The Luke and Pete Show - Turned water into White Claw

Episode Date: September 7, 2023

What would Jesus be like at a party? That’s the debate that Luke and Pete start today’s show with.Elsewhere, Luke has been reading about what it’s like to live and work in Death Valley. He tells Pete all about that and the lads also discuss what are the perfect clothes for sleeping in.Want to get in touch with the show? Email: [e-mail] or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.We're also now on Tiktok! Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow. Subscribe to our YouTube HERE. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Good morning all, good afternoon all and good evening to some of you. This is the Luke and Pete Shaw. I am Peter Donaldson. I am from the Luke and Pete Shaw Industries CEO, kind of board member assembly. Luke Moore is very much the CEO of the company and he has access to the executive lift, the executive toilets, and he also is

terrible to his assistants. And listeners. I don't think we necessarily should have to say hello to everyone no no i because there might be some people listening who um listen for like like a hate listen you know what i mean yeah like i occasionally uh enjoy media that i don't um enjoy you know what i mean like i like watching stuff um there's a there's a south i'm on that only the ones i'm on uh there's a South African man on Instagram who is,

he's like, he can't be older than like 21, but he's kind of like this bro, gym bro, hench as fuck, big old, you know, big old muscles. And he's very earnest. He's a big religious guy, loves his Jesus. But he basically just addresses the camera, saying how little he cares for going to parties he's like how did you discover him then out of interest i don't know

i just sort of pops i think sometimes the algorithm thinks i'm really into henched south african men who um aren't into parties they're like uh he's like the only party i want to go to is the one held in jesus house and he goes um if you come to me, you say, bro, do you want to come to a party? A party? I don't know if South Africa's a party. Do you want to go to a party, have some fun, get off some chicks? I say, no. My only chick I want to get off with is God and stuff like that.

I want to check back in is God and stuff like that. And he's really earnest. I want to check back in with him when he's 40. And just the amount of regrets he's going to have. The, yeah, either regrets or, I remember like growing up in, growing up, going to university in Leicester and like in the punk rock scene. Like every third person's fucking. Shut the fuck up. Shut up.

Shut up. Shut up. Just shut up. What he means by that is he lived in Leicester. Went to some pubs. I used to put a record on occasionally and go to the pub. Went to a pub called the Spread Eagle. The punk rock scene of Leicester.

Famous it is. I used to hang out in the... It is quite famous, actually. Carry on. Thank you very much. And, I mean, I say the scene. I was around people who were into it, but I wasn't part of it. But you were in One Eye Willie.

I was in One Eye Willie, exactly. We could have been huge, relatively. There used to be guys who were straight edge, and that was the first thing they would talk about, is how straight edge they were. And then, you know, once they hit about 23, they'd start drinking. And then they'd be in Leicester for the rest of their lives trying to get off with underage girls.

So that's very much the punk rock scene in Leicester and what that looked like. So the South African guy says the only party he wants to go to is a party at Jesus' house. It's pretty much like that, yeah. Yeah, pretty much. What would that be like though? Cause I mean,

I think Jesus is probably an all right dude, bit of a bore after a while, probably an all right guy, quite chill. Yeah. I reckon he would refuse to do the water into wine trick at a party. Cause that's all people would ask for. Right.

Well, you reckon that he wouldn't, he wouldn't get involved with party tricks. Yeah. I reckon that would be the first thing that you ask, especially if you were at a party. You wouldn't need to go out for wine. Mind you, what if you didn't want wine?

But the thing is, if... Maybe nowadays he'd make white clark or something. Maybe he would. But you think of, you know, say like a... If you think of Jesus' miracles as like a band with a certain amount of hits. Right, yeah. And you go to a live show.

I'll tell you, I don't know how many Miracles he did. I'm not up on it. But say he did five Miracles. Three. Five? I think he did more than five,

didn't he? I'm probably doing him a disservice there. Blind man to see. Something about a leper. Lazarus back from the dead. Yeah. Did he do something

on walked on water? Yeah. Bread and fishes. Bread and fishes. Water into wine. That's kind of the same thing though, isn't it? No, it and fishes, water into wine. That's kind of the same thing though, isn't it? No, it's a separate incident. No, but it's kind of the same thing though, isn't it? Water into wine,

drink of my blood, all that business. Do you reckon we'll get a load of more American listeners by doing this? Caesarea Philippi, the Trans-Asian Association, what's the one where his clothes became very white? I don't know that one. That sounds like a deep cut. That was a deep Catholic cut, I think. Was that on the master plan?

