The Luke and Pete Show - The Pubsman Litmus Test

Episode Date: July 20, 2026

Top five Daves: go. Once that’s squared away, Luke and Pete get down to the business of boozer etiquette and methodologies for sorting the true pubsmen from the pretenders.Also on offer today: late-night football watching habits, the tedium of Steven Bartlett and a welcome return to the subject of Flat Earthers and the tangled web that is their belief system.Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: [e-mail] Luke and Pete Show is the sometimes ridiculous, always funny podcast with Luke Moore and Pete Donaldson: two men who have time on their hands and a good idea of how to waste it. Subscribe to get your comedy podcast fix every Monday and Thursday. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

He refuses to get a new telly and it is driving. Mad. Why do you care? Because he keeps on going, do you know a sound engineer can get a Sony, basically a Sony RF transmitter that came out in the 90s? And he got like an engineer who can get me a... No, just buy a new telly.

Stop being an idiot. Welcome! This is a Luca Pitcho. Stop being an idiot and buy new telly. It's the... advice we can all hang our hats on. Certainly where our friends from Tashiba are concerned. Tashiba are not sponsoring the show.

Well, I'll mention them anyway. Although I did meet Toshiba Dave earlier for a coffee. Well, there you go. So, you seem pretty down on Tashiba Davin right now. What did he say to you? No, I was very happy to see him. Tashiba Dave is one of the good ones. Who picked up the coffee for the bill for the coffee?

Was it you? It was free from the kitchen down there. Well, there we go. well, I don't really know where that leaves us. I don't think that he should get presence on one of the world's foremost podcasts. Foremost shit posting podcast. Yeah, for the price of a coffee that he didn't even pay for.

But like I said, I love Toshiba Dave. He's one of my faves. Yeah, one of the fave daves. He's a fave Dave. Could you rank top five daves in your life? Yeah, I probably could. So I put Toshiba Dave in there just because it would be rude to not include it now. No.

I would say Dave Watson. Reserve list. One of my best friends growing up, Dave Watson. Yeah. Good lad. Works in, lives in Exeter now. Nice. An aircraft mechanic.

Okay. Nice fella. I haven't seen him for years. We'd love to catch up with him again. I would say, who else? You've got a mate called Dave, haven't you? Dave, Shine. He wouldn't be up there.

No, fair enough. He wouldn't be up there, no. I think I met him a couple times. Yeah. He's all right. He's all right. I'll tell you what I do, actually. He's in the Navy.

He retired from the Navy and then immediately got posted to Germany for some reason. I don't know how that one. works. I don't know how it works either. So I'd go Dave Cartledge, of course. Cartledge, D.C. Got to be in there. I'd go, David Clark, my old friend Clarkie from school.

Nice fellow. He actually sent me a message. You ever day have a photograph of him with a lovely mustache and a bald head. He looked a bit like the iron shake. Nice. Are you looking through your fun for Dave's that you've got? I am, yeah, I am. What's wrong with that?

It's a problem because a lot of my, a lot of people who work on, who've worked on my house in the past have been called Dave. So I've got quite a lot of like people who, fixed stuff in my phone as Dave. Finally for now, I would go with Dave Cronan, who is now a bus driver, but used to be one of the UK's foremost music managers. Lovely.

Used to manage up the driving. Brilliant. To manage Ash. Used to manage Dexie's Midnight Runners. How long we're Ash. That's how Ash used to conduct their stage. How long were Ash? They used to conduct their stage behaviour in 1998.

Hello, we're Ash. That was their own, the only badinage you got from them. I rate that. They were quite young, I suppose, weren't they? I've said this to you before. Depending on the type of music, I prefer the artists I go to see live

to not say anything at all. Less time more rock. No, but you not want them to deliver some really tepid sort of stand-up to which everybody absolutely shits their pants over. Yeah. I don't really, I just, I just, so one of the bands I managed back in the day

was a kind of new wave they looked a bit like goths but they were more kind of new wavy and they looked cool they used to spend a lot of time over their hair they dressed properly all the rest of it right

and it used to and when they walked on stage and started playing it looked and sounded fucking brilliant right yeah and what I always used to say to the lead singer is stop making shit jokes

after like the third song it just completely destroys the fucking the myth I completely agree you're a rock and roll band And in the folk tradition, for example, some people would argue, I think, that the chat in between the songs,

the storytelling in between songs, it's almost as important as the songs themselves. And that's part of that culture. Yeah. But not in new wave. Not in new way for crying out loud. Yeah, you lose cool points, don't you? Very few people can kind of...

