The Luke and Pete Show - The Scream Database

Episode Date: November 23, 2020

Welcome back to The Luke and Pete Show! Luke's away for the day, so Pete's joined by comedy writer and Wrestle Me star, Marc Haynes! On this episode, we’re sitting down with a slice of Kendal Mint Cake and some Rum Babas to discuss phone calls with ghosts, how to harvest your screams, and why Heaven needs a Zoom doorbell. Elsewhere, Pete tells us all about religious superdogs while Marc shares his big bucket list dreams alongside what *not* to do with a new PS5. Do you have any stories to scream about? Email in to [e-mail]! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

yes yes it is the luke and the peach shop my name is pete donaldson i'm joined by a man who isn't luke moore i'm luke moore and i dislike foreigners oh i can't believe you said that a little more you are getting cancelled mate oh i better leave then i'm gonna go and write some horrible graffiti on a on a uh what are those clinics called where unmarried mothers go? A Mary Stokes clinic. I'm going to write what I think about female rights.

So I better go. I'm going to leave you in the hands of this guy. Oh, hello. What a horrible man. Horrible man. Luke Miller. I'm glad he's not on this show. What an unlikable young man that Luke Moore is. I'm joined by Mark Haines. Mark, where can we usually be

found doing our shit? We can normally be found on some wasteland and we record a show called Wrestle Me, which is about the horrible and frightening world of professional wrestling. It is. We're currently recording some shows for Christmas and we call them the Wrestle Me-muses because we're very creative like that.

Sometimes it's good not to do a lot of work into these things. There is slightly, you know, a lot of people say, oh, the first idea is the best one. Yeah. You know. Not the case. I mean, never the case. Never the case.

Never the case. Never the case. But I think there is something about, I don't like really things that are, you go, oh, that's clever. I don't know. WrestleMemus, you go oh that's clever i don't wrestle memos you go it's got the word mass it must be christmas yeah it's about wrestling me that's all you need people try too hard these days they do they have too much pride they're like i'm gonna

make a good job of this don't make a good job don't make a good job because people will expect that level every week and if you work for someone else and it's not like your company and you make all the money damn right don't give them your best. Never give them your best. Give them half. Give that. Yeah, top level.

Yeah. Jeez. The rest of the time you just run out of fumes. I do quite a lot of work at the minute. Yeah. You're a busy period.

You're a busy boy. And I would say, you know, even though I'm at my busiest, when I'm like actually in someone else's office, I would say I do between 10% and 15% of the work that they would reasonably assume that I do.

And what I do, I spend a lot of time looking at stuff online. Thinking about stealing things. Thinking, you see. Thinking, that's the thing. If someone goes, what are you doing? And you're just like, I'm just trying to think over it. I'm ruminating. They can't prove it.

They can't prove it yet. They can't prove what I'm thinking trying to think over it. I'm ruminating. They can't prove it. They can't prove it yet. They can't prove what I'm thinking about. No. No. Absolutely not. Some of them will be appalled at some of the stuff I've thought about when I've been on their premises. I mean, it shouldn't be allowed.

No. It should not be allowed. There are no rules in Mark's mind. But yes, this is a little pitch here. Basically, if you're familiar with a little pitch here, we turn up, we talk shite for a good while and then we go home, really. It's as simple

and as unalloyed and as unpolished as that, really. Well, I'm not going to give you 10 to 15% today, Pete. I might just be saying that, but I am going to give you 100%. Thanks, Mark.

Make it so good, mate. So good. So Luke's not here. He's away. I don't actually know what he's doing. How's he gone away? He's not away. You've said. I don't actually know what he's doing. How has he gone away? He's not away.

You've said too much. I think he's taken a few days off. I think around about this time he would usually be in America. His partner is American. Yes. So I think it must be quite depressing if you're American and you can't go home for the holidays. Oh, my God.

It's something you do every year. I was speaking to a lady on a set the other day and she is from France yes she lives in Paris and she has been

unable to get back there she just cannot get back that's such a short little leap as well I was saying to her just go back and she was like oh no

the general feeling is that you know we should not be doing that is it the rules is it the rules is it in the rules no exactly is it in the rules just Is it the rules? No, exactly.