Anyway, what I was going to say was, just for the sake of conversation, say he did five miracles. I'm talking here to a man who didn't even remember how he died once. It's confusing. I remember Caesarea Philippi, and I always name check that.

That's a Catholic thing, isn't it? So five miracles, it's like having five hits like yeah if you go and watch him live if you're one of those people in the front row just shouting out play this and play that he's gonna he's an artist at the end of the day he's naturally gonna get pissed off and he's only gonna ever want to play his new stuff and his new stuff might not be as good. So what was like his Pablo Honey Radiohead Creep song? Like, that's the question, isn't it? The first one, I guess.

The first big one where everyone went, this guy could be a contender. You know? And the crucifix thing was probably, because he came back from the dead, obviously.

And that was like, that was maybe his be here now. That's a big, that's a big lie. Yeah, that's what we do. Went on for too long. Yeah.

Cooking, cooking, created with cooking. Now you're getting offensive, actually, and that's unacceptable. Why? He made it, didn't he? God made everything. So God made that sweet leaf.

That's a good point. Chop it up, get it up your nose. Dude, how can it be illegal when it grows in the ground, yeah? Exactly, yeah. How can it be illegal when I secreted it up my bum in a condom to get through customs? How can it be illegal when it grows in the ground yeah exactly yeah how can it be illegal when i when i secreted it up my bum in a condom to get through customs how can it be illegal you'd be more of a

little film case wouldn't you uh is that how they get it in film case i guess that is kind of what that probably would be waterproof good plan good plan everyone apparently um apparently um when they used to go like the 70s the golden age of rock and roll, where people used to travel around and stuff, and they wanted to keep drugs on them and travel around with them, a lot of the time it would be a film case. Right, and that would go up the bot bot. Yeah.

How do you get something... I've never... It will surprise you. I've not really spent that much time sort of digging about in there, but how do you... That does surprise me. A great deal.

It should surprise you. How do you kind of like, because to get, purchase something in there, you've got to get like a, sort of pinching, sort of pincering motion inside. So you've got to get all,

you've got to get three digits in there before you're grabbing that out, surely, aren't you? Are you going to need Vaseline, right? Literally. You what? You're going to need some Vaseline. You're going to need some Vaseline.

Yeah, you're going to need something to sort of get in there. So, yeah, it just seems like a lot of faff. Just put it under your tongue or something. What, a film case? Well, not a film case. How much drugs do you need, really? Good God.

Well, I'm not answering that. Anyway, that's the intro over with. That's the intro over with. I think we've probably flushed out all the people who are easily offended so now we can get on to the real stuff yeah

we're basically it's a little bit like I was talking about this yesterday with Banyabat who edits the rest of my YouTube I hope I'm not doxing him

by revealing this information but we were talking about the band The Rumble Strips a band I can't really remember what they actually put out do you remember The Rumble Strips my alarm clock he I can't really remember what they actually put out. Do you remember The Rumble Strips, Luke? My alarm clock, he ain't working, and I don't really mind.

That's them. Yeah, the voice you chose there to sing in. That's how he sings. Makes me think I wouldn't like it. Yeah, I've met them once on a boat, but that's a different story. You carry on. Oh, good. But he was saying that Banya banya's first uh gig was

the rumble strips yeah um and he said he went uh and he was very worried because he was underage at an over 18s gig and he had a um his first sort of lucky condom in his wallet that remained unused and i was like i wonder what percentage is it well that's right i wonder what percentage of uh a gentleman's uh or a person's uh condom i wonder what percentage of a gentleman's or a person's condom, I wonder what percentage of those condoms actually get used, their first condom. I bet it's like really low. Surely it gets used at some point.

That's the point of it. Yeah, but I reckon it just sort of gets, you know, the condom wrapper gets too tarnished. Certainly in my experience, it gets too tarnished. What you should to kind of like for good juju, good karma, random rapper gets too tarnished. Certainly in my experience, it gets too tarnished. Nobody uses it. You should, what you should to kind of like for good juju, good karma, you should throw the first one away like a pancake,

you know, and just sort of go, that's out the way now. Let's get, let's get down to business. Who are you talking to here? Uh, teens. When you're saying this to yourself.

