The Luke and Pete Show - Testicals and toenails

Episode Date: August 1, 2024

Donny wonders how long it would take to realise your ball sack was hanging out of your hot pants. Meanwhile, Luke tells the cautionary tale of pressure washing your foot.Plus, Pete ships a durian to the office...because why wouldn't he?Email: [e-mail] or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In the Garden of Day of Baby, don't you know that? I don't know any of those other words, to be honest. Have you got a problem, Loki Mower? Have you got a problem, Sunshine? Do you want to come over here and get a fist supper? Is that what you want? Is that what you want? Is that what you want? It's the Luke and Pete show.

I'm Pete Dolan, signed by Mr. Luke. You're not a second is wasted when it comes to the Luke and Pete show recording. As soon as producer Taylor clicks record, I'm so sorry for having to sit through this. As soon as you click record, we are just absolutely going hell for leather. And we don't stop until we've recorded the show. I just get desperate for my fist supper. Fist supper? If anything gets in between me and my fist supper, it makes Luke here a very angry boy.

Yeah, Lukey, I'm a little bit on edge, would you believe? That's how I live my life anyway, but I'm a little bit on edge. No, you live your life... Can I just make it very clear to new listeners of this show? You live your life on edge, not on the edge. Right, okay, what's the difference? Well, you're very much living on the edge of Leon C, but you're not not on the edge Right. Okay. What's the difference? The edge of Leon C but you're not living on the edge of Because people who live on the edge think they're a bit wacky and they're a bit kind of cool

All right, if you live on edge, you're basically anxious nervous worried. Yes. That's the one. That's the one. Yeah, I Bought a durian fruit to be sent to stack towers. Yeah, and I wish you had checked with me first and I For the football ramble tomorrow, and I didn't realize it was arriving today So I don't know where this durian is going to be honest I think it's gonna be going to the office. I think it might be going this straight to the post room. Oh good Oh Thanks very much for that because I'm the one who has to deal with the buildings of facilities people You don't have to deal you don't have to deal with buildings and facilities people

You just choose to because you like talking to grown-ups Partly true. Okay, let me give you a qualifier. Right. I took responsibility in the first instance for whatever fucking Absolute tomfuckery you brought to the building and now they seek me out. Right. OK. Yeah. Well, they look at me, Pete, and they go, there's a guy I could do business with. Who was there with a spanner when we had a little bit of a leaking radiator? Admittedly, it wasn't me, but I was next to the man who with the spanner. So there we go. They don't want you anywhere near a spanner.

So you have sent just to get this absolutely clear in my own mind, just to prepare myself for whatever happens tomorrow. I am going to have to deal with you sending the world's smelliest fruit to the post room of our building. Yeah. Yeah. We're gonna be banned from the games room! No more table tennis for me! I'm just gonna put it right in the centre of the table tennis room and go have a bit of that. I think it will be wrapped. It's delivered by DPD.

So I mean, it's not like it's gonna be wrapped properly, I think. How much do you pay for it? 90 quid. Fucking hell! Really? It's from Indonesia and Borneo and stuff. You can buy it from Wing Yip down the road. You said that. Somebody told us about Wing Yip. Where's Wing Yip? I wanna know about this Wing Yip.

It's in Croydon. Oh, that's my underwear. So, does it smell until you open it? I don't think it smells until you open it. I'm hoping that's the case. We should keep our powder dry because we're going to do it on the Ramblon and by the time people hear this we would have got it yesterday. So what I need is, I need someone who, I'm going to be travelling in via train I reckon, but I need someone to bring a big knife in. So, Lukey, can you bring a big knife in? No! I'm not doing that! This is above and beyond! You live in South London, you'd be on your line bike. You'd fit right in!

