The Luke and Pete Show - Swamp Life

Episode Date: April 14, 2025

Today, after Pete introduces us to the world of expat DJ channels, Luke is left wondering why some expats seem to loathe British culture — especially the ones who spend their days googling Sadiq Khan and eat only English food once they've moved to Spain. Luke wants absolutely nothing to do with it, so Pete offers up an alternative: life in a swamp, anyone?Plus, someone’s eating sunflower seeds with the shells still on…pure lunacy, and Pilot Dave is back in the LAPS cockpit!Email us at [e-mail] or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Robin Ince. And I'm Brian Cox and we would like to tell you about the new series of The Infinite Monkey Cage. We're gonna have a planetar. Jupiter versus Saturn! Well it's very well done that because in the script it does say wrestling voice. After all of that it's gonna kind of chill out a bit and talk about ice. And also in this series we're discussing history of music recording with Brian Eno and looking at nature shapes so listen wherever you get your podcasts it's the Luke and Pete Shaw Monday the 14th of April how the devil did this happen to us. How the devil did this happen to us? And how the devil did it happen to you?

Listening to the Luke and Pete show. Is it boring chat, the way people always say that stuff? What do you mean? Oh, I can't believe it's April already. Because I do do it, but I'm conscious that it's probably quite boring chat. I was listening to a DJ in Spain last week, and he was basically, there's a lot of expat channels

and I love those channels because they are really... I don't know what the fees are and if I and if you know maybe maybe in the future that's where I'll end up. But Dubai is the place where you go when you've run out of options in England. I always describe it as, if you're working in the entertainment industry and you head to Dubai, it's basically like going to MLS as a footballer. Yeah, yes, and with a massive wage cap. With a really massive wage cap. But there's all tax free and you get one flight home every year.

Oh, you get money. Yeah, I suppose you get money. But a lot of people are earning bank in MLS. Yeah, but not as much as they would. It's your last hurrah, but it's not as big a hurrah as you'd get in Saudi Arabia. Speaking of that, right, sorry to derail it, and we will come back to Spanish Expat Radio in a minute because frankly, I'm excited for that. But what you just reminded me of, do you remember that video Jermaine Genis did of himself on his Insta or whatever it was?

Yeah, but it was ironic but it didn't come away. The problem is that face does not look like a face that screams intelligence or tact. What I find interesting about that, do you know the video I'm talking about where he's going, only certain man know what I'm talking about when it comes to securing the coin? And he's looking at a beer going, go on then! Go on then! It's really weird. It was all silly, wasn't it? It was all just a bit of fun. No, I think he's being genuine. Right, okay.

But he, people are, the reason it's so, I mean jarring sounds like it's a negative thing, I suppose, and I'm not trying to make it negative. I mean, some of, the reason it's so, I mean, jarring sounds like it's a negative thing, I suppose. And I'm not trying to make it negative. I mean, there's so many other things he's done. I am trying to make negative, but we'll gloss over that for now. But the, the, the, the thing is, the reason I found it particularly interesting is because he's like a proper, he had carved a niche for himself as a proper kind of lovely man next door. I'm doing the one show, literally doing the one show. And then everything kind of unraveled and it became kind of clear that he was... There's a couple of texts here and there. They're a bit naughty.

Brings down a lot of people, isn't it? There were flashes earlier than that because you remember when he got a lot of stick for doing a... One show was doing a VT, introducing a VT about the cost of living crisis and he was doing a very sober bit to the camera and having a hundred thousand pound watch on. It's like take the watch off. Someone should be picking up on that. Anyway, Spanish expat radio, please take it away. Oh no, there was nothing there really, I did just genuine like kind of like. Just blokes going, oh I was just going to the beach this morning and walked and they're

all men who don't sound like they belong in the sunshine, you know what I mean? They don't like, I went to the beach this morning and I'm going to take my dog for a walk and I just thought this BG track would sound lovely. It's just all that and I'm like wow guys this is low energy, I know it's hot and I know you're overweight and I know you start the deal with a full English but good god guys pick up the pace a little bit but um and they all had like mad names like Fabio but they all sounded like they were from Kent How would you approach it? Hi guys who's enjoying speaking to other British people and not ever conversing in Spanish in a foreign land. Who's constantly going to

