The Luke and Pete Show - Reproducing salmon

Episode Date: December 30, 2021

Arm-shelving still exists in 2021 and Pete won’t stand for it! We are hurtling towards a new, hopefully arm-shelf free, year and the lads are back for one final show.Today we hear about how Luke saw the new Ghostbusters, Pete tells us about salmon semen and we add some new players to the game. It’s just another episode of The Luke and Pete Show. Thank you very much for your support throughout 2021. Whether you have sent us an email, left us a review or just listened to an episode you are a major part of The Luke and Pete Show and we value you dearly.We’ll be back in 2022 for more fun and batteries, in the meantime feel free to get in touch with the show. Email: [e-mail] or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Feel free to give us a follow while you're there! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

get this party started on a saturday night oh god that fucking uh who is it a welsh lady yeah i just try to zoom into the mic and do a bit of a Shirley. How you doing? I'm alright. Have we started the show? Charlie Bassey, SB, Sweet Beans. We've started it. It's the Luke and Pete show. I'm Pete Donaldson.

To my right is my Zendaya to my Tom Holland. Yeah. You're taller than me. Yeah, that is true. There's a lot of chat at the moment about tall women and short arse men. Is there? How do you feel about it? Aroused, mainly. Yeah.

Don't mind it. Don't mind it. No, yeah, I think it's, what I like about it is they've kind of kept his height secure and basically said that Zendaya's tall rather than Tom Holland's short, which I'm appreciating, to be honest. Maybe there's a sea change in the whole height. Tom said it was a bit of a stupid question, didn't he? Right, okay.

He said, oh, what are we talking about this in 2021? It's rubbish. Who cares? In a way, he's right. Yeah, he's never had to go on Tinder, I imagine, for crying out loud. So yes, this is the Luke of Peach Shore. And Luke, it's just, where are you off to? Always on the wonder, aren't you?

I'm just closing the curtain. You're surprising. People probably think that you're this kind of broadcasting titan unruffled but you're very specific about your environment when it comes to

broadcasting I could record and skip me and I sound like it I trust you to feel while I go and do things like close to

again you shouldn't but it backfires when you tell people what I'm doing I'm just trying to be a little bit surreptitious but did you call me Zendaya because I'm tall or because I... Because you told me you do as the arm shelf.

I noticed... Look amazing in the dress. In the dress. There was a moment on the touchline where... Who's that short man who plays for Newcastle United? He's very short and Scottish. Ryan Fraser. Ryan Fraser was on the touchline. And both coaches in the Newcastle United. He's very short and Scottish. Ryan Fraser. Ryan Fraser was on the touchline

and both coaches in the Newcastle Dugout were using the arm shelf. Shit. Arm shelf and left, right and centre. You're the only person I know of who's active in the anti-arm shelf movement. Yeah, it's disrespectful. I'm an anti-shelfer.

I'm not having it. I'm going to start a Telegram channel where I talk about tall men and women I would very much like to see Zendaya arm shelving Tom Holland

which sounds way more graphic than it actually is I'm sure there's some deep fakes out there it's not ever youth is was it

what do you think makes people because Zendaya's name is Zendaya Coleman right is that her real name I thought it was just a stage name

no Zendaya Coleman spectacular is she from money she sounds like she might be from money with that kind of name maybe Zendaya Coleman, right? Right. Is that her real name? I thought it was just a stage name. No, Zendaya Coleman. Spectacular. Is she from Money? She sounds like she might be from Money with that kind of name. Maybe. Zendaya. What makes people decide

they're going to just do the one name business? I don't know. Yeah. First of all, I'll tell you first and foremost, you're going to need to have a quite distinctive name.

Yes. You've got Madonna. Can't go with Steve. You've got Zendaya. You've got Awkwafina. You've got a few different ones. Who's Awkwafina. You've got a few different ones. Who's Awkwafina? She's an actor and rapper, isn't she?

She's in that Marvel movie. Ah. Legend of the Ten Rings or whatever. Sounds like a shower. Awkwafina, yeah. Fantastic. But if you're Pete, you can't just do Pete. You ain't getting away with just Pete.