Again. When you're saying this to yourself. I'm talking to teens again, Lou. When you're saying to yourself, let's get that one out the way. Now let's get down to business. Who else is in the room?

Just you, isn't it? It's me. Popping it on and going to town. But yeah, how did we get there? I can't remember. I don't know how we get anywhere. But I do remember as a teen, like popping the old Johnny in the wallet. I don't think it ever got used.

like popping the old Johnny in the wallet. I don't think it ever got used. No, I think I was too concerned about the fit of my clothes to have anything more in my wallet than I needed to. Oh, because your trousers were so tight. Trousers were so tight. That's a problem that remains to this day, presumably. Yeah. I sometimes wake up with really painful testicles

because I've got that edge where they just do what they want to do. And I kind of want to sleep on them. Sometimes I'll wake up and it's burning. I don't think it's anything nefarious, because I've had a good old feel around down there, but sometimes I'll just sit in a weird way and it's like, my balls. Right, and what is it, a burning sensation?

I've just crushed them in the night and I've not noticed. Crushed them? I think I've just crushed them with my mighty thighs and it's just painful. What kind of position are you sleeping in? Well, I don't know. I'm just doing scissoring motions. And what do you wear to bed?

Just pants. Just a pair of pants that you've worn that day? Yeah, is that an issue? People have weird issues about... It's certainly not my issue. I think a lot of... I'm always surprised... I don't know whether he still does it,

but Mark Haynes and the rest of me, and I am going to dox him, used to sleep naked. And we were disgusted by that fact because Mark's a real man. Yeah, I wouldn't sleep naked. And there's people out there who you think are particularly normal.

And then you find out that they sleep naked and you're like, what's that about? Well, I always feel that about you. I always think that someone says to me, I'll pee, you know, he's a bit crazy and stuff.

And he's personality type and all the rest of it. And I say, it's great because everything's out there. Like there's nothing to worry about. It's all out there. I know what I'm dealing with. There's no secrets. Yeah. There'll never be any surprises like i mean i can see and envision yeah exactly um whereas it's the quiet nice people that you want to kind of worry about and it's the ones

with kinks in it there's a couple of mates who i know have got like some pretty interesting kinks um but they would hate for you to know it I don't think sleeping naked is a kink. I'm not saying that's a kink. I'm just saying, like, you know, dressing up in that. What's wrong with that? That's all right, isn't it? It is all right.

I'm not kink shaming. But the way they talk about sexuality, it makes me giggle. Well, they're always the ones, aren't they? They're always the ones. Yeah. I just want to surprise anyone to know that I

sleep in a lovely pair of quite expensive pyjama shorts from the White Company. Lovely stuff. Good to know. I just don't think you can compromise on that kind of stuff. It's a very good point. There's nothing better than... If I was a billionaire, I would go to sleep on fresh sheets

every night. There's nothing better. I say that to the wife I have go to sleep on fresh sheets every night there's nothing better I say that to my wife I say that to the wife I have access to I say this right this is the thing I say one of the luxuries I'd afford myself

if I was a multi-millionaire is I would have someone to change the sheets every night beautiful fresh cotton sheets every night and so the feeling

of sleeping in a brand new clean bed every night would be like an amazing thing and she made me some kind of deviant. Like, actually, three or four nights in is when the sheets start to feel nice. No, no. The first night is the best. And

a bit of loveliness. As Ross Doolittle sang. Do you want to live with me, Luke? That's one reason I quite like to. And I think some of our listeners think of us as like Bert and Ernie. The only time we've ever slept in the same bed is in South Africa. For a week.

There we go, back to South Africa again. Yeah, back to South Africa with the big boy. Yeah, and that was good for me because you're small, so I got a lot of room. That's a good point, actually. I was fine with that. I didn't particularly like some of your behavior, but at night I don't have any memory of you being particularly problematic.

So that was fine. Peter, one thing I wanted to bring to the table today is that I read a really interesting article on The Independent from a guy called Patrick Donnelly, who lives and works in Death Valley. Oh, that's hot, isn't it? Yeah, so he's a, I think he's like a scientist. He's a lizard.