an administrative center to try and get your bank to do the thing that it needs to do because you don't speak any Spanish? Yeah, all that really. I just just sort of pick up the energy a little bit and sort of go... Bit nasty. The best... bit nasty. The best thing about those channels is though that they run, they seem to sort of really highlight stories about London being shit. Knife crime. All the fucking news stories are about knife crime and you know, international matters,

but knife crime in London. It's like, they're in the fucking Casa del Sol. Like what are they, why do you care about what's happening in fucking London? It always happens. So it's clearly for that kind of person, isn't it? Really? It really does. The amount of people who claim to be very passionate British people and care about, quote unquote, our values and pride of Britain and fucking Lee Rigby and Remembrance Day, then that spend all their time slagging the country off

is kind of strange. It's like, tell us, look, all they ever say is Britain's, you know, great Britain, it's great Britain, it's amazing. But tell us one thing you like about it. And they'll go, well, I can't, cause you can't do anything you like anymore. It's like, what, like what? Like what? One thing. Well, you can't say anything these days. Alright, so you can't be openly racist to people anymore and you can't grab a woman's ass in the pub. Ass? Yeah, I don't know why I said ass. Dad's been throwing the plug for grabbing ass again.

They wouldn't say it, they'd say grabbing ass. Ass? I grabbed a woman's ass and she threw me out of the pub. Their idea of British culture is basically making off-colour jokes, drinking loads of lager, and basically some quite common-or-garden, if there is such a thing, kind of disregard for women. And you can't say anything these days, and that's why I've gone to Spain so I'm a fucking girl with it then that's fine yeah don't worry about what the mayor is doing in London. These people they live in Spain yeah and they spend all their time in Spain eating English food and googling Sadiq Khan. I just asked them is there a is there a place for people like us?

For little liberal boys? In Spain? Is there a little bit of Costa del Sol, a little corner of Costa del Sol? I honestly can't think of anything worse than living in Spain. You know, I don't like... You're not a hot country kind of guy, I suppose. Not really. And I'm not saying Spain's not a beautiful country,

because it is, and I've loved visiting it. And in another world, if I was, in another lifetime, if I was like 21 and had no responsibilities, and I could definitely see myself doing like a year in Madrid or something like that. But you know when you watch those programmes where it's like escape to the sun, and they all wanna go and spend 40,000 euros

on some tiny little flat with no carpets, like at a communal pool? That to me, I personally find it depressing. Will Barron It is. But it's a working class dream though, isn't it really? You can't sort of say that it's not something that's attractive to people because that's all they can afford, is it? Jason Vale People have got their own, yeah, everyone likes different things. I'm not slagging them off for doing it. I'm just saying it's not really my thing.

Will Barron Because your dream is a bothy in Scotland. Like you want to live in a hall in the ground. Not a bothy. A nice house. You just want to live in a hall like Shrek. You want to live in a swat like Shrek. You want to be Shrek. Like Frank Clark. Pete, I'm conscious of the idea that we did promise people on Thursday that we would talk about how much money you've made from doing appearance fees and voiceover work. What's the most you've made from a fee from doing voiceover work?

Give people an insight. I don't know, voiceover work is generally poorly, it's not poorly bid because it is just fucking talking isn't it? But you've worked your time and you've done your doggies and you've built up a reputation of, if not, professionalism, certainly timekeeping. So the jobs that I always did weren't very well paid in that you would get, you know, per... you'd do like, say, seven days of voiceover across a month. So you'd do like 30 odd days of voiceover a month and you'd get paid like a grand or something. You know what I mean? So like that was... 30 days a month? That's every day in Maniac? Yeah no but you wouldn't be doing it every day. It would be like... Oh you'd just pre-record it?

It would be like 10 little sort of intros a day. So that's the sort of money you would be looking at. And you'd do it from home? No, no. Back then you didn't. I'd go to And you do it from home? No, no. Back then you didn't. I had to go to fucking 4 Music on Oxford Street or Give Me Strength Sky to do Challenge TV or Discovery Channel in... Where was that? Chiswick, isn't it? Gunnersbury? Chiswick, Gunnersbury, yeah. So it was all around there. That was kind of annoying. So it's easier when you can sort of get it done at home. But yeah, that ITV South Bank, that was a bit more picturesque, walking over one of the Thames's many bridges.

