The Luke and Pete Show - The muse of all muses

Episode Date: July 11, 2024

Luke likens Donny to Marlon Brando as Pete declares himself a muse of theatre. Luke then reflects on his amateur theatre days and questions why he was so afraid to audition for the lead role in Smike the musical.Elsewhere, they decide it’s time to talk about the declining use of newspapers in fish and chip shops.Email: [e-mail] or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the Luke and Pete show I'm Pete Donaldson I'm joined by Mr. Lukey Matt I do hope you've had a great week I don't know what you've been doing with yourself to be quite frank What have you been doing with yourself Peter? We've been here for you for like two days

and then like you're back tail between your legs like you know where have you been? What have you been up to? Let us know Hello at LukeandPeteShow.com for crying out loud Tell us everything Tell us everything back, tail between your legs. Like, you know, where have you been? What have you been up to? Let us know. Hello, look at pto.com for crying out loud. Unbelievable.

Tell us everything. Tell us everything. I have been, well, I've been doing my bits and bobs. I was editing a podcast about Chris Broad meeting the Japanese emperor and the king. Oh, so my wife was telling me about this. We were out on Sunday and she listens a bit to that show. She was like, oh, Chris Broad's over here because he was invited by the emperor of Japan.

I was like, can that be true? Yeah, I think he's probably one of the few YouTubers who are out there who do pretty non-offensive stuff. They don't go to maid cafes and stuff. So he's probably on the list of like safest youtuber um so he's very much uh yeah he's an audience with the emperor audience with the emperor yeah he uh is the emperor what never speaks um i think he's the one who famously not the same emperor obviously but um it when the emperor signed the um let's give up on the whole war thing situation

in World War II, and then they committed that to records, like, you know, audio record. And when the people heard him for the first time, they were like, I can't understand what he's saying because he's speaking such an old school style of Japanese that nobody could tell what he was saying.

I think this emperor may be a little bit more millennium. Well, so it's a bit like when the good old Prince Philip God rest in would be like... He couldn't really understand what he was saying because he was so posh, he couldn't really get his words out. Yeah, and a lot of the things he did mean were hiding behind the racism and stuff.

So, you know. But yeah, I think I had a good time. But I was editing a podcast about that and at the same time listening to a man sort of off and on

reviewing lager from Aldi. So it's like... How many different types of Aldi lager are there? Well, it's like, I think they sometimes get like a, they sometimes get like a consignment, a shipment of boozy booze from like, you know,

proper Star of Promen from Prague. Do you know what I mean? Rather than the British version made with hard water. And I didn't realise there'd be massive differences in how it's kind of brewed and stuff. I thought it would be the same, but apparently the hard water does make the difference. So it genuinely made me want to go down to Aldi

and try a Star of Promen. We were doing a sponsorship for a beer brand, I think. Beer Wolf. Beer Wolf. We've got a Beer Wolf in the office now. Well, we have, yeah, and I had to pour myself a beer and drink part of a beer at 10 o'clock

in the morning for a promotional video. Tough gig, isn't it? Tough gig, isn't it? Tough gig. There was a little bit where we went, you know what? I could see this off. It is good stuff, isn't it? I mean, beer is good stuff, isn't it? It's always good stuff.

When you were doing it, you were thinking, you know what? I am the best man for this job. Okay, people, let's do another take. All right. All right, all right, fine. I can't pull a pint to save my life. I'm really bad at it. Never worked in a pub, see.

And would you... I've worked in several hostelries over the years. Yeah. I used to quite like being a barman. I thought it was a really fun job. I think it's... I would really like to work in a bar on like a Monday or a Tuesday when it's quiet

and I can just sort of take stock of my life a little bit so what am I that's depressing one of my one of my neighbors is really big in the local Amdram theater there's a South London theaters near where I live and he did say to me a while back oh once you um get a bit more free time when your son's a bit older would you mind volunteering to do first of all so have you ever done a bar job and I said yes because which kind of annoyed me a bit because he's looking at me and he's going he looks the type and uh and, he said, have you ever done a bar job? And I said, yes. Which kind of annoyed me a bit, because he's looking at me, and he's going, he looks the type. And he said he does all this stuff,