They're always waving the knives around! I'm pretty sure it's a mandatory five year prison sentence. So I'm not doing it. What if someone G-checks you when you're tooled up? No one will believe me, it's for a durian fruit. I'm gonna carve something real stinky. Alright, thank you sir, enjoy yourself. Can I just say to everyone this thing as well, so this show, you'll hear this on Thursday, we were recording this a couple days before, just because of scheduling commitments, and it is really fucking hot today, so I've got the window open next to me. The reason for that, you might hear a few birds tweeting in the background, more than likely because I live in West Norwood

you'll hear some sirens and that is because I can't do this with the window closed so you guys just have to count me some slack on that, you have to accept it. It's alfresco broadcasting. Except the foley and fauna of our audio shmoggers bod and I would say in many ways you I sometimes hear the sound of birds on podcasts that I'm on because I always bonk my head I do a lot I bonk my head a lot and one thing I will say is I'm not gonna accept any criticism from producer Taylor about this because when I saw her earlier when she was setting up the

record she was setting up the record She was sitting in their garden. So yeah, if it's good enough for the goose, it's good enough for the gander We could hear the barbecue going. She was cooking like a massive rack of lamb sizzling That's gold no, I'm cooking some lamb Well, I tell you what's happened here we've got've got the great LC on the visiting at the moment. Those regular listeners will know. Father-in-law based in the US of A. He's visiting for a week.

And yesterday- Lot of shells been put up. Well, yesterday he and the Wi-Fi I have access to did the entire garden. What do you mean, just did it? You knew you were doing it. Just, okay, right? But you name a garden task and they did it go on name one. Sweep up some leaves. Yep. Okay. Go more hardcore than that. Pop

some snails in their mouths? I can't confirm that. Did it get rid of the snails? Pressure washing oh yeah that got done. Oh lovely that is no recording a podcast near a pressure washer. Brilliant, how do you work your kind of pressure washer situation? Because I have, I'm so lazy I've bought another pressure washer because I could not be buggered with the state that I left my previous one in. So you could use a pressure washer to clean the old pressure washer? Exactly yeah, but it was just like, it was a pressure washer I had for a couple years and I just remember, I didn't put it away right. There's the odds and sods and the heads and the tubes and stuff, they're all in different places. And so I was in Halfords buying some lights and I just went, you know what, I'm just going to go and have a new pressure washer.

I've earned it. I've not earned it. So you're pressure washer squared now? Yeah, I've got two pressure washers. Your pressure washer times pressure washer. I've got one pressure washer that is bright yellow and I think a cart. Cart you're yeah, that's what we got. And another one that is very much not a cart. Very much Amazon. One of those days when they give them with them, when they lop 20 quid off

everything, one of those jobs. Oh, right. I sat in the garden last night and had my dinner on the freshly pressure washed patio. Oh, lovely. Yeah. Could you could you smell the cement? I think the problem is the garden's now fairly old so the pressure washer will pop up a bit of cement. They are quite aggressive aren't they?

They don't know their own power do they? I don't know why people, because people wash their cars with them, is that not really dangerous? I don't think they do do they? I think they do, yeah because if you go and wash your car at one of those garages... Different setting I think, you've got to put a different setting on it. Right, okay, I choose the wrong one. I want you to just took the paint off. Just put a big hole through the bonnet. Done. Done. I once, because obviously this is the kind of thing that people do.

When I first ever used a pressure washer, let's say 15 years ago, I put it on my foot to see what it was like. Don't do that. Little tickle. Fuck you now. I think you can do... It's like it was rearranging all the bones in my foot to see what it was like. Don't do that. Little tickle. Fuck you now. I think you can do. It's like it was rearranging all the bones in my foot. I've put it across my toenails before. It doesn't hurt your toenails, but oh, the rest of your foot can get rather tender. My toenails are quite, actually, you know what?

Thick. Nah, nah, nah. I'm not even saying it. I'm not doing it. Nah, I don't think people want to hear it. What's wrong with you? They're not going to be disgusted are they? What's wrong with your toenails? They're growing quite a weird way and they're quite sensitive.

They're quite sensitive? What do you mean they're thin? You've got really thin toenails? Kind of, yeah. Do you remember I busted my toenail off when I was cycling through Brockwell Park? Yeah, it never really grew back properly. It has grown back but it's grown back in a different way and it's quite unsettling. I remember when... Do you remember the garbage pail kids? Yeah. The cards were banned. growing back in a different way and it's quite unsettling. I remember when, do you remember the garbage pill kids? The cards were banned.

So you've got the cabbage patch kids and then you had the garbage pill kids in the 80s. Which is almost like a gothic piss take of the cabbage pill kids. Yeah, a subversive cabbage patch doll. Cutie poo cabbage patch doll. And they were jingling your drink. Ice in my drink? What do you think you are? Don fucking Draper, what's going on over there?

