The Luke and Pete Show - Strip your bed, you disgusting human

Episode Date: September 2, 2021

It's the great debate of our time: what process do you go through when you check out of a hotel? Luke and Pete clash on the correct way to leave your room for the cleaners, before turning their attention to a typically diverse array of different topics including asthma and ill-advised ways to commemorate the life of the great Martin Luther King.Elsewhere, there's some fresh batteries to look at, as yet more listeners step up and try to find a new player to enter the game, and we get through a couple of your emails too. Put your feet up in front of your podcast player and have a good [e-mail] to check in with us and let us know how you're doing. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the Luke and Pete Show It's a Thursday As discussed before Batteries Boys Velvet Being Exploding

Off a Deer's antlers All that kind of stuff Here on the Luke and Pete Show And yeah Once again we're back Doing what we do best Well I mean it's our best isn't it Probably not the listeners Kind of thing to choose from here on the Luke and Pete show. And yeah, once again, we're back doing what we do best.

Well, I mean, it's our best, isn't it? Probably not the listeners kind of thing to choose from. It's sometimes my best. It's sometimes your best. It's the best I can muster on any particular day. Peter, on Monday, we talked about lots of interesting things, including a cycle trip going awry. We talked about your constipation. We talked about old living animals.

We talked about, what else did we mention? Oh, we mentioned a bit about car parking and ice skating and all sorts of different stuff. constipation we talked about old living animals we talked about what else did we mention oh we mentioned a bit about car parking and ice skating and all sorts of fancy tori stronghold that i visited over the weekend yeah taking them down from the inside as usual yeah one thing i wanted to talk about today though is something that you suggested um about and it's a story that kind of obviously went viral because you know people were trying to generate controversy around it's a story that kind of obviously went viral because people were trying to generate controversy around it in a really superficial way. But it was about the behavior upon checking out of a hotel room. Yes.

And what is the most appropriate thing to do when you're leaving your hotel room for the final time before you check out. Now, the reason it's fascinating to me is because I never once ever considered this Beyond the idea that because I'm hopefully a fairly decently brought up human being, I won't leave the place in the right shit state. I'll take all my stuff away. I'll tidy up. I'm not going to leave things behind. I'll put whatever needs to be put in the bin in the bin, et cetera, et cetera. But this guy caused this controversy, the guy who kind of went viral online.

Do people still say viral now? Yeah, I guess so. Okay, so still... We haven't found a better term for it, have we? Fine. Got a lot of attention online because he took a photo of his hotel room upon checking out and he had stripped the bed. Yes.

And left it in nice piles at the bottom of the bed. And I thought, okay, that's fairly interesting when you talk about that. But what you actually said, Pete, was you always do that and you didn't know if you were the only person that did or whether it was just you being weirdly neurotic as usual. But I don't know if it's necessary. So what is your thinking behind it? There will be people in my life who have been in a hotel room with me. You know, Mil.

Contextually. Contextually. I'm not hiding the cupboard or anything. And I've not stripped their bed, but I do occasionally do this, and I certainly do this if my Airbnb rating is at stake. Strip the bed. If you are leaving and you've got five minutes, strip the bed, take the duvet, cover off the duvet.

I mean, these are all things that are just a pain in the arse for people to do. And in the Sun piece, you know, I've never done this. It's never occurred to me to strip the bed for them. Another adding, they literally pay people to do that, though. It's like, that is what's wrong with modern Britain. They literally pay people. Do you remember the other time people used to say that?

Throw a letter on the ground? No, about not tidying your McDonald's tray away. Right, they pay people to do that. So I just fucking put it, it's over there, next to the bin. Yeah, on the way out. Just empty it. It's annoying, isn't it? I just think it's good, I think it's good breeding.

