The Luke and Pete Show - Tops off, let's kiss

Episode Date: July 1, 2024

Luke admits he finally gets the whole alcohol-free beer thing, while Pete starts a fight club the moment the partner he has access to goes on a girls trip.Plus, Pete tells his own parable of Abraham carrying him through the waves.Want to get in touch with the show?Email: [e-mail] or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Peter, you spent a lot of time hanging out with Vish. I did, yeah. Do you think you guys will become best friends? I hope one day to get my own weidel and weedle my way into his heart. You want to be short king with Vish? The short kings. I would say there was Ric Flair the sometimes maligned slightly problematic

deservingly maligned deservingly maligned well I mean deservingly maligned but it's the sort of stories that he was eventually

kind of quite rightly put in the dock dock for not you know legally but put in the dock emotionally it's a metaphor

it's a metaphor yeah celebrated like five years ago or maybe three years ago by the WWE. Right. They made cartoons of like, you know, him flashing a,

an air stewardess. Um, is he a hall of famer? Oh, very much so. Yeah. But he would, um,

drink and party throughout the night. Uh, but he'd always be at the gym, uh, like five o'clock in the morning. Yeah. No matter what he did. And,

um, I felt this morning at seven o'clock, I thought I'm going to be a passenger today in my life, in my work. But I was thinking, well, if Vish, who was out later than I was,

is going to be able to, is in the same state that I am, there's going to be two passengers on the Ramble. I don't think we can, we can't carry two passengers. What? Yeah. And then you're on the Ramble. I don't think we can, we can't carry two passengers. Well, yeah, and then you're on the show as well. You're going to call me the taxi. Exactly.

Shove you in the back and fucking take you where you need to go. Yeah, and, but Vish is, was absolutely fine. He was. He is good at it. I've, I've, I've fallen out of fear with the sesh. You were fine as well. This is the Luca Peach Pete show by the way hello

it's Monday the 1st of July today although the running order does say June it's actually the 1st of July July and we started off dry there

a little cold open but we don't want people to be confused about what they're listening to this is the Luke and Pete show we're recording this on the day where we've just

hung out for a kind of social event the night before, which is why Pete's talking about his stuff with Vish. I did actually say to the guys this morning, the producers,

I said, look, there's a chance that some people, I didn't mention any names, some people may not be fit to work. What a worry, what? And the reason that happened,

I had that conversation, is because one of the team, months and months ago now, to be fair, turned up and was simply not fit for work. It wasn't you.

It wasn't me. I would have known that. No, and so, and it perturbed the guys. So I had to give them a little silly. I see. If this happens,

perturbed the guys. Bear in mind, the most recent evidence which I woke up this morning and saw an Instagram story from Vish of you

smashing back shots at the bar which looked like it came at about 2am. I thought I need to prepare the ground here just in case.

Right, okay. It didn't come to pass. You've been absolutely fine. I'm happy to take that on the chin but I think by failing to prepare we may well be preparing

to fail I think you're a silly worry what everything's fine really I do know you though I'll drive I'll drive give me the keys

give me the goddamn keys sorry officer those are definitely his last words give me the keys when I nearly drowned my last words would have been

hey Sarah check out I can do this cool, swim through this big wave. Yeah. Yeah. I've found this new way of swimming. Do you think,

how do you, drowning, actually drowning? I think, like, I think I've invented a new drum beat. Do you, do you,

do you, that famous drowning, non-drowning incident that's what that would be. Yeah. That was a while ago now. How do you look back on that? Have you got a bit of PTSD about it?

I think there's something to be said. And, you know, I will go on Instagram and make like an e-book about it and sort of, you know, charge people, charge people 99p to, you know, gain the knowledge that I have, you know, hard-won knowledge that I've experienced, I would say

just hide it away. Hide those thoughts and those feelings and those kind of like anxieties. Just put them down. Ignore them. That's more Alan Price's advice. What did he say to the psychic, Simon?

