The Luke and Pete Show - Schrödinger’s Poo

Episode Date: April 13, 2026

Pete’s been using an angle grinder and it’s made his cabin smell awful. Luke’s son is reassuring him that he hasn’t done a poo. All is right in the world.Today’s topics include the natural beauty of Norfolk, the deaths of Margaret Thatcher and Osama Bin Laden and the wonders of what3words. Don’t die in an embarrassing quadrant, whatever you do.Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: [e-mail]. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Is the Luke? What? No, don't fucking say that when I'm in the middle of talking. Oh, what? You weren't in the middle of talking? And that is just rude because I was starting the show, and then you decided to start talking about some nonsense. Look. What, you've got a sticker on the back of your laptop.

New one. New one. You're talking like my daughter. New one. It's a new logo. New one, daddy. Oh, it's a new logo. Right.

It arrived today. Where did you get a sticker from? It arrived today. Did you order a stack of them? Where's it? Where's my one? God, they arrived today and you were at home. Oh, God.

Every excuse in the book. All right, go on then. Now do your little intro. It's Luke and Pete Show again. How many of these have we done? We just keep on doing them, hopping against hope. Yeah.

One day, the next Luke and Pete Show would be our Luke and Pete Show home. One last crack at the big time. One next one, crack at the big time. Lukie, I am a little bit annoyed. I've got a cabin down the end of my garden and I do a lot of my shows from here and what I did was about three weeks ago

is I chopped a nail in half with an angle grinder Okay Now, all good clean fun All good clean fun Now all I can smell The entirety of the cabin It's like I've been making My own special brew

But the special brew is just of molten nails It absolutely stinks of what And all I did was chop one nail in half and now the entirety of the taste, smells, they're a real guff of nails. Has it got a solvent quality of it? No, it's kind of like a horrible sort of, like a burning metallic,

sort of carcinogenic kind of funk to it. I don't really care for it one bit, to be quite frank. Are you still huffing on that laughing gas down there? I am offing on. Why do? You know, like people who enjoy doing the old hoffin of the laughing gas, the ether, the Gary Giggles, the hippie crack? What is it, what is the actual name of it?

Bruno, is it nitrous oxide? Nigelsoz oxide. He's young, he knows. It's the old stuff you put in whipped cream, isn't it? Yes, exactly. Why do people, when they're going down the motorway, pull in to the little sort of laybys, Kevin Kegan style,

and why do they sort of get rid of their bottles of cool whoip there? Why do they sort of get rid of all of their whipperies there? I don't know. I do see quite a lot of them by the side of the road on the way to taking my son to nursery as well. and I'm not talking about the little little sort of metal thing the big ones now

the big industrial size ones now the kids they took a long time to get hold of those big industrial sized ones that are only definitely used for catering purposes but yeah they're sort of they've transcended or moved on from from the silver little capsules

into full on kind of like industrial sort of fire extinguisher sized cans whenever I see one I there's two wolves in me. One is that I don't really want to have to explain that to my son because, you know, whatever. Obviously, I'm a responsible parent

at least too young. But the other wolf in me is, good lads. Good. It's always having a good time. The one thing that's going to make the young and want to do it more is people like me saying you shouldn't be doing it.

Completely agree. So back in my day, it was smoking the old dube. It was the old son. It was the old solvents. Yeah. The bottles of merry down cider and the white lightning and all that kind of stuff. Yeah.

Can you buy us 10 fags, please, Mr. All that kind of stuff. Yeah. Now they're doing that. No, it's catering supplies. It was ever thus. It was ever thus. Yeah.

It's, yeah, it's not, it's not something. You could be persuaded to be to partake, couldn't you? Um, I think we did once in the, after, post-Ramble Life show in Bristol. Marcus the ring leading no doubt. Marcus wasn't there. Peer pressure into it. Yeah. Marcus accused me of peer pressure in the other day.

Did he? What about the beer? Yeah. All I said to him was, he said, yeah, I said, do you like it? He was like, oh, I can't remember what he said. I was like, if you like it, have a beer. Don't peer pressure me. Don't peer pressure me.

Beer pressure you. Well, weirdly, the last time I saw one of those canisters was on the side at that brewery. And I presume they had a proper use for it because they're obviously, No, they're in the world of bubbles, aren't they? That's their business, I would say. Yeah, bubbles is their business and business is good, brother. I tried some of that Clarkson Lager yesterday. You know what?

