The Luke and Pete Show - Steak Gate

Episode Date: May 16, 2024

Pete tells us about the highlight of his Cornwall holiday - his microwave steaks - but Luke's sure that if he served it to Jeremy Clarkson he'd be a goner! Elsewhere, the lads conclude that farmers don't need to be paid more after Pete tells us how easily one guy – somewhere, one time – scraped together a million pounds to save his kidnapped daughter. Then Luke rants about conspiracies and anti-vaxxers.Plus, Pete's convinced doctor's just want to put their fingers up bums after he went to a Eurovision party where his neighbour talked all things prostates.Want to get in touch with the show? Email: [e-mail] or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, this is Dirt Luke and Pete Show. Hello, I'm a Dalek and I am very upset about the new Doctor Who dancing on the television. Exterminate! It wasn't that Dalek-y, that. What? Just because you're the exterminator at the end. Exterminate! That's better. I can't. I've just eaten a big bowl of rice.

Are people vexed about The New Doctor, are they? I don't fucking know. I think one person says it on a social. On a social? And then a news agency think that's carte blanche to amplify that sort of nonsense, to be quite frank. I watched the first episode of The New Doctor. Who and I enjoyed it?

Did you? Is it what's so good about it? It's just it's just it's just such a national institution now that there's an element

maybe it's for people of my generation or my generation and older or whatever it's like a almost like quite a joyous throwback right

because it's a bit shonky and they haven't got the budget to do like a big budget thing and and the storylines are, in their own way, quite infantile, but they're also very,

they can be kind of, very kind of compelling. Right. And there's something very British about it. Isn't the main writer back on it? He is, he is.

Oh, Doctor Who. Yeah. That's his name, Doctor Who. Named after himself. Doctor Who writer. Yeah. What was the, is it, oh no. Russell T. Davis. No, I'm trying name, Doctor Who. Named it after himself. Doctor Who writer. Yeah. What was the, is it?

Russell T. Davis. No, I'm trying to find that one. I think I've only ever watched one full Doctor Who in my life. And it was one from the 70s. I would have thought you'd like it. That was very racist. Oh, okay. I would have thought you'd like it.

It was a man, a white man dressed as a Chinese man, I think. Anyway. It was the 70s. It was the 70s. I would say with the old dog. Yeah, never been a fan. I had a couple of close friends when I was a kid. That's why I saw the racist one back in the day.

But I've just kind of bounced off it a little bit. I think it's BBC One though, isn't it? I've been burned by Only Fools and Horses and that loving. Yeah. I shall not have. Famously similar shows. Famously similar. One is about a time-travelling doctor with two hearts.

Yeah. And the other one is Doctor Who. It's Doctor Who, yeah. But I just think there's something very British about it. I kind of like the way it's shot. There's a seductive part of it which takes me back to my childhood something very British about it. I like, I kind of like the way it's shot, the way it like, there's a seductive part of it which takes me back to my childhood

where like, the adventures at the start of each season always start with like a normal day in like a suburban place. Yes. And it's something extraordinary happens. Yeah.

And you think, when you're a kid, you think, oh man, that would be amazing. That could happen to us. That would be amazing if that happened, right?

So I do like it. I don't go out of my way to watch it. I do watch it when it's on. I also think there's an element of it, which is back in the day, it would have been appointment TV for the whole family. It's a little bit scary for the kids. There's nothing there for the parents to like,

something you can bond over. And there isn't that much TV like that now. TV is so kind of granular in its detail, the stuff that people kind of targets, that you don't really see as much of that and so yeah I really loved it I mean we're on series

14 of the new one now right because it stopped at about a 15-year break didn't it and the ones I liked were the ones with Matt Smith Matt Smith was probably my

favorite doctor people do say that yeah he's just brilliant at the role he's perfect for the role really so anyway I didn't plan to talk about Doctor Who

but here we are the thing I also recently watched you're going to hate this but I'll stick it out there anyway because I do want to ask you about your holiday

because we pre-recorded some episodes we did yes because you were going to be away and now you're back and I know you're back because you're sitting

right here in front of me so I'm pretty sure you're back but before we do that I finished the most recent season of Clarkson's Farm as well which I love right okay yeah is it has it been a success because I was um spent a bit of time in the old new forest recently um in amongst a lot of farmers uh one night in an Airbnb what were you doing in amongst them um I was just, we were on the way back from Cornwall

and we arrived. We thought there would be a grill for which to cook 30 quid's worth of steak that Sarah bought. There wasn't, so I microwaved two steaks, which was...