Petros. Yeah, that would work. Petros. It's probably work. Yeah, but why? It sounds like a voter rule. It's because we're very sort of like Western kind of, kind of Western facing.

Beyond saying another one? Yeah, you've got to have a name that has a certain flourish, I suppose. Petros would work. Petros. But like I say, it sounds like a motor oil or a kind of Middle Eastern hotel. In the Petros. That everyone goes to. Yeah, exactly.

In the Petros. So it's not easy. You're allowed to drink in the Petros you know is that right yeah they'll say that won't they but Pete

it's Thursday the 30th of December we're stuck in that weird hinterland between Christmas and New Year isn't it weird isn't it weird

you don't know whether it's go back to work then and shut up about it yeah is that you talking to our employees

no they're not they don't listen to this clearly but there's for me Yeah. Is that you talking to our employees? No, they're not listening to this. Clearly. But for me, someone who, as you've already mentioned, likes to be on the move, likes to be doing things, always likes to have, basically always likes to be busy.

Right. This period of the year is difficult for me. Right. Because there's no one, it's not that I can't do anything. It's that no one else really is doing anything. Right. So if I do something, it's got to be a completely solo pursuit. Um, careful.

Steady. And I've done enough of that as it is. And, um, and so it's just a tough time of the year. Even if I feel like, even though I think, you know what,

I'm just going to go back and watch every single movie I like. I still feel like I'm wasting time. Yeah. But I mean, what you do, I mean, fundamentally, I am not an, i will argue that i'm

not a natural freelancer because i if i've got work i like to sort of go right finished i've finished the work now but when you've got a job that you know there's always some work on the horizon it's always something to do there's always something to do so i find quite i get quite anxiety ridden that there's always something that needs to be done. So I need to do that. So I just end up kind of stressing about it all the time. So Christmas, those few days between Christmas and New Year is kind of the only time where I can kind of shut down. Even though I know for a fact I'm going to be recording

a couple of things that could be edited over that time. And it's going to be... You're going to do that? I'm probably going to end up doing that, aren't I? Well, you and I... Put down my little cabin. Outside of these shows, will you and I speak to each other at all?

We haven't really. No, what do you mean? As in like... People think we're really busy mates, don't they? We're busy boys. We're not busy, are we? We are some busy boys. Oh, yeah.

I haven't even been invited to your shed yet. No, no. There's nothing. I mean, not many people do, to be honest. I just want to have a go on the walkie-talkie. I just want to have a go on the walkie-talkie. The walkie-talkie's not been used in have a go on the walkie-talkie. The walkie-talkie's not been used in ages because it kept on being used, let's say,

by that man in Kent who kept talking during Abroad in Japan's. He kept on going, anybody out and about? Anybody up and about? It's like, why are you polluting my airways? I think I speak on behalf of all our listeners when I say, who could have predicted that would be a gimmicky waste of time?

What's happened now? Can't you turn it off when you're doing AIJ? I can do, but then I forget to turn it back on again. It's not ideal. But he just shouldn't be polluting the airways. He's just hellos. It's the equivalent of just opening his window and just shouting, hello, everyone.

How are you? Let me know. Why's he doing it? Well, nobody bloody replies, I don't know, he's just a lonely man in Kent. He can't hear you,

can he, so you can't even go back to him. No, fuming, absolutely fuming. I was going to say to you, the one thing I did do is I watched the new

Ghostbusters movie. Oh yeah? Yeah. Ain't free no ghost, is it a lot of fan service? What do you mean? I heard it was a lot of fan service in there, a lot of like, oh, do you mean? I heard it was a lot of fan service in there.

A lot of like, oh, do you remember this from the 80s? Oh, okay. Do you remember this? I've never heard that as a phrase before, fan service. Fan service. Yeah, it's like kind of, they put little nods in to the real heads

about the actual thing. Yeah, it's a bit of that. But fundamentally, that's all television and film is all about now. It's just constant fan service to the point where they'll re-edit. The Schneider cut is a very good example of people just getting their fucking arse on and then the original director going back and re-cutting it and selling it back to the people again.