And give us an example of some of the lives you'd deliver. The only U.S. Essex coming up on ITV2! See, that's the money right there. You cannot listen to that and not think a piece is not worth the cash. But those jobs, so you'd have two different kinds of jobs. You'd have continuity jobs that were longer contract ones and then you'd get like your spot jobs, like your promo jobs, where you'd get like a couple of hundred quid to just come in and do literally about five lines per promo. So it'd be like the only way is Essex. But those would

be kind of few and far between, so you'd maybe get them a couple of months. Some months where you'd have like five of them, some months you'd have two. And that was a decent way to make money. But because they were so bloody disorganized, sometimes you'd get lured, sometimes you'd leave the building, have to come back in the building because they've forgotten to get you to say one word. And so then you got two fees. So like my agent was very, you know, very important. He basically just get out there as quickly as he can because they will need pickups and you will get another fee. So it was stuff like that really. But the people who get the real money are the ones who do the voiceovers for adverts, which I didn't get any really. The only one I really got was football manager and a couple of other things but you'd get a fee for the actual performance but then you get your buyout

as well, it's like an acting job, they're allowed to use your audio for two years, three years, five years. It'll all be AI soon won't it? It'll all be AI soon and if it's used just on the internet you get a certain amount of fee, if it's used on television you get a certain amount of fee, if it's on radio, so like all that sort of stuff kind of makes it a worthwhile career. I'll tell you who used to get... Not something that I could manage.

I'll tell you who used to get a lot of them. Joanna Lumley and Brian Blessed both used to get a lot of them. Yeah, because I mean like honestly just have a bit of a career in the... I mean obviously Blessed and Lumley. I mean has Blessed had that much of a... I just remember when I used to hang out with Phil and Chris up in the capital. Good lads. Bless him would always be in there.

Yeah, I don't know what he was the voice for, but yeah, they'd always pull him in for a giggle. But yeah, those kinds of jobs are the kind of ones that you want where it's just, it's a brand. You're like a brand ambassador for something. I had a dream would to be getting like a fucking Just Eat or something, oh, lovely. Yeah.

Beautiful. I think Ben wrote a Sainsbury's ad, a song for a Sainsbury's ad. I'll tell you who made a load of money doing that stuff, Justin Hawkins from The Darkness. Yeah, in between his, yeah. I think he might have written the X Factor theme as well. Yeah, I think he did.

I think he did a lot of writing with the X Factor people as well, the people who won, people who sort of... You can tell he's got money because of the way he's kind of spruced himself up. He's got lovely teeth now and nice hair. Obviously. Yeah, but again, they're the dreams of the working class person as well. They're like, nice teeth and hair transplants.

That's within all of our grasps, one would suggest. You don't need money for that anymore. Well, thankfully I don't need a hair transplant as yet. I was just going to say that on Fight and Talk, which I did a couple of times, it's the fee is 250 quid, which I know sounds like a lot for like an hour's work, but it is national live radio. And two, it's a lot of prep. You have to go for a meet in, a phone call, do a load of prep to make sure you get everything ready to go.

And you have to also be quite quick off the mark. Like you can't just be a passenger on it. So I think everyone gets paid the same. I guess it's a BBC thing. And then when I did Talk Sport, I started out doing breakfast show, newspaper roundups, which was like brutal because the car would come for you at like five in the morning. You got a car which is good, but that's literally because you couldn't

fucking get the tube at that point. Yeah. And you got paid 50 quid. Yeah. That's 430 in the morning start. But then by the time I got to the point where I was doing... It's a brand builder, man. It's a brand builder. Yeah. No one fucking cares about that. But by the time I got up to doing my own show I was getting 450 an episode. Fucking hell! Yeah, it's pretty good. I did 200 quid, fucking absolute. Disgracefully small amounts of money.

Yeah but absolute is a piece of piss compared to talk sport. You play fucking musical. I remember you used to go and have a shower. You'd put a fucking musical and go have a shower. Fine. Well look, I think people want a DJ to be clean. They want to know that their killer's records are being played by someone who is not stinking. So I think-

You were supposed to get paid more than that, but you've got some big fines for breaking the no repeat guarantee all the time. I don't think that's an off-comer law. That's the problem. I don't think it's an off-comer law. Peter, we were told by producer Taylor that we've got to get through some emails. So should we take a quick break, come back and then get through some of them? Because there are actually some really good ones in there.

