The Luke and Pete Show - Sunburnt Nostrils

Episode Date: July 26, 2021

Hello and a very warm welcome to another episode of the Luke and Pete Show! Today, Pete is back from a trip to the races and a visit to the beautiful city of York, although he doesn't appear to have learnt a huge amount about it. The boys also find time to talk about ultramarathons, which is interesting as neither of them will ever find the time to actually do one, obviously. Elsewhere, there's temperature chat, dishwashers, microwaves, and plenty more besides, including your emails. To join in with this nonsense, hit us up: [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's Monday the 26th of July and I'm Pete Donaldson and I'm joined by Mr. Luke Moore. We're doing the Luke and Pete show. Just two lads having a little chat about this and that. How's your weekend been, Lukey? One of my favourite of your intros, that. It's been pretty good. The weather finally broke, didn't it? Oh, it needed it. Didn't it need it?

We needed it. The garden needed it, Peter. But yeah, so all good. Yeah, pretty good. Not much to complain about. Was that a friend's 40th birthday at the weekend? Which is kind of nice because it was the... I think it was probably the most normal birthday party i've been to since all this stuff started happening that's pretty happy right were you going

in for hugs and stuff because i've been to several uh um kind of my weekends are really filling up to be quite frank i don't think i've got a free one until october and it's worrying me it's i'm getting well i'm just saying that like we got excited about moving to a new house so my partner that i have access to has um basically just thrown invites all over the gaff so just there's people arriving all the time uh i was at a stag do over the weekend i also went to a wedding as well so just kind of in in the right order but very very squished together uh we had i had a stag do in York for Friday and Saturday and then went straight to Richmond Park for a wedding on the Sunday.

I've been to a wedding at Richmond Park. Absolutely lovely spot. What a beautiful spot. Yeah, so nice. What was the stag weekend like? It was... I've never been out drinking in York and everyone's very lovely.

We had a lovely old time. It seems that no one's really adhering to any kind of mask wearing at all in York. I don't know whether that's just unique to York or just people are just done with it. But I was trying my best. I was trying to be safe and sensible because we've all got responsibilities. We've all got loved ones. But yeah, went to the races. That was like one big fucking Petri dish.

The real winner was Tit Tape. A lot of very crazy dresses. It was crazy. I was like, where do people wear these clothes if not at the races? The men are all dressed like, you know like what I used to wear two years ago very bright very brash

top man clothes and the lasses are wearing just nothing and so the races is a really interesting place because it's one of the only places I can think of where you genuinely get

really posh people and really working class people all there for mostly the same reasons it's kind of weird it's a weird situation because honestly you can go i was at cheltenham races at cheltenham festival a few years ago and you can bump into people at cheltenham who you think i don't want to be sat next to them on the train home but you can also next to people who i can't understand what they're saying because they're so posh. You get everything, everything from one extreme to the other.

Very, very interesting. But did you back any winners? Well, the thing that confused me, yes, I did, Luke, actually. Look, people complain about the proliferation of betting in some of our podcasts, and to them I say, you've never won loads of money at the horses because that's what I did. Were you really cheering it on down the final furlong, were you?

Honestly, I was like, I just picked the funny names. I would pretend that I knew what I was doing because I used to work in a betting shop back in the day and obviously going back to a betting shop at this point and kind of putting bets on was very quaint. You get your little slip back with what you've written down. And it really took me back to being 18 or 19 and working in John Joyce in the northeast of England

in the betting shops. And yeah, I picked the silly names. And also I picked one called Bangkok, one called International Boy, I think. Just a Friday or a Saturday? This is for Saturday at York. Saturday at York. So I was backing a lot of each ways.

So from £50 in, I made £300. What's that about? Very good. That's wild, isn't it? Yeah, International Boy came second in the 350 at 15 to 2. Each way, baby. And you backed Bangkok as well? I backed Bangkok and it came in first. That romped in at 14 to 1? Each way, baby. And you backed Bangkok as well? I backed Bangkok

and it came in first. That romped in at 14 to 1, Donaldson. Absolute golden touch. Mindless, they call him. But the thing about it was that I was looking at, me and my friends were looking at what we thought were the odds,

but it turns out it was the weight of the horses. And I was like, that looks good. Put that on. That is excellent. Were you too embarrassed to claim your money?