Clean. Well, it's a lager and it's got a bit of taste to it. Well done. It doesn't just taste of chemicals and bubbles. It actually tastes of something. So, well done him and his people and his tax-avoiding farm. Well, quite, yeah, but I think you can tell it's made in quite a clean, non, kind of massive scale way. Isn't that more sort of like off-shelf, surely it's Diage or something, presumably some big.

I don't think it is. It's got, it will be, if it's not now, it will be very, very soon indeed, no doubt. I mean, you can't buy it for love no money anyway. No, it's not. It's a nice drop. And I was just very surprised. Our friend John recommended it. I tried it.

And I was like, you know what, I can't find any fault with this. It's good. So, next time I see it, maybe I'll try it again. I'm looking it up, and it is genuinely a microbrewery located and bought on the water in the Kotswool, which is a beautiful part of the world. It's, for now, it is still a genuine microbrewery making the, maybe they ought to scale up the operation because of Clarkson's involvement. But that is a genuinely nice part of the world, and that's a genuinely nice larker.

And we have to say that. We have to say that. We have to say that. We can't be churlish. We can't be rude. I've not tried their cider. I've not tried their gin. No, I've not tried any of those things.

Are you excited for us to have her own lager? I am, yeah. Is it going to be a lager or a beer? I thought it was going to be a beer. It's a lager. Oh, it's a lager? Oh, yeah. I'm more excited than you would ever know.

Because we tried out some of the lagers, didn't we? And then I heard, I overheard people saying that they wanted to be a bit more beery. And I was like, well, that I would prefer a lager, actually. It's going to be a clean, summery, fizy lager. Whoa. That I'm going to throw it in the air when he can score the winning goal in the World Cup. But I am going to have the foresight to carry an upturned umbrella so I can collect all of the liquid. And I'm going to drink it. Num, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, my physiant, down my gullet.

Lovely. When we do that event we're going to do, which we haven't talked about too much yet. So I won't announce it by accident. I'm getting big trouble. But when we do that event, I would love to see you get really pissed. I love to see you get really pissed. on it and sort of go and then get a big red stamp

and run over to one of those big I don't know what they fucking go what were they those big brewery places where they put the tanks? Yeah, that's it tanks and just stamp with blood with my bloodied hand I'm going to carve it stunning enough

a big pee in my hand and just stamp it on the side and go, badge of quality I'm pissed this gets you pissed the bloke just comes along with that little kind of jet washer and just sprays it off instantly

Yeah. Who goes, please don't do that. That is so unsanitary. I'd love to see you shit your pants. Right, okay. Yeah. Before, after, during, one at the start. What would you prefer?

What would you prefer? Bookend it. Or I'll just do what my daughter does. Tell me I've shot my pants and I haven't. It's just a little trick she does. Oh, yeah, it's a lovely little guest again. I'll stop the car. Yeah, I'll stop the car.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll stop the car in a lay by on a really busy motorway. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Risking your life and mine. Yeah, brilliant. Fantastic. My son sometimes will point through his trousers and go like blue or whatever.

They go, yeah, yeah, they're blue. And they'll just go, like, completely out of the blue. I'll just go, there's no poo in there. And you go, right, okay, that's a mind game. That's a mind game. Right? Shruding is shit. Yeah. Oh, okay.

Now, you're not going to have to check. Oh, there isn't one. Fair enough. Fair enough. Good. Nice. Yeah, he did want to be a day where he, I was getting his PJs on for bed. So he was sitting on my lap and I was putting his,

putting his PJ pajama top on and I was like mate just sit still so I can put your PJs on and he flipped his head back and he head back and he had back me right in the nose

I cracked my nose and it's really painful and I just went I just put sit still and he just turned around and went don't you shout at me daddy

yeah yeah right in my place I got a boot in the face trying to put her on my shoulders that was good oh that's standard That was today.

Well, we've been basically speaking about lovely parts of Britain, I've been potting around Norfolk for the last couple of years. Not far for you either, that is it? Little, no, and I, I know, we've been travelling like seven hours to get a Cornwall. Yeah. Why, we just gone up to bloody, why don't we go up to Norfolk every now and again? It's absolutely lovely. And I fear the people who live there are a little bit like,

don't tell anyone it's this nice. And I'm like, fuck you, I'm going to tell everyone. I'm going to tell everyone that it's bloody lovely. What part were you in? Oh, God. Hunstanton is that a place? That feels right. That feels right.

Yeah. Hunstanton, old Hunstanton. On the north. On the north. Yeah. Yeah. Sammy the dog has decided to start a new career in screaming like Danny Filth from Cradleaf. Right.

