The Luke and Pete Show - Spunky summer

Episode Date: August 5, 2024

Pete’s yearning for some salt liquorice Spunk but Luke can’t jump onboard. Elsewhere, Luke questions if Donny has what it takes to become a taxi man and Pete likens Luke to JD Vance.Email: [e-mail] or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the Luke and Pete Show. I am Pete Donaldson, the head of this organisation. Nice. Thanks for letting me know. We call it the Luke and Pete Show and Luke is, as discussed before, he's my JD Vance, he's my roommate. He's the man who says what all of the men on forums are thinking. It's Lukey Moor. I said the quiet part out loud. I said the quiet part out loud. Why are you giving me that stuff? He's had a good couple of weeks, hasn't he?

It should have been him having a good time introducing himself to the world, but people are basically saying, why do you think that people who don't have children shouldn't vote? Shouldn't be able to vote. Basically, it's writ large across two entire weeks, that meme which is, well, there isn't the consequences of my own actions. Like, oh, what's that? You're saying all that stuff back in the day before you knew you were going to be running for an important office. He's been saying up this week. Because he's got absolutely no message discipline

whatsoever he's trying to qualify it and explain it and getting it wrong and making it worse. Has he explained having sex with the couch bit yet? Not yet, still waiting for that. By the time this show comes out he might have done. We'll be on to the third or fourth one since then. He might be on CBS or Fox just showing how you would approach in romance a couch. Yeah. It's good stuff. I love people. I love hubris. You know, choosing a running mate like that, it's an Arabian choice.

You think that it's a massive backfire, don't you? And so like, he is, Trump's in a situation now where he goes, ehhhhh. Because like, he's in a situation now where he goes, ahhhhhh, cause like he's getting criticised on Fox News and if nothing else, Trump's gonna watch Fox News, Trump's gonna find out about that everyone thinks he's mental and so like now he's going, ah, ugh. No Trump did come out and sort of defend him, didn't he, on Fox News the other day?

Yeah. And said, oh no, he didn't mean that, he meant this and blah blah. He didn't mean that. I think what's interesting is the idea that basically Trump gets away with everything, right? Yeah. And the talk is that they chose JD Vance because he can take Trumpism on because Trump's getting old and presumably because Trump's sons don't know what day the

fucking week it is and so they've actually someone else but the problem is if you're not Donald Trump even if you want to take Trumpism onto the next level the irony is that if you're not Trump you can't get away with this shit. So Trump will say something which is absolutely outrageous like the other day he was saying just vote for me this time we'll sort it out so there'll be no voting at all in four years or whatever. And no one really says anything. He said, I love you my Christians. My beautiful Christians. But if anyone else says that, people lose their shit, right? So it's a weird kind of paradox that Vance is in. And he's also just, and this is like a trite thing to say, but

he's just also an absolute fucking bellend. Such a bellend. Like so bad. I told you before, I know someone who was at university with him. Yeah, oh yes, that's right. Yeah, yeah. I've read his book as well. I actually read Hill Billy Elegy way back in the day. It's probably quite good. Well, it's kind of okay. I didn't actually think it was that good. When I read it, I thought it was fine and I understood it. And it's a very, very interesting story.

I just felt like then as I feel now that all the kind of quote unquote lessons that were learned from it or they were just completely wrong lessons. Like it's stupid. And so there was a really interesting piece in Rolling Stone last week. I think I shared it with you, of what they're kind of planned appears to be, and it's quite frightening, it's quite sort of dystopian. And I wonder how people who are kind of voting for that stuff, how they square that in their own mind. Because if you're a female voter, are you really, I mean, if you're being totally honest with yourself, are you really, I mean if you're being totally honest with

yourself, are you really happy with like proper return to the 1950s like disenfranchisement of women's rights and like abortion and all that kind of stuff? Is that really where you want to go? Like honestly, it's a weird personality cult that stuff. But it's like what AOC says, like it's incel culture, it's that kind of, you know, tradwife and incel culture, it's all really dark fucking forum stuff that you don't really see, that even for like Trump and even for those kind of the new Republican party, it's still a bit white hot, you can't fuck about with like, you can't be fucking about

like that. That's how it starts though, right? My question is incel culture I get that but my question to you is how does a fairly normal conservative woman get radicalized by fucking incel culture? It doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make any sense. It's fine you can do anything if you want. With the exception of like you know know, Jim Jones in Guyana, like this stuff doesn't really happen at that scale. It's mad. I don't know.