You have to be very famous before you start busting out, you know, your James Blunt, humorous jokes. Agree. James Blunt is very good on Twitter. Some would say he's on Twitter and he's a songwriter. By the way, I forgot about Patonk Dave. I should include Patonk Dave, of course. Yes, that's right, yeah.

Would you be interested in introducing a new Dave into your life? Who's your favourite, Dave? Who's your standout, Dave? Well, I have to say Dave, Dave, Dave Shine, the man in the Navy, don't I? You said he's not going to be in the top five. I said he wouldn't be in your top five. No, don't you?

Mark, no. Yeah, exactly. Is he in yours? Yeah, I guess he'd have to be. He would have to be, I suppose. Is he the big guy who played for Perfidius Albu. No, he's kind of my size Dave's up, he said Dave's up all the time

Dave's up Oh, that's Dean, that was Dean, that was Dean Right, okay, no, no, no, that wasn't him I don't know who that Dean was to be You should do, big guy A Mysterious Dean has entered the fray That's Peter Andre saying, that's Peter Andre You used to say Dean's up

Dean's head, Dean's head, Dean's head Or Dean's up or something Wasn't it, not leave it, what was his name, Mark Scott, his name was. Oh, that's it, Mark Scott. And it sounded like Mark Scott. So you're like, well, Mark's got it or Mark Scott.

I don't know why you would say such kind of, you know, why you would use both of the words. What would be your top three shouts while you're playing an organized game of a living side peak? What would you say? Keepers is up there, isn't it? Like, which ones I'm shouting? Yeah.

I'm not really a shouter. I will be rather sniveling and admit to the closest opposition player that the referee got the call wrong in our favor. Oh, that is absolutely pathetic stuff. To try and curry favour to sort of say, look, he might have been shit on football that lad, but I tell you what, he was lovely. And he played with a straight bat, they would say. You wouldn't shout anything, though.

I wouldn't shout anything. I don't really shout, to be honest. What would I shout when you play with me? Everything under the sun, I imagine. I wish you'd have been there when that man cleaned me out and has fucked up my ankle for about a year and a half. I wish you were there to defend me there. God damn it.

I'd make sure the injury he suffered would be much worse than yours. Good. And that is a Lukemore guarantee, by the way. Yeah. I couldn't walk today. My uncle was like, I was trying to walk. I was having a two-mile with the dog quite early on. So I dropped my car off to get the bumper repented because it is fucked.

And it's a big car on it. And I went, all right, all right, Sammy will go for a two-mile walk. That's a little bit approaching three. That's like a half an hour walk. Yeah, but for us it's, yeah, on a hot day. Sounds like he's got little legs, isn't he? He's only got little legs for crying out loud. Although he's, I'm watching him now, and he's literally sat in the fucking sunshine.

Like dogs are like, you shouldn't be sitting in the sunshine if you're a dog. But they just love sunbathing, little mentalist. He'd be alright, wouldn't he? I don't know, man, like, you've got to be careful with dogs because they're covered in fur and that, and it is rather a hot day, though it is rather windy. What I find for my cats is, I think it's a hot day, they just, they slow right down underneath him. I just lie down. Yeah. That's all they do.

Would Sammy be kind of enthusiastic about a walk? Yeah, he lives a walk. He loves anything, really. He's three years old. Everything's great when you three, I'd say. It's true, absolutely. So my shouts in football would be quite arched stuff. Who's got the packet in?

Yeah, exactly. I do that a lot. Yeah. The best ever shouts were big pavs, though, weren't they? Yeah, he was very good at that sort of thing. Do you talk to so many? Me running after a ball. Fuck me.

It's a slug with Ashton. asthma, you know, that kind of stuff. Yeah. Disrespectful of both the sluggists and the, and the asthmatics as well, isn't it? Get that slug in the fucking salt pot. So that one as well. Big fan of that. Big fan of that.