Why do you have to tell every story so depressing? Absolutely. Surprisingly okay. Why didn't you put it in the oven? It didn't have an oven. So you went to an Airbnb and the only cooking facility

anywhere was a microwave a microwave and a kettle now I'm not boiling it in the kettle I'm not putting I considered there's a lot about you

that you have to say that I considered putting in the toaster but that would have made too much oily sort of fire what about a fire outside? in New Forest you can't have fires outside

can you? oh square well I did go to the petrol station and I said, have you got any of those disposable barbecue filled with

pre-petroled briquettes? And they said, and he went, he was a funny bro, he went, oh no, there's no petrol stations around

here that sell them. It's politically incorrect. Why is he Scottish? Because he was Scottish. In the New Forest? In the New Forest. He's got terribly lost.

Can't happen. Can't happen. They do move down here. But he said there's no petrol station around here that'll sell them.

We're in the New Forest you're not allowed them. And I said oh right yeah that makes sense. He goes it's politically incorrect. Right.

I don't know what he meant by that. One of those isn't it? One of those. Yeah it's just confusing. That. I don't know what he meant by that. One of those, isn't it? One of those. Yeah, it's just confusing. That's almost quite literally like the conversation Alan has with Michael in Alan Parker. You can't have open fires on the forecourt.

It's political correctness gone now. So you had no choice but to microwave two lovely juicy steaks. No choice but to microwave two juicy steaks with a baked potato and a little bit of mushroom. How did you prepare the steaks before you microwaved them? It was basically I filled a bowl full of butter

and kind of like basted, fried them, kind of like deep fat fried them, but in a bowl of oil. It wasn't great, I would say, but Sarah did comment, I'm surprised and you've actually cooked other steaks worse, if you know what I mean. Right.

You've actually done worse elsewhere. Well, I think we know how your holiday went. We've got everything now. That thing's everything we need. I went to the New Forest and a lot of farmers kicked around. Did you see a lot, though? Because you've rarely seen more than one at once. Well, just doing stuff

dicking around with horses and stuff like all kinds of business right and then you know busy bastards tractors

with their big heavy machinery and I do sort of think like I think it's more because we we're of an age

where agriculturally we're in the doldrums and continue to be in the doldrums. We're told constantly that farmers are on the bread line and stuff like that. And then,

I remember there was a documentary about the daughter of a father who got kidnapped by a cult. And he managed to find a million quid very quickly.

Yeah. He was a farmer. Yeah. So I'm just thinking, when I see these farmers, I go, I bet if your son was kidnapped, you could find a million quid real quick.

I don't think that's rigorous research. I just think it's not as bad as they might be making out. Because it was such a good, being a landowner, such a good thing. To be a farmer. So you're some kind of death row minister,

or kind of like cabinet minister. You're not having your red diesel. You've got enough of our money. You say, we're giving it to the nurses. They don't need it, diesel. You've got enough of our money. You say... We're giving it to the nurses. They don't need it, but they need it. I appreciate your concerns. However, I once heard of a farmer's daughter

that was kidnapped. And he managed to get a million quid. Don't ask for the details. I haven't got it. No. But he managed to find a million pounds. So I think the issue appears to be, and there's obviously several different types

of farming, right? I'm not a farming expert at all. And I'm sure there are wealthy, successful farmers out there. The issue surely is that they're so exposed to market forces,

weather, climate, all that kind of stuff, that it's now becoming... So is everybody though? Not really. Guys. Not really. So is...

We are. Your crop's not going to fail. We're going to shit you all, yeah. Your crop's not going to fail. All our crops failed shit you all, yeah. Your crop's not going to fail. All our crops failed last year. Back off. Our crops have got names. We're going to name them.

We can't name them because we were the biggest failures. We can't name them. But what I'm saying is, in that show, it's a TV show. It's entertainment. Don't read too much into it. He's not going to be destitute by the end of the show. Let's make that very clear. He actually says at the end of each series,

let's not forget, I've got loads of other revenue streams. I'm very fortunate. I think it actually shows a side to him, who I think is a problematic character. I've heard terrible stories about people who've worked on productions with him. I'm not going to go into details because I can't. I'm fully aware of the character he is or may be, but...