Yeah. It's crazy. It's crazy. It's wild. It's very watchable though, isn't it? It is very watchable. It's all very watchable. It's like watching a really entertaining movie forever.

Yeah. Until missiles start going over your head. Yeah, and then shit will start to come back to you actually it's not a movie it's like one of those fucking terrible theme park rides not the West Wing it's it's dropped a skid missile into the harbor yeah but um scud missile enjoyable throwback do people not still throw scud missiles surely they made loads of scud missiles stop going back've made loads of scud missiles. Stop going back on your forums, I can see you tapping away. I'm looking. I'm looking. Guys, do people still use scud missiles in

2024? Surely some people must be kicking around. We're still using planes from the 60s, aren't we? They're still in service apparently. Still in service, thank you. What does scud stand for? Searing... Chunky... I don't know, because they're Soviet, aren't they? Right, okay. So I don't think it's got a British kind of... I thought we were using SCUD missiles in the Iraq War. Is that where we got them?

Well, I'm literally on the SCUD missile Wikipedia page, which I didn't think I'd be doing today. And it says to me here, the place of origin of the Soviet Union, they've been in service since 1957 to present. Ah, okay. People are still using those bad boys. Hey, if place of origin is the Soviet Union. They've been in service since 1957 to present. Ah, okay. People still using those bad boys. Hey, if it works, don't fix it.

You're right to say that people are still flying around in shit from ages ago, right? But they became, I mean, the Scud missile had its real day in the sun in the Gulf War, right? Yeah, yeah. So who was firing those? The Americans? Why were they getting fired? Like, why were we hearing so much about the Scud missile? Oh no. Was it? No, the Scud missiles, we were firing them at Saddam, weren't we? The Americans were, I think. I think, no, I think that,

was it not the Soviets who had given the Iraqis Scud? Iraqis, I just assumed, when you could hear Scud missiles, I thought we were the ones who were firing them off. But clearly, that doesn't make sense. Well, apparently, 28 members of the Pennsylvania National Guard were killed with a SCUD struck a United States Army barrack in Saudi Arabia. Wow, okay. So, yeah, I think the Americans had their own stuff going on.

Listen, death is not good. It's an awful thing. But it is nice to hear a throwback reference. And the first thing you thought of when you thought of an impending nuclear holocaust was a Scud missile. Exactly. The most famous year in 1991. And there's an enjoyable element to that. And I'll be the storm in Norman of Great Britain. I forgot about him.

You know what? My grandpa, my dad's dad, weirdly, he just reminded me of this. One of the overriding memories of him is that he was always and I mean, always reading. It doesn't take a hero by general Norman Schwarzkopf. Right. Still, it was just like a long read that he never really sort of got. It's a massive thick book. Right. I guess it's his memoir

mmm But he was always Yeah, I know why but he was on the side table, so I mean it sounds like it's a It is very much a put down a book though It doesn't take a hero the autobiography of general Norman Schwarzkopf. He set his style by a simple motto duty honor country And any reviews any any negative reviews of normal Schwarzkopf's the reviews on the Amazon look very good What does Schwartz mean?

Schwartz, so it's black isn't it? Oh Right. Okay. I don't know German Schwartz blackhead Joe storm in Oh, right, give us the review. One of them is about a really serious complaint about the lack of quality of the Kindle version. Ha ha ha ha! That's a big picture, innit? The reviewer has notified both Amazon and Random House of the Errors. And the state of Norman Schwarzkopf.

This is a review that someone's posted in 2011 and has come back to it seven years later. Oh, right. Yeah still not been resolved It's still not finished. It's still not finished then the second one is all in Spanish. Right, okay Give it a little translate. I've done that right. There's some So someone has said this an excellent biographical narrative of a very professional military and committed to the values and principles of military service. He also commanded the force in the first war of the Persian Gulf with great caution, professionalism and with great rationality. This tremendous military leader is worth studying. One star.

