The Luke and Pete Show - Supermarket Alumni

Episode Date: July 8, 2021

On today's show, the boys digest the recent news coverage of eating competitions on TV, as Luke decides which food would be his go-to binge-eating snack.We also have time for our favourite NEW PLAYER yet, how to survive eating lethal plants, and a very misleading email...GET STUCK IN!Have you ever eaten a poisonous plant? Or actually seen a celebrity shopping in a garden centre? You know who to tell. GET IN TOUCH by dropping us an email over at [e-mail] or on our Instagram/Twitter pages @lukeandpeteshow.Produced by Natalie Wilson. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the Luke and Pete Show, Pete Donaldson and Luke Moore with you, talking about batteries and all your stories. Have you ever killed a man? We want to hear from you. Hello at LukePeteShow.com. What's been happening in the week, Luke? Have you seen that Morrison's for sale, mate? You sacked off the first intro because you weren't happy with it. And then I delivered that. But you decided to go with the one about killing a man, and you're fine with that. That's fine with that, yeah. Have I seen what's for sale?

Morrison's. What, the entire shop, yeah? I feel like I should be informed of that. I'm a you're fine with that. That's fine with that, yeah. Have I seen what's for sale? Morrison's. What, the entire shop, yeah? I feel like I should be informed of that. I'm a Morrison's alumnus. 6.3 billion takeover. Yeah, I can't afford it.

But I have contributed to that because I used to be on the car park booth at Safeway, which became Morrison's. So I've chucked a bit of, I've chucked some money into the coffers there. Why did, what happened to Fine Fair?

Fine Fair. What's that? That was like a shitty Morrison's in the 80s. We didn't have that down south. We had some terrible, it had a particularly bad logo and some very thin, crinkly carrier bags. Yeah, so was it similar to like Quick Save?

Yeah. There must be on eBay like people selling old carrier bags from like the past. Where's that come from? There must be. You don't want to be buying one. I want to buy a Fine Fair carrier bag.

I've never even heard of it. I want a Rumbelaw's carrier bag. Do you know what? When the Safeway was built in Gosport, where I grew up, it was like a big deal. It was like a brand new purpose-built building for a big supermarket. And there was already Asda down the road, so people were kicking off about that. And then, no sooner had Safeway opened up they

opened up a Burger King. It's incredible. And then they turned the old Ritz Cinema into an Iceland. Beautiful.

Nah the Ritz Cinema was amazing. I'll change. I'll change. The Ritz Cinema had the biggest screen on the south coast.

Right okay. I mean is it just because we're old or was it better when independent companies like that did those kind of things like it's quite a cool thing to be an independent company have a cinema yeah there's one in that i don't think it's connected to anyone in burke hamstead and uh it's it's a lovely old kind of art decor cinema there's a restaurant in there it's really

classy you know pricey but classy but classy and the guy who runs it is kind of like a man about town and he sort of before every performance before every screening he'll come on stage and sort of go

he'll probably he'll frequently slag off the film people are about to watch and sort of go I don't know how I would turn it over this is Fast and the Furious 7

who gives a shit you know why is he there then? he's there I believe it's technically a performance then I think there's some kind of then he's there I believe it's technically a performance then I think there's

some kind of that's interesting I think that's the case I'm not going to cast aspersions but it technically becomes a performance and I think you can

get certain tax breaks with it which is sensible I'd do it the rich cinema used to do used to show B movies beforehand

oh nice so if you got there early it was shown like the living dead of the Manchester lovely that's nice then there would be a break

and then there'd be the main feature. Right. But I told you, did I tell you about my granddad and that cinema? No. So my granddad used to deliver bread and cakes and everything

to everyone in Gosport. And he ended up becoming some kind of sales manager for the whole area. But he started out delivering, in the 70s, delivering bread and cakes to all the different businesses

that had catering situations. And it later transpired, he told me a couple of years ago, that what he was actually doing was he was delivering bread and cakes to, say, the Ritz cinema. But it was all done, obviously, back in the 70s, it was all very kind of person-to-person, like personal relationships, right? He would give the manager of the Ritz cinema

a couple of loaves of bread for his family and a couple of cakes. Oh, and free tickets were exchanged. As a result, my mum said, all through the 70s, whenever they went to the cinema, they never had to pay. She never knew why.

