The Luke and Pete Show - The humble blacksmith

Episode Date: September 5, 2022

We’ve sent Pete into the world of Game of Thrones and it turns out his origin story is pretty epic. We present to you: Donny, the finest blacksmith in Westeros.Pete’s staying humble though, as his new title doesn’t stop him from reading out your emails. We hear about a lady who mistakenly ate the products in Lush and a listener who accidentally became TikTok famous.Want to contact the show? Email: [e-mail] or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the Logo Patreon I'm Pete Doulton and I'm joined by Lukey Moore and I can only see roughly 25% of Luke's luminance

and ambience simply because I am forgetful and I forgot my spectacles and I'm wearing sunglasses. You're wearing sunglasses inside?

Indoors, like I'm fucking Lou Reed. People who don't know you will think that you're pompous and arrogant. People who do know you will think... Will think you're pompous and arrogant. No, they won't, because you're not like that at all. I'm the arrogant one of the two. That's why this show works. Peter, how are you?

Happy Monday, my friend. Are you into the swing of things in September yet? No, I think it's disgusting that it's September, to be honest. I'm absolutely gutted we're in this situation, to be quite frank. Do you think young people listening to this will think that old people always say stuff like that? What? They don't like how quick it's going. Yeah, but the kids just want to wish everything away, don't they?

Do they? Yeah, they want to sort of like, oh, I wish I could count it down to ten. When I was a kid, one of my really good friends, David, if you're listening, Dave, hello to you. David. Bloody good lad. He used to always say,

so we used to moan about having to go to school, obviously. So he would come and knock on me and we'd walk to school together. And on the way through, we'd pick up my mate Jimmy he's still my best friend now because he lived on the road on the way and then we would always talk about

oh I've got to go to school and I would always say I wish I was 21 I could go drinking I could hang out with women I could do all this great stuff and my mate Dave You'd do one of those things

Yeah it's turned out You did one of those things Yeah it's turned out I don't really do either of them but my mate Dave always used to say no no what you want to do of those things yeah it's turned out you did one of those things yeah it's turned out I don't really do either of them but um my mate Dave always used to say no no what you want to do

is you want to be three again right everything everyone looks after you everything's great yeah do what you want yeah

you can't do any work you can just eat food and watch telly and play around but the thing he was right no he was right he was right

but the things you have access to at three you're kind of level it's very samey isn't it access to at three, you're kind of level. It's very samey, isn't it? You don't care because you're three? Yeah. Would you want to go back to three and know everything you know

and be like one of those weird child prodigies because you're so clever? I already was that, mate. I was actually put in the gifted bit for the first year of school. Right, yeah. You get put up, yeah, yeah, me too. What, you really?

Yeah. What about your asthma? What does that mean? Well, it means you might not be able to do as much. It wasn't like a... Is that why Gemma was dating you for a bit?

Because I was... What? She was a cradle snatcher. No, I mean, was it because you were very clever? I've always punched over my wit when it comes to

how clever I am. But at my school, well, I disagree with that, but at my school it wasn't comes to how clever I am. But at my school, well, I disagree with that. But at my school, it wasn't cool to be clever. No, no. But when you're wearing glasses, it's the only route. You were a really cute kid, though. I've seen pictures of you as a kid.

You were really cute. Regularly, our WhatsApp groups will be, the WhatsApp group picture will be you on the back of an elephant, or you with a chimp, or you as just being really cute as a young kid. I think I probably just looked cute because that elephant was fucked. But what I was going

to say to you was the question is was Gemma into you because of your mind? Well, it wouldn't have been anything physical unless I made that very clear.

So yeah. Why? Pigeon chest? The one thing I don't have is a pigeon chest. I'm fucking in a town. I was actually thinking. I'm fucking titty town. I was actually

thinking. I'm in titty town. Nipple town. I'm like the rock I'm going to have to get him drained they're so big. Does he have to do

that? I think men from his part of the world I think it's one of the things they have a mask or something over there. Drained from what? Just

fluid and stuff. Oh right. I did actually think when I saw you in that T-shirt earlier, I thought, he's looking ripped again. Have you been working out again? No, I just put an old T-shirt on

that I had when I was slim. No, but is it the DIY that's making you beef up? Very unforgiving on the stomach. What? Wiring up a light bulb. Oh, you did the picket fence? Did the picket fence, yeah.