You know what? Oh, before we do that, before we do that, let me just tell you a very quick story about Fight and Talk. Because it's presented by Rick Edwards for those people who don't know the show. And if you haven't heard it, you can get it as a podcast. It's basically like a kind of competition version of the Rambo, I guess, but with different sports. Right? It's inexplicably more aggressive. Yeah, but it's the same tone, isn't it? Is what I'm saying. And Ricky Edwards presents

it and he's a friend. I actually know Rick for a UPE, but he's a friend of both of us. And he called me up when he got the job doing it off the back of Colin Murray and said, look, will you come and do it? Because I want to freshen up a bit. I was like, yeah, I'll happily do it. So they've asked me on and I've done it a couple of times. Anyway, last Saturday I was doing it. The other guests were a lady called Holly Hamilton. It was like a daytime TV. She was brilliant and she's lovely as well. She was great. A journalist called Martin Kelner who's, do you know the Kelner family? Do I know? I think I do. So Simon Kellner is his brother who's like a quite a well-respected,

I think he's a journalist. I'll tell you how you'd know them. So do you remember a couple of weeks ago, Marjorie Taylor Green, that fucking awful American politician, she went viral for really, like basically personally abusing that British reporter. Right, yes, okay. You see that clip? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that reporter was Martha Kellner, who is the DC correspondent, I think for Sky News,

and she is Martin's daughter. So the whole family are like a journalist broadcasted family. He was on it. And the other guy was Bob Mills. You know Bob? Yes, Bob Mills, big guy. Yeah. He was fucking outstanding. He was on it. And the other guy was Bob Mills. You know Bob? Yes, Bob Mills, big guy. Yeah, he was fucking outstanding. He was so good. In Bed, With Me Dinner.

Yeah, legend. Legend of the night he's broadcasting. When Charlefour came along and all those kind of quite chaotic kind of comedian type presenters were doing their thing, he was one of them, right? Anyway, so I've worked with Bob before and it was on Talk Sport and he is an older guy and he's obviously, you know, he'd been busy or whatever. And I noticed that when we were doing the show once, he was fucking nodding off, right? Which obviously not ideal. Just a really relaxed studio guest. Yeah. And it's probably June White's monologues or whatever, so it's totally understandable.

But anyway, he was nodding off and I fucking made the mistake of saying to Rick, who's the fucking biggest wind up merchant in the world and will not let anything go, that I've worked with Bob before and he fucking fell asleep. And Rick opened fighting talk by saying that and getting me to tell the story of Bob on the radio while Bob was there. Love it. And it was so awkward. Got so awkward. I felt so bad. I don't mind taking the piss out of someone, but it felt like I was saying he was unprofessional,

which I wasn't. He was always really good. He was bludgeoning someone with your hammer. That seems unfair. Essentially, yeah. And then Bob just proceeded to completely wipe the floor with me for the next hour. Which is understandable and I expected it and I deserved it. Little slip-sync ships. Your ship. Your ship's on. I was literally pleading with Rick, Rick, please don't say anything. Please don't say anything.

And Rick had put a whole package of it. If I would say please don't say anything, good God. If you had said to me, if you had said to me, this thing happened but it's awkward and it's, you know, I don't want to talk about it, I would think about it for a bit and then do it anyway. So I totally get it. I deserved it. I'm not complaining about it. I'm just saying it was like a funny thing that happened. What happens with fighting talk is they, the whole point of it is like some rounds you steal points from other people and all the rest of it. And like Bob was obviously stealing all my points. I can't last again for the second time in a row. Bob won. So Bob wins in this whole fucking scenario and he was fucking miles better than me anyway but it was just a kind of quite difficult situation.

Big fan of that. All right, we'll be back in a second. It's the Luke and Pete show. Welcome back, Pete, Luke. We're doing our thing. Should we do some emails there, Luke? Because if you're not really sort of touching them, we've got some absolute stonkers in here. Yeah. Do you want to go first or do you want me to go first? You've probably read them in advance, have you? So do you want me to go first?

