The Luke and Pete Show - The bum squad

Episode Date: January 2, 2023

Happy new year! Luke and Pete kick off 2023 with a tight eight minutes on rug doctors, obviously…And just as we think this year can’t get any better, we hear about a man who got a WWI bomb stuck up his bum and we ask AI to predict what the new year has in store for the lads.Want to contact the show? Email: [e-mail] or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Good, it's Monday isn't it? You can tell when I'm not, you can see my eyes darting around. You look really furtive then, it is Monday, yeah, so yeah, carry on with your intro. Welcome to the Luke and Pete Show, it is Monday the 2nd of January 2023. Welcome to the Luke and Pete Show. It is Monday the 2nd of January 2023. Who had bets on me making it to the Lord's Year of 2023? Not you. I didn't. Certainly not. It's like that Paul Rudd meme. Who would have thought it, huh? Not me. Look at us.

Not me. Look at us, eh? Look at us. When you were, you know, very warm welcome to our listeners in this new year as well, by the way. Ah, fuck them. Thanks for joining us. When you were, say, 12 in about 1993, what do you reckon you thought 2023 was? Could you even imagine 2023?

Yeah, I'm not really a sort of look forward to, you know, what tomorrow could bring. I'm more very much apologise for today kind of guy yeah exactly never look back worry worry about my past my only future is worrying about my past catching up with me that's all are you the type of person that looks forward or the person looks back i'm constantly apologizing for now yeah i'm not even looking i'm not even looking

i'm only looking through my rearview mirror. So I'm clouting people left, right and centre, knocking them into the road. I was doing a big clean out over Christmas of all the paperwork in the house that isn't now extraneous, of which there was a lot. And I found a school leavers book in which one of my friends at the time

said he was a Bournemouth fan, which is quite rare from where I live. But anyway, he was saying, you can follow Bournemouth fan which is quite rare from where I where I lived but anyway he was saying oh um you can follow um Bournemouth's fortunes in the Premier League in the 2004-2005 season and it was like a joke because Bournemouth were in the bottom tier at the time and we were like oh right yeah of course that will happen kind of thing and then how far away is that you know 2004-2005 it's almost 20 years ago now and that's the only context that we used to look forward it was like yeah with our team we're going to do well or whether there would be

like a world cup or something like that you know so it's kind of unimaginable to the young me that we're sat here in 2023 uh still not with proper jobs all the all i think all of like the improvements incremental improvements that people improvements that people get excited about the sort of stuff that you talk to on your science on your pop science podcast where's my jetpack?

still available did you see my eyes darting around again? what's it called? where's my jetpack? I think all of those incremental of incremental improvements are just like, it's for people who are bigger boys anyway, because I couldn't drive then. So therefore, no one's going to give me a flying car. No one's going to trust me in being able to do that.

But you can drive a car now. I can now. So now I can look forward to, ooh, I don't know, driverless cars and not even having, you know, not even, I shouldn't have even bothered to learn. Yeah, the day you pass your test, driverless cars coming. Because, you know, today's record is an absolute textbook Luke and Pete organisational disaster because we were supposed to record this morning

and then I couldn't do it this morning because a bigger boy was coming to fix my bathroom. Then he was late, which meant I couldn't do it this morning because a bigger boy was coming to fix my bathroom. Then he was late, which meant I couldn't do this afternoon and they have agreed time. So we had to push it back an hour. And then you were a bit late and sent me a voice note in the car saying that you were just coming back from dropping off a rug doctor. Yeah.

So I mean... Well, I mean, yeah, but I would say that in this very rare case, your movable feasts has impacted on my immovable feasts because I did have to get it back at a certain time. I've got a couple of points to make on that. One is that I enjoy an absolute luxurious position of no matter how crap my admin is, no one really notices on this show right okay

because of your reputation you know what mark twain said you know give give a man a reputation as an early riser and he can sleep till noon you know that kind of thing and secondly i see that's a lovely that's a lovely uh turn i'm gonna steal that mark twain thanks twainy yeah uh and luke moore yeah the second the second point is that I am absolutely surrounded by rug doctors at the moment. I'd never heard of the product until about three years ago. Now everyone's using them. What do you mean? As in like people are sort of waxing lyrical about how useful they are?