And he was doing it to everyone. The bread guy. The leisure centre. Go for a free swim. Nice. Because all you're doing is getting all the bread you want courtesy of my grandad.

Like, crazy, man. I love that. It's adorable. It's good stuff. Yeah, it's good stuff. Speaking of bread and cakes, have you seen, presumably,

I mean, I don't want to cast aspersions on our good friends at BT Sport and our colleagues and friends who occasionally work there as well. But have you seen that they, I think, probably suffering the lack of the Euros because it has to be on terrestrial television.

Have you seen that they've started showing competitive eating? Yeah, where did this come from? Was it BT Sport, was it, that put this on? I think it's because they've got some kind of deal with ESPN

and it's shown on ESPN in the US. I see. I saw a guy eating an unholy amount of hot dogs and obviously the lemonade man that you're probably going to explain.

Have you seen how they do the hot dogs though? It's disgusting. They dip it in water. Yeah. Yeah. So they get the bun and the hot dog in the bun,

obviously. Just in your mind if you're listening, picture a hot dog dip it in some water and just shove it down their throat yes

they're not enjoying you wouldn't call them foodies the obsession I have with it and I'll talk about the lemonade thing in a minute

you think you could have a crack at it no I don't but the obsession I have with it is that genuinely a decent amount of those competitive

eaters who are really good are quite skinny yeah that's the thing because they've got more room to expand but the calories are the calories it's really difficult oh no but i mean i mean they probably vom after to cry in the system surely you reckon i watched the guy who was drinking all of the lemonade he drank what was it two no six liters four liters something like that of lemonade so there was a guy who and it's very difficult to get the scale of how much he was drinking in terms of volume

because it's just you know they're just up on the stage he's got his vessel and he finished the vessel of lemonade which is American style

still lemonade obviously because it was happening in the US I think he finished it in about 46 seconds and I looked up what it was it was nine pints

nine pints we had a remember we had drank a pint in like five seconds or something you said you could drink a liter of water in 10 seconds right so i filled up the trusty now gene yeah and we did it right here you were sat right where you were there nearly killed me he's a massive burp which the listeners didn't enjoy you didn't do it so nine pints of anything yeah in 46 seconds he's possibly gonna kill kill someone. And they're not professional.

And it also puts me in mind of those viral videos, the really dangerous ones that went around a few years ago of people unsealing bottles of Jack Daniels and necking them in one go. I saw one the other day

of a guy who unsealed a bottle of vodka, a good sized one, a bottle of Jack Daniels, poured them both into a vessel and drank the whole thing in one. Obviously the video stops after that. Presumably he's just going to go and pick that up because I'm going to die. You would die if you do that.

Would you die? I think you would die. Yeah, you'd die, yeah. It's not ideal. I don't think anything, because I saw on the way home from Thurberton on last Saturday

and there was a woman swigging from a big bottle of gin what like a neat bottle yeah she was just having a little sip here and there there was a news story

a while back of a woman who I mean you can you can paint your own picture of the type of person she may or may not have been who was told on a flight back

from like Spain or something like that that she couldn't take a bottle of spirits with her. Oh, she just dogged it. She just nicked it. I think she was in

big trouble after that. Yeah, maybe. Yeah. But if you had to choose a competitive eating food stuff, what would you go for? I think hot dogs

are a pretty good, because you'd be able to pack in loads, wouldn't you? It'd be like an extra intestine inside your stomach. I don't want to do anything to do with bread, though.