Whenever we go on the beach, he just screams. Can you do an impression of it? Just do an approximation of it. It's basically he finds large, he finds large, he finds a large, he finds. large rocks and he he finds large rocks and he basically obsesses over them

scratches around around them and makes this noise ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha like that that's the noise he makes and it's uh it's very upsetting and that's the noise I was making when you were trying to name ten American men really it took so long wouldn't even fit on one

Instagram real which I very much enjoyed I know exactly The just really shrill, banshy, like, screaming, because he's just so excited to have a rock. And then he'll carry it around his teeth, and he'll try and chew it to, like, chew it into bits. And I don't know what that's doing his teeth.

He's, and it's just antisocial. Like, people are trying to have a relaxing day at the beach, and you've got this screaming dog. Is he the most difficult dog you've had? No, no. He used to rub his balls on your head in bed. I've wet itself all the time. So when does it rank?

It was a 15-year-old Borat Terrier. I mean, that's going to be that's going to be difficult. Which one rovers on your head? A bit of, a bit of Sammy bit of Buckley, I'd say.

This is a regular thing now, is it? It's a regular thing, maybe I ask for it. I'll start to think about what the common denominator is here. Very rubble head. No, the other dog, Lola, will attack any other dog. That's more of a problem. Sammy is fine with every dog

that has still, that has had its testicles removed and is... So did Lola and Sammy get on? Yes, yes. But it took a little while. It took a day or two for Lola and Sammy to just, you know... But Lola walking down the street is never going to spend that much time with the dog.

She can get there if she has an hour with them, but you know, you can't follow her own dogs until she's cool with them. You just really have to just keep them out of the way. So if you were to take Sammy down the beach under cover of darkness and get him to make that noise around some canoodling lovers, it might make quite the scene. Yeah, it would put off a lot of people, really. But locally dogs aren't allowed on beaches

for most of the summer months. So people who are enjoying a canoodle as nightfalls remain unmolested. Or molested, however they like to conduct their sexual stuff. Have you ever enjoyed a canoodle on the beach under the cover of darkness, Peter, from memory? You must have done at ATP or something like that? Uh, no, utterly unfuckable then and now. Yeah. But, uh, I, yeah, so it's not really.

And, and one might suggest that a lot of, um, Camasanne's ATPs took place kind of, like, you know, wintertime. And it was never really that nice, was it? They're not going to, they're not going to chin off an entire, you know, weekends kind of amount of money. Yeah. Trade for, for, um, you know, people who want to go and watch the Walkman. I can remember, I can remember seeing you. essentially annexing the children's playground and your friend had done a big sign on the climbing frame

and put it on there, and called it Fritzels Palace. Yeah. And you guys were hanging around there drinking booze. Yeah. And, you know, if I was a, if I was a, if someone had taken a picture of that, and I work for the BBC.

That's not going to cancel it, I don't think. That would be, I think it probably will, will it? That's hijinks, is it? Is it satire? Is it satire, Lou? Can you say it satire for a laugh? Yeah, I think... Stuart Lee does that,

everyone gets an award for it. I write on a bed sheet, a buttlins, and stick it to a wall on a children's playground. That's, you know, that's more problematic. But yeah, I completely agree.

I tell you what, we draw through the town of A. Ugly, which is a brilliant name for a town. Spelt the same way? E. There's an E between the L and the wall. and also so on.

Now, isn't that like... Isn't that sad? Like, isn't that sad that the thing you think about is when you drive through a town like that, you're like, oh, that town will never be, for the next probably 30, 40 years, will never be the same because of the act of one man, or two people in the end.

Well, you say that, but in 1944 there was a rail disaster there. Right, so... Well, in the same way, like, Potter's Bar, for me, whenever you drive through Potters by, I think massive rail disaster. There aren't that many real disasters. There aren't that many child murders, I suppose, is there? So, thank God.

So I guess it's kind of like, it's kind of that. But it is just a big shame that people have lived there since the, since you're dot, and all it takes is, one man to, you know, destroy an entire town. And he was killed in prison, honey last month. He was. I think it was a lot of people celebrated old, that and also

the blood cut of lost profits Watkins You probably saw the Bradley Bob with some kind of DJ set did you? In my garden High high off my head on nail fumes Just playing the fake sound of progress

And Shinobi versus dragon ninjas What's the name would like around there You and your pants Just fucking vibe into lost profit Shout I didn't kill any kids Your dinner Duh do

Duh do Dond D do do do do do do do Dund do Um, where were we? Just the angle-guiding, individual nails. Huff and the, huff and the fuse. Oh, yeah, come on.

