The Luke and Pete Show - The One Where Pete Goes Sleepwalking

Episode Date: June 3, 2021

On today’s show, Luke gives us some insight into the family he has access to and the fun and games behind the seafood shucking industry, before the boys digest the recent Friends reunion and Pete unveils which cast member might secretly be his dad...Elsewhere, over in battery corner, THREE NEW PLAYERS enter the game before a listener gets in touch with a story surrounding office parkour, stolen keys and cranberry juice...GET IN TOUUUUCH! Drop us an email with your latest nonsense, new battery brands, bizarre pets you have access to and so forth over at [e-mail], or give us a message on our Instagram/Twitter @lukeandpeteshow! THANKS! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Luke and Pete show. It is a Thursday. I hope everything is fantastic where you are. I'm Pete Donaldson. Join my Luke Moore for the second time this week. Very enjoyable. The Luke and the Pete reunited for a Luke and Pete show. It's what we're doing. It's what we're doing. Not many people volunteer to spend twice a week with you and i pete including i include the partners we have access to in that so the listeners really are a special breed and we thank them every day for it or at least twice a week when we're on the air but it's thursday um my lake district holiday is fading into the distance it will soon be nothing but an occasionally glimpsed memory in my mind.

But the weekend is on its way. The summer finally feels like it's here after we had the coldest and I think wettest May in 100 years. So good stuff. Lots of reasons to be positive today. Peter, you're still in Whitstable or Canterbury, whatever it is. How are you getting on? I'm all right. Since we last spoke, I've eaten an atrocious amount of oysters.

And I've not fallen ill at any point, so they must have been quite fresh anyway. I have, yeah, I've just been rolling around Whitstable, went to the zoo, and I'm having a bloody, bloody lovely time, quite frankly. Speaking of oysters, and I forgot to mention this on Monday, but have I told you about the family members I have access to relating to oysters?

I told you about the family members I have access to relating to oysters. Is it your partner's brother has got some kind of oyster hustle? No, so basically, well, the partner I have access to's family are very interesting for a number of different reasons, right? But her cousins, Jacob and Justin, possibly the two coolest family members I've ever had. They've got this amazing life on Wellfleet on Cape Cod, right? So think like the setting of Jaws. It's like that. Obviously not in the 70s now because that was 50 years ago. But they've got their own oyster business, right?

Yes. And every Thanksgiving, we go up to Vermont and they obviously, they join us and they bring like basically two massive cool boxes full of oysters right and they shuck them as many as you want, they can eat as many as you like and apparently they say this and they supply

they supply oysters to the trade and stuff and I'm pretty sure they garner a pretty penny for it they are the best oysters in the world apparently now I know people are going to have their own opinions on that, but they're amazing. And they taste really, really smooth and really creamy. And like I say, you're able to eat as many as you like.

It's a real luxury. I'm always very grateful for it. But it means that oysters elsewhere don't taste as good. So it's a real first world problem. But what I sometimes get them to do is I get them to do like oyster shucking races between them in the big garage at the house we stay in. And anyway, I'll share a video of it. I'll send it to producing that.

I'll share a video of it on Instagram because I've got a video of them doing it. And they're astonishingly fast. Because they use little knives, don't they? And chainmail gloves. Oh, right. That makes sense. Yeah, because a lot of the people that were serving me the oysters in Whitstable on, on the coast,

a lot of them had like little blue plasters on their hands. And I was like, that's just get yourself some, some chainmail gloves guys. The pros, the pros do have chainmail gloves. So I think at the, there's a,

the Wellfleet Oyster Festival, I think it's called. They have a, cause you know, America's love like a competition, right? They have oyster-shocking competitions there. And they've all got the old gloves. The chainmail gloves do look amazing.

It's one of those things that you get a little bit Alan Partridge about looking at it and thinking, oh, I'd love to try one of them on. But I don't... I've... Yeah, I... I'd love to wear one. When we were in... When I used to work in a sandwich factory,

I got the chance to wear a chainmail glove for opening. Was I opening cans or something? I think I was opening a lot of cans at the time. And it just meant I could grab the sides of the cans without actually, when I was throwing in, you know, those big industrial-sized kind of cooked tomato kind of tins. I was sort of throwing them in. So I had to open them really, really quick and then chuck them in. So, yeah, it was really fun holding a chainmail glove.