Is it in the rules? Just get back. But she was like, I mean, Paris is so beautiful and Christmas and everything. She told me where she lived and I was like, I would be back in Paris in a heartbeat.

I would not be knocking around Hackney in the grimest, sort of grey November weather. I don't live far from Hackney. I don't want to be where I am. I just want to get away, Pete. Do you want to get away really badly? I just want to I just want to get away Pete I want to go home to Japan I just want to get

I'm sore I'm in a new place at the moment I'm enjoying it but I'm just bored I bought a scooter that I can't drive because of really tedious administrative reasons I can't get it

on the road because it doesn't have a license plate but i can't get a license plate until it is insured but nobody will insure me because it has no license plate this is like when people who are homeless talk about getting benefit yes you're stuck in a loop stuck in this loop but instead of a a life-changing uh loop where I can't find... No, Pete. Health support and hormone. I think everyone agrees that your problem is the worst. It's, oh, man. Oh, dear Lord.

Where do you get postal orders now, Agit? The DVLA want a postal order. Do they? Yes. A postal order and a shit. A postal order. And they'd like a little bit of Kendall mint cake. Yeah.

And some rum bar bar. Oh, I had some rum bar bar. Such a dated little dessert. Why is it, is rum bar bar like a peach melba? No, I think it's like. It's a cake with like booze in it. Yeah, I think you'd sort of say it's more like a chocolate bomb these days. What's a chocolate bomb?

Well, you know, like a chocolate sort of dessert that has has an interior of some sort of some moist description yeah you know i think it's a rum bar bar as far as i remember is like a sort of quite horrible cheap chocolate cake because it was back in the 80s right i thought it was like a post-war we've ordered too much syrup we've got too much honey yeah let's let's no i think it's quite a bad sort of dry cake that's then covered in chocolate hundreds and thousands and I think the rum is put into it

to try and like make the cake less sandy it's an apology the rum is an apology the baba is is Turkish for this is no good

it's a rum no good in the bin yeah in the bin I mean if someone said do you want a rum baba I'd be like yes only because

I'm not 100% sure that what I've described is what it is. It could be anything. Oh, oh, Mark. Have you seen this, right? There is a website called justscream.baby. Oh, nice. I only get.baby URLs nowadays.

Justscream.baby is a website in which you can, it is a phone number. You can do it now if you want. I don't mind reading it out. Plus one, is that America? Plus one. 561-567-8431. You ring that number and you can leave a scream.

It's been a difficult year for a lot of us, but you can go on this, you leave a scream and it eventually finds its way onto this website. Really? And there's just, I'm looking at this now, and there's new screams that have been added two hours ago, seven hours ago, nine hours ago, of varying lengths. And yeah, do you want to hear a couple of screams that people have left?

What do you think? That's two people there were two people there they should they should call them back and say you're gonna have to pay twice turn for crying out this is one of those business ideas that the problem is you've set it up it's not a business i mean it can't possibly be a business but you've revealed what it is and you just go have a scream yeah i can scream into my own phone for free. That's true. I don't have to ring them. But you can join the scream database then, can't you?

There's a scream database? Is it like LinkedIn? They continually spam you. There's a list of... I'm trying to think at what time last night I rang this number. So it's half past one now. It's probably about half nine.

That's me! Oh my God! I picked that out of half nine. That's me! Oh, my God! I picked that out of fucking nowhere! That was me! Yes! I'm Scream 136, Mark! Oh, wow! That's more of a cackle.

Yeah? No? Yeah. I was... My partner was listening and just toying, so I just felt bad. I mean, Scream 1... There's a big leap between 136 and 138. There so I felt bad. I mean, scream once, there's a big leap

between 136 and 138. There's no 137. I don't know what's happened there. I probably shouted a rude word. That's not a scream.

No. Do any of these people understand what a scream is? No, they really don't. I'll do a couple of short ones. This is one second. Nah.

Three. Leroy Jenkins. Oh, Leroy Jenkins. Better. Well, it's nice to hear one scream. I know, yeah. That seems like one in five are screams. Which, again, is a flawed business plan.

You know, it's very simple. Do a scream. Leroy Jenkins. No, no. No, do a scream. You can shout Leroy Jenkins in your own time. We are harvesting screams. That's what we need.