God, every time I look at that picket fence, I go, it's just, everything I just, everything in the house, I'll just sort of peel back a little bit of the layer and just go,

right, that's. Stop peeling it back then. That's what I say. Every time, I can see behind every little fixture on a wall,

they've always had two or three goals at it with raw plugs. They've always had like three raw plugs behind any towel rail. You're like, what's behind there? And like, right, there's not they've always had two or three goals at it with raw plugs they've always had like three water plugs behind any towel rail you're like what's behind there and like right there's about three or four little fucking drills on that wall what have they been doing practice makes perfect though every every sort of cupboard in the fucking kitchen has a different kind of screw in there just different gauge different size different length and they've

just brute forced them in every single fucking time. You own the house as well, don't you? Yeah. It's my responsibility now, isn't it? Do what you want, baby. Have you been watching, complete change of subject,

have you been watching House of the Dragon? No. Is that the, now is that the, I presume that's the Game of Thrones one rather than the Tolkien one. It's the prequel to Game of Thrones.

It's 170 years before Game of Thrones. Okay. It's because it's kind of turned up and there's not been as much of a fanfare. Is that fair? No, that's not fair. There's before Game of Thrones okay it's because it's kind of turned up and it there's not been as much of a fanfare is that fair no that's not fair there's been loads of

talk about it it's not fair there's a fair amount of fanfare fucking Game of Thrones universe of course there's been loads of talk about it

but there's no but anyway he's really good who's the big hit isn't it Paddy Considine right he's good Matt Smith okay he's good yeah

Rhys Ephans is in it okay yeah you like that you like what I'm doing with that you like where I'm going with that Okay, he's good. Yeah. Rhys Ephens is in it. Okay, yeah. You like that? You like what I'm doing with that? You like where I'm going with that? It's got a lot of good people in it. I've seen two of them in the grouch hall pissed. Have you really?

They're very much the same kind of man. Which two? Not Constantine. The other two. Slightly younger men. Probably lived in Camden for a while. Loved to party. But what's your point?

I'm just... I just... Yeah. They're very accessible to me. I mean, your point? I'm just, I just, yeah. They're very accessible to me. I mean, you don't go to the Grouch anymore, do you? No, I don't. Why not? Because it's full of them.

But you were also a young man being pissed, were you? I was, yeah. Anyway, it's a good show. Wish I was him. I would recommend it, Peter. I know you were a fan of Game of Thrones, weren't you? Yes, I was, yeah. It's Game of Thrones weren't you yes I was yeah it's kind of like

the last I think that by the last season though it was kind of one of the things the way you just had to finish it yeah because there's no

I never I watched the first season of Better Call Saul watched The Sopranos up to about season 3 I think and at that point you can kind of

just sort of give it up a little bit but Peaky Blinders season 3 just went yeah but I I'm feeling it. But I don't think you can realistically say you watched The Sopranos up to season three and then stopped

and expect to be taken seriously. Because it's probably one of the greatest shows ever. So what the hell are you, what's happening to you at season three where you're going, yeah, I'm not bothered about this now? I'm a madman, man. I think madman's really overrated. Anyway, Game of Thrones, it's fair to say the final season. Forget about it.

The final season. I'm a big gangster. Forget about it. Oh, you have seen all of it then. Yeah. The final season of Game of Thrones was received very poorly, wasn't it? Yes. If you look at the reviews, the aggregate of all the reviews,

season one, 90%, season two, 96%, season three, 96%, season four, 97%, season five, 93%, season six, 90%. Season 2, 96%. Season 3, 96%. Season 4, 97%. Season 5, 93%. Season 6, 94%. Season 7, 93%. Eighth and final season, what do you reckon it got? 70%.

55%, baby. That is a drop-off. People are so silly, though, aren't they? But it was bad, wasn't it? It was bad, but like... It was bad for me, because you spoiled it for me. I just think I just think

I just think rendering it something in the 90s gives it no room no are you saying that's the best thing I'm talking about

Game of Thrones Peter yeah I know but as in as in having it at like 93, 96 oh I thought you were talking about the 90s

no I'm just saying it's kind of like there's no room to fucking manoeuvre there is there you've got to maintain it yeah but you're not

telling me that's like genuinely a 93. Everything's, everything's 75, maximum. Everything. I do think you're on to something there.

