The Luke and Pete Show - The Luke and Jim Show!

Episode Date: September 21, 2020

It’s Jim Campbell’s long overdue debut on the Luke and Pete Show! Whilst Pete’s on holiday in an unknown destination, Jim’s filling in and you’ll be unsurprised to hear that he’s taken to talking nonsense with Luke like a duck to water. On this episode, Luke and Jim are talking about some of their favourite childhood memories, including hearing Nirvana for the first time, going to waterparks and facing assault courses. There’s also a brilliant email from a listener who was taught by former professional footballer and England international, Dave Thomas. If you’ve been taught by someone of note, let us know at hello@lukeandpeteshow and don't forget to come back on Thursday for more Jim Campbell goodness.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and a very warm welcome as ever to this today's episode of the Luke and Pete show. I'm Luke Moore, as you guys will know by now, the boring one, the one that's not that fun to listen to, but hopefully we're going to change that today. The reason it's me hosting is because young Peter, little Donnie, little Diggory Donaldson's gone off on his holiday. He's not sure where he's gone, hasn't told me. But that is the way he goes sometimes and we'll hear all about it when he comes back, I'm sure. So for today and for Thursday, it's not going to be the Luke and Pete show. It's going to be the Luke and Jim show. Jim Campbell of the Football Ramble, of the YouTube channel We Like Old Adverts, of many other

things, recently heard on an amazing episode of the book of the Football Ramble, of the YouTube channel We Like Old Adverts, of many other things, recently heard on an amazing episode of the book club on Football Ramble Presents. Jim Campbell, the most likeable member of the original Football Ramblers. Jim Campbell, how are you doing? I'm all right. I'm all right.

That's a lovely intro. Thank you very much. Also, I should point out, it's like that still gives me a lot of room to be like a monster. Yeah, still be the nicest. I'm a genuinely really bad person, but I appreciate still be the nicest. Genuinely really bad person. But I appreciate that all the same.

You're welcome, mate. And listen, I think when we first started doing Luke and Pete's show all those years ago, it was supposed to be about 300 episodes or something now, there was a lot of talk of when's Jim Campbell going to be on. And it's never quite worked out because more recently we've done it on Zoom so it's easier to organise. And we used to pre-record the show so we could go away and all that kind of good stuff.

But now it's happened. You're available. Let's be perfectly honest, Jim. You know, I don't want to do you down after such a positive intro, but you do live down the road. I do live down the road. And I've got nothing on. Like, nothing. What have you been doing today?

Today? Actually, I've had a fairly active morning. I've worked out. I've been trying to get in shape like the last year or so you've done really well mate thanks man you have i lost a lot of weight and i also so you know in the gym you've got those like magic robot weighing machines yeah i call them where it works at your metabolic age yeah right i don't know how it does that well when I started, it was 47. Fucking hell. We can all agree. It's not ideal. Because you're only 46. I'm 38 for context, but I've managed to get that down to 33.

That's brilliant. So I've lost 14 years. Do you know how it works? I have no idea. I assume it's something to do with bone density and water and... I think what happens is... That sounds like a thing it might mean. They're just words, though, aren't they?

Yeah. You stand on it, and you press the button, and someone on the other side of the wall just types in two numbers. Like a cash point. There's a little guy handing you the money. Yeah, he gives you the money. So, joking aside, you've done brilliantly, and I can say this as an old and good friend of yours,

and someone who's also been in the same boat, and some would argue is even in the same boat still now. You have been fat before. Yes. Now you're not. Yeah. And the thing is as well because I'd always been fairly lucky

with my metabolism up to a certain point where I'd like had a bit of a paunch but it never got past that. And I basically, I hadn't realistically been in a gym for any sort of regular amount of time until about a year ago.

But now, so if you have a bit of a cheeky week where you don't do much exercise and you drink a bit and you eat too much, it doesn't really affect you. So you go, oh, well,

I might have another week. So this is what I've been trying to arrest this morning because I've had a bit of a slack fortnight as I'm trying to sort of get back on the... Okay. It can be difficult. Lots of people fluctuate. I'll speak of someone who does that myself.

So Luke and Pete show, basically, Jim, is an environment and an arena and a club where we can just talk about whatever we want. We can just put on the threads of the universe and see where each one takes us. Jim for the mind. Basically, Jim for the mind, yeah. But I say all these grandiose things

and that's kind of how I sold it to Pete in my 18-month journey of trying to get him to do it. And essentially, it just ends up descending on him just wanting to talk about YouTube channels he's watched. And do maybe 20 minutes on magnet fishing,

which you probably don't even know what it is, do you? No. Where people go fishing with magnets and get metal things off. Metal detecting on a canal. Yeah, basically, yeah. For example, right.

Or he's really obsessed with this thing called the lock picking lawyer which is like a lawyer who's got a YouTube channel where he picks locks so it's kind of it really is just

Pete's indulging half an hour once a week twice a week sorry why is it that I mean this sounds like a perfectly reasonable conversation

that you'd have with Pete obviously you haven't worked with him for a long time and to the point where strangers would come up to me in the Edinburgh Festival, wouldn't even introduce themselves and go,

is he really like that? And I would immediately know what they mean. We know him this well, and he won't tell us where he goes on holiday. He'll talk to us about magnet fishing, but any glimpse into who he actually is, not a chance. It's buried deep.

