The Luke and Pete Show - The Flaming Fireballs Alliance

Episode Date: March 1, 2021

On today’s show, Luke and Pete discuss plastic gloves, flaming fireballs and a stupendous amount of skittles before we take a trip down memory lane and into some dodgy workplace stories.Elsewhere, the boys chat all things DIY after Pete inherits a squeaky old park bench, and we make a final decision on who the real sidekick is. Don’t miss out!Come and get involved over on our new Instagram page @lukeandpeteshow where there's loads of additional content being uploaded! Or drop us an email over at [e-mail] with your latest funny news for the boys. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

it's the luke and pete show it is monday the first of march pinch pump for the pinch punch first of the month luke moore you haven't done that for a while probably a month that's why you're out no exactly well it's a shot i wasn't expecting to do it now but because it was such a short month i was expecting to do it on the right about the third but i blindsided myself a little bit and now I went fifth of the month. Terrible business. I think it's also right in saying it's bad luck

to do it after midday. Oh no! We're in big trouble, Donny. Is it a bit like April Fool's Day? Oh yes! What is it with that and midday? What is it with people and these kind of things and midday? That's what I want to know. I think it just gets tedious for people.

I've had enough of this now. Once a month's enough and I can't even get through a whole day of that. Correct. Correct. That's exactly right. How's your weekend been? I saw the dog you had access to and you were out for a walk, I think maybe yesterday.

Yeah, yeah, that's true. What was I up to? Yeah, I went for a walk, I think maybe yesterday. Yeah, yeah, that's true. I was, what was I up to? Yeah, I went for a stroll. We've inherited like a little park bench, which is a lot of fun, quite simply. A lot of fun. As good as it gets, is it? Tom fun style.

And it's all rotten. So what I did was I got on my little scooter and traveled to the land of hemel hemstead and i bought myself a big bit of wood i hadn't measured it properly with a with a ruler or anything so i was literally playing it by ear actually not literally it doesn't make any sense i was figuratively playing it by playing with it by and uh yeah i um i uh fixed the the bench i was quite pleased in my work, quite frankly. I've got some kind of...

Has anyone sat on it yet, though? No, because I've applied oil to the unpainted parts of the bench and therefore just to protect it from the rain, protect it from the elements, Luke Moore. You and my dad are peas in a pod. My dad didn't make any benches. I know.

He loves to make a bench. He's all about that. It's good, isn't it? Yeah, I'm enjoying it immensely. uh yeah we it it might be all right it might not be all right we'll see how we go it it very much depends on how hot it's going to get in the next couple of weeks i think pete if you're this chat this is as people know this is an unplanned half an hour twice a week we you you're a companion to people we live the same lives as them and all the rest of it but i think if your opening chat is going to be this red hot so every show i think we should think about doing a cold open well just go straight into it go straight

into it and then maybe a few minutes in then go it's the luke and pete show he's pete i'm luke he's been messing about with a big old bench, quite frankly. But look, it was a lovely weekend. This is exactly the sort of thing you're supposed to be doing. I bought a belt sander. I bought a black and decker workmate. I had to put it together myself

and I could have done with a black and decker workmate to put the workmate together. It was quite busy, quite difficult for me this weekend. I'm exhausted. Your carriage must be absolutely bursting at the seams now.

Oh, Luke, it really is. All the stuff you've got in it. My little elliptical trainer, my little weights bench, and then just all of the boxes from Amazon. Pete, we've got a few little bits to do with people before we get into the show proper, just to bring people up to speed. So over the weekend, or it might have been earlier today,

producer Nat popped an Instagram story out there trying to answer the question that we posed to each other last week, which was, who is the real sidekick to this show? Because, Pete, you are an award-winning or at least an award-nominated sidekick from down the years. I think you came second in a top 10 once, didn't you, of radio sidekicks. As we know, I've never been nominated or won anything at all ever before. But on the question, who's the real sidekick,

103 people said that I was, and just 78 said that you were. So I'm officially the sidekick of the Luke and Pete show. And Soup Sandwich on the Instagram commented, I came for the Pete and I stayed for access to the Luke, which is fair enough. And Vish, our friend over on Football Ramble, voted that I was the sidekick. So he obviously feels very strongly about that as well.