Do you remember a weird period of time, which seems almost weirdly quaint now, given what's happened since where every boy who never had full penetrative sex got really personally offended by the Ghostbusters remake

with female actors and that was a weird thing wasn't it don't you think that was weird but is that not just constant has that not just continued

I'm sure it is I'm sure it has but I'm saying that particularly was even though there's behaviour of that kind of stuff goes on all the time particularly online

that was a particular outlier it was everywhere for a really short amount of time it was everywhere but it's continued in the kind of

like the anti-war culture really they've kind of matured and they've spread their little talons

across politics and television and everything really now but it feels to me like it was almost impossible at the time to work out whether it was a decent movie or not, because it was all everyone talked about.

And to be fair, I haven't actually seen it. No. But anyway. Oh, but you watched the one where Ant-Man's in it. Yeah. You watched that one. Didn't want to watch the girl one. Don't bring Paul Rudd into this.

He's done nothing wrong here. Paul Rudd's one of the best of us, isn't he? Is it impossible to dislike Paul Rudd? Yeah, something that is impossible here. Paul Rudd's one of the best of us, isn't he? Is it impossible to dislike Paul Rudd? Yeah, I think it is impossible to dislike Paul Rudd, but he'll do something. It's like Terry Crews. He'll do something. You think at some point these people always let you down.

They always let you down. But you see, one of the things about Paul Rudd I find amazing is that you see Paul Rudd. You know Paul Rudd's going to be in the show. Yeah. In the movie, right? You see the poster. It says Paul Rudd.

You see the trailer. Paul Rudd's in it. Fine. And you think, I'm looking forward to seeing Paul Rudd, you know Paul Rudd's going to be in the show. In the movie, right? You see the poster, it says Paul Rudd. You see the trailer, Paul Rudd's in it, fine. And you think, I'm looking forward to seeing Paul Rudd. And you sit down and watch a movie and you go, oh, there's Paul Rudd. I feel happy about seeing Paul Rudd. At no point have I couldn't tell you the name of any of his characters. But my

brain is still telling me he's good. And it's good. And it's fine. I think he's just, he's a throwback to the, the, the kind of the comedies of the early noughties that makes you kind of comfortable. It makes you sort of remember.

That's all television and films are nowadays. They're just kind of like, do you remember when you were a kid? It's easy then, wasn't it? Yeah. It's fine. Yeah,

I know what you mean. It's difficult now. It was fine before. So, you like this. The Ghostbusters, there's a new Ghostbusters movie. I think it's called Ghostbusters Afterlife.

It's got, so I'll go and see anything, really, because the cinema's right near my house. Yeah. And it's a nice cinema. So I'll just go. And I wanted to see this anyway,

because I like Ghostbusters. But anyway. Yeah. It's got a character in it, Pete. Obviously the family moves to a new town and all this shit goes wrong, obviously.

The girl who's in it, who's really good, by the way, she makes a friend and he is an Asian kid who walks everywhere with a microphone who's called Podcast. Yes, please. I'm being serious. Does he want to do a podcast? His thing is he's got a podcast. I don't think you ever even find out his actual name.

I like that. Yeah. Yeah, it's very enjoyable. It's quite good. And when we were watching it, I was obviously with the Wi-Fi I have access to, when we were watching it, when he said his name,

Mimi just sort of tapped me on the arm, just went, hey, poker? I was like, oh yeah, all right. But anyway, I kind of felt like it was all right and it grew into it for me. And the problem was that you obviously knew, even though I'd never seen any confirmation of it, I knew there was going to be these cameos are going to come in.

Obviously, they're not going to make it up. Oh, are they cameo? They're not going to make it about Bill Murray being in it, are they, at some point? Did Bill Murray rock up? Yeah, it comes apart. He didn't visit the lady one, though, did he? Did he not?

I don't know. I've seen it. And it was nice because it's dedicated to Harold Ramos who obviously passed away six, seven years ago and he's a legend. It was fine. And it's got the kid from Stranger Things in it. Okay, which one?