Because I think the rug doctor has always been the preserve of someone who comes to your house and does it for you. But I think the rug doctor, you'll see them in a Morrison's. Yeah, that's where I've seen them in super never the nicest yeah it's never the nicest supermarkets uh but it's always the best diy stores so so i i um what i mean by that is so you are the third person inside a week to mention the use of and returning of a rug doctor the first was the lady across the road from me who's just had an extension on her house yeah and um i saw her in the street where i was getting in my car and she mentioned it our downstairs neighbor was came knocked on my door and said there's gonna be a lot of noise

because we've got the rug doctor in uh and then you now you've mentioned that sounds like a horrific sexual move could have been sorry uh we're gonna make some terrible noises because the rug doctor not for me to pry is it person's home is their castle mate i'm not gonna get involved thank you for letting me know is that a coded invite is it more no it's more and the pampas grass outside is is a mere kind of uh volvo what happened was um what actually happened was she knocked on my door and said um are you aware of a rug doctor in the area and i said give me a minute when i got my costume on knocked on her door said here i am she went that's not what i mean awful that's not what i mean i think but i i think um are they particularly

louder than any other um oh it's a very loud hoover beat it's a very very loud hoover it's just a bit it's a normal hoover but it's's slightly bigger, slightly wider, with a beater bar in the bum. Yeah, and is it liquid-based? I believe it's liquid-based. It's liquid-based, yeah. It fires not domestos. Don't do that. Don't put domestos in the rug, Doctor. You'll fuck it up for everyone else

who uses it after you. You wanted white carpets, didn't you? Well, you've got them now. That's so clean. So, the only thing you need to do with carpets, and this is a fact. I'm an expert in this particular field, so take this as gospel. Rug doctor? When you move into a new house, get new carpets, and don't worry about them. Probably change them every 10 years.

Okay, yeah. Because you save money that way. If you're getting the rug doctor every six months that's building up an expense there just get new carpets every ten years I'm struggling to say I wouldn't really have anywhere to store it but having a dog

and certainly the dog that left us last year who loved a puke just absolutely loved it that wrestler puke uh just absolutely loved it um yeah i think with i think i'm struggling so i think i mean they must be come at some point where this it's more it's more financial it makes more financial sense to buy one outright i don't even know where they sell them yeah but you've got a

story and they're massive aren't they yeah and it and it sound and it they've got little counters on the back to say how many you know hours it's been turned on or minutes or whatever and so i do worry that it would be a hell of a thing to try and fix you'd have to fix it quite a lot and you need specialized tools etc i don't think there's a person in the world that needs a permanent rug doctor in their home no i've got a spot cleaner that's about but that's just for spots little wee spots yeah i just i just use um i just use a as a vanish product for your carpet for stains which has got a little brush included which actually works very well it's like um you spray it on it and leave it to dry and then you kind of brush it off and i've yet to find a

stain that hasn't been completely sorted by that we're like Kim and Nagy I'm absolutely delighted we're starting 2023 with this chat like Rory we can't see him in the record because he's producing

but he's got the camera off he's tearing his hair out I've done this prep for you for 2023 great way to start the new year rug doctors for 8 minutes we're doing 8 minutes of rug doctors

clean up your act clean up your act for crying out loud. I think it's a privilege to have your own home, Peter, and be able to employ a rug doctor to clean it. I also, so we were talking about this the other day. You were saying to me, I think I'm right in saying that the smell of new carpets is a beautiful smell.

And you don't always get to experience it because you don't always have new carpets. So for you, the morphine or the methadone, I suppose, to the heroin of a new carpet smell would be a Brillo pad that you shove in your face and sniff it. Correct. Whenever I get a new packet of Brillo pads, the soft, spongy material right up the nose. Yes! That's good. It's something else. It's transcendental. That's good it's something else it's transcendental that's good it really is wonderful that is good this is the good stuff as you're doing it looking out the

kitchen window you just catch the neighbor's eye and open the window and go and what and what and what yeah keep walking keep walking keep walking because i'm sniffing here here. I'm actually getting new carpets fairly soon, so I'm excited for the new smell. I hadn't really considered the new smell because I'm essentially driving myself to distraction, bringing myself out in hives just by so often now noticing how much stuff is on my existing carpets

and trying to work out the logistical nightmare that is how you get new ones in? Just tie little balloons to all your stuff. Good idea, actually. Should I do that student prank on myself where you stick everything to the ceiling? To the ceiling, yeah, just for a bit, yeah. That'd be great.