So how do you feel now being officially the main presenter of the Luke and Pete show? And would you prefer the name to be changed to the Pete and Luke show? Well, I mean, because that would work. Pete and Luke show as an acronym or initialization. Well, it would be an acronym, wouldn't it? It would be PALS. So that would kind of work.

I mean, it would be inaccurate at best, but it would kind of work. I'm glad I've got Vish on my side. I'm glad I've got him well trained but yeah it's um i'm so happy that uh that's me being um sidekick du jour sidekick uh of choice for a lot of people um it's kind of translated to me being the head honcho on this uh on this what do you think of good psychs just help me out here because you've got experience in this and i'm i'm i've had this sort of recently bestowed upon me. So what advice can you give me to become a successful sidekick to you? Well, obviously, I'm in my name on a friend of the Looking Peach Show,

Alex Zinn's Breakfast Show on XFM. I'd work with others like Lon Laverne, Paul Tonkinson, remember him? Tonks? Still find him? What's he up to? Yeah, he's on Twitter. I saw it last time. I saw him on a tube,

and he was saying how much he regretted having to leave XFM, and he thought that him and Mark Haynes could have done a really great show, ignoring the fact that I was also on that show. It's a little bit rude. So I'm obviously not for everybody when it comes to being a sidekick. But, yeah, I mean, the thing about the sidekick is you're always the underdog, aren't you? People will always gravitate to your cause, to your side,

because they think it's somehow subversive. It's a very British idea, is it? Nobody wants to hang out with Ryan Seacrest. They want to hang out with, I'm trying to think who Ryan Seacrest's friend is he was like the big kind of swinging uh mama jama on the uh on radio out there and obviously he did um pop idol and x factor and stuff like that he was obviously the guy who hosted that um so he was like one of the biggest names in in the world at one point and obviously his stars faded a little bit since then but yeah everyone wants everyone's on the side of the sidekick because the the main host is usually quite egotistical and arrogant and stuff like that so therefore you're always going to go to that so

then they become the main host you know what i mean so they're the reason why people so that's why i'm not saying people were listening to me back in the day for that reason it's an easier job to be the sidekick obviously it, it's an easier job. You don't have to do the hard stuff. You don't have to do the hard sell for anything. Yeah, but I feel like people are subverting the whole process then because I feel like I'm the arrogant, loud, noisy one, and you are the underdog that everyone loves.

So what's going on here? We've inverted the sidekick time continuum here by making me this. I'm happy to be it. I'm very, very happy to do it. The pressure's now off me, and it's very very happy to do it the pressure's now off me and it's incumbent upon you to do all the furniture and all the organization of the show alongside i i i kind of uh spent uh another thing i did over the weekend was i found uh this you can see it on camera you may as well describe i'll describe you can describe okay let's have a look

this is hang on he's just disappeared here he is can you see can you see this oh. He's just disappeared. Can you see this? Lordy. It looks like a massive slinky. It's a load of CDs on a rope. Yeah, it's a load of CDs on a big rope. And I found them in the garage. That's how I keep my CDs. What was the garage?

They haven't got any protective cases they're just on a big string um and they're really heavy and i just i just saw them hanging up and i was like you know what that's no way to treat some of my memory so i brought them inside and i thought i'm gonna find all the important stuff that the stuff to cherish my memories um and and i thought i'll copy a load of them. Oh, is this why you sent me an audio clip over the weekend of you interviewing Daniel Craig? And Daniel Craig, yeah. And Olga Korolenko, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. That was on one of the CDs, some of my old XFM work, where I literally asked Daniel Craig whether I could lick his back. Oh, did he? No, you asked if he could lick my back. He's only just met you, so no. Exactly. But I did crank calls i forgot i did crank calls on the radio i was like a modern day steve pink i was um but uh but most importantly i found an old um sony uh you know like the the the governing body of radio