I'm not allowed a drink now. Stop jingling your drink. Ice in my drink? It's about 400 degrees here today. Don fucking Draper, what's going on over there? I'm not allowed a drink now. I didn't know the jingle of the... Please update your recording document. People's best practices for recording. Do not have a drink. Get fucked.

Yeah, but it's the jingle jangle of the ice cubes. We live in a fucking strange timeline where you can send the durian fruit to the post room and I can't have ice in my drink. Well, I didn't put ice in my iced coffee that I made. It wasn't really iced, it was just from the fridge. But yeah, where were we? I can't remember.

Toenails. Yeah. Thin-ass toenails. Yeah. Garbage Pail Kids cards back in the 80s. I remember they were banned from schools because one of the things on the back, they had like a little sort of how to win at life at school or whatever. And one of them was like, go over to a dinner lady and stamp on her foot. And somebody did that. And then there was a big whole kind of like daily male shock about these garbage pail

kids. And I would say that you're telling me that you about your weak point basically you're like this colossus telling me about your Achilles heel which is very much very soft yielding toenails well there's very much Achilles ad the Achilles heel yeah but it's still on the foot though isn't it it's very much the yeah yeah but yeah okay all right right. Yeah, we've all had it. I just I just I just find that I Just find that it's very hard to maintain them The old toenails. Yeah, I mean do they keep running away? What do you know three or four of them have been?

like Nicked off playing football stuff like that All right, and so they just they just did a bit of an estate Do we need to get you do we need to get you like a toenail graft? Do we need to get you a chiroprudist just to sort this all out? That's a really weird way of saying chiroprudist. I thought it was chiroprudist. Chiroprudist. Chiroprudist. Can I just do a bit of a vault fast on something that I don't want to forget to talk about? Like your toes. Like your arthritis riddenres. Mine are awful, they do go off in weird directions.

We don't, we didn't talk about the Olympics yet, right? No, no. That would be quite useful in many of the events in the Olympics. What? Weird fates in tores? Weird tores. Yeah, just a lot of more purchase. Synchronised swimming. Jumping. Jumping? It's not an event. I jump then.

What do you think the Olympics is? Give you more purchase. Give you more purchase. If you walked up to someone trying to impress them and said you were an Olympian, they'd say, what? And you just went, jumping. But the Olympic opening ceremony has caused a bit of controversy because it's like all the usual culture war stuff, like wedge issue stuff. And so I'm not trying to talk about that, But what I was going to say was, did you see

that during the, because obviously live, right? And it's a weird combination of, it's happening for the people that are attending it in person, but it's also of course happening for people watching at home. And one of the performers in a lovely pair of hot pants, one of his nuts was hanging out. Was this deliberate? This feels deliberate. I don't know if it's deliberate or not, but it happened. Because hot pants are by their very nature very tight. There is no excuse for a man who's clearly in his twenties to be, you know, what do they call it?

Dropping fly? Dropping trout? Like, you know, dropping ball. He's hanging out one of the sides though. Yeah, I don't think there's any reason for a man to have his testicles out. I just don't think that, I think that's the limbo. Oh, I don't think people are happy with it. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Spent eight years in the planning that. I don't know what he was talking about, it's a nut. But what I like about it is that, yeah exactly, they've sort of spent so much time

and you know, they've spent billions cleaning up that bloody river just for like, well, air the events that are on it. And I think a few of them have been cancelled this week. But, or moved on. Yeah, I mean, I think the testicle guy, they've spent billions on cleaning up the sin and he's decided to just pop his pop his testy out. But I think the nature of a hot pant on a man,

they are very short and they are very tight Yeah, so this is so exactly there's no excuse for a testicle to pop out in any hot pant wearing situation So it's like that story down in the in-between is when he's doing these wearing the speedos for the fashion show And he's nuts out. He doesn't realize right. Can you not realize? Wait, wait, right. Hang on, hang on. Let me test. You're not wearing hot pants though. No, but I could pop my testicle out and I would know whether, to be fair I do have a bit of air conditioning in this room. I was going to ask you about that. You've got aircon in there.

