The Luke and Pete Show - Swimming inside a whale

Episode Date: May 14, 2020

Today’s episode begins with some admiration for legendary musician Florian Schneider who sadly passed away last week.Elsewhere, Pete’s dreaming of building a soundless room, and he introduces us to the wonders of the YouTube channel ‘Look Mum No Computer’.Plus, there’s some art critiquing, as we look back on the glory days of drawyourdad.com, and one of the listeners has found an Italia 90 t-shirt which has been stuck in the darkest depths of his childhood bedroom for thirty years.All that, and The Sopranos as well. What more could you possibly want?Keep the emails coming to [e-mail]! ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or your preferred podcast provider. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Peloton all-access membership separate. Learn more at onepeloton.ca slash running. It's the Luke and Pete Show. It is a Thursday. I do hope you're faring well. We're recording this on a Monday, so God knows what's going to be happening by the time Thursday's come around. We may be back in quarantine.

We may be running free in the wheat fields of our lives. I just don't know, Luke. I just don't know. How are you doing, man? Good, yeah. I'm very well, thank you, mate. And I hope you are well as well. What would you describe as the wheat field of your life?

Probably the bubble tea shop around the corner. Do you run through it naked? I run through it naked. Well, it just provides me with a little bit of freedom, I think. I just think, you've uh things are back on their their feet i can buy bubble tea again and everything's fine with the world not the one down the road that's been open right through quarantine i don't enjoy their bubble tea but the other one there's a lot more options cream cheese bubble tea for example what even is that

delicious is what it is it shouldn't work but it does i just i'm probably gonna have to divert from you there i don't i just can't i just can't see how that's working um what's been going on pete what have you been up to what one thing i should say actually before you answer that is i know i we spoke quite a lot about little richard sad passing on monday completely forgot to mention florian schneider co-founder of craftwork passed away as well uh very sad amazing influence on on loads and loads of pop music that can still be heard all the time today so condolences to to his family and friends as well i'll have to concede i'm not as well versed if that's the right phrase on that type of music but i do like what i've heard and

uh yeah very very sad to see that too because he was a proper pioneer, that guy as well, alongside Little Richard, but in a completely different way. To produce the kind of sounds that he made at a time, well, in the age of analogue, I mean, we could create the same sort of stuff nowadays in, like, five minutes in fucking Pro Tools or whatever, but, like, to be doing it with wires and valves and...

That's amazing it just makes me really happy to think of that just just working on a fucking micro processing level like fucking soldering stuff and wiring stuff there's a guy on youtube i follow um look mom no computer and he basically makes these you will have seen him before he's a young lad he's young cockney lad and he uh can pick up any bit of kind of, you know, 80s tech and just wire it up and make these kind of incredible instruments. I don't know where his lockup is, but he's got this wonderful studio that's just full of wires

and just the air will be thick with the smell of soldering. And he makes these incredible musical creations. Like he wires up like 50 furbies together and makes them sing and game boys and old keyboards and he's just he's incredible there's a guy i used to really love i'm not sure if he's still doing his thing but there's a guy called david e sugar and he used to play this type of music called that he would call 8-bit rock and instead of using pedals he would use like game boys and handheld consoles and stuff yeah basically yeah and he and he would he had a game boy literally

soldered to his guitar and he would press the buttons on it to make difference it was wicked it was absolutely so innovative it's brilliant but but i read a really interesting story about um craftwork uh back in the day uh where they were so they were quite secretive quite um enigmatic uh florian schneider's got one of the most enigmatic or had one of the most enigmatic faces of any musical artist ever like he's always this mad far away look in his eye but anyway they would be very enigmatic and as a result because they were doing stuff that was so different and so interesting um and they had a very clear idea of what they wanted to achieve with it and they weren't really one to give interviews to the press

or anything like that and uh because as you've already mentioned pete they would do all this stuff and in an analog fashion make all these new sounds and do it in their own little lab studio as a group and they didn't want to have any other sounds polluting um the area so as a result they had disconnected uh audially at least all the phones so you could still be contacted you could still be contacted only at one time like yeah so they would give you a time and you would have to call them that exact time and they would pick up the receiver and if you were there you could talk to them and if they weren't you couldn't ever speak to them so i just love that idea it's really pretentious but it's also really funny and there's something really german and cool about it yeah but and also

for them being so kind of like future forward with with the the way that they produce music and but then eschewing the the the the trappings of being connected all the time i find that incredibly alluring and incredibly interesting. You know what I'd really like to do? I'd like to build one of those weird soundless rooms. You know, like, I don't know. I can't remember what they're used for. I'm sure they're used for something.