No, I think you're probably right. And it caused me to think a little bit about things, because I normally stay in B&Bs, as you know, and I don't really stay in hotels that often. But I think it's interesting, because I think the way that people behave in hotels generally can tell you a lot about them. Right. So, for example, I've got a friend of mine, I've told you before,

he does a lot of traveling for work. And sometimes he'll be, say, in, let's say, South Korea for about two weeks. And he'll be staying in a hotel for work. And the first thing he does when he gets there is put the do not disturb on and he never wants anyone interrupting. He doesn't want people changing their sheets

at any point, doesn't want people tidying up, he just wants to be able to stay there and have privacy whereas I hardly ever do that. I'm happy for people

to come in and change my bed sheets, turn the bed down. I think I see that as kind of part of the service but I think the whole secretive aspect of that, I'm not surprised

that you do that as well. I just don't want people in my shit. But I think the whole secretive aspect of that, I'm not surprised that you do that as well. I just don't want people in my shit. Like, I'll keep it as tidy as I want it to. I mean, I'd live in a shit pit for five days, but it's like,

I'd just rather not... What's your cut off, though? I just want to know that when I go back to the room, someone's not going to be in there. I'm going to have an awkward conversation.

I will do anything to avoid awkwardness and make it very awkward. You're out most of the time, though. They know when you're out. Yeah. No, but like,

sometimes I'll come back and there'll be someone just dicking about. I'll go, do you want your turndown service? Like, what even is that? Yeah.

I'm just going to get into bed. Yeah. It's just weird. What about if you were like Nucky Thompson having your own sweet at the wrist all the time?

True. Imagine how much of a shitship your place would be. I think with... Would you like a valet like Eddie in Bulwark Empire? Would you like your own valet? Is Eddie the Irish bloke? Imagine how much of a shit sip your place would be. I think with... Would you like a valet like Eddie in Bulbulk Empire? Would you like your own

valet? Is Eddie the Irish bloke? No, he's a German fella. Right, yes, of course. So back in the day, I'm not saying this is wrong, it's just more, it's obviously probably wrong.

But as a conversational topic, so for example, if you read the Woodhouse like Jeeves and Worcester books, obviously the whole point of bertie wuster is he's an idiot but he's got this full-time valet jeeves he's brilliant yeah and that was like a in in that kind of period whatever it is victorian edwardian whatever um georgian maybe i'm not i'm not sure they well-to-do gentleman would have a personal valet

yeah but do all this shit for them yeah that's do you fancy a bit of that or do you think it's a bit weird well i you i i want to do everything i want to do all the admin in my life badly poorly badly thought out uh and just fuck it to to hand over control to someone else i just don't think i'd like it to be honest because people would kind of they'd mess it up for me but i can't do it But I can't imagine anything that would make you feel more awkward than living in a house where there's people who

actually work there as well. Yeah, no, I would hate it. I know once you get past a certain level you have your cleaners, never had a cleaner,

you have your chefs, you have your people who look after the grounds and stuff. You have to because the house is massive and you just spend all your time

tending to the house. So if you became really successful and got a massive house, you would stubbornly just clean it all yourself. Like of those like the falford family who had that ancestral seat out in the middle of nowhere right and it was just dog

shit everywhere because no one cleaned it because i had no money and they were all completely like right i don't know they were just all a little bit kind of eccentric yeah you would definitely be an eccentric where you wouldn't have anyone cleaning anything it'd be an absolute shit your garden would be overgrown well isn't it called rewilding these days? It's handy. It's handy for you, isn't it? I'm rewilding the living room. A lot of councillors,

people are complaining at the councillors, they're saying they're rewilding. I think I was reading, I requested a newspaper I found palatable at the posh hotel. Oh, so you're requesting newspapers now, are you? They sent me a Times. Probably the most left-wing paper they had you you are now suddenly a man who's requesting newspapers he said do you want a newspaper i said i'll have a newspaper cool i'll have something to

read but they did that goes against everything i think of you if you if someone said to you you're getting a newspaper you would say i'll get it myself and you would walk three miles and they had a piece about uh in Brighton and Hove, obviously a more left-leaning governmental seat, and a lot of the plans are to rewild a lot of the public spaces, but really it just means there's a load of grass growing through the floor, so disabled people trip up. Some people would call Brighton an oasis in the political landscape of East Sussex.

Not the times. Probably not. So did they do that thing at that hotel where you leave your shoes out of trip up. Some people would call Broughton an oasis in the political landscape of East Sussex. Not the times. Probably not. So did they do that thing at that hotel where you leave your shoes out and they'll shine them for you? Do you know that as well? I reckon you could probably

get away with that kind of caper. Not a lot of people know that. A lot of really, really posh hotels, if you leave your shoes outside, they will just shine them for you. I could do it.