No, that stuff really expands. But I see why they inside your stomach. I don't want to do anything to do with bread, though. No, that stuff really expands. But I see why they use the water. I don't know. Lasagna. I'd eat that big Wembley lasagna. I reckon I could do pretty well on Jaffa cakes. They are very eatable, aren't they? Very eatable.

We had a... There's like strawberry flavoured ones these days. Me and a few of my mates... Yeah, I know, you get pineapple ones as well. Me and a few of my friends during lockdown know you get pineapple ones as well me and a few of my friends during lockdown were doing stupid shit like challenges and stuff

on the whatsapp group just for a laugh and I actually shocked myself at how much better than I was at Jaffa Cakes I'm also the fattest of all of us

and I was kind of a bit like oh that's a bit of a stereotype I could probably smash a packet of Jaffa Cakes in under a minute if you ate the chocolate off Jaffa Cakes, it was just a chocolate bar made of that chocolate,

I think you'd be very surprised how bad that chocolate is. Oh, I completely agree. I completely agree. I think it reminds me of the... So do you remember when you used to get a chocolate advent calendar as a kid? Yes. And so you would get... A little chocolate.

These days it's all Cadbury's this and... But back then, it used to be the themed ones, the licensed ones, whether it be... I guess these days, it'd be something like Marvel or Batman or whatever. They were all made by a company called Kinnerton. Right. I just always remember this.

Kinnerton. And the chocolate in them was horrific. Yeah. It tasted like dust. Right. That Jaffa Cake chocolate reminds me of that it would always be like companies that don't normally make chocolate

they'll just have a crack at it like Swizzles Matlow or something it's like you don't normally make chocolate don't worry about it at least Swizzles Matlow are known for their sugary chewy sweets and lollipops but we used to go to the Navy Club where my dad was allowed in because he'd been in the Navy or something.

It was just old boys talking about the fucking war or whatever. Was your dad in the war, though? No. He missed the Falklands by six months, I think. How did he miss it? Oh, he was raging. He went the wrong direction.

Oh, okay. So he left? No, he'd only gone by then. But he was like, he was like, chomping at the bit, sort of going I want to get

I want to get I want to get I want to get the orgies and then about six months after that he was like what the fuck was that all about because you obviously get conditioned as a

what were they talking about at the Navy Club though just where to get the best pornography I don't know you start talking about stories yeah so they used to have a disco

every Easter and a disco every Halloween a disco every Easter and a disco every Halloween a disco every Christmas and you'd have Santa and stuff and they used to give out these fucking chocolate eggs at Easter oh

dog chocolate absolute dog chocolate and presumably you've tried some the dogs you've got access to have you tried some of their chocolate I've tried every bit of their food

to be quite frank what's the best rank them chicken cubes are pretty good it's like a meaty licorice. It's just chicken. Dentisticks aren't bad either. What are the ingredients

in the dentisticks though? I think it's just probably cow bones smashed down, some kind of animal proteins and mint. I think that's it. Apparently it's rice flour.

Oh, rice flour. Okay. Wheat starch. Oh. Glycerin yeah gelatin natural poultry flavour

and a lot of chemicals fucking hooves yeah a lot of fucking hooves a lot of chemicals yeah I don't know what it is but the dogs

every dog loves a dentist stick if you've got a dog that doesn't love a dentist stick they're a liar so the equivalent for cats is this thing called dreamies oh yes I've seen those

they look like little golden creams or little ravioli little pouches they've got like different things inside but apparently they're really good we give them to our cats because they're really good

for their teeth that's why apparently you shouldn't give them wet food as particularly as they get older because you can get problems with their teeth and their gums and stuff but I've never ever

tried any cats it's horrible when I pour so we use this food called meowing heads right right and their gums and stuff. But I've never, ever tried any cat's pee. It's horrible. When I pour... So we use this food called meowing heads, right? Right. Like talking heads.