But, like, it's basically a room that is so well soundproofed, you can hear your own body making like the craziest noises because you never imagine like the most peaceful and quietest place on earth uh that you've ever been uh and you know or when you're asleep in your in your bed there's still noise happening there's still no rumbles and and high frequency and low frequency sounds happening all the time but these rooms completely take that out of the equation and you start to go slowly fucking insane wow because yes it's too quiet but so you you i mean forgive me if this sounds like um insensitive i don't mean it in an insensitive way but it would be like essentially being deaf uh do deaf people still i think maybe the vibrations do deaf people still, I think maybe the vibrations,

do deaf people still experience it? Still feel, yeah, okay, right, yeah. Or they interpret other things as being, as effectively replacing sound. I think it's even more different to that, but yeah, weird. It's just, oh, man. Going back to the Florian Schneider thing, David Bowie gave a really good interview with about

um craftwork once because obviously he loved them and he said that him and schneider used to go to dusseldorf we used to visit him in dusseldorf and they used to go out and eat and go out and have pastries together which i just find a really interesting thing and um i also love the idea that and i think i'm right in saying this uh i also love the idea that we think of craft work as being this quite um obviously it's electronic it's quite um not bleak because that's that sounds too harsh but it's quite kind of surgical isn't it quite clinical because it's so electronic and it's it's not if you would be forgiven for thinking that um that it's not as soulful as maybe some of the more traditional type music.

And I'm not saying I think that. I'm just saying a lot of people would level that at it. But as far as I'm aware, they always refer to it as folk music of the factories, which I think is a really cool way of putting it. Yeah. Because you sort of equate kind of anything that's, you know, even like the least programmed, the least sequenced, the least kind of quantized music is certainly like rock, for example. It's supposed to be this kind of really, I don't know, like honest form or even, you know, the folk music.

Anything recorded will have less in common with uh actual music than than what craftwork was were performing because we think of electronic music as being everything's programmed everything's kind of like tidied up and stuff like that but the way that they did it it really wasn't it was still a performance it was still some hard bloody work do you think and it's similar if you could draw you could draw a um a parallel with something like different types of art and what it is is that people react to different pieces of art or different styles of art in different ways so if you if you what if you look at like stuff that um Rothko did for example it's completely different to to obviously to you know re Impressionism or whatever

but it doesn't mean that just because what Cezanne did because it's so beautiful and it's all these pretty nature landscape stuff or what J.M.W. Turner did is so much more rich and rewarding because it's of all

these amazing landscapes and beautiful cloudy skies and stuff compared to someone like Rothko, which is just these blocks of colour, or Mondrian, which is just blocks of colour. It doesn't mean that one's more warm or more emotional than the other. It just means that they express themselves in different ways, right? And that's what this craftwork thing is to me.

That's the parallel I would draw anyway. But also, like, people sort of, you would sort of say, like, high art and kind of low- would sort of say like high art and kind of low end kind of like camp kitsch art. They don't inhabit the same space. But I think there's a lot more to be said for kitsch art. There's a lot more to be said for certain brands and certain kinds of kitsch and camp kind of like art

where an artist has tried to do something important and because of the human limitations inherent in everyone, he's fallen way short. He's had lofty ambitions and he's made something that looks a bit shit. And it was adopted for whatever reason, you know, by families in the 70s and you have the same kind of, you know, my nan and my auntie all had the same kind of like, you know,

weepy looking girl or Chinese kind of figurine. And it would be so camp and so kitsch nowadays. But like, you know, the artist kind of going for something really important. But because he or she is a bit shit, there's something way more beautiful for me than anyone who, you know, is just knocked out of the park with like an incredible representation that just takes everyone's breath breath away i think it's something wonderfully more honest about art that falls way short of that well it's really interesting because there was there was a i'm gonna get this wrong now because again i'm not really an art expert at all but there was there's