It's too deep. But you do get some gems out of Pete. I mean, regular listeners to this show will know that his dad, for example, keeps a necklace with a bone from his foot on it. Yeah. And that he,

Pete eats, used to eat sausages raw. My dad used to do that. So your dad's a character. Yeah. That's a great place to start, Jim. Let's bring,

if you don't mind, let's bring your dad, who's very popular in the Stakhanov universe. We've met him a few times, Ian. Lovely fella, but he is a character, your dad. He certainly is, and he's actually really similar to Pete's dad. They even look a little bit similar, don't they? A lot of similarities in eating raw sausages,

mad things like that. So what did your dad eat raw sausages, do you think? He just liked them. And what was that really bitter medicine as well? He used to just drink it. I forget what it was. It was like. Like just, I forget what it was. It was like a sort of, almost like, I forget what it was called. It was almost like a really bitter, really inky black,

sort of like a cross between cowpaw and bovril sort of thing. And he would just drink it just because he liked it. But yeah, he's an interesting man, my dad. He's a twin as well. So immediately they've got their own little language, and they're a little bit unusual. Have you witnessed that? I've witnessed my dad mistake a video of my uncle for himself. That's how similar they look.

They still look similar now? Oh yeah, absolutely. They've gone to the effort of having the same haircut and beard and clothes and stuff? Well, they've gone to the non-effort of not shaving and not having a defined haircut really so yeah they you know basically i think my mom buys my dad's clothes and i would think he's called bob as well bob's my uncle yeah married to my giddy aunt yeah and they're

builders as well so bob the builder is it is they're a fascinating collection of men um so my dad he he always used to you know a certain type of guy when they get older they their world gets smaller and they want to sort of just basically live in their house and that's yeah i think that's every dad i think it is every dad but i think my dad because he was a twin and because he worked with um other family members my nan had nine kids and so like my my aunt's husband my uncle worked with them as well so they basically kind of went outside as a family every time they were left the house it was almost in a little gang yeah and so it was a very tight-knit close circle they're feared gang i don't know i

mean my dad gives the impression that they were but like dad's like dad always says that he used to run with the gangsters and it's like i think he just used to bore them in the pubs that they were in run with them his mates his mates have got the best names there's bob the bottle yeah alcoholic obviously um cannot understand him he's an amazing bloke though buddha fat and bald obviously that one's fairly straightforward but my favorite one is nut nut who was uh a bald and i think alopecia level bald paratrooper so i think the first nut is about his hair, the second one is possibly about PTSD. But it's all like...

Oh, my God. It's just all very, very East End. Where does Hated Martin come in? Hated Martin was a guy who went to a pub that I used to drink in a lot, because I spent a lot of my time when I was younger in Romford, which is a sort of absolute nickname hotbed. There was Keith the Fish was another one in that pub he had a little skullet and a one little pirate earring and he was quite he was about five foot five always wore double

denim and you would think keith the fish you think is it because he like makes people sleep with the fishes drinks like a fish drinks like a fish no it was because he would only ever spoke about what he'd had for dinner and it was only ever fish. He didn't want to get stuck. We had, in the pub called The Seahorse, near where I grew up, our local pub, there was a guy in there who looked exactly like, do you remember the character Sex Machine from From Dusk Till Dawn?

No, I can't say I've seen that movie. Okay, so basically it's a mad, Tarantino's involved, Robert Rodriguez, it's a 90s movie, people should watch it, it's really good. And it goes off on a mad tangent I know people know that

so in one of the bars there's a guy called Sex Machine who when people kind of step to him in the bar he's got like a moustache

he's got a mother he looks down and in his leather trousers he's got like a pouch and it flips open and it's a gun and two barrels so it looks like a cock and balls but it's a gun and two barrels so it looks like a cock and balls

but it's a gun and two barrels right and he's an iconic character where I grew up because there was a guy who used to sit at the bar at the seahorse caught

that he looked exactly like Sex Machine to the point of where yeah it was but to the point of where when you've had a few beers and you're like 19 you would be like

alright Sex Machine and obviously he thought what a great nickname. Yeah, yeah. But where have I got that from? But I'm sticking with that. And he would respond to it. But I'm fairly certain

he'd never seen the movie, had no idea what it was all about. But what he knew was a load of young bucks were calling this guy who was about 50, sex machine. And he was just loving it.

