The Luke and Pete Show - The boy in the box

Episode Date: May 8, 2023

Luke’s forced to face up to his past on today’s episode as he tells Pete all about a very memorable encounter he had with a mysterious character as a child. Amazingly, Pete manages to solve the mystery in about 30 seconds and uncovers exactly who the person was Luke encountered all those years ago.We also hear about an unwelcome development in Luke’s local community and a listener gets in touch with their own story about Tic Tacs. Warning: The story contains ‘unpleasant details’!Want to get in touch with the show? Email: [e-mail] or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

it's the luke and pete show i'm pete donaldson it is a monday full of cold luke oh shit full of i'm 42 now and i'm full of cold you seem fine you seem broadly fine um i would say that um just so people know from the outset from the off from the off due to some personal circumstances we've had to record this in advance right

we haven't seen King Charles' Coronation no we will do it we were surprised about the skateboard bit yeah who knew we could

kickflip I didn't honestly know Piers Morgan was going to play such a big role but we don't know what happened because we haven't seen it because we have to pre- it because of the pre-rec

we have to pre-rec because of the shit that's going on in our personal lives nothing bad all good but it's just logistically tough so we will do Luke's up in the beak

we will it's that fixed penalty notice again we will do the I'll take on that later on we're not a breaking news show so I'm sure you'll still enjoy it but just

and a lot of you don't live in England Pete Pete oh yeah no one else is going to cover that are they the King's coronation of course

America obsessed with it they had to give us an extra fucking May Day Bank holiday because we knew that we'd kick off I get about 15 questions about the royal family

every time I go to America so trust me it matters anyway we'll do it at some point I don't want people to listen and think when they're going to

start talking about this we're not at this point in proceedings I've't want people to listen and think, oh, when they're going to start talking about this. We're not. At this point in proceedings, I've not created the Prince Charles ear I promised to make. Shit. To be fair, it's not in the invite in the old... It's a nice to have. It's a nice to have, yeah.

It's a nice bonus. But yeah, I'm just finding, you know, I talk about a lot of things going wrong in my DIY life. I'm trying to sell a car. And all of these things that kind of come through, you're like, well, there's just a lot of things going wrong in my DIY life. I'm trying to sell a car. And all of these things that kind of come through, you're like, well, there's just a lot of my time being taken up with things I don't want to do. And things that I do want to do,

like create Prince Charles' ear out of some form, that's the thing I want to do. Yeah. It's upsetting. What it is, I think, is there an element to this where you've gone, I want to be a good guy, and I want to be seen to be a good guy I don't have the time to be a good guy

but I'll do it and I'll say I'll do it and I'll worry about it later because that comes to bite me all the time if someone says to me will you do this and it's more than a month away my brain will just go yeah yeah it's fine and then you're like

I said I'd do a charity thing and by the time I figured out somebody sent me the times that I could have done and I was aware

and I missed the email kind of and then I just fucked it up and so that is going to be on my conscience I'll say yes to everything but

when I fuck it up and I can't do it because of scheduling you feel bad I feel really bad and you know what I'm like with my conscience it's a it's a real bind yeah it's a it's an absolute marvel you manage to get anything done because you're so kind of anxious about stuff like that yeah um i'm terrible for it i would say this that um you know sometimes i get to the the time where i've got to do something that i said i'll do and I cannot tell you how much I don't want to do it

and because of the social norms you can't have a tantrum you can't have a tantrum at 42 sometimes the only way to get shit done is just go straight through you can't go round but do you surprise yourself doing stuff that you're not comfortable with you're like ah this was fine in the end.

Maybe I'll learn for next time and you never learn. Maybe this social engagement won't be bad next time because it isn't. It never is. I'm a ball by the horns kind of guy, though, aren't I?

So I'll just go straight in there. I just go, right, I've got to fucking do it. I'm going to do it. And I've never been... What percentage of your life is that? 90%? Yeah.

Yeah. It's probably only suitable for 10% of the things I do. Yeah. There's a big disconnect there. Yeah. I'll take the bull by the horns. Some kind of surgical medical procedure that the doctor's doing on me, I'll take the bull by the horns.

Yeah. Do it like this. Yeah. Do it like... I want you to do it like that. Fuck off. Do it like that. Go through my ear.