If people are going to shout, Luke, you're like Jeremy Clarkson you better know a bit about the man and what he's up to speaking of steaks he punched someone because he didn't

get a steak exactly yeah imagine if you'd microwaved him you'd be dead you'd be buried under his farm

and just as Jeremy Clarkson was putting the final bits of soil on top of your grave Sarah would walk past and go

he's cooked worse than that dig him up I think it shows a side to him which is very compelling and interesting and he is a very charismatic TV and go he's cooked worse than that dig him up I think it shows a side to him which is very compelling and interesting and he is a very charismatic

TV performer and he's very watchable now the reason what it's made me realise is the reason I haven't consumed many of his products in the past is because you're not into cars

I don't care about cars I don't read tabloid newspapers it's not really my area when he gets into something that's actually very interesting for loads of different reasons and there are supporting cast that are also very interesting.

And it's set in a situation where farming, this shit's all changing. And it's changing because of the economy. It's changing because of the modern way of life. It's changing because of the climate. Me and my opinions. You and your opinions are part of it. Very damaging.

The guy from the National Farmers Union, I think it was, came out after the first series and said, this show has done more for the image of farming and the understanding of the frustrations we have and the challenges we face than 30 years of BBC's Countryfile, right? That tells you that it's actually quite exposing

and quite interesting. So I enjoy it. I also, I'm a sucker for anything set in Britain with those drone shots on a nice morning. Yeah. At dawn. Yeah. You can't go wrong with those, can you? They must be shooting those from like 25 hours a day though.

Drone shots of the English countryside. It's wild. Yeah, I think they've got their own. I'm pretty sure that Clarkson's production company are making this stuff. He's also got a stake in the IP of Top Gear, hasn't he? I've got a stake in the microwave. Yeah. Can you sell that to 200 different countries

I imagine he does but I imagine I bet the BBC was silly enough to give him a slice back in the day big time you'd be all over that

wouldn't you back in the day I am the brand so if you want me to stay this is happening yeah because there weren't any more avenues

other than your TV show back in the day now it's like curiously it makes me know it doesn't give me any extra interest to watch his other stuff about cars no well it makes me know it doesn't give me any extra interest to watch his other stuff about cars

no well it is I mean it was less about cars more about we put a thing in the thing and made it go

quick and smash it was that wasn't it it's basically Mr Beast he was basically Mr Beast for the

you know for the boomer generation finger up the bum generation kind of like check your prostate out.

Oh, right. The way you make it sound is like it's perverted. It is perverted. My neighbour was saying that he went... Not your neighbour again. My neighbour said... Your neighbour. In our listeners' minds and in my mind,

you never stop talking to your neighbour about weird shit. It's the only people I talk to. Yeah. We were at a Eurovision party last week with him. That's actually outrageous by you. What do you mean? You slag Eurovision off all the time. I do, it's not very good.

Oh, you like it now, the boycott in Israel, do you? I see you, I see you. Did you see the... Yeah, the neighbor said that he went for a medical finger up the bum thing. At the Eurovision Song Contest party, he's telling you about his finger up his bum. That makes it sound like he was trying to defend himself after fingering on the forebeck. Was it just the two of you? I like it now, I've had a finger up the bum thing at the Eurovision Song Contest party he's telling you about his finger up his bum that makes it sound like

he was trying to defend himself was it just was it just I like you know I've had a finger up my bum was it just the two of you there but I just think that in

2024 there should be a better way yeah than getting the old I just think digits glove sensations

that probably is the best way for a doctor and a man going or a woman going, eh, maybe. I need to repeat the examination. Exactly. It just seems very imprecise. Surely there must be some kind of like...

Scan. Measurement tube you can just pop up there. But that's not going to be anywhere near as pleasant, is it? I don't know. We'll make a very thin one. A thin measurement tube. Thinner than a finger anyway. We'll make a very thin one, a thin measurement tube. Thinner than a finger, anyway.

What are you talking about? What's a thin measurement tube? What's it measuring? The size of a prostate. Whether it's

inflamed or not. Are you saying there's a worldwide conspiracy among the medical fraternity that they can just scan for it? Yeah, exactly that.

Exactly that. Anyway, for the second half of the show, we will be doing it. Why aren't they telling us how to do it?

Why aren't they teaching us how to check our own prostates? We could get that. Anyway, for the second half of the show, we will be doing it. Why aren't they telling us how to do it? Why aren't they teaching us how to check our own prostate? We could get that done. It's the angle, probably. What? It's the angle, isn't it? It's not the angle. I can reach every bit.