It's funny, isn't it? It's quite a unique point in your life when you've just started getting into pubs. Particularly, I think, where you grew up and where I grew up are, have parallels in that you would go to like, unique point in your life when you've just started getting into pubs and you just particularly i think you know where you grew up where i grew up are have parallels in that you would go to like two or three pubs and like so you'd have the characters in there and you'd have the faces in there and like the relationship you have with those guys where you are like in some cases you're

not even 18 you're sneaking in and you get to know all these people that are like 40 you sat at the bar yeah and like part of you thinks like oh I hope I'm as cool as him when I'm 40 still living the life can I just say I am 40 and I'm not as cool as them but you know

another great example of that is in the same pub my friend Lewis everyone called him Lou L-E-W and there would be like a blackboard

where you put your name there if you wanted to play Paul and he would always put Lou, but people misread it. And they would call him Len. And he kept going to the pub and people kind of liked him

and it just went too far. So everyone knew him as Len. And this was about 1999. And it got to the point about three years ago where we went into that pub and they were still calling him Len. So it can go wrong, mate. It can go wrong.

Was your dad a boozer then? Does he like going to the pub? Oh, he loves it. He actually met my mum in a pub. She worked behind the bar and he said to one of my uncles, I'm going to marry that girl before he even spoke to her.

Did he say that though? Or is he just claiming that, backfilling it now? I don't know. Do you believe him? Based on my memory, which I could have inherited from him, it's actually a possibility

that it's not true. But I do believe him actually. He's not true, but I do believe him, actually. He's always been... They're very, very... They're still really in love, my parents, which is a really lovely thing to see. Being back at home when my brother and I come and visit for whatever reason, on a Saturday or Sunday morning,

if you stayed over, they're just really happy. And it's just a really, really lovely thing. And obviously, we live in a world where we see a lot of divorces and a lot of emotional turmoil that happens to people when people go through. And I feel very grateful that I've grown up in an environment that has that was really stable. And it's for some reason left me incapable of forming relationships myself. Because you would never look up to it. Well, I've got a few pointers here, actually.

Well, I've got a few pointers here, actually. Mate, I was going to say to you that, you know, I think I'm right in saying that the marriage success level now is higher than it's ever been. Is that right? Yeah, and you wouldn't expect it. It's quite counterintuitive, but I think it's because people meet

and settle down a lot older now. Yes. They're much more settled in who they are. Yeah. I don't know about your parents, but my parents, they're still together. My parents married, I think, when they were 19. Wow.

Which is very young, right? That's what used to happen, isn't it? I think my parents were a little bit older than that, but it wouldn't have been by that much because you would meet and then, I don't know, you'd go, do you want to dance? And then you were engaged, as I understand it. And then later that night,

whichever set of parents' house was closest, you'd then move in with them yeah and then the next day you'd have the stag and the hen and you'd get you'd drink as much as was was possible yeah and then the day after that you'd get married and then the day after that you'd have two kids in school yeah because i've got friends now who i went to school with i don't see that much anymore but they've got kids who have just done their GCSEs. Yeah. Wow.

Are they even called that now? Don't know. Yeah, don't know. How did you do in your GCSEs? I scraped by the minimum of what I needed. I very much sort of lost interest in school at like the worst time. I became like the most pig-headed, cynical teenager at like just too early if it

happened like a year later i would have got much better grades um has that ruined your life is that what you're saying well i i think it may be well i don't know because i went to i got into the college i wanted to go to anyway i studied media studies then i went off and uh did a few degrees one of which was at farmer town where i met a couple of people that I later on went to do a podcast with. You may know it. So actually, it works out, doesn't it? I remember seeing on the Farnborough College of Technology

Wikipedia page that me, you and Marcus are on the list of notable alumni. Is that right? That's how bad that college is. I didn't even graduate. Does that count? I guess I think you're on on it i haven't checked but i haven't checked recently but i'm pretty sure you're on it you definitely attended it though yeah and pete was disgusted one because he wasn't on it because he didn't go there and two because he he's disgusted by

any notion of success yeah i mean pete failed his degree didn't he because of uh library library fines yeah which must be gigantic now maybe that's why he put his football rainbow expenses in later yeah £3,000 or something wasn't it actually I've just guessed that I don't know how much it was but he put it in after

about five years but when I knew that you were going to come on the show Jim I thought what's the best way of asking or prepping you for it

and I just wrote in our shared running order and congratulations by the way because you've logged into that now officially more than Pete has which is something isn't it because you've logged into that now officially more than Pete has. Which is something, isn't it? Yeah, because you've logged into it once. I put, what are the three highlights of your childhood?

Did you answer that question? I've had a little think about it. Yeah, it's surprisingly difficult because you've put your own examples there. Do you want me to tell you mine while you're just preparing? Yeah, you tell yours and I'll get them. Mine are when Hot Rod turned into Rodimus Prime in Transformers.

See, Transformers the movie is that, right? Yeah. Because that was a big deal, actually. No, was that Transformers? Now you're asking. That was, do you mean the animated movie narrated by Leonard Nimoy? Yes.

Isn't it Orson Welles' last role? It might be Orson Welles plays Optimus Prime. Oh, does it play Unicorn? Okay, my memory on it is sketchy. This is the thing, see, Pete and I talk about this a fair amount on the show, so apparently a good percentage

of your childhood memories are wrong, or didn't happen, or the things that did happen you don't remember. So it's very notoriously unreliable, right? Yeah. So, in fact, every time you have a memory, isn't it the case that you're effectively rebuilding it, and you're retelling the story? To yourself.