Put it out my nose. Yeah, exactly. Put it out with a hug. Put it out of my nose. Yeah, exactly. Put it out of the mug. Last, I'm sorry, on Thursday's show last week, we were talking,

weren't we, about little childhood things that people were obsessed with. You talked about ancient Egypt. And I finally remembered that so that me and a couple of my friends were obsessed with as kids, is that near where we lived, there was this little copse, I suppose,

of a lot of trees and a field and some other trees and a little river, and it was called Monk's Walk. And the reason it was called Monk's Walk is because I think it used to have a tunnel under it between, I think, the harbour and the monastery where the monks would go if they had to go somewhere. And now it's just like a nature reserve. But it's not even really a nature reserve. It's fucking tiny.

It's probably about the size of... It'd be half the size of Highbury Fields out there, but it's with trees and stuff. Anyway, in there, because you know there's quite a military presence where I grew up. In there was a military assault course. It was all fenced off. Right.

Barbed wire, everything. This is the most 80s thing ever, but it was called Don Styler's Assault Course. Don Styler's Assault Course. I know they're always called Don Styler. Don Styler. Yeah. Anyway, so every single weekend or evening in the summer or whatever, me and my mates would ride our mountain bikes.

You'd down the DS. Well, no, we'd never been to go in there. Right. And we'd always look for the fence. It'd be fucking DS. Well, no, we'd never been to go in there. Right. And we'd always look for the fence and it'd be fucking amazing. Don Styler's Physical Training Centre. Is it still there? Still there.

Is it still there? Monk's Walk, yeah. There's a man doing some press-ups. I think it's, it looks like it's been given away to the people. Right. Because like,

absolute. Oh, what about bloody time? Muscle lads are sort of awful, smelly, unclean, badly presented waste of space in a nice location, though. It's expensive for what you get. There are newer, cheaper gyms in the area.

Right. So I presume this is the gym that is kind of connected to it. Can you be a bit more sensitive here? Because you are destroying my childhood with these comments. Sorry, yeah. I've done a ghost hunter here all night. It is an amazing place. I recommend it to everyone to do.

Is that you talking or the review? That's Martin Holland, the local guide. Okay. So anyway. Just an old-style gym. I don't know what it is now. Great place to train. Cold, damp, old machines.

Nowhere there to help. Snap me message about payment. Yeah, so a lot of people, they're either going there and training or they're going for ghost hunts. That last review, that's surely exactly what you want from a gym. Proper.

Yeah. Read it again. Cold, damp, old's surely exactly what you want from a gym. Proper. Yeah. Read it again. Cold, damp, old machines, no one there to help. Good. Like it. Yeah, get your fucking... Listen, you'll bulk up ten times quicker. No one in their sweaty Betty gym-type clothes.

I don't know. No beat of cucks in there. Not creating soy boys. No, it's all fucking proper types. Anyway, so I don't know what it is now. It sounds horrific. Back in the day, we could never go in it. Right.

We always wanted to. So it sounds like it was just like a local gym, but in the 80s, gyms were shit. It's an outdoor assault course. Right, yeah. Connected to the gym. It had no building. I could remember.

Maybe they've changed it. This is 30 years ago. We used to climb a tree, which was like our favourite tree to climb, go right to the top and look in it because we were so obsessed with it anyway yes one day right it's fucking open yeah okay so we go in and we're fucking shitting ourselves it's like the world's crappest episode of stranger things because we're all in there on our bikes we go in there we're all young and we go in and it's got um it's got this, it's really fucking hard to explain.

It sounds mental. Yeah. But it's got, so imagine a massive box that's about 15 feet high. Yeah. And about 15 feet wide, a square box made of like MDF. Yeah. And it's like. It is an Egyptian tomb.

So you look at a massive cube. Yeah. And at the bottom of it, say at this height, it's got like a little square opening. Around the other side, at the top, it's got another same size opening. This sounds like a glory hole.

With a ramp going down. Right. And the idea is, I think it's used for like army recruitment. Right. And you go in it, and it's pitch black, and it's like a maze.

Yeah, okay. And you've got to sliver yourself around it. Nice, I like it. And we were like, fucking someone's got to go in it and it's pitch black and it's like a maze. Yeah, okay. And you've got to sliver yourself around it. Nice, I like it. And we were like, fucking someone's got to go in that. Yeah. Go in it. Because the other thing was like a big, what do you call it, where you hold onto a rope and swing all the way down.