I've got a bit of aircon in here, so me and Sammy have been hanging out here all day. Sammy loving it. He's loving life. He is loving life. He's obviously food a little bit.. I can't tell if he's off his food or he's just been finicky. I think he might just been finicky. It's not because it's hot though? No, he's just not liking the food that we're giving him but oh give him a bit of chicken. Oh give him a denter stick, yes please. He wants that yeah. Any update on the testicle which is why we all got into broadcasting in the first place? No, I'm just saying that I could probably feel the breeze on either lefty or righty.

I think I could too. Yeah. But it's probably might be a good thing. Does the other thing, here's the thing though, it was absolutely pissing it down with rain, wasn't it? So maybe it wouldn't have been as easy to detect. What do you mean, it slipped out because it was wet? Yeah.

Your balls wet. So like, but like he, is it like wet But like he Is it like cuz like he is it one of those kind of ones where you become like a a Volunteer like 2012 because like that was a big thing wasn't this guy was a performer He's a performer community minded. You're not doing volunteer That's not gonna be the uniform for Olympic volunteers, is it? Oh, yeah, just put mr. Dawson do I just put the uniform on? Hot pants and a bright blue crop top.

Yeah, because I've not, I've not seen, is this like, because I've only seen like the the potted highlights of it and the man with his testicles out. Did it, was it kind of lingering? Did it wobble in the wind? Did it? No, I think it was, it was pretty fleet, it was pretty fleeting. Fleeting, right, yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's a shame. I was going to ask if you had aircon in the old apology cabin.

I do have aircon in the old apology cabin. What proper unit or just like a portable one you shoved in there? Nah just a proper unit that's affixed to the wall there. Do you still work yourself? The previous office guys, the previous owners of the house did say we've got a guy who can maintain the old refrigerant stuff and I just haven't taken a bubble one it's fine it's cool now it's cool now it's not yeah it's fine absolutely fine I went to pick up my son from nursery yesterday and that three or four minutes in the nursery was bliss it's absolutely

lovely yeah amazing on punishing summers in like the Far East in like Korea and Japan, a freezer aisle in a shopping centre is just absolutely dreamy. Do they have aircon in the houses and stuff? Yeah all over the place. And I mean the National Discs just fish, you don't want that on a warm day do you? No, we don't have aircon here though do we? For our Americans this is, I think it's always surprising to Americans when they come here and they go to their house or... LC's had a stinker. He's visiting in the in the in the busiest. He's staying in a lovely

Airbnb house, which is it's not aircon, but it's very cool. Right? So I think he's farmed it also like he's um He's got used to the heat. I suppose he's out and about all the time. So I don't think he minds too much Yeah, and and also like 30 degrees to People from that part of the world isn't that hot. Mmm. It just is to us, right? Yeah Yeah, is it 30 degrees of Leoncy today? I think I'm like 28 or something like that. Yeah, okay I don't know. I'm on a different computer. I don't even know where I'd find AccuWeather What's happened to your computer? It just keeps on just keeps on I

I think that you normally do what you've massively over complicated something and now you can't fix it. Yeah What's happened to your computer? It just keeps on... It just keeps on... I... I... You've done that thing that you normally do where you've massively over-complicated something and now you can't fix it? Yeah. Yeah. I, um... There's a bloke round the corner selling a, uh... Aargh! One of those steering wheels! What the fuck did you buy that for? And I put it... And I put it on the computer and I was like, oh, it needs Windows 10, so I put Windows 10 on it. And it's not improved my computer any.

It's... If anything, it's made it more difficult to use. What do you need the steering wheel for? You're not a driving games guy No, but I'm using the steering wheel like a mouse. I'm trying I'm trying to learn I thought at some point I'm gonna have to try to learn To drive stick so that's why I did that but um but it's it's it's ruined my it's ruined my computer So does it come with a gear stick as well? Yeah, let's see It's ruined my computer. Has it come with a gear stick as well? Yeah. Let's see. Err, here it is.