No, it was a terrible job it was horrible they wouldn't allow me to wear um uh aftershave and i like wearing aftershave is that just specific to you though yeah yeah it was just a terrible aftershave yeah but it does take the food you're too swarthy as it is too i don't like the fragrance but there was a guy whose job it was to um they're these big industrial size trays like the size of a of a man um and there was one guy's job it was to they're these big industrial sized trays like the size of a of a man and there was one guy's job to sort of just wash them off

with like a high pressure hose and he'd have his own little separate room and every time I walked past I sort of stuck my head in he looked so much like my dad

it was unbelievable I was like and I never got the guts up to sort of go sorry you don't know Stuart Donaldson do you because you look exactly

like my dad it It's so weird. Could it be your dad? Well, it's a toss-up between, it could have been my dad's brother, maybe. I don't know. It's a toss-up between, because my dad, obviously, this week or last week, the big friends

reunion happened, and everyone... No, it wasn't. But, Joey Tribbiani, union happened and um everyone no he wasn't but uh joey tribiani uh in in later life white hair like a kind of a big guy's shirt uh folded arms uh looking at the rest of the the guys and friends um it did make me laugh because all of the twitter memes about you know in being like a good a good irish old bloke uh irishlooking old bloke who looks like a guy who could get you tickets for the rugby or whatever. It looked so much...

That's exactly my dad's kind of... His sartorial kind of lack of elegance is basically what Joey Tribbiani was wearing on the Friends thing. So it's a toss-up between that man who used to hose down the trays or Joey Tribbiani in 2021. I don't think Matt LeBlanc is your dad. I don't want to be rude, but I don't look at you and go, oh, yeah, ironically, he looks like every other human being in the world,

but you look less like Matt LeBlanc than anyone. So I don't think it's Matt LeBlanc. Yeah, no, I know I don't look like Matt LeBlanc, but my dad looks like... He doesn't look like Matt LeBlanc, because obviously Matt LeBlanc is a very good- I know. I don't look like Matt LeBlanc, but my dad looks like... He doesn't look like Matt LeBlanc because obviously Matt LeBlanc is a very good looking man. All right, he's a cross between Mussolini,

Matt LeBlanc, and the man who used to hose down trays in a factory just near Melton Moorbury. Okay, nice. And also you were doing that in Leicester when you were at uni then. Yes, yeah. One of the things I found interesting

about the response to Matt LeBlanc, and every single person who's listened to this I'm sure would have seen it, and if you haven't, you can just find it on any social media. It's endlessly funny. Him being an Irish dar is so funny. Yeah, but do you know what I found interesting, Pete? I don't want to get too kind of earnest about it,

but it did kind of strike me as like, and I don't really want to get into the idea of expectations around men and women and the don't really want to get into the idea of expectations around men and women and the celebrity culture and all the rest of it, but essentially, when you take it of its essence, Matt LeBlanc just looks like a handsome but pretty standard older dude, right? He's put some weight on. He's going grey.

He's not taking any measures, as far as I can tell, to try and make himself look younger. He's not gone Hollywood kind of Botox. He's just normal, right? And he gets completely criticized, like hammered for it. Oh no,

I don't think it is. I think it's a really warm kind of like... I don't think he would have enjoyed it. I think he would. I don't think the idea that you look like

some kind of spivvy Irish farmer is the compliment you think it is. I think that like, you know, like when Beyonce said, I'm tired of being sexy. I imagine Matt LeBlanc has had enough years where he's looked sexy. So don't worry about it.

Forget about it. No, wait. How am I doing? I've put on a bit of timber. I'm 50 on. It doesn't matter. He didn't say forget about it. He said, how are you doing?

I forgot. I didn't like Friends all that much after the third series. Once Ross and Rachel got together, bore off. Yeah. Do you know what? I mean, tell you what. I don't know the relative ages of both the men, but like I say, I'm not trying to dig it anymore.

I'm just saying that he just looks like a normal dude, right? And it's interesting to me how it's worthy of comment of this nature because he just looks normal. I dare say if he had gone down the Simon Cowell route, he would have got hammered for that because him and Simon Cowell are probably similar in age. And Simon Cowell, I don't want to be rude, looks fucking mental.