Okay. I can't really call them, but it's got a net at the end. Yeah. At least at the end of the Krypton Factor. Do you remember that? I can't remember. Yeah, it's big in Costa Rica inexplicably. Right.

Yeah, Zipline. Yeah, Zipline. But nowhere near as big as the one in Costa Rica. Over an amazing rainforest canopy. remember the uh it's yeah it's big in costa rica inexplicably right yeah zip line yeah zip line but nowhere near as big as i want in costa rica over an amazing rainforest canopy this is in fucking gospel and uh and just other things that climb over a fucking wall whatever this was amazing anyway my mate goes in it right and when he goes in it it obviously takes you ages because you've got to swivel around it probably takes you about probably you about 10 minutes and it's claustrophobic and it's fucking dark and so he's in it

as he gets in it and he's in it for a couple of minutes a guy who's I think it might have actually been Don Styler turns up

and he looks like an army guy with little shorts on vest ripped and he's older compared to us he's like

oh you can't come in here you can't come in here you need to be with an adult all the rest of it but doesn't obviously realise that there's a boy in the maze there's a boy in the box

there's a boy in the box right I've had a boy in the box for less than that yeah he's like you've got to go you've got to go and we're like

I'm Don Styler get out of here we can't because there's a boy in that box there better not be I can hear scuffling yeah no we told him

the boy was in the box right and he was fuming right because if something happens he's probably liable he might find the skeleton of the other kid

who was in there so he started shouting right and um what do you think the upshot of that is uh kid panics

wets himself boy doesn't want to come out so he's like stuck in there the guy's like get out of my fucking box yeah you're staying in there are you yeah he's staying in there of course you're gonna stay in there. The guy's like, get out of my fucking box. Yeah, you're staying in there, aren't you? Yeah, he's staying in there.

Yeah, of course you're going to stay in there. And we're just standing there. And he can't come in after him. He's too big. Yeah. He's a bodybuilder. There's no way he could have got in there. No way.

I don't even know why the box was there, to be honest. No. After about 10 minutes. Sounds a bit kinky. My mate, he's called Dominic, he slithered out.

Just slithered down the ramp and we all just walked out. Kept slithering like a slug. Yeah. I was hoping he would say, oh, come. Kept slithering like a slug. Yeah. I was hoping he would say, oh, come and have a go. Come and have a go. Yeah, if you want to get fit, Don Styler's gym is the place to be. I thought to myself at the time, we may only be annoying children now,

but we're the bodybuilders of the future. We're the bodybuilders of the future, yeah. You've got a chance to have a good influence on us here. Did the, is the, is the, I'm trying to find the, so I found out who Don Styler is. Was it that man? Was that man from your past?

That's him. That's him. That's 100% him. So he was a local Gosport bodybuilder who died in 2016. Oh, RIP Don Styler.

He's no, is his box still around? He's no longer with us. Maybe he's buried in that box. Proper spin. So he just crawled in because he knew

he was on his way out he just crawled into his little maze just dug a massive grave and lowered the whole thing in yeah exactly what happens if he's not really dead

he won't get out no exactly it was a place that we were obsessed with as kids yeah and then when we eventually got in

it was a bit of an underwhelming experience isn't that hilarious that like the internet's so magical that a man who showered at you 20

30 years ago... I reckon it probably would have been 1990. Yeah, I've got a picture of him on my television screen laptop. Yeah. Yeah, that's how I would explain it to a child of the 80s. It's a television screen, but you carry it around with you. It's still there. And I think if someone had said to me at that point,

you'll never see that man again, I would have gone, oh yeah, probably won't. Now I have seen him again, I don't know what happened to him sounds like he was a bit of a local face around the he was yeah quite an inspirational

gosspot bodybuilder because back then like gyms were disgusting I've never been to a good gym I've only ever been to like an easy gym

you know on Tottenham Court Road and that was alright the one near me is is decent it's a better health one fine but can before we move on

from Don Styler, I don't have any reason to believe he wasn't a good guy or anything. He was just a little bit perturbed. You don't want kids in your gym if you don't have insurance.