One star! There's not even like a pay off, but not here, not in this, in this tome. And the final one is by an Indian reviewer called myank Sharma Who says don't buy bad? I like I like the cut of Sharma's. My grandpa's sadly no longer with us So I can't ask what it was was that was so fascinating about it doesn't take a hero by general Norman Schwarzkopf Did you inherit the copy? Did you inherit the book? I didn't sadly no I didn't Maybe maybe you find that book and you open it up and there's just a big

flask in it. Could have been. Or like some sweets or something, some old candy. Or a lovely porno. A little porno. A little tiny porno bag. But the, so my grandpa was a military guy, he was a navy guy, he got torpedoed in the war actually. He was washed up somewhere off the coast of Africa. Quite an interesting story. I can't remember it, sadly. Right. But that did happen.

Should have written his memoir, shouldn't he? He's a military guy. So he maybe was just interested in other military figures perhaps. Military men, yeah. But is your dad interested in other military figures? Or your granddad? Not really. I think his time in the Navy was just pissing about.

It's like my time at university. It's a lot of drinking. Loading, drinking, lot of fighting. How is Stewie going? You've never been in the fight? I've not got in the fight, but I've done a bit of drinking. Yeah, but you said a lot of drinking and a lot of fighting. Sorry, all right.

He did the fighting and the drinking. I just did the drinking, all right. Have you ever been in the fight? Maybe my next generation that I miss, am it will will just cut them both out Then improve do you have you ever been in the fight? Since school really no Couple of like pushing matches and like you know a bit of neck holding stuff But you wouldn't count that?

I wouldn't count that, that's not a fight. Until um... A blow has to be struck? A blow has to be struck, not um putting each other in um in in pathetic neck holds um and then one of his friend going don't don't do that don't do it he's just come out of prison Why are you calling it a neck hold? I don't know. I would you what do you call it when you hold someone's neck? No, no with your hands like you both your hands like why I are there when you when you're Bart Simpson someone

Yeah, I suppose so yeah, you little kid. Yeah Do you believe that I've ever been in the fight I Reckon pre 22 I reckon you probably have yeah, Jack and I've been beating up before No, it's too big to you too tall people people get scared about tall men not my experience they don't How is Jimmy Johnson doing by the way still going down the local? He's all right. Yeah, I've not respond him to be honest I he discovered the he discovered the mobility mobility scooter I hid in his shed. Oh good! Update this! Well to be honest I only texted him about it. It wasn't explosive.

It probably will be down the charity shop as we speak to be honest. He probably would have saw that. Right, remind people of what you did and why you did it. Dad got bad everything.'s got bad everything, ma'am got bad everything, and so I went to Fish at Marketplace when I was last home and I grabbed a mobility scooter. You're never off face but Marketplace, are you? I love Fish at Marketplace, I absolutely love it.

How much you pay for it? 200 quid. And you just took it in there under the cloak of darkness and hid it in the shed, because they wouldn't have accepted the gift otherwise. Yeah, they wouldn't have accepted it otherwise. So yeah, it's... And so your dad texts you, what did he say?

Cheers for the Mobility Scooter song. Cheers. No, he just said, you shouldn't have. I'm going to throw it away next time I get the gift. Just really... What a heartwarming story. What a heartwarming story. Yeah, it's like it's a wonderful life that. What a beautiful happy ending.

So what I like about that is you're reading the text and the first thing you'll see is you shouldn't have, which is what people say when they're really happy to get a gift. Yeah, yeah. And so you're happy with that. And then the next sentence says, I'm chucking it away instantly. I'm chucking it away right now, yeah. Did you wish you'd kept it? I could get some use out of it.

I've done enough foibles about scooting around Leoncy just you know doing the Lerons and stuff. I don't think I want to be associated with the guy Who's either driving around Leoncy in a Toyota Sentry or a mobility scooter? This is a man of extremes Stretch limos and tiny little scoot scoots I mean I could put the scooper inside I could sort of carve out a hole where the feet are when you're driving it and do like a Fred Flintstone kind of like moving scooter within a thing. That'd be so good. And so your old man, but didn't you say part of the reason you bought the mobility scooter for Stuie was because

the walk back from the pub is uphill or something? Yeah and he's not getting any younger, he's certainly getting slower, you just want to kind of I just want him to I just want him to not hurt himself How many beers will he sink? He sees off about three or four then he comes on as one another one And then he goes to bed at like six. Yeah, it's it's not a life You really want to get started with but I mean he's he's in his mid seventies. What else you gonna do? Can you see it in your future? Yeah, yeah, well, yeah, I just need space. Don't you I mean he's in his mid 70s what else are you going to do? Can you see it in your future? Yeah I can see it in my future.