Yeah, exactly. Good. Anyway, what's been new with you, Peter? What's been going on? I was just looking at recent recordings. And last time we'd met, we talked about the Bayou Tapestry Court a lot, I think. But we do have a Tem of Water Up date, by the way, don't we? We do have a Thames Water Up?

Actually, do we? What's happened in Thames Waters' updates? I think there's talk that it's going to be folded. Yes, I believe, oh yeah, that's been rattling on since they bought it. Yeah, I think it might be made official. Right, okay. We can't make a excessive business that you have to buy from us that everyone needs. It's impossible.

Yeah. How does that kind of, so how does that work? Do we give them money or just lose the money that, you know, just becomes nationalised and we become? The water then becomes officially ownerless. So what you can do is go and collect as much. much water as you want and it can be yours. Wherever it comes from, yeah.

You can keep it. Are you allowed, what, horse pipe bands, get stuffed. I'm allowed to use as much of this as I like. If I get it out of the ground, it's mine. What I would do is I would basically, essentially kind of grab as much water as you can and then just try and sell it. Buckets of water a quid. Buckets of water a quid.

Waterman. A little waterman walking around. Oh, speaking of that, by the way, this has reminded me. so I posted a tweet do you post a tweet yeah I think so yeah post you click the word post Bruno's nodding along enthusiastically

and he's a young man so I'll take his word for it I posted a tweet and I'd like to read it to you Peter if you don't mind because I'd be interesting your thoughts on it because it did get a little bit of traction not the one about David Ike

I posted a tweet saying that I don't think you should be able to reserve a table in a pub and certainly not for a big game. Do your doggies and respect the tradition. Get there early or defer to the proper pub types and stand near the box as befitting your fair weather pub status.

What do you think about that? Well, I believe you took a little bit of, you took a little bit of abuse. A few straight. We always do. I had a few experienced pubsmen getting in touch to me, Sam, couldn't agree more. Someone called Sam replied saying,

couldn't agree more. This absurd post-COVID table reservation stress has almost completely destroyed my verve as a pubsman. But it almost kind of means that you can't turn up with a group of friends. Like you go into a pub most evenings and every table is taken up, you know, 6 o'clock, 6.30. And nobody ever turns up on time. That's the most annoying thing.

I hate it. It's not what a pub is. It's not a restaurant. No. It's not a restaurant. No. Yeah, I know a lot of them have aspirations. I do agree with that.

But then also on the flip side, I'm going to drive over to Wee Al's house this evening. Where does he live? He lives in Holloway. So I thought I... You know, I thought we might be doing something. So I got a babysitter and the babysitter went, do you still name me?

And I was like, oh, yeah, go on then. So I drove over to, so I'm going to drive over there. But, and you've really can't play fast and loose with the drink driving rules on an England evening. The only time that I've ever seen... I'll be pissed, I'll be pissed. Now, and so I'm going to have to have... I think I'm allowed one fizzy aunt,

and that's it over two hours. You lose you at an hour, so I think you'll be alright there. Anyway, and so that's what I'm going to be doing. But I was sort of thinking, oh, maybe I could just go to a pub. Maybe you could get a place in a pub. But I was like, I don't, it's really hard to have a reliable place to watch football. I think that's why our kind of watchalongs were so successful. It's really hard to find a place to do that sort of thing

and have a reliably good experience unless you really, really know the pub really well. But thinking of booking a chair or a table, anything closer, anything closer than a week away is just a bit of a lottery. I'd rather just watch it at home with my owl. Yeah, do you think the pub should be, if you want a table, get there early? Yeah. Simple as that. Yeah, but how many have you got?

If one person turns up, have you got a, like, there should be seats. And if you get there quick enough, you have the seats that are in question. You know what I mean? If there's four of you, four of you have to turn up at the time and you've got to take that. I mean, it's an ass on. What's your policy on moving chairs from one table to another? I would say no tables can be moved. Right.

And there needs to be an associated amount of chairs for each table. Right. That's what I'd say. And I'd say, if you want a table in my pub for the football, get there early. Because it's the best of both worlds for me. If you start thinking, oh, God, I need to get there four hours before kickoff to get a table. then I'm hoovering up those sweet beer profits. Yeah, it's a good point actually.

