The Luke and Pete Show - Public Toilet Etiquette

Episode Date: February 6, 2025

The lads kick things off with a deep dive into the world of shameless grifters, debating why right-wing outrage merchants always seem to dominate online algorithms. Is Andrew Tate just projecting? And why is Ben Shapiro so obsessed with Barbie?Plus, Pete recounts his bizarre late-night encounter in a Soho public toilet… because, let’s be honest, it’s always Pete that finds himself in these situations, isn’t it?Tell us your wildest public toilet stories by emailing at [e-mail] or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Register by March 15th. Additional terms apply. Learn more at wealthsimple.com slash match. Alright Liberal Cucks, it's the Luke and Pete show. Pete and Luke are on the Luke and Pete show on a Thursday. That means loads of stuff. Rude-ness, verbosity. Who's the most Liberal Cuck of the two of us? And batteries.

I'm afraid it might be me. We explained to Marcus what a cuck was this morning on the ramble, off the ramble rather, before the ramble, on the pre ramble amble. I found myself explaining what a cuck was and it wasn't the fact that it was to Marcus, I just think if I had to explain that to anyone, I would have felt as depressed as I felt. Yeah. It's an interesting age for the male psyche, isn't it? It's like we're kinky buggers now, aren't we? I'm actually convinced that Andrew Tate's gay. Yes, yeah, I think that would be... I don't even care whether that's...

I think if you had to stand up in court and sort of, you know, point out a lot of the stuff that he said, there is, I think, a lot of law is predicated on what the normal person on the street would think was fair, and I think because of the words he said and the projection... The projection is off the chart. If he's off the scale, the projection. Yeah, they're a funny lot. They all say Kirk, don't they? I guess so. They're all just a funny lot, aren't they?

A lot of it. The more kind of fake intellectual, the faux intellectual end of the right wing You know, your Shapiro's, your Peterson's, your Charlie Kirk's, whatever. It is basically just a total word salad. It is a word salad, probably, possibly by accident, but possibly designed for stupid people who've rotted their brains online to think it would be clever. It's almost like, you know, when the average person's idea of a clever person is someone like Stephen Fry or whatever. I'm not criticizing Stephen Fry, I'm just saying, you know, he seems clever, he knows a lot of stuff, he's got good vocabulary.

It's the equivalent of that, but on like a proper weird right-wing tip. Yeah, do you ever when Shapiro did not only a, I think it was a two-hour broadcast just on the film of Barbie, just as a discipline, like you have to have a lot, you have to have a lot of confidence in how much material you've got to just go, just do that for two hours. We talk a lot about this from our position Pete as like, you know, I know you don't like me saying this, but like as professional broadcasters, which we are. So we understand what it takes

to broadcast. And I think you and I are quite good at being able to separate the quality of the broadcaster from the shit that's coming out their mouth. Shapiro is good. Those guys who come up on that kind of down the barrel solo show, no one to talk to or bounce off, they develop a technique which is really actually very robust. I'm not surprised he can do that. I could probably do half an hour on my own on the subject. He's that type of person eat the fact that he could do that much and it sound coherent even though it's probably predicate on a load of fucking bollocks but you don't think it's just kind of like it's an algorithm stuffer it's kind of like you know our entire world is is dictated by the algorithm and keeping eyes on something so that you can run adverts

and advertorials and I don't think that Do you not think that it's just kind of like... I think they skew their stuff towards sponsors knowing they're gonna get subscribers really because a lot of that stuff is essentially like, it's all love, it's membership stuff really isn't it? Like if you look at like Infowars it's all like bonerills and subscribers. No one's thinking that. As far as I know anyway a lot of brands are swerving that stuff. Yeah but like you don't think that it's kind of designed to sort of keep people, like to be able to sort of extrapolate two hours out of, I feel a bit uneasy about all of these colours on a Barbie film. It's just like,

it's almost, they're almost like the people that could spin gold out of straw. Is he responding to comments as well though? I guess so, but I mean it's still, to have that sort of head of steam and still have any, after two hours, still have any cohesive thoughts about new thoughts, being able to recycle the same subject and the same objections and the same underlining kind of feeling that you've never given a woman an orgasm. It's all just to be able to sort of have that kind of power to sort of force through that and talk about that f***ing, remember that WAP song that he was upset about?