So you drove through so? Yeah, just been driving around, um, sort of Norfolk and Cambridge here and, uh, it's good stuff, in it? I didn't realize there's so many nice places, isn't you mean? There's a lot of, um, interesting stuff around there, by which I mean, quite odd stuff. I mean, I went to the Whittlesey Strawbear Festival once. right which is a pagan type

traditional festival right out in the kind of fens right they get a boy from the village to dress up like a straw bear and they run him through the village and then they get him out of the straw bear and that is the crucial part of it

you must get him out of the straw bear yeah because then they set far to it right okay basically it's not dissimilar to the wicker man I mean it's smaller and it's more kind of light-hearted now and there's folk music and stuff

but it's quite interesting I remember I was in the pub one of the pubs in the little village just sitting there having a beer listening to people chat and like I got the impression there's a number of different people who kind of frequent

these different types of traditional Oh they sort of float around yes with their pie you're Morris dancing type yeah those kind of guys and they dress up and I told you about this because I told you that they used to They used to blackface

Yes yes And they got to stop doing it And now they green face Right. To honour the green man who's like a pagan kind of, it's like a pagan... Oh, so you had the choice to change it. It wasn't that important, was it?

Could have changed it years ago, couldn't you? I don't think they are. I think they're just green manning it so that later in post they can black up again because it's a green screen. They just put black. See what they've done there? That's a very interesting angle.

They could make their faces black litter. From memory, they're arguing that the black face thing doesn't come from the same what tradition is the American problematic thing. That's what the point would make. I'm not. I can't wear a Robert Magabe mustache, but, you know.

Wow. Say that. Well, it would go with the overall lock, sure. I completely agree. Where's the Robyn Mastash come from? What's that in your mind? Wasn't it, didn't he have a little Hitler moustache? Wasn't that his vibe?

It was kind of like a wider hitler moustache. It was a narrow one, wasn't it? Was it narrower? It was just in the filtrum. It was just in a hamter. Yeah, it was. Not even a mustache. Nice.

What was he doing? What was he doing? What was he just doing that? Was he just sort of doing? I like that we couldn't record on like a certain day because Bruno's too busy and it's like, what does he do while we're recording? The sublime to the ridiculous.

Rob and McGarby. Two days a week he's absolutely slammed. On one half of those he's doing Mugabe moustaches and fucking whatever else we come on with. Bruno, Mayor, you can use it. Cross-checking the date of Ian Huntley's fucking murder in prison. I don't think we should... I think the point I was trying to make earlier on is that I don't think we should live in a world where people should be able to kill each other in prison.

Because that, it starts down a long old... It's a law of the jungle, though, isn't there? It's a law of the sugar in the... Sugar in the kettle, in it? Why they got kettles? Yeah. Oh, God. Well, I think I remain entirely neutral on these issues.

I feel like, you know, where... say for example margaret thatcher died right right yeah one of my one of my favorite bands mccluskey have got a um sorry mccleskey fucking mogwai i've got a um a song called um george square thatcher death party um you know certain types of people love to celebrate the death of thatcher right briskston was all washed with people with cakes and champagne and stuff when thatcher died right yeah and i actually even though really thatcher and her policies ruined my family's livelihood genuinely i still didn't feel comfortable like celebrating the death of a person.

And I also thought to say about bin Laden as well. Weirdly enough, I know bin Laden was obviously fucking terrible. But when bin Laden was killed, everyone was celebrating that. And I was like, I don't feel comfortable celebrating the death of another person. But at the same time, I do understand they're fucking terrible, so I'm not going to complain about it either. No, but also, I think with, I think with, I think with, I think with Thatcher, you're also kind of celebrating, you know, it's like, it's a little bit like celebrating like an evil Queen, if in this kind of way.

It's kind of like a... Oh yeah, of course it is. Young people who don't know. I have a quiet little party. Have it like... Just at home. Just at home. Get yourself...

Get your night of whiskey. Get your night's... Have a little huff. Get the bathroom on your own. Do it... Do a teaspoon. One teaspoon of smack in your own bathroom. Yeah. Just sit in the bath.

You're not arming anybody. Put some fucking... Put some mug-eye on. I'll put some reggae on and just play. I said to you, mother, I'd smoke one crack pipe only upon the death of Lady, Lady Thatcher. Yeah.