And I just think far too often you've got people booking a table for a football match who don't ever go to the pub and they'll turn up at fucking 7.30 and the game of cook of 8, they'll have one pint, they'll nurse it and they'll go home again.

And I think if you want to go to the pub and have one pint, that's fine. But you shouldn't be able to book a table because I think it's disrespectful to the experienced pubsmen who keep the pubs from afloat. But do you not think that they would even regard you getting involved in the debate because you're not an experienced pubsman?

No, I am an experienced pubsman. I'm a lapsed experienced pubsman. A lapsed experienced pubsman. So do you get the table shout before everybody else then? Do you get right? No, but I want it to be made absolutely clear that I am perfectly comfortable in a pub environment. I'm not someone who like, you know,

I tell you can do you can tell if someone's a pubsman or not. Great litmus test if someone's a pubsman. Or pubs woman, not. not being gender specific here. Pubsman is a pleasing word to say, so that's what we're saying it. But pub's person doesn't sound as good. If you arrange to meet someone,

there's just two of you at the pub, and the person who gets there first, do they go in and just order a pint to stand at the bar like a pubsman, or do they stand outside nervous waiting for the other person to turn up? And if it's the latter, you're not a pubsman. Okay, fair.

What would you do? I'd wait outside. Why? Just go and get a pint. Just go and get a pint for crying out loud. Would you ever feel comfortable just having a pint at the bar on your own? The paint, yeah, I would. But the paints only get better.

The paints only get better, the cloth, like, the paint in your mind gets better the longer you've got to wait for it. Because sometimes I'll be going into London and I'll be like, right, I'll get, I'm really thirsty. But if I get a bottle of water now, that's going to reduce how good the first paint is. Nice thinking. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah.

And it's so it's a bit. of a, it's a bit of a pain if you ask me. I think that first pull on that first pint after a hard day's work is a nice pull. I can see off most of a pint on the first pint. It's just, and it's, that's a bad look.

It's just a bad look. No, I think that's impressive. I'm impressed on that. I remember whenever I used to go, not very often, but I have done it, drinking with Big Al Brazil back in the day. He would have a sip of a pint and like,

upwards of half the pint would be gone. Yeah, yeah. It's mad, isn't it? It's absolutely mad. Yeah, but you can really, I can really see that off. I remember sitting there looking at him and going, he's opened his throat to get that down there quick.

What kind of entertainment will be on display at Al's then? What kind of foods are you going to put on? Oh, little punch in judas show, I imagine. I imagine it'll be pasta best. Al loves a bit of pasta. He might order in a PT, you never know. But I don't think there'll be. I mean, bearing in mind,

I just invited ourselves around to his house. I'll probably have to be in charge of the food as it comes in. But he's a guy who got so pissed he's stood out queuing outside his own toilet for half an hour. Yeah, I don't think it will be that bad. And I certainly will be joining him on that because, as I said, I'll be driving back. The only time anyone I know has ever been stopped was fresh after the euro's loss against Italy. Well, your friends should be drink driving, Peter, first and foremost.

My friend wasn't drink driving. It was Sarah. she wasn't drink driving. Oh, okay, but she got stopped. So that's the only time she got sort of stopped. Oh, I see. Okay, right. Yeah, yeah.

I think it's fair enough. I'll be watching at home. I'll be recording this at the time, by the way, just for people know, we're recording this before the England and Argentina game. That's right, yes. Which is why I was saying this. But I would certainly be watching a lot.

I'll get quite, I just don't really, I mean, haven't said that I am, I do feel like I'm at lapsed, but experienced pubsmen, but I don't really like watching football in the pub that much, if it's a game I really care about.