And then every two weeks drive to Thetford Forest and scream as loud as you can all Sunday. And after that you'll be fine. Do you look back on that almost drowning in Avony? Do you still think about it? I still think about Abraham

carrying me through the waves. Do you? Yeah. You tell it's a really impactful part of your life because you actually remember the lifeguard's name. Well, it's very biblical, isn't it? It is. It's a very biblical name.

Imagine if he was called Moses. Yeah. And he actually parted the water. Parted the water, yeah. Yeah. But you were frightened, weren't you? he was called Moses. Yeah. And he actually parted the water. Parted the water, yeah. Yeah. But you were frightened, weren't you? I was nearly dead. That is...

You keep saying that, but you don't give any detail. People don't know what you mean. I was nearly drowned. I was out to sea, and I was nearly drowning, and I was finding it very hard to stay above water. And the lifeguard saved me. Yeah. And on a day where,

the night before, I drank too much, I don't need those emotions in my soul. And as you sit here now, would you say you've learned your lesson? No. Because I nearly drank myself, I nearly drowned yesterday.

In baby Guinnesses. In Baileys. I can't believe you told the production staff that I might be too... I didn't say that. You've interpreted it in that way. One of us.

I've said, you know, as a general point for the team, which is my job, by the way, you might have noticed last night I wasn't drinking to excess. Right, okay, fine. Work today. Work today, right. And we'll come onto that in a minute. It's endless, isn't it?

With the Euros, work's endless. We've got a new member of staff. He's only started a couple of weeks ago. today, right. And we'll come on to that in a minute. It's endless, isn't it? With the Euros, work's endless. We've got a new member of staff who's only started a couple of weeks ago. Right, okay. This is the situation it makes us at the start of the day. This is how you should deal with it.

That's what they need. Right, okay. Don't be talking to them like, Daddy, Daddy is going to have a quiet day today. Yeah. Daddy's relaxation. Yeah, Dad.

Like, no sudden moves. If you don't get between Peter and his young, all it's relaxation yeah like no sudden moves if you don't get between Peter and his young all it's kind of like how to deal with a bear I'm a bit confused that you're annoyed

that I'm trying to responsibly run our company that's what I'm confused about no but I don't need I know I can be hung over and still turn in a turgid performance

I know you can still you can be hung over yeah I think pound for pound I am top 30% and still turn into a turgid performance. I know you could still be hungover, yeah. I think pound for pound, I am top 30%. I've just said that you're absolutely fine. There's nothing wrong with it. It's fine. But I was on the, do you know what I've discovered?

What? Alcohol-free beer. Yeah, if you have like about five pints, then you're like, I don't need another one of these. But I do like a fizzy lager, so let's have an alcohol-free lager. There's something that kind of lends, I never really kind of got it these, but I do like a fizzy lager, so let's have an alcohol-free lager. There's something that kind of lends... I've never really kind of got it before, but I do understand...

You have to have the alcohol one first, though, I would say. That's what I do. I don't think you have to, but that's what I do. It doesn't make you a better driver. No, it doesn't. When I'm standing there watching, say,

an England game in the pub, and it's like the summer, and you've got that kind of... There's the heat of the summer, and it's all very nostalgic and reminiscent of like... In a summer dress. Yeah, and I'm wearing, I was actually wearing a pretty nice fit yesterday as well. You are, you're wearing a...

Have you, hang on, have you bought two of the same sort of shackety kind of shirts? No, it's just a different brand. In different... It's different. Oh, right, okay. Yeah, it's different. They're both toweling. Yeah, it's the same material.

I had no idea you were so into toweling this summer. No, I had no idea until about two weeks ago. Right. And I thought, I'm going to give this a go. Terry Towels. Anyway, there's something about, if you stand watching an England game on the big screen and you're surrounded by your pals

or there's a bit of an atmosphere going, the weather's warm, you're in shorts. It's like, that's happened to me every other summer for like my whole life. Right. And if I'm holding a Diet Coke or something, it doesn't hit the same. Even if I don't want a beer

because I'm working the next day, an alcohol-free lager does the trick because I feel like I'm still drinking. Yeah. And I would also say that I think with the Euros though, like we frequently work over the weekends. So where's our... All the day's work, yeah.