He looks mad. He looks completely mad. He looks like he's wearing a death mask of his own face, as you would say. But I think heavier set kind of features on a face, when they, you know, I don't think it's any, things have happened outside of the normal body aging and the normal body's aging process but like i think when people talk about thick set people i think it should be me i'm just talking but but if you

started dicking about your chin your chin would go all weirdly sort of pockmarked and it would look damaged like look at that wattle yeah well yeah but exactly but if you started pulling that in it would just look weird and your face would look strange it wouldn't be yeah it just wouldn't be right yeah you'd just look all pulled especially when you've got like stubble on your beard as well you just look at like Ross in that thing his hair is

pitch black and it's like you had pitch black hair back then but like mate we know your hair is a colour and I'm a man who's dyed his hair all kinds of colours i understand it but it's just like jesus jesus yeah i i never i never really understand that decision for a little so each their own and all the rest of it we're not trying to sound judgmental it's just we're just chatting about it but i've never understood why men want to kind of stop the greyness like to me i get the balding thing i

totally understand that um but the greyness I think can it doesn't matter what age you are like I think you can still look really cool like Fabrizio Ravanelli went bald at like 19 he looked fucking amazing

like everyone's different I get that but I was just going to say that I just find it interesting that Matt LeBlanc essentially just looked

like a normal bloke and he got battered for it like absolutely battered I don't think he did get battered I think there was some genuine warmness because he felt and the way that he sort of carried it. Did you watch

the show by the way? No, I didn't see it. Yeah, I saw it and it was a bit cringy because those things generally are. James Corden was fucking on it for crying out loud. How is it so popular by the way, Pete? I don't think the Americans are as cynical as us but they probably haven't had as much James Corden as we have, you know.

So what you're saying is they'll get there? They'll get there. They will get there, yeah. Yeah, they're just way more positive, I guess. But yeah, he just looked completely sort of normal. And it was, yeah, it was a bit cringy at times, a bit weird. Obviously, you know, Matthew Perry didn't look particularly, like, he's had a great time. But, yeah, it was a little bit, like, you know,

we don't need these shows. We can just enjoy the thing and then leave them alone. But maybe this will be the end of, like, the kind of reverence these shows enjoyed. Because I think a lot of TV shows back then, they obviously, you know, it was an appointment to watch. You couldn't avoid watching Friends, could you, Luke? It was like the whole nation, the whole country, the whole world

would sit down and watch Ross and Rachel get together. But obviously, you know, there's only so many hours in the day and there's only so many TV shows you can watch. So nowadays, these kind of things, these kind of cultural touchstones won't be as prevalent. So we won't have as many, I guess, kind of, you know, celebrations of one particular thing because they won't be popular enough.

It's really easy to spend 10 million per head to get the friends lot together because, you know, they'll get that money back. But for other TV shows, I don't think you'd see that. Maybe Game of Thrones, maybe. Yeah, I still don't think, yeah, it's changed now. I think, I still, I do remember watching Game of Thrones, like, as it came out, but I don't think you need to.

They talk about these kind of water cooler moments, don't they, and stuff, they and stuff but Friends was definitely like that. Obviously because of the era it was. I think I'm right in saying I was just trying to check while you were talking there

but I couldn't find it. I think Friends like the numbers of people streaming it when it got added to Netflix was absolutely unbelievable. There was some crazy stat that like

I can't remember the exact numbers but like if every single person on earth watched the amount of times that Friends has been streamed every single person on earth could have watched it like 13 times or something it's fucking

incredible how popular it is. Well do you remember when like Channel 4 had their sister channel E4 and they had a they used to play it World of Warfare all the time and people it got to about after 10 years of this And they had a, they used to play it with wall-to-wall friends all the time. And it got to about after 10 years of this, just playing the same bloody thing over and over again.

I think people sort of got a bit sick of it, except they didn't. They were still streaming it. It was still incredibly popular. But I think I was talking to somebody who worked for Channel 4 at the time. They sort of said, look, we could spend 20 grand on putting a film on, or we could just spend 20 grand on putting Friends on and Friends would have 10 times the viewership if we tried something different. So why should we bother trying something different when, you know, television is all about bums on seats

and eventually they got rid of Friends and it went over to Comedy Central and now it's on Netflix and stuff. But it's just incredibly popular. It's like a big, warm blanket. And I speak from the perspective of a man who watches the TV show The Office every single night. The US Office. It's inspirational as well.