Finn Wolfhard. The funny looking big eyed, like big eyes? Yeah, yeah. There's one with big eyes, one with a scrunched up face and a tall girl from Stranger Things. Never watched that. The first one. Yeah, okay. The first one. Not the scrunched up face. a tall girl from Stranger Things never watched that the first one

yeah okay the first one not the scrunched up face not the girl obviously not the girl the first tall long haired one who looks

what they did with Stranger Things was a brilliant thing in casting where they were like these kids they look so distinctive

yes it's hard to believe they actually exist as kids oh what do you reckon they're like one of those old people that have that

disease no I'm not saying that I'm just saying it's quite an amazing casting Yes. It's hard to believe that actually exists as kids. Oh, what do you reckon they're like one of those old people that have that disease? No, I'm not saying that. Okay. I'm just saying it's quite an amazing casting because they're not generic

looking handsome young Hollywood kids. Yes. They're odd looking which gives them a really good sense of other as outcasts

which makes you really buy into it. I think even like Kevin McCallister in Home Alone aka what's the character Macaulay Culkin

sorry sorry how could you not remember who Macaulay Culkin is because that's a big one mate I'm sort of like

it's like my brain is going to hash a drawing and I'll end up on a stairwell it's upside down I go how did I get here

I remember this bit I don't know where I don't know where. I don't know where I've left the reflective ball. My issue is this. Where the knowledge is. My issue is this. You'll sometimes say to me, who's that guy about three years ago? Yeah.

We had that thing with him. We went to the pub with him at that place. Yeah. And I'll go, fair enough. That's John so-and-so. Right. John Sargent. Yeah.

You're now saying, who is one of the most famous people of the last 50 years? And you don't remember them. Macaulay Culkin is one of the most famous people of the last 50 years. Where's your cut-off? What's your number there? 1971.

How many numbers are you kind of... Okay, one of the most famous people of the last 30 years, for a bit. For a bit. Anyway, carry on. He looks weird, does he, you think? He had kind of weird eyes and. Anyway, carry on. He looks weird, does he, you think? He had kind of weird eyes and weird lips, I think.

So he got stung by a love beast. He was a funny looking kid but he was very charismatic and stuff. He wasn't a classically all-American blonde boy, was he? He was quite a funny looking kid. Just charisma. Just charisma central for his age.

Just amazing the amount of charisma he had. I can imagine you as a bit of a Macaulay Culkin when you were that age. We've said it before. I looked just like Macaulay Culkin and I kissed a girl

because of it. Did you really? Certainly. Was that in school? She was tall. She was my Zendaya. That's amazing. Zendaya-gram.

That's really cool. What was her name? I can't remember. What an amazing surprise. That's why I asked you. What an amazing surprise.'s why i asked you amazing surprise i i tell you what was it even do a hero quest is that a different thing i forgot we brought that up you brought it up i didn't even ask you don't get me started you know what

i told my mate tommy about that story yeah he's a good friend of mine yeah um and i don't feel like i betrayed a conference because you told several thousand people on this show yeah um and he said do what he said to? The exact same thing happened to me playing a helicopter simulator. There we go. Yeah. More common than you think. It is apparently more common than you think.

That's why I asked. When was the first time, when did you receive sexual gratification for the first time? What were you doing? It's never something sexual. It's always something weird. It's always something like a helicopter simulator. Trying to get your bike out of the shed.

Trying to get your bike out of the shed. Playing a helicopter simulator. Imagine the jerky graphic. The low frame rate graphics of a helicopter simulator back in the day. But can I just tell you something on that subject? I remember

playing Goldeneye a lot on the N64 and I'd have been about simulator back in the day. But can I just tell you something on that subject? I remember playing GoldenEye a lot on the N64 and I'd have been about how old would I have been? 17? Yeah. Did your GoldenEye? Yeah.

No, and I remember saying to myself in like a very kind of pompous 17 year old way where you think you know everything. I could play James Bond. I don't think graphics will ever get better than this.

