The Luke and Pete Show - Taking a mouse on the tube

Episode Date: July 6, 2020

On today’s episode we discuss a wrestler who lost his eye, the art of grave digging, and the sad passing of American actor Carl Reiner. Also on the show, there's talk of Wetherspoons, old beers that have been sat in barrels since March and general pub antics. Luke’s also remembering some of his mouse trap woes, we hear an interesting fact about crisp expiry dates (well, sort of interesting) and then we open the email lines to you about annoying things that happen in films but not real life!Don't forget to get in touch with us at [e-mail]! Pete reads every single one of your emails!***Please rate and review us on Apple or wherever you get your podcasts. It means a lot and makes it easy for other people to find us. Thank you!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

it's the Luke and Pete show it's a Monday the 6th of July it's hot it's steamy I'm Pete Donaldson I'm joined by Mr. Luke Moore you alright mate hello yeah I'm alright you forgot my name periodically then didn't you I nearly called you Mark Haynes because I was recording Wrestle Me last night and I got a little bit confused how many other men do you talk to peter i know right uh inside and outside of a recording studio uh yeah it's yeah i'm in i'm in wrestling mode who fancy a wrestle oh i didn't send you a picture of um a man getting punched in the face big van vader you remember big van vader i do remember he died last year i believe um he was fighting um um a man called stan something or other uh in japan called Stan something or other in Japan and

Stan something or other. Stan Collymore? Stan Hanson. Stan Hanson. I want to say Stan Hanson, but he had a sort of cowboy gimmick, gimmick, I believe.

And he punched big van Vader in the face in Japan during a particularly violent match. And big van Vader's eye popped out of his socket. He kept wrestling. Oh my God. Every time I check in with Wrestle Me, which isn't as often as I'd like, but I'm very busy, obviously. Every time I check in, something like that is being talked about,

and it is disgusting. Look, that's the nice end of a wedge that's, you know, at the moment, UK wrestling is saturated with the accusations of some terrible misdemeanors. So to be honest, a man's eye popping out of his head, I'd rather talk about that than sexual misdemeanors, quite frankly. So yeah, we're... It's like that film Any Given Sunday.

Have you seen that? Does a man's eye pop out? I think I'm pretty sure I'm thinking about the right movie. Yeah, a man's eyeball kind of vacates its correct home. It shouldn't be there. And to be honest, once that's happened, I wouldn't continue wrestling, to be honest. I'd say, look, we've all had a lot of fun.

I wouldn't be able to say it in Japanese, but I'd say, look, can someone translate? We've all had a lot of fun. We've all had a great night. I might need to get this scene too, because my eyes popped out of my socket. You sound very calm for a man whose eyes left its socket well i'm big van vader i'm massive i could probably deal with a smaller surface area for the rest of his body so he shouldn't be as panicked well i think he sort of wore a mask for most of his uh career so

maybe that was just to keep his face from letting his eyes vacate his eye sockets. Well, he's the living embodiment of the old adage that it's all a great amount of fun until someone loses an eye. Loses an eye. So he didn't lose it. He knew exactly where it was. I can confirm this, says Big Van Vader. I remember there was like an old animated gif from back in the day of a woman on a TV show.

I don't think it was Jerry Springer. It was some kind of shocking sort of body shock tv show where she could sort of pop her eyes out of her so i remember that her eyelids was that not on tfi friday or something yeah i think everyone could like people i guess people could do this to a certain extent but these people can move their eyelids from like to behind their eyes it's only going to put strain on the bloody uh optic nerve isn't it? You don't need that in your life. Can I ask a question that you would almost certainly

not know the answer to, but I'll listen this way. If one's eye pops out of its socket and it's still dangling there on the optic nerve, would you be able to see from that viewpoint or does the moment that it pops out of its socket mean that that's it i reckon that it doesn't ever really pop out of its eye socket that far so you know your brain can probably because obviously the brain just interprets the imagery brought forth by the optic through the optic nerve so presumably you can see that but your brain just probably goes i don't know what's happening

here and probably um maybe shuts down or does something wild because obviously um the eyes do crazy stuff because people have like eyes that like go in other directions don't they people can still see pretty well when one eye is completely out of the picture like looking to the right or to the left so maybe um the brain just manages to fill in those holes. Yeah, have you ever had like, you must have had people in your life who have like eyes that just kind of, you know, drift. I don't have anyone in my life. Don't have anyone in your life with eyes.