Two episodes every night. It's good for everyone to know that even people in TV are going, why should I bother doing anything else? And I like, my favourite part of it is the theme tune. Toss salads and scrambled eggs. Right. By the way, Pete, I want to change the subject. I've got nowhere of checking how long we've been recording for, by the way, because the TV's gone off, so you'll have to keep

that in check. Okay, cool. Did you see, lots of people raised our attention to this, and you've kept this under your hat, but our listeners have seen right through it. You've not told us that you've opened a new cafe in Blackpool. The new Cogs Cafe Bar on the Lytham Road.

Cogs sounds very much like it's some kind of steampunk. Would you say you've embraced the popular style which mixes futuristic gadgets with Victorian and Industrial Revolutionary machinery? Let's have a look. Oh, good God. Look at that. Here's a quote from Pete, everyone. He's opened a steampunk cafe. He says,

I love everything about steampunk and the Industrial Revolution. Without the Industrial Revolution, we would not have all the things we have today. And from it came things like the Blackpool Tower, the Winter Gardens, and the Pleasure Beach. So there's a local connection to Blackpool itself. Yes, there is a fucking steampunk cafe opened up in Blackpool. And I cannot tell you how annoyed i am that i drove past blackpool yesterday and i didn't see this until this morning because i'd have gone there and i'd have photoshopped you in there baby boy and we'd have got a load of good social tracks of it absolute state of that some kind of exposed wood like metal-y kind of seats they've got some old

violins on the wall that have painted black. And, I mean, it's spotty, isn't it? Isn't it? It's a local business you're trying to do well, right? I don't know why you're so critical of it. It just seems like there's, I mean, there's so few cogs in the place. Like, their big thing is cogs,

but they've got more chains than cogs. It's all very confusing. Oh, so your argument is they've not done it well? Yeah. Look, I don't care for steampunk. I think it's tedious. I think it shows a possibility of anything creative. But if you're going to do something, do it properly.

I've been in steampunk bars, in places like Talon and Inclusion, places like that. This guy, he's got three cogs on a wall in steampunk bars in places like Talon and Cluj and places like that. Like, this guy, he's got three cogs on a wall with a chain going round it

in like a kind of triangle. you're not into steampunk but you've gone all the way to Cluj to go to a steampunk bar? Yeah, well, in spite of my better judgement, yeah,

but it just seems like they've not bought enough cogs for me. They need more cogs, Luke. Hear me out here. Hear me out here, right? Tell me what you think about this. Only Fools and Horses, steampunk

reboot. Right, okay. So Del Boy becomes a Victorian time traveller in the HG Wells style. Yeah. And Rodney has to find him. Yeah, and they move a cog in the wrong...

They buy this magical cog-based piece of equipment and they turn the cog the wrong way and an airport gets wind of it and sends one of their planes into them. Do you remember that? The plot to one of them, they bought a satellite dish that went wrong and for some reason it made a plane land in Peckham.

That was the end anyway. But it wouldn't be a plane it would be like an airship. No a floating cog bird. Exactly.

Anyway if you like steampunk you're in the right place it's Donny's thing. If you like Only Fools and Horses you're in the right place also Donny's thing.

Email us in about that kind of stuff. Keep bringing these kind of things to our attention. Pete Donaldson is a completist on both those things and we're going to take a quick break

and when we come back we're going to read some of the emails that you've already sent in and it's going to be bloody exciting, believe me Bernie Katz was fun, he was kind when he walked in the room just lit up. And there was something magical about this young man

that just had a glint in his eye that didn't give a shit about anything but loved everything. My first impressions were of a huge, vibrant and outgoing personality, all hugs, grins, extravagant language and wild attire. Always in a leopard skin jacket, whirling around like a windmill. I don't know, it's just a character. I don't know if those people exist anymore. They're sort of dying out. Everything's changed.