Yeah, I guess that's the pun. But it's expensive. But the reason I do it is because I think if you've got animals, you should look after them as best you can, right? So anyway,

I pour this massive bag of meowing heads into a cereal box thing with one of those things on top of it. You know, the plastic... Yes. You know what I mean? So it's like a Tupperware thing. Anyway those things on top of it you know like the plastic yes you know what I mean

so it's like a Tupperware thing anyway when I pour that in the smell is horrific it's horrific it's like the same sort of thing you feel it's like fish food

isn't it basically yeah but have you ever eaten fish food yes I have when I was a kid what was it like uh fishy was it really

it's like the it should be fishy because it's not made of fish is it is it not I don't know I presume not I think it is I think it is made of fish it absolutely reeks of fish It's like the... It should be fishy because it's not made of fish, is it? Is it not? I don't know. I presume not. Yeah, I think it is.

I think it is made of fish. It absolutely reeks of fish. It's like pounded and dried out fish bits and it's like on top of okonomiyaki is the hardest food in the world. Katsuboshi fish, which is dried fish and very, very, very membrane thick

sort of cut fish and you sprinkle it on top of anything hot and it sort of dances beautifully why is it the hardest food in the world I don't know

the composition of it when it dries it becomes incredibly hard yeah you don't you don't eat it as a solid object it has to be very thinly shaved off

into very very thin leaves oh okay right on the top but it's so thin it dances but it's apparently the hardest food in the world

you haven't eaten wet dog food have you no no I wouldn't stoop that low but any other kind of hard

pet food yeah anything crunchy I'll have a crack at why just because you're fascinated by it yeah

why should they have all the fun should you do it when no one else is around this one's for you Donny so if you came

to my house and I stank of meat and there was a dreamy there, you'd try it? Knowing that you have full access to these dreamies, no. But the point is, you were talking about dentistics. I mean, everyone listening who's got a cat will know the same thing. They fucking love it. So they like their food anyway.

And in my experience, cats aren't really like dogs. So they're not always hungry if you give a cat a decent meal it'll eat it and it'll be really happy about it and it'll go off and do its thing

right it's blog yeah yeah exactly but then when it's time for its food again it'll come back and it'll start meowing and be like oh it's time for my dinner

and then they're normally pretty kind of metronomic they know when it is so my cats know for example at about 9.30 at night they'll get up from whatever they're doing sleeping if they're in and they'll basically just start walking out into the kitchen It's metronomic. They know when it is. So my cats know, for example, at about 9.30 at night,

they'll get up from whatever they're doing, sleeping if they're in, and they'll basically just start walking out into the kitchen and just sit out there. And then I go out and I feed them and I shut the door. The point being, they're cool with whatever, but I'm not exaggerating.

If one of my cats is like three gardens away and I can see him, and I get the dreamies packet and I shake it by the window, he will absolutely bolt it. I don't know what they put in them. I don't it by the window, he will absolutely bolt it. I don't know what they put in them. I don't know what it is, but they fucking love it.

It's like you with a pint. It's like you with a tisky. If I shook a tisky by the window and you were three gardens away, you'd be legging it in. No, I like pints at the right time. It's not like I'm... I think licorice is a more

kind of adequate answer so you get a whiff of it if you did this with your face get a whiff of it on the air but the tisky and licorice the licorice the tisky that would be a bad look

that would be a bad look it would be a bad look by the way one of the things we haven't spoken about Pete and I think we should I think it's probably within our purview

and it's probably our duty to do so the video of Matt Hancock oh sexy I think it's probably within our purview and it's probably our duty to do so. The video of Matt Hancock. Oh. Sexy. You must have something to say about that. What?

You know, if you are going to have an illicit liaison in your office, people have to know where cameras are. They're little kind of like circular half circles. There was talk he didn't know. There was talk the one on the first thing was getting removed. That makes him more

unfit for office than anyone else. We already know that we do not have a technocratic kind of computationally knowledgeable front bench. Well, generation really.