I mean, you've framed it appallingly, but I think what you mean is everything's about brilliant old shit these days, right? Yeah.

Yeah, I kind of feel, I'd love someone to do a study on what I believe to be the decline in three-star reviews for anything.

Even like critics are bad. You never see a critic give decline in three-star reviews for anything. Even like critics are bad. You never see a critic give anything a three-star review. Because they want to make the statement, don't they, I suppose. Yeah, I suppose you're not really getting anyone to read it, are you? If you lived in the Game of Thrones universe, like Westeros, what job would you do? Is Westeros the entire map with all of the... Right, okay.

What job would I do? I'd be one of them slaves that don't get set free, I reckon. That'd be just my luck. Do you know what I thought you'd be? I think you'd be a blacksmith in the north. Oh, right, yeah. Like a blacksmith.

A weedy one. With a big hog. Yeah, but I think you'd be a blacksmith who goes on an adventure. You've been singled out for greatness. Yeah. So you're just a humble blacksmith. And that's your refrain throughout the whole adventure. I on an adventure. But you've been singled out for greatness. Yeah. So you're just a humble blacksmith. And that's your refrain throughout the whole adventure.

I'm just a blacksmith. I'm just a blacksmith. Pete, you shouldn't be out. If you've got dragon asthma or something, you can't go out in the forest for too long. You've got to come back and take your deadly nightshade or something. You're the finest blacksmith in Westeros. You find out you're the finest.

But I've lost me fucking anvil. Where's me fucking anvil? You're the only blacksmith that can work with valerian steel. So everyone you just become a huge part of it

and that's your that's your genesis that's your like big origin story. And I've got to go find my anchor. And then you end up with some wrong

and stall it. In the groucho grabbing Matt Smith go come on! You ain't gonna slay a dragon like this. I told you I saw Matt Smith and the bloke

who was in charge of the Swindon lot from the office meeting for the first time. Patrick Ballardy? Patrick Ballardy. What's he doing now? Don't know. Yeah, he's not in Game of Thrones or nothing. No, I reckon he's done some stuff.

Carry on, what happened? Does the Doctor Who man do something evil? Because I think he plays evil way better than he plays good. He's a bad guy, I think. Good. He's a bad guy. I like him as a bad guy.

Patrick Ballardy, most recently. He was in something recently, which I saw him in. Right. What was it? It was... Oh, he's in Ted Lasso, isn't he? Oh, is she? Right.

Is he? Jesus Christ. And he was also in that film Rush, was it called? What was Rush? That movie about about the James Hunt and Nicky Lauda. Yeah, okay.

He's in that as well. Right. I don't know if he's a very big part in it but anyway. My partner is very, very fond of is it? No, it's not Abby Morgan, is it? Fiona Button?

Who's that? Barry Atzmer? No, that's not him either, is it? Barry Atzmer? That's you. Barry Atzmer. Nicola Walker. She's watching quite Barry Atzma. Nicola Walker. She's watching quite a lot of stuff with Nicola Walker in it.

In them. She was in Spooks back in the day. But I think she's... Has she not kind of like massively underpinned like most dramatic TV shows? What's her name? Nicola Walker. She was in everything.

Endlessly everything. She's been she's been sort of like looking after telly for the longest time like she's been in charge of telly for such a long time I know she is

yeah she's in a lot of cop dramas she was in the split with Ben yeah do you remember Ben's playing a lot of shits

on the telly lately isn't he it's great he got wasn't there an Instagram he posted on Instagram about a an Edinburgh Festival comic calling himself Dr. Brown or something?

Yeah, he was so naughty. Did something atrocious and he had to come out and do Ben Hack. I can't say it. Not me. For your fucking start, not me. Actually, I wouldn't even, I would love someone to get me wrong.