but I think he's probably just a barman at heart. He said, yeah, have you done bar work before? And I said, yes. And he said, would you mind volunteering a couple of nights, here or there, to run the bar at the South London Theatre? Because it's all done by volunteers, and we'd need someone to do it. And I said, yeah, I'd be happy to do that. So at some point, I've got to follow up on that that so i may well soon be doing bar work again for free

by the way what what is the um what is the uh what what kind of shows are they putting on is it kind of like highfalutin shakespeare or is it like you know guys and dolls yeah it's a bit of everything i think so they my other neighbor who's a good friend of mine, they went to the most recent play that was on there. They said it was pretty good. But I haven't actually been to see a play there. But it's like one, they do maybe four or five a year and it will be like, I don't know,

like an Arthur Miller or a Chekhov or whatever or maybe a Shakespeare. I don't know if they do Shakespeare actually. Isn't Shakespeare seen as something that's a little bit kind of higher production but quite hard to do? Yeah, and I guess, but they'll sound like proper like London, you know, Arthur

Miller. It feels like proper like London kind of vibe. The ones out our end, sort of, they do guys and dolls and stuff. Yeah, musicals and that kind of stuff. I remember when I was a kid at school, I was involved in the stage crew. Did I tell you that?

The stage crew? Who the hell are these guys? Because our school had a good reputation for putting on productions. Oh, right. Oh, yeah, I did that. I was involved in Guys and Dolls and Calamity Jane, stuff like that.

But they needed people backstage to do all the behind-the-scenes stuff. And I saw you did a bit of that. I think I said yes to it, but then didn't actually get assigned any work. So just sort of hung out, really. Nice, man. Like a pretty cool dude,

just sitting on the edge of the stage, smoking a tab. I'm going to say I'm a muse. I'm a theatre muse. Yeah, nice. I can see you a bit like Marlon Brando and on the waterfront. Yeah.

Who is this charismatic guy? Who is this guy? Yeah, just hanging out backstage. Did you have all the girls after you? No, because obviously the people who were cool are the ones who were in the... What? The people who were in the shows are the cool ones, aren't they?

They're the ones expressing themselves. Yeah, so I feel like looking back on it psychologically, if I was to psychoanalyse myself, I think I wanted to be involved, but I was too frightened. Yeah, exactly. So I did the stagecoach instead, which is a bit of a shame, really, because I think I wanted to be involved, but I was too frightened. Yeah, exactly. So I did the stagecoach thing instead, which is a bit of a shame, really, because I reckon I probably

could have done all right. Yeah, you were doing all right. I remember they did a production at my school of Smike, which is the musical of Nicholas Nickleby. Right, okay. Smike.

That sounds very 80s, if you don't mind me saying. Well, it was the 80s. No, no, but it just sounds very, like, I don't know when that adaptation was written, but it feels 70 was the 80s no no but it just sounds very like i don't know when that like adaptation was written but it feels 70s 80s it feels very kind of almost like you know nouveau do you know what i mean like i don't think it was done like the turn of the century it feels like it was done like you know when people sort of reimagine like beach boy songs and stuff but

smike is a character you would type. You were typing on your computer, so I was expecting you to come up with when Smike, whatever the hell Smike is. I'm just good with it, so I know exactly what I'm talking about, because I didn't know what it was called. Yeah, I know, but I need to know when it was made. I wasn't expecting you to get so animated about this.

When was it adapted? When was Smike adapted, for crying out loud? I barely know what Nicholas Nickleby is, and somehow I've got to know what Smike is. Unbelievable. It just reminded me, actually, that when we were kids as well, my mate Adam, what was his name? Adam someone.

Smikerson. He fell off his bike and scraped his top off, and he scraped all of his chest up, and everyone was calling him Nippleless Nippleby. Anyway, Nicholas Nickleby is, it's a Charles Dickens story. Right. And Smike is a character in it. Oh, okay, right. So it's a Charles Dickens story. Right. And Smike is a character in it. Oh, okay, right.

So it's about his life. So it's like Oliver versus Oliver Twist. I guess so. I guess so. It doesn't matter. I just wondered when the kind of... It feels a bit...