Instantly dismiss that. I promise you it's not the angle. I can reach every part if I needed to. Yeah. What was the Eurovision party like apart from that? It was good. The same neighbour was just talking about

the sexy costumes that a lot of them seemed to wear. How many people were there? Uh, 15. Oh, what's that?

A few, yeah. Good turnout then. A few dogs. The whole street. My dog had to go to another dog. It's good.

What, sexually or aggressively? Aggressively. It wasn't their fault. It was the other dog's fault. What happened? The other one kept jumping up at a neighbour's baby's face. What breed?

They were both part of terriers. So, you know, they're just terriers. They're just dickheads, aren't they? Yeah. And I was trying to move the dog away from the baby and that got the dog angry. And so the dog started having a go at my dog. And so it's just a bit embarrassing when they start.

So which one was flying the fly? Sounds like a nursery rhyme. And it finished because the cow jumped over the moon. Yeah, exactly. So did that bring the mood of the party down? No, no. Did you do some wisecracking that you thought went well but backfired? I did a lot of

prostate stuff yeah I checked both dogs' prostates to see what was going wrong what was the crowd like

yeah very nice yeah just a nice barbecue it was it was perfect was it a good in bed by 10 up for 6 to

Japan everyone was having a lovely time was it a better crowd than you what's up football great group that what's up football

group might be getting worse and do they are you a very silent part of it yes you just sum up the booking confirmation I vote in the player of the season and I vote in the

whether I'm going to turn up on a Sunday I think the rest I or if someone asks me if I've got a red shirt I'll say yes I got a red shirt, I'll say, yes, I've got a red shirt and then I'm out. Though I do voyeuristically

watch all the grot they send. So you... You've told me quite a lot about this group. Why don't you just tell our listeners the vibe of what... Because you've found the group to play football with.

You've probably found them locally. You wanted to be a part of the team. So you joined the WhatsApp group. Pretty standard stuff. But the WhatsApp group has started to go awry. Just a lot of howling at the moon at 11 o'clock in the evening.

Just drunk lads. Funny that, isn't it? And what are the others up to? Just drunk lads just talking about how much they enjoy the camaraderie of 90 minutes on a weekend. Some of them want to fight, don't they? Some of them do want to fight. Some of them do want to find out the kind of deals for men weekend. Some of them want to fight, don't they? Some of them do want to fight.

Some of them do want to find out the kind of deals for men in their town that they want to fight. It's just a world I'm just not usually... It's great traditional British stuff. You never see it written down.

It's like social history. Yeah, I see what you mean. And you, is it a pick-up game? Are you making a contribution to the team? Are they playing in a league? What's going on?

We're playing three at the back. I'm a centre-back at the moment. It's a mess. What, you're a keeper? It's a mess. No, I'm a centre-back. How's that going for you? Do you know what you're doing?

They're quite old, immobile men that we're facing off against. Although, bless, we did absolutely hammer a team. 9-1. The keeper had given up by that point and just letting them in. And at the final whistle, when I shook someone's hand,

he went, WrestleMania, Pete. Did he? He was a patron member. I was like, oh. That's curious. He's giving me money. He's giving me money.

I said that to you before. I hate that. I hate that kind of sorreptitious recognition. Yeah. There was a lad outside my house who said, love the ramble. And I was like, ah.

But it was really obvious because I had my stupid car. I was getting in my stupid car. You live in your brand. Yeah. So this isn't my house. He knows where you live. This isn't my house.

The lucky thing for me is if I see someone quite near where I live, I might do another lap of the block. You can't be too careful. Really? You can't be too careful. Would you actually? If someone saw you approaching your house, you would just do another lap of the block. You can't be too careful. Really? You can't be too careful. Would you actually? If someone saw you approaching your house,

you would just do another lap? I had an Uber driver once who was quite odd. Right. And he knew the Ramble. Right. And it was quite late at night and he was talking at the Ramble quite a lot. Yeah.

And I did get him to drop me off at a different house and I waited and I walked up. But you would have written your actual address down, wouldn't you? Sorry. You just have the road. You just have the road. Why are we laughing so much? Luke might have accidentally doxxed himself on this.

Without complaining about that. What are we like? That's twice this show we've doxxed ourselves. Right. What time edited it out. While complaining about that. What are we like? That's twice this show we've doxxed ourselves. It is. Right. What time is it? Let's have a break. Because when we come back

we are going to do batteries. We've got some interesting submissions but I've also got news that since I last saw Peter I think I'm right on saying he's on his 43rd birthday. Ah. So we should talk about that as well.