No, no. I stomped it because I didn't know which, I couldn't remember what each way actually means because for a big field, you can get third places. There's places, yeah.

It just depends on the size of the field. Yeah, and I was just like, I don't know. I've forgotten all of that. I've forgotten what a Yankee was. I've forgotten what a Heinz is and stuff and just gave them the slips and went, could I use any money in that?

I love the idea of you going up to the tote at the side of the track and going, I'll have a tenner on International Boy at 11 Stone 8, please. That's fantastic. It turns out gambling's brilliant. I'm brilliant at it. And this is the start of a beautiful career

in which I lose my house. It's definitely a career for you. I think that's 100% true. And I also... One of the best things about if you go... I love going to the races. I'm not going to make any bones about it. I'm not going to be a hypocrite about it.

I enjoy going to the races and I enjoy having a bet on the horses when I go there. One of the most fun things about it, particularly these days, is because you never really have cash anymore, right? Getting some money out, going to the races, having a tenner on something, and getting the winnings back in cash.

Well, that's the thing. I'm in the past, I think. I used my Electron card. What's that one? They used to give you a solo card. Yeah. You couldn't go past your overdraft I put

I got you know put the bets on with the card but then they give you cash back which is very exciting because again you just don't have

cash anymore and the one thing I did sort of notice is that like like you know your Ascot's and your York's you know

going to the races people get really drunk there but I don't know how because they may have been putting these races on for 100 years, could not get a drink for a lot of money. I had to, at one point, just buy a bottle of the cheapest champagne and just sit there, like, just outside the little hut and just drink it by myself, glass by glass, just slamming it down.

I can see it now. I've had two winners today. Barman, fetch me a celebratory bottle of your cheapest champagne. Well, it was £40 for the cheapest champagne and £48 for the second cheapest, the rosé version of the same champagne. But they only had one bottle of champagne left

and it was the rosé. She gave me £8 off, so there you go. They said, Mr Donaldson, we closed some time ago. You really must be getting home now. I can give you one bottle of champagne for £40 if you fuck off now. But you had a nice time, though, yeah? It sounds like it was great fun. Good.

I mean, it's, you know, I've taken a year off partying and my body has not in any way kind of, my body's kind of left that life behind to a certain extent so i did find it very difficult to uh to make it to the wedding the evening after in richmond but um but again that was quite nice to be at a wedding yeah um i think the limit is 30 people so they limited to 30 people um and you got the nod who was it well i hadn't had the nod until last Friday. It basically just went, Pete, do you want to come to the wedding?

Because we didn't think that the restrictions were going to be lifted. We didn't think we were going to be able to get this amount of people in. So please come if you want to come. And so it's this Spanish girl and a lad from Manchester getting married. And it was really lovely. And when the first dance dance happened I may have had a heavy weekend I did get a bit teary I think the way they planned it was they went right we've got 30 people first in

Donaldson then our parents are going to have to come as well so that's five but you were right up there I think that a lot of people got pinged the week before maybe was it free? yeah it was free.

I felt quite guilty. Can I just ask what your, the races aside, because I've not been to York really. I've passed through it, but I've not really been there. What would be the kind of takeaways from the apparently beautiful city of York as per your experiences? I don't know why York Cathedral's highest point is so flat.

All of the other parts of York Cathedral have got big spires coming out of the top of them. But for some reason, the highest point on that cathedral is just very flat. You eat your dinner off it. I don't understand why it's so flat. I'm sure there's probably a reason. Maybe they run out of money. But I suggest we put little spires on top. After York winnings at the horses,

presumably you could fund their new building. Push it straight in the box, mate. Push it straight in the box. Yeah, transfer it straight. Listen, I've won this money on the horses. I'm transferring it straight to the house of God with the money lenders in the temple. It's what Jesus would have wanted.