I've only got one pair of shoes at the moment. I think a lot of places leave them, they ask you to leave them in a bag. Right, okay. Now, all that stuff, all that kind of like,

can you wash this sort of business nonsense. As I said, because they also have laundry bags, you put your clothes in the laundry bag and they do it for you as well. As I said last week, I thought that the hotel you were staying in looked really nice

and I thought, do you know what, I wouldn't mind a bit of that, a little breakaway for a weekend. The prices were obscene, Peter. The prices of the actual rooms aren't as bad as all of the stuff that comes on top of it. It's all the extra stuff.

Oh, they're sneaking little fees in with them. They're sneaking little fees here and there. A National Trust donation. £10 delivery fee for a hot chocolate. Outrageous. And speaking of the old thing I was talking about, the hotel where you don't want anyone to come in and you do a do not disturb for two weeks, I've also read and heard that at most hotels, and you do a do not disturb for two weeks i've also read and heard that at

most hotels if you do that i think it goes over a certain threshold of time they won't let you check out until they've checked the room so again if you want so if you so basically if you are a do not disturb guy yes every day for say two weeks oh that will flag with them that you're a bad boy for life they just won't know what's happening yes and they won't let you check out until they've checked it because you could have a dead body in the bath that's what but that's what the fee at the start when you put your credit card in it's like 200 quid or something um that that's what they take you know in case you charge anything in the room or you fuck it up 1200 quid was the charge on that fucking bloody hell i don't have that in my account i stayed

off i stayed in a a holiday cottage a while back with some friends for a birthday thing and I paid for the cottage and people paid me back. And in the terms of the agreement, it said we will take a £200 holding deposit

for any damage. And I was thinking, I get that, but if you're going to do that, I mean, I'm not trying to be gauche about it, but £200 isn't that much money. No, not for a damage. If someone breaks the TV, trying to be gauche about it but £200 isn't that much money no not for a

damage if someone breaks the TV you ain't getting another TV for £200 you're not getting a new oven

for £200 but it says in the terms it's £200 take your pound of flesh mate do you reckon that must just

be to put people off what doing a damage I don't know even a little hole if you've got

an independent builder in these days an independent builder throw your hands up at me I don't know, like even a little hole. If you've got an independent builder in these days, because, you know... An independent builder? An independent builder. Throw your hands up at me. Yeah, it's weird.

Also, one of the good things about staying at a holiday cottage like that is that it's always... They're kind of always on, right? So they leave the key in a combination lock box. Yes. So they just give you the code, and they change the code every time. It's quite a good way of doing it.

But what happens is, they don't come in that often other than just to clean. And then they leave everything in the fridge. So the people who stayed in there before, they just leave stuff in. Stuffed milk. So when we turned up, there was quite a few beers in there. Yeah, nice. Yeah, great little touch.

Before we head to a break, Luke, have you seen what's been happening in Fortnite this week? No, so my Battle royale genre game experience obviously extends to up to and including um pub g but no further it's very much parachuting into a eastern ukrainian wasteland uh you know what's the difference between fortnight and pub g though a lot more colorful and you can build stuff oh so you can build your own little fortress or something it started it started in a it started in like it used to be like a buildy run around

shooty game then it turned into a battle royale and then it just took over the world because it's very colourful you can buy guns you know it's

massive money spinner for epic games Fortnite yeah what's that I think Dele Alli does oh is that Fortnite I think so yeah everything does

is Fortnite they're having a Martin Luther King experience in game I don't see how that's going to work to be honest. At least with PUBG

it's a Sun Heung Min or some kind of K-pop band. They've had they've had like an Ariana Grande concert. Fine.

Colourful. Childish. As in she actually performs in Fortnite? Yeah. She turns up as a graphical avatar representation of herself.

Is it her doing it? It's her. I presume she'll record something. Basically, it'll be a live, a virtual live concert. That's cool. Deadmau5, it's cool. It's really cool.

It's great. It looks fantastic. But the incongruity of a Martin Luther King experience this week on Fortnite has been incredible. Now, if you want to educate kids about martin luther king yeah uh black lives matter you know all that stuff that's obviously um incredibly important at the moment fortnight's an excellent way to do it you know there's a there are so many children there are so many young people on that game the only problem is

fortnight has become a little bit of a capitalist kind of wonderlands which means that you know you've got your normal characters but you've also got like movie tie-ins film tie-ins you can play as rick or morty from rick and morty you can play as the xenomorph from aliens right and so you go into a place where there are you know video clips of martin luther king um doing some of his famous speeches massive kind of like uh you know massive speeches clips of Martin Luther King doing some of his famous speeches. Massive kind of like, you know, massive speeches sort of printed out on the walls and stuff. And you walk around, it's like a big museum. They're doing it in conjunction with Time magazine, right?