There's always work to be done, isn't there? But you're saying that from the point of view of someone who always needs some kind of piss-off outlet, don't you? What, like to watch it out? And you're saying you can't get one because you work on weekends. I can't get, no.

Is this what you say to your... Didn't have one on the weekend? To your partner. Sarah was at the Isle of Wight Festival and... Oh, yeah, you were on solo. I was on solo. Flying solo. Solo doggy duty.

Yeah, it was good. You sent me a video of the two dogs fighting. Yeah, it was good. You sent me a video of these two dogs fighting. Yeah, I was unrelated. You're goading them into it. I'm starting a dog fighting league. We're doing this fighting thing. We're doing a dog. Yeah, I've sold the videos to

an Eastern Europe shadowy businessman. I liked the videos of the dogs fighting. What I didn't like was you in the background in a vest pulling muscle poses. UFC, the Ultimate Dog League. Yeah, UDL. That sounds bad. What's the Defence League?

Yeah, probably. How did you go? That was almost EDL, isn't it? Yeah. Oh, Robinson. You know what? Tommy Robinson, quite short, isn't he? I think I might be a source of a lot of this.

Yeah, could be. When he was getting arrested for having a succulent Chinese meal and getting put in a wagon, he's tiny compared to the blokes who are arresting him. I don't know whether it's just the milk-fed men of north of the border Canada, Calgary or wherever the hell he was. Yeah. They're just big guys.

But he's a little guy, isn't he? He is a little fella. And he can't leave the country now. He never gets... It's their problem. He can't leave Canada? Can't leave Canada. He's had his passport taken off him.

Why didn't someone think of that before? I know. Why can't we exile him somewhere else? Just invite him to a pseudo-intellectual debate in Canada. Done that in about 2002. None of this would have happened. I'm surprised that he's surprised that, I don't know what visa, whatever situation he may or may not

be guilty of in this case, but he was literally chucked out of the US for travelling on a fake passport, no, sorry, someone else's passport effectively. Right. So I imagine he can't have that many complaints when an organisation or a government says, can we have a look at that visa, please?

Yeah. Can we have a look at that passport, please? Surely he's not just going in there as a tourist. He's doing a speaking tour, so probably would need a visa. If you go to the US just for a meeting, you don't need a visa. No, but I think if you're taking money out of the country,

which he's doing by doing a speaking tour yeah I think it's different why is he why are they inviting him there anyway

I don't know she's like a football hooligan they just sort of feel like it's he doesn't ever say anything like it's above him

he doesn't even say anything why do they need him yeah why doesn't he get bored of just getting parled in and out

of police wagons all the time he's just constantly I think we spoke about it before where he was, like, cadging five quid off a random stranger in the street. Yeah. It's for the cause. For the cause.

Yeah. It's going straight up his nose. Fucking hell. Of course it is. Speaking of which... What? I told you this earlier. I didn't say it on the round ball because I didn't think it would be appropriate,

but I'm going to say it on this show. I cycled into the office... Vish was wired today. No, not when he's... Oh, you ain't got the balls to say that when he's here. I would say that, and he would laugh and go, ha ha, yes Pete, my drinking friend. And then we'd embrace and kiss.

Tops off. Tops off. Yeah, great. On the way in this morning, I cycled through Exmouth Market, which for those people who don't know London very well is a it's a market

it's not it's quite a little trendy bit a little trendy bit between Farringdon and Angel really am I thinking of am I thinking of

that place that's I'm thinking of the one that's in Liverpool Street what market's that that's like a little kind of eatery yeah it might be actually Spitalfield

similar vibe though isn't it but Exmouth Market is really small it's just one little side street really there like a little kind of eatery. Yeah, it might be actually Spitalfields. Similar vibe, though, isn't it? But Exford Market's really small. It's just one little side street, really. There's a little kind of pop-up

tent selling food. There's a couple of nice restaurants there. So you've got a quality chop house there and one or two others. Anyway, there's always

a Pret in there. It's always open. It's always empty. And the one right near our office is always really busy. So if I want to get some breakfast on the way in

because I'm at a time to have breakfast on the way into the office, I pause the line back outside, pop in. Are you not worried that you're not going to be able to pick it up again? No, because you just pause it. You don't end it. Oh.