awards it used to be the sony awards um and it's and it's not an award that for everybody out there uh that is coveted by anyone um outside the world of radio in fact nobody knows it bloody exists but it's the biggest thing in radio or was the biggest thing in radio and i found like a little folder on a on a cd rom uh of my like the sony radio entries for the um alex and breakfast show uh and it's literally just market it says mark haines touches a boob um staff don't listen uh and shit bags that's all and also alex pooed in iceland and that and that was the sony radio entry for that yeah so if you're a fan of clash of the titles or wrestle me no we didn't even we didn't even chart quite frankly but it did remind me of a really really good um feature that we used to do

and it's on the sony radio entry staff don't listen usually the breakfast show uh it was relatively popular in a very small subset of uh hoxton or shoreditch in london and um we we sort of figured out that a lot of people who worked on our floor and worked for our organization xfm didn't listen to the show they just didn't listen they didn't care about it we were never mentioned in like pr articles and stuff it was always about someone else's show and we realized that a lot of people on our floor didn't like us so we would literally every hour go right pr jemma eblers emma jibla jemma eblers something her name was um you've got a phone in within 10 minutes or you're in big trouble and so we would just basically call

out members of staff who weren't listening to the breakfast show how many of them were calling none of them uh they would only call him because someone else had heard it like the boss had been listening for to shout at us for whatever we were doing and then they she would he would call jemma and go right ring in now because they're talking about you i used to work at that same company then as well and i didn't listen no exactly but these were people who worked for the company it's ridiculous yeah but the problem was i think where i worked we had to look after all the different stations and so i think we had to rotate the the station we listened to if you are head of music if you are head of music or head of content xfm you should be listening to the x did i tell you did i ever tell you the story about how

um one of my jobs when i actually had the job when i came back the second time was actually working specifically on xfm i had to work i worked for this um little section um i can't what it's called now but it was like it was like an xfm club for like industry so people who it would be like advertisers who bought adverts on xfm or who had been a friend of the station in some way would um would basically get special treatment and one of the special treatment things they would get would be something like i don't know, like priority tickets to live events or whatever. And they all used to get one CD a week, right?

And my job was to just to make sure, no, a month, one CD a month. And my job was that they used to, was to actually go and source the CDs, find out from what CD they wanted and get it posted out to them. And that was like a big part of my job. Anyway, one of the guys who worked there, one of the big decision makers, who shall

remain nameless, said, don't buy the CDs for the CD club people. So there'd be 150 of them, right? Don't buy the CDs for them through the radio station or through the company card. Please buy the CDs from them by walking across leicester square into hmv and use my credit card because i want the air miles right so he probably ended up spending about i don't know like seven eight hundred quid a time on the cds that he wanted his air miles on his credit card so he would give me his credit card and i would go over there with my with my shopping list buy all these cds with his credit card. And I would go over there with my shopping list, buy all these CDs with his credit card,

and bring them back in bags into the office to manually post them out. However, one month, it triggered a fraud warning on his card. And they said to me, excuse me, Mr. So-and-so, can you please step this way and answer some security questions with the bank there on the phone? And I was like uh it's not actually my card and they were like okay wait here a minute and i basically to cut a long story short i had to call him and say if you don't come over here personally now they're going to call the

police right yeah and he came over but in the meantime they just cut his card up with scissors oh they did not because the bank told them to instantly so well that's another thing luke i i know exactly who that person is and i'll tell you for now one of the other things i found on one of my cd roms over the weekend was a picture of him topless being uh being carried aloft someone's shoulders covered in guinness so there you go was it me carrying him you might have been in the picture yeah you may be he's got a big fella so it won't be impossible for me to carry him but there you go that's a trip down memory lane what other work memories do we have also we're i believe i've been told to tell you that we're all looking for life hacks at the

moment right life hacks we want to hear your life hacks peter you've got one a few weeks ago involving uh you had one involving eggs and coffee which i found absolutely baffling at the time and i still don't understand the eggs in And I still don't fully understand that. Put the eggs in the coffee. You don't need any expensive percolators or your French press. Just let the eggs do their work, quite frankly. And I think not only that, it's quite a nice sort of like idea that like we're not just talking about things to get you through your washing up or things to get you through your house clean. We're talking about like being able to save a bit of cash here and there as well.