a gallery near me that showed something it might have been the forgive me if i'm wrong here but it might have been the norwegian painter harold solberg i think it might have been him where what had happened was exactly as you've described there he his paintings became um essentially just those up those paintings that you put up on you get 500 of them and you put them up in every hotel room that in the hotel you've bought but it it's just kind of cheap art. But I think there's been a major re-examining of him. If it is him, it might not be him, but if it is him, there's been a major re-examining of his work. And all of a sudden, for some reason, critics are now saying,

oh, my God, this work's actually really good. And as a result, he's getting these newfound fans and he's getting these new exhibitions and stuff happening in all these big galleries. And so it really does show you that the idea of whether something is good in quotes or not can be completely transient anyway right but speaking of art um what about drawyourdad.com pete give us the skinny on that that's that's been given another outing that's been given an outing about yeah about 10 years, I set up a website called drawyourdad.com, a chance for people to draw your dad.

Because, I mean, when do we find the time in this workaday world, this busy world, this nine-to-five world to draw our fathers? And I was looking for a completely unrelated file on an old hard drive and found this motherl load of all of these pictures that people sent me like 10, 11, 12 years ago. And I felt kind of a slight kind of a weight to a certain extent that they're just on a hard drive not being seen by anyone because drawyourdad.com doesn't exist.

It's gone. It mothballed. It went about 10 years ago. So I thought, well, you know what? I'll just set up a thread on Twitter and just bash them all out. And then they're there. My conscience is clear.

It took me a lot longer than I thought I was going to. It was so many tweets. And then also my friend did point out that it was Mother's Day in the US and quite disrespectful in many ways. When's International Dad's Day, eh? Yeah, fuck it. Peter, I should probably make it clear to our listeners

that when you've known Pete for a long time or you've worked with him for a good amount of time and you're, as a result, a member of certain WhatsApp groups with him, every so often you'll start getting bombarded with pictures that you would rather not see of yourself in the past. And it's because Pete's gone through one of his hard drives again. Yeah, always. Look, I'm a little bit of an, I'm a disordered archivist, but, you know, I'll always, I'll always dump the iPhone pictures. I always dump the camera pictures.

I always like to, it's lovely and it's weird. You take a picture and you sort of, you just don't think of these times that, you know, the night out we had in Kiev when we were at the... Euros. Well, the Euros and we're talking about that and it's like, Jesus, I forget all these kind of little kind of happenstances and, you know, nights and days that we've had and it's lovely. It is lovely. I'm enjoying the fact that I dispose of pictures quite readily,

and then two, three years later, I'm like, oh, I remember that day. Lovely. Yeah, I should do that. I've got 14,000 photos on my phone. Yeah, that's how they get you in it. iCloud. Oh, 2991. Fuck off.

Yeah, wankers. I mean, the thing is, what I would say to Apple is, and I don't need business advice from me, I understand that, but what I would say to Apple is I'll be much more inclined to pay £2.99, which for me isn't a huge amount of money, a month, if you could let me know exactly how the fuck it works. I have no idea how it fucking works. So why am I going to pay three quid for something?

I don't know. If it's something clear, that's much more important to me than a couple of quid because that would help me out a great deal. But I'm absolutely baffled by it and i think everyone they've got a they've got a kind of the thing that annoys me is like they leverage battery life and broadband availability wi-fi and your 3d 3g 4g connection 5g connection um watch out guys uh and they sort of like have to work within the confines of so many limitations that once you take a picture because

you use iCloud it takes quite a while for the computer inside your bloody iPhone to realize you've even taken the picture before you can do anything with it it's like because it's trying to upload it to the cloud so you don't lose it and all this bollocks I'm like Jesus Christ guys just give me a little SD card slot and I'll put them on there yeah i also don't i also don't really like the fact there's no sd card slot i don't like the fact that they've changed the headphone jack it pisses me off but i'm so deep into it now i feel like i'm part of um i'm actually just finished watching the sopranos i feel like i'm part of the uh part of the uh the mafia and i can't i'm so far and i can't get out again you can never leave leave. You can never leave. Have you seen The Sopranos, Pete?