Just do a little pause, mate. Right. It's fine. How long do you get? I think you need up to 15 minutes on the pause. Ooh. Get charged. Right.

Yeah, that's fair. So, yeah. Anyway. So we're recording this the day after an England game, the night before. So we're recording this the day after an England game, the night before. So we're recording this the day after the Slovenia game, to give you a bit of context. And I parked my line bike up.

I was vaguely aware of a couple of guys sat at a table outside, but I didn't really pay much attention to them. This is like probably 8 a.m. Yeah. Go in there, bought a chocolate croissant. Ooh. And a little breakfast bowl a.m. Yeah. Go in there, buy, I bought a chocolate croissant. Ooh. And a little breakfast bowl thing. Bonjour.

Yeah. And as I was walking out, there's a little kind of whores to get out because a couple of people were coming in, so I was almost holding the door. So I looked over at these guys. One of them, there's two of them there. One's got an English shirt on, right? So they've obviously been out on the old Saucinho.

Right. Bit of a gargle on the old Plon Corosa and one of them's just chopping up a line on the coffee the little table outside of prayer at 8 in the morning on a Wednesday morning and it's a hot day as well already warm

and you're going to be hot and you're going to need a poo and it's just there's nothing good about that there's nothing good about that, is there? There's nothing good about any of that. If you could get the consent, I'd film that and I'd play that in schools. That's where you're going to end up. Nothing good about it.

He's like, I need to do this. This is great. As soon as that, you know, starts going up my nose, this is great. This is the best I'm going to feel all day. This is the best I'm going to feel all week this is the best I'm going to feel all week this is the only way I'm going to get through work today

which makes it even worse right but I need to I need to really emphasise the idea that like these guys apart from the act

to all intents and purposes look like perfectly mainstream guys we're not talking about kind of like you know unfortunate drug addicts like hopeless

it was like this night's carried on too long and now you've kind of like, you know, unfortunate drug addicts, like hopeless. It was like, this night's carried on too long. Now you've kind of gone over the threshold, really. And it's Wednesday. That is a shame, isn't it? Yeah. It depressed me a bit. It makes you feel sick. To the pit of your stomach.

Made me feel like I need to get away from here as quickly as possible. I want to eat my chocolate. Jumped on the line bike, cycled in, gave everyone the brief about the Hurricane Donaldson potentially make a landfall. I was on a line bike at that moment in time. You shouldn't have been on one. No, I shouldn't have been on one.

I was like, shall I do Holloway Road or shall I do the Backstreet? Backstreet, please. I don't care if it takes twice as long. I once saw a man underneath a bus on Holloway Road and it did not end well. He died, unfortunately. How did you see that? Why have you told that story now? What did not end well. He died, unfortunately. How did you see that?

Why have you told that story now? What? What do you mean? And he died, unfortunately. What are you doing? What do you mean? You're building up a bit of atmosphere there,

building up a bit of camaraderie. You've killed it now. I'm not. You've done Gary Neville on the overlap. You've killed it dead. Stop calling me Gary Neville. You've really gone off Gary Neville.

I don't know why. I have. It's true. I can't argue with that. I think podcast pundits and TV pundits, there's been a real shift over this year, hasn't there? We've got a lot of pundits who present effectively the news, the sports news, turning into kind of gagsmen.

Did you hear my point about Lineker on the Ramble did you hear that did you agree with that no I agree I think he's he's in danger of

becoming incredibly irrelevant because he just wants to be friends with Alan Shearer do you know what I think might have happened I think he might been told that his BBC contract's not being renewed

oh do you reckon and he's got to be right okay because you're right it's a massive problem that you know you want to be the guy who when people turn their telly on

to watch a big England game, you are the guy. And that's an amazing thing. And he's actually good at that. Authority and kind of proximity to the news story is so important. You remember when Des Liner moved from BBC to ITV?