Not Starship Troopers. What was the Andrew Lloyd Webber one where you're all on roller skates? That one. Oh, Starship Express. Starlight Express. It just feels a bit like that. It feels a little bit like we didn't need this. We didn't need Oh, fucking Starlight Express. Starlight Express. It just feels a bit like that. It feels a little bit like we didn't need this.

We didn't need it. And Starlight Express, lads, were put together to be a boy band email, weren't they? They were, yes. Real doing shortcuts for giggles, weren't they? Yeah, we are email. I forgot about we are email. How can we squeeze more value out of these guys?

They're on long contracts. They're on long contracts. They're on long contracts. Can I just finally make this point? All right, yeah, fine. Which is that the guy who the teachers at school cast as Smike,

the main part of Nicholas Nickleby, wasn't as good a singer as me. Was the whole thing in song? Or was it, was there acting involved?

Right. Pretty much. Well, that's a shame. That is a shame. shame that is a shame but it is a shame but on the other hand I didn't apply I didn't audition

didn't apply yourself didn't apply no I didn't go for it yeah do you I mean as Morrissey once sang shyness is nice

etc etc I would say that it's it was a real kind of I wish I'd listened even then I would have told myself

stop being so shy get involved in more stuff. You have something to offer. But mine wasn't shyness. Mine was more kind of self-consciousness. I was very self-conscious. And I was kind of over-compensating by being quite loud, but ultimately I was very sensitive.

And I think that's why I didn't go for any of that stuff. Well, a lot of like, whenever we've hit the stage, Luke, on rare occasions, we usually have a disagreement about the only things that you, the only concern you ever seem to have is what if we look stupid? What's your concern? Is it the worst thing we've done? That's the very different vibes.

And you can always tell yourself a story that something else you've done. That's the very different vibes I would say. And you can always tell yourself a story that something else you've done is worse. Yeah. If you just do something shit loud you kind of get away with it in this life

I find. If you can learn nothing else I think just do it louder. Yeah but when it comes to like look the thing is I would say

when it comes to live stuff theatre stuff and I'm only going on the people I've actually done it with you and Marcus are very natural at it and Jim's got a load of experience doing it so I'm the going to people I've actually done it with you and Marcus are very natural at it

and Jim's got a load of experience doing it so I'm the one who just feels like left out because I don't know what I'm doing the first time I've ever

set foot on a stage was the first Ramble live show you guys at that point you had hosted the Hyde Park stage for the London Olympics

but you've got to remember like yeah but it's A it's completely different B you're with friends aren't you they come to see, like, yeah, but A, it's completely different. B, you're with friends, aren't you? They come to see you. Yeah, but what if it's shit?

What if it is shit? We've beaten away enough. I've beaten away enough podcast live events that are just as shit. Don't you worry about that. Yeah, but what I'm saying is on the podcast themselves, if it's like, for example, if this episode's shit, I don't care because there'll be another one in a few days. That's a good point, actually, yeah.

I can make up for it. So maybe at the end of the Palladium show, you can say, come outside and we'll make this better. Come outside and we'll do this again later. You've still got to write that show, by the way, because we're selling tickets for it and you haven't written it. What do you mean I haven't written it? I'm not writing the whole show.

I'm doing some videos. Most of it. I'm doing the videos, yeah. I'm literally, I can see Riverside on one image and on the other one, I've got this big, long what I've got I'm doing the videos yeah I'm literally I can see Riverside on one image and on the other one I've got this big long tube I've made

that is that's not making me feel better the time tunnel I'm making the time tunnel oh that is making me feel much better in 3D

because yeah how are you going to transport that to the Palladium I don't know I've got little bits and bobs

I've been collecting newspapers it's not going to be like King Charles all over again is it it's not going to be like King Charles I can't support that, the palladium. I don't know. I've got little bits and bobs. I've been collecting newspapers. It's not going to be like King Charles' ear all over again, is it? It's not going to be like King Charles' ear. I keep looking at a bit of wood with half of King Charles' ear taped to it. No, it's not. I've got a little plan and I've got a lot of newspapers. You don't find newspapers.

Like, you know, if you're making something with newspapers, you don't find newspapers kicking around quite so often. No, I agree. And I think you wouldn't be able to find a fish and chip shop in London for love nor money still selling it out of a newspaper now. Oh, that's a really good point, isn't it? No way. But that's half the glory of it, isn't it?