No, true. You look at a picture of it now it looks ridiculous you can't even make out who the people are I was yapping on about there's something about Japan

podcast in the week there was there's like a Matrix they've released like a a celebratory sort of trailer for the new Matrix film involving Carrie-Anne Moss I've seen the trailer for it

and I hate trailers for it Keanu Reeves and but they've done it in for your PlayStation 5 or your PC or whatever. And they've used Unreal Engine 5, a new kind of engine for video games. And it basically gives you the chance to just float around a New York scene, basically, New York City.

It's a playable trailer kind of thing. Playable trailer. And I spent about an hour just floating around sat next to my partner and she was not interested in the slightest about the technological

ray casting advances of the Unreal Engine 5 did you try to explain to her or not bother no I did I said look at how

detailed because you can basically float around and it wasn't like the reflections or the ray traced puddles and stuff it was

floating up to a window and then looking inside the window and seeing a relatively fully formed image of a scene, like an office building or whatever. And every room looked slightly different. It had a different configuration of chairs and office and photocopies and vending machines and stuff like that. And I've never seen anything that looked computationally so impressive. But they've done something very special and interesting

with raycasting and bump mapping and stuff to make it very cheap on the processor. So it doesn't tax it massively. So I'm floating around. I'm going, how have they managed to do this? And I'm still able to float around and not be all jerky or whatever. Just bonking your pants. Honestly, it was a

Hero Quest level What platform were you on? PC? I was on PlayStation 5, yeah. You got yourself a PS5? Got myself a PS5. Can you sort a brother out? Well, not now. Why? Because they've all sold out, haven't they? When did you get one? About three months ago. Why don't you think about me? What do you mean don't you think about me? You know I love playing

PUBG. Season 15's out now. You can ride a mountain bike. Why are you not letting... Get a mountain bike that's free to play? Yeah. So... Oh, God, yes, it goes free to play over Christmas.

I might download it for my PS5 and have a game. Yeah, you should. So I don't have to pay for it. You can get a mountain bike now. Get a mountain bike. How is that helpful? Well, I'll tell you why.

I'm pleased you asked the question, actually. Because if you are... Is it quiet? Exactly. Does it not creak do you need to oil it you can creep up on people quite quickly

on a motorbike that's like stranger things it's cool though and they're BMX's come on but it's actually a nice little addition

oh that's a nice idea yeah it's also helpful when you get into a situation where you want to get out you want to get back into the zone and you've got

absolutely no vehicle bikes are obviously a lot quicker than walking true if you've ever ridden a. Bikes are obviously a lot quicker than walking. True, yeah. If you've ever ridden a bike. Clear. You haven't seen me ride one.

Yeah, I was going to say, before we went off on the big tangent now, I was actually going to say to you, was it a thing where you grew up that Macaulay Culkin, famous, to be honest, I don't even know if this is true, but it was certainly reported that Macaulay Culkin famously divorced his parents. Yeah, I think so, yeah.

And people were like, fucking, imagine that. Imagine, imagine, imagine. You're 14, I'll do that later. Yeah, I'll stay up really late. Yeah. You're not looking after my affairs, my financial affairs, mother and father. It's a good fucking look, mate. Yeah, there ain't any finances.

Yeah, any finances. Those little coins your nan puts in the card every Christmas. You look after them yourself mate if I had gone pound coins to the card if I had gone to my mum and said that

she'd have said okay yeah but just make sure obviously dinner's at 5.30 I can remember when I was a kid I think I was about

8 or something I can't remember how old I was and so I was going to run away and then coming back and asking if I could cross the road. Because I wasn't allowed to cross the road one way out of our house.

Right. So you could only be able to stay on the bit of land that your house exists. I could have gone the other way. I could have gone the other way because the roads were a lot quieter. Right. I don't think I had a plan. Because thinking about it, the only two houses I would have known, obviously if I had gone to a friend's house, they would just take me home.