Yeah. And killed his career. Yeah. Like everybody who moved from BBC to ITV killed their career. And then he went UKIP, didn't he, after that, Des Larnham? He went proper UKIP.

Right, interesting. He did a proper heel turn before it was fashionable to go mad. Right. Kilroy-esque heel turn. Yeah, he'd been Kilroy 20 years ahead of the game. Anyway, carry on. But, like, do you not think that, like,

you lose that authority and you lose that legitimacy and you lose your career? Because you get your big pay, do you? You get your million pound a year and then you've only got two or three more contracts before that's done. When I worked with Mark, I used to work with Mark Chapman a bit, who's brilliant and a really good guy.

And he was saying to me that, you know, the biggest thing you've got to do in this job is you've got to be, we were talking about it, the term that he or I use, one of us use, is you've got to be basically the grout in the tiling yeah don't ever feel like you're the tile you're really important

but you're not noticeable and you can't become the story and how many times in the last few years has Link become the story a lot

yeah but I mean I don't mind his personal life you know doing what he wants to do on Twitter to me it feels like it feels to

let me give you another example do you remember Michelle Rue junior who was having an amazing career on the BBC with MasterChef you know, doing what he wants to do. No, same, but it's got, to me it feels like, it feels to, let me give you another example. Do you remember Michelle Rue, junior, who was having an amazing career on the BBC, the master chef, doing all these cooking programs,

really great on telly, proper charismatic, super successful guy. The BBC killed him dead because he wouldn't give up a 120 year long tradition that he had with his, the Rue family

and Albert Bartlett potatoes. Right. Because they said, you can't do it. It's a conflict of interest. You can't host, like, what's it called?

Marquee BBC programs like MasterChef and have a vested interest in this company that does food. Right. Right? And his point, and he left.

He said, okay, fine. I'll leave them. I can't betray this relationship because it's been going on for so long. I'll do something else. So he left. He made the point

I think it was in his press release or whatever it was Gary Lineker's doing exactly the same thing has been doing it for years and the only reason you've got to get out

is because you're saying it's not food programming but it's exactly the same thing i.e. Walker's crisps and it feels to me with the BBC that if you're a certain level you're massively powerful

that's always been the case I suppose that's why Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross got busted as well I guess what because there was just no check on their power

yeah but I mean they were just they've just been fucking idiots and I've been actually listening to a couple of his little interviews with the Trumps

and stuff fascinating is it fascinating he's not contortions I was about to say I was literally about to say

is it all rhetorical gymnastics that he's doing yeah it's all just to get himself into that place yeah a lot of Jesus stuff do you reckon he believes it or not nah

he doesn't believe it I mean I don't think I think it is I think the Jesus stuff is certainly a cynical right wing

sort of mouthpiece sort of American play isn't it really and he feels like he's been stitched up he feels like he's been stitched up he feels like

he's been stitched up because of the way all this court case stuff yeah but he just feels that's what happens when you

do you know him no you haven't worked with him or anything no I met him once I think okay

but I just get the sense that isn't it interesting that whenever you're caught like a cage animal you just turn into that person you sort of go

right I'm right wing this is the only way I can make money selling vitamin tablets and talking about freedom of the press and this is that particular area of it

like Trump's particularly the projection is unbelievable I mean it's basically straight projection the whole time and it's so easy to see for it's so transparent the brand thing

I did see I definitely did see the scandal that's brand thing I did see I definitely did see the scandal that's come out I did see that coming I don't know him I think I might have been in the same room with him once or twice

just through work and stuff but I I kind of wasn't let me put a fine point in it I wasn't surprised by that stuff no I was surprised

by the proper leaning to the right wing conspiracy stuff because the thing with him is I always thought of him as being super clever and the conspiracy theory types tend to be just enough education to perform

clever enough to convince stupid people but not clever enough that they have to hold themselves up to scrutiny. There's very few really quite intelligent cynical people I would say. There are like you said the people who skirt that kind of intelligent not intelligent kind of thing. Which is why footballers are so prone to it.

