules and get a second new player notch on my butt with my latest entry that I technically didn't find in a device? I present to ye, the Paw Patrol Double A's. An unholy union of Kine problem solvers and portable power. I was looking for some chocolate in a store here in Australia called NQR that sells nearly out-of-date food and other weird off-brand items at discount. I acquired

both the chocolate and the batteries purely in hope to get into the much coveted Battery Daddy with a bending of the rules that Mayor Goodway's from the Paw Patrol TV show Bumbling Attempts that Government would approve of. Stare Rad Legends impeach Mayor Goodway. It's good stuff and a beautiful picture of the Paw Patrol. Not Prime, not Mint in the Box because he's taken one of them out. I think once upon a time we didn't allow branded batteries in did we because they're not necessarily the brand but I think it's up to you really I think we've recently relaxed the rules on that so I think the Paw Patrol boss, Paw Patrol batteries have to have to make their way

into the battery daddy they're lovely lovely looking things to be honest have you ever are you familiar with what the Paw Patrol do? Yeah, so it's quite a, not controversial, but it's a talking point in our household. Right, that dogs should not have jobs. Jobs, no. If the head of the Paw Patrol had a Washington sniper running around, they would simply not catch them. Although dogs do chase cars. So it is quite, I mean depending on which way you look at it, it's a semi-controversial show. Right. Because some people say that, you know, it's copaganda basically. Right, okay. It's like, while you were just reading that,

I just pulled this up and said that some people- All dogs are pigs. Some people who, yeah, some people who've criticized it when it comes to, obviously because it's a children's show for very, very young children. It's like, someone's argued that it encourages complicity in a neoliberal system. Right.

Which depicts the state and politicians as unethically incompetent while Poor Patrol Corporation is a corporation in the show, isn't trusted with all the crime fighting and conservation that happens. It's kind of a weird, I think that's probably a bit much and I think kids obviously don't care, but it depends how much you believe in the idea that kids are being, they're learning every single minute of every day about everything Yeah, okay, is it is it sensible to kind of do they link? Do they link a private police fire and ambulance force? Do they link that with the the idea of capitalism or did you sort of go? That's the police dog that is a fire dog and that is a presume. I'm looking at the other dog

I presume it's some kind of ambulance dog or a course guard or something. Ambulance dog, that's what they're called as well. Ambulance dog, little ambulance dog. Fire dog, ambulance dog. To be honest, we don't really watch it that much because my son won't, my son doesn't really have the attention span yet. My nephew absolutely loves it. And so you've got like, you've got different aspects of society really, because you've

got Rubble, who's the kind of construction worker. You've got, you know, you've got like you've got different aspects of society really because you got rubble who's the kind of construction worker? You've got right, you know, you've got like it's just different I mean like one of them rocky does like him he picks up all the recycling and stuff Right. Okay, so there's been men involved as well Services aren't they these are just kind of like yeah, I think so. This is public public public funded services. I think it's probably fine. I This is public, publicly funded services I suppose. I think it's probably fine. I think it's also important to understand that like, you know, despite all the criticism that happens and a lot of time it's warranted, you know, police officers do do important

stuff as well. Yeah. And he's only a little dog doing his best. He's doing his best, isn't he? And you know, direct your ire to Mr Tumble if you're really that bothered, to be quite frank. My son loves Mr. Tumble. I like Mr. Tumble where he goes, AYEYEYEYEAH

That's the best bit of Mr. Tumble. AYEYEYEYEAH When he's like a bit- When he's thinking, or when he's going, I'm a bit worried, he goes, AYEYEYEYEAH I haven't noticed that. He goes, uh, he goes,

Everyone, you, um, And I think you're- He's always got a fucking, like, he's got a bad nose. And I think you're a shining star. Woohoo! And he does like a little woohoo like, home- That's actually a pretty good impression. Yeah. That's a good impression, Peter.

He's got loads of different, um, he's in drag at one point, he's got a grandad and stuff. He's got loads of different characters, he's amazing. I love that Mr Tumble, you never see him interview because I think, and that's exactly how you should be as a children's entertainer. Never pretend you're anything other than that. Never seek to do an adult version of your act. Never seek to seek the limelight. Never seek to Mr Tumble nights.

Exactly. Just do, just do Mr Tumble. I think there's a lot of entertainment, well it depends what you want to call entertainment, but there's a lot of jobs that are public facing in the entertainment space that would benefit from that. I don't think that any band or artist of a particular genre of music should do any chat, any of you's. Right, okay.

I don't think that certain types of journalists should do any chat, any of you's. I don't think that certain types of journalists should either. I think it can only go wrong I think, it can only go badly because at the end of the day artists, people who are creative, are idiots. They are space people but they're also idiots. It also destroys the illusion. Exactly, yeah. I used to manage a band. They're too kind of visible, they're too available. Yeah yeah. I used to manage a band. They're too kind of visible, they're too virile. Yeah, exactly. I used to manage a new wave band and they were reasonably successful in their own way

as an indie band. They had a couple of singles out and stuff like that and they used to be really good live, but they were all dressed in black, they used to do like a really cool new wave thing and their set was a really good fucking study well rehearsed set. Yeah. And you want to turn your phone off? It's a good story. That's what I was doing. I was just trying to find the actors that...