It's a good idea. But the problem is the image you get is basically, you know, I've got some pictures at the bottom of the running room. You can just see Martin Luther King's speech written on a wall. I have a dream that my four little children, et cetera, et cetera. And then you've got the earlier just sat down in front of it. It's very, it just seems a little disrespectful. It just seems like they should have been a little bit more careful

about what characters are allowed at the time. You don't really allow a generic character because this needs to be approached with solemnity, the importance that this man had on the world. And what they've delivered is like a halfway house, effectively. Also, I mean, crucially, something you haven't mentioned, which I'm sure you're going to come on to, is that Martin Luther King was fatally shot.

Exactly. And Fortnite is about shooting people. And there's actually, it's a very big game. There's a lot of people working on it. And there's a lot of kind of facets and art assets to it, right? So you're not always going to get, something's always going to fall through the net. But with something like Martin Luther King experience with Time Magazine,

you kind of have to check everything because it looks bad. And the game is about shooting people. And I will say, one of the loading screens literally says, headshots do significant damage in for the head. It's not ideal, is it? Gleeding into movie clips of, you know, film clips of Martin Luther King.

I understand why they've done it. I think it's a good idea, but my God, the execution is lacking. Paul Schwartz was by you as well there. What did I say? Execution. And also, I thought you

were going to say you could play as James Earl Ray, which would be very inappropriate. Right. It couldn't have been worse if you could play as the guy who killed

him. But I do think that, and you've alluded to this, and I back you up on the idea that clearly the motivation for this, and I've just learnt about it from

you, but it's because they want young people to know about someone who's really important. And there's a Martin Luther King Day in the US, of this, and I've just learned about it from you. Pure. Well, it's because they want young people to know about someone who's really important. And there's a Martin Luther King Day in the US, of course, and it's kind of interesting, is probably the generous way of putting it, when every single person in the US of whatever political stripe tries to jump on Martin Luther King on Martin Luther King Day, right? So no matter what people's political views are,

and some would say a lot of politicians in in the u.s's political views are essentially inherently racist they're inherently racist positions but martin luther king is so above any kind of criticism you know that that people rather than to no one no matter what their political stripe in the u.s would be would ever say oh i never rated martin luther king would be able to say that they have to twist their own kind of narrative and their own kind of position

in such a way that it fitted in with what Martin Luther King said it just gives Malcolm X a couple of kicks as well so he's so massive

that they have to kind of do that but at the same time clearly there's a motivation here to want to educate young people about

something so important and I think that that's a really interesting thing because clearly a lot of decision makers who may be our age and older don't really know how to speak to young people anymore. No. So they'll say, you can imagine Pete, can't you?

The amount of boardroom meetings where it's like, well, can't we just do something on Snapchat? Yeah. Or can't we just get a TikTok? And no one knows what it actually means. Yeah. So it's kind of fascinating how it tends to manifest itself in these kind of ill-advised ways. Why don't we have Martin Luther kick cut? Why don't we just get a TikTok? And no one knows what it actually means. So it's kind of fascinating how it tends to manifest itself

in these kind of ill-advised ways. Why don't we have Martin Luther King? Why don't we do, right? Sword fight with Hitler again? A life in the day. A day in the life of Martin Luther King on Snapchat. And he could be filming himself, sort of telling him about a day.

Maybe he's writing his big speech. No, they wouldn't watch it, would they? What? They wouldn't watch it. On Snapchat. But that doesn't mean anything. No one's playing this either, mate. You're not one of those people. No one's either playing this. I think a lot of people are playing Fortnite. They're not going in that room, it, would they? What? They wouldn't watch it. On Snapchat. But that doesn't mean anything. No one's playing this either, mate. You're not one of those people.

No one's either playing this. I think a lot of people are playing Fortnite. They're not going in that room, though, are they? It's a choice. You don't get forced into it, I presume. In PUBG, it's a random map. I'm in Martin Luther King World. Oh, no.