Right. A lot of time on their hands, invariably quite a lot of money, have an inflated sense of themselves because they've always been bigged up their whole lives. Mossad. Yeah, exactly.

The Athletic did a really interesting thing about Ricky Lambert and his story and how it points towards where he's gone to, where he's gone to. where he's gone to. And it's to do with stuff like a real mistrust for authority because of the way in his particular career arc as a footballer, he's essentially been treated like a piece of meat

by people in authority. Like, you're out of contract, we don't want you anymore, see you later. You've got an injury, you're not going to make it this club, go. There's no aftercare. Every single person he's looked up to in his really formative influential years

has been like older men fucking mugging him off basically and he's had no leadership or guidance in his life so he's got this grown up with this

inherent mistrust for all these authority figures that's an interesting take I suppose yeah that doesn't make sense anyway

he could just be a moron he could just be he couldn't actually believe it let's have a break because we're way over time, Peter, as usual. Do you know why, though? Because the chat's so white hot. Because the chat's so white hot.

My head's hot. It's a little pitch up. That's no way to start a show, is it? For the second half? You're not starting the show, really. I'm continuing it in many ways. Yeah. What's the big scandal that's going to sink you, mate?

I don't know. I reckon you might accidentally, maybe accidentally know. I think some kind of... I reckon you might accidentally, maybe accidentally on purpose, make some kind of bomb. What? Yeah, inadvertently in my shed, in my apology cabin.

Yeah. And they might find some literature about put two and two together, get five. Yeah. You're going down for life. Yeah, because I wouldn't be able to talk myself out of it, I suppose. No, you'd get tied up in knots.

I had to do this. I was going, I could do loads of things if I put my mind to it, yeah. Just unprompted, you start talking about all the fertilizer you've bought. out of it I suppose you get tied up in knots I had to do this I was going I could do loads of things if I put my mind to it just start unprompted you start talking about all the fertiliser you've bought

I do think like how like what would if I bought I don't know 20 bags of fertiliser from B&Q

does it flash up I think 20 bags would yeah yeah it just seems like a surely there's better ways of making a bomb

and not using fertiliser. Do you know what I mean? Like, what is it in fertiliser? Is it ammonia or something? What's it called? Is it ammonia nitrate or something like that? Right.

It's a particularly kind of I can't remember what the word is now. Pungent. Incendiary ingredient. But you know that in some parts of the United States because of the meth epidemic

I don't know if it's still the case but it was the case there's loads of flashpoints if you buy loads of stuff together in a certain shot

like the pseudoephedrine stuff you have to go to the Trumps for that I don't know

why I don't just divest out of politics and get into that legal like get into opioids or something

oh yeah just start Trump Valium yeah Trump I mean he loves Sudafed doesn't he yeah Trump Sudafed he's got he had Trump University Oh, what? Yeah, just start. Trump Valium. Yeah. Trump F... I mean, he loves Sudafed, doesn't he, basically?

Yeah, Trump Sudafed. He's got... He had Trump University, he had the Stakes, didn't he? Yeah. That's a weird one. You go from university to Stakes. The university,

I think, has now been... It's been essentially proven to be like a fraudulent enterprise entirely anyway. Was it all online? Did they have buildings? I think they might have had buildings. I can't really remember.

But yeah, it is weird. I mean, everything about it is quite weird. The brand would probably be stronger now, to be fair, Trump University. Because people would actively want to sort of, you know, learn how to become president.

What is Trump's stake? What do you mean? Like, it's just a bad stake, isn't it? Yeah. Speaking of the old opioids thing, have you read Patrick Radden Keefe's Empire of Pain? No.

About the Sackler family? Oh, the ones who did... It's all the opioids. What was their big one? Well, they made all their money in OxyContin. OxyContin, yeah. Is it OxyContin or Oxytocin? Oxytocin is the...