We're not talking about thievery. We're talking about a meal deal you like. We're talking about what's your favorite order at the high street chemist or coffee shop. Yeah, email us in, hello at lukeandpete show.com. And another one, for example, would be our friend John Hillcock, Peter. He posted something on Instagram the other day of using, instead of using a filter for his coffee,

he was just using simply a piece of kitchen roll. Good kitchen roll, though. It was like a bounty. You see, it's Blitz, wasn't it? I'm a Blitz man. Blitz is the best one. Love a bit of Blitz. So thick.

You use Blitz. So thick. You use Blitz. So luxurious. Yeah, they're bigger than the usual Rolls, so it's quite hard to sort of get it home from Waitrose on my scooter because that's my life now. I'm Jamie Oliver. But, yeah, it's a difficult one. But, yeah, I think, for example, I thought of one.

When you get your hair dye, you get some free gloves with them. So you don't need to buy your plastic gloves that week for your surgery. No, but surely you're using that for the hair dye, otherwise you'd get hair dye all over your face. Wash them off, mate. Wash them off. I was able to buy 50 pairs of rubber gloves off the internet. I'll answer your next question in a minute.

For, I think, like $2 in a minute, for I think like 2.99. It's astonishingly cheap. And I was buying them because I was going through a phase of making fresh turmeric drinks. And if you want a great turmeric without gloves on, you are a fool. You are a fool. It's as simple as that.

What happened? Does it turn red? Does it touch your BP and it burns? Your hands just go orange. Your hands are like you've just smoked 100 rollies a day for 20 years. I thought you were going to fill it with loads of gloves, plastic latex gloves with warm water and then put it on your leg

as if a lady's touching your leg. That's what I would do if I had a lot of them. That's a life hack that I'd like to get involved with. By the way, Peter, how are you approaching the lockdown haircut situation? Because you've got quite the skull at these days and I want to know what you're going to do about it. Luke, you know exactly what I'm doing

because you've clearly caught a little peek. Look at that bad boy. Look at that. Oh no, it's come out. Me ponytail's come out. You look like an aging samurai. Yeah, I'll take it. Look, I will absolutely take it.

The kanji for samurai, the Japanese writing symbol, you know, like these really complex kind of things and you need to learn 2000 just to read a bloody newspaper. But the sign for samurai also just means respected job. Does it really? That's brilliant. Big, isn't it? That's a brilliant translation.

Respected job. That's fantastic. And why are you a man who, if you don't mind me reminding everyone, who is 40 next month walking around with a ponytail in your hair just around your house? Why am I doing that? Yeah, yeah. Well, my hair's too long and I can't get a haircut

and I'm flirting with growing my hair out and just sort of say, look, I may be 40, but the follicles are still in there, still kicking. Are you worried that if you were to shave it off completely, it won't grow back? No, I think I'd be all right. I think I'd be all right. I'm doing all right for 40. Everything else is hurting and screaming

and there's a weird sap oozing out of my orifices. Before we go to a break, I want to let you know about a fireball, basically a meteor, that burned up over Cheltenham the last couple of days. Oh yes. I believe it nearly hit

the always excellent Kelly Wells' house. Did it really? Yeah, she's right in the middle of the what do you call it? The subset of villages that it nearly hit. A subset of villages? The subset of villages.

Apparently they're just there are basically some fragments that have broken off and they are likely to have fallen just north of Cheltenham out towards a place called Stowe-on-the-Wold, but most likely on farmland. So get yourself out there if you're near there and go and have a look. I realise you just outed Kelly Wells and where she lives.

Apologies, Kelly. And they've said, oh, if you do go out there, just make sure you get a clean bag and some... And apparently the recommended thing to do is get some aluminium foil to wrap them in so you can keep them... So they don't get contaminated too much because people want to study them.