Yeah, and he said like a woman having that condition was definitely an infection or some kind of illness. Yes, yes. And everyone was like, what? What is wrong with you? What are you talking about? He's just, there's a lot of shamelessness involved. Yeah.

There's a lot of, I'll tell you now, I know this is a big chat from me, but if I had comments to respond to and interaction from listeners, I could do that. I mean, I did some of the co-hosts I had on Talksport were so poor that I felt like I was doing three hours on my own. Yeah, yeah. I completely, I completely agree. But these kind of like, but it is that we are in the age of shamelessness. Yeah. And that is, you know, the entire world is now having to deal with the ultimate shameless one. Yeah, this shit's gonna get worse. This fucking Emperor Nero style character who is just shameless, self-obsessed, insane, and just this time round it's just spiralling down and down and down and down.

Get used to it, mate, because you ain't seen nothing yet. I'm just saying we could do it. The combination of like unregulated crypto, proper right-wing Manosphere problematic shit which is going to be totally normalised, and essentially cacastocratic, old, sexist, racist, like petty weirdo as the most powerful man in the world is going to be a heady brew. Especially when you fact that he's propped up by a very sympathetic Supreme Court. Anyone who's a little bit worried about this election and what's happened and the people who are dominating it now, you ain't seen nothing yet. Like when you see like Elon Musk throwing up like a Nazi

salute knowing exactly what he's fucking doing, right? And you're worried about that. You ain't seen nothing yet. I'm telling you, it's going to get much, much worse. Strap yourself in. That's all I'll say. And if it's a buck to be made out of it, dance and get your ideas hat on. Get me a hat on, I've only got the haircut. It's never paid less to be a normal, fairly thoughtful, progressive, accepting broadcaster. But that's the algorithm, isn't it? Outrage, the algorithm is just that we're at the... And one might suggest that podcasting, for all of its kind of ha ha get the three white men in a room

and they'll do a podcast kind of vibes like at the end of the day out of all of the disciplines when it comes to content creation let's say you know we don't necessarily... I find the idea of this being content creation quite problematic. I find streaming content creation, I think anything content creation, unless you're doing a straight documentary, I think content creation, you are at the end of the day just commenting. Do you know what? You are a commentator and I don't necessarily think, I wouldn't, I think content creation is- The platform change basically.

Yeah, I think content creation is a far stronger word than what it deserves I would say. If you're in that kind of bag, algorithmically podcasting is one of the purest forms. There isn't really, apart from maybe your iTunes chart or whatever, it's a massive... There's no barrier but there's also not an algorithm that serves up the same thing. Obviously YouTube has sort of taken over a little bit when it comes to podcasts but algorithmically you're not getting... it's so much more word of mouth than any other discipline. I think that's only part of the story though, because I think that a lot of it now is fuelled by clips on TikTok, Facebook, YouTube, which is algorithmically affected. But I think, my take, I, I, my, my take on the whole,

I'll put three, what man in the room and I'll make a podcast. You know, I think it's a semi funny joke because I think I am partly at least partly able to laugh at myself. It's quite funny, but it's also really a joke made by people who've got their own podcast that aren't successful at it. Like that's what it is. I mean, there's the amount of like people who, um, make podcasts and think that they deserve an audience because they're not like, I don't know, whatever they, they, they've decided they've got a niche and they've done this and they've done that and they've decided that they should be successful and they see other people that are successful and kind of use that as a stick to beat them. It is basically where that joke comes from and I'm not here anything against it. Um, but, but what is absolutely the case

is that there is a, there is an absolute track record across the years now, whether it's podcasting, tweeting, YouTube, whatever you want to do, whatever you want to call it, every single discipline of, as you've used the word term, quote unquote, content creation that has been put out there has somehow been much more successful if it's been forced through some really weird, increasingly more and more right wing algorithm. And what's interesting to me about that is why that works. Does that work because the people on the other end of it are naturally predisposed to have quite hateful right wing views and therefore it pays? Because ultimately what people don't talk about, Pete, is that, oh, say it's unfair or it's, it's, it's the odds are stacked against what we would describe as normal people, you and I.