So the more you think about something, actually, the more unreliable you're likely to make it. Yeah, so that's a really interesting point because when I watched that Netflix documentary series about the disappearance of Madeleine McCann, have you seen that? I saw a bit of it. Okay, so there's a bit where,

a really interesting bit, where the detective assigned to the case says a lot was made in the media about the differing stories between the couples who were eating dinner while Madeleine McCann was taken. And he said, the media picked up and said, well, the stories were all different. They're all wrong. So obviously there's something dod was taken. And he said, the media picked up and said, well, the stories are all different.

They're all wrong. So obviously there's something dodgy there. And he said, no, no, no. When you're a detective, it's exactly what you're expecting. If the stories are all exactly the same, then there's something wrong. Because that never fucking happens in real life.

People remember things differently. And as you say, tell themselves their own stories. So when we get beyond scratching the surface of these memories here, I'm in trouble. So Rodimusus prime big moment for me i say that though it's the first thing i thought of when i thought to myself what the three highlights of my childhood i still can't remember the details of it the second one and this is another one because the second one was when i went in goal for the second half of gospel

vikings and only considered one goal when the keeper in the first half had already considered six and we lost seven nil0. But the problem with that is manifold. One is that at nine years old, so I just joined the team and I said for some reason I wanted to be a goalkeeper and they put me on at half time and we were playing full-size pitch at nine

years old. Ridiculous. And I wonder now whether my memory's playing tricks on me and whether I actually conceded the six and got subbed off for someone else who came on and did well. Could be possible. Well, it could just be that for whatever reason in the second half your team picked it up and you didn't face as many

shots as you might think, but in your head it's like, well, I only let one in. But I definitely only played a half. Yeah. Which is weird. And the third one, there's a little walking bit near where I grew up called Monk's Walk, right? And it's called that because there was a tunnel from the church, I think a monastery or something, through to another part of the town. And so it got paved over or developed or something,

and then they put a lot of greenery in there. And it's called Monk's Walk, and it's just trees and fun bits. But it was an army training centre right run by a guy called Don Styler right you can imagine what you're thinking about the guy

called Don Styler at an army assault course he was exactly like that and I don't think he was supposed to and I don't think he was allowed to it's only ever

happened once but he let me and my three mates we were all about 12 do the assault course for free on our own and it was fucking amazing

and every time we went back afterwards the gates would always be closed he'd never be there we never got on there again none of our mates believed us you ever see him again? don't think so

he got fired yeah he looked like the kind of guy that would tell everyone in the pub that he was in the SAS oh god yeah he might have been

he might have been but anyway it never happened again but it was just such an amazing moment and one of the things I remember thinking a few years later

is that had I known this was never going to happen again, I would have really consciously tried to enjoy it more. It was like a proper krypton factor assault course. With like zip lines. Zip line at the end. I love a zip line. Had an amazing like weird box, which is pitch black,

that you had to find your way through, crawling through. Which I would never do now. It was awful. Yeah, but it was amazing. So they're my three. So what have you got for yours? Well, one of mine would be, I don't know how many times I would have gone to this place,

but there was a huge water park off a motorway in somewhere like Dartford called Fantasies. That sounds weird. It does sound weird. And it was weird, but it's a water park in England. Like, you're not going to get that now unless you go on holiday to a Canary island or something like that any of them exist

romsey rapids is that is that in romsey in hampshire and there was also the pyramids in portsmouth i don't know if they're still there now well this is it i don't there was uh there were rumors that it closed down because people kept putting razor blades in the slide we had that rumor as well that can't ever have been true, right? That can't ever have happened. No, you wouldn't have thought so, because how are they going to get them in there? Exactly.

How are they going to fix them in? Yeah, you're going to have to stop in... Yeah. You'd have to stop in a water chute. You'd have to, like, I don't know, how would you do that? Like, plant your feet, put one of your hands up on the top, pull a razor blade out of your swimming trunks, and then somehow fix it yeah like to the the

little bits between each bit of tube it's just not going to work is it it's not it's presumably multiple ones as well yeah i mean presumably running a water park in a country that has three months of summer is quite expensive anyway yeah and more likely to be that's why they can't afford security yeah but the thing is, you could imagine a kid... Who's done this? It's an adult, presumably. They've got trunks on, because it would have been the 80s or the 80s, 90s.

They're running up the steps to go to the top of the water slide with razor blades in their trunks, and they look down and just bleed everywhere. It's not going to work. No, it's not going to work. How would they affix them to the tube? I'm just...