Mr. Potato Head. That's my rider. My rider is that no one I become close to can have eyes. Yeah, yeah. So Big Bang Vader's back on the list. Oh, no, actually he's dead, isn't he? No, he's dead, yeah. He's probably got no eyes now.

I don't know. I don't know what goes first when it comes to decomposition. I went to a graveyard over the weekend. I had a stroll around. A lot of very new graves. A lot of very new graves. It's unnecessary. Well, it does happen. I know, but guys, I wasn't expecting so many new graves.

What were you expecting? I was expecting, like cemeteries for me are always overcrowded and all of the graves are from the 80s, if not earlier. But this one was like new graves only. I was not expecting the emotional weight, to be quite frank. How did it make you feel? It's just unbelievably sad and made me reassess, you know, spending hours doing podcasts every week.

The thing is, I mean, I know you fairly well, and I know that you probably just went out for a nice walk but if you are going to spend your time walking around the graveyard i mean you are literally surrounded by death so spooks yeah maybe you felt like it would be a kind of life-affirming experience you know i need to reaffirm myself and have a good time because we're not here forever but i mean i'm not i am going to draw the line if you don't mind, at you being surprised that there's a lot of dead people there. Yeah. Because I've got to go somewhere, mate.

I was dressed as zombie Michael Jackson, though. I always think you're dancing in formation. I always do feel like I will journey with you on this one for a little bit because I do feel like the idea of being buried six feet in a graveyard is quite old school. I mean, I've sadly been to my fair share of funerals and I think exclusively they've been cremations. I've never really seen it.

I've never done that thing where you stand outside and see a body lowered into the ground. I mean, that presumably still happens. Yeah, last one was me gran about 15 years ago. And she was lowered down, was she? Yeah, I've told this story before. It was 400, 600 quid for a person to dig a hole. Didn't dig it right.

She went in wonky. So there you go. But I mean, is that kind of common? I mean, with the greatest respect to your dear old nan, do people care about that? Because it's all going to be buried anyway. Well, she went in. It wasn't like the top of the coffin poking out was there yeah i mean it wasn't far off luke to be honest it was it was pretty it was a pretty poorly dug hole um i don't know whether

the rain had come but you know you've got your mechanical diggers and stuff there's not really much of an excuse you've got a thin little scooper just scoop away until it looks flat um unless my granddad was also buried wonky and then my grand going over the top it would have been upsetting to see um a skeleton of my granddad i don't i don't know i don't really know how it works the only the only kind of the generally like the only exposure i've ever had to grave diggers are the grave digger on the nintendo 64 game zel Zelda Ocarina of Time, who plays quite a prominent part,

and the hip-hop group The Gravediggers. I've never known anyone to be a... I mean, is it still a trade? Presumably it was a trade at one point. Well, I don't know. What were the Gravediggers? What kind of hip-hop did they do? Were they quite gangster and bling? As in, is that where they got their gold from? Is that where they got their rings like, is that where they got their gold from?

Is that where they got their rings from? Is that where they got their jewelry from? I think they were quite dark, yeah. But they're quite dark in terms of like, do you know what? Quite a sense of, I mean, I'm not overly familiar with them. I haven't listened to them for a very long time. I don't think they've been around for about 20 years.

Grave diggers with grave robbers. I think grave diggers just dig graves, don't they? Just doing a job, man. Grave robbers. Grave robbers, they do also dig graves, but after they reverse it all up. Grave digging is a part of grave. Every grave robber is a grave digger, but every grave digger isn't a grave robber. So you think that the grave digger, you know the grave robber,

could probably go straight quite easily because they do the hard work. Maybe they could be in cahoots. Maybe. I mean, that's how a lot of old school Victorian doctors used to get their bodies, isn't it? That is true. Yeah, that is true.

Speaking of death, did you hear about Carl Reiner, who died last month in 98? Legendary kind of comedy performer and actor. He did a lot of Mel Brooks stuff. He's in Ocean's Eleven.