That's actually worked really well. The cats will think they've mastered gravity. I think the best thing about getting a new carpet, and I've never done it personally because I've always lived in rented accommodation, but when the man comes and stretches the carpet onto the spikes, you know what I mean? It's impressive work.

Pulls it into the corner with those stretchy things. I mean, it's a beautiful discipline. It's great. Done properly. You see see a guy and i've witnessed this personally you see a guy he looks into your room he sees the carpet that you've purchased he then like without any explanation rolls it out uses a really fucking sharp knife and slices it all up into bits and then lays it down puts it in stretches it puts it in stretches it it's like watching a master baker at work kneading his dough and all the rest of it it's a very very enjoyable thing um i've got a lot of time for it although i haven't said that the last guys who

fitted my carpets here were absolute con men they genuinely tried to rip me off of quite a lot of money right but they didn't get away with it peter because you got to get up pretty early in the morning for me because i'm obviously running with one of their stanley knives and go on then i'm sniffing the brillo pad first thing they were like this guy's mental don't mess with him he's mad he's full of chemicals so yeah it is a beautiful thing and so but you must be are you a wooden floor man? Because I'm not a wooden floor man. And we're dying out as a breed, the us non-wooden floor people. Right, okay. Well, I think we've got carpets in the front room and on the stairs. And that's just where the dogs love to puke.

I mean, it really is a red rag to a bull, a yellow puke to a carpet. But they're fine now once you've once you you know as long as you employ a rug doctor every now and again but no the rest of the house is uh is wooden um we've got we've actually got underfloor heating in the loft conversion um that's not the one you put your foot through is it no that was the airbnb no that would oh more on that later actually give me terrible uh electrical issues um the uh yeah no i think so so that that's quite useful but um i i, I think that's quite useful, but I'm saying

it's quite useful. Sorry, what I mean to say is it's not useful at all, because even in the coldest days, which we're experiencing around about this week, I'm using it and you just get too hot and get dried out, really. It's alright in the morning, but in the evening, you don't want underfloor

heating, it's too hot. I don't't think i've ever no one's ever cracked this the heat the house heating conundrum in my view so my my kind of aversion to wooden floors is it's just too drafty and too cold and i can't be bothered with it um now maybe underfloor heating you know sort of deals with that i'm not sure i've never had underfloor heating sort of deals with that. I'm not sure. I've never had underfloor heating in my home because obviously I'm a strong and loyal working class man until I die. So I won't ever go near that kind of stuff. But on the heating thing,

I've never had a home where you've like, I've never sat in my house and gone, it's been the perfect temperature in here for two days now. It's never happened. Right, okay. So I'm either putting the heating on because it's too cold It's been the perfect temperature in here for two days now. It's never happened. Right, okay. So I'm either putting the heating on because it's too cold or I'll go fucking hell, it's boiling in here and turning it off. And there's nothing I can do in the middle.

I can't get anything right in the middle. No, nothing, never. Have we not got like, could you not set like the temperature? You know, the Celsius correctly or something, right? Yeah, I do. I do that. But still. Well, do it go down?

Well, so some days you're up and some days you're down, basically. Well, and also I've got my wife of Italian heritage who's just always cranking it up. But I'm very much like, but I think it's always like a bit of a misnomer that people from cold areas like the North East, take your top off, show how much of a big fucking bloke you are. People from the North East, take your top off show how much of a big fucking bloke you are

people from the North East I find have very warm houses because they're just like well outside's outside, I can't control that but I can certainly control how warm my house is and it's bloody tropical Is that what your house was like inside? When you'd grown up?