Yeah, I mean, you'd have to bring some sort of like like sticky putty sort of thing yeah your dad would have some yeah he would absolutely have mastic maybe but that comes in a big tube yeah you can't stick that down your trunk that's a bad look but yeah like these they were great i love a water park even though i actually went to i went to gran canariaaria in January just before the pandemic I felt really really lucky for my first family holiday abroad since 1989

where'd you go in 89? we went to Tenerife okay so very because it was like the extended family going together and there was a water park there

and it was it was January so there was basically nobody there and it was just the best it was like being a kid again it was just amazing but that

I remember that so so fondly like I would look forward to it all summer. And it was one of those things where you got there. Well, you just go for a day. Yeah, it was just like a day out at a water park. And it might not seem like the biggest thing, but when you're a kid, you have so few worries in your life

that something like that is genuinely mind-blowing. Portsmouth Pyramids was amazing for several reasons, exactly the reason you're suggesting. It had a wave machine. But it also had, I remember loving the fact that it had a proper 90s big screen which is loads of tv stuck together and it used to play mtv the whole time you're there and you're like fucking hell mtv's on back when it had music on it yeah exactly yeah what else you got so another one actually i don't know if you'll allow this because i might have been a teenager but i would have only just been a teenager well i'm very unsure of the rules because if i

asked pete to do this he just wouldn't do it yeah so i don't know what the rules are so i'm sure you can probably have it so this is going to be it's going to sound so cliched and it is but i genuinely remember where i was even what i was wearing when i first heard Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana on MTV. And like, it was one of those properly like transformative moments where you hear a song and you go, oh my God, what is this? This like, this speaks to me. I'm a man now. Well, you actually remember that?

Yeah, yeah. I remember what I was wearing. It was the summer, so I didn't have a top on. I was wearing a pair of blue Nike tracksuit bottoms. I think that was it. How old were you? I don't know. So Kurt Cobain was definitely dead.

Yeah. So I think it might have been 1995. Okay. He died in April of 94. He did, yeah. So he wasn't long dead, but dead he was. I remember the Suns headline, Nirvana's Kurt blows brains out.

Nice. Typical sensitivity. Yeah. Laugh about that all the time. But Jim, so how do you have such a specific memory of such a specific incident? I really don't know. I think it was genuinely because, like, I really like, I loved music, but like, you know, my parents would play us like Michael Jackson when we were younger. Yeah. You know, unbeknown to what was going on.

Would your dad still play Michael Jackson now, do you think? He would not, no. Okay, right. He used to. A line has been crossed. It has. He'd play it on his record player and he'd stand by it the whole time. I don't really know why. Yeah. And he also had a Technics record player and he insists to this day that that is the best brand of hi-fi

or any sort of stereo equipment you can buy because when he bought that in the 80s, the guy in the shop said it was. Yeah. Dad thing as well. Yeah. Cling on to it. Well, I used to be thinking

I've had nothing that's made me think differently so why would I think differently exactly yeah um so yeah I think it's just because music's a powerful thing when you're a teenager isn't it I think your brain is wired differently like there's no it's very rare now that I hear hear a band or an album that excites me in the same way where you'd like put it on three times in a row in a day. Like it does happen, but not as often and not at the same intensity. But that like, I remember just,

they seem like the perfect band. Yeah, absolutely. When I was a kid, me and my friends got into Nirvana through the MTV Unplugged in New York record. Yes.

Because I was a bit younger. I was only 13 when Kurt Cobain died and I wasn't that cool. I think I was listening to... Well, I'd have been older then, yeah. Yeah, so you'd have been younger than me. You were younger than me.

I'm trying to figure out when I would have heard this, but I'm not going to do that, am I? It's a pointless line of inquiry. What day would that have been? Get that detective from the Man of McAfee. And that's how we got into it. Then we kind of worked back from there.

I think there's a lot of backfilling of a narrative that goes on when people go, oh, yeah, you know, I always loved Nirvana, you know, and obviously they became much bigger after Kurt Cobain died. But the only band I can really remember that properly changed things for me

was probably The Strokes. And I was 20 then. Yeah, The Strokes was interesting though, wasn't it? Because they, I mean, I love that album. I like The Strokes, but they're not a band who are right up there in terms of my all-time greats. But they saved music. Yeah, they're so different.

Everything was like Limp Bizkit. And like, it was, it was like, because basically Grunge and Britpop have subsided. New Metal had come along. And even that had started to get, like there's a couple of bands, like Deftones maybe, that emerged with a bit of credibility

from that genre, but not many. It was a real low point for youth culture. Absolutely. And I remember being really sorry for the band My Vitriol, who were quite good. But as soon as their album actually finally came out, it sounded completely obsolete straight away because of the strokes.

It just ruined it. What's your third one, by the way? My third one, I think my third one I think might be when I was at my friend Kieran's house and he had an NES nice

and it was my first proper experience like post Spectrum we had a Spectrum at home but it was you know they were very difficult does your dad still think that Spectrum was the best game

he's not heard otherwise yeah so yeah what were you playing Duck Hunt it was Duck Hunt and the first Mario game the first Superio so like um this will sound so like weird and hard to fathom for younger listeners i would think but actually playing a computer game system where it it just responded

to what you were doing with the controller like properly and consistently was was mad and i remember saying to my mom on the way home yeah we need to get one of those like what did she say she just laughed at me i was so young but i i'm really conscious now it's probably one of those things where you know when when a child says something in the tone of an adult because they're trying to sound grown up and get what they want i think i was probably doing that but yeah i just um it's so clear like just just lose like the time flew by you know when you're over at your mates when you're a kid and you've probably got what, four or five hours before your mum comes and picks you up

and you've got to go home, probably even less than that. It just went by in ten minutes because we were just trying to make this little Italian plumber smash loads of coins out of some bricks.