Well I just need space don't you? I think it's just like you just probably end up kind of going down the allotment and drinking there I think. I think it's imperative because you get more and more set in your ways as you get older it's imperative that you've got a house big enough to do your thing. Yeah, yeah you need space, you need little nooks and crannies that you can just be getting on with things. Yeah, I think so.

My parents haven't got a big enough place for that. There's this small man. They should have. No room for a little trendset or something. My dad's down the shed all the time. He's got a shed which he joins onto the garage. Nice, OK. He's always doing schemes.

Yeah, schemes. He's always scheming down there doing something or other. You're his biggest scheme. I think so, but I think he's kind of washed his hands of me now. He's said scheme done. You're done. Finished. Yeah, you're totally cracked up.

That Scud missile has fired off. That's a metaphor I'd prefer not to think about, but yeah. I get what you mean. Yeah. I've done my bit. Yeah. I've fired my Scud missile into the Saudi Arabia. Into Saudi Arabia.

What a confusion. This is a weird sex education class. Yeah. Let's have a break. When we come back, we've got some emails to do, Pete. And we've got to get bloody well through them. Because I said to Tony yesterday in the office, I said, I'm happy with this running order

that you gave us there to kind of help us out if we need it. But we've got so many emails now, it's 22 pages long. So we are going to need to get through some of them the other side of this break. It's the Luke and Pete Show. I'm Pete Donaldson. I've just remembered an edit note for a previous show I need to tell Taylor, but I'll do that later. I'll do that later. Give people a little glimpse behind the curtain there. Give them a little glimpse around the curtain. We have no curtains.

It's like the Wizard of Oz in here. Yes, we've got some emails to read out. Which email would you like to start with, Luke Emu? And I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. Can you give people the email address first? Oh, it's helloatlunkepecho.com. Everyone knows that.

Everyone's familiar with that. Everyone knows. Well, sometimes you do like hello, you do hello absolute radio or something, don't you? Even though you've not been there for 12 years. 81215 was their text number. 83936 was XFM's and I got those mixed up all of the time. I used to do the talk sport one.

Because you have to do it all the time. You learn it off top of your head. Yeah. I can't remember. Do the one from David, but you need to explain it because he's not giving us any context and there's a accompanying photo which you're gonna need to describe so do that one first. Okay. Hey Luke, Pete. Love the show, long-time listener, no context really. I just passed by these in a Swedish shop. I recently moved to Gothenburg from Pete's neck of the woods and I'm also a Geordie and I saw these I picked up some milk I'm not sure I'm keen and and David has sent us a lovely picture of I believe the The brand or the I guess style

the genus of this particular candy is Vin Gummi and There is also a version that is salt liquorice salt, salt lacrish as they would say out there. But the brand name is Spunk. Oh get us a box of Spunk. Get us a box of Spunk. Now if you've ever been to the Swedish cafe on I think Charlotte Street maybe, there is near where my old agency was, you can, I was just, I had like a good,

I had a Spunky summer, one summer, where I would walk over and just buy a pack every every couple of days and that would see me go and I'd blacken teeth From the salt licorice so like hot like really heavy kind of like they're almost like little God what they alter not all toys or something used to be able to get them They were like little black bits of quite strong licorice They you put under your gums and you just have a lovely licoricey flavour all day God, I love licorice. Yeah, the Scandies love that don't they? They love it. They love it in Iceland as well. Yeah Beautiful. I am lov-it. But I don't think we should, I mean it's not gonna be, it's not really gonna Probably be that successful a little product launch in the UK with that name I'm afraid. No. There's a good sketch about how

Smeaggot their name for Fridge, I don't know how they got, I don't know how they got I don't know how they dare. They must be Scandinavian as well right? Gotta be hasn't it yeah. I'm gonna look it up. Do you really sort of it's Scandinavia the place that you go for your fridges do you know what I mean like like cars Japan US that's you know you made it well Germany I guess as well. Oh Smeag is Italian. Oh saucy. Babadaboubee. Yeah, you'd expect it to be, you'd definitely expect it to be Scandinavian, but they're Italian apparently, there you go.