Oop oop oop oop oop. A tenner! Not bad is it? What are you doing with your life? You know what? You know when you're biz biz? I think buying things makes it feel like you're doing more stuff than you actually are. Do you know what I mean? You feel like you're getting out there and... Getting stuff done. You feel like you're doing more stuff than you actually are. Do you know what I mean? You feel like you're getting out there and yeah, well,

you feel like you're traveling or trying new things. But in reality, you just go on a face of marketplace and hang outside a counselor state until a man comes out with 10 pounds in your hand. Did you negotiate? I didn't negotiate. No, it was 10 pounds. I'm not. I'm not.

And also you're frightened of negotiating. I know I'm frightened of negotiating. Yeah. Yeah. Did you negotiate for the durian? Didn't negotiate. It was Amazon. Amazon delivered durian? Yeah, I told you I got a lot of crickets delivered to my mate's house once. Via Amazon? Yeah. Go. They sold them on Amazon. Yeah. That'll be my next trick then. He was, I told you about this. He was fuming. Yeah, yeah. It was some kind of, was it a test or something? Yeah, he's a vegetarian

and an animal rights guy as well. So he, rather than, I don't know what you would have done with him, but he took him to the zoo. Oh what, fed him to the snakes? And I said they're just going to feed him to the snakes! Yeah, just feed them snakes aren't they? Yeah. That's a shame. So there you go. Speaking of that, didn't somebody send an email about eating stuff in the zoo? Oh they did, yeah. Let's give a break, we'll come back and we'll do that when we come back from the break.

Almost there. Almost there. Alright. Here's the look of it, sure. It's Thursday the 1st of August, Pinch Punch first of the month, and every single Thursday we do all things battery brands. If you've found a battery in something that you own, we want to hear about it if it's an interesting or strange brand name. Hi chaps, my role sometimes requires me to go into schools and teach kids about what

I do. This is from Chris. That sounds disconcertingly vague. Hey kids, hey kids, it's what I do. What do I do? Well that's for the authorities to find out. I was in a school in Stockport recently and the wireless clicker that they had for PowerPoint presentations etc.

I'm sure Pete has a million, do had these batteries in do I get anywhere with a pro cell or will you guys just laugh at me? I think you are at risk Chris of being laughed at if not in prison We still don't know what you do. So all it is is a yourself subsidiary. It's been sitting 13 times You're fresh out of luck there. Please do let us know exactly what you're doing in schools because I feel like that's actually quite important. You can't just be a freelance janitor. That's against the rules.

On another note, be careful when you import anything from the Australian map. Planned Luke is right to point out import fees post-Brexit. I bought the Wi-Fi, I have access to a collectible doll for her birthday recently and the cost was somewhere in the region of £250 with delivery. That is exactly the price that Mr Donut cost for online. I got a knock on the door from UPS man and he proclaimed that I now owe them 20% on the entire cost including delivery plus their

own handling fee. No card machine meant it was either cash or online payment with him returning the day after. This sounds nightmarish. That does sound I would not enjoy that particular situation. I factored this in neither of my wife who was very apologetic about the whole thing. Cheers for listening to your rant. Chris, never mind Chris, never mind. Good on you for buying a collectible doll. But you're not having the Procell mate. Sorry mate. They could point on the collectible doll. But you're not having the pro cell mate. Sorry mate. They could point on the collectible doll to the policeman. Andy has got in touch. Hello chaps. Just back from a week with the family in Falaraki. More family friendly than I'd expected. And my youngest

daughter in decision, youngest daughters in decision might have bagged me a new player. Here for your consideration is the Hionok Super. Hionok Super. I've not been as regular this new recently as I've had to keep with all the ramble content but don't feel as if I've heard this one before. You'd probably be right on that one to be honest. They came to my possession followed a frenzied dash through the Falaraki tat shops as the clock ticked towards kickoff in the final of the Euros. Early in the week my youngest daughter had chosen a battery-powered bunny when presented with a range of choices which lasted about a day before the regret kicked in. Tears were shed about the dog that had been

left behind so a dash back to the shop was added to the agenda for our final evening. That's very sweet. I think you're spoiling your daughter there Andy, if you've chosen the toy she's got to stick with it. Feeling like you've left behind the dog in the Falaraki shop I think is very very sweet. Yes, Q swift negotiations with the shop owner who was set to haggle a 15 year old shooer and a mad dash back to the hotel with a five year old and a battery powered dog on my shoulders, one of which was yapping incessantly