I'll react to them live, baby. Yeah. Okay, cool. This is from Kimberly. Hello to you, Kimberly. Now, Kimberly's in the USA, they say. Is Kimberly a boy's name as well in the USA? Yes, I think so, yeah.

Yeah, so we don't know if it's a boy or a girl. Oh, it doesn't matter. Hello to you, Kimberly. Kimberly says, I'm curious to know both of your stances on the proper etiquette for the eating of sunflower seeds. I was recently watching a favourite YouTube channel of mine, which is based in the UK, and they were discussing how it is standard in Britain to chew the entire sunflower seed shell and all, when

eating them. I grew up in the southern US eating sunflower seeds often and we always peeled the seed in our mouths and spit out the shell, consuming only the kernel inside. That's what they do in Spain as well, for sure. Scrolling through the comments on the video I saw people from Turkey, Eastern Europe, New Zealand and China all saying they were shocked at the idea of eating the entire seed seed shell and all. The only person who agreed with the shell on method was Canadian. Do those YouTubers have it right about the seed eating habits of the UK? Surely whole shells can't be good to digest. Inquiring minds want to know, send in much love and some serious apologies to the world for the state of our nation, Kimberley in the US."

Now, I have never heard of people... I don't eat a lot of sunflower seeds, I'll be honest with you, but I've never heard of anyone eating the shell as well. I love eating sunflower seeds, one of my favourite things to eat, and I hang out with a lot of people who also eat sunflower seeds, and they all eat it with the shells on they crunch down the shells and do you do that and and and if I happen to hang out with a lot of pigeons that's my business they're all pigeons no human in the UK or otherwise should be or even does chew the entirety of a sunflower. They are dry, they are sharp, they are brittle, they're not nice on the mouth. What are these people doing? Kimberly, you need to stop watching Sorted Foods. May I recommend the Football Ramble YouTube? A prawn in Japan?

Keith Cooke's. Keith Cooke's. Keith Cooke's. The man who fixes cars on people's driveways or in public streets over a day. Like, Kimberly, you need to be watching some better stuff because that is insanity. Do you know, I've never heard of it. One of my favourite loaves of bread is the Hovis Seed Sensation loaf. You had that? It's the only brown bread we have in our house house to be honest. It's the one I always grab for.

It's a great loaf. There's sunflower seeds on that. There's no shells. Right. No. I mean why would there be? Because that's mental. That is mental. Do you know what YouTube channel I watch a lot of now? It's like military historians. There we go. This is where we end up. Come on. Lovely. It's like military historians covering the historical accuracy of famous battle scenes in movies. It's good stuff. People are going, that wouldn't happen. Yeah, because war's brutal and boring. It's boring, boring, boring. Then it's incredibly brutal, then it's boring again. That's what war is. Boring boring boring, your mates head gets blown off, boring boring boring boring, and you have so much downtime, you can deal or not deal with your mates heads

flying off. You know, that's what war is. It is horrible. And boring. And horrible. What war were you in? What? All of them. What war were you in? Oh I've been in some wars son. I've been in some wars. I tell you what, speaking of wars. When did you get that Royal Navy voiceover job then? Speaking of wars, on the holidays, when we get a little bit of time to ourselves after baby and other stuff has gone to bed, we'd have a beer, play some cards. That's something that me and Sarah have always done on holiday. Love that. Love a bit of down time, love a bit of cards. Sarah went, oh I forgot to get some cards. I was like, Sarah, don't worry. You definitely want to tell this story, I know what you're going to say.

Don't worry Sarah, I've brought some cards and they came free with a special edition of a video game. And I start, so we go, brilliant, all right, we've got beer at hand, sat down, lovely evening across the sol, looking across the water and I start sort of giving out these cards, seven a piece, and they don't feel like the cardiest cards. It feels like some amateurs kind of went, I'll just make these out of normal card. They don't feel like waxy. They don't feel like they've got the proper finishing. You can show the distinctive feel of a proper playing card. Anyway, we were playing King of Diamonds or whatever Literally like it is so this is from a video game called sniper elite 5. It was a special edition. I believe

I got sent it and it came with a free packet of playing cards. And you know how like snipers You know like in films. There's a romantic vision of like when when Men and women go to war, they get given some playing cards that have the top people you want to be aiming for effectively. This is the top ten murderous dictators that they're going for. This is a really long-winded way of saying that your playing cards had loads of Nazis on them.