Yeah. I've got a history lesson. The kids are going to be fuming, mate. Yeah, I feel like it's disrespectful to shoot anyone. Exactly. Even though that's the main point of the game. Look, it's disrespectful to shoot anyone exactly even though that's the main point of the game yeah it's just look it's just a little bit incongruent it made me go because it because i when in people's intentions are pure people intentions are uh you know it needed to be

done in a certain way uh but seeing hard drinking uh psychopath sociopath rick from rick and morty holding a placard saying dream it was a little bit I didn't think I'd see it coming I didn't see it coming and I'm surprised at how it was executed it's perfect Luke and Pete

show stuff it is it's a great way to end the first half of this Thursday show we should do that now when we come back we're going to do

some battery brands and some of your emails so stick around it's transfer deadline day Ashwood City are drifting under manager Sven-Joran Eriksson And chief executive Patrick Nolan is willing to do whatever it takes to turn things round Look, it's just for a season or two, you know We get them really cheap, you know

10% of what they're worth in some cases And, I mean, the sponsors it would attract as well as the cashier Patrick Nolan, MBE, stop talking This is a fucking Tevez and Mascherano player heist, pal. In the award-winning football mockumentary The Offensive, the thick of it meets the Premier League and things are about to reach breaking point in the boardroom. That's the rules, Woody.

Oh, so now we like the rules, do we? Woody, you can't just move a piece and make up how to play. Oh, you don't get to tell me what I can and can't do. No, move that back. Fucking get off. Don't touch my pieces. You're cheating. That's an invasion of my pieces. Stop fingering my bishop. You don't know what he's doing.

Start your Ashwood City journey and listen to The Offensive wherever you get your podcasts. The Offensive is a Stack Production. I'll get that link in before the break because I'm really near to burp. Yeah, you sounded like... The Offensive is a Stack Production. Here's a Luke and Pete show. Welcome back to Thursday's second half. We always start the second half here with some battery brands. We ask our listeners to find unique battery brands wherever they may be. Some people succeed.

Some people don't. The upshot is what a tangled web we've weaved as a race and species and whatever you want to call it. But the sheer amount of battery brands we've invented as a species. Joel Bell, you're up. He sent some Frigo batteries in. F-R-E-E-G-O-P. Can you do a search? Because I'm not sure that's true.

Frigo? No. Oliver Cleverley John came in in 2018 with some Frigos, heavy duty, when he had a story about a man sticking his head in a particle accelerator. And Gary Stringer, mere four months later, came in with a story about taking back Sunday Singer, knocking out a bassist, or his bassist, with a microphone.

He swings his microphone like old Billy or that guy. And yeah, he bought some scales off the internet. And they came with Free Go goal battery so not a new player Gary Stringer and Oliver has that one or rather Oliver does unlucky Joel good effort though

unlucky man Matt Tiena you're wasting our time with some large and some gritty get out neither are new players they're some of the

oldest players we know of fool and finally more interestingly I think so get your search fingers ready Unky Ben has been in touch with some super long lives. Now long lives is spelled

L-O-N-L-I-F-E-S. Super long lives. Can we do a search? Yeah, I would like you to because I'm not entirely sure. There's a chance they might be new players. I've certainly not seen him

in the wild. Mate, there's... May 17th. They're all this year. May 17th, George Quinlan and then Kevin Brady came in and

yeah he's yeah he's got some burst doors and some long lives so unfortunately Unky Ben

you are not a new player either never mind Unky we've drawn three blanks this week Joel, Matt and Unky Ben unfortunately you've not made it do try again though

and we do welcome any battery submission um to see if they're new players okay emails peter hello at luke and pete show.com is the email address to get in touch i've got an email here from harry that i really want to read to you um and it goes like this this is hi luke and hi pete you will not believe my shock when in a recent episode an email regarding richard parker was read out i think it was when you're on with mark or chris or alex but i can't remember i was on the show um and um harry says i'd never read heard this story until about five years ago on a date with

my now partner on the first date with her a few years ago making some awkward small talk we start talking about crazy things that have happened in our families she decided that telling me in depth how a great great great uncle ate a young boy while starving at sea and they named the boy in life of pie after him i'm not really sure what kind of reaction she was expecting but now looking back it seems to have been quite an odd story to say on the first date although apparently harry and her are still together so it worked out for the best in the end so the richard parker story you guys talked about kind of chat tangentially a descendant of that person has probably heard some of our show at some point yeah that's that's quite big isn't it yeah i think it's quite a big deal what's your