It is a bank holiday weekend in London, the late summer of 2017. The streets around Kentish Town, just north of the city and halfway towards Hampstead Heath, are unusually quiet. That evening, in a small, converted flat, just a 15-minute bus ride from King's Cross Station, Bernie Katz, pocket-sized and long-standing front-of- house manager of London's Groucho Club, is found dead by his landlords. I said to him, what happened? And he said, we are not talking about it. And yes, there have been the rumours, we've all heard. I mean, what did I hear specifically that he

was murdered? The relationship with his father was so toxic. He hated the idea that his son was gay. His dad was a proper gangster. Then he came down, there was a car far from him, and he blows his dad's head off. They're all part of the same fetid, seething, self-referential nest of vipers that I think the Grudge have become.

Was Bernie depressive? I think yes. When alone, a condition he rarely sought, he had demons that flew about his head. I get a call from Bernie and he is in £20,000 of the debt with the Albanian gangsters in Soho. We all collected and paid the debt. The way that the Albanians operate is very, very peculiar because they did not operate like any other mafia in Europe.

I've never been able to establish exactly what happened and why, but whatever it was, it was so wrong. Bernie, who killed the Prince of Soho? Listen now. A Stack production. Av available wherever you get your podcasts. We're back. It's the Luke Pete Show Part 2 on a Thursday. We do this every single Thursday. We want to know your battery brands. Have you found a weird battery that you've never heard of before in a cheapest bit of Chinese electronics you bought from Wish.com. Joshua Williams is emailed in with a Tianqiu Supercell.

I think that's a new player, Luke. Is that fair? Yeah, I think it might be. By the way, are they always Chinese? Am I being naive here? All the electronics, they're always Chinese, are they? I guess so. I mean, they'll all come from one big bloody factory,

won't they? And then they'll just be rebranded up to something else. Okay, well, Joshua, yeah, congratulations. I think that's a new player you're officially in yeah dom cairns is emailed in with aerosol east power and royal heavy duty batteries i think he's written rcyl uh sorry rcyl heavy duty batteries so i think that might be um either a misspelling on his part or maybe they've just gone really off off piste with their naming of the battery

so a reseal Aerosel is definitely not a new player East Power might be yeah if that's RCYAL heavy duty that's a new player as well but if it's Royal I don't

think it is the jury's out yeah and this one's a bit of a treat I love these ones Ody Ody on Instagram,

sent in some Panasonic. Panasonic batteries. Wow, so it's like a knockoff of Panasonic. Yeah, they've had a go at Panasonic and they've come up with Panasonic. That is great. It's like people have tried to spell Panasonic phonetically having never seen it written down.

I'm here for that. That gets in no matter what. Very enjoyable. But if you've got a battery cell that you've never seen it written down. I'm here for that. That gets in no matter what. Very enjoyable. But if you've got a battery cell that you've never seen before that you want the nation to know about, get in touch. Hello at LukePeteShow.com.

Get us on Twitter or get us on the Instagram. Emails, Lukey Moen. Let's get a couple in before I have to chip off. Yeah, emails, right. I've got one here from Dave. Hi to you, Dave. He says, hi, guys. Pete's driving test was reminding me of something

from when I was learning myself the first time I visited a test centre but not for my test I was actually on a driving lesson parked up as my instructor

and I talked through the giant roundabout I was about to negotiate for the very first time it was Toyota Island near Derby I've never heard of that before but the way Dave writes it

is like some kind of big thing so I'm sure it is he says it connects two A roads with another B road and multiple lanes quite a hectic location for a learner as we talked through the island and where i was going to be driving on it another learner car pulled up in front of us and stopped in the same lay-by a woman race race race race the world's slowest race a woman in a high-vis jacket got out of the passenger door followed by a very shaken female learner driver turns out someone had just crashed into them on

toyota island while the girl was on a test oh no the examiner had to immediately void the test and seeing her stopped um asked for a lift back to the center she wasn't insured to drive the car so the remainder of my lesson saw me driving the 20 or so minutes back to the centre. She wasn't insured to drive the car. So the remainder of my lessons saw me driving the 20 or so minutes back to the test centre for the first time without actually taking the test. I never did see the reaction of the girls instructor when she turned up back at the centre without the car. Separately, I

passed first time some months later. Five minors, two for speed, all the best. Drive safe, Dave. Now, great story. I always wondered what would happen if someone crashed into you when you were driving your test and doing your driving test. Now, great story. I always wondered what would happen if someone crashed into you when you were doing your driving test. Now I know. Secondly, I don't think you should be an examiner

and not be insured to drive the car back. Yeah, you'd think at some point you would have to be able to take over the controls. Because I'm fairly certain that if I am on a lesson with my partner and I sort of say, all right, well, let's go and have some food, you can do a lesson and we'll drive to a pub in the next town or wherever, next village, I'm fairly certain she can't get shitted because she might have to take over the controls at some point. Yeah.