I got up to season four. I know you're having a re-watch. Actually, in the lockdown, I've seen a lot of people kind of reappraising it and watching it again. It's just one of those kind of series that you can go back to. I know this is a big statement and whatever, but I genuinely think that James Gandolfini as Tony Soprano is the greatest acting performance I've ever seen I've never ever seen anything

like it ever it's so good it's so to the point to the point of where you don't really know obviously James Gandolfini is sadly no longer with us well who's that outside some scooter

guy because longer with us. Whoa, who's that outside? Some scooter guy. That's all you hear, isn't it? Because you don't see much of Gandolfini, by the way, of interviews. And as I said, he's sadly no longer with us, which is a real loss. But I watch interviews of James Gandolfini. It doesn't look right.

What do you mean? Well, he shouldn't be himself. He should be Tony. His speech is completely different in real life yeah but i mean those actors who sort of these actors who who have their kind of one defining role in their later years is such a kind of refreshing uh it's always really interesting it's like where's this guy fucking come from where's bloody you know the guy from breaking bad obviously he was in malcolm in the middle and a couple of other things but like oh jesus he said he said um totally surprised said when he had done it again james ganolfini said

that when when he i think it was when he received maybe his last emmy or won some kind of award he gave a couple of interviews around it or he made a speech obviously i can't remember which and he said that um he he got inside the character so much and it was so well written and so well observed that he felt like he was just, all he had to do was learn the words and just turn up. Yeah. But he wasn't even thinking about acting.

It was just, it was just, it was so, because obviously he'd done it for so many years across so many seasons, I suppose. He just sort of slipped into that comfortable old jumper, which I wonder if that's actually quite unsettling for an actor.

Because clearly, well, particularly when Tony Soprano is clearly, he's a sociopath, basically. Yeah. So imagine if you just flicked a switch and went into tony soprano crazy man i just always remember like the fact that i think is i don't know why but when the news reports that he died it's obviously very very tragic because he wasn't an old man um they just mentioned that he had like, I think he drank a couple of glasses of red wine and a lasagna. I'm fairly certain that's the case.

And it just made me sort of giggle a little bit. His final meal was like this very Italian-American kind of. He just had a lasagna and a couple of glasses of wine and then off you pop. Yeah, he sadly had a heart attack at the age of just 51. That's unlucky. One of the things that is absolutely obscene, by the way, is in the first season of The Sopranos, right? You're not going to like this.

The first season of The Sopranos, mate, I think he was younger than we are now. No, no, no, no. And he looks just very much like a dad quite an old dad as well it's crazy it's like when you

watch a bit of wrestling over on Wrestlemania there's a guy called Arn Anderson who I think he's in like the first and the second Wrestlemania he's the guy who

stabbed Sid Vicious in a hotel room what in real life or in the yeah yeah in real life yeah he nearly killed Sid Vicious why did he do that Pete

because they had a disagreement and then I think Sid Yeah, in real life, yeah, he nearly killed Sid Vicious. Why did he do that, Pete? Because they had a disagreement, and then I think Sid stabbed him a bit, and then it all got very serious. It was in Blackpool? They stabbed him a bit. It was in Manchester or Liverpool. Oh, right. And they were all stabbed up,

and the police visited them in hospital and went, you going on tomorrow then, lads? And they went, all right then. Oh, really? It's one of those, isn't it? They just took the fuck off. Get the fuck out. The British equivalent of driving someone to the county line.

Yeah. Don't come back here again. Get out. Yeah. But he was a guy who was, he's probably in the same age as Sid Vicious, to be honest, but he looked like a dad. He was a wrestler, but he was, he must have been,

he couldn't have been older than 40 uh but he just he just had one of those faces that just said dad back in the day they never used to have to be that muscly either did they no yeah yeah the the the changing sort of body but then but then like you sort of see like guys like i don't know the uh brothers clearly the funkasaurus um he was like a gigantic fat man, but he just never sort of stayed around very long in the WWE because obviously you had the bodies, and Vince McMahon is obsessed with muscles, and that's why everyone is so roided up,

or was so roided up, certainly. But going back to that kind of tipping point between like the 80s and the 90s where you still had these characters that were just big fat guys. Yokozuna died

trying to eat himself to death, I believe. And so it's like these very different physicalities. I remember that wrestler Pete, Bob Backlund, who was like a throwback