If a newspaper ran a piece saying I did that and this and I didn't do it, we're like, fucking, ching-ching, coin it in. Hello, is that the director of that XFM documentary? I think you'll find you want me in it now. Going back, circling back round to that XFM documentary, is Alex going to be in it? No, I think it's very much the launch of it and how counter- cultural and kind of

because XFM sort of started they made the big plan and stuff and obviously they launched on the day that Princess Diana died it's not the prep you wanted really

it wasn't the day you wanted but so when how long after that so when did it actually come into existence like late 90s was it yeah

what would it be 97 was that when oh 97 yeah when did you come along 2007 I think. No, you didn't. Huh? I started working there in 2004.

You were already there. Nah. Yeah. Nah. You were, brother. No, that really doesn't make sense. 2006, I think, maybe. Okay, so I was working there longer than you?

Yeah. You were an old hand. Tell you what, no one made an impact in that sales floor like me. The tease I was making there. Because wasn't it also created by the guy who used to manage The Cure? Oh, who was that then?

Oh, there was a couple of like bots kicking around. Anyway, before we go to the break, I just wanted to mention in terms of popular culture, we posted on Twitter your moustache, which you're kind of still rocking now. Yeah, yeah. And we got a lot of response. A lot of people said you look like the weird neighbour from Friday Night Dinner. Yeah, I've had that a few Yeah, yeah. And we've got a lot of response. A lot of people said you look like the weird neighbour

from Friday Night Dinner. Yeah, I've had that a few times. Yeah. A little picture for you there. It's not... Is that what you're going for? I do like... You go for Tom Selleck

and you end up looking like fucking Mark Heap. I do like that actor. Yeah, Mark Heap. He's very funny. Will you stick with the moustache? A lot of people are asking if it's going to be

a long-term thing. Yeah, I reckon so. Okay, great. Fuck it. Keep tuned in for Pete's little hairy worm on this top lip

let's have a break when we come back we're going to do some of your emails we've got some good ones and we cannot just cannot keep refusing to read them

so we'll see you in a minute ok oh hello it's Pete Donaldson and I'm joined by Luke Merriman with bloody only good and do'm joined by Luke Merriman with bloody only gonna do the bloody Oh, Luke and Pete's show.

If this was the novel William Gibson's Neuromancer What's that? What? Neuromancer? They invented Okay. They invented

Cyberpunk, innit? Oh, okay, right. All that shit. Yeah, okay. What about it? What would you be? Well, you'd be a I like shit. Yeah, okay. What about it? What would you be? What would you be? I don't understand the question.

A robot boy. Oh, yeah, I'd be a robot boy. I'd have a cheese sandwich with cheese. It'd be Ram in there. Could you time travel in this scenario? I can't remember the book,

to be honest. Probably not. Okay, because if I could time travel, I'd like to be like in what's it called Quantum Leap right okay yeah

that'd be good I'd be like a neon dentist and I'd put wires into people's teeth yeah you would really take advantage

of it because your personality would be you would really take advantage of it and mine would just basically be screaming because you're scared all the

time and taking the time to get like taking a hundred years to get really good at a sport and then going back and showing off yeah that's what i'd do okay probably pull pull like out of all i think sam and constantly does that pull at some point one of the episodes okay anyway we've got an email it's hello at luke and pete show.com is the email address and our friend connor has been in touch. And he says, Gents, your discussion around how TikTok is monetized

was timed very well for me because at the start of the month, I posted a video I took three years ago playing Zorb football on a stag do. I had a whole two followers at the time of posting and it was my first ever TikTok post. Wind forward three weeks and this video now has 13.4 million views.

16,000 people have followed me. And I've joined the TikTok creator fund out of curiosity. Wind forward three weeks and this video now has 13.4 million views. Whoa. 16,000 people have followed me. Shit. And I've joined the TikTok creator fund out of curiosity. I joined it last week after about 12.5 million of those views had already happened. Yeah. And so far I am told I have earned a grand total of five pound and three pence. That's pretty good, isn't it?

How do I follow up? I just found this an amusing accident, so I might as well make the most of it. What shall I do? Any advice? Here's the video. It's quite funny but it's not 13.4 million views funny. I've watched it and it is fucking brilliant.

We should share it. He bumps into someone else and gets sent back about five times rather than about five times. Isn't that just basic? This is just basic Zorb football, isn't it?