I certainly don't. like watching it drunk, which pubs tend to do to me. Yeah. I think when I... Well, it's label, aren't they? I know, right? When I, when I'm, when I'm, I watched, all the matches I've watched. I've watched the first, I've watched all the group stages at 40 foot brewery and I very much

enjoyed that, but I was more drunk than I needed to be, I think. And then we had, um, uh, where did I watch the Dr. Congo match? I can't remember now. Um, I watched that somewhere. Um, I think I might watch. No, I watched that in the, in, in my back garden. okay. But it's,

you're always kind of, if you're not watching it in your front room with your own telly, you are just making compromises left, right and center. You feel like, if you're hosting,

you've got to run around with drinks and stuff and handing out cans of stuff. And then you just, and then, so the last match I watched was round my neighbor,

Damien, David bought his big Aldi inflatable screen and a cheap projector. And it worked for most of the time, but the problem is it was quite windy on the day. So the projector

kept doing, like a Japanese sort of bow every time, every few seconds. And which... I respect. It's respectful. I know. I know. Which pissed off a couple of other neighbours who just left without saying. Did they?

How bad was it though? How bad was it? It was bored on and watchable at times, but sometimes it was okay. But you stayed out of social partners, presumably. Oh yeah, hugely. And I was involved in wiring the speaker up as well. So I'd brought around some wires that I wanted returned. So no, it was, that was okay.

So I do sort of think, the best one was Mexico. 2 a.m. watching it with my partner. And I'd made some absolutely disgusting Doritos dip with mayonnaise and lemon juice and garlic, horrible, absolutely disgusting. What, you got out of bed for that? I got out of bed for that and ate some Doritos. And you ate some really horrible, breathy food. Yeah.

And then went back to bed again. Yeah, true. Yeah, correct. What do you want, you didn't eat anything when you got up for the Mexico match? No, I stayed in bed. Stayed in bed. I tell you what I did. You are asking to fall asleep at half time.

then that's a nightmare terrible technique i was in the spare room and i um so why you sleep anyway yeah because you're naughty of my mum's house i uh i um i had the laptop there ready to go i had it all planned out and at five to one which is when it was originally going to kick off i opened the laptop ready to go seen it had been delayed by an hour closed it again went back to sleep set the alarm for five to two it's exactly the same thing got it open spent about 50 the first 15 minutes feeling like absolute shit. Yeah. And then finally got into it.

But I didn't move out of the bed. Right. There's no way I'm getting food at that time. That's horrible. Why would you do that? I'm not hungry at 2 a year. I'm watching football. Were you hungry though?

Were you actually hungry? Yeah, could have eaten the Doritos. I mean, the dip was terrible, but, you know. Did the dogs get up as well? Yeah, Sammy got up because I was eating Doritos. That's why. Did you do a little test of whether it was you eating the Dorito or Sammy eating the Dorito?

I didn't know. That's a normal. That's an old Ramble Trubb. You should have. Absolutely. By the way, quick have follow-up on some earlier stuff we talked about. You mentioned you were fascinated

by how Chairman Mao got his haircut. Right, yeah, okay. Can you just remind people of how he got his haircut? He would just walk around the room and people would have to follow him, snapping away. Cutting away. Which is basically what happened by son's haircut the other day. Which is still five seconds.

But apparently, according to producer Bruno, take a bow, producer Bruno, like Pete's neighbour's TV screen. Mowse Barber was known as Big Beard Wang Big Beard Wang Well he probably didn't have time to cut his own beard Did he? So I guess he's probably

But you think he's perfectly positioned to do it He's not cutting Mao's hair all the time, is he? I guess being big as well does help, I suppose, isn't it? You know what I mean? Like I guess it's kind of, yeah It means that you've got like a bit more of a vantage point To get all to that But if I, if I Google Big Beard Wang

What's coming up is not what I expected to come up Right, okay. It's all sorts of stuff going on. There's all sorts of stuff. Another bit of admin. Remember we talked about the guy who runs the outdoor company, Columbia. That's right, yes, okay. Who said that he would give the entire company to any flat earther who could take a photo

of the edge of the world. Well, apparently a lot of them have come back at him saying they can't actually do that because it's beyond the ice wall that surrounds the world. and according to the most widely spread version of the flat earth theory NASA is guarding that wall and some people believe that beyond the ice wall are more secret continents secret continents

oh that's what we need isn't it there's always something in there's always something they're guarding secret continents why aren't we moving there isn't there a solution maybe they've got even worse maybe they're even worse time the worst continents they're too secret what if their world is our heaven

maybe they've got great yeah maybe they've got great Yeah, maybe there's just a load of procession of ice walled worlds that are flat, just having a great time and just, you know, the world's just kept progressively worse, the more right you go, the more left you go. Which way would you go to the right or left? Oh, I don't know. Depends on how big the ice wall is, I suppose. Whatever the shortest ice wall is, I'd be right over it.