I also love that Mario is a Japanese interpretation of Italian plumbing. Why is that the most successful games franchise of all time? Yes, and people always talk on this show about this rip-off version of that game called the Gianni Sisters, which someone just made.

And back in when game development, I guess, was like the Wild West. Yeah. And you could play Gianni Sisters on the Spectrum or something. I can't remember exactly what console it was. But anyway, let's take a quick break because we're way over time because I'm so interested in what you've got to say, Jim. It's the first time I've said that to you and when we come back

we'll do some emails hello at lukeandpeachshow.com is the email address if you want to email in on anything you've heard so far today and we'll be back

a little bit later after this welcome back to the Luke and Peach Show with me Luke Moore and him Jim Campbell stepping in for Pete Donaldson

who's gone on holiday but won't tell us where he is I'm sure he'll solve that mystery next week Jim as I said before the break

the email address is hello at lukeandpeteshow.com do you want to start with the emails or do you want me to start mate do you want to go straight in

two foot in or do you want me to start off for you I mean what are you more comfortable with what do you want to do it's your house mate I'm the guest here you want to do? It's your house, mate. I'm the guest here.

You want to do one about a man who's in love with his PE teacher, right? I do, actually, yeah. So shall I just dive right into that? Yeah, go for it, yeah. Hi, Luke and Pete. Sorry to disappoint you, mate.

My partner showed me your podcast last January and after deciding that this would be my first and favourite podcast to enjoy, I had to go back to episode one in order to catch up

with all of the fun I had missed out on. After having a small break due to becoming a father, congratulations, I'm now only just a couple of shows behind, so I thought I'd earned the right to finally email in. If that doesn't quite cut it, then I'm hoping that being a Pompey resident also swings in my favour. In your episode, A Munch of Dog Food, you briefly discuss Luke's old school PE teacher playing for the local Gosport football team where students would go to regularly watch games. Well, I think I have a claim that

slightly tops this. I attended secondary school in the small city of Chichester where a Mr. Thomas was my PE teacher every other week for all five years I was there. He was a brilliant rather laid back teacher and was also the manager of the school's football team, which I was part of for a year or two. Having had numerous conversations with Mr. Thomas throughout my years at school

it was not until I was in year 10 that I learned of his true legendary status. This was when another student brought in the clipping of a newspaper article about him and his previous achievements Mr Thomas was in fact no other than the England capped professional footballer David Thomas Mr Thomas also had a professional club career spanning over 20 years seeing him play for teams such as QPR Everton Wolves Vancouver Whitecaps they always get in there didn't they yeah and Portsmouth I was absolutely gobsmacked to hear of his past and couldn't believe that someone who had achieved so much

throughout a professional football career hadn't mentioned it once to his students. When I asked him about his secret past, he was more than happy to talk about his career when asked, but was rather humble in doing so and never wanted to show off his achievements by announcing them to every class he taught. Mug.

Absolute mug. Indeed, why do it? Why even do it? You cancelled it, basically. Needless to say, I wanted to be his best friend after this discovery i regularly invited him to come watch my weekend matches playing for my local saturday league team as well as continuously asking him for pointers ahead of upcoming trials i had for two professional clubs which he doesn't mention like hypocritically you didn't say who they are yeah i can only assume that I came on a little bit too strong

sadly Mr Thomas didn't come to any of my games he just wants to go home after work yeah just enjoy himself yeah he just wants to get on

with his life maybe not suspiciously hang out with a 14 year old on the weekends I was also subsequently dropped from his school team after some time in order to make way

for some new older sixth form students I'm still a little bit salty about this to date but as an adult myself now I can understand why someone in his shoes may wish to put a little bit salty about this to date, but as an adult myself now, I can understand why someone in his shoes may wish to put a little bit of distance between themselves

and an over-friendly student, such as my 14-year-old self. Having searched the net today, it appears that Mr Thomas has sadly lost his sight, but has published a book which demonstrates his continued good nature by donating all proceeds to the Guide Dogs charity. Oh, good egg. Just another reason why he was my favourite PE teacher,

as opposed to Mr Davis, who on. Just another reason why he was my favourite PE teacher, as opposed to Mr. Davis, who on numerous occasions threw rugby balls directly at my face for talking whilst he took the register and thought that the letter S from my surname stood for shit face. Hope you enjoy the read and we'd be interested to hear

whether anybody else is being taught by noteworthy individuals. All the best, Mike. I love an email which has got a call to arms at the end. So hello at lukeandpeach.com if you've been taught by someone of note. And Mr. Davis sounds like much more similar to my PE teaching experience.

Although the guy who taught us and played for Gosford Borough was a good guy. But the thing about Mr. Thomas is that, I mean, I don't want to cast aspersions over the guy. I'm very sad to hear that he's lost his sight. And I looked him up earlier and he had a great career. He played for England eight times in the 70s. Amazing effort.