No one fucking buys it. No one buys newspapers, mate. Smelling vinegar and ink and salt. Isn't that something to be said for that smell? There's a very special type of paper they wrap fish and chips in now that you never find anywhere else. Yeah, it's not particularly shiny.

It is quite absorbent. Tell me where you've seen paper like that in any other sphere than the fish and chip shop. It's impossible. Maybe like old maps you'd see in an underground bunker. Nope. A wartime bunker. No, it's different. No.

By the way, speaking of that, have you been to the Churchill war rooms? I've not, no. I've been to Kelvin and Hatch on a ghost hunt. God, it's amazing. I was disgust. You know that Churchill war rooms, but basically the story behind Churchill war rooms is particularly fascinating is that when the war ended obviously people were just preoccupied with the fact

that there was a fucking war and it was horrendous and it all finished Yeah, and Churchill's bunker the main planning hub for everything he did from London They just yeah last person out. Yeah, just lock it up See you later, and they left it exactly as it was and and then some I think it was a cabinet minister in the 80s under Thatcher Possibly in the United 90s under Major, came across these papers. Might have been Michael

Heseltine. And he was just like, fucking hell, that's still there. I'm paraphrasing what he said. He probably didn't say anything. And he went down there and he was like, this is amazing. That's exactly the same as it was. Even the coffee cups are the same. So it had been left untouched

for like 40 years they didn't even clean the coffee cups nothing so they went down even the last episode of cheers sam cleaned his last glass and left yeah famously very touching moment pointing it was didn't bother doing that at the end of the war there was other stuff on so they left it and um they obviously went down there and tied it all up and opened it up exactly as it is now as a museum. You'd think that you would have, you'd think you'd need, after the war, like the tech that's down there,

metal. Oh no, Churchill gets to keep his, you know, old beds. We turn those stretchers and beds into bits of railings and stuff, isn't it? Council estates. Yeah, sometimes when you look at the railings in some parts of London,

they're old World War II stretchers, correct? Yeah. yeah um what are we going to say oh that's what we're going to do we're going to have a break when we then we're going to do batteries all right then let's do that it's luke and pete show and we're back we're back we're back with batteries guys we are back with batteries uh david has got in touch if you've got a battery that you found in something you own and you want us to know about it, we want the rarest possible battery brands in our email box. Hello at LukeandPeteShow.com is the way to get in touch. Hello, fellas. Hope all is well.

Before I go for my battery hat trick, or bat trick, if you'll allow, I've noticed a disturbing occurrence akin a problem that Luke is suffering from. I park near my mother-in-law's house to jump on the train for work every morning as the station is around the corner. And of late, I've noticed a corn setter nearby, much like the neighbour Luke has to deal with. Are we seeing more and more C-word neighbours, lads? I've attached a picture for reference.

And yes, that's it. They have put... Are they putting corns out to stop people from hitting the back of their car? Or have they put corns out to stop people from parking in front of their car or have they put cones out to stop people from parking in front of their house? I think it might be the former, personally.

I think people get funny. Yeah, my issue with this from David is that David driving from somewhere else and parking on someone else's street so he can park for free and get on the train is a massive problem on my street as well, David. So don't come to me with your complaint. Because you, my friend, are very

much the problem. Part of the problem. What batteries has he got? He's got two submissions for the Battery Daddy. He hopes he can make the cut after two previous successes. So this could be his hat trick. So never mind his, yeah, so never mind his in parking where he shouldn't be parking.

He's come in with LK NIMH. Now... I need a ruling on that one. LK's the brand. So how... I mean, I guess there aren't that many words with LK at the start. You could probably figure out whether that's been seen before. But obviously

the NI is for nickel and MH probably stands for murder house. I don't know what the MH stands for. Yeah, I reckon it definitely stands for murder house, Pete. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So as far as I can see, he's the only person to send LKs in. Is that definitely a legit battery, though, Peter, based on the photo? Yeah, it looks like it's a double A.

It's an unbranded kind of OEM version of a battery, I think. Okay, in which case, that's a new player. Congratulations on your hat trick, David. Congratulations, yeah, well done. And your next one is Nangrand. You ain't getting anywhere near it with that, mate. Right. How many Nangranders?