But when they, so when they, if a flat earth person, say, circumnavigates the world, which some of them must have done, and they end up back where they started, what do they think's happening? What do you mean as in like? Well, because if they think the other is a flat like disk and then they obviously it's not, it's a sphere. So they go round the world looking for the edge and they end up back where they started again

because that's how the world is. What do they think's happening? Do you understand the question? I don't think they really sort of, I think that kind of mentality just isn't really sort of listen to what anyone says. Do you know what I mean? They'll think of a reason, won't they?

They'll think of a reason why it's, you know, it fits into whatever they were talking about earlier, I suppose. Or even just change it. Because don't you have to believe that Australia is faking that all the people there are actors, right? I believe so, yeah. You have to believe that as well. It seems like a strange.

Seems like a strange approach one would suggest. And importantly, it's why, remember, the Flat Earth Society believes that the Sun and the Moon are spherical, but the Earth is a disc. Right. Why have they gone for the... Why have they gone for that? They think the Earth is flat.

They've been ground down. so far. They're just like, well, all right, fine. You can have the, you can have the moon and the sun being same person at the risk of sounding unfair to you, which of course I wouldn't regularly do, Peter, it reminds me a bit of when you get into positions and arguments and have to keep doubling down until there's nowhere left to go. He's not had an argument in ages, so you don't know what I'm like. You don't know what the new improved Pete Donaldson is like. Oh, have you got some new tactics? Have you had the software update? Just have a cry. Just to just start openly weeping until people will just sort of leave.

the room, really. You used to wet yourself, didn't you? I'll just say, can I have the room, please? And then it just stops. Can have the room, please? That's a really nice tactic, actually. They're really intense, like, negotiation. Power move. Yeah. Can I have the room, please? Sorry, can you please just give me some grace and some understanding and just can I just have the room for a while? And make them all leave. Yeah. And then just put on Netflix. Just get on your day. Yeah. Yeah. Amazing.

What was the last big argument we had? Can't really remember. I can't really. It's probably your fault, though. Probably. Sounds like it, doesn't it? It's going to be your fault, whatever it was. Sounds like it. Yeah. Probably eating in the studio. But then you did a skit the other day where you drank a whole can of beer in the studio and I enjoyed that. As I said, it's like smoking in,

it's like smoking on the stage. You're like to do it if it's part of the production. Yeah. So there we go. Is that why you've written this new ramble sketch involving about me eating whatever I want? Eat and delivering Deliveroo, Deliveroo Donaldson, I call myself and I deliveroo stuff to the middle of the show.

I know you can eat buffet coming up. Oh, mate. Exactly. I'll tell you something. I am excited for this game tonight but it's going to be pretty irrelevant talking about it because the guys, by the time they hear it, it's going to be long gone,

isn't it? But it's very hard on recording pre-rex because of this and then we can't get that stuff off our mind because... Well, I've listened to a live ramble and then a non-live ramble today. What did you think is a live one?

You weren't on it. Did you like it? It's good. I was on my little bike because my asthma is crap again. So I was on my little bike to try and improve it. I'm sick of it.

Can I get a lung transplant at four? I'd love to put you in one of those big iron lungs. Hmm. Would you take that now, have you offered it? Would it make it feel better? Probably. So your partner you have access to you,

has to wheel you around in the big iron lung? They always look quite happy, the iron lung guys. They don't have your lungs anymore, do they? No, I think the last one left. Couldn't it? The last one left quite recently. It was kind of like, what do they do?

What do they do with all those iron lungs? Could I find like a reconditioned? you know, rubber gasket replaced iron lung just to hang out in for a little while. You can get lung transplants. I'd never really consider that. Yeah. Do they leave the...

Is it like the other lamp transplant? Do they leave the other lungs in? Maybe it's a good question. I don't think you've got the most compelling case for a lung transplant, though. No. Which seems to be, I've got asthma and it's mildly annoying.

That doesn't seem to be a compelling case for a long transplant, does it? I don't think it's going to rocket you to the top of the queue. No. I better start laying it on thick, then. Bruno's typing something about lung transplants. Let's wait and see what he says. The last US patient of polio and an iron lung just died, apparently.