They are thick as fuck. And yeah, to not know a camera is there is ridiculous. I mean, I presume you have a certain idea that these things aren't leaked, and it's probably problematic that it has been leaked, but you have to know a camera's there.

And if you don't, you're fucking simple. It's like the bloke who had one off the wrist on a train a couple of years ago. It's like, if you're in the fucking vestibule, if you're sat at your desk and you think, no one's around, I'll knock one out. That is not, you know for a fact you're going to get in trouble for that. Is that better or worse than Hancock? It was a Hancock.

That was the problem. But for example then, and this is the real nub of the issue, people are going to be listening to this thing and I'll say, oh, story, it's not been covered in this way. If Matt Hancock had a wank instead, would it be better or worse

at his desk at his desk it would be funny I think it would be better yeah I don't think it's as bad because the whole point of it

is the COVID regulation yeah he's doing that because he can't get close to anybody else I'm not saying he should be doing any of it at work

and I certainly would never do that at work but I'm just saying he's not the reason I'm at work. Right. And so I certainly would never do that at work. But I'm just saying he's not... The reason I'm asking this question is because it's quite an interesting thought experiment. Because you're right to say, I think, the fact that it was leaked is hugely problematic. You're also

right to say that, you know, for example, I've never knowingly worked in an office in my entire career that hasn't had CCTV. And you haven't got to be an expert to see a fucking camera and assume a CCTV camera's in the world. If you're in the government, you should know that with the exception of China,

the UK is the most surveilled society in the world. So assume it's happening, you're in a government building. But the interesting part of it is, if he had just given himself a little treat under the desk and there was no one else in the office, he's not broken COVID regulations. A little dreamy.

What's people's angle going to be? Right, yeah. Because all the people who have got an axe to grab with Hancock, fair enough, if he goes Hancock by name, Hancock by nature, what's their angle? Yeah. I mean, he'd still be, I think he'd be fired on the first day. The angle is he should be working. He should be working.

What are you doing? He should be working. And what you doing? He should be working. And what happens if he then says, this is my lunch break? Yeah, I just had my COVID jab. I was testing out whether my arm still worked. The door was locked. The door was locked.

Yeah, I've been working hard. I've been working hard. Hancock needs his treaties. Yeah. Yeah. Hancock dresses as a baby, with nappies on. What, doing one of those adult baby things?

Adult diaper things, yeah. Just sort of running around his office going, mama. So for me, it's fucking funny. I think the funniest would be the handjob, I'm afraid.

It would just be, can you do a handjob on yourself? I don't think I can. No, you can't, can you? No. I had a handjob. I did it myself. Yeah.

I think a person's sexual proclivity should be their own and they can also do whatever they want to do. Not in an office. Yeah, exactly. Not in a public proclivity should be their own. Not in an office. Yeah, exactly. Not in a public building. What if the Pope walked in?

You'd know about that. You're going to get a memo. You'd get an email. No, Hancock, he wouldn't have read it. Oh, I forgot the password. Didn't see it. Of all the people to walk in in the middle of this. It's a real shame.

Yeah. You don't actually believe that, do you? No. It's a real shame how the media hounded his wife. Yes, that's awful. That's awful. I don't know why they think that's acceptable. And her husband, he's like a multimillionaire. I mean, that is a...

Hard to dress that one up as a sideways move, isn't it? So the woman he was caught on the CCTV with, her husband is a multimillionaire. But they're all... It's all the same circle. They're all rich anyway. I don't know why in this day and age

of all times that the media publicly think that it's a human interest thing, public interest thing to be hounding people's partners

and that kind of stuff. It's bullshit. We think it's bad but then you talk to people of an older generation sometimes they sort of go eee and they talk about

the wife and it's like yeah times have changed and attitudes have changed I think a little bit it's going to take a little time for people to sort of

there's no public interest in that no it's just it's just it's just rubbernecking it's shit it's rubbernecking and the reason it will happen

is because people will still buy the newspaper and then they'll justify it do you know what is better than Matt Hancock having an affair well Donald Trump's kind of

he's got like a little social media site hasn't he that he sort of deals with what his own one yeah I think so oh he's taken his ball

and gone home with it so they've set up this thing for like all your Trump fans to sort of get involved in stuff and it has been taken over by the internet people it's been taken over

by people who just oh is it called Getter yes yeah I heard about this and it's been constantly taken over by people who just post Oh, is it called Getter? Yes. Yeah, I heard about this. It's been constantly taken over by people who just post erotic doll beings, erotic drawings of