19 Nangranders. That's great stuff. Well, well done, David. Let's move on to our second and final entry for this section today. Only two today. Only two today. Hey, thems are the bricks. Hi, guys.

The talk of bin men on the last show reminded me of a situation my dad once got into. My dad's been a bin man for nearly 30 years now and has always been fairly happy on his rounds. A few years back in 2017, he and his team were doing their rounds where they noticed a carjacking happening. We live in Hull. This isn't a regular occurrence.

I mean, I don't think it's a regular occurrence anywhere, is it? Apart from, you know, London. Johannesburg. Johannesburg, true. They noticed this situation, blocked the car in, hit the car door in the process and they all jumped out

and they managed to tackle a car jack into the ground and someone kicked a gun away while my dad sat on the guy. Whoa. I'm not really sure. What bin did they put the gun in? Exactly, yeah.

Would you just, imagine if you just threw the gun and the gunman into the bin and they just went, that's farewell to bad rubbish. Yeah, use a nice pun. Yeah. Looks like somebody got to take out the trash.

Someone's going to be experiencing a different kind of metal. The teeth of my big fucking bin truck. Oh, they are. The can. The can. Yeah. Prison. Yeah. Enjoy being in the can. The garbage can Yeah. Prison. Yeah.

Enjoy being in the can. The garbage can. What other ones can we do? I mean, it's just garbage. That man who goes, it's garbage day. Do you remember that meme? The garbage day man. Yeah, I like that.

Looks like somebody bin bagged himself a crook. Yeah, nice, nice. Yeah. Bin. Mice. Something about nice. Yeah. Bin. Mice. Something about mice. Yeah. Watch the mice don't nibble you because you're going in the bin.

I'm not. Anyway, so I'm not really sure what else. He's done a very good thing here. He's basically fucking demobbed a fucking car jack. That's amazing. Yeah, with a gun. Why was this car so valuable? I'm not really sure

what else the bin men in our local area need to do to appease the older generation of Facebook users who post these memes. It was a bizarre week or so afterwards

as my dad was hailed a hero when his own wife spends her time calling him a useless twat constantly. Hey, but there's very few carjackings

happening in the home. What do you expect? He's crying out for another carjacking. Hey, but there's very few carjackings happening in the home. What do you expect? I bet he's crying out for another carjacking. Exactly, yeah. Hero or Bidman? I'm looking at the Sun newspaper piece on it. There's four Bidman and the Sun story photographs which they've posed for.

Yeah. And I wonder which one is our man's dad. I'm going to guess the one on the far left. I think, yeah. You reckon? Yeah, I think so. He would have gone the far right, look, the oldest, don't they? Yeah, the bloke on the far right, oldest.

I mean, why? So they're kind of posing behind the car that got carjacked as well. It is a Lexus. It's a Lexus SUV. I mean, they are quite valuable, but presumably not. I'll tell you what I will say. If it's the guy you're talking about on the far left, then in the bigger photo of him down there,

and it is Jordan's dad, he looks fucking hard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He looks really fucking hard. Well, have we gone and got Jordan's secret secret? No. Okay. Well, I mean... It's great that he's got his day in the sun, though, isn't it?

Literally. And well done to... Oh, yeah, quite. Well, I mean... It's great that he's got his day in the sun, though, isn't it? Literally. And well done, too. Oh, yeah, quite literally. I just love... I've just never had cars to wear high-vis. It just seems like... I could see you in a bit of fire. I reckon you should wear high-vis.

Yeah. It just looks lovely, that. Yeah, I think so. What happens if you're going out to work on the car and it's a bit grey outside and you need to, you know, stay warm? It's a good point, actually. I'm sometimes underneath,

like, sort of half underneath my car and cars are whizzing past. I need to, I need them, I need to put some cones out so that my cones don't get pushed. Secondly,

you need a bit of high vis, mate. Man at work, mechanic at work, sign. Yeah, I don't think it's just the practicality

of being visible. I just think, I just want people to walk past you working and going, that guy looks like he's a serious operator. Yeah,

well, I've already, I've already fallen foul of the difference between near side and off side while describing a problem to a car mechanic. Oh, really? Off side, there's surely got to be the other side to the driver. I'm going to replace my own O2 sensors, actually, from now on. What happened? Tell us about what happened. I bought an o2 sensor