There we go. That's sad. I'm sorry to hear that, Bruno. Thanks for letting us know, though. Thanks, mate. Brazil got a, speaking of Brazil, he got a replacement. Liver, was it quite recently? So he should be allowed.

So I think I should be allowed to get whatever I need. because I've never smoked so my lungs should be premo pre more lungs we don't we don't we're absolutely fair I mean I don't think we know the circumstances around Alan's liver transplant yeah Alan's liver transplant

a sentence that has been said for decades but you might have paid for it can you pay for it I don't think you can pay for it in this country give me that liver give me that liver we're crying out loud It's an hundred grand. It is a hundred grand.

It'd be more than that, wouldn't it? I'd be more than that. I can see me getting involved in the little golf fund to me. If you want more of me, give me some money. Also, Alan's, you know, can I say this? Probably not. Alan's had an illness, hasn't he? Alan's had an illness, right?

An addiction? Oh, right. Okay, yeah. Yeah. If we're doing, if we're going down that route, fine. But I mean... People are doing that, aren't they? Unless it suits their agenda to not do that, aren't they?

Sometimes people say it's an illness because it suits their agenda and sometimes they want to make a point about something else so they don't say that. Sometimes you have two glasses of wine, your podcast bad for two days afterwards. Was it with Stephen Bartlett three glasses of wine, was it? Was it three glasses of wine? To me honest, if you're genuinely worried about that sort of thing

and are willing to talk about it, you know, to the nation like that, I think probably three glasses of wine is excessive for Stephen Bartlett. You know what I mean? I think if you're going to be worried about that sort of thing, I think three's too many. But in the words of bunk from the wire, it just makes me sad motherfucker how far we done fell. Because when we were kids,

we had Pete, where we had rock stars, they were doing whatever. They were, Ozzy Oswald, he struck a bottle of Jack Daniels every night. Yeah. And he didn't complain about it as far as I remember.

He said, hmm, delicious. Yeah, can I ask you very much? Can I ask some more please? Delicious. Yeah. And I'm not, I'm not condoning that as a lifestyle,

but I just think there's an honesty about it. I'm a rock star. That's what rock stars do. And then you've got Bartlett, now people have got Bartlett to look up to you. My biggest concern about Bartlett, isn't the conspiracy theory nonsense, the medical misinformation,

they're generally making young people feel bad about themselves because they're not capable of doing what he does, and he makes it very clear. My biggest personal complaint is just how fucking dull it is. It's just so dull. How can you have, such a big empire and such a big fucking impact and footprint without having actually ever done anything interesting.

Like the most interesting thing he claims is that you built up a business that really normal people don't even really know what it is and then sold it for loads of money that wasn't actually as much money as he claimed it was. And that's the most interesting thing that puts him in a position. That would be generations gone by the most boring thing anyone could do. If you said, if you were like a kid when we were growing up and you're, what do you want to do? I want to build up a business and then sell it.

Oh, fuck off. No one wants to do that. What are you talking about? Don't you want to be a footballer or like an astronaut or a fucking rock star or something? Like everything, even the most interesting stuff that he talks about is still really boring. And yet we're supposed to, young people are supposed to aspire to it.

I think it's truly depressing. Yeah. Well, we will agree with that until the end of the Loken Pete show run, one would suggest, because we've got no appetite for that sort of caper, to be quite frank. Just be it. Be normal. Be normal. No, don't be, because that is actually arguably representing an abnormal version of normality. Don't be normal. Be interesting. Be interested. Be interesting. Be safe. Be Stephen Bartlett. Be Stephen Bartlett safe. A crying out loud. See it. Say it's solid. Right, let's get out of here.

This has been the Look at Pete Show. We'll be back on Thursday, the 23rd of July. Look after yourselves. And whatever you choose to do with your lives, you know, do it interestingly, as Luke has asked you to do something. You've got one life.

You've got one life, live it. Live, love, live it. Live long love. Love, love. Love ling love. You know, it's gin o'clock. It's gin o'clock. Big beard wang.

Let's get big bea-wai. The Luke and Pete show is a stack production and part of the ACAST creator network.