Sonic the Hedgehog, which I think is very good. I saw that. I saw that it's called Getter and I saw it got hacked. It didn't get hacked, it was just people posting. Well, this is the thing. No, it did get hacked. Oh, did it? Because a lot of the users, the high profile ones, Pompeo, a couple of others, got their usernames changed. Right. And the reason it? Because a lot of the users, the high profile ones, Pompeo,

a couple of others, got their usernames changed. Right. And the reason it happened, I saw a thread of it on Twitter and some guy who, I mean, everyone pretends to be

an expert on everything on Twitter, but some guy posted part of the source code and said, this is a horrific job. This is like the worst piece of coding ever.

And that's why it's happened. It would have taken that person 10 minutes to get to. Do you reckon I would have had a chance? It wouldn't have taken me 10 minutes.

I had no idea what I was looking at. Anyway, let's have a quick break. When we come back, I've got a couple of good emails to get from. We didn't get to them

on Monday, but we'll get on them today and we'll do some battery brands as well. A couple of exciting ones in there. All right. We're back with Luke Peatch.

It's Thursday, so we are, of course, talking about batteries. Any more battery brands? Any new battery brands coming in, Luke? Pete Shaw. It's Thursday, so we are, of course, talking about batteries. Any more battery brands? Any new battery brands coming in, Luke? Yes, so Adam's tweeted in some Tronic Energy. Tronic Energy batteries. This guy got Tronic Energy.

I think they're new. I think they're new, too. I've never seen them before. Tronic Energy is a new player entering the game. Congratulations to you, Adam. And then Sam tweeted in Aero Latte. Congratulations to you, Adam. And then Sam tweeted in Aero Latte.

As in? Aero, the chocolate bar, latte. Yep, exactly that. So the battery itself says Aero Latte, the original steam-free milk frother. Oh, it does. Oh, my word. So do you reckon that came out of a steam-free milk frother? It must have done.

Yeah. What an exciting discovery that is. Yes. I've never seen a battery so good. Does that count technically as a brand? Yeah, of course it does. It's a new player. It's a new player. So two out of two so far,

but I'm sad to say Matthew sent in some large batteries. They're not new. They're not new. I've seen them a few times before, brother. Two out of three is not bad. Special. The background of that picture as well. Absolute dig, mate. Southampton shirt. Southampton shirt. Pathetic. Dig. The background of that picture as well. Absolute dig, mate.

Southampton shirt. Southampton shirt. Pathetic. Dig. But sorry to you, Matthew, but I mean, tell you what, well done to Adam and Sam, but particularly to Sam.

Very exciting. Aero latte. Can't believe our luck. And new battery brands are appearing all the time. So we could be, you know, in hog heaven for a long time yet. Could be.

Hog heaven being one of the batteries. Do you reckon they're still making them? Yeah, new batteries. Yeah. They're just caught in the Suez Canal or, you know, yeah. Could be. Hog heaven being one of the batteries. Do you reckon they're still making them? Yeah, and new batteries, yeah. They're just caught in the Suez Canal or caught up in Germany. You can't buy anything anymore. I saw a really lazy meme that I enjoyed today of that fire in the Gulf of Mexico

photoshopped into the Suez Canal. Someone just wrote something like, can't believe what's happened. It's good. I like that one little, that meme of like the one ship just kind of put in the water like nowhere near the actual fire.