How can you be a driving test examiner and not be ensured to drive any car? Yeah, you think you should be able to take control of any car that you're doing a test in. Yeah, it's weird. I think I've seen, talking to my instructor, he says that he, on more than one occasion, has heard of people taking their test

and other learner drivers doing something mental and people failing their test because of other learner drivers on the road just doing something a bit mad and them not kind of being able to anticipate it properly. Yeah, I can believe it. Are you back on the horse now, are you? I've not been able to secure a test yet,

but every week I'm sort of getting out on the Fiat with my partner and doing a little lesson here and there. But the thing is, I'm all right at it, Luke. I just fucked it. As the Kanye West it, Luke. I just fucked it. As the Kanye West album cover said, I just fucked it. It's just the way it is, isn't it? You can be as all right as you like,

but you need the paperwork, mate. Yeah, I know. You can get a... Yeah, exactly. You can get, when you're on your test, you can actually get banned from driving. If you're doing something terrible, you can pass your test, but you can get banned from driving if you're if you're doing something terrible you can pass your test but you can get banned from driving because you could accumulate enough points to get banned which is hilarious yeah you pass the test but you're doing but you

do but i'm fairly certain you can accrue uh yeah you can accrue points that mean that you um if you park if you did something weird but it wasn't in contravention of the actual test i'm fairly certain that's the case but you can get points on your license while you're doing your test which would be annoying if that took you over over the threshold for being banned speaking of like driving tests and driving licenses have i ever talked to you about the um that bit of footage i think you can still find it on the internet of the libertarian party like um yes yeah primary in the u.s where i think i think the candidate for the libertarian party is gary johnson it certainly was then who's like you know quite unquote reasonable libertarian and for those who haven't who haven't seen it or heard it he's he's asked a question among a load

of other candidates about whether he thinks people should have to have driving licenses and he says yes and the place erupts erupts he's like well i think you should have some kind of way of knowing whether you can drive or not no boom it is incredible it's absolutely amazing how you think in practice it's a good idea for no one to be have to pass a test to drive a car. Like eight lane wide motorways in the US. Yeah. I actually agree with that, to be honest. I think that's correct. You'd be fucking sitting pretty if that was the case. I know.

Yeah. Just let me have a go at it for crying out loud. I'll learn the job, so to speak. You wouldn't be in Canterbury now. You'd be anywhere in theory. Anywhere in the intercontinental UK. I'll just chuck this quick email in because it really made me laugh. It came in a little while ago.

And it's weird because I did the exact same thing when I was 23. Sam Cadman got in touch. He says, I was listening back to an episode where Office Park Hall was mentioned in the intro, and it brought back some crazy or hazy memories from my old uni days. I was at the old O2 Academy in Birmingham back in 2009, which had offices on the floors above it. Cue one crazy evening of £1.25 vodka Red Bull drinks, and by the end of the night, I was pretty drunk. I got separated from my housemates, but somehow found myself in the underground delivery area for the venue whilst looking for them. I took some stairs, and before I knew it, I was in the empty offices on the floors above.

As I went around the various rooms in the office, I wanted to ensure that I didn't get locked out so I could make my way back to the O2 Academy and to my housemates. So I decided to take the keys from all of the doors to the rooms that I'd gone through. The office was bare and there was no one around and if I was caught, I could just hand them back to security. However, I managed to find my way back to the outside of the venue via the rooftop and via a service staircase

without needing any of the keys. Needless to say, I was relieved, but the next day brought on shock. I found that I'd kept all of the keys and so I had about 20 to 25 keys from my time in this office and they stayed with me for the rest of the year until I moved out. He just stole all of the keys. But he said, upon reflection reflection i think that the office had been prepped for viewings uh for like a sale or a lease that makes it worse yeah this could be

the only reason for the office having the keys and all the locks all the doors being open and not having any furniture or possessions of any sort this may have caused some mayhem for an estate agent um yeah sam i did the exact same thing. In the Birmingham Auto Academy, I waited until a bouncer left his post for a piss or whatever and I ran up some stairs in the Birmingham Auto Academy around about 2004, I think.