Oh, I love that, though. I love stupid stupid websites. When I was a bit younger, not that much younger, but a bit younger. I don't know why I'm qualifying officer. There used to be a number that you could ring. Someone would say

oh, if you jam together like 5513, whatever it would be, they'd say you can hear this, it's a ghost and it's a girl who was murdered and this is the last thing she said like when your kids it's all a very confused thing you don't want to pick it apart and go i just thought he said it was a ghost or is it the murdered thing but you'd ring up and you could hear this strange sort of wailing voice they said three words and i can't remember what the three words were right but it was something like is sarah there and you it was so frightening as a kid to sort of like just go ah

what's all this oh we ring a number and you'd think you'd think oh it's probably gonna be like one of his his mum's mates and she'll go hello and you'll go oh but no it's this really frightening little voice that would sort of go what's this i did not care for that one bit what is this thing? Was that a little bit like the wrestling call where you would ring up and they would give you news about the wrestling? No, it predated, though, those paid ones.

I think I did tell the story on WrestleMania, but I was fascinated by a guy who I met who basically set up a thing where he'd tell you about the Yorkshire Ripper over a phone line. And it would take about, I don't know, you know, 35 minutes for him to get to the end of it

but it made thousands of just people going to phone boxes and ringing up it's like a podcast but you rang up to listen to it

exactly oh it was 80s podcasting involved a telephone box a slightly dodgy entrepreneur and you with a load of 10p's I would like to see the 10p's come back Pete

oh I'd like to see Weasley come back, Pete. Oh, I'd like to see Wayside Jack come back. Wouldn't it have been good if when Peter Sutcliffe had died... Wayside Jack had also died on the same day. Or they'd have got him to do a voiceover of some kind at the funeral. He's definitely dead now. So, I mean, if people are listening in America and stuff, people are just younger than... I mean, we shouldn't even know who stuff people are just younger than I mean we shouldn't

even know when was this kind of like hair day 78 79 through to 81 so before

like pretty much before we were even born we obviously the Oxford Ripper murdered a lot of women but there was a guy who

allowed the Oxford Ripper to murder more by ringing up the police and he was from Wearside and he had this very up the police, and he was from Wearside, and he had this very strong Wearside accent. He was called Wearside Jack at the time when they didn't know who he was. He diverted the entire...

There were issues with the police as well where the police basically put all their eggs in that one basket, and they decided this was definitely the Ripper, and they followed him. So they discounted anyone who didn't have a Wearside accent, and that allowed the real Ripper. And they followed him. So they discounted anyone who didn't have a Wearside accent. And that allowed the real Ripper

to escape underneath the net. Incredible, really. You and your lads aren't any closer to catching me, he'd say. And then he played Andrew Gold's Thank You For Being A Friend at the end of the thing, which is actually the most frightening thing

about the whole thing. Oh, that's wonderfully chilling. Yeah, really frightening. Down the road and back again. That one, yeah. Oh, the Golden whole thing. Oh, that's wonderfully chilling. Yeah, really frightening. Down the road and back again. That one, yeah. Oh, the Golden Girls thing. You won't catch me anywhere. I'll say goodbye now.

Thank you for being a friend. Oh, no. Really creepy. I did not care for that one bit. No, that actually made me think that Wearside Jack would have been a better murderer than the real one. That's purely chilling. A good bit of sort of flair.

How long did he go to prison for? Presumably he was sidetracked. He was only discovered I think and revealed in maybe the 2000s. Right.

And yeah he did spend I think maybe four or five years a sentence but I don't believe he was in the best of health and I believe he actually pre-deceased the Yorkshire Ripper.

Very fond of the sauce. If he's dead. Ifceased the Yorkshire Ripper. But he funded the source. If he's dead. If he isn't, I don't know. Imagine with the pearly gates going, oh, I'm definitely the Yorkshire Ripper. Yeah, I shouldn't think he's necessarily going to be going that way. Oh, yeah, I forgot about all the things he did. I forgot all the things he did.

Maybe, do you think when you die, you all get to go to heaven and that's what the pearly gates are? Why would they have gates otherwise? Yeah. If you didn't automatically, if you're only up there, why do gates exist?

Yeah. Oh, am I going to let you in? Yeah, they're simply ornamental. You know. All right, I've absolutely shat myself there, mate. Yeah. That really freaked me out, St. Peter. Why are they even...