until the batteries ran out. For context, the dash took seven minutes. The only positive to come out the sorry tale, putting aside the joy of a five year old getting the toy shirt out of her eye in all a week, would be if these were new players wishing you both and your families well. Keep the good work and the comprehensive and lovely email and a

lovely picture of you wedding ring with a Hwiyanok super on there. He's also added a video of the dog like play that the play that the dog dog doing a little dance toy dog yeah. Anyway Hwiyanok is what he said is that's H-U-A-Y-U-N-O-K. That is indeed a new player, so congratulations to you Andy, well done. Worth it in the end, worth it to get the new player officially. Alright finally for now we've got a message from Paul. Hello Paul. Loved the podcast, thank you all for the factoid. I can share to the disinterest of friends and partners. I mean, please Paul do not ever ever take

Anything that's been said on this podcast. This is coming an email. I used to live in South London penj penj West As I work in the public sector penj is in the south brother. No, I mean this penj East and penj West is oh sorry Yeah, that's fair. Yeah, that, fair point. Different flavours of Penge. As I work in the public sector, we move to Cardiff to allow us to stay on holidays in more exotic places than Bogner Regis buttlands. We're currently in the Algarve, a lovely part of the world.

The apartment is clearly a bit neglected from a technological point of view, but I'm hoping these batteries are old enough to be relevant to the game. Se-ga-sa. Se-ga-sa, triple A. In the TV remote that had been taped to prevent anyone stealing such a valuable artifact. All of us from the future, Paul. That's not going to stop me getting into a remote, it has to be said. So are they Segasa or Se-kasa? Err, what? C-E-G-A-S-A. I'd go with Segasa.

I don't know, that's a C which cropped off by the A, but yeah, I guess it is a G. I'm not seeing the... They're not, at least it doesn't matter because they're not new players anyway. I'm afraid. I'll tell you exactly how many people have sent those in. He's the sixth person to send those in. That's a shame. We've had Sagasa before, I'm afraid.

It sounds like it might be quite exotic, but they're an old hat to us. All right, before we go, should we do this email about what you were talking about earlier about the zoo type thing? It's from Ritz. I'll read it, shall I? He says, hey, Luke and Pete, new listener here. That's good. Luke And Pete That's good. Neil First time I've heard of a new listener for ages. Luke And Pete Heavy, heavy, where's the crown? I'm scared.

Neil You've got a lot to get through. Luke And Pete Whoa. Neil How many episodes have we got? Luke And Pete I wouldn't go through all of them. Pick the best ones. How's he going to know though? I don't know. It's a good point actually. I'd like to know how many there are. I'm going to try and find out. Anyway, in the meantime, he says, couldn't help but notice the snail chat proliferating as a pod recently. Now you were talking a lot about snails, you were doing some pretty responsible shit,

like telling people to eat them and all that kind of shit. Do you know how many episodes are out? Bloody hell. Just looking now. It's remarkable, 718 episodes. 718. That's mad. We'd have got less for killing each other or some,

I don't know what people say about marriages. We wouldn't be doing the episodes, would we? No, we wouldn't be doing the episodes would we? No, we wouldn't be doing the episodes. We'd be doing them from prison. Anyway, I just thought that was fascinating. That's quite interesting, isn't it? We're cracking on for a thousand. We are. Yeah, so Rich says, look, first off, Pete, if I wasn't located on the upper side of the world in Australia, I would absolutely purchase your snails by the dozen.

Because you had loads in your garden, right? That's the whole point of this. I did. Endless amounts of snails. Are they still there? Awful creatures yeah well they've kind of regressed a little bit when the sun comes out because I think they dry out but yeah they're there waiting to reclaim their garden. He says the reason for this leads into the subsequent snail chat where you guys were discussing which animals eat snails and as an Australian I was shocked you didn't bring up lizards, though I suppose you don't really see those all too often over there. I have two blue tongue skinks as pets

named Fiona and Shrek. Oh, nice. And snails are the main source of protein in the wild. It's very hard to find them here right now as it's winter, so they're mainly in hibernation. So Pete, if you could find a way to ship your snails internationally without customs detecting them, you may have just found the first customer for your snail emporium. Cheers boys, Ritz from Melbourne. Our PS have attached a picture of Fiona absolutely chomping down a snail. Now the skink looks amazing, really cool, but I never thought they ate things like snails because of the