Do you know who I'm talking about? Yeah, yeah. He quite interestingly tweeted like two days before his death or a few days before his death

and talked about how much he loved his wife and his children and it was genuinely Oh, mate, have you seen the story about how he died? It's the best death any of us can hope for, right? No. He had his favourite hot dog, which was called the Rhino Dog,

which was named after him, which is a nine-inch hot dog topped with mustard and sauerkraut uh with a side of baked beans and uh he apparently been in good spirits all day he spent time at his beverly hills home uh watching wheel of fortune and jeopardy with his friend mel brooks at 10 p.m he was walking out of his tv room with his housekeeper when he stumbled he didn't fall too hard he went out within three minutes and he didn't suffer now that is the only way that that's the best way that any of us could could could ask for really isn't it well i think it's a message that you need to just eat crap food all the time

just do what you want all the time because it could be your last day i always sort of see those sad videos where they did and they're bloody heartbreaking those those those videos where a dog's obviously going to be put down uh in the afternoon so they have a morning where they did it and they're bloody heartbreaking because those those videos where a dog's obviously going to be put down uh in the afternoon so they have a morning where they take them to the beach and feed them great food and you know do that every day do that every day and then you want and then i won't be sad about them just doing it on the last day oh i can't even think about you know what there are certain things where my mind will just not let me go not the very idea of taking one of my pets to be able to put down yeah i can't think about it i just i i just don't know what i would do i i the idea of what you just said there has made me so unbearably

sad i need to google something quickly like you know when you watch a horror film before you go to bed you think i need to watch an episode like the thick of it now to get this out of my mind i need to do that because I can't think about that. It's awful. It's the saddest thing ever. And I think, you know, people always complain about, um,

Oh, you know, well, everyone's so empathetic and sympathetic towards animals, but not to their fellow human beings. It's kind of like a hippie thing to say, but I think the reason for that is because rightly or wrongly, and yeah,

in many cases, probably wrongly human beings think of other human beings as in some way at least responsible for their own position, right? Whereas animals are seen as a lot more helpless and domesticated and cute and a dog can't work its own way out of poverty. I'm not trying to get into a political thing about other human beings, but generally speaking, cats and dogs and other domestic pets need looking after, and that's why we're so empathetic towards them the very idea of taking

the dog to the beach and giving it one of those dog ice creams you can get and having a great time because you've got to take it to essentially be killed is i can't i can't deal with it my brain just can't i can't process it are there any domesticated animals like uh um didn't the russians domesticate the fox back in the day did they would you would you would you love that yeah but yeah a long long time ago um would that um would you take a would you would you take it easier if it was a fox no or would it be now i just do you know what i think i think if i if i ever moved to the countryside which i will at some point and i'm gonna need to you know you know what? I think if I ever moved to the countryside, which I will at some point, and I'm going to need to kill an animal because it's in pain or something,

or like as Alan Partridge says, finish it off with a jack because I hit it with my car. I just don't... What I would say is before we had our cats, I lived in a different place and it had mice and the whole place had mice when I moved in. And obviously we had to kind of get rid of them somehow. And I just couldn't bring myself to kill them or to get anything that was cruel or whatever.

I mean, the only thing I could do, which is this absolutely pathetic thing, was like there was this trap where you put a bit of peanut butter at the end of it and the mouse goes in to get it and it flips up so the mouse can't get out again and the amount of time i would spend with the mouse in this little trap probably the same mouse every fucking time going down the end of the street and letting it out and coming back again and then i read on google about a year later that you have to take them about three miles away before they can find their way back and i thought i'm not taking a mouse on the tube. That's ridiculous. And so I'm terrible at that.

I can't do anything. I cannot bear it. I could probably go up to and include some kind of moderate-sized spider. Other than that, no. Butterfly? Certainly not. Carl Reiner.