Just put a little stick with one of those Zoom doorbells on. Yeah. And just get, I ring the doorbell. Completely. Come in. Yeah, well, you see a load of security at a game when you're going up there and he's like, tell me your name. And you're like, well, how have I ended up here otherwise?

Yes. You know, this is. This is going to be, I'm not going with all those unconfirmed babies into purgatory. Yeah, exactly. You get through and there's a sign and it says, this way heaven, this way hell. And you go, well, do I go that way?

And they go, yeah, the hell one doesn't lead anywhere. Take it the fuck down. This is really freaking me out. That's the sort of thing they'd be doing in hell. Yeah. Where they would have a thing. Yeah, tricking you. Yeah, of course you'd go heaven. Of course you'd go, ah course it's hell yeah i fooled you you know jesus it's so badly thought

out it's very basic stuff actually um uh i want to talk about something that has uh just presented itself to me uh very recently aka yesterday when i was watching the undertaker versus um we are talking about wrestling, but this isn't what the podcast is about. Are you familiar with the Undertaker? You might, who's the, what's the other match we're doing soon?

It's a little sneak preview of WrestleMemes. A Necro Butcher versus Samoa Joe. No, we're not doing Necro Butcher versus Samoa Joe. We're doing the Undertaker versus. Goldberg. Goldberg. Big muscle man.

They did a big wrestling show in Saudi Arabia. And, and the women couldn't wrestle that year because it's Saudi Arabia. And I think they did end up having a match in Saudi Arabia. They did, yeah. But they were hilariously covered from head to toe. They were. Even though the sexy boys.

Oh, yeah. The sexy boys will have their little pants. Don't for one minute think that homosexuality exists within Saudi Arabia, because if you do, they will cut you apart. Good Lord. But I was trying to figure out how offensive women wrestling compared to the Undertaker's entrance, which is the Undertaker's entrance.

He's the undead man. He brings on, he's got a lot of coffins. Yes. This paganist ritual of putting a body in the ground. Completely. With hooded figures and... A supernatural necromancer character. Not a lot of women wrestling.

Because of religion. That is fine. And that is not corrupting. You know what is corrupting? Alexa Bliss's knee. I will not, you will not be seeing that but it made me laugh because i was i was trying to figure out right where did where did um the the shtick of of funerals and putting it putting personally and obviously it's it's it is

pagan there's a all starting in greece as well um but uh pre-islam ir Iran had a religion, Zoroastrian. Yeah, the Zoroastrians. Yeah, lovely. And this has blown my mind, right? Sagdeed is part of a ritual which forms an essential part of the funeral ceremony of the Zoroastrians. The word Sagdeed means glance of the dog. So Sag means dog and Deed means to see. The Vendidad, I presume that's some kind of, yeah, it's a text,

speaks of different kinds of dogs, such as the shepherd's dog, the house dog and the hunting dog. They love dogs in this religion, absolutely love dogs. Additionally, it also classifies the fox, the weasel, the otter, the porcupine and the hedgehog as dogs. They love dogs. They love dogs so much, they're letting all of the other kind of animals into the dog classification.

I like that thing of going, we're going to reclassify these. Because there is that thing of people going, no, you're not. And you go, oh, so sorry, you had the first go, and now your word stays. I'll decide what I'm going to classify as a dog. I've got two facts about Zoroastrians. I believe Freddie Mercury was a Zoroastrian. Oh, really?

Okay. Not 100% sure on that. In a kind of New Agey kind of way? No, I think he was actually from... Part of his heritage. Right. He was a Persian. I think he used to describe himself as. And I believe the largest concentration of Zoroastrians outside of India

is in Rainer's Lane, which is northwest London. Oh, interesting. There's a big church there Zoroastrian church in a former cinema which is a lovely Art Deco cinema now looked after

by the Zoroastrians why does nobody talk about the Zoroastrians it's the most exciting word what religion do you want to be do you want to be Jewish

do you want to be Muslim do you want to be Christian or a Zoroastrian Zoroastrian Zoroastrian or Zoroastrian. Zoroastrian. Or Hindi.

Maybe Hindi. Yeah, maybe Hindi. I do like that name. They've got some interesting gods as well. I had a look at some stories this week. The only one that caught my eye. I have to say. What? So you shall...