What about this from Dan, he says, hi chaps, a lot has been made of Pete's inability to engage in small talk. Listening back to an episode of Luke and Peter from September, 2021 entitled, The Least Trusted Haircut, Pete claimed that one normal job he could in fact do would be a taxi driver. My question is what would be Pete's go-to topics of conversation with the passengers? All the best, Dan. So let me give you a scenario, Peter. Let's just say you've got a Toyota

Century, which is basically a limo anyway, a taxi driver's car. You've got your light on. You've got your license. You're going out for your first pick up. It's a Friday afternoon. Yeah. Sunshine and birds singing. Yeah. Yeah. You start to pick up some trade. You pull over.

Someone gets in the back and says, take me to the Tower of London. Yeah, whatever. Yeah. You go, right. You are. You are. Boss. No. Cheers. Put the meter on. Yeah. What's your right, you are, boss, no, cheers. Put the meter on. What's your tactic? What's your first approach to conversational topic? Before they even start getting into the car, I am already shouting out of the window something about Sadiq Khan.

I am already starting. I'm already starting on my on my anti Sadiq Khan dietary to be honest. Yeah, I'm already going No, I think that's a really low percentage play What do you mean? That's gonna be 50% of the people there in it. You've said Tower of London. Yeah, so they're probably tourists It's good point, hasn't it? Occupying the role of a stereotypical cab driver. Okay, you've got to You're not occupying the role of a stereotypical cab driver. OK. You've got to think about what would get yourself a better tip, maybe. Right. OK.

Give people an enjoyable journey. You might want to review on the app of choice or whatever. So you need to be meeting them halfway. Yeah. Where are you from, for example? Yeah. OK. So I'll be the taxi driver. I'll be the passenger. You be the taxi driver. You start the conversation and we'll see how it goes.

All right. OK. Are you? Where are you from? You be the taxi driver, you start the conversation and we'll see how it goes. Alright, okay. Um, are you, uh, where are you from? So you've got to give us an, you've got to give us an idea. Make it like nice and exotic. Okay. I'm from, um, Kazakhstan. Right. That rhymes with Khan, doesn't it? What you, what is very good what you need is some trivia associated with lots of different places

Oh nice yeah yeah yeah So if I said I'm from Kyrgyzstan you could say that's the only double landlocked country in the world Err Oh that's not actually Kyrgyzstan is the one which is the furthest away from the sea Right Uzbekistan and Lichinstein are the only double landlocked countries in the world. How do you become double landlocked? So you've got a landlocked but then you've got countries around that are also landlocked. Are also landlocked?

Oh that's a delicious doughnut of land. Lovely. And you're at the epicentre effectively. I like that very much. But if I said to you, oh I'm from... They would know that though wouldn't they? I don't think you're telling them anything. Yeah, you're telling them they probably know.

They probably hear that every day. Yeah. If I said, oh I'm from Australia, I'm from the UK, I'm from the UK, I'm from the UK, I'm from the UK, I'm from the UK, I'm from the UK, I'm from the UK, I'm from the UK, I'm from the UK, I'm from the UK, I'm from the UK, I'm from the UK, I'm from the UK, I'm from the UK, I'm from the UK, I'm from the UK, I'm from the UK, I'm from the, oh I'm from... They would know that though, wouldn't they? I don't think you're telling them anything they don't already know. Yeah, you're telling them they probably know. They probably hear that every day. If I said, oh I'm from Australia, I'm visiting my son-in-law and we're having a week in London and we're just doing some tourist stuff. So yeah, it's been good so far. Yeah.

Okay. So hang on, but if they're from like... Just go along with it. I'm a normal customer. I'm stuck on the Kazakhstan bit, aren't I? Forget that then. I'm trying to find something spicy about one of their neighbours. Stop Googling, you can't Google, you're driving the car. You can't Google.