He's not a lizard, no. He's a big lizard. He's like a scientist of some description where he has to go out and do bits and pieces. Maybe some kind of curator for the visitor center or something there. Okay, yeah. But the article talks about um you know

a week of it in his life in the summer and how like amazing it is and there's a couple of things that really um piqued my interest one is that um he said like you've got to get into adjustment you've got an adjustment to get into a mind frame where it's like it's not like a bad day or a low-level bad decision to go out during the day in the summer in Death Valley. It's basically death. Right, yeah. You have to adjust your expectations. Oh, I might get a bit hot.

Right, that's not for me. Yeah. Does it get very cold at night, like ridiculously cold? I think it does. Does it get very cold at night? Like ridiculously cold? I think it does in... So in the winter overnight, I think it goes below freezing.

Yeah. But during the day, so for example, the day he's written this article, it's 26 degrees at sunrise. So that's for American listeners, that's what, like 80. And then the lowest temperature it will get in the height of the day

is 46 degrees Celsius, which is basically, I think that must be, I mean, right up there. Let me just check what that is in Fahrenheit, 115 Fahrenheit. But do you not think that's really weird that our body temperatures what's that 38? Our body temperatures are around 38 yeah. So I mean that's only 6 degrees.

It's only 6 degrees. So like why does your body have so much because I guess. You're about to say people don't need water again. We've got a shower that you've got to turn down the um you've got to turn down the heat uh because of a misfiring um uh temperature monitor i think the showers upstairs not my doing um i i i can't i can't be handling plumbing plumbing is just hard you need to have all the tools and i don't have all the tools yeah but um but upstairs

there's a shower where, because there's an issue with the cold and the hot water, we can only have hot water coming through. So you've got to go in the boiler, turn it down to whatever degrees that you want that you shower at in one of the bathrooms. But, like, so I can have it about cracking on for 50. Sarah wants it about 41, 40.

And I'm like, that's only two degrees over your body's ambient temperature deep inside. So like, what are you getting out of that? I just would feel unclean having a shower. I prefer a cooler shower. Yeah, okay. I think it's because I've got quite sensitive skin and my skin burns

really easily in the sun and stuff. I'm boiling myself every, like a big frog. A big frog in a French restaurant. I'm'm boiling myself every, like a big frog. A big frog in a French restaurant. I'm just boiling myself. If every day you turn the temperature of your shower up by 0.1 of a degree, by the time you got to your age now, you might be like superhuman.

What do you mean? Like I could withstand like boiling water? Yeah, you could like jump into volcanoes and fix it. Why don't they just pour cement in them? Yeah, that's a good idea um anyway this guy was saying that like his work requires him to be outdoors in the middle of the day which basically no one does apparently a lot of people there generally wake up at like 3 a.m do their thing between like 4 a.m and 8 a.m right then the rest of the time they're indoors but he basically goes out in the middle of the day

because he has to do for work and he says the non-negotiable part of it is that you have to have zero skin exposed to the sun so you have to wear long trousers long sleeve hooded shirt, a big hat and you basically have to take he says you have to take on board 3 gallons of water a day

which is crazy that's like 12 litres or something a day. It doesn't seem comfortable. What business does he have out there? Is he studying lizards? What's he doing out there? I can't quite remember what his job is either. I think it's some kind of science-based job.

Oh, here you go. He works for the Centre for Biological Diversity. Right, okay. It's in the National Park part of Death Valley, which is between California and Nevada. There's about 250 people there, and it's in the national park part of um their valley which is between california and nevada there's about 250 people there and it's in the northern mojave desert but he also said one of the things i didn't really consider is there's two points i really want to make one of which i found really interesting and one i think you'll find interesting is he said that

like the one thing people really underestimate is the amount of preparation it takes every day to just do stuff die yeah to not die basically yeah he says for example he has to check his car every day yeah because if he drives out in the middle of nowhere because if you get lost if you get caught out and your car dies i mean jesus he said he says in most places if your calling system breaks down you will have an uncomfortable couple of days driving to work if my calling system breaks down, you will have an uncomfortable couple of days driving to work. If my cooling system breaks down, I will die. He must have like a generator in the back for a big fan or something. Well, this is the thing.