Let me have a look. Are you using this as an attempt to explain Zora Astray? The dog, they have to. I think part of their funeral thing used to be that they made a dog look at the body to kind of like to look after it as it crossed over or whatever. Like, incredible. Like, what a great funeral. Do you know, when my, I had a dog. Also, they regarded otters as water dogs.

And they're highly sacred in that multitudes of individual dogs are considered to be reborn into one single otter. It's the super dog. Wow. They think, and I agree with them, that otters are super dogs. Do you know what they move like, otters? They move like when you get a load of dogs together, and they're all moving as one.

Like a shawl of dogs. I am quite happy to accept this as a new classification. I don't have any problem with this at all. When my cat died, the dog had always known life with the cat. And we buried the cat in the garden. And the vet said, just leave the dog alone with the cat for a bit. Because that will help it understand that the cat's no longer moving. And this isn't a story where

we come back out and the dog has got the cat in its mouth and i thought it was going to be rending it apart wasn't that at all it's much more melancholy and when we came back out into the garden the dog was lying at the graveside just with its hand looking down at the cat and when i got close and i went you're right like that the dog looked up with the saddest eyes i've ever seen and it was just like you know it was just like, you know, it was in mourning. The whole thing was, it was like being on the front of a Victorian biscuit box. Standing there with that sad dog and the dead body of a cat. It was so depressing.

It makes me so sad. I've seen videos where a dog, you know, a lifelong companion of another dog will be just crying, it seems, at the body of this deceased. Dogs are great. And you know what's better than a dog? An otter. A super dog. It's many water dogs. Many water dogs. Yeah. Do you know what? I don't think I've ever touched an otter. I look at those things and I think it's one of those things where when people do bucket lists, you know,

and they're like, swim with dolphins, go and take advantage of, you know, the dead workers at Dubai, that sort of thing. I always look at it and I always think, you know,

mine's so humble. Yeah. I just want to hold hands with it. I want two otters to be holding hands and then you holding your hands. Do you know, I'd like one to go around my neck like a mink stole.

Alive? Yeah. Oh, totally alive. I'd like it around there around my neck like a mink stole alive yeah oh totally alive I'd like it round there nice and dry I think they probably stink of fish and stuff in real life

it's not very nice it's scrabbly claws I'd like it to go round my neck just sit there and just as I turn it purr it go

stuff like that would be great I went to a house to do some I'm working on a TV series at the minute I went to a house where we were doing

some recording and we were doing it quite series at the minute and I went to a house where we were doing some recording and we were doing it quite late at night and there was a bird in the next garden that was going, oh, like that

and it was, everyone was like, Jesus Christ, can we, I don't know how to get rid of it. Typical TV thing where you look around and go, okay,

how can we get rid of this thing that's lived here perfectly unmolested for probably generations. So, they got the householder over and he said, you know, is there anything we can do about this bird? And the guy said, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. He said, it's mine.

It's my bird. Oh, interesting. Anyway, he took me out to the shed and there he had three gauze hawks, which are like these beautiful sort of tiny sort of hunting birds. Yeah. There's a load of books about gauze hawks um which are like these beautiful sort of tiny sort of hunting little hunting birds yeah there's a load of books about gauze hawks which are fascinating because to train a gauze hawk you you have to basically outstair it you have to hold it on your arm and you have to stay awake longer than it does because otherwise it will never ever let its guard down around you right so you put it on your arm and you just keep it there and you have to just outlast it and this can take three days and you just have to basically

be there when it wakes up so when it wakes up it goes i trust you now right because i was asleep and you didn't interfere with me in any way it's essentially that who hurt the goss hawk so people have to do that. So I was talking to him about it, but oh God, he brought it out. And it's just in the middle of this field in Kent, this thing that you weren't expecting, he suddenly brings out this, you know,

just force of nature, this little thing. And it's staring at you in a way that only a wild animal stares. It's just really sort of like, you know, just waiting for you to do something so it can just fuck off, you you know just waiting for you to do something so it can just fuck off you know and it was so exciting it was so exciting and i've realized most of my like bucket list things now are about animals i've touched an elephant i was in i was in london zoo

before they they shipped them out to whipsnade and it was a crappy cold winter's day and it was empty and i went inside the elephant was inside but it got its trunk over so it could touch me on the hands it was the best and I realise now that my bucket list thing is all just like