Yeah, but the impact is particularly good. Is it? I thought that was pretty standard for me. Have you ever done Zorb footballing? No I'd very much like to

though. Probably break my head or something. I've never done it but he gets sent back miles fucking hell. He gets absolutely nailed just to put it on

the social media. So I think what Connor could do is he could become a Zorb football TikToker. So all his videos are about Zorb football.

Oh he's just constantly just getting you're gonna have... You've got to think of concussion protocols, though. Because if you're getting your brain sloshed around... No, but the beauty of it is

you can't see who it is in there. Oh, right. So just get other people to do it. Yeah. And just post prolifically over and over again.

Yeah. And I reckon he could get his earnings up to around a tenner. Whoa, hang on, hang on, hang on. So it looks like he's posted it twice. So you've got the 13 hang on. So it looks like he's posted it twice. So you've got the 13.6 million views one

and then he's posted it again, trying to get double bubble. He's got loads of followers for getting boinged on a zob. I think he's got, I think he's, I mean, look. I think he's killing it, mate. He's got even more views now. He's got 200,000 that he's added

when he emailed it. Right. So he's obviously, he doesn't need our help. Oh no, he hasn't doubled it. He's got even more views now. He's got 200,000 that he's added when he emails it. Right. So he's obviously, he doesn't need our help. Oh no, he hasn't doubled it. It's a different video. Oh, for fuck's sake, Peter. Sorry.

It's like a dizzy, someone's doing a dizzy, really bangs his head. There's a laddie really, oh, I don't like, I don't like to say that. You don't like to say that in the game. So those listening

may not know that Pete was very close to becoming a Vine star, weren't you, Pete? Yeah, yeah. It was you and Dapper Laughs, wasn't it? Yeah, it was me,

Dapper Laughs, that bloke who fights, who does boxing with his brother. What kind of stuff did Dapper Laughs used to do? It was just like cheeky, kind of men's rights stuff, wasn't it? Oh, come, he used to shout, I don't know. Oh, good old titch.

Yeah, and what did you used to do? What? What did you used to do? The same, but like in a louder voice. No, what did you used to do on Vine? you used to do the same but like in a louder voice no what did you used to do on Vine I can't remember because you sincerely think that you would have

been big on Vine I've never said that and never thought that I've told you before the internet doesn't like my gyps why I'm wholly unsuccessful

in everything everything I do I think of something I do it and I go it never bangs but it is good I think it's good I think it's too fringe, isn't it?

It's too fringe. It's not... Or I don't explain it well enough and I get frustrated that I've not done it right. If you had a bit of the Michael McIntyre about you, do you think you'd be more successful? I did have an idea for a TikTok. My one beautiful TikTok.

Tell us about it. Two years ago, right? Why don't you tell us about it? We'll set up a TikTok and we'll do this exact video and see how well it does okay what is it well I mean

I've been saying so I bought one of those you know those suction cup dirty bald men that you put in the in the

I don't know what you're talking about suction cup bald men that you put in your car that's got a little bulb on the end of a pipe and you squeeze the pipe and it pulls his pants down and shows a bum do you know those guys i bought one of them just for this yeah i remember you buying this actually yeah i'm walking i walk past a car

i look in and there's a little man and he goes he shows his bum off right and i'm wearing a surgical mask and i've got to do this in the next couple of months haven't i realistically and i pulled out my mask and i've got to do this in the next couple of months haven't I realistically and I pull down my mask and I've got a little bum I think that would be funny and every time I go in my office I see this little man pulling his pants down and I go

still not done that and the pandemic is on its teeth it's on its dying dying day really it's the it's the thought process that's making me laugh

but it was like it was a good it's such a COVID era joke as well you've got to move quicker than that I've got to move quicker I know

so basically you see it happen yeah it comes back to you yeah do you squeeze something as well? I reckon I just have a bit of fishing wire that pulls down my thing.

Yeah. How are you going to manufacture the bum on your mouth? Yeah, I was just thinking, would I cut his bum off? Just a little bit of latex, probably. Get a bit of latex. But would it look like a bum? I could do it in a 3D studio, maybe. Yeah.