It's my mum and dad's house and my grandparents' house. And they lived like, I mean, the grandparents' house was about a 45 minute walk away. I ain't going to be doing that. What provisions did you take? I'd put, I think I'd put quite a few cassette tapes in the bag. One of those little dairy milk vending machines that you put two pence coin in, you get a little dairy milk. Yeah. I think I'd put like a couple of cassette tapes in the bag. One of those little dairy milk vending machines that you put two pence of coin in, you get a little dairy milk. Yeah.

I think I'd put like a couple of cassette tapes in a bag for my Walkman. Cool. Maybe a t-shirt. Yeah. And then that's probably it. Wow. Yeah.

I can't remember what I got in trouble for. I can't remember what I'd done. I used to, I think it was, I used to creep downstairs and get like food. Right. When I was supposed to be in bed. What, little night feeds

yeah yeah okay did you ever used to do that i used to drink a lot of pints of milk i used to drink all the milk it's absolutely church it down my bones is that why you're so strong now i'm so strong now i mean is it would it be would there be an argument to say that the milk council of yeah like the got milk campaign in the, obviously a big deal and stuff. We get told about how much calcium is in milk and cheese quite a lot and it's really good for growing bodies and stuff and there's probably something like that. But is that,

is just the amount of fat that's in milk kind of outweigh it a little bit? It's always the lobbying group, isn't it? Yeah. And we sort of take it as read that milk is very good for you. Do we? I think we do when we're growing up. Should you be taking stuff out of a cow and drinking it? I mean, I'll do it, but should you be doing that? I take it as read that milk is very good for you. Do we? I think we do when we're growing up.

Should you be taking stuff out of a cow and drinking it? I mean, I'll do it, but should you be doing that? I take it out forensically. Make a little incision on the side of the duck. Do you remember that hole in the side of a cow's stomach we saw? Yeah, disgusting. Ooh, do you know what I saw? What?

Do you know what I saw? Have you ever seen a salmon getting impregnated? No. Have you ever seen a salmon making impregnated? No. Have you ever seen a salmon making new, like, farmed salmon, effectively? No, I don't understand. I don't understand the question. Just make a new salmon,

like, artificially creating salmon. Have you ever seen someone do that? Right. It is fucking rank. Right. They get the lady egg, what do you call it? The little egg.

I'm not going to help you on this. You're going to do the whole thing yourself. You know the little red balls you get in sushi? The little fish eggs. Yeah. Right? They slice open the lady salmon. I presume it's a lady salmon.

Pregnant salmon. Dead. Open it up. There's fucking billions of these lovely orangey eggs. Right? Yeah. And they smash them out into a ball, right? And no word of a fucking lie, right?

They've got a load of salmon semen, right? Now, how they get the salmon semen is hilarious. They had similar sort of process, and they can do it either with an alive fish or a dead fish, I believe. They just sort of like, when they're in season or whatever, they just sort of push their thumbs into the side of the salmon and it just fucking jizzes like a big bullet of jizz.

Where you just got to find the right spot? Yeah, like that. I mean, it's the same with everyone, I guess. Maybe it's the way they do it. So you just run your finger down. Shall I have a video game of Hero Quest? They run their finger down the body of the fish and it just goes like milk.

Into the bowl? Into the bowl, into a packet and then they spill it and they just pour it into the bowl. This isn't underwater? This isn't underwater,

this is in a bowl. Just a mixing bowl. And then they get their hands in. It's just the hands I can't handle. It was fine until, because you eat the fish eggs, don't you?

But they need to be seamed. And they mix their hands in together. And then they, I think, put the eggs into the water. And that's it? Yeah, because obviously in the wild, fish just, you know, they do a similar thing. They just square it.

Lay the eggs. Lay the eggs and then they square it. The same near the eggs. And obviously it's hit or miss. So obviously you get a better yield with doing it artificially. It is the worst thing I've ever seen. Can I ask a quick question? What? What channel are you watching? of the eggs and obviously it's hit or miss so obviously you get a better yield with doing it artificially it is the worst thing I've ever seen

can I ask a quick question what channel are you watching not on YouTube mate did you it were bloody great lock picking lawyer again you branched out

this is the lock picking lawyer I've gone mental the egg picking lawyer the egg the egg sperming lawyer well listen while our listeners go away and think

about that process let's have a quick break, and when we come back, we'll do some Thursday batteries, because that is the custom around these here parts. Certainly is. Oh, in that ad break. Welcome back, by the way. In that ad break, Pete's showing me a load of fish eggs.