Don't let kids in your assault course. That's day one of assault courses. Don't let them in. It's not for them. For grown-ups. Yeah, you need ID

to get in here. Let's have a break. When we come back, we've got a few emails to get through, Pete. One of them's about Tic Tacs, by the way. T not for them. No. For grown-ups. Yeah, you need Isaiah to get in here. Let's have a break. When we come back, we've got a few emails to get through, Pete. One of them's about Tic Tacs, by the way. Tic Tacs, lovely. Sorry, I just got distracted. Looked there by a man who's attended

the Don Styler 2019 bodybuilding show. Oh, he looks amazing. And it's a guy who kind of, he's sort of styled himself on Hulk Hogan, hasn't he, really? Sort of a cross between Superfly, Jimmy Murders, and Hulk Hogan. I'll tell you who would have gone to Don Stylist. Right.

Remember I told you, the righteous Paul Trevelle. Oh, right, yeah. He definitely would have gone there. The cross over there is almost complete. You do occasionally see on Facebook Marketplace old weights from the 80s. The stuff that was hard plastic filled with sand. Stuff like that.

We used to have them. Yeah. So my dad always used to have one of those spring chest things as well. Chest expander over the top.

Why don't you see them anymore? Because hilariously they catch your chest hair. Dangerous. If you let go of one of them

you could probably knock yourself out. Yeah. But again people use kind of like belts don't they? Yeah. Like restrictive belts. Yeah there's a word for it I can't, don't they? Yeah. Like restrictive belts.

Yeah, there's a word for it. I can't remember what it is. Yeah. Similar vibe. When we went to Kiev in 2012, and I had an apartment with John, he had one with him. What were you doing with that?

Well, he brought one with him. Yeah, you put it over the doorframe and you do your exercise. Oh, yeah. You sort of pull yourself up. Yeah. Because he was just in that at the time and he brought it

to that. I mean, that is funny. I thought it was funny. I think John would have short amounts of patience for people who would do that nowadays. Yeah, probably.

Yeah. Because he's got policies on everything. Yeah, I know, yeah. And I think he would have policies on his younger self and Kier. That's what works,

because he's got policies on everything, you've got policies on nothing, and I'm kind of in the middle. Anyway, hello at lucanpitch.com. You just don't like stand-ups. That's what works because he's got policies on everything. You've got policies on nothing. I'm the guy in the middle. Anyway, hello at lucanpeach.com. You just don't like stand-ups.

That is true. Oh, don't fucking get me started on that. Don't even get me started. You know the bad news I've had about that. What? What's the bad news? I've moved into my fucking road.

Oh, yes. There's a stand-up. A man who's promoting his stuff. Don't name them because it's not fair. I can't remember his name. I'm always safe with you. There's a man on your neighbourhood

WhatsApp group who keeps publicising his stand-up comedy nights and knowing what I know about Luke Moore and stand-up comedy he ain't a fan but would anyone be happy with that?

I mean normally the group was it was low-level annoying just busybody people but it was also helpful would you like some spare plants? we've got some left over we're looking to get rid of this travel cot.

Does anyone know when the roads close for a street party? Does anyone want a fucking scrap? It's 10 o'clock. I've had a couple of cans. Does anyone want a fucking scrap? Tops off. Only if you want to. Have you been to Donald Styler's gym?

It's a no then. That's an old school spitting stardust place. I'll tell you what, outside number 60, 10pm, I'll be there. If you want to fight, come down. I'll be oiled up, I'll be wearing Zubas trousers and I'll be ready to go. Bandana? Bandana, yes. Yeah, bandana.

I do fantasise about what my wrestling look would be. I'll fight any one of my neighbours at 10 o'clock on Saturday outside number 60. If you beat me, brackets, which you won't, you can have my car. You can have my car. That'd be great.

That old Fiat? Disgusting. I'll be all for that. Anyway, people are starting to advertise comedy. It's that kind of neighbourhood now where it used to be for people who could only,

because it was the only place people could afford to live. I'm one of those people. I've lived there for 10 years now. Now it's trendy. Now people are buying places there. Oh yeah, because there's so much money in fucking stand-up. Stand-up club promotion. I can't say this. I can't tell you what I want

to tell you because it would identify it. Okay. There's other money involved. Okay. So that's how he's living there. Okay. Because I'll be honest with you, in my middle class, you know, nasty way, I couldn't help it. Yeah.