But I think it's probably fair to say that he was probably a man's man, right? Yeah. He's now 69 years old, played football through the 60s and 70s and a portion of the 80s. He probably doesn't want anyone in his grill. No. That 14-year-old just talking back all the time. He wants a 14-year-old student to be seen and not heard.

I'm not coming to your fucking games after class. I'm not doing that. Just forget it. But he's too silent to say it. I'm not teaching you because I'm literally teaching you.

Don't ask me to do extra teaching. No. Just listen to the teaching I'm doing now. I don't even want to be doing this. But I played football and I didn't earn any money.

So I have to do it. Yeah. But apparently his transfer in October 72 from Burnley to QPR was in a record for a second division club. £165,000. I'd not really heard of Dave Thomas before, I have to say. A bit before my time.

But amazing that you were taught by him. Mike, good for you. I'm actually glad for Mike, though, that he wasn't the sort of person that would go around doing that. Like just stretching, going, £165, grand this is worth come on you're slugs they would be these days what did you do you have any good teachers i did there was a guy called mr stone who was uh he was ruthless he sounds hard he was hard he was

this uh he was a welshman and he uh he made a point of keeping his accent it was really really thick accent he was an english teacher and he would sometimes stop the lesson if he asked a question and a debate started he kind he would stop the lesson and let the debate carry on so basically we would learn debating skills because we didn't do stuff like that my school we did very much the set menu yeah of course curriculum you're allowed to if you want to run a school and he was really strict to the point where my friend and i used to joke that like even as adults like if he gave us a morning run now like I'd I'd be there in the morning I'd be at the school running around the

field because I wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of him but he was a brilliant teacher and he really genuinely encouraged me quite a lot which was in stark contrast actually um to another teacher called Miss Davis so English was always sort of my my favorite lesson and my my kind of skill but I was quite uh it was quite quiet in a lot of lessons so some teachers would sort of my favourite lesson and my kind of skill, but I was quite quiet in a lot of lessons, so some teachers would sort of just miss me a little bit almost. So we had a lesson once, and I am going to go all Partridge about this because I'm still bitter about it, where we had to write a blurb for a book that we were studying at the time,

and I wrote this blurb. That's a bit on the back of the book, right? Yeah. So Miss Davis asked me to stay back after the lesson and said, did your dad help you write this? And I'd just written it. I'd just done a good piece of work. You haven't met my dad.

Yeah, you have not met my dad. No, he was... What, did you write it about Technics High Five? Yeah, all in capitals. Yeah, and I was just like, how dare you? I was so, so angry about it. And I still am. I mean, I'm a published author with you.

Yeah. I've got a tattoo of our ISBN number. What did you do at the time? I was just, I don't, I can't remember, to be honest. Any memory I have, I would be creating now, going back to what we were saying back. But Mr Stone was the opposite of that, and he really encouraged me.

So, yeah, he sort of undid that, and I'll be forever grateful for that. Did your dad write it? He didn't. I might set him the challenge, though, you should be interested i remember i remember once um people at your school were people really into i mean based on what you said and i was similar to you so it wasn't it didn't affect me directly but where people around you massively obsessed with their a levels because they want to go to university i don't remember because my school we left at 16 and went to a separate college. Yeah, same.

Separate one. I can't remember that many people being like that, actually, because the funny thing, isn't it? I think there's a sort of class divide. I think you and I grew up working class and are now middle class. I think that's fair to say. Or sort of impossible to deny, really, isn't it? Upper middle.

Upper middle. And is Marcus now the opposite? That's fair to say. Or sort of impossible to deny, really, isn't it? Upper middle. All right. But so... And his mark is now the opposite, is that what you're saying? It may be. We've dragged him down to our level. Yeah. But so I have friends who went to proper boarding schools. And at the time, you and I would have thought that they were like,

almost like the softies from the Beano. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But their experience is so much harsher. Yeah, of course. So, so much worse. Yeah, I'd hate that. I remember struggling quite badly for the first couple of weeks to adjust to university. And I'd harsher. Yeah, of course. So, so much worse. Yeah, I'd hate that. I remember struggling quite badly

for the first couple of weeks to adjust to university and I'd been like 19. Yeah, yeah. So some kids go away to boarding school at eight, don't they? I don't even know if that's still legal now, but they used to.

Yeah, I mean, a friend of mine, a comedian called Tom Horton, he's done a lot of really good stand-up shows about exactly this. He was telling me about some kid who was tied to the lamppost

on the entrance to the school on some sort of parents' day, so his parents would see him stricken. It was all complete psychological terror, as well as all of the physical stuff. But what fascinates me about that is that they all loved the school. They were all really trying to achieve highly and do well for the school. But for me, I never had any of that sort of pride.

And I think I was such a little self-absorbed dickhead. I was going to be in a band. Right, yeah, of course. So it didn't really matter. I'd go to college. Yeah. But, you know, I'd just kill a bit of time while I'm in the band. Do you know what?