Classic. Yeah, it was good. Go on. And apparently they really like Vikings. I forgot about that. Because obviously I used to go there a lot for school trips. I used to go to the Jorvik Viking Centre all of the time. But unfortunately, I kind of forgot about Jorvik Viking Centre

and the Trin Museum and stuff. So when I actually went, I saw loads of people dressed, and I just thought it was like Game of Thrones or something. I was like, these absolute dweebs going to the beer halls and dressed as Game of Thrones. And then I remembered it's the Vikings, isn't it? Is it because the Danelaw was

where York is? I don't know what's the Danelaw. The Danish had their kind of run of things in like in like whenever it was like I don't know

like the 10th century or something I told you I read that book on the Anglo-Saxons right I'm paraphrasing here but they had I think it's part of some kind of compromise

when the Vikings were raiding England they had their own little spot in England for a bit right I think it might be where York is now, maybe.

I may be completely wrong, but it seems like that would be the obvious reason. I don't know when they built, presumably later, they built their big walls around the city. It's actually quite a hard city to get around. Because of the walls? Because of the walls and the traffic's very heavy. I mean, I presume

that's why they built the walls in the first place. But they've outgrown their use and they should be knocked down. Donaldson's approach to fucking National Trust. Raise it to the ground. Isn't that every city now though? I mean, not to get too Alan Partridge about it and talk about the pedestrianisation

of Norwich City Centre, but isn't every city like that now? It's just, every time I go somewhere now, I'm going to visit someone, I'm going somewhere else, someone who lives there will say, oh yeah, don't go in the morning or in the afternoon because it'll be busy with traffic. Every single place. It used to just be London and probably Birmingham, Manchester like that.

It's terrible everywhere now. I just sort of think that, you know, I appreciate that we have to think about emissions and we have to think about speed restrictions. And we have to think about how we use our city and why we use certain parts of our cities. But I will also say that I'm on the lip, hopefully, of learning to drive. So it seems like everyone's had 20 years of good driving before I've got all of it. I feel like I've got an oasis around BDI time.

It's not right. I feel like I've got into oasis around BDI time. It's not right. I feel bad. As soon as we moved in, apparently, within three days of us moving in, the council had put a piece of paper on the wall saying we're going to be getting rid of some of your parking spaces. I was like, I've not needed a parking space for 20 years. I could have been driving.

I didn't drive. Unbelievable. Is it enough to make you change your mind? Honestly, I'm going to go to the council and write a letter or something that's it what is the latest on the old driving test are you taking it again soon

I'm taking it again relatively soon but for my own mental health I'm not going to be announcing where I'm doing it speaking of the reason I read about that the other reason I read about that Danelaw place, I think that's how you pronounced it, is because it was one of the questions that came up

in the Wi-Fi have access to life in the UK test, which she passed last week. Oh my God, that one where, to get citizenship and stuff. Yeah, you need it for indefinite leave to remain and you need it for citizenship. Yeah leave to remain and you need it for citizenship. Yeah, so those of you who haven't listened very long, my wife's not from the UK, and so she had to pass it last week and she did.

And one of the questions was about that. What do they think? You don't know. You didn't know. I don't know. I don't know how that's going to enhance you being a good British subject. No, it's not. I get that they could say, like, I don't know i don't know i don't know how that's gonna enhance you being a good british subject no it's not oh i get i get that they could say like i don't know like something about the roads or how to navigate somewhere or when a certain national holiday is i can't understand that but i kind of feel like it should really just be if you are a native english speaker

do you really need to be passing the test about which king was on the throne in like 1066? Not really. No, and also presumably talking about York and the Vikings and stuff, like that's not our history. That's an invading force. How far do you want to go back? How far do you want to go back?

For crying out loud. Do the Big Bang. So I promise you now, if you arrive to that test, I think it's probably 50-50 about whether you'd pass or not. Oh, we should do it one time. I think it's quite long, isn't it? It's surprisingly long.

24 questions, I think. But they're multiple choice. They are multiple choice, to be fair. Right. Well, we should take it online for next week, see how many we get right. All right, I'm up for that. That sounds good.

Yeah, cool. Done. Write it down. Also, can we make a mental note on Thursday to talk about the Olympics, please? Yeah, it's on. It's happening. It's happening.

It's fucking happening because you are a Japanese expert. Yeah, the only time we've talked about the Olympics is when I was talking about the Japanese composer being fired. Yes. And he actually got fired in the end, I think. It's been a troubled build-up.