I want to touch a tiger yeah whereabouts? probably in Paris I want to go on a meal with a tiger like the tiger who came to tea I'm going to take it out

for a wonderful slap up feed then we're going to go back to the hotel and I'm going to have sex with the tiger. Like the tiger who came to tea. I'm going to take it out for a wonderful slap up feed. Then we're going to go back to the hotel and I'm going to have sex with the tiger. But consensual sex. Consensual sex. Mark's going to do some of those things. This is The Look and Beat Shop. We'll be back after a short

advert break. If indeed there's an advert so the last pandemic might not have any around. Have you ever dreamed of shagging a tiger? Come to Mark Haynes' zoo. Because after dark, the mimosas start to flow. Zoo is in speech marks. Oh, it's like a bug in.

This week on Sikhanov One Direction's Liam Payne was in the studio talking to Jack Maid's Happy Hour about life as a global pop star with untold stories about his time on The X Factor life in the world's biggest boy band and going solo this one is not to miss I was part of this massive machine

and I knew my part in the machine very well. So I knew what I was doing every day. But then when that machine falls away and you're in the world and the world's just happening around, like, where do you fit? You can catch the full episode on Spotify. If that doesn't tickle your fancy,

on this week's Football Ramble Presents, Kate and Jim sat down with former Chelsea, Juventus and England striker and football legend Enia Luko to discuss her storied career and her autobiography They Don't Teach This. Whether it's racism, whether it's bullying, whether it's sexism, often

these behaviours are silent. They're not always something that's said. It's a feeling, it's a set of behaviours by a group of people towards you that makes you feel incredibly isolated. You can hear more from Enia Luko with Football Ramble Presents

on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. All that and more at Stakhanov. And we're back with Enia Luko. Oh dear lord, dear lord. It's nice coming on someone else's podcast And we're back with a look at BGR. Oh, dear Lord. Dear Lord.

It's nice coming on someone else's podcast because you don't feel any of the responsibility to make it good or to do anything other than kick it in and leave. Yeah, I find that. I did a podcast where I was guesting on it and it was a film podcast where I was guesting on it and I, it was a film podcast and I was doing it, doing the first bit and I was reviewing a film.

And then you did. The thing is, the conceit is you had to go and watch the film. Absolutely. You watch the film and then you come back and review it. In between those times, it was post-Wrestling Record. In between those times,

the studio just fucking fell to bits. And I was just getting more and more wound up. So I thought, I'm going to calm myself down. I'm going to have a glass of whiskey. The football podcast I do, we're working with Jameson or something. Jameson on something. And they brought this beautiful bottle of whiskey in. And I just had a couple of glasses of that.

And I've not listened back to the second half of that podcast but I was a little loose a little looser when I came back because I was a little bit drunk

the problem you get as you do more and more podcasts is most of your time is spent making them and there is no time to then listen back I have no idea

whether I'm good at podcasting because I'm just on a train that keeps going and I've never stopped. And I can't go back and go, let me review that and see how I can improve. No, I know. Never done it.

Some people, it's really hard to believe, Mark. The joke is that white men have podcasts. That's the funny joke, right? What do you call a room full of men, a podcast? And with the way that I operate and the way that you operate, we started doing podcasts quite early. So therefore,

we are in a situation now where we each do three or four podcasts. Yes. I do like five podcasts a week. Yeah. And you're right. I don't have time. And the only time I hear myself

is when Finn, who works in the Football Ramble, lovingly puts together a little clip from the Football Ramble and puts it on Twitter. And then Liverpool fans start shouting at me for a week. Ramble lovingly puts together a little clip from the football Ramble and puts it on Twitter. Yeah. And then Liverpool fans start shouting at me for a week. Last time I listened to one of our resumes, I can't even remember what the occasion was.

Yeah. I popped it on and I spent the whole time thinking, oh, I should have said that. And then I'd say it 10 seconds later. And I go, oh, well done, mate. On resume, I go, yep. Uh-huh. Don't need to uh-huh don't need to do it don't need to do it do not need to do it i i i'm super aware i was i was listening to another podcast that i do uh for an edit so i was doing the edit of it and i found it very satisfying to take out my channel of all the times i'm going yeah oh no no whoo-ha yeah yeah completely yeah and it's just that all the way through yeah i noticed we don't do that Oh, no. No. Hoo-ha. Yeah, yeah.