Is the chemical, isn't it? And then OxyContin is the product, I think. Oxytocin is the chemical that enables you, isn't it? And then OxyContin is the product, I think. Oxytocin is the chemical that enables you to give birth to children successfully in labour. Right. And what's the other one? OxyContin is the... OxyContin is the...

Anyway, the book itself, my goodness me. Honestly, it's not that far removed from straight, just bare face profiting from addiction and death. Yeah, yeah. And really leveraging the idea that the healthcare system is so fucked that people just, they'll just self- Get pills. Just self-

Self-medicate. Yeah, self-medicate, yeah. Shop around and stuff. I actually, I thought the book was good. I read it. I think I've read all of his. They're all really good. But that one was like particular.

I was thinking to myself, how you got through the legality of this? But just like, like, like just, I mean, just having these kind of reps, just sort of going on every sort of doctor surgery and just spending money,

just getting the doctors on side and stuff. Yeah. And they knew, they knew how addictive it was. Yeah. All of the studies were absolutely nonsense. It's remarkable, really.

He's written some good books. He also wrote Say Nothing, which I told you about, that Northern Ireland families book. Oh, really. He's written some good books. He also wrote Say Nothing, which I told you about, that Northern Ireland families book. Oh, decent. Cool. And he wrote The Snakehead about triads,

triad gangs in New York. Oh. Did you say New York there? Yeah. I thought you just stopped. No, triad gangs in New York, yeah. What do you mean I just stopped? You went,

triad gangs in New York. I don't know why I did that. I like it. You wouldn't find that in any broadcasting textbook. No, you wouldn't. stopped you went try again I don't know why I did that I like it you wouldn't find that in any broadcasting textbook no you wouldn't but you know Gary Lineker that's what we always say Gary Lineker follows me

on Twitter by the way does he now I've got some rogue followers on Twitter that I don't know what I've done to get them to warrant it

paranoid I've got Jake Humphrey as well oh and his lawyer and his legal team do you reckon that's what it is

nah he's just you've clearly mentioned him but he only follows about 500 people as well. Oh, and his lawyer and his legal team. Do you reckon that's what it is? Nah. He's just, you've clearly mentioned him. But he only follows about 500 people. Right. And I don't think Neville follows that many people either.

Right. So how am I in there? I don't want to be there. You said Gary Lineker. Did you mean Gary Neville? I meant Neville, right. I don't want to be in there. Why?

I just don't want to, I don't like... Actually, you've, it was one of like the ramble sort of social media clips you were talking was one of the ramble social media clips you were talking about, one of the Neville's, recently.

And would you have retweeted that? That's the test, isn't it? No, but this came along like... He's been following me for two years. Yeah, I know. But you still wouldn't retweet it. I think the reason... It seems crueler, doesn't it,

when you know there's a chance that someone might find it. I think the reason Humphrey follows me is because I, one of their team sent stack an email, right? Which is basically a piss take. Oh yeah. It's a bit like a free promo. Yeah.

And so I emailed back saying, you're, you've embarrassed yourself. This is shameful. And don't email my junior members of staff asking for this shit again. Blah, blah. And I didn't get a reply to that.

But I did get Jake Humphrey following me on Twitter. So who knows? It could be related to that. Daddy's watching. Maybe Humphrey just doesn't have a team and it's just him doing everything. Does he think of himself as the podcast daddy, do you reckon? Yeah, I think so. Yeah.

But everyone knows actually really that you're the daddy. It's me, yeah. I'm the daddy around here. So did you have, finally before we go, did you have a nice time last night? Just to round it all off. Yeah, it was nice. It was good. Do you get bored of piss-ups at your age now?

I just don't do that many of them anymore, to be honest. I could do that on a Tuesday, to be honest. I could do it on dealing with this on a Wednesday. What, working? Well, working, but also having a hangover. Oh, right, okay. I'm not used to this. And I know I'll have it still tomorrow as well.