But there's got to be an end game. The end game is people like it. Is the argument there being manipulated to like it or that they're already predisposed to like it in the first place? Well, surely you just get more of an audience if you're outraged, I suppose. You know, people, angry people. But why doesn't it work left wing on the left though? Because you've got people like, what do they call Pete, those guys, Novara Media, who are basically purposely really, really left wing. And they get a little bit of cut through, but no one really cares. I mean, Ash Sarker goes on Question Time and Aaron Bustani will occasionally be on some London based political show. But no one actually cares. Owen Jones does a thing where he's like outwardly

left wing, very socialist. Okay. Admittedly, individually, he's very annoying, but he made the calculation that there should be room for a left wing version of this left all of his jobs and went and did it on his own. Got about 3000 patrons. Like honestly it's nothing, there's absolutely nothing, there's no appetite for it. So for some reason the right wing stuff seems to really work. And that infographic that came out after the American presidential election in November of the size of audiences for right wing influences compared to leftwing influences was insane. But do you know, I think they're... Maybe they're not. I mean, I guess they're sort of eternally sort of online,

sort of 4-channels. Like, they're already online and, you know, they've got their podcast on in the background of, you know... I just think the subject... It's hard to get angry about... It's hard to get angry about, I don't know... Like, it's easier to get angry about, I don't know, it's easier to get angry about the migrants than it is to get angry about the stuff that the left get angry about.

That's a curious point as well because I agree, I think to an extent, but I think that for some reason people don't... There was a really interesting podcast series that came out by ITV news called trapped quite recently. I know you've heard it, but it's about the, it's about a number of different things, but it's chiefly about the absolutely broken beyond repair housing situation in the UK. And it, and it spent all of its time interviewing people with kids in condemned housing in the UK to the point where people are getting ill, they live in flooded homes, genuinely awful, outraged stuff. No one cared. No one gave a fucking shit. No one cared. And yet when it comes to things like you say, like visceral other things like migration

and immigration and for some reason it really hits into people. I would argue that something that's really got the Americans going at the moment, which is this DEI thing, right? So Trump's overturned all these DEI initiatives, diversity, equity and inclusion, to make it, to acknowledge that non-white people and non-straight people and trans people have had it really hard. They're kind of systematically discriminated against, right? Which is pretty factual. Yeah, hard to argue against that one. And yet it seems to be marketed towards people to get outraged by it to the point

where one of the first things that Trump does is overturn it all. When you break it down, it's quite a mundane thing really. They're not saying it in an explosive way, they're not saying white people shouldn't have jobs, right? Which would be obviously an outrageous thing to say. They're saying it's harder for these people, let's make it more even. Yeah, rising tide. Even that is outrageous to them. The way that, and the way that it was done as well, he didn't just roll it back for like

the changes that have been made in the last 10 years. He's rolling back stuff that was ratified in the 1970s now. I saw some literature from the aforementioned Charlie Kirk who runs a thing called Turning Point USA which was advocating for the overturning of the fucking Civil Rights Act. I'm telling you now, you're chucking away there and I get it, I get why, but it's gonna be bad. I'll continue to chuckle away. I think we all know the ways in which this is going, the way that certain oligarchs are tweeting about Germany's conscience in the second world war.

Elon Musk gave a speech to the AFD recently. Wild. Absolutely wild. Do you think people's preferred it when I talk about when I lost my wallet? I don't know. Maybe someone um, maybe, uh, uh, someone who came over on the boat stole it. Maybe they're linked. Maybe they're linked somewhere. Yep. Yep.

Maybe you could, maybe it just takes one little, one little nugget to turn you into a dribbling, very profitable right-wing think peaceman. If someone stole my wallet in that way, I'd be, I'd respect the old school nature of it. What's the point? What's the point? You're better off just fucking hacking into your mind. Well, they did steal your wallet in that way, I'd respect the old-school nature of it. What's the point? What's the point? You're better off just fucking hacking me alive. Well they did steal your phone in that way. They did the whole map over your phone, kind of classic London ruse. It was old school.

Yeah, it was. I begrudgingly respected it then. One thing I... Sorry, when I wasn't trying to stop my wife chinning her, I kind of then got annoyed. Yeah, one thing that I was going to bring up last week yeah but I couldn't for various reasons I had a slightly old school experience in a public toilet. I thought you did mention it? I didn't mention it I think it got edited out because of connection I made. You haven't had another go at it are you?