Could you finish Carl Reiner off with a shovel? Probably not. Who, for the avoidance of any doubt whatsoever, if people who've zoned out of this show and started listening again, died of natural causes at the age of 98. I'll reserve my judgment for the post-mortem, please. Yeah, but it is an interesting discussion, chiefly because I also feel like human beings

should absolutely be in control of their own destiny, their own lives, and people who have very sad terminal illnesses and are in constant pain and they want to go to Dignitas and all those kind of places. I fully defend that. I'm just not very good with death generally. And it's going to be a problem at some point, isn't it? Let's be honest.

It is. I mean, you're definitely moving't it let's be honest it is i mean you're you're definitely moving towards it rather than away from it and i don't really have many uh ways of of reversing that to be quite frank um and i've tried quite frankly keep working out keep working out mate that's one for science about whether we could actually um whether we could actually um reverse the aging process yeah because it's essentially just it's just a decay of cells right so so we could maintain our cells somehow yeah but beyond the obviously the decline in in health of the brain through that dementia and all that kind of stuff is obviously a lot more complicated but in terms

of the human body um it's just a decline of cells. So you'd hope, because certain animals, and we talked about this last week, certain animals can obviously regenerate themselves. Certain organs in the human body can regenerate themselves as well. You think of the liver,

and I think possibly skin as well. So there's a precedent there. Can the other organs and muscles stop being so lazy? That's what I'm asking. Lazy brain. We've all got silly, lazy brains. God damn it. there can the other organs and muscles stop being so lazy that's what i'm asking lazy brain we've all got silly lazy brains god damn it um should we take a break and then come back with some emails at a a regular a strangely early time yeah and also we should probably be a little bit more upbeat as well because people aren't going to stick around that we carry on talking about death

probably probably not no death no death in the second half of the show. We can't make that decision, but we haven't read any emails yet. We'll be back in a second. Join me, Pete Donaldson, and Japan-based YouTuber Chris Broad every Wednesday as we offer the lowdown on what's happening

in one of the most unique and exciting countries in the world. The Abroad in Japan podcast is home to all things Japan, from things to do... So today we've come to you guys The Abroad in Japan podcast is home to all things Japan, from things to do... So today we've come to you guys with 12 places in Japan that nobody knows about. To the bizarre...

When I moved into my new apartment last year, the police guy came to my door, knocked on my door, I opened it, he was a policeman, and he said to me, in English, I am Japanese policeman. That's the best introduction you could possibly do as a Japanese policeman. To the downright filthy. And for those of you who don't know what a Tenga is,

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A Road in Japan is a Stakhanov production. And we're back. It's a Luke and Pete show. It is Monday the 6th of the 7th of the 20. I do hope you keep them well. I do hope you keep them safe as well. Obviously, over the weekend, a lot of revellers have been revelling,

having a beer. That's the only time you hear that word, isn't it, in the news? a lot of revelers have been reveling, having a beer. That's the only time you hear that word, isn't it, in the news? Reveling. Yeah. Revelers, New Year's Eve, I'd say. Irresponsible social drinkers, I think we got more of over the weekend. Who could have seen that coming? Who on earth could have seen that coming?

Oh, dear. i tell you what if if you gave me an empty pub with nigel farage in it or a covid uh petri dish that was old cotton street on saturday i would have taken old cotton street um every day of the week but presumably saturday ironically because nigel farage had actually flouted the quarantine having come back from the United States. So either way, the thing is though, Big Donny, is that I spent a portion of the weekend sat in my garden having a lovely drink. I had a nice time. I didn't get anyone else in danger. No.

I've been at Wetherspoons that morning. You'd have a skin fall to be fair. Did you see? I'll tell you what I did draw the line at. I don't want to be too judgmental about other people's behaviour. And, you know, aside from the fact that they might be putting other people in danger, which is a bad thing, you know, generally speaking, I'm not someone who likes to get involved that much

with other people's behaviour. Pete, you'll laugh at that, but I don't think I am. Anyway. Presumably anyone who's in that street, though, if you're in that street, you're putting yourself in danger. So everyone's just dangering each other up, aren't they, really? But one thing I would draw the line at is I saw a photo shared of someone saying, oh, I've been looking forward to this for ages