Completely. Yeah. And it's just that all the way through. Yeah. I noticed we don't do that with ours. We're just like, ugh, stick it up. I'll just get it out.

I mean, come on. Talking of your Jameson's thing. Sweet. Jameson. Jameson, is it? Yeah, I think so. Has it not got an S on? No, I don't think so.

Jameson's whiskey? Jameson, Jameson. Jameson. Jameson. Yeah, Jameson. Jameson Irish whiskey. Jameson jameson i i picked up a story this week that i um really really uh love it's from this morning it's about the hoo-ha about the uh the ps5 oh right which has been it's a sort of funny thing it's like do you forget every time a new one comes out yeah that scalpers buy them up you can never get them so nobody pre-orders them it's like it seems baffling.

Yeah, and it always happens each time. And there's always the quite outraged newspaper stuff where they're a bit like, this person had an Xbox One and they sold it in the box still, and someone bought it for £900. Oh, money, yeah. And this person, the person who sold it should go to jail. I've always sort of been like,

I don't understand why people get so annoyed about that. No. It's not like people do it with anything else. You buy shares on day one. You sell them on day two. They don't do a daily mirror thing. How dare this man? This arsehole benefited from his shares.

There was a classic one this morning, but all of this is a bit tawdry. James Taylor, who is a cast member on Made of Chelsea. Right. Made of Chelsea? Made of Chelsea. I was thinking too much about how I was going to explain this isn't the singer-songwriter James Taylor

that I forgot the title of the show he was in. He's a cast member on Made in Chelsea, and he put up a thing on his Instagram saying, thanks PlayStation for the PS5. Right, yeah. As you'd expect. Yeah, just influencers get senders in the air. You could tell how little he cared about it

because he said, thanks playing station for the new computer. Did you have a hide nor hair of a PS5? No, that was the one I wanted. I did buy the budget version of the Xbox to give to my friend Al, because he's a bit down and stuff. Well, he's not going to be down now. I hope he does what James Taylor does.

Flip it. He got in real sort of like big news on the mirror because he basically had been given this by PlayStation. And he then put up a little Instagram thing that said, back to the PS4 I go. Didn't like the PS5, so I sold it for a £1,200 profit. Profit as well is a strange one,

because he's obviously sold it for £1,200. Yes. Because he got it free. But sort of going profit. No, it's not profit. Profit is a business decision. Yes, yeah, yeah. You just sold that.

Yeah, somebody sent you it. Yeah, and you flogged it. You know, like a man in a pub who's done a burglary. You know, that's the same thing. Burglar doesn't go good profit on that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, it cost me zero, and I've managed to realise its value. So he got it.

A couple of things come out of me for that, because I'm fascinated with it. I don't know why it's such a big story. And I first read it, and I was like, what a grifter. What a typical little grifter. And then I then i was like actually he's been given something he didn't ask for it no why why they've given it to some bloke from maiden chelsea when these i presume it's because he's probably got a load of instagram followers yeah but and also yeah do you go for your made of chelsea fans guys to for your video game knowledge? I don't know.

I don't think so. And I think, you know, they've sort of given it to him and I'm sort of glad that he's, you know, PlayStation by giving it to him, that he's just gone, I fucking don't want this.

Yeah. I think that's great. You know, maybe they should think about who they give them to. I mean, you know, but then the second bit I like about it is it did actually get them what they wanted,

which is a load of coverage. Yes. So sort of. He's done a better job than all of the boring people who go, can't wait to play this with it unwrapped on their kitchen counter. So he's got a big page in a thing. The thing I love the most is the Mirror quoted someone who'd written about it on obviously some kind of showbiz news site.

And this is, this made me properly on his side so this person wrote this seems especially in poor taste given the current climate where ps5 stock is flying out and where the majority of consumers have not and likely will not be able to get one before christmas well if anything he's he's he's flooded the market with one more playstation he what are you complaining you're saying we're short on stock. He's like, I don't want it, so I'll sell it. And you're like, that is in poor taste. Using the language of like, I don't know, poverty and food poverty.