I'm now doing that. Yeah, yeah. Just like a good old fashion Tory MP. I'll put the day off work tomorrow. I'll get a sat suber in the mouth. And I'm going to celebrate the death of Osama bin Laden with a good old fucking... Wanking an animal.

A fistful of barbiturates. And, uh... I'm on nitrate. I'll have a day off. I was going to enjoy it. I'm sorry, I can't come in. Bin Laden's dead.

What, why? Put a side up outside. Like a red cross they did for the people to play. Yeah. Give me a few days. I'm,

I'm celebrating the death at sea of Bin Laden. Why do you care that Ian Huntley's been killed in prison? What's the, what's the thought process? I just think the rapid fire. Because it's an extrajudicial killing, basically. Yeah,

Rapid Fire, not H from Steps, he probably presumably made a lot of money out of that mix-up. What's his name? Ian Watkins. Not Ian Watkins from Steps. Stop saying that. That's just as bad as getting it mixed up. Just leaving out of it entirely.

I couldn't remember the blog from the Los Angeles name, but I thought I could remember Hitcham Steves' his real name. That would help me. That's the journey you take. That's the set never your mind to get there. It did not tell. It did not tell me, it did not tell me the right answer though. Yeah, him from the Lost Provert.

It was rapid fire. He died and then the block from the Sawm murders, aka the Sawm murderer. I don't think we both called Ian. I don't think we should, I think we should be like living in a society where people can kill, you know, truly evil people. It's just not something that should be allowed to happen.

But. Well, are you suggesting that the already underpressed, and stretched prison officers have turned a blind eye to this type of violence? No, yeah, probably just didn't have funded. I mean, they're spent enough on marketing on this podcast. It wasn't like, it wasn't Ian... Wasn't Ian Huntley's death like... Next time I do a read for the prison service, I'm going to end by going,

listen, you need to protect Ian Huntley. I'm not so much. Put it in the re. Put it in the reed. But in the read. Protect. So apparently he was attacked with like some kind of makeshift tent pole, which blithed him. Why have they got tents in prison?

Why have they got tents in prison? Why is that thing they've got? Right. Because the other thing that used to happen quite a lot is it used to be the old sharpened toothbrush handle, didn't it? Yeah. Was that when it was, I just, yeah, I just don't think plastic would live up to live up to the, I always think electrocution would be a good way to do it.

How are you doing that? Freer that, like, just pull out to, you know. You're not have a PowerPoint of your prison cell, are you? Yeah, of course. Are you? If you've got a kettle, if you've got a PlayStation, you've got a TV. They're not in like forward open prison, are they?

If you've got a light, you've got electricity, haven't you? Yeah, that's fair coming. That's fair coming. Yeah. You think so that's how you, because you referenced daily the sugar in boiling water is a killer, is a killer, isn't it? It's not a killer, it's a burner.

So it's a disfigurer, one would suggest. What I would do is I would fill up a light bulb with electricity and take it out of the light bulb holder and then throw it. Put your thumb over it so it doesn't get out. Yeah, so the electricity doesn't get out and then phew. Are we being naive here? I think we are because I think that I'm right in saying I have read reports that a lot of stuff

is delivered to prisons surreptitiously via drone these days. Oh, I see, right. You can hear a drone look at you? Is there not an anti-drawn kind of plan for prison officers? Well, I don't be like a Shahy drone that's coming and just fucking targeted and taking someone out. No, I mean, it's flying in like a little knife or a packet or whatever of drugs. Have you been next to a drone? Yeah, but have you been next to a drone? They're bloody loud. Whichever, whichever you're caught.

It's a very loud thing. They're not quiet. But I think that is happening. Yeah, I'm sure it is. I'm sure it is. But I don't know, there must be a plan for prison officers to, you know, snipe them down, presumably. Oh, what a job? What a job? Can you just watch the windows?

Can you not just watch the windows and sort of like, or would you? I don't know, what would happen? If you sort of like, if you flew really, really high away from the prison and then just dropped it from a real distance, like there's no drone to shoot down, is it? Because you're too far away from whatever catchment area, whatever radio distance the man has. I kind of felt like they were delivering them directly to specific windows

and people were just grabbing them. that makes too much noise, isn't it? Like, how do you, yeah, how'd you do that? I don't know. Yeah, I completely agree and they must be doing that,

but there also must be, it must be pretty obvious which windows. Just film the window that it's going into. I feel like we're hearing, I feel like we're hearing too much about drones these days.