Okay. Cool. Welcome back to the Luke and Pete show. Every Thursday we talk about all as well. Cool. Welcome back to The Little Picture. Every Thursday we talk about all things batteries. If you've got a battery that you've found in your life, we want pictures, we want details, and let's see if we can get them into the battery daddy. Hey, boys, says Andrew.

A new player is about to enter the game, maybe Kuromi. Coming at you from Japan with a potential new player, Kuromi Alkaline Batteries. Found these bad boys at the 100 yen shop. Always a lot of fun. I'm not even sure if these count as a real brand of batteries. I think they'd be Daiso. Just re-skinned with the popular Sanrio character, Kuromi.

You'll probably be familiar with Hello Kitty, who is the most popular Sanrio character overseas. I am familiar with Hello Kitty, but I don't really know what she does. Just a little cat, isn't she? No clue what it's all about. Possibly a rabbit. I can't remember.

I said the clues and the name. It's probably... It's probably a cat, isn't it? Yeah. It's probably a cat. Yeah, I just don't know what they really get up to. So you're accepting these batteries because they are endorsed and branded

by some kind of cartoon character. You know what? I think at this point, we are not flush with batteries. They are batteries. They are batteries. They are batteries, and they are branded as Karomi, and there's no other kind of branding

on the front of the packaging. So I think we should take those at face value, even though we know that Daiso are the ones that actually create them. What's Daiso? I think Daiso make consumables. They make car filters and, you know, oil lines and stuff.

Is a car filter a consumable? Yeah. Is it? An oil filter on a car. When you change your oil, you've got to change your filter. Lest it become clogged. I thought a consumable

was things that people consume all the time. Yeah. How many oil filters have you bought in your life? Actually, that's a broad question to ask you. Three.

Anyway, listen. I look after my cars. If you're making the call, Peter, which you're entitled to do, they are the first battery of this type we've seen. So they are a new player entering the game. I mean, it's basically like having a Harry Kane battery. Oh, the Harry Kanes.

They're allowed to be in there. I think they should be in there at this point in the experiment, I think. Fine. Yeah, fine. New player then. All right then. Congratulations to you, Andrew. Congratulations. Congratulations to the Sun reorgan, I think. Fine. Yeah, fine. You played it. All right, then. Congratulations to you, Andrew.

Congratulations. Congratulations to the Sun Reorganisation. Chris. Hola from Mallorca. Back from a night out in Parma, a punk movie-themed Craftdale place. Photos attached to the Airbnb. And the girlfriend was not surprised

that I'm emptying my remotes left, right and centre and an aircon controller. He's included the photo of his girlfriend who seems to be a willing accomplice in whatever scheme this is. Yeah, and she is eating a delicious hamburger. Some chunky chips. Some chunky, chunky chips.

And they've also caught in the background a man who looks a little bit like the man who's on EastEnders. Okay, bear with me. Who swears a lot. Hello. Hello there. No one swears on these denders yeah well he swears

in real life you proper nut proper geezer oh Danny Dye Danny Dye looks like Danny Dye how can you not remember the name

of Danny Dye because I've eaten a whole bowl of rice oh yeah so delicious I don't know what you've done to the running order

by making I made a photo of Danny Dye I'm bigger so I could help you out with your fucking early onset. You speak in riddles, mate.

Yeah, I know. So, yeah. So, anyway, they've come in with some... Tell us the battery, bros. The photos are great. J-Y-B-G-J-Y-Y-B-J-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-B J-Ying J-Ying J-Ying J-Ying I think that probably I don't know how it goes out

Yeah We've also got Premio Super Alkaline Made in Belgium And Segasa Super Alkaline Segasa

I feel bad Saying this To our dearly beloved Listener Chris Who's from Wiltshire And Sorry I went a bit off mic Did a bit

Simon Jordan A bit Robbie Savage then No Robbie Savage Isn't off mic He's bit Simon Jordan bit Robbie Savage then no Robbie Savage isn't off mic he's wet mouth he's wet mouth yeah I feel bad

our friend Chris electricity risk from Wiltshire who's currently in Mallorca none of those are new players not one of them that is a shame

you've had a run up you've given it your best go at least had a nice burger and met Danny Dyer you've met a Danny Dyer doppelganger yeah and what there's another one of your girlfriend who's just pointing at things oh yeah had a nice burger and met Danny Dyer. You've met a Danny Dyer doppelganger. Yeah.

And, what, there's another one of your girlfriend who's just pointing at things. Oh yeah. Yeah, what are they pointing at? It's a punk bar.