There was the lead-in story that I got to I got to the public toilet bit but I didn't want anyone else thinking how I got another way. There was a fork in the road, I went to the left bit, I thought that people would think that I went down the right hand road, I didn't, I go down the left road, I went down the left road people alright. I was in a public toilet, the one closest to the Palladium where we did our successful show, Football Ramble Time Tunnel, we will be touring in May, go and get your tickets for crying out loud. Yes,

I went to the little public toilet just outside the Starbucks that's just on the top of Carnaby Street. Now that historically has always been a big cottageing sort of thing right, it's always just lads jerking it. But it's a relatively nice toilet, maybe they clean them after themselves, I don't know. But it's Saturday night and I've come back after the Spurs-Newcastle match actually and I'm in, I'm popping down for a wee on the way to a pub in Soho and everyone is at the urinals right and they're all there for one reason and one reason alone. They're all at the urinals.

They arrive at a big P.E.D. Well and I'm like guys if you're going to conduct this... My first thing was like, oh yeah, I forgot about this. This is the public talk where everybody wanks off. And the second of all, second of all, I was like, oh, isn't this a lovely bit of London? Isn't this a lovely bit of 1970s fucking George Michael London? Good on you, lads. Good on you.

I don't think Michael was... He was 80s. Yeah I know but I'm just saying that like you know cottage was such a big deal you know pre-prohibition and stuff and it it's this something lovely about it until they start going and it's just pretty in your face. Yeah and they're all at, all of your irons are blocked because they're just standing in front of the irons and they're looking around and they've got their penises in their hands and they're looking at eat the all of your islands are blocked because they're just in standing for the rounds and they're looking around and They've got a penis in their hands and they're looking around to see who's come in now It's only official London big bus tour

Oh, it's the it's the it's the toilet that has never closed inexplicably In the center of London and there's just always something going on in there You genuinely need a piss and I generally need a piss. I'm like I need a piss You go to the pub though, just go to the toilet in the pub But you genuinely need a piss? And I genuinely need a piss and I'm like, I need a piss. You go into the pub though, just go to the toilet in the pub. I really needed a piss. You know what Seven Sisters Road is like, I got on at Seven Sisters Road and then I was, you know, it took me ages. You get down in there as well. Exactly, exactly. I'd absolutely seen off loads. And I was like, ah, I really need a piss. So I had to go to a queue, I had to basically, this bloke was blocking the thing of the

queue, I went sorry man, can I just go for a piss. Can I use the toilet for the express purpose of going for a piss? Yeah. Anyway, so I'm out to do a piss, but it was just a lovely bit of London. You just stick around or? But if anybody is thinking of, just leave one urinal free for the use of the people who are wanking. Yeah, I think so. That's all I'm saying. That's fair enough, I think. Traditionalists, You know, I think that's probably fair enough.

People need to spend a penny. Maybe put a little laminated sign above one of the urinals. Yeah. Just saying, help yourself. For piss. Yeah. For piss and then everything else is for everything else. But it was just such a lovely bit of London that I thought long lost and long forgotten.

What pub did you go to after? Duke of Argyle. That's a terrible pub. What are you going to put on Argyle Street? Yeah, I think so. Duke of Argyle. Absolute tourist trap, mate. Did I go to the Duke of Argyle? Really, really poor choice. Duke of Argyle.

Might not have been the Duke of Argyle. Is that the one that's got upstairs? Yeah, I think it's the Duke of Argyle. It doesn't matter. Yeah, someone rocked by Oxford Circus station. Terrible choice. Oh no no no no no no no no no no no. Somewhere else. It was somewhere else, but it doesn't matter. I had a nice time and that's the main thing. We went to like an arcade bar afterwards

after a few cocktails. What a surprise. Wow. It turns out that's where teenagers go. I had no idea. Did you have a nice night? I had a nice night. Met with some school friends and that's it for absolutely yonks. Were you on childcare duty the next morning? Yes, yes, yes. Thick head? Yeah, decisions were made that were not sensible. What time did you get in? It's always, if you're on anywhere near to the last train, the train that usually takes 40 minutes takes an hour and 15. It's good stuff. What time did you put your key in the door do you reckon?