Yeah, pretty much Well my dad's a cold-blooded animal and he likes it quite cool but um yeah and and my mum was very warm apart from the draft that came when the seacold van smashed through the living room exactly which ironically you would have thought okay well there's more fuel there in the house now but yeah exactly there's also a massive hole in the living room wall um yeah i I wanted to shout out our listener friend, Andrew. I'm not sure if you saw this, Peter,

but he wanted to make us aware of the 88-year-old Frenchman. This is a great way of starting the year. I don't care what anyone says. 88-year-old Frenchman that got an entire hospital evacuated because he walked into A&E with an unexploded World War I bomb in his anus. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, that makes it sound absolutely massive. And it is in the pantheon of things you should shove up your arse. It is massive, but it's still not like a Scud missile massive. So I can understand why they've done it, because it is perfect to get up there, but it is very

girthy. But you mean the shape? Yeah. Satisfying shape. I mean, that would be satisfying because the way that it tapers as well, you know, it would be like... Quite sharp at the end though. Well, yeah. Yeah, I guess so.

Far be it from me. I'm not going to sit here and tell people, other adults, what to put and not put up their bot bot. It's up to them, right? If you're going to cause yourself a mischief, that's on you. But when it's kind of unexploded ordinance, to me it feels like you're making other people's safety decisions for them. And I don't think that's fair.

Yeah, I guess so. It's almost like drink driving right if you want to get pissed at home do it yeah i mean do it in a forest or something don't do it in a heavily built up area if you know for a fact you're the only person within five square miles and you want to have a beer a beer and then drive your car or an off-road vehicle yeah it's not the same as driving it for a town yeah same with the bum up the bum but i mean i guess like with you know prostate you know hitting your prostate and stuff i mean apparently it has you know explosive um apparently explosive uh say again apparently what are you saying apparently apparently well i'm not i'm look there's lots of look i've i've i've i've filled with whatever I need to fiddle with.

I haven't massively toyed with the thing, using the word toy, toyed with that area massively. But you fiddle with what you need to fiddle at the age you're at now. You know what you like. Yeah. Look, I'm on the main course still, right? Maybe when I get older,

I want to try a vol-au-vent or a cheesecake. You're very much on the on the grilled chicken and roast potatoes part of your uh exactly yeah yeah yeah i'm still on that journey i don't need sustenance i can get kinky after 50 but yeah i think i think if you're if you're expecting uh an instant orgasm from something cold and steel like smashing into your prostate imagine as you just crescendo your whole body explodes like that's got to be up there with the greatest sexual

bit of adventure anyone's ever experienced that's like an asphyxia wank like times a million isn't it yeah and also you've also got to add into the mix that the man's 88 years old the man's a purist what can you say you know i'm not being you know i don't want to be too way to go i don't want to be you know overly crude but yeah you know i'm sure not sure you're kind of when you're 88 you're kind of everyday functions

are quite the robust shape that they have been you know in your 20s you know your bladder doesn't have the elasticity in your 80s no 20 does in your 20s, I'm sure. So it can only be the same thing for the bowel as well. And the guy is still going for it. He's like the Cristiano Ronaldo of... Insertion. Yeah. But I think with him doing that, you sort of go,

well, I just presume that as an 88 year old man if you put something up there it's going to fall out again exactly I'm surprised that he's got the muscular make up to maintain to keep that up there I suppose also when you get to a certain age as well you're not embarrassed about anything anymore

you say whatever you want, you do whatever you want so he probably just wandered in and said sort this not like you know when you get like oh there's a bloke in his 30s who had a bottle of tomato ketchup

shoved up his bum and had a condom on it and he tried to make an excuse and that kind of apocryphal tale this guy's gone in for none of that

he's 88 he's waddling in he's going sort that out I've got to go down the bookies this afternoon so get it

get it squared away for me so how did so presumably there was like bomb disposal guys there was doctors involved it's just very no one is qualified for that operation no one there's no manual in bomb disposal in surgery

in any kind of triage medically that says this is what you do when this happens. That doesn't happen. It's a little bit Jack Bauer. Yeah, it is. It's a bit like I've got a ticking time bomb up my bum. If I was chiefly responsible for the A&E on that day,

the first thing I'd say to that 88-year-old patient is, you've made this happen and there's no precedent here. So I'm flying by the seat of my pants now. There's no manual. I'm going to do what I think is best, but the outcome is on you. So apparently, luckily, it all came, it all popped out, no problem,

and he moved on with his life. Lovely. It's a great way to start the year, I think. Popped up the Ukraine, gave it to Zelensky, went, there you go. Don't ask where it's come from it's a token token of my appreciation token of our appreciation well that's not even the half of it um let's have a break when we come back i want to do um hopes and fears for 2023 and i also want to

quickly round up we asked our listeners to do the top five peak moments of 2022 so we've got to run those down as well and I'm sure there'll be plenty more besides so we'll see you on the other side of these very important messages and don't skip them you little bastards We're back with the Luke and Pete show. We're talking about the future and what