in Wetherspoons here for a lunch. And they had posted a picture of themselves in Wetherspoons having a steak and kidney had posted a picture of themselves in weatherspoons having a steak and kidney pudding with chips and peas it looked fucking miserable and they're having a they're having a pint of pepsi right having a pint of pepsi in anywhere why you you can do that anywhere and and and the pudding looked it looked very suet heavy that's all i'm saying it looked very brexit it looked brexit it looked dry and also very very greasy at the same time the weird thing uh i think somebody pointed out on twitter how come how come uh

britain i saw that plunder the plunder the the entire world for spice and yet their food looks like that yeah it was the tweet was uh great britain colonized the world for spices yet still eats like it's 1672 enjoyable it's not making the most of it is it it's just not making the most of it

it wasn't great it was it was I hate to think what Laura from Bergensted revisited over the weekend

out of lockdown in Wetherspoons we'll have to find out yeah she she I think you'll find the show is called Revisiting now, Peter, so that's embarrassing for you. Oh, sorry, yes.

I was thinking that Laura was from Berkhamstead, so that's why. So Berkhamstead, Laura from Revisited, that's what I should have said. Revisiting, you got it wrong again. Revisiting. She's crying out loud. She only eats Potato Smarties, waffles, and turkey dinosaurs. So you could probably get that with a spoon i presume i reckon so yeah that'll be the kids menu um we've got an email let's crack

straight in the emails i've got an email from daniel plenty of responses to i things that you find annoying in movies i think i know this was done on twitter a little bit but i think it's interesting to explore uh following on for your chat about annoying things in movies, or things you see in real life but you never see in the movies, mine would be horror movies and the lack of ability to turn on a bloody light. If you're at home and you hear a noise in another room, no matter how freaked out you are, you still turn on the lights in that room before looking about.

Now, in the movies they don't. It's easier to stumble around in the pitch black, apparently. I would say that if you're already in the pitch black, though, don't turn the light on because you're going to be confused about what's happening yeah because you might take a moment for your eyes to get used to the light exactly what would you do pete how would you what would you do if you were at home on your own and there's a home invasion you thought it was an intruder what would you do well i would keep the lights off just remember, you know more about the house than they do. And then I would go into my closet where I've got a hammer

and hammer myself to death to save them from doing it because I am what can only be described as a big scaredy cat. Yeah. I mean, that is interesting. Imagine that. I mean, the thing about that... Imagine how confused they'd be. Yeah, but the delicious irony of that

is that they would get busted for murder and no one would believe them. Exactly. Oh, so you're telling me he took himself into the wardrobe and he beat himself to death with a hammer? That doesn't sound very likely. No, exactly.

Oh, and they couldn't find the fingerprints. Well, you're still going to prison, mate. We've all seen the staircase. You've had the last laugh there. Exactly daniel shilling uh also goes on to say um spoilers uh one movie that doesn't use a time cut is aliens we spoke about aliens um was this oh yeah this is about this is about the idea that i said that we're in a movie like you you'll see like some kind of timer and it'll be on a minute and then like 15 minutes worth

of stuff happens in that minute and it's just it takes you out of the air takes you out of the conceit it's completely unrealistic and you stand up in the middle of an audience

to your fellow cinema goers shouting it's been ages it's been 10 minutes so that time was only set for 3 minutes unbelievable

I don't go to the audience there's a picture house right near me oh picture house I think they're owned by an audience aren't they aren't they owned by I don't go to the Odeon. There's a picture house right near me. Oh, a picture house. I think they're owned by Odeon, aren't they? Aren't they owned by some big guy? Probably. I don't think they pay their staff a London living wage either.

Correct. At the end, there's a lot of restaurants. I'm sure the restaurant industry coming out of COVID has been hit harder than most. A lot of restauranteurs coming out and going, we're now deciding to get rid of the tipping system or the discretionary or in many senses, the non-discretionary 12.5 addition to the fee that you pay at the end. They're getting rid of tips. Just say that.