No, that's not going to let it down, I think. Yeah. I think if you look at all the best creators, I mean, look at what happened to Stranger Things. It was all done puppetry, wasn't it? Okay, right, yeah. Yeah, it's going back to it down, I think. Yeah. I think if you look at all the best creators, I mean, look at what happened to Stranger Things. It was all done puppetry, wasn't it? Okay, right, yeah. Yeah, it's going back to puppetry these days. So I could just cut off his bum,

but then I'll have damaged the toy that I didn't want to damage. We've got to do that. Right. Yeah, don't, no, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. Don't damage the bum. Desecrate the bum. Desecrate the power bat. Yeah, because I remember you buying that toy,

and I was like, why have you bought that? Two housewives ago, yeah. Yeah, why did you buy it? And that was specifically why? I think you buying that toy and I was like, why have you bought that? Yeah, why did you buy it? And that was specifically why. And an idea for one beautiful TikTok and then I announced my retirement. So no thanks TikTok partnership program. Well, listen,

Connor has set the standard. If we can get up to 13.6 million for that, I think we'd be very happy indeed. Well, maybe we can do some water football and I can just like, I don't know, just have really watery poops and just spray it out

as I flip upside down TikTok like that? they can lump it I mean the thing about that is it's a lot of there's a lot of like there's a lot of like cyst bursting

videos I watch on YouTube but the thing about TikTok is you can you can be some kind of rampant misogynistic racist yeah and you'll be on there for ages

but if you shit your pants in a Zorb you shit your your pants in a Zorb... You shit your pants once in a Zorb and you're banned for life. I know. You are banned for life. Would you like to be deplatformed? Thanks, probably, for the best.

I'd have a lot more free time. Yeah. If they would allow me to stop being a voyeur, because I don't produce a lot of stuff for social media, so, like, if they allowed me to just... If they said, Pete, you're not welcome,

you're not even welcome to look at what people are doing. I think that would be, I would get a lot more stuff. The only hour you get off of Reddit is when you're doing this. And even then, not always. Even then,

not always. I'm always posting. Are you, are you, are you contributing to Reddit? Uh, only because, uh,

we've started doing videos on WrestleMania and Clash of the Titles. So I've been going into squared circle, r forward slash squared circle and put them on there. Sometimes they're treated with on there sometimes they're treated with respect sometimes they're just deleted for no reason like mods

and also the silly film do people on the squared circle subreddit respect WrestleMe no we're completely it's weird we're completely

we're heard by a certain amount of people but I genuinely believe in the product but it's just it's really hard to get people to fucking listen it's just hard to get people to fucking listen.

It's just hard to get people to listen. Podcasting expert Pete Donaldson there. Let's do one more email from Dave. Hello to you Dave. Our friend Dave's been in touch and the headline for this email is, it absolutely wasn't guacamole. It says, hi gents, Luke's makes potpourri

error. Those of you who don't remember that a friend of mine used to eat the potpourri at the Indian restaurant by accident. Immediately brought me back a memory of around 15 years ago. My mates and I went to Derby Shopping Centre at Christmas. You ever been to Derby Shopping Centre, Peter? No. You've been to Leicester a lot.

I've been to Derby a lot, but I've not been to the shopping centre. I've got no business there. It must have a better name than Derby Shopping Centre. They've always got really good names. I want to check out what it is. I reckon it's called something different. It's called Derbyan. What? Derbyan. What? Derbyan? Yeah, look. Derbyan. Derbyan.

Derbyan. Derbyan. Oh. Yeah. Unless he's talking about the Meteor Centre. I'll tell you what, that's two really good names for shopping. The Meteor Centre. They're trying to sort of do one up on the old Leicester Space Centre. I'll tell you what, that's two really good names for shopping. The Meteor Centre. They're trying to sort of do one up on the old Leicester Space Centre.

Don't you call your penis the Meteor? Yes, I do. Anyway, Dave says, one of the group decided this meant a visit to Lush. And while we stayed outside

to avoid the overpowering smells, he ventured in. However, as he wandered through the shop looking at bath bombs, a woman wandered past towards a central table with different lotions and potions all in bowls. It seemed to be there for customers to test the smell and texture or act as some kind of fragrant pick and mix.