2023 will hold. I think one of my major predictions Luke is that we will be beset with even more artificial intelligence crafted art, video, and writing, and podcasts as well. There's a guy called Slim that we both know who has spent the last couple of days

putting together AI-created podcasts, basically. What? You know that big open AI prompt thing that people were using last week couple of days uh putting together um ai created podcasts basically what he's put you know you know that big open ai um um prompt thing that people were using last week where they were making everything with artificial intelligence yeah well he was feeding that into a speech to um speak sorry text to speech uh module in in in an adobe package and so he's just released um a load of um released a load of podcasts um from the uh where she's basically he just basically made made a lot of podcasts out of nothing and he's called it uh ai bradbury

right like um ray bradbury yeah the science fiction writer yeah so he's used the ai to make a podcast uh and um each part each episode takes about 30 seconds to make and some of the subjects, and they come out of nowhere, is one man turns into a pube and goes in a toilet, a man who can't stop eating grapes, the film adaptation of the Spectrum ZX video game. These are all wondery shows. I know, but that's how it's going to work.

So I found this OpenAI thing, and I've put, like, write a tagline for the Luke and Pete Shaw podcast. Nice, yeah, nice. And I've clicked go, and all I've written is, the funniest show on the internet. We could have come up with that.

Yeah, easily. But just keep it simple, though. Keep it simple. Yeah, terrible. Absolutely dreadful. My friend who I play music with sometimes down in Surrey, I just go to his place and we muck around a bit on the old musical instruments.

He used the open AI stuff to do songwriting, like lyrics and stuff like that. And the stuff it comes out with, there's kind of a spookiness to it, right? Yeah. songwriting, lyrics and stuff like that. Right. And the stuff it comes out with is like, there's kind of a spookiness to it, right? Yeah. And he basically jokingly calls the little band we play a Notre Doom. Right.

Just because it's a funny name. And he basically chatted into the AI thing. He typed in, please write a short gothic horror story about a band called Notre Doom. They style themselves as a doom metal band that doesn't play doom metal, right? Luke sings and plays the guitar.

Mark plays the guitar and the bass sometimes. And Robert plays the drums. And it's the handsome one because he's obviously called Robert. Please write a story about the ghost that haunts their rehearsal studio and chanting their instruments, which come to life and eat the band one by one.

And then the AI instantly came back with a full short story about it it's mad isn't it which ends with mad it's crazy i'll give you the last um couple of powers i won't boy with the whole thing but the last paragraph is the guitar and bass wrapped themselves around luke and mark suffocating them as they screamed for help robert tried to fight back with his drumsticks but the drums came to life, pummeling him until he was nothing more than a bloody mess on the floor. In the end, Notre Dame was no more.

Their unique sound silenced forever by the vengeful ghost that haunted their rehearsal studio and their fate served as a warning to all other musicians who dare to defy the rules of doom metal. That's amazing. It's actually decent. I've definitely read worse stories than that.

So I've put in write a tagline for the Luke and Pete Show podcast and it's come up with a few different ones. Two guys, one podcast,

endless laughs. Bearing in mind that the computer has gone out and found out what the Luke and Pete Show is, knowing it's two guys,

one podcast and, you know, why did they mark it as endless laughs? But the funniest show on the internet was another one um we've got the funniest podcast around uh this one real friends real conversations real laughs that's great it's so wang but it's funny it's lovely it's lovely p, Peter. I think if you can't take joy out of a soulless algorithm, repeating back to you facts about yourself, what can you take joy from? When I looked up...