Fish eggs getting removed. That's disgusting, isn't it? I think I underestimated how many eggs there would be. It's incredible. It's an incredible amount of eggs. He's just cutting it open like it's a jiffy bag. Yeah. Now, then at this point, he's just getting a little fish.

Oh, I don't want to see it. I don't want to see it. I don't want to see it. Welcome back to the Lucasfilm Show. Yes, you do. Welcome back to the Lucasfilm Show. Yes, you do. Little 13-year- old Petey playing Hero Quest

Oh what's happening Mummy I don't know what's happening This might well be a new load It's like pushing carnation milk out of a straw

Yeah it is It is like that And then the only thing is he's got a gloved hand and he's got a non-gloved hand Guess which hand

he uses to mix all of the sperm and the eggs together Oh I can see it It's the non-gloved hand isn't it the non-gloved hand, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah, get him in there, mate. Yeah, it gets more...

It's incredible, though. More dexterity. It's just great stuff. Anyway, it's time for Battery Brands here in the second part of the Luke and Pete show while Pete calms down. Pete, do you want to do the batteries and I'll do the searching? I'll do the batteries. I've got a message from Steve McWhee.

Wow. Hi, chaps. I took apart a dancing and singing Christmas tree to do the batteries. We've got a message from Steve McWhee. Wow. Hi, chaps. I took apart a dancing and singing Christmas tree to replace the batteries and found a couple of CT Guantacell inside. New player, CT Guantacell. G-U-A-N-T-E-C-E-L. I'm afraid not, Steve.

The brilliantly named Steve McWhee, you are not a new player because George Quinlan, hello to you, George, sent these in on October the 25th. So you are just about two and a bit months late, I'm afraid. Never mind. We'll move on to Dean Paveley, his attempt to get a little bit of new player action by the end of the year, do his own admission.

new player action by the end of the year to his own admission. He's come in with a JFL Jiafuli. J-I-A-F-U-L-I heavy duty. JFL Jiafuli, heavy duty. Very nice. I can confirm, Dean, congratulations to you. They are a new

player. He says this is his last attempt to get a new player by the end of the year. You've done it, mate. With a couple of days to spare. Well done to you. Fantastic stuff. So that get a new player by the end of the year. You've done it, mate. With a couple of days to spare. Well done to you. Fantastic stuff. So that's one new player out of two so far. What's next? And finally for now, Tom Muldowney has got in touch.

He's come in with two. Got a couple of battery nominations that I wish to put forward. I tweeted you this a month or so ago, but if it was mentioned on the show, I missed it. That was the end tops. A bit passive-aggressive. End tops at K on my TV. No need to look for those. No chance.

Because they're definitely not a new player. You can start off with your email like that and you come in with an end top. The second are the very exciting Tianq batteries that came with my equally exciting robot vacuum cleaner. And who says the Black Friday deals are just a cynical way to part fools from their money?

I do hope, if it comes from like a robot vacuum cleaner, is that presumably the remote control for the vacuum cleaner rather than the vacuum cleaner itself? Because the vacuum cleaner itself would have large lithium batteries, which we do not accept. So I presume it's a little kind of bit of AAA action with the Tankiw. Well, regardless of that, Tom, you are the ninth person to send in Entops, and you are the 15th person to send in NTOPS, and you are the fifteenth person to send in Tian Q. So,

that's the kind of standard we're dealing with here. That's a real surprise that Tian Q is more popular than NTOPS, because I thought NTOPS have... Oh, no, sorry. Fifteenth to do NTOPS, ninth to do Tian Q. I got them the wrong way around. There we go. So, I'm afraid the standard of this is now becoming very, very high, which is why

we really do need photographic evidence. Otherwise, people are literally just making up words. It really is. Right, shall we have an email? We shall. No, we've done the batteries. All right, boys, this one comes from Connor.