I didn't, I didn't, I wasn't proud of myself for thinking this, but my instant thought was, how is he afforded to move into my road? Anyway. So rude. Anyway.

So London. That's been, that's not been, that's not been a great. We've got the shittest house on our, in our WhatsApp group. Very easily. We've got the shittest house in our WhatsApp group. Very easily. We've got the shittest house.

And it's getting shitter. With the DIY I do. Well, let me tell you about the dynamic of our road. One side of the road, the side I live on, flats. Right. Cheap. Yeah. Other side of the road, houses.

Houses. A lot of them detached. Okay. Imagine the dynamic in Britain's class system about that. Oh, I saw this man come in quite late to the... Shut up. Yeah, exactly. Go inside your house.

And for the record, it's not the stand-up comedy per se. I can take or leave that. It doesn't affect me. I think you can leave it. I think that's very much your policy, isn't it? It's the wackiness I don't like. It's the wackiness. It's the infectiousness, the way it goes into all their lives.

It's the need to entertain. No, because that makes me sound hypocritical. I know why you're saying that. But here's the thing. Correct. If you're a doctor, right? You're not a barber surgeon in the back streets of London. You're not coming in.

Then I'll get that tooth out for you. You're not asking people to buy tickets to your surgery. No. It's not affecting mainstream life. That's your job. I'm sure you're great at it. Thank you very much for the offer of help. But you don't have to keep telling me you're a doctor.

I get it. It's fine. It doesn't really happen with some other trade, is what I'm saying. Anyway, that's an unwelcome development into my neighbourhood. It's my problem to deal with. I'll keep you posted.

Please ask to do type 5. I've muted you posted. Please ask to do type five. I've muted the group. Please ask to do type five. I've muted it. Come on. I love my, I got free set of drawers, chest of drawers yesterday from my neighbour.

We missed out on something we needed because I muted the group because I was personally angry about a stand up. You can imagine how that went down. Yeah.

How was the chest of drawers? It's good. I've not picked it up yet but they look good. I'm going to put them in the apology cabin and put some of my tools in there. The grief hole.

The grief hole mark two. Code on the apology cabin. It's such a mess in there. Since the dog's been there, he's started just tearing stuff up. Just tearing posters off the wall. It's not a review you wanted at the apology cabin, is it?

No, no, true. I'm going to do an email. I saw that word. I'm going to do one. It's about Tic Tacs. I haven't read it in advance, which is unlike me, but Rory,

producer Rory, has put in here brackets, some unpleasant details. Oh dear. And he's not actively producing today because he's too busy

doing something else because producer Finn's on holiday. So we're freestyling here, Pete. The safety net's gone. We're tightrope walking across the Grand Canyon. We'll see if the Tic-tacs sink us.

Who knows? Hi, Luke and Pete. Long time listener, first time emailer, but I thought I'd break my vow of not interacting with the two little men in my headphones to regale you with a tale of how tic-tacs can be the downfall of man, or in this case, boy. It started when my dad got back from a work trip away

with the RAF. After four months of knocking about in some war zone, he came back with some goodies, some of which was a multi-pack of Tic Tacs. Oh, okay. You're pretty happy with that if you're a kid. That sounds like an airport purchase, doesn't it? Big time, afterthought.

Yeah. Now, these weren't the usual mint variety, but my first experience of the brightly coloured lemon and lime flavoured type. Okay, yeah. Now, the combination of easy availability, intense flavour, and enticing bright orange and green colour

was too much for my young mind with a feeble frontal lobe to resist, and I made it my personal mission to polish off as many boxes as I could one Sunday. Let me guess, you omitted some rather less disciplined brown pellets of your own. Well, we'll see. Pedant's Corner alert.