Speaking of boarding school, I've got a friend who will remain lamest. He's a really good friend to me, although he lives in the US now. And he went to a good boarding school, but he went on a scholarship, right? And I think whatever the version of the scholarship is for boarding school, but his parents weren't wealthy or anything. But he was sent away to it for high school. So it would have been from 11 years old through to whatever.

And I worked with him for a few years and he became quite a good friend of mine. And a couple of his pals visited London and we all went out for some drinks, like a load of us. And one of his friends was from boarding school, right? And we were just chatting about it and I used to take the piss out of him sometimes

for going to boarding school just because he was obviously boring, but, you know, just to have a laugh at work or whatever. And he'd take the piss out of me for being poor or whatever, you know, that kind of stupid shit. And I remember in the pub after a few beers,

I took the piss out of him for his boarding school as a joke and his mate from the boarding school tapped me on the shoulder and went, no, no, no, don't say that.

He's seen things. He's seen things. That's all he would say. And I was like, fucking hell, I had no idea. I had no idea what he meant. It wasn't referenced again.

Didn't reference it to my mate because, you know, didn't want to. Didn't want to rake up old graves and yeah it never kind of happened again so is that what

goes on at boarding schools oh the stuff that goes on in boarding schools that I've heard about from a couple of my friends is like it is years and years of psychological torture

like where it is not always not for everyone I think everyone has to exist within that ecosystem don't they and obviously

that's the worst case scenario if you for whatever reason for whatever unfortunate reason, end up at the bottom of the pecking order. But they were telling me about a thing, I think they call it hazing. That's what it's called in the US, for sure. They have this thing, or this version of it, where if there's a first year or a new kid

who they see them as being a little bit above their station or being a little bit cocky, what they do is they do nothing. And then they spend months and months researching this kid. And then they'll bundle him into a form room. All of the kids that want to take part in this will stand in a circle. They're not allowed to touch the kid.

But they will fling insults at him. And it's not over until he's crying. Oh, my God. So if they're there for two hours, it'll be like... That's what we did with Rambo, wasn't it? Yeah, that's the initiation. Except we got Vish and Jules and Kate and Andy in.

Yeah, and they wouldn't break. Who would have thought it would be us crying? I'd have cried about 10 seconds. I'd be crying while doing it. Yeah. I would never do it. But it's that they'll find,

like, they'll find out about, like, sick relatives or, like, really genuinely awful stuff. Where'd you hear about that? From my posho friends. That's how you know you're middle class now because you've got posho friends. sick relatives or like really genuinely awful stuff where did you hear about that from my from my posho friends that's why you know you're middle class now

because you've got posho friends you know I've got a friend called my mate George he's a bit older than us and he went to Borden school on the Isle of Man

and and he he maintains that one night him and his pals broke into one of the school teachers offices or rooms

or whatever because the school teachers like lived there and stuff and stole a bottle of whiskey. And they were about 15 or 16 and he got dared by his mates to down the whole bottle of whiskey. And the next day, he did it, the next day

when he went into an exam, he suddenly realised he'd completely forgotten Latin. And that's what he says as a story that actually happened. He failed the exam because it basically wiped a part of his brain that learnt Latin. That's amazing. So by contrast,

my dad tells a story about how he was, this can't be true, but then the past was brutal so maybe it was. He says that him and his classmates were caned every day after school, literally every day

because as a prank, someone put a bucket on a sort of half-open door with a brick in it, so when the teacher walked in, it brained him, which obviously it did. It landed on his head,

fucked him up, because it's a brick in a bucket. And still, nobody would confess. Nobody would grasp. So they all got caned after lessons every day. So the teachers are thinking,

we'll break one of them. One of them will grasp. And no one did. Does a teacher still turn up at his house now and cane him every day. So the teachers are thinking, we'll break one of them. One of them will grass. And no one did. Apparently not. Does a teacher still turn up at his house now and cane him every day? At the end of the day, you go back, what are you doing, Dad? Well, it's a long story. Yeah.

That's amazing. Listen, if you've got any stories about boarding school or braining teachers with a brick, hopefully not, or anything like that, it's hello at LukeandPeteShow.com. See, Jim, you've done exactly what Pete always makes me do. And we've gone off on so many tangents. We've only actually done one email, but that's okay. We'll do some more on Thursday.

I'm certain that that will yield horror. That call to arms you just put out for boarding school stories. Well, listen, a little story here.

Once upon a time, ages ago, I don't know why we thought this would be a good idea. I think we wanted to find out where people were in the world. We told people to sign up to everything, wherever they are,

at the helloandlukeandpeachshow.com email address. That was a mistake because we still get, I'm just checking now, there's still 1,294 unread emails from different random places. So anyway, please don't do that, but do email in with some of your stories at helloandlukeandpeachshow.com. You know how much we'd love to hear from you.

We'll be back on Thursday. This was Monday's episode, but we will be back on Thursday Jim will be with me as well because Pete's not back till next week Jim fantastic debut thank you very much how have you found it?

I've enjoyed it a lot nice not to talk about football it was boring mostly wasn't us again bloody hell it was brilliant more of the same on Thursday we'll speak to you then. This was a Stakhanov production and part of the ACAST Creative Network.