Is it even fire? It's not water, is it? It must be like foam or something or something to calm it down. I mean, I would assume that unless it's something to do with the salinity of the seawater or something,

that that was not going to do much. I don't fully have the grasp of physics to know exactly how that fire is impossible. Just lads going at it. How is that fire even possible? I don't know. It's got access to oxygen and the oil is just burning it.

It can burn on the top of water, but I think the ferocity took everyone by surprise. There's burning on the top of water and then there's that. It's not a flaming sambuca, is it? No, it looks like the portal to hell. Anyway, Jack French, hello to you jack's got in touch with a bloody interesting story the kind of email that i am delighted to see drop into the

luke and pete show yeah email uh inbox which of course can be found at hello at luke and pete show.com um jack says the following he says chaps while discussing michael crichton on thursday show last week you briefly mentioned Michael J. Fox. I wanted to share a story about him from around the turn of the century. I was about eight years old. My parents in Sidcup in South London. We're doing one of the quintessentially British Sunday morning pastimes, visiting a garden centre.

When we arrived, I did what any child does at a garden centre. I bolted from my parents and made a direct byline, oreline i suppose that's supposed to say for the pets it's great to have pets at a garden center to this day he says i still bloody love a terrapin um after a few minutes in the pet area i turned around to see my parents had vanished knowing my green fingered parents however i headed over to the outdoor plant selection where i was fairly sure they'd be it was in the outdoor plant section where i found myself in the middle of a crowded commotion through the crowds i was absolutely gobsmacked to see none other than former hollywood heartthrob and 80s movie star michael j fox love to the family jack french thanks for that Jack are you being silly

no why are you being a silly boy why you cut out one of the lines didn't you why what do you mean why

at least I think it was Michael J Fox I couldn't really tell you this back to the fuchsias yeah fuck's sake Luke 40 years old I didn't get it

you're a disgrace I didn't get it that joke is as old as the fucking. I didn't get it. You're a disgrace. I didn't get it. That joke is as old as the fucking hills. I didn't know. I've never heard it. I've never heard it before. Fantastic. Well, Jack, look.

I cut that last line out because I thought, oh, he's not sure. Yeah. It makes it sound a bit shit up. Luke, that is terrible. Mate. Jack, well done. That's amazing.

I've never heard that before and you've done me. Yeah. Absolutely done me absolutely done me Meg's all over the place he's done a he's done a chop I think I have to retire now

don't I I think you can there's nowhere to go from here yeah who's coming in next week producer Natalie's going to be doing next week's show for the avoidance of all doubt

I saw that email I thought it was a good story yeah I copy and pasted it into the running order I made a I made a a mark in my mind to make sure into the running order I made a a mark

in my mind to make sure I read it and I thought on Monday's show I'm going to show it for Thursday and at no point did it register

until then slowing up mate you are slowing up it's worrying when you get texts from Royal Mail asking you to I heard that's a big deal

yeah I fell for it I fucking fell for it a few weeks ago did you yeah I was a bit tired and I went and typed my details in and then I replaced

both of my bloody cards like an idiot one of our colleagues here fell for a scam message that was purporting to be from Twitter fell for it hook, line and sinker

it started with something like hello darling yes he's like hello darling yeah what can I say though I can't talk yeah but then I'm scared to read another email like, hello, darling. Yes. Hello, darling.

What can I say, though? I can't talk, can I? I'm scared to read another email. But then the hackers were... Somehow texted me saying, I am Polish hacker. Right. We've taken ownership of the Football Ramble account. And, yeah.

No, I think it was, I'm a polished hacker. Ah, good. I'm very good at it. Hello, darling. Yeah. Hello, darling. Read us another email out, Peter. Isn't that a complete stitch'm a polished hacker. Ah, good. I'm very good at it. Hello, darling. Yeah. Hello, darling. Read us another email out, Peter.