from like the 70s or the 80s or whatever. And he was like a normal bloke in a pair of trunks. Yeah. That's what I like about it though. Back in the day though, do you remember when like in the 80s where like and he gets like a normal bloke in a pair of trunks yeah it's just good that's what i like about it though back in the day though do you remember when like in the 80s where like there'd be people like big daddy or jeff capes and stuff where strong men were just men who ate

fucking five fried breakfasts in the morning you know what i mean like you just drank a lot of guinness yeah we were just like they were just blokes who could fucking eat a lot it was like and that was your and it wasn't just like cutting weight and it wasn't like fucking worrying about your fucking abs or stuff like that. It was just big, tall men who could fucking eat and eat and eat. Three dinners at a time. And that was like the test of being a strong man.

You were just a big, tall, fat bloke. And I enjoyed those years. Simpler times. Tearing a fucking phone booking off. Speaking of that, did you see that Haftor Bjornsson,

the guy who plays the mountain in Game of Thrones, he's obviously a strong man. He broke the deadlift world record last week. His fucking legs. In that clip,

his legs. Fuck me. Do you have any idea how much he deadlifted? No, I don't know where to go. He deadlifted 501 kilograms, right? Which is 1,100 pounds.

I think my... It's not deadlift, is it? So chest... I think the only things I used to work out was the chest. And it was like 150, like three times or something like that. It's just incredible.

I cannot imagine how you fucking lift that from the floor. My word. Yeah, it's incredible, isn't it? And listen, Pete, let's have a quick break. In that break, we'll think about what the most wicked deadlift is. And then when we come back, we'll do some emails. Might have been pounds, actually. Fuck.

back we'll do some emails might have been pounds actually fuck we could call it Peter Mark's colossal tassel but we didn't we called it wrestle me wrestle me Mark a celebration of

all things WrestleMania and beyond and you may be thinking I'm not really into wrestling well don't worry there's something for everyone to be honest it's mainly about stuff like this so hang on easy lover was the original theme on And you may be thinking, I'm not really into wrestling. Well, don't worry. There's something for everyone. To be honest, it's mainly about stuff like this.

So hang on, Easy Lover was the original theme on WrestleMania. It was. Someone heard it on the radio and went, that sums up everything about WrestleMania to me. And this. You can really see the old back acne on test. Yes. And this.

Is it worth reminding people of what earthquake John Tenter looked like at 23 years old? Yeah, I think so. And this. Is it worth reminding people of what earthquake John Tenter looked like at 23 years old? Yeah, I think so. And this. For the record, Marty has made it very clear, and I agree and believe him, that he has never, A, had sex with his daughter, or B, wanted to have sex with his daughter. And the people behind the face paint doing the most unique job in the entire world. Get it wherever you get your podcasts. That's Wrestle Me. Wrestle Me, Mark. Wrestle Me, Pete.

And we're back. It's the Luke and Pete show. I'm not going to get into Schrodinger's advert, whether you heard one or whether you didn't. We love you very much. Might have been an advert for another one of the Stakhanov shows. Hello, Luke and Pete show, though, for the emails. Yeah, if you did get an advert for another Stakato show go and listen to it we only make good ones

we take ages thinking about the ones to make and whether we should make them or not and so go at least you can do is go and listen to them um i've got a tweet here at luke and pete show from leanne uh she says i need a ruling is the post lawn mowing shower beer the same as the regular shower beer or are they different and if so which is superior so the post lawn mowing shower beer the same as the regular shower beer or are they different and if so which is superior so the post lawn mowing beer and the shower beer are two separate beers and that one's there has been amalgamated which is perfectly acceptable um i would say that is a superior beer because you've done the lawn mowing, presumably in the sun, you've got hot and sweaty, you've earned a beer and you've earned a shower.

You've combined both those things. Mind blown is my response to that, Leanne. Yeah, I mean, and depending on what footwear you're wearing, you're in the shower, you can smell the cut grass on your body and your person and you're just slamming a beer back. I wish I could. I might go and buy a little strimmer and go attack the churchyard behind me and get an award myself with a shower beer. You've not been a fan of a shower beer in the past, though? No.