And sort of going, a terrible waste there. Selling it for money. You know, I mean, money's all very well, but can it buy you a PS5? Yeah, because he just sold one. And someone else said, it's probably allowed, but it's certainly disrespectful. I mean, sure, they gave it to him as part of a marketing stunt, but he should at least learn to appreciate the privilege he has. He does. He did. He went, I don't want it. It's probably best if somebody else does it. I'm going to take the money for it, though.

Given that he's not exactly poor, it just seems altogether childish. I'd get it if, you know, you couldn't afford rent, but Sony sent you a PS5. You've got to do what you've got to do, but this ain't that. You know, would you have to be at a certain level to go, well, someone sent me something,

like a PlayStation 5. I don't want it. It's just going to sit there. I don't want it. I don't want it. But I know people do. And you go, well, hang on. How much money have you got? And you go, I'm doing all right.

And you go, no, you have to keep it. He would only have got more kind of coverage for PlayStation if he'd like poured vinegar into the slots or something. Or been one of those guys who used to do that thing where they'd run a steamroller over the hottest console. In front of the Apple store. People queuing up for the latest phone. I mean, it's all pretty gruesome, that story.

But I'm sort of like, it's amazing when you go, there's a lot of different people involved in this. And I have sympathy with none of them. If I had a PlayStation 5, I've got to admit, I've got an Xbox One. I think an Xbox One is a great, great computer. It does everything I've got to admit I've got an Xbox One I think an Xbox One is a great great computer it does everything I need it to do

it's a great little console I sort of go I'd love to play great games but the reality is I don't have the time anyway if someone gave me a PS5 and they went

it's worth a grand and a half I might go do you know what I don't need it now I don't need it at the moment I'll sell it I'll buy one when they're cheap. And everyone's happy.

I agree. Plus, he's only going to use that money to buy things like Bellinis, you know. And that goes into some independent shop. Yeah. What is everyone crying about? What is a man from Maiden Chelsea going to buy, realistically? It's just going to be that.

And Johnnies. Johnnies. Hello, old chap. I'd like a three-pack of something for the weekend. With a ribbed tip, sir. Oh, lordy.

Is the ribbed tip for my pleasure? No, sir. It's for the ladies. Then I'll simply have plain. I'll iron it out. I'll put it

between two newspapers. I want the woman to enjoy none of this. It's not about her enjoying it. If I'm paying for the Johnnies, then I will get my money's worth. Look, it just seems childish to make £1,500, especially in today's current climate. Buzzwords I love. Today's current

climate. It's a real thing about you're getting a lecture here. Hey, so what? So I burnt some money for fun do it anytime that's how I feel oh lordy I mean in the second half of the podcast we usually do emails we haven't done any but we will do some

on Thursday so don't worry about that if you'd like to get in touch hello at lungpeachyore.com quick update from Mike Gibson Sir Ben Kingsley is very much of Indian descent so that's what we were

talking about last week 30 minutes you stepped in you've cleaned up a really filthy foul show 30 minutes of working out

whether you think famous people are lying about their ethnicity I'm fairly certain I think Tamsin Althwaite has got a touch

of something I can't put my finger on. Right, we'll be back on Thursday. Have a good one. Look after yourselves.

Sorry for ruining the show. You did very well and it was very enjoyable. If you want to check out Mark on Twitter, it is

Mark Haynes. You changed. I went from a nickname to a real name and I see there are many people who are Mark Hayneses with numbers after their names now. Oh, hello. Someone got there first. One of them is actually horrible.

Oh, really? Yeah. There's a person with your nom? Yeah, he seems like misogynistic and racist. Oh, no. And when I checked, it was me. No, it wasn't. It was a horrible bloke.

Might be him. Yeah, and do check out Wrestle Me. We're doing a big celebration of all things wrestling over the Christmas period. We've also got a page in. Get involved, guys. It's like this, but we touch briefly on wrestling. We have content.

Yeah. Some content. I don't want to oversell it by saying there's content. No, exactly. There's a bit. Let's end with what we're looking at. Yeah, let's end with this. We'll be back on Thursday.

Bye. Bye. This was a Stakhanov production and part of the acast creative network