But the reason I bring this to the table is because I had no idea about this there's an organization called the uk fireball alliance who just go around trying to find fireballs as best they can how do i become a member of that well i mean what's their job i mean presumably they don't get the information at source i mean nasa probably go kick your head down everyone who lives in cheltenham um we've got we've got some um pernicious projectiles coming in hard yeah i don't really know where they get their information from where they get their intel from how you become a member whether it's a front for some kind of superhero organization and then nothing about it i would if i if that was my that was my job to come and collect, right,

and if I knew people were coming to collect these bits of comets and stuff, I would find one and just cover it in something weird, like fucking strawberry jam or something, and they'd be so confused. They'd be studying it for years. Why is this covered in this sticky kind of strawberry-flavored juice? What's going on there they they um there's a big debate i mean we talked about this maybe a couple weeks ago and someone emailed in quite irately about avi lobe who's this harvard um astronomer and astrophysicist who says that

you know he's trying to essentially lead the charge into getting more funding for the search for extraterrestrial intelligence and the first ever um um what's it called interstellar object came into the solar system and a few years ago called umua mua and it was long and flat it looked like it might have been man-made and people were losing their shit about it and they were checking it for radio thing radio signals and everything but they didn't find anything but the point being um imagine if that did come from the solar system they found people found it and it just had like mushrooms growing on it or something that'd be epically good or the word tits written on a sharpie this is just confusing yeah someone just spray painted

on it classic all right let's have a little break peter when we come back from our break we will do some of your emails uh that have been emailed into hello at lukeandpeachshow.com. And we've had some belters, so don't go anywhere. This week at Sukarnov. On Clash of the Titles, things got a little awkward when Alex, Vicky and Chris discussed the Incredible Hulk going to the hairdressers. Have you ever had a haircut?

Hang on, that is not what I asked for? I can't remember what it's like to go to the hairdresser. Oh God, sorry, sorry. That's triggering, sorry. That's on me. Bad move, bad bit. Yeah, that is on you. Absolutely.

I didn't, I forgot. I forgot. Because we haven't seen you for such a long time. We forgot you've got no hair. I'm still bald. Yeah, it hasn't grown back magically since we last spoke. And over on Football Ramble Presents, the On The Continent team have been keeping you across all the European knockouts, He's having a spoke. And over on Football Ramble Presents,

the On The Continent team have been keeping you across all the European knockouts, as well as a possible title race in Ligue 1 as well. Icardi can be so frustrating because he can be just one of the most impressive finishers. But, you know, when he's not quite on it, he's kind of like the David Blaine in football. Like, he spends a lot of time in a box not doing anything. Find Clash of the Titles and Football

Ramble Presents on your favourite podcast player and listen now all that and a whole lot more at Sukarnov we've got an email address it costs a

couple of quid a year to keep going so you'd better use it it's hello at lucanpeachshaw.com if you want to get in touch you can also get in touch via the instagram and also twitter as well there are so many great avenues uh both uh free at source for us and not so free at source uh that i recommend you use i don't want to get you too far through the curtain about our how much our administrative overheads are no tell them tell them it's a couple of quid a year to run a mailbox guys so use it guys use it and cherish us the great thing is we bear all that fee 100% the fee ourselves so the cost to you guys remains absolutely zero exactly fill your boot enjoy it

just the time taken to write the email that's what it costs when i was saying they weren't The cost to you guys remains absolutely zero. Exactly. Fill your boots. Enjoy it. Just the time taken to write the email, that's what it costs. When I was saying they went overhead, it reminded me of the Flight of the Concords TV show, the first series set in New York. And one of the songs, he's talking about kids in the Far East making trainers, sneakers for pennies. But why aren't the trainers very cheap? What are your overheads? They really made me laugh.

What are your overheads? Why are they still so expensive? It's like in extras when they make a little Ray doll of Ricky Gervais' Andy Millman's character in the sitcom, within the sitcom, where when the whistle blows, Ricky Gervais' character doesn't want them to make it because they're being made in sweatshops in China. And his agent goes,

well, the thing is, they've been made by children. It's their perfect, perfect audience. They're probably having a way of a time mucking around with these little dolls. And then Barry Fries then just goes, well, I hope it doesn't distract them from their work because they'll probably get a beating. Oh, dear. Oh, dear.