I've got Google lenses. Bad things about Kyrgyzstan. Kyrgyzstan, right. Bad things about Kyrgyzstan. Why are you presenting bad things? Well, because then I can sort of banter along with them I'm gonna have some kind of natural so right real time conversation I'm in the back of my with my friend guy. He's googling yeah, he's googling at the moment It's googling worst things about bishkek

Worst is that the name of the is that the capital yeah if i go to bursch keck and i go review do they review cities i don't actually know you're losing me here yeah you need to you need to use pick this up because there's no review there's no reviews of just there's there's the yeah there's no reviews of of kershkak itself burschkeck itself b, it's confusing. Anyway. It's a beautiful country by the look of it. I'll just Google the image in Kurdistan now. It is, yeah, Kurskak's known as being very, very pretty indeed. Like proper, like, proper mix of East and West.

It's beautiful. What's really interesting to think about is there's over a million people living in Bishkek and I literally had never heard the name of the city before. It's one of those, but it's one of those kind of like cities that I bet you have to get a fucking tour guide and you can't just wander around yourself. It's one of those places where you have to get a fucking tour guide and you can't just wander around yourself. It's one of those places where you have to get a visa.

Yeah, I'd quite fancy going to Mongolia, but you can't fly directly from the UK. Where would you fly to? I think you have to fly via Beijing. Oh, and go back on yourself a little bit. Into Yelambator. Oh, interesting. Yeah, it's actually quite cheap as well. I'd love to go. Anyway, so I hope that answers your question, Dan.

You've not given us any go-to topics to conversation apart from Sally Karts. Do you want any more before we move on? I'll just give you the worst review of the Novatel Bishkek City Center. Go on. All right, hang on. Let me just find reviews.

I don't want to write a review. Search relevant lowest rating. Just visibly damaged by previous occupants in one of the rooms. The USB plugs don't work. The hotel helped a strange man out in my room at night, causing me serious shock. It's good stuff anyway. We are sponsored by the Bishkek Tourist Board this week. If they want to send us, I'd be happy to go. We'd happily go to Bishkek. We'd happily go to B this week. If they want to send us, I'd be happy to go. We'd happily go to Bishkek.

What about this? We'll finish up with this email then from Eleanor. She says, Hi, Luke and Pete. Hello to you, Eleanor. I'm unsure whether the story I'm about to tell involves a minor crime, so we'd prefer this to remain anonymous. Well, no one knows your second name. Good point, yeah. I'll tell you what, would it be helpful for you, Erna, if I just Googled quickly how many Eleanors are there in the world? Right.

Yeah. Good point. And apparently in 2021, there were 7059 people named Eleanor. So you could be anyone. I appreciate you probably are older than three years old, but it's a general kind of consensus. Yeah you'd be alright. Apparently there's an estimated 215,918 Eleanors in the United States alone. Wow that seems excessive. There you go you'll be fine because I think you're pretty anonymous. It's just by listening to a recent podcast I

remembered a story from my childhood that I think you'll enjoy, but maybe not Pete. For quite a while, we had a rat in our garage. My dad wants to put poison down and be done with it, but my mom insisted that he catch them humanely and release them. Disclaimer, I've not read this email ahead of time. So if it goes south, that's on Eleanor and you'll never find her because she's only one of 200,000 of them. So take your complaint somewhere else. My dad agreed and bought and put down humane traps, That's on Eleanor and you'll never find her because she's only one of two hundred thousand of them. So take your complaint somewhere else. My dad agreed and bought and put down humane traps waiting to catch the rat that had been plaguing his garage for months.

Is this the start of a Disney movie? It feels like it might be. Let's go with it. Eventually he caught the rat and read up on how to release it. Once he had done a considerable amount of research, he packed the rat into the car and set off for its release. At this point I should mention my dad is a massive Sunderland fan and unfortunately has ended up living in Mag territory, for those who don't know Newcastle territory,

most of his adult life. After being gone for just over an hour, my dad returned home very pleased with himself. When my mom asked him where he released it, my dad simply replied, I took it home to be with its own kind. It wasn't until a considerable amount of time later that he admitted that they had driven as close to St James's Park as he could and released the rat to join his true family. Love the podcast. I'm sure whether this could result in a considerable fine for releasing vermin, but thought I'd