And it used to make me cringe a bit when the singer would do like a little joke in between songs. Like you're fucking destroying the illusion. You're destroying the illusion here. Like you're supposed to be cool. If you're going to do funny stuff, be cool at the same time. I don't mind if you're like a jaunty singer-songwriter on an acoustic guitar.

You know, the folk scene is all about telling stories in between songs, that's part of it, I get that. If you're gonna be a dressed in black, leather clad new wave band, fucking turn it in, just play the songs and fuck off again. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Anyway, is it a new band?

Well, the coolest bands, the coolest actors, their bunt ones that don't do bloody interviews I'm the one the actors are no one definitely. Yeah, they're in there in the battery daddy Let's push on to a Dave who is in turn pushing the battery Boundaries even though I've repeatedly crashed from burn with recent attempts to re-enter the hollow battery daddy I keep on trying being a gentleman a certain vintage I have a requirement for a particular nasal oral grooming product a lot Of them in the battery daddy to be quite frank a lot of yeah a lot of people Separating battery from those little those little nose trimmers mines around here somewhere there you go

Oh, yeah Ever knows her trim live on the podcast oh So I do it though it does cut my nose. Why does it make you sound like the Churchill dog? Oh dear. Ah, Mr. Dumbo. And returning from a few more weeks working in the Guinness, a few weeks working in the Guinness Brewery in Dublin, the device that I found,

it must have turned on in my wash bag in my luggage, flattened the battery, replacing it releases a while. Branded beauty. This email reminded me of Granval who died in the World Cup didn't he? That's mad though. Hopefully more lenient recent rules from your good selves will allow consideration of this. If it is a new player which I don't think it is I think has it been admitted before? Has someone sent it before? I like to think someone has sent it in before but it may not have been admitted before so Dave may very well find his battery inside the battery daddy on a technicality. It's never been sent in

before we've never received one of those before. Oh good god it's a double hitter thank you Dave. It's a brand new player. Great work fantastic and a lovely photograph and the slightly reflective golden plastic around the battery almost makes me think I can see something sexy in the reflection. But I can't. What is it? What do you imagine it to be Peter? A body. Dave's body. Dave's body. Dave's scantily clad body. Dave's body. Put that, that's the name of the the show Dave's body. Andy! Andy, alright lads how about this very basic design battery for the old daddy. HW, simple red battery with a little green tree on it classic or budget cuts in product design department who knows and quite frankly who cares. Anyway I found these in my son's walking crocodile toy. It is very much men of a certain age isn't it? Kids toys and nose trimmers.

Yeah, yeah. Look at Crocodile Toy, that sounds good. Yeah, I mean, it's got a lot of legs. It's got four legs that need to move for crying out loud. But I don't mind the design. I think it's nice and simple and well put together. It is, and it's caught the eye of many a listener before because it isn't a new player, I'm afraid.

Looks like we've had that, this is the 22nd time we've had this one sent in. Oh lordy that's a shame Andy that's a shame but thank you for the photograph I think you were doing it over probably the oven I think maybe yeah and yeah I think it looks to be like it could be a hob I think Andrew also deserves fewer points for sending this email twice because the first time he sent the email he forgot to attach the photo he won't get marked down for that I think it should be mentioned for the record it's hard to mark you down when you're all the through the floor to be quite frank on your knees

batch that's already been sent right we'll be back on on Monday that's all right with you what you got planned for this weekend Peter oh no I'm learning podcasts I know that much what have I got planned this weekend I don't know maybe a bit of football that's it That's that's my life little bit football I might make some steak tartare. I'll let you know that one goes on Monday. Oh god. I'll get a replacement for Monday then Man made of cooked steak The Luke and Pete show is a stack production and part of the Acast Creator Network. So, Harry, we've got a second series of our hit podcast. We need to make it bigger, bolder and better than the first one. So come on, mate, what are we thinking?

Hmm... Wait, what about if we teach people everything they need to know about life itself? Yeah, that's a great idea actually and quite easy for us to do that. Doesn't sound too bad, does it? Well I'm Harry Clark. And I'm Paul Gorton. Join us for Harry and Paul's Guide to Life, the podcast where we break down the do's, don'ts and the what were they thinking moments of adulting, one absurd life lesson at a time. We're here to give you the advice no one's asked for, but yet everyone secretly needs.

So whether you're an overthinking expert or just trying to discover the meaning of life, maybe even you just want to know how to get a duvet sheet on. We've got you covered, and if your life falls apart, you can trust us when we say, we sincerely apologise. Search Harry and Paul's Guide to Life in your podcast app to subscribe and listen now.