The only times I've ever done it or ever continue to do it is weekends away with lads where we're just trying to just get back on it. And it's just an efficiency time sort of. Yeah, no, fair enough. I know what you mean. For me, it's like if I crack open a beer when I'm getting ready and I think to go out, back in the day when I did used to go out, and that's not to do with a lockdown, that's just because I'm old.

And you go, oh, yeah, I need to have a shower. Take the beer in there with you. No problem. I've seen a picture of someone who's got a beer fridge built into the bathroom wall next to the shower. That is commitment to the shower bill, shower bill. Hello, Luke and Pete show. You're going to get rot.

It's going to be rot. You're going to get, like, rot in the, you know, like the little sealant between the fridge and the thing. It's too wet. I know where you're coming from. Dylan's been in touch. He says, hello, Luke and Pete. I just thought I'd say that I'm really glad that all your podcasts

are keeping going throughout the lockdown because they're keeping me sane. Well, you're very welcome, Dylan. Thanks for listening. Last month, says Dylan. We've gone the other way. Say again, you've gone the other way, have you? Yeah, we've gone the other way. Yeah, we probably have actually, yeah.

Last month I was sitting at my desk at work and I got up to make myself a cup of tea, but. Last month I was sitting at my desk at work and I got up to make myself a cup of tea. But as soon as I stood up, I had a shooting pain all through the right side of my body, the worst pain I've ever felt. I went to the bathroom and checked it out, and sure enough, it was my right testicle. Oh, no.

I know. So after much deliberation and not going away for half an hour, I decided to tell my boss that I needed to go to the hospital. When I got to A&E, I was seen as an emergency. And within the hour, I was speaking to a surgeon that said my ball was twisted and she'd have to perform emergency surgery, cutting my balls open and rearranging them.

The surgeon told me that had I waited a couple of hours longer, it could have been a lot worse. The whole experience was not ideal by any means, but I wanted to point out this sort of thing can happen to any man as a 19 year old I always sort of thought this sort of thing wouldn't happen to me because I'm young and healthy but here we are uh safe to say it was not my um it was not an elaborate ploy to get my balls touch as some of my mates accused me of um so so Dylan thanks for sharing the story I should say um it's a very very humorous account

but an important one so people men listening do check your balls regularly it's a really important part of it not just for that reason but for many other reasons as well I sort of think about

when I get older and I'm going to need one of those seats in the shower if I want a shower I've seen some designs that kind of have like slats

get a beer fridge built in beer fridge but i worry about the slats and as you get older your testicles descend and i would hate to um let them fall through the hole uh pull up quickly and find myself still attached to the chair while screaming that is i've heard stories i've read stories in the paper about people doing that on deck chairs oh yeah exactly that's mean, not nice. That's a pulling and a bruising and ripping and a tearing. No, that's not good.

Pete, there was a guy at my university, I can't quite remember who it was, but he was no doubt part of the rugby team, whose party trick was that he could dangle his balls in a pint glass and the balls would hit the bottom of the glass. That's problematic. Get him sewn up. Yeah.

Because that's mad. Like, yeah, that's not right. He needs to see someone about that. I remember at the time thinking, I'm not quite sure who you're trying to impress with this. That looks like a handbag. Yeah. Very, very weird, yeah.

What about this then from Lars who who says hi gents uh regarding things found during lockdown my mother found a t-shirt squeezed behind a drawer in a chest of drawers where she was remodeling my boyhood bedroom a few weeks back it's an italian 90 t-shirt that has been stuck back there for 30 years right seeing as three of the 10 picture flags didn't even compete in the tournament, I'm fairly certain it isn't even an officially sanctioned FIFA merch. Hopefully it doesn't offend Gianni Infantino's ears.

Have a nice lockdown and thanks for the nonsense. But imagine that. Part of the reason I wanted to include that is because a t-shirt stuck in one place for 30 years. Yes, please. It would be rigid. Probably. Well, listen. It would be mothballed. Depends what he's been using it for. I won't go into any detail 30 years. Yes, please. It would be rigid. Probably. It would be mothballed.