Anyway, emails, hurtlookatpetshow.com, as Pete and I have already said. I want to clear up, Peter, if it's all the same to you, I want to clear up some good road names, some place names, some road names. The UK is very good for it. We should definitely share the wealth. So Simon, by the way, Simon, whose name himself is Simon Oak, which is a fantastic name. Strong name.

He says, after the subject of close by oddly named streets to where we live came up on a podcast, I thought I'd email you about some of the roads near my house. Within a two-mile radius of the village of South Anston near Sheffield are the delightfully named Pocket Handkerchief Lane, Penny Piece Lane and Worry Goose Lane. Oh, that sounds a little bit like a place where you'd get your pocket watch stolen. Just sounds like people sneaking around, checking out your pocket.

I'd be very upset if I didn't see a worried goose down Worry Goose Lane. Simon, thank you for sending that in. He says, keep up the good work. As a listener from day one, it seems your unique blend of shit and shenanigans is right up my street. Who provides the shit, Pete? And who provides the shenanigans, do you think? I'm your shit.

I'm Shynola. Got to know the difference. Got to know the difference. Got to know the difference. That's important. Ian's also been in touch. So I just want to let you know that I live less than four miles from Dick Place in Edinburgh. My parents live less than half a mile away from it.

And Dick Place also happens to lead on to Cuman Place, which I guess if you read it a certain way could be Cummin Place, which always used to amuse me walking home from school thanks for that ian thanks ian um hello to who've we got here ali dalo lovely old job hello uh so glad you enjoyed digging deeper into my email last week about the chimpanzee war never have i seen something before that just screams luke and pete like that story however i'm emailing for a different reason this week i'm going through your back catalogue and on the first of june 2020

in your episode leave your facts at the door you talked about a story of two french boys finding some gold bars in their nan's house that had been there since the 1960s the dream look more the dream find a big chunk of gold and when talking about the value of these gold bars luke made the throwaway comment saying to spend all the money on skills now this annoyed me because for a couple of days i kept wondering uh just how many skills those two bars could buy you so i worked it out good work ali darla i've been wanting to read this for a couple of weeks uh but i haven't got around to it but according to the story each gold bar was worth 52 000 euros which could be converted into 89, I think cracking on for 90 grand in UK money. If you're buying Skittles from Sainsbury's,

190 grams back for one pound, I know you can buy near enough 90,000 bags, which means you would have 17,611,776 grams worth of Skittles, 17 and a half tons worth of Skittles, 17.5 tons worth of Skittles. And the closest accurate measurements I could find online for the weight of an individual Skittle was just over a gram each. But Ali does give us the full number. This means that for that amount of Skittles, it's going to be made up of 16 and a half plus a Lord, million individual Skittles. Not sure what to do with that information, but it's put my mind at ease.

So imagine in your home, in your loft. Do you have a loft in your home, Luke? I do, a very sizable one, actually. Lovely. So you probably could fit 16 and a half million Skittles up there. I like the idea that a gold bar is worth 16 and a half million Skittles. I mean, what Ali could have done is just emailed that, couldn't he? Yeah.

Yeah, we could have probably could have just surmised the rest. He didn't have to go farther than that, Ali, but thank you very much. Do you know how they polish? I presume it's the same with Skittles. Have you seen how they polish Smarties? No. Come on, tell me about this.. Do you know how they polish? I presume it's the same as Skittles. Have you seen how they polish Smarties? No. Come on, tell me about this. How has this never come up before? When they, I am reliably

informed that to polish a Smartie at scale, you put them in a big skip and you just give them a little jiggle. Ah, okay, so they rub off each other. They rub off each other and, yeah, they become shiny. That's not bad, is it? I think, Petey, it makes perfect sense because when you and I rub off each other and yeah, they become shiny. That's not bad, is it? I think, Petey,

and it makes perfect sense because when you and I rub off each other, we do have a very lovely shine afterwards, don't we? We do. It's merely sweat and lube, but either way,

it's a sight to behold. It's shiny from a distance. It's shiny from a distance. The world looks blue and green and the snow-capped mountains white. That's what we do up in the attic. Pete and I rub off against each other to shine ourselves up in my attic and then we tuck into as many Skittles as we can with our tops off.