what's your position i can't quite remember if you covered this specifically at the time and it was a while ago now anyway what's your specific position re-stranded at sea eating other people we should be able to eat all children fuck you now eat the rich hit the young what would you do um no i think i i think in the story didn't the hadn't the child sadly although i don't even think it was um said as a child even no it's like a young i think it was a cabin boy a young a young maybe a teenager or something he'd had enough he just sort of like he'd gone I think he'd gone right well look he's gone if just go ahead if it's in the deli section

get involved I want you to tell me how you would convince me to join you well you wouldn't there wouldn't be any left mate I'd be sat with a big fat belly going

yeah why put your lips on me just go there's really food about what because apparently the kid read I think he drank seawater

yes so he couldn't resist it the thing is though they talk about you know water water everywhere not a drink the old rhyme

of the ancient mariner I bet even though very salty but if you are that thirsty and you start fucking just drinking

all the water there's a little bit of the sensation must be it's awful drinking salt water if you're really thirsty the sensation of actually drinking water even sensation must be. No, because you, it's awful drinking salt water. I don't, if you're really thirsty though,

the sensation of actually drinking water, even though it's very salty, I think you'd be like, oh, it's so delicious for a bit and then you die. Who do you think's been the thirstiest in their life out of you and me?

Uh, probably me, because I'm, I never drink water. True. How, what's the thirstiest you've ever been? I mean,

why would I even remember that? Have you ever done the thirstiest thing where you go, you start shaking a bit no no why when were you experiencing that if you've ever done a thing where you've suddenly just comes over you really quickly it's fucking hell i'm really thirsty no really i just i just never get that i'm just i get all my water from sausages internal internal you've got an internal supply yeah um speaking of speaking of the rhyme

of the ancient mariner do you know I think that a lot of people think that the word rhyme means as in the rhyme to rhyme something oh does it not right

it doesn't mean that right okay rhyme in rhyme of the ancient mariner is spelled r-i-m-e yeah which is the word for a kind of

frost on your on the surface right okay so the point of the rhyme of the ancient mariner is that he's so like weather beating the stuff he's actually frosty yeah stay frosty it's not about him rhyming or it's not about the rhyme as in the nursery rhyme of the ancient mariner it's about that kind of rhymey frost on him well my fucking hip-hop stage show is fucked isn't it yeah you've got to go out the drawing board board then mate. Unless it's a particularly cold day and you'll be fine.

You're saying, so people have a moral dilemma about this and I think it's probably as a lot of this stuff is bound up in religion I would say. They say that human life particularly is sacred or they won't think twice necessarily. Although some religions obviously do. They won't think twice about eating other kinds of meat.

But is it not an extension of the debate around, you know, I mean, certain animals seem to be fine and certain animals don't seem to be fine to eat. So I will eat chicken or beef or pork or whatever without thinking about it. But if you served up to me a horse, it's probably getting in my head a bit. Yeah, it's weird, isn't it?

Yeah, it's all very strange. Also, why don't we have horse milk? No one eats horse milk in the UK. I think... Or drinks it, sorry. Well, I think it's the isn't it yeah it's all very strange I mean also why don't we have horse milk no one eats horse milk in the UK I think or drinks it sorry well I think it's the patriarchy

we're very scared of horses penises and their potency you could say something about a donkey I suppose you don't drink donkey milk either I just don't think

we want anything coming out of a horse because we're just like because men are scared of horse dicks so do you reckon that's the link I think it is yeah

I think it's like I think because okay let's go because the world because the world is run by men we're just like oh horses dicks are

massive though aren't they I'm scared but the French and places in Eastern Europe will eat horse salami no problem they will

horse salami that's what they call it and so that horse meat's fine I've eaten horse and Japan's quite big in horse is it really

delicious so you think in the UK we don't eat horses because they're the size of their penis yeah and the other animals we do eat

are fine yeah we don't eat cats and they've got little small penises I've not really do they have penises yeah little lipstick penises

but the men do the men the male ones it's like a little lipstick it's like a little tiny lipstick that pops out sometimes right okay yeah I understand

yeah no I mean yeah but you see cat milk in the in the in supermarkets for other cats yeah

it's not actually cat milk though is it it's just fucking is it oats or something what is cat milk I'm not really sure with sugar in it I've always been told

that the only thing they should be drinking is water the only thing they should be drinking is water you said that about they should be drinking is water? You said that about me, mate. Well, that's true.