I was concerned that when you were sitting in your holiday hotel room, whatever it was, or on the terrace, or even somewhere public, heaven forbid, looking like you do, playing cards with some playing cards like Adolf Hitler on them, I wondered if you were going to be able to stay in the hotel. Well, I mean, the whole kind of like makeup of that set up was like Scottish people, people from the North East inexplicably, and almost exclusively Germans. The Germans love a bit of Spain, don't they? That kind of part of the world. And I'm just fucking, and we're just playing cards and one of them's just got Hitler on it. And without context, that just looks like you're a Hitler fan here.

Mason- I think with context it's even still, just to have heard you try to explain it then and provide some context, it's still quite poor. Mason- Didn't need Rommel. We didn't need the African one. We didn't need him. We didn't need him getting involved to be honest. But there were like the allies as well. A few kind of to emerge out of it with any credit. I mean, he at least tried to kill Hitler. Yeah, exactly. And he refused to be a member of the Nazi Party, as far as I know.

But the, but the, but it wasn't all kind of, it wasn't some of that disputed. All the length of Rommel's kind of, I'm pretty sure he refused to be a member of the Nazi party. I'm pretty sure he tried to kill Hitler. Oh, he definitely tried to kill Hitler. Wasn't he executed for it? Yes, yeah. I'm freestyling now, but I think that's the case. He got a state funeral, not in Berlin.

He got a state funeral because he refused, he got given a cyanide pulse. I believe he was only the only, just for, I'm freestyling here and I'm really going out on a limb here, but I think I'm right in saying that he was the only German general to be mentioned to dispatches in the House of Commons. Right, okay. Because I think there was some respect for him there. But the only reason I know that is because I spent a lot of time, as I just said, watching those videos. Watching those videos.

Well, because you know, you know, Tom Holland does the rest of his history. His brother is a guy called James Holland, who is a World War II historian. And so he does a lot of stuff. So that's why. Anyway, look, we're good. We're still doing emails. I'm not going to let you think around me anymore. What about this one from Dave, Pilot Dave in fact, nice to hear from you again Pilot Dave. He says, this is a response to the other listener. We had querying jet two selling food to lighten the load. Pilot Dave says, this is absolute bollocks. That's not the reason they would have been doing it. However, I admire the cabin crews initiative on that jet two flight because cabin crew get commissioned on product sales and therefore it's in their

interest to stay as much as they can. That's basically, we got to the bottom of that mystery. I was in a jet two flight not a long ago and there was and I bought two tapas boxes. You're lining their pockets. Lining their pockets. Lining a little boy with... They probably should be paid more than they are paid though to do that job so fair enough. Yeah good point actually. I mean like... You could probably say about any job in the UK in 2025 though. I don't know what you get for jet two. Jet two feels more family oriented rather than, but I mean, you're easy jet is where the proper booze has gone in it. Yeah, that's fair. And part of Dave ends the email by saying on the note of vitamins, I too had a folic acid deficiency and therefore was now part of my vitamin intake. My wife took great pleasure in taking the piss out of me

as this is normally associated with pregnant women. That's true. I actually bought some more folic acid, AK vitamin B9, literally at the weekend and I had to get someone in the supermarket to show me where it was and it was in the pregnancy section. Yeah. It's hardening to know that even professional pilots can also be masculated and I for one stand for... And deficient in folic acid. And deficient in folic acid. Let's just do one more before we go.

This is from Andy. He says, Hi guys, my in-laws have a thatched cottage in Devon. I bet they'd never shut up about it. Talking about their thatch. I bet they try and weave it. It's like the people who never have a, who never watched TV when they were kids. They'll sort of weave, they try and weave in

conversations about the television. So they say that they never watch telly. Yeah, Alan Partridge is a great line that doesn't he? If you heard the Alan Partridge line where he's interviewing someone, this is a classic Partridge line, which really like cuts to the quick of it. Where he's interviewing

some middle class, I think some middle class woman or man and the TV comes up and the kind of semi posh person says, oh, you know, I don't actually watch much TV. And Alan Partridge says, oh yeah, I say that sometimes. But I bet they just constantly sort of go, what kind of roof have you got? It's interesting what we were saying earlier about thatching, thatched roofs, wasn't it? Because I've got one in my cottage in Devon. Anyway, sorry if it's like a notchy real laws, Andy. You might be glad she's dead, but I'll tell you what thatcher you would like on your roof.