This is what I was going to get onto. So you might be interested in this because I had never heard of this before, right? He said most people there use something called an evaporative cooler, which is also known as a swamp cooler. Right. Which only really works in a desert. He said if you just used a standard communal garden air con system, it would use so much energy,

it would cost you $700 a month just for a unit. Right, okay. And these swamp coolers save 90% on energy bills. Is that like, you seem on the continent sometimes you have like um like a refrigerating unit in front of a fan yeah so he's basically said the way he describes it is you pump wet air through the house at high velocity right and that wet air meets the dry air from outside and there's an evaporative cooling effect it's basically just a scientific way of doing it i guess like what kind of normal air cons will just take hot air out of the room

and convert it into colder and pump it back in, and there's an outlet, right? I think they pull air out and then divert some of the air across a refrigeration unit, I think, maybe. Probably not true, but remember when I turned on the air con in the studio and I didn't realise that, because I'd piped it all in, I didn't realise that the studio was completely airtight and the wall started bulging. So, yeah, sucking it all in.

The studio ended up being the size of a sugar cube. Yeah. Is it Violet Beauregard who went big? I can't remember. Augustus Glute. Oh, no, Violet Beauregard who went big? I can't remember. Augustus Glute. Oh, no, Violet Beauregard. Yeah, it was. Have you seen the...

Have you seen there's a new kind of pre... pre-pre... prequel of Willy Wonka with that little boy. I can't remember his name now. He was in June. That little boy. Oh, Timothy Chalamet.

Yes, Timothy Chalamet is Willy Wonka. Yeah, it's just called Wonka, isn't it? It's called Wonka, right. And it's just his kind of chocolate-based journey. I just don't think the man has enough menace. You know what I mean? There's not enough, like... Yeah.

He's probably killed a few people. It's quite an odd-looking chap, though, so you might better pull it off. Hugh Grant's in it as well. Hugh Grant's playing the old Oompa Loompas. He's enjoying a very nice Indian summer to his career, Hugo. He really is. He's absolutely brilliant in the Dungeons and Dragons movie. Have you seen that?

I've not, no. So good. It's really good. But listen, a little bit of trivia. A little bit of trivia for you. You know my friend Blair? Have you met him before? Sing a song about him. Yeah. He got plucked out of his school as a kid in Derbyshire to play the young Johnny Depp in the Wonka movie.

Nice, okay, fair dues. He was on it for a couple of weeks. Mark Haines from WrestleMania, again, he was the nudist. He was an extra who had a speaking part in Johnny Depp's Willy Wonka film, and he was kind of playing like a Bavarian villager who says, get your another chocolate. That's perfect for him. And according to...

A Bavarian villager. That's a great description of Mark. He was over a chocolate river with Johnny Depp. And it was only him and Johnny Depp on this little sort of section of the set. And out of awkwardness, Mark started talking to Johnny Depp. You know, how are you doing?

How long are you in London for and Johnny Depp just sort of looked at him and then just shouted Tim! Tim! There's also a great, and I don't know why we haven't mentioned it on WrestleMania, we probably have, but

Mark is an extra in, he's not an extra he's pretty front and centre in the film Vera Drake about the abortionist. And in the final scene when Vera Drake, I think, is getting sent down for providing healthcare illegally at that time in the world, in the UK, Mark looks down the camera lens.

The one thing you shouldn't do... What, in the UK. Mark looks down the camera lens. The one thing you shouldn't do. What, in the movie? In the movie. And it's really funny. And that actually made the edit. Mark Hines looking dead set down the camera lens. How did that make the cut?

That's crazy. I don't know. But it's really funny. It's on YouTube, I'll show you. That's brilliant. Pete, let's have a break. When we come back, we'll do the batteries. All right, then.

Lovely old job. It's the Luke and Pete show. It's a Thursday, so we are talking all things batteries. Lukey Moore, what batteries has people sent in on that? Am I doing them? Are you normally doing them, mate? Do I? Oh, yes, I do. We're on episode 2,300, so it's fair enough.

I get confused sometimes because the laps running order isn't called the Luke and Pete show running order. It's called the laps. Sometimes I lose where I'm supposed to be going. Anyway, we got one from Teddy. Hello, Teddy. Long time listener.