Here's a question for you, Donny. You won't have the answer to it. Maybe some of our listeners would. Here's what I find fascinating about something. A sheep gives birth to a lamb, right? Right. A lamb, after about 15 minutes, can walk and totter about and do its thing, right? That lamb, in the wild, would go from being a lamb to a big old sheep

and all it'll ever eat is grass. How does it get all the nutrients it needs to grow to that size just with grass? What do you mean? I mean, I guess the body's designed to process more. Because grass can only have certain nutrients in it. So if you took a human being and said, you're only going to eat grass or whatever it is, anything, breadsticks, I don't know,

you're not going to grow to a healthy adult, but a sheep would always grow to a proper size sheep just by eating grass. But surely grass has got everything in it. But how can it have? In the same way that breadsticks have got everything in it but just very trace amounts

you know what I mean? That's not enough. Well yeah because you'll be an ill person but like yeah there will be certain aspects to it. So sheep aren't doing much it doesn't matter.

I'm just thinking that grass has got enough and the same with the vegetarians are fine with just eating veggies. No but they don't just eat one vegetable do they?

They eat lots of different types of stuff. But they're all pretty much the same thing aren't they? Bit of iron, bit of potassium, bit of this, bit of that.

I think you're overestimating grass. There's no way you're getting all the nutrients you need from grass. I want someone who's listened to

this show, qualified to tell me. Every fucking animal eats grass. Cows, what do they eat? Cow grass. Yeah.

That's how we make cows, they're big fuckers, aren't they? Same question. They've got everything. Same question. Grass is very powerful.

Do you remember that video of the cow with a little hole in its side? Oh, what, you could Same question. They've got everything. Same question. Grass is very powerful. Do you remember that video of the cow with a little hole in its side? Oh, what? You could look into it. Yeah, it's weird, that. What was that about now? It was in one of its stomachs, wasn't it?

It was like a little kind of screw, like a Pringle jar, so you could just open up and peek into a... Cow's stomach? Yeah. That's very odd. What was that about?

Why was he doing that? I think it's just a reminder of their diet or something, I think. It must have been like a scientist's cow rather than... You know, a farmer doesn't do that

lightly. What, it's not really... I'm a scientist's cow. She's got a monocle. There's a stethoscope around this big fat cow neck. I forgot about that.

That was absolutely rank, that, wasn't it? Yeah, it was. Just looking at a big stinky cow's stomach so what we were talking about

basically is that in that survival situation you're team human I'm team human you're eating human what would you go for first

calves I think calf or thighs or forearm has got a common selection I think yeah yeah do you know what i'll go for first

what brain bum brain you know why because fuck him that's what anyway anyway anyway anyway let's get out of here peter that's enough for one week we'll be back next week on monday with this usual nonsense you are welcome of course you've got a story about a failed cycle ride like we heard on Monday or some kind of connection to a now sadly long dead person we talked about

on the show or anything else perhaps you want to see Linda Lussardi fighting someone else actually fucking hell we should have called her Linda Lussardi

yes we completely missed that didn't we Linda Lussardi the sword fight of anyone you let us know send your suggestions in and we'll discuss it

perhaps you want to know who Linda Lussardi the sword fight of anyone you let us know send your suggestions in and we'll discuss it perhaps you want to know who Linda Lussardi is yes give it a google enjoy it yourself hello at lukeandpeachshow.com is the email address we are at

lukeandpeachshow on the socials we don't really social much do we? I edited out some videos from two shows ago and then it just got the end of a very long line

I should have socialed I should have socialed. I should have socialed. We'll try and social more. We'll try and social. But if you guys social us, maybe it encourages us to get more involved. I can't possibly post a picture of the velvet explosion on a stag's head. It looks disgusting. It looks like something's gone wrong.

I think you should. At Luke and Pete Show is the social media address. All that's left for us to say now is we hope you have a lovely rest of the week and weekend don't be sad that summer's over be happy that autumn's here beautiful season autumn isn't it it is yes so look forward to that when the grass is jeweled in the silken side of chesnut shell the rhyme of the ancient mariner see you next time The Luke and Pete Show is a Stack production and part of the ACAST Creator Network.