Queens of the Stone Age had played earlier on. I sneaked up, found the Queens of the Stone Age dressing room, stole some cranberry juice, went on a fucking wild tour. You've told me this before.

I have, yeah, and I will have told it on this thing as well. And then just went on a fucking wild tour by myself. I used to love sneaking about when I was pissed and bored. And yeah, just kind of walking around, stole a bit of cranberry juice, walked around just the innards of the O2 Academy, found myself, no word of a lie, just the innards of the O2 Academy,

found myself, no word of a lie, inside the air conditioning unit for the entirety of the O2 Academy. Like a big video game fan that was like three times the size of me, just going... And a big vent that was just pushing... I was on my own, yeah. Just pushing air through the entirety of the O2 Academy.

Then I found my way down some stairs into the shopping centre that was next door. And yeah, so I was just walking around an abandoned shopping centre at fucking four o'clock in the morning, and I had to, there was this kind of little door that I managed to sort of clamber underneath,

do a little Indiana Jones through. But it just made me laugh because, Sam, I did the exact same thing in this exact same building around about the same time that you did it. Very strange. The two most disappointing words in that story, cranberry juice. I know, right? You've never told me that story before.

I have, I have, I definitely have. Because it was the same night that I... And then I didn't know how to get home. I've definitely told this story in the podcast where I didn't know where I was going, but I knew that my mate lived near the Saddam Hussein Mosque, RIP. Not the mosque, not the... Well, I mean, Saddam paid for it to be built, so I don't know. My feelings about Saddam Hussein, I've never really explored them. You tied yourself up in knots here.

He built a mosque. It was obviously unpalatable for that mosque to exist after the fall of Iraq, so therefore they renamed it or got rid of it or whatever. But they used to live... I got a taxi to the Saddam Hussein Mosque and then I got back to my mate's house. Slept, walked into... Remember that girl's room that was in the exact same position as my room? I knew this was not going to be

a heartwarming story forever. I told you! I was... Went for a piss, like, fucking five o'clock in the morning, and came out of the toilet and the toilet in his house was in the exact same position as the toilet in my house in Leicester. Came out, turned left, that's where my room is, climbed into what I thought was my bed, pushed a woman out of bed because I wasn't used to having women in my bed

and I was like, fucking get out, get out of my bed. And she woke up, called her ex-boyfriend who lived downstairs to come and turf me out. And, yeah, she was just like... And she... And I just climbed what I thought was my bed and just started pushing a woman out of the bed, going, get out of the bed.

Luckily, she was cool about it, which could have gone incredibly wrong and worse. And I'd have every right to be in prison right now. But yeah, just kind of, I slept, walked into someone else's bed. And it just, unlucky that it was a woman. Unlucky that, yeah, I just pushed out of bed. Didn't want them in there. You walked into the room saying, you will not believe the size of the fan.

The Cranbridge's. I mean, it's at least three times the size of me. Oh dear. Unbelievable. Listen, we have to end the show there. I mean, there's no way to follow that, really. I mean, the gift of Donaldson keeps on giving. It's a part of the reason why we do this show. In fact, some would argue it's the main part of the reason we do this show. From that

to opening his own steampunk cafe in Blackpool, the man has got it all in his locker. Thank you very much for listening to the show. As ever, please do leave us a review if you enjoy it on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. And we very much appreciate that too. We're back on Monday.

Have a great weekend. Look after yourselves and each other. Email in your favourite stories. Email in things you want us to talk about. And we will do so. We'll speak to you then. Say goodbye, Peter. Goodbye. Thanks. Goodbye from me as well. talk about and we will do so we'll speak to you then say goodbye peter goodbye thanks goodbye from

me as well the luke and pete show is a stack production and part of the acos creative network