Yeah, I feel we're hearing about the disproportionate amount from how often I see them, which is never. No. It used to be a little bit more kind of boutiquey.

Remember when that drone shut down the airport a number of years ago? I'm surprised that is not more to be honest, yeah. Yeah, and now it's everywhere. I mean, if you've seen that enemy in the woods documentary, I always talk to you about that,

and you never watch it. Which one's that one? It's about the Ukrainian guys guarding that, that kind of front line in the forest in the... Right. ...war against Russia, their... As I'm contractually obliged,

say Russia's a legal invasion of Ukraine. And they basically live in these foxholes. and when they have to go out and get supplies or go and do something, they basically just have to live under threat of these Russian drones to chasing them down and killing them. And it's genuinely like a real-life

Black Mirror episode. It's horrific. So it's happening. It's happening. They fly among us. Yeah. But I feel like they're only really being used in A, prisons and B, military conflicts

when really, should we not be getting them delivering shit to us by now? Yeah, I mean, I think they do they do some blood. I think they do some blood stuff in London. Do they? Do they? Yeah, I think, I think, my friend. Fastest way of travel, probably.

Who is head of innovation at the NHS. He, yeah, I think they sort of run routes for blood and, you know, bits and bobs, you know, lab testing and stuff between hospitals. My friend, you still have a job doing the blood delivery on the back of mopeds. Yeah, exactly. It's probably more efficient from doing it from the sky. Bruno is sharing Amazon Prime Air in the group chat. But like... Is that still happening?

No, I thought that was just like a marketing kind of PR guff thing. Yeah. Well, I mean, it's only serving Lockford, an unincorporated community in San Joaquin County, California, and college station in Texas. So I wouldn't say it's widespread necessarily, but it is just... It's just basically serving. Sounds like an Amazon campus or two. Why are prisoners who are currently paying their debt to society getting it?

Yeah. And we're not. Well, I want some spice delivered. What if they get the coordinates wrong? What if they get them, what three words wrong? And I get a file in a cake. You don't probably don't need hide them in cakes anymore. Do you use what three words?

Do you use that now? I sometimes do, yeah. It's a really good idea. Because a lot of like, if you go around the Essex area and you're trying to find a specific sort of dog park, these fields, farmers fields that they've decided to sort of carve up for dog parks, it can be like the difference between like, you know, 10 miles down the road and a couple of miles like west.

So you're kind of like trying to figure out precisely where the entrance is. What three words is great. Absolutely fantastic. The reason I don't use it is because I get worried in an emergency situation. I'll revert to what three words and the person won't know what I'm talking about. They will always know what you're talking. about but what if you've got like a really

what if you're dying in a really embarrassing quadrant and you're forced to crawl out of it because it's like bell end wank, bell end touch and I'm going I'm not dying in bell end touch and then just sort of like I'm in Dildo Bump Party. Dildo Bump Party.

I'm sorry your father was found in a field What if you had a Dildop up your bummed you couldn't get out and you're in the Dildo Bump Party quadrant? I know. What if you die there? I would want to sort of, I would want someone to drag me.

It's like, I don't want to die, you can't die in Disney World or the House of Commons or whatever the fuck. I want to be dragged out of the embarrassing one to a, to a square that's not embarrassing. How big is it square, Peter? I think it's about a metre, it's not big. It's like four metres or something. It's a really small amount of space. It's amazing. It's a really good idea.

It's a really good idea. Do you know what's another good idea that people should have and I'm probably, you know, they're probably... Can I say where I am right now? No, because that'll tell us exactly where the office is. But the office is on the website anyway It doesn't matter It is yeah but I mean A drone can get you from the window

We do have a window in the studio That's precisely where the studio would be But I want a drug to get me I've already told you that It's a big building I want it to come in And I've wanted to end my shit Or I want to deliver me some drugs

Space I can't be asked to log in I'm not logging in Apparently there are 57 trillion What three words squares In total That's incredible what three words.

Surely they must be regulated so they don't have embarrassing ones. No, no, no, apparently. Yeah, front bottom, syng is a pretty popular one. Where's that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, I'll tell you where that is. That's bloody goal hanger, that is.

Finally for now, near Inverness, there is one three three metre square area. There is smashers' back door. Enjoy the rest of the week. however you choose to deliver yourself to evil. Mine is the kingdom. We'll be back on Thursday for more of this shit. We'll see you then.

Tata. Finger each other, Queensland, Australia. The Luke and Pete Show is a Stack production and part of the Acast Creator Network.