Uh half one. Oh half one. Are you up at six probably? Yeah. That is terrible I can never do that. Yeah but I mean I think baby knows. Baby knows the next day. Baby knows. And to be fair I did go to soft play and I don't know what I was thinking to be honest. I may still be still have been inebriated. I took the boy to soft play yesterday he loved

it. It's good stuff there's the one we got who's got a sensory room for kids who just you know find it difficult. That's the medical. You always think when you see all the soft stuff you think I could do have a lie down there. It's good isn't it? Yeah but do you not get involved? Do you not clamber around and have a lie down? Yeah, to a level that's appropriate. I'm not climbing up the slide and stuff like that. Oh, you go down the slide, definitely. I go through the... You know, sometimes you have rollers. Two rollers. I go through them. And one of them, it feels like it might break your ribs. It's that thin.

It's like oh that shouldn't have gone through that. You're not paying to do it as an adult are you? No, don't even free me. Look extract maximum value from everything. Oh you're taking fish off. There was um there's a sensory room where the kids who found difficult um going um yeah I'm sure there's better ways to say that but um But it's the loudest room in the fucking place. Screaming. It's like a bergain or something. It's insane in there. It's like subdued lighting but screaming the kids are. The DJ. God. May as well have been. Fucking rumble. Right,

we've got to take a break. We'll be back. We'll be back with some batteries and stuff. I'll see you in a second. That's not really what I do. Is that because you don't have any knees? Or... Ugh. The Scorebet. Trusted sports content, seamless sports betting. Download today. 19 plus, Ontario only. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or the gambling of someone close to you, please go to ConnixOntario.ca. Wealthsimple's Big Winter Bundle is our best match offer yet. Get a 2% match when you transfer over an eligible RRSP.

For a $50,000 transfer, that's a thousand dollar cash bonus. Enough to buy a fancy parka. A ticket to somewhere you don't need a fancy parka. Or just be responsible and top up your retirement fund. Plus, move any other eligible account and we'll give you a 1% match. Minimum $15,000 transfer. Register by March 15th. Additional terms apply. Learn more at We wealthsimple.com slash match. Welcome back to the Luke and Pete show. Every Thursday we talk about all things batteries. Alan's got in touch. Long old email. A little bit correctionary to me on me and Sarah on the baby. So thank you for those. We'll stop talking about those but we don't edit them out of the email so I find it very hard not to just read them

like I'm reading auto-queue. Yes what else have we got here we've got a TianqAA, TianqAA and a Kendall AA and yeah there's like there's also a packo in there as well. Did we have a ruling on what we have to sort of choose one out of all of them? Can we try? Can we can we choose maybe a Kendall double A? I'll be honest with you, it's not going to make any difference. Right. OK. Thank you. 50 we've had those 50. 50 Kendall, you are the 10th person to send in Kendall double A.

So nowhere close to a new player. So on this occasion doesn't really matter. But I have appreciated the photography photography particularly the final photo. Yeah it's good stuff isn't it and yeah I mean thank you for the submission. I thank you for your lovely words Alan. Sean's got a dirt challenge my lovely he's following the shit show I've just had to listen to with Bexel and Pear Deer being submitted in one ep I thought I'd try and improve things a bit yeah and Sean from Whitley Bear stepping up here. I got a new bead trimmer for me mam

what oh no from me mam I got a new bead trimmer for me mam from me mam for Christmas she wasn't hinting that I'm unkempt she asked me what I wanted in the set she got me was a fine detail trimmer and a nose hair trimmer you get that quite a lot with trimmers. You can take the top off one and replace it with a fine hair trimmer. I have to do the ears, I don't have to do the nose quite yet. Oh, I told Sarah last week, I said, what must you think of me Sarah? My hair out of my ears is disgusting.

My hair out of my ears is disgusting. Did you put them in a little top knot, the ear hair? Could you do that? May as well do. I wouldn't care. The guy hit me with the old flaming stick at the Turkish barbers and it didn't bloody... It clearly didn't do anything. It spurred them on. Hit me with the flaming stick. Gave them the heat they needed to grow, clearly. Yes, each had their own power source. So here's my submission. Any idea as which to brand of hair trimmer I got and it's established New York sorry 1937 Remington. Yeah so Remington isn't really a battery maker is it?