Hello, Connor. Long-time stack evangelist, first-time emailer. I have two points of order that sit in your wheelhouse. Due to the trials and tribulations of maintaining a long-distance relationship during the pandemic, I've not had access to the woman I have two points of order that sit in your wheelhouse. Due to the trials and tribulations of maintaining a long-distance relationship during the pandemic, I've not had access to the woman I have access to for 20 months, saved for two brief holidays.

When you say woman rather than girlfriend, it sounds a bit more creepy, doesn't it? The woman I have access to. American woman! However, today... American woman! That was actually much better until the... Until the cut. However, today I start my 21 day and 22 night compulsory stay

in a government designated quarantine hotel in Hong Kong. Terrible reviews of those. Would they be bad or good? Hong Kong quarantine hotels that for some reason a lot of the flight boys, the fly boys, the pilots who are going back and forth to Hong Kong, they're having a rough old time. They have to do three days at a time.

They do not appreciate it. I am one of the lucky ones in that I have enough space to lay a mat to exercise, and I have a view of a building site to keep me occupied. I am open to suggestions from you and your listeners as to how to fill my time. If you've made it this far without Pete making a masturbation joke, I will be astounded.

I haven't. I'll have more access to my partner in future as we're moving to Singapore together in the new year. Lovely. If you've been there or have any recommendations for Singapore, give me a shout. And two, the thrill of chasing an untapped battery brand has stopped me for years.

While making my journey from Glasgow to Hong Kong via Heathrow, it occurred to me that a government-designated hotel in Hong Kong would surely be fertile ground for new players. Upon entering my dwelling, I immediately noted that almost all appliances were wrapped in cling film. I presume it's for some kind of hygiene reason, as opposed to some Luke and Pete big battery conspiracy.

I tore through the sheaths to find GP Ultras. Common, all gone, very weak stuff. This is my nadir. in a tough 20 months I will continue to spread the good news of stack

Connor thank you very much for your message comprehensive I would be as disappointed as you to get a couple

of GP Ultras I've travelled all that way if you are bored just maybe swallow the GP Ultras and see how long it takes for you

to pass them to poop them out yeah it's not a bad shout so you're doing it. It's not the worst thing you could have said. No.

And presumably Conor would have the internet in that hotel room right? I mean he's messaging right now isn't he? I suppose so yeah. But he could be doing that on the old 4G couldn't he?

He could be doing that on the 4G. But I mean what would you do for three weeks in a hotel? That's so boring. I'd write the great American novel. Would you? Yeah. Yeah.

It would be confusing. I'd love to read it. It wouldn't make any sense be confusing I'd love to read it it wouldn't make any sense I'd bloody love to read it it would be sexually violent well come on what stop it

you will notice here I request again Connor's actually asked our listening community to get in touch with some ideas for passing the time oh okay

as well so helloaloucanpeach.com is the place for that I suppose yeah we could end up reading a few of their suggestions out in later episodes, perhaps. Maybe we won't. Maybe we'll just forget and not bother. Our admin on this show is absolutely terrible.

But anyway, Pete, let's wrap up. Let's wrap up. Let's get out of here. Let's wrap up ourselves like a big remote in a Hong Kong hotel. Yeah, next time people hear from us on this here show, it'll be 2022, baby oh will we be replaced by ao robots you think will i be something will i be rich that's what she said to me very nice yeah thanks very much stay in touch hello at luke and peach.com we are at luke and peach show on

twitter and instagram and as it is the final show of this calendar year, thank you very much for all your support. Thank you for listening. Thank you for emailing. Thank you for reviewing us on your respective podcast applications. We do very much appreciate it. And we look forward to talking to you more in 2022, which is our friend, as our friend Jim Campbell would say,

is the highest year on record. See you soon. Bye. Bye-bye. The Luke and Pete Show is a Stack Production and part of the Acast Creator Network.