It's been a troubled build-up. And to be honest, that was like four days before it kicked off. And they still had another scandal to go. Yeah, I know. Which is incredible. Like me, after about six points on the part, it's a troubled build-up. So we should talk about that on Thursday.

And he will deny it. He won't deny it. I think Great Britain have got a good few medals as well. But before we go to a break and do some emails, I really wanted to talk with you about something I was reading about over the weekend, which is... So you know that ultramarathons have become a big deal now? So could you explain to uh the the silly

listeners that don't know what an ultra marathon is because i definitely know what they are yeah right so an ultra marathon is any organized race that is longer than a marathon so the 26.2 miles i think the marathon is if it's longer than that it technically qualifies as an ultramarathon. But I think, I believe I'm right in saying that the passion and participation for ultramarathons is bigger than it's ever been. It's become like a really big deal. I don't know why, but it has. And there are lots of them all around the world. And I think there's probably a circuit and there's professional athletes and the rest of it.

But anyway, over the weekend, i was reading one about this um event called the bad water ultra marathon right right and it's in bad water basin right which is the hottest part of the hottest place in the world so it's 135 miles so and presumably people die and it shouldn't exist but you know freedom America that's for other people to decide I suppose but it takes place in mid July as well

and it can reach 54 degrees centigrade or 130 degrees Fahrenheit and they start it at night but of course because it's so long it normally takes people about the very very quick ones it normally takes them between 25 and 30 hours or whatever

but anyway it's an amazing thing obviously it's incredibly dangerous and there's loads of different safety things out there. Imagine being in a Mr. Blobby costume Say again? Imagine being in a Mr. Blobby costume. I don't think they do it with that on. Well having said that having said that in a Mr. Blobby costume. I don't think they do it with that on. I mean, I suppose you... Well, having said that, having said that, in a Mr. Blobby costume,

you wouldn't suffer from something that I read about which made me bring this to the table today, right? Apparently, it's so hot that one of the regular kind of ailments or injuries people get is the sun beats down off the surface of the ground and beats back up again. And the sun is so strong that some of the regular complaints that happen that come from participants is sunburnt mouths and nostrils. So they get sunburned on the inside of their mouth and in their nostrils.

Why are they doing this to themselves? I know. Isn't it insane? But it's like, I have no concept for that level of heat. I have no concept for anyone doing a marathon because I've never done one. Yeah, same. I once got a ticket to,

I once got access to the London Marathon as part of a radio feature and didn't do it because I sprained my ankle. And, you know, I wasn't looking forward to it anyway. So I have very little concept of what an actual marathon kind of involves, which is sad on my part. But doing it in the hottest part of the world at the hottest time of the year and you're getting your nostrils sunburned,

you really have to look at... It's almost BDSM. It's weird. Why are you doing it? I think there's definitely a bit of that sensibility about it, for sure. But apparently, ever since it's become the Adventure Corps Badwater Marathon or Badwater Ultramarathon, like an official event,

no, there's never been a fatality. And apparently only 20% to 40% of people fail to reach the finishing line. So, I mean, it's pretty full on on on temperatures actually um we um very occasionally touch on the whole um fahrenheit celsius debate um but people have been noticing that on your iphone not really uh but i mean it's not is it the only americans that do use fahrenheit they're very big on it, yeah. So the Apple iPhone, people were noticing

that you never get 69 degrees Fahrenheit on it. And they thought it was because Apple just didn't want, yeah, 69, dude, like... Really? You can't ban the number 69. Well, because 69's become a bit of a bigger meme. The French will be fuming. But then it turns out that, I think it was Marcus Brownlee, the tech YouTuber, a very, very clever bloke.

He sat down with a couple of phones and stuff and tested all these places around the world that would have been 69 degrees Fahrenheit. And he found that not only do you not get 69, you also don't get, I think, a 65 and a 62. Right. So something fishy was going on. And he found out that it was because Apple use the Weather Channel data set,

effectively, and they work in Celsius. So they've obviously got to translate from Celsius to Fahrenheit, and if you do that, you never get a 69, you never get a 65. But people thought it was a genuine bit of Apple being misery guts, like not wanting the word 69, dude, on the weather app. So I think, interestingly enough, 69 Fahrenheit is exactly 20.55 Celsius. So I guess they would never have that. Yeah, they would never have it.