Careful you don't fall into the cavity wall. We haven't got insurance. What I would like, Pete, can I just further encourage this behaviour from Ali? Ali, if you're listening, which I'm sure you are, what I want you to do for the next phase of your Skittles project, and it is a project, is to roughly work out of that

16.5 million and change, as our American cousins say, Skittles, how many of them are each respective colour? Is it a perfectly equal split between all different colours? How many of each colour are we seeing? Is one color more prevalent than the other because red is a more popular color than say yellow we need answers to

this and if anyone else listening wants to weigh in and bring a yet more information to the skittles project please do so please get in touch with any other information about the shining of other confectionery perhaps your parents take a lot of Valium. I don't know. Get involved. What? I'd say like, what? How do they? They have a schedule, don't they? I guess they do, yeah.

The chat about the use of Valium in the United States in the 50s and 60s is absolutely mind-blowing. Oh, it sounds brilliant. It is mind-blowing. There's a man who on more than one occasion has popped a couple for a long flight. It just sounds like a lovely way to live. As a man who on more than one occasion has popped a couple for a long flight, it just sounds like a lovely way to live. Yeah. Take drugs, kids. You're surrounded with a lovely warm blanket of existential bliss until the plane lands and you realise you've got to drive home.

Yeah. And you've wet yourself. I would also like, finally for now, Ali Dala, I'd quite like ali to figure out and let me know precisely how many of those 60 and a half million skittles i could eat before i died yeah i think i am 12 stone you might turn a certain color first maybe maybe i'll turn all the colors of the rainbow my tongue would certainly do that so so the other thing about that type of stuff is that I believe

there's a load of food dyes and colorants and different bits and pieces that are absent from British confectionery, but they exist in American confectionery because the laws are different, right? Yeah. So if you eat like Cheetos in the US, you get your hands to get all orange, like turmeric, because they use a particular uh coloring that's banned in the uk and so i wonder whether alex i sorry ali when you're working this out whether you need to take into account american ingredients british ingredients because for

example m&ms are completely different in the u.s they taste completely different so the recipe is obviously different these are all things you're gonna have to work out before you even move on to the next line of confectionery. Get the Skittles right first. I think, Pete, you could probably eat... How much do you reckon you'd get in a bag? I reckon you could probably eat... I reckon you could eat 500 Skittles.

Yeah, okay. If you had to. Yeah, I reckon I could probably do more. I reckon I could do 1,000. I mean, I would die, but I reckon I could get 1,000 down me before things started to go bad. My brother-in-law ate 58 chicken nuggets. That is an astonishing amount of chicken nuggets.

And my mate Phil ate seven of the 10 targeted filet-o-fishes before he was sick. So all these things are, you know, you can't reach for the moon here. A lot of these things are possible. Has he really got a drink yeah yeah well exactly i wonder how many um how many calories you can eat how many calories an average human being can eat before they die right okay but i mean most like proper like swimmers and roars and stuff they take on an astonishing amount of calorific content, don't they? Yeah, they're burning it off.

It's difficult for a lot of – some top athletes, it's difficult for them to get enough calories that they need, I think. But that's why they use gels and all that kind of stuff. But listen, I'm off for a calorie-rich gel myself, so we're going to wrap up here. We'll be back on Thursday for more of this nonsense. Hopefully, you would have heard from Ali by then. But if not, send us your emails in yourself.

Hello at LukeandPeteShow.com. Perhaps they'll be confectionery themed. Perhaps they won't. Either way, they'll all be welcome and we will read every single one of them. And don't forget, more importantly, it's absolutely free to send an email. There's no cost to you, the emailer at all.

Pete and I will bear the brunt of that cost ourselves. That's a Luke and Pete show guarantee for as long as the show exists, Pete. Can you back me up on that? Yeah, we'll see how we go. Once you start getting out of an office, you'll know what's happened. Exactly. Sorry, mate. Never rule out a revenue stream. That's business number 101, isn't it? Sorry.

We'll see you next time. Alright then. Bye. we'll see you next time alright then bye