Well, no, because it's a discretionary fee. It's not necessarily a tip if you have to remove it from the bill. It's not technically tipping, I would say. But they're basically going to be adding that money to the menu. Do that anyway and insist on no tipping because you're having a bit of a giggle because obviously the living wage or the wage that the people are getting through the money that the government are giving people under the system system over the past couple of months that only covers the money up to where tipping begins and that's obviously not enough to live on because that's how restaurant hotels make all their money so don't give it the big licks now you should have done this years ago

you absolute bells on the other hand i want to be paid more money just to watch films all day pathetic at the end of the movie Aliens when Ripley sets off the 15 minute self-destruct system it's actually 15 minutes of movie exactly until it explodes this was done on purpose by James Cameron so the audience was more drawn into the story and they weren't

complaining like Luke I think that would probably make me think that 15 minutes is longer do you not think? That's excellent they've done that, though. And that's the standard that I think everyone should aim for. But I understand how it probably isn't going to be possible. A good example of that, I think, would be in that film we had to watch on the Ramble Film Club, which was Final Score with Dave Bautista.

Right? Yes. Okay. I mean, the whole thing takes place during one football match and my goodness me a lot of stuff happens like you would never be able to feel that i mean it's a perfectly fine film it's like it's not it's not dreadful or anything it's a perfectly enjoyable blockbuster but i'm just using that as an example that they seem to pack a lot in for what is effectively 90 minutes. I mean, and it's a night match,

so they can't even blame water breaks for it. No, true. Or VAR decisions. And it was pre-VAR in the Champions League. Oh, the drinks break at the Portsmouth game on Friday. I mean, we're getting into ramble territory here, but just very quickly. The drinks break on the Pompey game on Friday,

which has been put into place, I know, for hygiene reasons because of water bottles and stuff, but it's also been put into place because teams are playing in July. In Portsmouth on Friday, it was 16 degrees and blowing a gale. I imagine they're asking for a cup of tea, let alone a drink of Lucozade or whatever. Can I have some hot Lucozade? Yeah.

Can I have some mulled Lucas-ade? Yeah, that'd be lovely. Listen, I've got another email here from Richard. He's emailed in. The email address is hello at lukeandpeachow.com. Do keep your emails coming in about whatever topic you like. This could serve as inspiration for you because with the greatest respect to Richard, who actually in the email itself acknowledges the fact that it's dull,

this kind of email has still made it in. So don't hide your light under a bushel if you're thinking of emailing in. Do email in. He says, hello at Luke and Pete. If that subject line isn't enough to draw you in and the subject line is a dull fact about crisps, I don't know whatever will be. I'd like to share some trivia with you

that I've shared with a lot of people over the last 10 years or so. And whenever I tell them it, I am struck by how fundamentally boring it is, yet it also raises eyebrows and piques interest in the receiver in just the way it did with me when I first heard it.

Here we go, Peter. Did you know the best before date on a packet of crisps is always on a Saturday? I only know this because I read this email and I was also very, very intrigued. Yes, it sounds dull, says Richard, but I guarantee as you read this,

there will be listeners reaching for a near bag of walkers or whatever their favourite crisp is to check the date and they'll find it does indeed always fall on a saturday i suppose it's likely that some contrary company will have a different system but today i have never had anybody prove it wrong if you want to know the reason it is this um in manufacturing sites production weeks begin on a sunday anything produced on that week will therefore have a best before date of the following Saturday. I hope you find this as weirdly interesting as I did.

I wonder if any listeners have a favorite dull piece of trivia. Thanks for keeping up with the podcast during the pandemic. Stay safe and take care, Richard. Now, listen, I don't think that final bit is true because I don't think they're going to be producing Chris with one week on them. I think it's going to be – Well, because what he says is,

production weeks begin on a Sunday. Anything produced in that week will therefore have a best-before date of the following Saturday. I think he means a year later or something. Because there's no way crisps in that packet don't last longer than a week. No. No, but yeah, but if it's got a two-year cycle

or a two-and-a-half a half year cycle or you know a year and a half i don't really know how long long crisp last but yeah it will still land on they still choose a saturday to be the end of the week effectively yeah so he said two two two two years from now two years plus the saturday so two years and a few days when it didn't wasn't there a big thing during lockdown that a lot of realising that beer will have been stored in the cellars of a lot of pubs and stuff? Didn't a lot of beer manufacturers just sort of go,