It would always be 68 or 70 then, I suppose. Huh. That is interesting. I guess you'd think nowadays, though, they'd be more precise. Like you'd have like a, you know, you would be able to sort of have a 25.5 or something or a 65.5. I've been obsessed with the temperature since I got a bit older. The Wi-Fi I have access to always teases me about it.

And because in the hot days, when you get those heat waves in London like we had last week, I kind of carry the thermostat around with me to see how hot it is. And sometimes I'll catch myself saying, do you know what, it's actually two degrees cooler at this point than it was at this point yesterday. And then he's like what are you talking about like i'll take it with me i'll go since i'm since i what like an actual little thermostat thing like a little kind of yeah it's a carry one around anyway because you you take it the reason that we carry it around is

because it does your central heating in the winter so you don't want it stuck on the wall because if you if you stick it on the wrong wall in a room that's always hot or something, it'll be very difficult for you to get the heating going. So you take it with you. Whoa, steady. So hang on. You, in your bag, have got the controller for your boiler slash heating system.

Oh, at home? Right. You carry it around with you at home? Around the house. Right, okay. I thought you meant like in the street. What I'm saying is, say it's winter and it's cold outside and you want to sleep in your bedroom

and you want it to be 19 degrees or whatever, put the thermostat in the bedroom because if you put the thermostat in a different room, it's going to deduct that room. It's going to be different. Right, okay, I see. I thought you were taking it on holiday and stuff. Yeah, I've got it here with me now, yeah.

Well, look, since we've moved to the coast, I am a little bit more interested in tides. I wasn't interested before. Now I'm like, tides are confusing. I don't know when they come in, when they come out. Some days it's earlier, some days it's not. Some days 1pm, it's full. Sometimes 5 in the morning is when you can actually have a swim.

But who wants to go in for a swim at like seven, eight in the morning? It's too cold. It's interesting you brought that up because it does change. And it's obviously to a certain extent, it's affected by the moon's orbit, right? I thought it was like just seasonal. I thought it was just like... It is as well.

If there was any change, it would just be seasonal. It wouldn't change from week to week. It is. No, it does. It changes. It kind of... Because it's not exactly a 24-hour day, I think, so it changes a certain bit here and there.

But the... I see. Did you see that? There was news a week or two ago from NASA saying that because... This is a bit of a complicated one, but I remember making notes about it at the time, but we didn't talk about it.

Because the moon's orbit is at a slight incline relative to the earth there's a wobble effect right and um there's there's definitely some fear that there's gonna there will be a wobble coming up and that's really going to affect the tides and it might affect there might be a lot more serious flooding than they've had before in certain places right so it can So it can really affect it. But then, of course, when you factor in the idea that oceans are rising anyway because of climate change,

it becomes a little bit, it can become a little problematic. And I don't know, this is probably a bit of a leap anyway, but just as an aside, have you seen how much flash flooding there was in London last week? That was insane. Yeah, it's an incredible amount of... I saw that guy, there was that shot of the... There's a little tunnel, there's an overpass

and a tunnel, maybe a train line. And everyone was just kind of waiting. And this guy just absolutely just started tearing it in his car. And obviously just started floating about. He just totaled his car because he just drove into the bloody water. Idiotic. I've been stopped because of flooding, and I'm going to be delayed on my journey.

How can I make this better by doing that? Oh, now I've also lost my car. Fucking stupid thing to do. You know that, and you haven't even passed your test. He's gone from one big problem, one medium-sized problem to the worst problem he'll ever have and he'll be talking about that until he dies. He's gone.

Remember when I was an idiot? He's taken that story from, oh, do you remember that? To, this is the worst day of my life. And it's being filmed. People are going, oh, mate, why have you done that? Why have you driven into it? You're a fucking idiot. Unbelievable. Anyway, Pete, we need to have a break because we Why have you tripped into it? You're a fucking idiot. Unbelievable.

Anyway, Pete, we need to have a break because we haven't had one and we need to squeeze an email or two in. So let's take a quick break while we contemplate that. And then when we come back, we'll do some emails from our lovely listeners. Don't go anywhere. Join me, Jaguar, the host of BBC Introducing Dance on Radio 1 for my brand new podcast, Utopia Talks. It's a reactive platform to discuss issues that my generation care about in dance music culture and the wider world.