i got some cords run it's like a oxygen sensor that tells your car whether to add more fuel or reduce the amount of fuel uh going into the engine so that your car doesn't run lean or rich um and so like there's there's several down the you know pre-catalytic converter post-catalytic converter and it just tells the computer that everything's hunky-dory. Is this in the century? That's in the century, yeah. So one of the O2 sensors was being silly, and it just meant that I've had an engine light on

since I've got it. I think you were just always fiddling. That's the problem. I've never known anyone to have so many problems with a car. It's because you're endlessly fiddling. It wasn't problems. It came with problems. I'm fixing them.

But, yeah, so, yeah, and I told the guy that it was... So it was reported as, I think, near, yeah, offside? I can't remember. Near side is passenger, isn't it? Offside is driver. Either way. Offside has to be the other side of the driver, surely.

Yeah, that's what I thought. That's what, yeah, I don't know. Either way, I got it confused. I told the mechanic the wrong oxygen sensor, basically. So he's replaced a good one with a cheap version of it and that's not ideal so I'm just gonna do my own stuff to be honest I'm gonna buy all the kit I'm gonna spend three times the amount it should cost I'm just gonna do it myself for crying out loud when you plan on doing that it's good point actually I'll probably just get some

else to do it anyway batteries we haven't done batteries yet Jordan's battery on an unrelated note we bought a fan for our child's bedroom grandchild of Hero Binman

and the remote had a pair of triple A I already know this isn't a new player Tianqui Tianqui I thought it was pronounced Tianchu isn't it?

Tianqu? Maybe. I don't know. Either way, it's T-I-A-N-Q-I-U. That does sound more likely. I've just seen Jordan's second surname on the email, and it is the tough guy. It is the tough guy.

So if you scroll down. Hey, tough guy. Yes. My goodness me, your dad looks so hard. He looks like he could see off a pint in like a second. It is like he wasn't born, he was quarried. He does look like a tough guy. Good stuff.

I need more stories from... Big time. He must have some stories. I'm going to dox his dad, Richard. I need more news from Richard's life on the bins. I don't think it counts as doxing if it's in the Sun newspaper already. Yeah, I need more bin news from

Dickie. What's he seen? Also, Jordan, you're the 48th person to send in those batteries, mate, so you're nowhere near a new player, my friend. Your dad's a legend. Yeah, sorry Jordan. Do you think you can carjack this show with that kind of crap? You've got a lot to live up to, Jordan.

We've got you lot to live up to, Jordan. You're a mountain legend. We've got you in a bracing stress position and your dad's kicked the gun away from you, the battery away from you, and it's in the street. I bet Richard sees some absolutely banging batteries in the back of his bin, Laurie. I don't think Richard's got any time at all for anyone who sends emails into a podcast.

No, I just think that he probably has got, like, a database of absolutely banging batteries for the battery daddy. And yet, you know, his son sees fit to send in Tian Xu. Yeah, it's true.

I just think Richard looks like a guy with a serious shed. Yeah, I could say. Yeah. Full of things he's found. That's if I worked on the bins. That's what I'd be doing.

That's a fucking treasure trove. I would just have so much stuff that I'd taken out of the bins. I just would. Fantastic. We've been doing podcasting. He's basically been doing bins for twice the amount of time

we've been doing podcasting. That's true, yeah. Incredible really, wasn't it? That's the only way to end the show today, Peter. That's the only way. I wish I could hang off the back of a podcast

as it drove off. Oh, that'd be lovely, wouldn't it? Into someone's ears. Yeah, give it a little tap on the side, say, off we go. Give it a little tap on the side, yeah. Stop, stop, stop. All right, then. We'll be back on Monday.

So look after yourselves over the weekend. I do hope you have a good one. And if you've seen anything that deserves our attention, helloatlunkpeachshow.com is the way to get in touch. You won't be seeing any of the second half of this show on socials because my camera got too hot and turned itself off. Sometimes I get too hot and I turn myself off, and you should too. Yeah, I think you should turn yourself off a lot earlier than you normally do.

I think so, I think so. See you later, guys. Have a good weekend. See you later. Ta-ta. The Luke and Pete Show is a Stack production and part of the acast creator network