It looks like a punk bar. It is a punk bar and you can tell because, Because you're in it in the background? There's one flag that says no effects on it. No effects.

And a little descendants postcard in the background. You know what? If that was in any city that I was residing in, or any city I was visiting for the weekend with a mate, that is where we would be. It's in Parma, New York. From 8pm until 1am in the morning.

I've been to Parma, great spot. Cracking. No new players, Chris. Thanks for your efforts. Appreciate it. Send the very best to your girlfriend and to Danny Dyer. But no new players, I'm afraid. Michael is coming with

a rather offensive sentence one of these little four cunts should make it into a hat trick of submissions into the daddy's box

I don't think he should be doing four at a time why? and he's just photographed batteries in a box he's circled

with different colour fonts right so he's picking out Ace, Norma, PC and Great Value. Funny as fuck, Michael Singer

Squire. Michael, you are not, I think, if we're allowing the Sanri organisation to bring in promotional batteries in the battery

daddy, you just can't walk past a semi-translucent plastic tupperware box with a load of batteries in it destined for the tip or the river.

And you can't just half-arsedly just take a picture of that and just circle the ones you want entering into the battery, Danny. No, I haven't. An atrocious bit of work.

No, Michael. Michael Singer Squire. Get fucked. Get fucked, Michael. Sorry to you, Chris. Yeah. Congratulations to you, Andrew. Yeah.

No comment to you, Michael. No. We're moving on. What a shame. What a shame. Just get them sent in. Hello at LukeandPete.com. sorry to you Chris congratulations to you Andrew yeah no comment to you Michael no we're moving on what a shame what a shame get them sent in hello at lukeandpeter.com Peter

as I mentioned before the break it was your birthday recently it was yes you didn't mention anything about it you didn't get any greetings on the WhatsApp group or anything like that

because no one knew about it right as is your want what did you get up to and how did you celebrate well we were away how did I celebrate well we were aware um how did i celebrate i did a lot i did a lot of sleeping to be honest uh i read um sarah bought

me a um a big box of licorice nice she knows the way to your heart uh well she knows the way to my in us um because it that was the rest of the week really just me licorice and farting yeah does it give you the windy pops is it licorice licorice and farting. Does it give you the windy pops? Is it licorice? Licorice, massively. I've never eaten it. It's good for digestion and getting that all moving again. What were you eating?

The little torpedoes? There was a selection box, torpedoes. They look like suppositories for a start. Pontefract cakes. Pontefract cakes. What are the little, the little wiggly, wiggly winders? That's not the name of them. Wiggly winders.

There was this weird kind of like sort of grey brown tubes that I quite enjoyed and I ate the whole selection box and it was a delicious time

I've had by all. And then I came home to more sweets at someone's. Do you like the savoury liquorice? Yeah. Salt.

Lacris. And do you like chloride? And do you youice? Yeah. Salt. Lacrisse. Sodium chloride. And you are someone who eats sweets like it's food, don't you? Yeah. And also I've started drinking Monster Energy. Yeah, you were saying about this. Why do you make such poor decisions about your consumption?

Yeah, I had the first kind of big sort of heart palpitations. Oh, good. The thing is, like 15 years ago, this is where we met. This is probably like a joke and now this is like reality. Yeah, yeah,

it was. It was a big one. I was like, fuck, let's just drink water. I had them like last year, didn't I? I got all checked out

and it was fine. But yeah, just sometimes my heart goes, boom, boom, boom. But it was just a long one. Describe it. I'm just sat there, minding my own business.

I don't know, probably looking on YouTube or something. Yeah. And then, you are a mortal being. Think about that for the next three hours.

How long for? About two seconds. Oh, that's not that much. No, it's fine. It's fine. Is it fine? People get them. Have you got a smartwatch

where you can monitor this stuff? No. But I think you were saying last time a lot of people because of smartwatches people are getting more interested in their heart health which is good.

It just gives you information that you wouldn't have had before. Less information for me. Please. Yeah, that's what the Wi-Fi I have access to says. She's of that opinion as well. I think there's also

a huge epidemic on the way for heart problems with people because of the prevalence of cocaine use now yeah true so prevalent that people and the old

heroin no what they're called covid injections oh I don't think you can say that can you I don't think there's any evidence

to support that is there I think you can say that people say a lot of stuff don't they I'm obviously being facetious I'm not saying that you can't say it legally. I'm just saying. I'm just parodying those idiots who say it.