Isn't that a complete stitch-up of me? I mean, incredible. Rich. Hello to Rich. What have we got here? Hiya, Luke and Pete. I'm a few weeks behind on episodes. The prompt for me writing in is the delightful Jim Campbell telling tales of going to A&E.

However, if on the off chance in the episode I've not caught up on, you talk about accidental poisonings, this, the most stupid thing you've done, the powers of watching YouTube or doctors looking at you like a moron, I guess it could fall under all of those categories. Mid last year, in the middle of lockdown, I watched a YouTube live stream of someone talking about wild food here in the UK, plants you could forage and eat, et cetera, et cetera. Inspired by it, my partner and I set off the next day to do some of our own.

After collecting a few leaves that, let's be honest, just tasted like lemony leaves, lemony leaves, I came across a small evergreen tree. Remember the video? Remembering the video recalled them saying that a young spruce needle makes a delicious tea. I began picking them and ate a few needles. They were really tasty. It was at this point

my partner advised I double check what they were. I wasn't too fussed as to the best of my knowledge, if it turned out to be a fir tree, it's all fine. However, after consulting Google, I really realised what I was eating was a yew. Not only is it not edible, it's one of the most toxic plants around. With a lethal dose of 50 grams, causing a cardiogenic shock. And with no known antidote. A quick call to NHS on 111.

They advised I took myself to A&E. Luckily, the amount I consumed didn't cause me any harm, and after a few hours of cardiology checks and working around to ensure I didn't drop dead, I was released back home with advice not to do it again. I did have a doctor come up to me to ensure I hadn't eaten it as some kind of medieval suicide attempt, to which I just had to keep

insisting it was because I was a moron. On the way to A&E, I did admit my wife promised that if I died, she'd give people more details than just you three, in case they thought I was in cohorts with Rob Harris and On the way to A&E, I did admit my wife promised that if I died, she'd give people more details than just U-Tree, in case they thought I was in court with Rob Harris and Gary Glitter. So all in all, my advice to you guys and fellow listeners is to not just chow down on nearby foliage. Rich, I'm not going to do that.

I watched a murder mystery on ITV, probably one of the Ruth Rendles back in the 80s, where laburnum was used as a murder tool. I've always been obsessed with laburnum seeds. I had no idea that yew tree was poisonous. I just looked it up. Apparently it's highly poisonous, can make a small child severely ill,

and there have in fact been deaths linked to yew poisoning. All parts of the tree are poisonous. Yeah. Huh. I wouldn't have had no idea. Absolutely no idea about it. I can't really identify a yew tree

to be honest that's why well I think I think I'm right I'm saying so I'm fairly certain I was in Scotland once and we went to go

and visit the oldest tree in the UK it was in some kind of cemetery up in Scotland and I'm pretty sure that was a yew tree right

might have been I mean you type yew tree into Google and I mean those faces I'mw tree into Google and those faces, I'm not reading out one of them because he's very litigious. Are you on incognito mode?

No, no, none of my Googles are in incognito mode. Right. Be careful. It's a lovely looking tree. Oh yeah, they look pretty cool. I like the bark. It looks very sinewy.

Like it's been pumping iron. Pretty well storied. Beautiful. Great stuff. All right, Pete. I think that's about as much time as we've got for today, but we will be back on Monday, of course. Maybe when we get back on Monday,

England will be European champions. Holy moly. Who knows? I'll be pissed. We'll cover that on the Football Round. We'll cover that on the Football Round. But thank you very much for listening. Do get in touch.

If you've got an email you'd like us to read out hello at lukenpeatshow.com we are on at lukenpeatshow on Twitter and Instagram our lovely producer Nat

does an amazing job so make sure you check that out as well for some extra content some behind the scenes stuff you're probably going to see a video of me making a complete prick of myself over that email earlier

so check it out at lukenpeatshow have a lovely rest of the week and weekend and we'll see you next time. And he was back to the futures. The Luke and Pete show is a stack production and part of the Acast creator network.