Synopsis. I'm going to get him to write a synopsis. Do that. In the meantime, I want to say to you that, because we've been doing this show for so long, I think pretty much every year I probably look at what the trends are for the upcoming year or what experts

or futurists or whatever you want to call them think of the year. And this year, really, every single fucking grifter, and it is a grift, was basically just talking about

Web3 and crypto. Now, I was thinking to myself, that must be what they said last year. That must be what they said last year. Oh, what they said for this coming year? Oh, right, okay. Yeah, I mean, that's...

Yeah, I mean, with all the best will in the world, they've done nothing in a year. They've just done nothing. They've employed people who used to work in really high-up kind of video games, for example. I think a guy who was in World of Warcraft, quite high up in Blizzard or whatever, and he's joined a NF.

He's joined the Bored Apes metaverse bollocks. And it's just, I mean, there's still a lot of money in that pot, inexplicably. Not as much as there was, but there's still enough money and enough kind of... People are, you know, they're up for it still. Didn't one of the heads of the big game studios last year do a whole keynote and just spent the whole time

talking about crypto and everyone was like, what the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, I mean, they're all, I mean, it's just a way of, you know, emptying fans' pockets, I suppose, with very little artistic expression needed. So someone, I was in a meeting the other week, just before Christmas, and someone who was present in the meeting is kind of was in a meeting the other week just before christmas and someone who's it was present in the meeting is kind of involved in a way of you know using crypto to finance

different projects and stuff and he was saying that a lot of brands are secretly involved in all this stuff they just haven't publicly announced it because they don't want it to backfire on them at this point yeah particularly after the sam bankman fried thing yeah i can see that by their time basically um do you want to uh do you want to hear a quick lucas pete show synopsis from an ai this is the future of podcasting the future podcast so before you before you say it tell me how it actually works what are they doing they they're scraping all of our shows are they scraping all of our shows and and and basically creating a new um you know show synopsis effective go for it i mean so that's that's why it's kind of like it's it i i think this year will be a real battleground for uh intellectual property in the

ai space because um there's a reason why the ai is able to train itself on art because the art exists. So people can have their art ripped off and redesigned and reimagined through the eyes of an uncaring, unthinking computer. But it's going to be a very interesting year, I think, for people who are trying to sort of maintain their own artistic integrity in this new world. Anyway, write a Luke and Pete show synopsis. Here's the synopsis. Just pulled out of its arse,

right? Luke and Pete are two best friends who love to make people laugh. They host a weekly podcast in which they discuss the news of the week, share funny stories

and interview guests. They are also always looking for new and exciting ways to make their show interesting and entertaining for their listeners. Apart from that, that's the last sentence.

It's cock on. The last sentence massively undermines the rest of it. Yeah. Oh, here we go, here we go. Luke and Pete is a show about two best friends, Luke and Pete, who live together and share everything from their apartment to their thoughts on life. The show is based on the real-life friendship

between the co-creators Luke Null and Pete Holmes. Is that a podcast? Is there a Luke and Pete show? With Luke Holmes and Pete Holmes. Sorry, Luke Null and Pete Holmes. Pete Holmes. Is that your real name? Pete Holmes. Yeah, I don't know. Luke Null is a Saturday Night Live

guy. And I think Pete Holmes is a pretty good stand-up of some repute why does it say that we share everything uh i don't really know i think they've got a little bit confused between i think they think we're different luke and pete's basically they say they share a passion for comedy and love to make each other laugh in each episode they will take on different challenges and adventures ranging from making their own tv show to going on just to going on on the ai on the ai thing and i do want to round up the show today with your our listeners favorite peak moments of 2022 so we'll do that in a minute but

um on the ai thing when you're talking about intellectual property and the rest of it like what i found really interesting was a while back i stumbled on the internet across an ai generator that did jack Jackson Pollock style paintings so obviously Jackson Pollock does these paint flicks right and they're really famous and everyone knows who he is and this work I think

I personally find quite affecting I think it's quite interesting the idea and how he does it and all that kind of stuff when I saw the AI generator Jackson Pollock style paintings I think probably because I knew it was done by an AI I just didn't really

like it in anything like the same way but is that like that's quite weird though isn't it I mean if you didn't I mean fundamentally if you didn't know that it was I think at this point in time there's this animation size side of there's this animation side of...

There's an animation package, basically. I forget what it's called, but they automatically... The TV show, is it Black Lotus or Blue Lotus? White Lotus. White Lotus, there you go. I knew it was a good one. Black Lotus, Blue Lotus and White Lotus. White Lotus, yeah, exactly.