He says pick and mix, but I call it pick and mix. I don't know what he's talking about. Taking a full spoonful of the green one, she proceeded to eat the whole amount before realising her error, leaving us outside half stunned but mostly laughing. She did not look happy as mistaking its guacamole visual resemblance for food. Do any other listeners have food mistake stories in their lockers?

Cheers, Dave. That's the sort of thing you would do, Peter. So hang on. It was a sentence over. Portions and bowl. Test the smell and texture. Why did she have a spoon? Where does she get a spoon? Was the spoons available?

Do you reckon Dave's made it up? No, I just think... Do you reckon he's desecrated the good name of the Meteor Shopping Centre? No, he sent in a cool lookalike email before, so... Oh, so he can't have made it up then? He can't have made it up. He's obviously got a lot on.

Oh, no, no, it was Graham, the other one, yeah. Yeah, I yeah yeah I just I just don't know why there'd be a spoon but maybe it was just a spoon just to try the smells maybe she had a spoon maybe it wasn't a spoon

she just carries a spoon around you've never known you need one it's like that Kim Jong-un me where he's like can I eat this can I eat this

everything can I eat this he's always got he's always got a spoon what's the latest with him you don't hear much about him these days I don't know

he's just the latest you heard about him is't hear much about him these days. I don't know. The latest you heard about him is the fact that when Trump stole all those documents, causing the national security crisis in the world's biggest Western democracy, and everyone defended him. Apparently a lot of it was the letters between him and Kim Jong-un, and he just wanted to keep them. Which in a way is quite sweet, and also very tragic for a man who's supposed to be the ultimate alpha male. Well, I'm not flushing that one down the toilet.

But I don't think you hear as much from Kim Jong these days. No, there was a wonderful clip that I'd never seen before and it was Donald Trump in a room with Kim Jong and he goes Is it Donald Trump? Was it Donald Trump? Yeah, it will have been. And he goes, oh my goodness

we are you going to take lots of pictures? Are you going to make us look really thin? And Kim Jong-un's just looking absolutely confused at what's going on. And I don't think, I mean, respectfully, we're not about fat shaming on this show,

least of all me, for obvious reasons. But you're not, I mean, a photograph can't sort that out for Donald Trump, can it? And the man's about 20 stone. Yeah, true. I find that odd as well because...

How does he eat KFC all day? It's McDonald's apparently. McDonald's and KFC. Yeah, McDonald's. And I think that he's what? He must be at least 75 now. Who? Donald Trump?

Yeah. Well, I mean, he's probably one of the few presidents because he didn't do any fucking work. He's 76 years old. He didn't go grey. Like, really grey during his... Of course he didn't because he didn't fucking... He's 76 one of the few presidents, because he didn't do any fucking work. He's 76 years old. He didn't go grey. Like, really grey. Of course he didn't, because he didn't fucking... He's 76 years old.

You want to go on record saying that, do you? You want to tank this fucking stack company we've got by saying Donald Trump's hair isn't real. I think that would do very well for us. If Donald Trump had a legal attempt at us, I think it would go very well for us. But my point is, he's 76. How is he still so energetic?

I know, so virile. I'm not sure about that. But I'm 41 and I find it quite exhausting just doing all the stuff I have to do. Yeah. So times it by,

I mean, how hard does Donald Trump, well, not that hard probably, but he's always doing stuff. Yeah. And he's 76 and fat. Yeah. But he's playing a lot of golf,

just dicking about. But as president, he didn't do anything, did he? I mean, he just watched Fox News for five hours a day. Played a bit of golf. Drank Diet Corks and then played a bit of golf, yeah.

It's not, I mean... Not a bad life, is it? Strange Sky News for, you know, documentaries that I like. Basically my life. I suppose I don't really play golf. Yeah. But, you know but what were we talking about oh yeah

so you don't hear much from Kim you're our kind of far eastern correspondent am I right what's the latest with him not heard out just keeping his head down I just think they're in

they're probably still absolutely covered in Covid issues I imagine I know the Russians have started formulating or formalising relations with North Korea, haven't they?