No I think we relaxed our kind of rules a little bit. I think we do. We certainly do yeah like I changed my, like I change my nose trimmer into a fine detail ear trimmer every now and again. Yes Remington. So Sean you are the fourth person to send Remington's in. That's not too bad, that's not too bad. Our friend Jim, oh no in actual fact you're the third person because for some reason Jim has sent them in three times. Jim! But Oliver sent them in as well. Although he says that like when Oliver's email of August of last year, he acknowledges in the email that they won't be eligible for the reasons Pete stated, but he included the Remington in there. So, I

mean, ultimately you're not the first person to send them in, so it's kind of largely moot. But there's evidence of a flip flopopping on policy there from Mr Donaldson. Look, new boss same as old boss but with slightly relaxed rules but thank you for Sean from Whitley Bay and good news on your mum's beer. Samuel Green's got in touch. Hello gents a further submission for the Battery Daddy from the world of knackered Finnish bicycle lights Nice! Helsin Reds or Helsin's Red A lovely plain-looking design which lives up to the name just with a very odd added tiger I suppose

I hope this one gets a mention and submission to the holy grail of the daddy Thanks lads and love on the show Samuel Green Red! They look, Pete, just give us a little rundown what you make of the battery itself because to me it looks very old. It looks like an old, it looks like the sort of design you'd see on a 1970s American petrol dispenser.

Do you know what I mean? Like a very night, like Route 101, Route 1? Route 101? Route 66. Route 101. You think of room 101. Somebody retweeted that, Jake Humphreys, happy birthday to my mum. 69 today, I love this woman.

And somebody wrote underneath, I hope it is her birthday. Yeah, he didn't actually say happy birthday, that was the problem. He said 69 today, love this woman. No, he said 69 today, I love you mum. Love you mum, yeah there we we go and then I hope it was a birthday. Was that world class basics you reckon? It's not world class basics he's left himself open there a little bit but yes Halston Reds any interest in those Lukie? I've been interested in some replying to that tweet saying maybe you should just buy her a cake instead. Yeah, Helson's red.

I mean, they are a new player. Congratulations to you, Samuel. I think we knew when we saw that design. Wow. It's an incredible design. It's great to hear they're from Finland. I suspect they are very old, but they are nevertheless a brand new player.

So that is a cause for some celebration. Congratulations to you, Samuel. Very, very happy to check those ones right in the battery daddy and that's the first new player I've had for a little while so I'm hoping we've addressed the slump. Yes lovely old job. Love that, big fan of that, big fan of that. Yes and that's about it for us if you want to get to the show if you want to trick us a battery or two please do so on LinkedIn or elsewhere hellolou Luke. Pete show.com is not LinkedIn. Hello from anyone and

That nature on LinkedIn. I'm on there under duress anyway. No good points. All right. Hello. Luke. Pete show.com We'll be back on Monday for crying out loud. Yeah, look after yourselves. Take care yourselves and we'll see you on Monday I'm excited to see you then. Take care guys. Don't yawn I wasn't yawning. You were. You were to yawn on the gore. I heard you.

You are the yawner of this show, not me. I'm born to yawn, mate. The Luke and Pete show is a stack production and part of the A-Cast Creator Network. The scorebed app here with trusted stats and real-time sports news. Yeah, hey, who should I take in the Boston game? Well, statistically speaking. Nah, no more statistically speaking. No more statistically speaking I want hot takes I want knee-jerk reactions. That's not really what I do. Is that because you don't have any knees? The score bet trusted sports content seamless sports betting download today

19 plus Ontario only if you have questions or concerns about your gambling or the gambling of someone close to you Please go to ConnixOntario.ca. Wealthsimple's Big Winter Bundle is our best match offer yet. Get a 2% match when you transfer over an eligible RRSP. For a $50,000 transfer, that's a $1,000 cash bonus. Enough to buy a fancy parka. A ticket to somewhere you don't need a fancy parka. Or just be responsible and top up your retirement fund. Plus, move any other eligible account and we'll give you a 1% match. Minimum $15,000 transfer.

Register by March 15th. Additional terms apply. Learn more at wealthsimple.com slash match.