I'll be talking to some of the biggest names in dance music, including people like Heidi. The lineups do not need to be 99% male driven. There's all these interesting new producers and women that are coming through, you know, all sorts. It's like women are speaking out now. And the sensational Blas Madonna. I feel like literally my entire life has led up to this. This is the first event we've had like this, not just in the UK, but really in the Western hemisphere. And to be able to be here with all of these people who are so happy is just absolutely the biggest, highest joy of my life.

As well as having the meaty conversations I often have with friends that I'd love you to join in with. There's so much new energy coming out of the pandemic and there's so many like new nights and festivals and everyone's really pushing for this new structure where people genuinely don't feel anxious about coming to a club night because of the way they look or the

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Welcome back. It's time for emails on the ACAST Creator Network. Welcome back. It's time for emails on the Luke and Pete Show. If you would like to send us a dispatch, it's a really simple hello at lukenpeteshaw.com and we can also be found on Twitter at Luke and Pete Show. Lovely. Yes, indeed. Right, I've got an email here from Alex who says,

Hi lads, currently isolated due to a close contact. Sorry to hear that, Alex. And it's given me a bit of time to look through some old LPs I haven't listened to in a while. While doing so, I was reminded of a vintage dad move by the father I have access to about a decade now. Sorry, about a decade ago now. Jesus, I can't read to that.

I read that whole sentence again. While doing so, I was reminded of a vintage dad move by the father I have access to about a decade ago now. There we go. We often used to do family car boot sales to raise a few quid and clear the house of stuff. One time, my dad rather surprisingly took his

whole ACDC collection along, laid them out on the stall and then, brilliantly, flat out refused to sell them to anybody who inquired or made an offer. He then took them back home and stored them away again. I'm unsure exactly why he wanted to do this, other than perhaps showing off his record.

I know he's very sentimentally... Sorry, other than showing off his record. I know he's very sentimentally attached to ACDC. He once told me he only wrote in black ink for a year after original frontman Bon Scott died in 1980. I mean, I mostly write in black ink anyway. I'm not sure anyone would notice that. But it's a personal tribute and fair enough.

This leads me to ask a couple of questions, says Alex. Firstly, are either of your dads or the dads of anybody listening particularly precious about something? And if so, why? And secondly, what's the weirdest thing you or anyone has ever seen bought sold or experienced at a car boot sale they can be very interesting places especially when all of the diehard collectors are out and about at 6am cheers for the company alex now uh my dad's not precious about anything apart from everything.

Right. You never know what his thing will be. If he gets upset about something, you never know why. You'll never see it coming effectively. He'll be annoyed that someone's moved something but you didn't know it was important to him, etc, etc. So, yeah, you always get blindsided by it, to be honest. Always out of left field, that one. Is he not attached to the bone he keeps on his chain around his neck?

Well, no one's taking that because no one wants that piece of trash. Does he still wear it? Yeah, he still wears it. No doubt when he departs this plane, I'll have it around my neck, like the weirdo that we are. When your dad sadly shuffles off this veil of tears, I think you should wear it as a tribute. Yeah, I think I should too.

My dad isn't really precious about... Oh, he's precious about the garage. So my dad gets precious about the garage and the kind of workshop he's got next to the garage, which is fair enough because it's his thing and the next thing is to be in the right way. And he's also very particular about how the dishwasher is loaded. Right, okay.

Because I'm a recent dishwasher convert. I've never had a dishwasher before and they've got a weird setup in the new house. They didn't really have a drying board, so I was like, well, we're going to have to just... They had a dishwasher, so I presume that's how they got their things done. So I got a dishwasher, and it's all...

I didn't realise it needed salt, because we were living in a hard water area. I didn't really know that you didn't put cups on the side. If he saw my dishwasher, he would hit the fucking roof. He'd have to stand in his shed for a bit. He'd be so angry. So we haven't got a drying rack at our house either, but we've got a space on the side with like a rubber kind of mat.