Sometimes it's difficult to tell. There is a woman on my Facebook that is, I can't remember where they were picked up from, but there is a member of the Football Ramble who is a mutual friend, or a mutual friend on Facebook, so I don't know how close their relationship goes, but my goodness, she is anti the old injections.

Right. Wow. And you're friends with them on Facebook? Yeah. I think I must have added them because they were friends with that person who was on the Ramble. And whoa, they are prevalent, like just constant, even now just constantly talking about COVID injections

but what I don't get about it very pro-Israel as well a lot of people talk about it that ship's sailed now isn't it move on move on baby let's draw a line baby that's 2020

it's 2020 yeah probably 2021 by that point yeah good point but it is constant and I do but I do find myself hunting out the posts

because I'm like this is what she got for us today it's compelling it is compelling isn't it I think I'm also being facetious of course

but I think sometimes I just think the old conspiracy guys are a bit lazy can't do good stuff yeah they just they just kind of like they

it's like it's like a range rover isn't it when people have got a couple of coins kicking around it's like it's like a Range Rover isn't it when people have got a couple of coins kicking around it's the thing they get innit

and everyone's got one and they're all the same and they all look the same and smell the same and do the same things guess what mate import a shit car do you know what

I'd love to happen I'd love to happen that all these types who are railing against the vaccine and you know who knows what's going to come out are they railing or are vaccine, who knows what's going to come out.

Are they railing or are they just expressing their displeasure with the government by doing this, I suppose, aren't they? But I would love it if what actually turned out to be causing all these problems was just CBD. Because that's all they sell. Or just stress about thinking about conspiracy theories. That can't be good for your heart if you're

angry all the time, surely. Well, you would know. Some of about conspiracy theories. That can't be good for your heart if you're angry all the time, surely. Some of the conspiracy, well, you would know. Some of the conspiracy theories, they're either really dull, they're just so outlandish that you have to basically sacrifice your whole family

and sever ties with them to be able to plough that far. You can't actually live that life. Because sometimes people will jump onto social media and go, well, you won't believe how many family members this truth has cost me. It's like, yeah, you're missing the point. You're learning the wrong lessons here.

You're not the truth seeker and your family members can't. They're just bored of your shit. They're bored of you talking about it. If you spend all your time, including Christmas, quote unquote, doing your own research, don't be surprised if people think you're a boring cunt. That's how it goes.

You're the kind of offline example of those men, always men, who go and test. You said it was a woman a second ago on Facebook. No, no, these people who go and test policemen by sticking a camera in their face and start going, I know my the Magna Carta people. Lawrence Fox did it, didn't he? Did he? Right. Okay. Lawrence Fox just tried to go out of his

way to get arrested so he could use it as a martyring. And obviously the police force in question, defending him, I don't actually know what happened, but in the video I saw, the police service or unit in question had obviously been briefed whatever he does don't arrest him

don't arrest him just let him flail around like a moron and he was poking the police officer pushing him all sorts and the police officer

was just like stand back please sir they played it completely straight and the video just obviously had to end yeah because he was getting nothing out of him but he was like

proper Magna Cartering like you know you are policing by consent under this jurisdiction. Oh, God, I love it. The thing about Fox... I love it. The thing about Fox is

it comes from a really privileged family. Clearly very comfortable. It does make me wonder, the kind of human interest level of it makes me wonder, what's made this happen? Like, it's some kind of

midlife breakdown, isn't it? No, it's just the kind of like quite toxic trait of men, most men, all men, who just instead of backing down

and sort of going, you know, every day is a school day, all right, fine, just really going back to the darker reaches of their soul

and going, no! You're wrong, not me! Yeah, it's your household, isn't it? It's my household,

yeah, yeah, yeah. But I, you know that lad who successfully defended his position on Lawrence Fox

on Twitter and it was settled out of court. Certainly, there was no case to answer because they, I think Lawrence Fox had to pay his costs. Right.