I think the orange and green ones are lime and mandarin, not lime and lemon, but that doesn't matter. This came to a head where in the dead of night, I was rudely awoken by a sensation

in my stomach I had never experienced before. The pressure was building and I wasn't sure if I could hold out much longer. A lot of these types of little sweets do have a laxative effect, don't they,

after a while? Yeah, it's because it's sugar. Are they sugar-free? Xylitol? Yeah, I think it's the xylitol, yeah. I scaled down from my bunk bed with the speed of a fireman down a pole. Bunk bed. You do not need to have the shits in a bunk bed. Added a bit of admin you don't need. My little legs were beating off the carpet as I burst out of the room into

the corridor, sweat now dripping from my forehead, my arse nipping with each step, my eyes focused on the bathroom door. Ah. My pants were down. My ass was descending. I was about to be safe. And then, about half a foot off the toilet, I shat. The force of the tic-tac-related accident was so powerful that after the bombardment was over, I felt like it was safe enough to open my eyes. I was confronted by a scene that must be every parent's nightmare. The pressure and consistency of the evil that was fired from me had caused splashback on all four walls

including the one in front of me and I too was covered. In front of you? There was nothing left for the young me to do but scream for my mum. Aww.

That's adorable. And he leaves it on that cliffhanger. Yeah. I love the show. Where else can I hear about batteries and pork scratchings

twice a week? Connor. I'd just get the hose. I'd have a part two. You stay in there and I'm going to hose you down like when your parents used to say

stay in the garden the garden hose is coming out what did you get what would you have been up to well I'll tell you what happened to me once thank you for that tic tac related

thank you Connor that's an adorable story in a way I was fucking hell this is monk's walk again okay monk's walk

I told you it had a little back to the harbour monk's walk out and it was like a creek. Yeah. Right? And when the tide went out, it was really muddy.

But the mud looked like it was hard. And this is how people get fucking die, by the way. Yeah. Like, we were out on some shipwreck out in the harbour just dicking about,

fishing for crabs, doing whatever. Proper Huckleberry Finn vibes. Proper just William shit. Tom Sawyer stuff and the tide went out and we're stuck there and it wasn't that far

it was probably about I don't know 15 metres from the shore but it was all mud and it looked like hard mud and my mate jumped in because he thought

he was going to sit on it and it was going to take his weight and he just sunk up to like his knees but you can't fucking move and so we're like shit

so we basically just had to go in there and basically back ourselves just to fucking fight our way out which we did eventually and I wasn't really that bothered about it

at the time but looking back on it it was probably quite dangerous luckily for me my mum was away at the time it was just my dad absolute result

so I got home with all my clothes covered in mud and he was like stay out there strip yourself down to your pants, fine. Garden hose. You're getting the whores.

Put it on, obviously, freezing cold on purpose. Standard dad behaviour. Yeah, but I mean, why would a garden whore need hot compliment? You don't have a hot and cold mix attack for a garden whore, do you? That's true. So it would just be cold. All I'm saying is there probably were other solutions available to him that he did not consider.

And the thing I remember about it is when I first came up the garden path and he saw me from the back room, he was reading this paper and as I approached it, he just literally said to me, what have you done? I told him and he just went, oh yeah, boys will be boys, I suppose. And then just, and I didn't say anything to him. My mum would have gone mad. Right. What, just because of the mess or just the danger?

Because she would have known what I'd been doing. With the mud. She would have known where it had come from. She'd have been like, you're a fucking idiot. That's sea mud. She wouldn't have said that. Like, little finger. Get a little mud. That's sea mud.

That's danger mud. Normal mud, fine. She would have grounded me for the minimum of a week. And you would have deserved it I probably would have dangerous little boy I probably would have done but anyway

that's the end of that Peter why don't you take us out of here oh I'm still looking at this fucking the bodybuilder we spoke about a little

earlier on in our run I just the friendly he's a hong kong guy he just got very friendly eyes I wish I had friendly eyes

I think he would probably be a gentle giant yeah a little gentle giant yeah a little gentle giant there was a guy there was a guy at Wrestlemania and he was like

a little guy probably my size but like muscular really fucking pumped and he'd chosen to dress up like Hollywood Hulk Hogan

you know when he had the black beard and the white moustache before he was racist yeah before he was racist before he was known to be racist and sunglasses

he looked so much like a tiny version of Hulk Hogan. It was hilarious. So everyone's got their picture taken with him. Yeah. But then it started to get cold. And he didn't have a coat. And he's just wandering around, topless, freezing, like visibly shivering.