Yeah. But there's no kind of, there's no like old fashioned, like metal kind of drying thing on the side of the sink. Cause we've got this different, we've got this like butler sink thing, which is different. But my,

my, my, so first of all, I'm surprised that you normally, the first time I would have heard of you having a dishwasher was when you unnecessarily took it apart. That would be the first thing. Or put washing up liquid in, which I have done before to a dishwasher.

That is a disaster. Never do that. You'd think it would work, but it doesn't work. No, it does not work. It doesn't matter how little you put in. And it's so much form. So much form. It goes to show you how little washing up liquid you have to use generally.

But yeah, so I think with the dishwasher thing, I think a lot of the tablets you can get now have got salt in them as well, mate. So you don't need to worry about it. It's like an all-in-one type thing. No, I tried that, mate. It didn't work? No, I need extra salt because it's a very hard water area. Seaside, isn't it?

There's nothing more disappointing than waiting for the dishwasher cycle to finish, opening the dishwasher, and it's not really cleaned very well. i'll be honest with you now i'll be honest with you right now i have got dishwasher and i know as much as this right i load it with dirty stuff i press the button one particular light lights up i then close the dishwasher and it starts when it finishes it pops open that's all i know if i one day got to the dishwasher and it starts. When it finishes, it pops open. That's all I know. If I one day got to the dishwasher, we've had this new kitchen for about three years. If I one day got into the kitchen,

opened the dishwasher, and a different light was showing, I wouldn't know what to do. You wouldn't know the diagnosis. But that's never happened. I think with, but what I do like about that, modern technology,

modern kind of white goods, they're quite fucking needy. Like, it finishes and it just starts beeping, the washing machine. Beep, beep, beep. Microwave, you finish something, beep, beep, beep. The oven timer finishes, beep, beep, beep. Why are you so bloody needy? As long as it's hermetically sealed, as long as I don't open it, it'll remain fresh for half a day, I reckon.

And I have proved that. But they're just needy. And the microwave is very needy. It just beeps for ages and then takes a minute off and then starts beeping again. All right, mate, I'll get to you. You've probably made the beans a bit hot right now,

so I'm going to give it five minutes, OK? Have you ever put something you shouldn't have in a dishwasher? Like what? Like a... The reason I'm asking that is because you sent a very frightened video to me the other day of you putting olives

in the dishwasher. Did I say dishwasher? I meant microwave. He said microwave, yeah. I've put two olives in the microwave and it just started sparking the fuck out it was brilliant is that because that iron content's so high maybe yeah

I don't know isn't there aren't there certain things like grapes grapes explode you can do you can do grapes for a bit

I used to put grapes in porridge and put it in the microwave you can get away with it for like 15 seconds but they do they're like little grenades in the microwave

for too long and they're fucking hot really fucking hot as well I think it must be because the water the water content's so high but they turn

into tiny fucking bastard grenades it's bad there's a second worst thing's happened so two bad things have happened

in my house when the wifi I have access to was away right one is exploding grapes in the microwave. It took me ages to clean it, but thankfully the microwave was fine.

Secondly, not long after we painted the bedroom, I had blueberries in my porridge and I was eating them in bed and I'd put them in the microwave as well. And I stuck my spoon into a blueberry and it absolutely spat staining blue liquid all up the wall behind me. Mate, I had to repaint the wall.

That's the thing. You don't know what's going to be... Coffee. I always worry about coffee. Coffee's fine. You can usually get that off stuff. But yeah, anything fruit, fruity. Anything fruity on the wall is a nightmare. And that's my responsibility now. I have to worry about that I have to repaint stuff

I think I can't make a gouge at all listen we should get out of here and leave but we should leave on this note when you're Pete Donaldson stain removal is a big part of your life the dogs are involved as well

the dogs make stains I'm sure they do I'm sure they do right let's get out of it we're back on thursday for more of this nonsense if you've got anything to say to us about horse racing weddings ultra marathons temperatures dishwashers microwaves and foods that stain please get in touch hello at luke and pete show.com you can get in touch about anything but they're the kind of touch points for today's show. We've enjoyed talking to you.

Thanks very much for lending us your ears. We hope to have them back again on Thursday. But until then, we'll say goodbye. Say goodbye, Peter. Comprehensive. Goodbye. Goodbye from me as well. The Luke and Pete Show is a Stack Production and part of the ACAST Creator Network.