Well, look, in the AI space, you could make a Black Lotus and a blue Lotus, I imagine. But a white Lotus. You typed in Home Alone 2 white Lotus intro, right? Yeah. And what came back was this fully formed, 30-second musical and visual intro video in the style of the White Lotus TV show.

Yeah. You know, quite simple, really. Yeah. But it had characters from Home Alone, from Kevin's brother to the wet bandits to everyone else. Yeah. But it just looked like the White Lotus intro.

You know what I mean? Yeah. But we're at this point where you can tell as soon as you look at something that it's ai generated and you don't reckon that's a bit too clever yeah so at some point we will reach a part where we we can't tell the difference and and then it gets very very interesting i think but at this moment in time they do create some beautiful stuff but i think that beautiful stuff is going to get very very boring very quickly and you can really

tell AI art it's really obvious yeah that's what I was thinking and I think also to save your because I mean look

myself and the listeners know that Home Alone 2 they're actually the sticky bandits not the wet bandits but whoa I thought

it was the wet bandits as in like oh in Home Alone 1 they were the wet bandits it's just called Home Alone mate in Home Alone 1 they were the wet bandits it's just called Home Alone mate in Home Alone the first film

they were the wet bandits because they turned all the they used to stuff the sinks and half the houses the wet bandits why are they

the sticky bandits because I think didn't they I think they put loads of like tar on their hands or something didn't they to try and steal things

tar on their hands or something quite light on details are we Mo, aren't we? Well, not as light as you. At least I give them the respect that their name deserves. So I've just typed in I mean, this is endless.

Something Pete Donaldson would say. And it's come out with, that's a real banger, mate. But we all know it should be goodness me. Probably, yeah. That's a real bomber, dude. I mean, I don't know where they're getting this goodness me probably yeah that's a real bummer dude I mean I don't know where they're

getting this stuff from that's not even AI generate a random sentence that a perceived young man would say

that's a mighty fine looking automobile you've got there it's not AI it's a lot of fun but it's still you can tell

there's some kind of fucking you know Wizard of Oz controlling this at the back end alright before we go I do want to do the top five peak moments

as voted for by our listeners of 2022 and what I'm going to do is I'm going to count down from five to one Pete and I just want you know some reflections

of those incidents now they're in your rear view mirror you know you're kind of starting to look forward apologise apologise for the present. These kind of events that have perhaps typified the last calendar year for you are now receding into the distance, what you think about them. Number five from Lescott is Pete saving kids penalties

while wearing a haunting Queen face mask. Yeah, that was a fun day, I thought. Jubilee, wasn't it? That was Queen's Jubilee, yeah. There were some absolute pearlers. And I don't think as many were caught on camera as I would have liked, to be honest. But, yeah, a good time was had by all. I can still smell the mask.

It's, yeah, a real treat. Respectful of the queen given what later happened to her it's all it's gonna happen to us all luke gonna happen to us all yeah it was but i'm worried that people are going to amalgamate the two incidents and go look how this disgusting man celebrated the queen's death by dressed as her saving penalties a sport she didn't even like you You don't know that. That's true. Number four from Tom, Pete's appearance on that Wine Bar advert,

mouthing the sentence, jet fuel can't melt steel beams. That was fairly recent, actually, and very, very enjoyable. That was fairly recent. I think you've got little guys in Leon C, and so I worry that whatever I do in this town, people might find out about it on the show quicker than i'd like yeah that's fair enough i think also the great thing about that video was it was a real easter egg because you could just watch the video which was an advert

for a local wine bar oh there's pete and his and his partner in the uh in the video that's nice i know him that's quite quite interesting yeah then you reveal that what you're actually saying is jet fuel can't melt steel beams and it becomes a delicious easter egg for everyone who's in the know but it doesn't it doesn't it doesn't hinder anyone else though it's not it's not denigrating the restaurant they're never going to know yeah okay very nice moment i thought um number three this is one of my favorites right which i completely forgot about uh from tim who says uh p Pete almost getting peer pressure into buying a pub. Yeah, I mean, I will say that since that happened, my neighbour has bought himself yet,