What a life. What a life. What do you reckon he's doing right now? I don't know. He's probably thanking his lucky stars that he's not I mean he looked so much like Hulk Hogan it was really really good

but he was tiny probably that dumb stylus trying to get bigger some of the cosplaying stuff that happens at these types of things it is amazing it's objectively amazing

the amount of work that goes into it yeah I remember speaking of the gentle giants one of the a good life lesson I learned actually as a kid

I was 16 and I was working at a sports shop and I was just about to go to sixth form college and I think it was the week I ended up going to sixth form college and I met some of my friends that I would go on to be still friends with now and they were all going to see the Prodigy, right, at Portsmouth Guildhall that Saturday. But I had got tickets with some of my older friends

that I worked with at the sports shop to go see Motorhead right okay at the two different sides of the coin back then yeah but Prodigy and Motorhead were both playing Portsmouth on the same night they were playing

Motorhead were playing the Pyramid Centre which is a slightly different kind of venue in a different part of town so I went to that and it was the first kind of heavy metal gig

I'd been to it was probably one of the first gigs I'd been to actually not a bad start there was a massive mosh pit in the middle. And this is going to sound mental, but I promise you this is the case. There were

two guys who looked like twins. My height, probably about 35 stone each. Massive. Proper, like, buster blood vessel types. Two of them who looked exactly the same, with exactly the same leather vests on, with nothing underneath

and they were tearing around the venue like maniacs right and I remember thinking I vividly remember thinking I am possibly one of the most

frightened I've ever been they were probably very friendly well this is the thing if they come over here and start fucking moshing about there's a chance

I might actually die right I don't want to get into the whole politics of moshing and all the rest of it because that's a different conversation. Anyway, on the way home, I have to get a ferry home, because I live in Gosport,

and I have to go across the harbour on a ferry. One of the twins was on the ferry, and he was sitting on the table next to me. I remember it. I had a few beers, but I just remember it. Two twins separated by a ferry terminal. I think one of them probably lived somewhere else, but they're adults. Yeah, I know.

But they frequently lived together, twins. They hadn probably lived somewhere else, but they're adults. Yeah, I know. Yeah, anyway. But they frequently lived together, twins. And dressed the same. Yep. As these two did. Yep. With their leather vests, which they must have had made. They must have had made.

Anyway, so he sat there. Is this a saddle? Is this a horse's saddle? Yeah. And he's just chatting. And because he's such a character to look at, people are just talking to him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It sort of reminds me of the Hulk Hogan thing reminded me of it

he was the nicest man in the world and I learnt a lesson that day rock kids rock lads usually are don't judge a brick by it's cover exactly yeah he was a lovely fella

I like the people on Instagram we sort of talk about their tattoos like it automatically makes them the most dangerous looking person in the world

like they'll sort of go you know what are these you know you probably think that I'm a real probably like a biker or something like really into illegal activity and like really naughty or, you know, you probably think that I'm a real, probably like a biker or something,

like really into illegal activity and like really naughty, but actually I'm not because, you know, I'm actually quite a nice person. It's like, no one thinks that. No, because... It's 2020, everyone's got tattoos. Everyone's got tattoos.

When I was a kid in Portsmouth, it would have been the same for you up in the pools. Only criminals and sailors had them. Bus drivers. And they did it themselves. Yeah. And bus drivers because they probably used to be sailors.

Used to be criminals. Or criminals, yeah. To round off the show, I very much enjoyed the band. It was a little bit of a viral post that went around. Trophy Eyes. Oh, yes. The band Trophy Eyes.

Somebody Instagram messaged them, or I think replied on one of their pictures. First time I ever heard of you guys was a concert in Atlanta tonight, and the lead singer kept encouraging mosh pits and crowd surfing, which made the majority of us who were there for Against the Current, another band, feel very unsafe,

and I had to go to the sidelines, which is not fair because we were there before your crazy fans. I almost had a panic attack. I didn't even get the chance to find out if I liked your songs because I had to keep worrying about getting kicked in the head. And Trophy Eyes Music, the official account, just replies, fuck you.

Is there a better advert for a band? Yeah. That is excellent. So I've had a listen. Quite a fun little band, Trophy Eyes. You're going to be predisposed to like them after seeing that. Yeah, exactly. You just have to be anyway this has been

the Luke and Pete show we'll be back with our reactions to the coronation for some reason I don't know why it felt like I could be an elephant in the room

by the way right okay but in the words of Trophy Eyes fuck you the luke and pete show is a stack production and part of the Acast Creator Network.