yeah, yeah, a lot of this lager's actually six months, you can have it six months later as well, so the best part of it isn't really... Can you imagine the stinking pints that people have been drinking over this weekend? I don't imagine Wetherspoons would be giving a shit. I'm sure, for legal reasons. that's a good point actually i wonder what did happen to all that beer because like the people will be three and a half four months sure the turnaround time's got to usually be a lot quicker than that i made some tempura batter

uh over the weekend and or rather um got some out of a packet uh and they said that you should add beer to it to make it more fluffy and I didn't have any beer in the house. So I've seen myself off there by drinking all the tisky in the home. Yeah, so I think tempura is best made with sparkling water, isn't it? Amazing. Very interesting. Yeah, it keeps it light. But Peter, you know, the idea of a Guinness, a pint of Guinness not being very good,

apparently the best Guinness is served in places where a lot of Guininness is drunk because it doesn't last very long it doesn't do very well in the barrel apparently right okay if it's been stuck in the barrel for the last three months i mean i don't imagine it has i imagine they've kind of updated it but if it has it's not going to taste very nice is it no i imagine i don't know because i've not been to a pub yet i've not been to a pub since february i don't think well can you imagine sort of people um have you not had a takeout? Have you not passed up and went,

oh, look at that, I'll have a takeout? Not really, because my lifestyle doesn't really, because I mean, this lockdown lifestyle I've got doesn't really lend itself to that, chiefly because if I go into the office or into talk sport, whatever it was, I would always drive anyway. And I'm not really really gonna have a beer on the go when i'm driving that's i mean you can't do that really um and secondly the pubs around

near me haven't been open for takeout really but so it's not really been necessary to be honest i could just have a beer at home couldn't i what's the point well i i think drinking out of a glass vessel it's weird isn't it i think think putting from a can a lager, and I do like my lager, into a glass is good, but not as good as one served in a pub. But at the moment, they're serving a lot of drinks in plastic glasses.

So why the fuck would you even go there? Yeah, Guinness would be the only reason I would. Apart from Guinness, I'd be interested in that. Other than that. But can you imagine people coming back at the pub and going, oh, this is disgusting because this really old beer. And going, I didn't need to be here.

I don't know why I was really, really looking forward to this. Imagine, because I will sometimes on an evening when I'm imbibing alcohol, I'll start with a drink and the drink will be not good or a drink that i don't like and i'm like why have i chosen this one this is terrible i just wanted like this has ruined my whole night because i know for a fact the first drop of alcohol is always the best drop of alcohol and i fuck my night fuck this i'm going home i heard um so my friend was telling me that um he was in his local pub on sunday i think and um think, and they'd spent a lot of money, apparently, as local,

on making sure the hygiene things and all the protocols were followed. But weirdly, about an hour after he got there, an inspector came in and checked. And they were chatting to the inspector, and the inspector said that he'd asked two pubs. This is in East London. He'd asked two pubs that day to close again. Really?

Because they weren't doing it. Yeah, and so I think from what I can make out, it is being checked. So I don't know if that's the same in central London or in whatever town people are listening to this in, but apparently in East London that was the case. I mean, if I was going to choose pubs to shut down, I mean, I wouldn't start with East London, to be honest.

Get the fuck out of here. They've gone back to the 60s. They're going to find the crazy. You're not allowed to... What about the people who sell fish? Is that allowed anymore? Fish and meat raffles? Meat raffles?

Oh, my God. I don't think you can have a meat raffle in a pub. No. Meat raffles is quite a big thing in Portsmouth, or always used to be. Well, I mean, you know, pirates, isn't it? Yeah, sure, it's because they're pirates. Yeah, someone to meet would be just booty

from people that dug out of the ground after following a map with a cross on it. Correct. All that stuff is very, very true. Let's chip off. We're back with more Luke and Pete show fun. If you want to get in touch with the show, Correct. All that stuff is very, very true. Let's chip off. Let's get out of here. We'll be back with more Luke and Pete Show fun. If you want to get in touch with the show,

hello at lukenpeatshow.com is the way to do that. I've been Pete Donaldson. Luke, who have you been? I've been Luke Moore and I still will be on Thursday. I look forward to seeing you then. All right then. Ta-ta. This was a Stakhanov production.