What? Shut up. Shut up. Sorry, what side is that? It's a Stouffer Press? Is that a Thatcher's side? Well actually... Band straws have they? I tell you what kind of straw doesn't fall to bits when you put your mouth on it. Why are you putting your mouth on your roof? Shut up! This is not a pub. Nice, nice. Anyway, I did mention the idea of, we were talking about thatched roofs, weren't we? And talking about lots of different stuff and asking questions about it. So Andy's

kindly, I mean, he's been greeted by an absolute volley of abuse there, but he's kindly answered some of our questions. And he said, you know, thatching is a good insulator as it traps small pockets of air in the thatching, which then heat up quicker than say solid walls, which helps for insulation. It needs replacing every eight to 10 years, depending on how bad the rain gets or if there's birds nesting in it. It's as many thatched cottages I've seen in Devon have bird scarecrows on the roof. Unfortunately, the Thatcher in the area is in his 50s and said this will be his last time doing it as he'll be retiring. He's not found an apprentice to take on the trade despite government grants as the economy is seasonal and is probably dull for a young man or woman out of season. It does pay well though. The apprentice would start on 30k and move up quite quickly to 55,000 a year.

So actually in that part of the world that's not a terrible salary for being outside all the time and doing your thing. It's quite a quaint job as well. And also you probably have to take your own lunch as well so you're not paying Pret A Monge prices if you're up on the roof. You've got to be eating your own dinner. Do you know how many Pret A Mangers there are in London? I read this literally this morning I'm surprised. I'm gonna go for 200. 274 a lot isn't it? That is a lot. Look listen Andy if this stature is getting he's been able to retire in his 50s and he's obviously done quite well. Not a luxury many of us will enjoy. No, no. Anyway. I mean, do you not think that like, do you not think that like it's a bit rich sort of

complaining about birds in your roof if you've got a thatched cottage? Because I mean, it's literally, you know, it's their house, isn't it? You know, it's their house. Yeah, you're taking over. You're moving into their territory now. Yeah, exactly. That doesn't seem fair to me. Like, how dare you sit in a thing that looks like your house? It's like taking your kids into a pub and complaining about the locals. Yeah, don't worry. Don't take your kids into a pub. That's their territory, not yours.

You're obsessed with bad parenting this week. I don't think anyone should be able... There's an exception to this, which is that you do get family pubs, which are basically restaurants slash pubs. But I think a proper pub, you should not be allowed your kids in there beyond like five o'clock. Right. Fair. Yeah. Oh yeah. They go into the work in Mansville. They want to have a, they want to have a drink and they should have a bit of peace and quiet. It's a third space for them. They've earned that. Where do you stand on dogs? Hmm. Most dogs in pubs are fine. Aren't they very well behaved. Sit at the foot of the owner and just let them sup. Little bowl of water down there. I've got no problem with dogs

in the pub. Lovely. Lovely. A lovely scene that Luke is creating there before us. Right, we'll be back on Homonday. And if you'd like to get in touch with us, get battery brands and stuff in. Actually, we're back on Thursday, I'm trying to have some nonsense there. HelloLukePeatshaw.com, you can tell Luke's slowing up a bit because he didn't point out my mistake. Have a lovely... I was reading something else, I've checked out of this episode.

I've got what was next. He's watching historical inaccuracies on YouTube. I've got better brothers to watch. Bye bye. The Luke and Pete show is a stack production and part of the A-Cast Creator Network. Hello, I'm Robin Ince. And I'm Brian Cox. And we would like to tell you about the new series of The Infinite Monkey Cage. We're going to have a planet off. Jupiter versus Saturn!

Well it's very well done that because in the script it does say wrestling voice. After all of that it's going to kind of chill out a bit and talk about ice. And also in this series we're discussing history of music recording with Brian Eno and looking at nature's shapes. So listen wherever you get your podcasts.