let you know, Eleanor. So that is quite a good story. I don't think that would be a crime with it. I don't know. I hope not because I released a mouse outside Halfords a few weeks ago so I hope Halfords doesn't get me on a technicality. They catch you and the manager's like leave it, he's one of our best customers, leave it. Overpriced bulbs, so I'm putting them on. You're in there all the time though, your name's going to be mud. Yeah but no, but it's not suspicious. If I'm there all the time though, your name's going to be mud. Yeah but no, but it's not suspicious. If I'm there all the time, but I did this kind of very theatrical, oh I'm just tying

my shoelace, throw the mouse out, run, get in the car. Please tell me this happened. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we occasionally get mice in the thing and I have to drive them for miles, but I was so happy, I was picking up some engine oil, so yeah, threw a mouse at Halfords. That's the second weirdest thing to happen at Halfords for you since you for some reason picked up that hitchhiker outside Halfords. Oh yeah, forgot about that. These were separate people. No, he's not been turned into a mouse. Maybe he came back to try and get try and get my attention.

Did you try and pay for the engine oil with a mouse currency? If if you don't give me the engine off the thing would throw it. Oh, there was a guy. Um, where was I? Although you know those type of characters that you and I talk about that We actually really love that there's really kind of extravagant quite odd. Yes people who work in the public-facing job. Yeah I'll tell you what it was. It was in the co-op in One of the towns in the Lake District that I was at right and what you should tell you about I haven't told you about that yet, but I'll tell you about it maybe in a future show because we went for a trip and it was fun. But anyway, we were in this co-op in this tiny town in the Lake District and the guy

working there, just one guy working there, was obviously just, he thought he was the guy because all he did was deal with old ladies all day and he liked to make jokes and stuff. And he was genuinely one of those people who's like, good day, mine lady. What is one procuring from our fine emporium this afternoon? Right. It was literally like that. I'll stand at the key behind this old lady. She was loving it to be fair. So he knows his audience. But the thing he said was like, the lady got a little bit flustered trying to put her shopping into her bag and she forgot to pay. Right. No joke, she forgot to pay so she just put her stuff in the bag and just started to walk off completely innocently.

Broke her arm. And he shouted after her, excuse me, excuse me, under our capitalist system an exchange of currency is warranted. I like him. It was funny. He's got it. I like it. It was funny. Do you know what, I like it. Do you know

what though, do you know what ruined it for me? What? I went up there, guess what he said to me? He said to me racist. No, he just went. Something about Khan. He just went alright mate, cash or card. Aww. Do some oldie timey talk with me, I appreciate it. He's dulled it right down for me. He thinks I'm not going to appreciate it but I would have appreciated it. He's old things to old men. Like one of those geezers, once he knocks off from the co-op and he goes for a beer on the way home, he's like, Serving wench! Barkeep. My flagon of foaming frothy ale, please.

If you would be so kind. Get on him. So, good way to end the show this week, I think. Yep. Lovely. Alright, we'll be back on Thursday and we will, we shall be requiring your electrical cells. That's, can't do it, it's impossible. No, you've not got the confidence for it. No. Thursday and we will we shall be requiring your electrical cells. That's impossible. You've not got the confidence for it.

I think you should do it as a cab driver though. I don't have the lexicon, I don't have the vernacular, I don't have the memory. If you were a cab driver I think that should have been your kind of USP. What, don't have batteries? No, dresses like a medieval merchant. It's pretty hot. Sweating. Just sweating. Just feel like. A suit of armour. Good shit. Sweating. Just feel like, good privy fair maiden.

Chin mail burns. Take myself through the car wash to cool down. Nail in the parade. Trying to stay hydrated. I didn't realise that lady. Excuse me, is that a ruff you're wearing? Just pulling out in front of fucking pedestrians because you can't turn your head because of your massive ruff. And the abscess is under my wooden teeth. Alright, we'll be back on Thursday. If you want to get in touch with the show, Hello Luke and Pete Show is the way to do it. If you found a battery in a bit of electronica, we want to hear from you, hellolukeandpeetshow.com.

Luke, give me a say goodbye my friend. Goodbye. You cool off sunshine, It's too hot. The Luke and Pete show is a stack production and part of the A-Cast Creator Network.