I don't know that specific case, but I can imagine, yeah. Well, he's, he's kind of, he's on socials, Mukhtar I can imagine yeah well he's he's kind of he's on socials Mukhtar I think his name is and he's on socials and he's obviously

he obviously won this he didn't win this case there was no case but I think it was settled it was settled it was also it's in no one's interest to go to court

exactly and all he's doing now is just bringing it up every morning is he allowed to well I think you can up to a point, but there has to be a point where you sort of go,

you know what, mate? This might enter the sphere of harassment after a while. You know what I mean? I thought the one with Fox was still going on. Mm. I thought he was like, he had called out some people. The one I'm talking about is Mukhtar called him a racist on socials. Lawrence Fox, as he usually does, goes in his DMs and basically says,

I hope you're ready for a court case if you don't take this down and say sorry. And he's like, no, I'm standing by my position quite rightly. And they settle our court. And Fox said things about how much money he wasn't going to be paying. Mukhtar said, well actually this is what the court said. It was a real victory for the normal man. But now Mukhtar keeps talking about it on Twitter

and I'm like, surely you've got to keep talking. You've got to stop at some point. Because you are just harassing. I happened across an amazing, absolutely amazing passage from Lawrence Fox recently. So because I'm so fascinated by his tragedy, it's basically a tragedy,

a Shakespearean tragedy, although Shakespearean probably gives him too much credit, and he'd like that. And hair proximity. But he has this show called Fox and Father on X. Oh, is it on X then? That weird kind of not really a father. Father Calvin Robinson.

Yeah, yeah. It's brilliant because what they do is they sit there on X oh that weird is it on X then that weird kind of not really a father Father Calvin Robinson yeah yeah and they it's brilliant because what they do is they sit there and they see all the low hanging fruit they smoke cigars and they talk about

all that kind of shit right but it's clearly because they're not very disciplined broadcasters says he they sit there

for an hour and it's quite nicely put together but it's not planned and they push each other right to go further and further because that's what they sit there for an hour. Yeah. And it's quite nicely put together, but it's not planned. Right. And they push each other, right, to go further and further because that's what this is all about, this grief, right?

And at one point, Lawrence Fox just has a big fucking puff on his cigar and he goes, you know what, I'll bring back. And Father Calvin Robertson goes, what's that? He goes, corporal punishment for kids, right?

Right. And they're like, okay, yeah, fine, fine, fine. And the conversation carries on. And this, is obviously Father Calvin Robinson takes the bait yeah good idea yeah bloody right

yeah it's in the bible whatever talking shit and then and then he flips it on Lawrence Fox who's just done a few minutes talking about how it would

cure all society's ills yeah you know give the kids the slipper slap them around whatever nonsense stuff basically not even underpinned

by the most vaguest of science complete bollocks and he's not qualified to make that assessment anyway Father Calvin Robertson makes the critical error

of saying to Lawrence Fox do you ever hit your kids right but this is going out isn't it yeah he can't dodge that he says

oh I did it once and I just didn't have the stomach for it it wasn't for me well hang on a minute mate you're saying I thought you were the red blooded alpha He says, I did it once and I just didn't have the stomach for it. It wasn't for me. Well, hang on a minute, mate. You're saying you can accuse the Red Blood Alpha? Yeah, what's going on?

They cannot even keep to message discipline across minutes, let alone months and years. Because it's a track, isn't it? And it's much more convenient to say that the regime don't like it, that actually no one's going to vote for me for London Mirror anyway because I'm a fucking cunt. more convenient to say that the regime don't like it, then actually, no one's going to vote for me for London Mirror anyway, because I'm a fucking cunt.

No one cares. No, I'm not popular. I just think I am, et cetera, et cetera. Anyway, that's enough of that.

I don't want to talk about it too much because I look a bit like him and I'm conscious of that. It's just the hair. Self-conscious of it. It's just the hair, isn't it?

Lovely curly blonde hair. Thank you very much. I've actually got more hair than him. Yeah. I think he might be older than me. Let's get out of here. We'll come back after the weekend

on Monday and there'll be no more Lawrence Fox chat. I promise. Unless you're turned physically into a mouse. Yeah. Because I think you

crossed with a mouse would look a bit like Lawrence Fox. He's got quite a drawn kind of mousy features. A rat. A little ratty features. A little rat. Have a great weekend, guys.

Look after yourselves. If you want to get in touch we're on all the usual socials you can find us Luke and Pete show hello at Luke and Pete dot com is the email address enjoy

yourselves look after yourselves though and also look after each other and don't forget to check that damn prostate yep pop a couple of batteries up there if you want

undermining it well you can count how much if there's less room you can get fewer batteries we're raising undermining it well you can count how much if there's less room you can get fewer batteries we're raising money for prostate cancer you can't ramble put four up there

in your twenties if by the time you get to twenty nine you can't fit the four up there you know for a fact that something's going on

something's grown up there alright we'll only have CBD gummies left in the pool our brand safety is done. The Luke and Pete Show is a Stack production and part of the ACAST Creator Network.