shells, right? I get slugs. I didn't think the snails would be a goer because of the shells right I get slugs right yeah I didn't think the snails would be a goer because the shell so it looks to me like Fiona the the skincare is eating snails shell and all well I mean I think don't like lizards eat eggs and stuff snakes eat eggs don't they so maybe they're then kind of used to crunching crunching and processing hard calcium me sort of stuff yeah it doesn't make it as appetizing if it's got a shell. You're going to get snails from your local French restaurant. You're not going to be eating the shell. No, it's a good point actually.

But yeah, she looks great. She looks like very healthy and just loving the... Shiny coat. Shiny coat, loving a snail. Fantastic. Well, you can't send animals to Australia. Don't do that. Have you not seen Border Force?

Fire them out. Fire them out of a cannon. So they go to orbit and someone's catching them with a net. You can't do that. So thanks for the thought, Ritz. But I think, and you're very welcome to the Lucan Picture community, by the way, so do keep us posted on how you're getting on. I'd love to know how you're approaching it. Send us more pictures of your beautiful lizards. Yeah, that'd be good. That'd be good. Are you going to go all the way back to the start and work your way through, or are you just going to pick and choose? That'd be good to know'd be good. Are you gonna go all the way back to the start and work your way through or you're just gonna pick and choose? Hmm that'd be good to know.

Skink. Wow. I know, it's a weird name animal, skink as well isn't it? Skink. There's lots of different species. Just a type of lizard mate. Very cute. Not found in arctic or sub arctic regions. Not snails. That's why. Not snails. Have you heard of an animal by the way? Speaking of that, I found out for the first time, and this is Australian related as well,

so Rich might have a take on this, have you heard of an animal called a sugar glider? Yes. They're adorable. They're fucking cool. Yeah, they're adorable, aren't they? I've never heard of one before. When did you first hear of one? I worked in a zoo, didn't I? So I think we had one. Do we have one? I think we had one. We got a sugar glider. Have you not seen one in a zoo?

They're pretty... I don't think they're massively under threat, might be wrong on that one, but yeah, they're adorable. They're listed by the... their conservation status is officially of least concern. Yeah, they always say that, they always say sort of like... They put like, on every zoo exhibit, they always put like, you know, least concern to the top. They never say... fucking kill them if you want. There's never a fucking kill him if you want there's never a go I've a go if you fancy it's always what it's implying it's always not concerned it's always least concern what's the one

behind that then please get rid of this skink please kill a skink this is a least concern brackets we've got fucking loads of them we can't get rid of them can't get rid of them and then you go to for lunch and it's on the menu. Yeah, exactly. Least concern is like, is as far as it goes, I think. It's least concern. Are there any endangered chickens? I wouldn't have thought so. No.

Very successful species. They are very successful. It goes least concern, near threatened, vulnerable, endangered, critically endangered, extinct in the wild, extinct. There are some at risk apparently. Oh right. Poultry, Andalusian chickens are at risk, a dorking chicken is at risk.

There's just a lot of very British-y kind of ones. The Sicilian Buttercup. Oh that sounds delicious. Get that down you, lovely. I can't get excited, I know they're important, but I can't get excited by the flora end of it. I'm much more interested in the fauna. Right, okay.

Flora is flora's plants and fauna's animals. Correct. Right. But if someone, and I know this is a terrible thing to say, and I'm really referencing my own ignorance rather than anything else, but if someone says to me, oh, that particular plant, that's extinct now. Yeah. I'm finding it hard to get upset about that.

Unless it eats flies and goes, feed me, on TV shows, yeah, I'm finding it hard to get upset about that. Unless it eats flies and goes, feed me on TV shows. Yeah, I'm exactly the same. Do people think that the old Venus fly trap is a kind of... Do people think the carnivorous plants are like of alien origin? Yeah, I couldn't give a toss about plants, to be honest. All right. This has been the Luke and Pete show. I'm the Flora, Luke's the Fauna and we'll

be back on Monday so look after yourselves alright? The Luke and Pete Show is a stack production and part of the A-Cast Creator Network.