he's sort of invested in another pub, which we're visiting tonight. So he's got two pubs now. So I think that part of his life is sated so i don't think i'll be asked again you must have some regrets though you must have some regrets no not at all i'd hate to be a publican it's awful but if you if you're a part owner just walking behind the bar grabbing yourself a hiney yeah but i could do that now i've got so much booze like i i don't know we had somebody visiting the house every day and i

was like i'm gonna probably have to tidy up all of this booze because like there's a lot of booze in the house but because i don't drink it in the house it never gets drunk so it's only for parties and stuff but so we do have like a lot of i've got two bottles remember that gin that was really popping from marks and sparks last year with the little light in the bottom and the little flecks of snow or whatever like i've got two of those fuckers. Who's going to drink them? Nobody. And everyone knows where we got it.

Everyone knows it was last year's gift. Why have you forgotten how much our business partner loves a drink? No, I should just rock off. You could have just present after present after present. I'll just put it in a big bucket. I'll mix it together. Yeah. And over it won't go.

So, look, there's no regrets that you didn't actually buy a pub. No, no. Is it in your future, do we think? No, none whatsoever. Okay, fine. It's the last thing you need me involved in. Well, I disagree with that last bit, but very nice. Number two from Jimmy.

Pete going into the loft of an Airbnb and putting his foot through the ceiling. That was a brilliant moment. of an Airbnb and putting his foot through the ceiling. That was a brilliant moment. That was a low point for me, but I think I could possibly go into the roof restorations business. I think every time, it will make me think to not do that again.

So in many ways, I've improved. I think if you've genuinely learned a lesson, I'll say, one, that is the very first lesson I've ever seen you learn, right? So I reserve the right to be sceptical about it because I don't think for one second the next time you go to an Airbnb

you're not going to go on one of your mad exploration missions, which you definitely will. Oh, I'll always explore, but maybe I won't be running around on a really fragile roof slash ceiling. Well, that's progress. I think we can all agree. Number one from Ben and many, many others.

Nothing will ever beat the turtle on the paddleboard incident where, of course, you thought it was a beautiful turtle you were paddleboarding with because you didn't have your glasses on. It turned out to be a floating pear bobbing in the sea. Yeah. I still don't know why there's a pair in the sea sorry I think it brings up I think more issues than it answers I think it does I

think people often overlook the fact that there's a humble pair bubbling around in the middle of the what Caribbean Sea yeah but I mean the moment itself is great it's a bonus one here as well because we asked about this on Instagram we got a little bonus quote which I loved a comment on below the photo of you and i standing next to each other from felix who literally just said pete looks so tiny pete looks so tiny pete looks so tiny looks so tiny tiny look so pete looks so tiny i don't know why I said that. You just look like a normal-sized man. So I have no idea why I said that. There we go.

So that's 2022 wrapped up. We're looking ahead to 2023 as well. Of course, we'll be back later this week for more of this. So do get in touch. I think what we need to do is get people in touch more on the old email, on the social media, hello at lukeandpeach.com, with anything you want us to talk about, anything you've heard that you'd like to elaborate on,

or just to get in touch. We'd love to hear from you. That is hello at lukeandpeeteShow.com with anything you want us to talk about, anything you've heard that you'd like to elaborate on, or just to get in touch. We'd love to hear from you. That is hello at LukeandPeteShow.com. We are at Luke and Pete Show on all the social medias, well, the most important ones that aren't, you know, the least tedious ones, Twitter and Instagram, basically. It's here. Yeah.

I'm going to, to finish the show, I'm going to write into the OpenAI Playground app, what will Luke Moore do in 2023? Looking forward to this. I could do with some ideas. Luke Moore will continue to play football. That's not true. That is absolutely, I can guarantee you that will not be the case.

Yeah, yeah. Just continue. What about yourself? Do yourself while we're here. All right. Pete Donaldson. There is no definite answer, but it is likely that Pete Donaldson

will continue to work as a journalist and broadcaster. Journalist. More accurate. Journalist. Well, it is more accurate. It confused you in the football look more. That's actually happened to be on a live TV show

before but that's another story maybe for later lovely see you later on farewell everyone ta ta The Luke and Pete Show is a Stack Production and part of the ACAST Creator Network.