Will you get any sympathy when you get home later? No, no. Straight to... The opposite of sympathy, really. Yeah, I didn't do a bin day because I stayed around Al's. That's going to be... Oh, fuck. That's going to cost me.

And I bet you didn't tell Sarah you were staying out, did you? No, I did. I did. I said I was going to get a hotel because I was like... But, like, hotels around here are so expensive. Yeah. But my friend is very... They're hotels.

My friend is very cheap. Yeah. Yeah. Did he charge you or not he didn't know but I did get him some drinks for crying out loud

breakfast didn't know I had a breakfast of four ibuprofen that's too many isn't it I had two fell asleep for half an hour

woke up had another two that's like stomach pumping level isn't it if you're listening to this. That's liver screaming stuff. Don't do this.

Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that. Just because Pete does it doesn't mean you can do it. You can do it, but it'll cost you a few years off your life. Do the opposite to what Pete does. I told you about an uncle of mine I had who did, I think, 18 ibuprofen.

18. And he didn't die. I always think, remember when Gordon Ramsay did Hot Ones? Yeah. The wing thing. And he was just drinking Pepto Bismol like it was a milkshake. And doing big burps. He always think, remember when Gordon Ramsay did Hot Ones, the wing thing, and he was just drinking Pepto Bismol like it was a milkshake and doing big burps.

He'd go, and just drinking those Pepto Bismol. I think, I don't think doing that Hot Ones stuff or doing that kind of food generally is very good for you. No, I think it's awful. I think it was a,

I did one that was one of, I think it was one of Jack's mates was doing something and I did a, it was like a pork pie, kind of hot pork pie challenge. And I was ill, really ill for the next couple of days. Right. Hot food, man. Yeah.

Yeah, I don't think it's, it's not going to be something that's going to do you very well in the future. It's probably, because some of that stuff going to do you very well in the future. It's probably... Because some of that stuff is actually man-made chemicals, right? It's not even... No, yeah, yeah. It's not even naturally occurring shit.

You'd have to go to some to find how hot a lot of that stuff is. Because they crossbreed different types, don't they? Right, to make them hotter. Was it the Swedes? There's a Danes, wasn't there? The Danes stopped selling that hot like you know

five chilli Korean Korean noodle thing have you had that I have had that I mean it's atrocious I mean like no one's enjoying that

it's awful absolutely awful but is the USP of it that it's just really hot yeah when when did you have it then when the packet is

like black rather than red to signify spicy like this is like, this is too hot. Pot Noodle Bombay Bad Boy does that, doesn't it? Pot Noodle Bombay Bad Boy. That's black in there? That is black. Do they still do Bombay Bad Boys? Is that the one that you decorated your foot with?

No, I think that was a commoner garden chow mein or something. Ugh, horrible. Anyway. Anyway, let's get out of here. Worse than doing cocaine on a table at 8 o'clock in the morning. That's roughly equal, I would say. Little packets. Little packets of powder.

If I had seen someone else walking into that prayer, I would have been a bad boy. Call the police. Going back to Glastonbury again, talking about Glastonbury stories. I can remember waking up in Glastonbury in a tent once to a load of really fucking loud crunching. And I was like, what the fuck is that?

You know, once you're awake in a tent, you're awake. I got up out of the tent, looked around. It was my mate's brother, older brother, who, like, couldn't be arsed to walk down to the thing and fill up the kettle and boil the kettle. So he just, like, poured some water out of a water bottle into a pot noodle, cold. He was just crunching through a cold pot.

I was like, like mate what the fuck are you doing savages we turn into savages it's very difficult to have any more disdain for him than I had at that point

and that was just horrendous so if I'd seen someone doing that outside the prep this morning that would have been as bad I think

but crucially it would have been legal exactly well we'll be back on Thursday for more of this the Luke and Pete show

if you fancy it we've been Pete and Luke and it's hello at lukeandpete.com if you would like to say hello via the emails we'll see you soon

see you later bye the luke and pete show is a stack production and part of the acast creator network