Bloody hell. Run out of buddies, haven't they? The most recent news story around Kim Jong-un is Kim Jong-un builds eight new mansions so that assassins will never know where to find them. What a life. He's got a weirdly square-shaped kind of hair. It's astonishing, yes.

It's an astonishing look. They said he was on the way out back a couple of years ago didn't they yeah but what I'm interested about I mean obviously joking aside

his regime is horrific and lots and lots of people have died directly due to him but we should definitely make that clear but with his hair

what's the what's the what's the fashion reference points he's going for uh Guile from Street Fighter 2 it looks a bit like that doesn't it it's probably a flat top kind of military hair? What's the fashion reference points he's going for? Guile from Street Fighter 2. It looks a bit like that,

doesn't it? It's probably a flat top kind of military. Because he's Western educated, right? Yeah,

yeah. So it's interesting. He probably read a Spider-Man, the boss from Spider-Man,

the boss of the newspaper. He's got that kind of hair, hasn't he? Yeah,

he's played by J.K. Simmons, who's also in Whiplash, which is brilliant. I watched

Whiplash the other day. So good. You've seen it? Yeah. It's interesting. Have you watched it again? Yeah, I've seen it before. Yeah.

I can't watch things again. It's classic because Jack from Jack's Happy Hour. I saw him last week. Oh, I fucking met Beats and Grinder. They were in. Beats and Grinder from People Do Nothing. Yeah, that's great. They were both really lovely.

It was so good to meet them. Anyway, Jack was there Jack's got a moustache as well a bit like you and he said oh yeah Fiona he's his own fiancée and she really loves

Miles Teller so I thought I'd grow a moustache and I was like Jack I love you dearly but come on and he was like

yeah I know I can't really put it on but Miles Teller isn't necessarily a handsome man get out Miles Teller I've interviewed him

I don't think he was particularly good looking really yeah I don't think he was particularly good looking. Really? Yeah, I don't think he was... No, I think he's pretty standard looking. Yeah? Pretty standard looking, yeah? I mean, yeah.

I mean, he's got his top off and he's in Top Gun. You had your top off earlier. I didn't think you looked better. I was showing you my moles. My new moles. I don't think you could... I mean, he me moles me new moles I don't think you could I mean he's a Hollywood film star

he is but you wouldn't say he was like his defining characteristic is that he's a big hunk of yeah he's alright he's alright you know

I wouldn't kick him out of bed but like what are you giving Miles Teller out of 10 who's your 10 who's your 10 yeah see

every man you get to a 7 that's like fucking who's your 10 Ryan whatever his his name is les ferdinand all in there so let's turn that's a 10 no they're sevens you can't get any higher than seven why because everyone's too obsessed we're getting too close to nine what if there are some super humanly beautiful men well then we'll adjust. All right, we will. We'll adjust when the evidence presents itself.

All right, then. Callum Wilson, Les Ferdinand. Callum Wilson's very handsome. Ryan, who's the guy I like? Ryan Seacrest. No, Ryan from the films. Blade Runner man. Oh, Ryan Gosling.

I don't think he's all that. Paul Newman. Yeah, fine. Classic. Steve McQueen. Well, no, Steve McQueen looks like a... He looks weathered. He looks weathered he looked weathered

but that's a good thing isn't it yeah that's more sex Clint Eastwood now what weird old man

anyway he's turning a weird old man I'd like people to tell us what they think about Miles Teller tell us tell us about Teller Teller Teller

is he miles better than your favourite boy email into the Teller Teller. Hello at LukeandPeteShow.com. Is he more handsome than Les Ferdinand? They're the big questions we're answering on this show. Thank you very much

for listening. We will be back on Thursday. We better get some shows in the can because we're going to New York City, baby. Oh yeah. Why don't we do some

out there then? Alright, yeah, we'll do some out there. What stuff will we have to take with us? What do you mean? A mic? She's got a mic, hasn't she?

I know that because I help to run a podcast company. I just bluff her. See you on Thursday. I don't know how to get people to listen to podcasts. You don't know how podcasts work. It's good stuff. I just get told to talk into this. Sometimes you do that.

And lo, the check doth cometh in the post. See you later. Have a great week. Farewell. The Luke and Pete Show is a Stack production and part of the Acast Creator Network.