Depends what he's been using it for. I won't go into any detail. I guess so, yeah. Yeah, exactly. Oh, that's fantastic. I mean, there's very few pieces of clothing, apart from like trousers and suits and stuff, like T-shirts and stuff. I've got T-shirts from when I was like 15

and I can still wear them because it's just, you know. I mean, it looks ridiculous, but you can technically still wear them, right? I mean, yeah, it looks ridiculous. It's like a belly top, but yeah, because you don't really change. But I find suits really go out of style very quickly. Yeah, but that's because you wear really odd cuts. Two toes, pants, what? You have yours cut quite short, so I think that is a fashion thing so and you also

have the trousers cut quite tight so i think i think that's something that's going to come and go in fashion terms whereas if you go for a classic fit then it's not as not as problematic so you mean my dream of being a dead deadlift powerlifter is uh you know i shouldn't really i've seen you burst out of trousers more than I've seen any other person do it. That is the truth. So make of that what you will. Have you read, Luke, somebody got in search. Who was it?

It was Flat Eric. I don't think that's actually that person's name. But apparently Eintracht Frankfurt's eagle mascot has been banned from the behind closed doors games when the Bundesliga returns next week. I don't know why I didn't include this in the ramble, but for some reason he went to the Luke and Pete show inbox. Yeah, Attila is the name of the eagle. And because of lockdown and because playing football

behind closed doors, this eagle has been denied. It's weekly run out or fly out and it misses all the people. So we've got a lonely, lonely eagle. Same as those lonely animals in the zoo last week, man. We need to do something about that. Yeah, the eels. Yeah, Pete, you need to take at least three or four animals

into your home so they don't get lonely. Which ones would you choose? I'd love to. Alpaca. No, in your home. You can't have an alpaca in your home. A tapir. Why not? I'm talking about ones that fit your flat. Well, it would have to

be a spider. It would have to be a penguin or a bloody... Could I call it as big as... I'm thinking insect house here. I love a hissing cockroach. Yeah. I told you I bought my mate a load of cockroaches, didn't I?

Or was it crickets? It was crickets, I think. Yeah, it was crazy. It's just cruelty. Yeah, I shouldn't have done it. I regret it. And I don't endorse other people doing the same. But if I had to get one, I've got a garden at least,

and maybe I could stretch to a penguin. Right, okay, yeah. But it's difficult otherwise. What's the biggest rodent? What are they called? Capybara. Capybara. They're big, though.

They'd be like a little dog. Yeah, they'd be like a little dog, though. They absolutely stink as well. Do they? I never got that close to the ones at the zoo. But, I mean, yeah, long-eared fox. Is that even an animal? Yeah, I think so.

It's a long-eared fox wait i looked i walked past it i walked past a cage or a an enclosure at twycross zoo once and saw a fox that had long ears so from you know from everywhere that that'll do but i'm just naming animals oh long neck get over here let me give you a hug it's like like that zookeeper in Mighty Boosh. Can't, doesn't know what any animals are. The big grey people. Right, anyway, let's get out of here, Pete. That's our time for this week. Let's go.

I was doing a pub quiz on Zoom when we met Alex and his Italian family and said one of the questions was what's the biggest mammals eye, what's the biggest eye in the animal kingdom eye? What's the biggest eye in the animal kingdom possible? It's the ostrich, isn't it? I think it's one of the big squids.

The great squid. Great squid? Oh, I thought you meant in comparison to the rest of its body, can't I? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, actually, just physical. And it really made me giggle that the Italian side of somebody said giraffe.

And I was thinking, they could be massive. They're just too far away. It's perspective, isn't it? Yeah, it's true. They could have the biggest eyes in the world. I think a blue whale's heart is the size of a small car. Brilliant. Could you legitimately sort of clamber through it?

I think a small child could swim through some of its veins. Yeah, I think so, yeah. And steal a golden blood vessel. Yeah, why would you want to be in there? I mean, that's the thing. What's going on? You're very, very bloody.

We spoke about aristocrats last week and why they would do everything. That's a fetish for half that is, yeah. I want to climb inside a massive whale's heart and just, you know,

jerk off or something. Anyway. A giant helicopter wearing underpants. Right, let's get out of here. That was the Luke and Pete show for this week. We'll be back on Monday. Have a lovely weekend.

Look after yourselves and each other, to quote Jerry Springer. And we'll see you next time. Say goodbye, Pete Donaldson. Goodbye, Pete Donaldson. And it's goodbye from me as well. this was a staccato production