First time email. A few weeks ago, I was visiting my family in the Malaysian state of Sarawak on the island of Borneo. I've been there. It, Teddy. Long time listener. First time email. A few weeks ago, I was visiting my family in the Malaysian state of Sarawak on the island of Borneo. I've been there. It's nice. We went for a jungle hike and I... Not much else to do. But I couldn't believe my eyes when I came across a rogue battery beside a waterfall. Wow.

Obviously, I took it with me to remove the litter, but have we got a new player? The battery is a very mash-up version of a 555 high-power battery. I'm liking this, Teddy. It shows social responsibility, it shows good manners, and it shows a real need to entertain the Luke and Pete show listeners. Yeah, and unquestionably the best background to a battery photo we've ever seen. Definitely. Incredible find.

Nice thumb and finger positioning. The thumb could be a little bit cleaner, but I suppose you're in the Malaysian jungle. He's in the jungle. That's fair enough. It is a brand new player as well. Congratulations to you. Round of applause. Sean is coming in with jungle. It is a brand new player as well. Congratulations to you. Round of applause.

Round of applause. Sean is coming in with one. Hello from White Rock, BC. What state is that? British Columbia. British Columbia, of course it is. I would like to submit a battery that I found in a heavily discounted novelty mini television

that only plays Star Trek clips. When you talk about e-waste, it's shit like that, isn't it like it's not your fucking tablets that last a couple of years it's that um they came uh dead on arrival but have been replaced and now my useless little gadget works fine i submit new leader extra heavy duty which sounds like some kind of pr document from a north k. Is Sean taking the piss here? What do you mean? I mean, new leader.

Right. New leader. We've had over 50 of them. Have we? Yeah. I don't remember that at all. 50 new leaders. Yeah.

Oh, I'm very sorry, Sean. Absolutely preposterous email from start to finish that. I mean, it's really difficult to understand just how disastrous that's been. Yeah, but I mean, do show us what the mini television... I'd love to see that telly. I want to see that little mini television. You sort of got... I remember there was one that had, like,

sort of a reel-to-reel kind of video, kind of not really projected. You would look through a little hole, and it'd have a little bit of film, and you'd look through the hole, and it was battery-powered, and it would play you Scalacci's goals from Italian 19. Yeah, I've...

Stuff like that. So my friend, when I was a kid, my friend used to have... It was almost like it's a battery-powered thing that cycles through maybe 100 frames of a 35mm film. Right, yeah, yeah, okay. And you can replace them for different things, and we didn't have the Scalacci goals.

I think that one was a World Cup 90 kind of piece of merch. Yeah. Right, so this one we had, it showed... It was like horse racing. For some reason,

it was like a horse race or something. Horse racing? Yeah, weird. That could be my mind playing tricks on me, though, but that's what I remember. Yeah, good stuff.

Do you remember, Pete, those almost like a very primitive video games console that you'd put over your face like a pair of binoculars? Yeah, they were Tommy ones. And they'd be like space invaders. You'd have buttons on the top, and it was like a race when you'd go back and forth between the cars.

It was like a precursor to the... It was a normal kind of LCD game, but it was sort of... Maybe LEDs rather than LCDs, was a normal kind of lcd game but it was sort of maybe leds rather than lcds but um it would kind of glow it was like a precursor to the nintendo um virtual boy a little bit but yeah there's nowhere near as complicated as that though no no no no and and it would it would it'd be backlit from the ceiling it would it like there'd be like a kind of um a slightly translucent um window at the top of it to let the light through so you could actually see the LED's light.

Exactly, if you put your hand over the top, it wouldn't work. Yeah, because I have seen a couple on Facebook and they are going for like 90 fucking quid. Oh, really? Because I had about three of them. You couldn't give them away back in the day. Exactly, you couldn't give them away back in the day. Game & Watch is quite a big deal nowadays still. I had a couple of those.

Didn't Nintendo do a watch? Well, yeah, Nintendo sort of started off doing that kind of care. But yeah, they had Donkey Kong. I think there might have been a Zelda one, but there was definitely a Mario one anyway. I'm pretty sure I remember the Zelda one. Is it fair to say, before we get on to our third and final battery, is it fair to say that in terms of cultural impact,

Zelda is massively underrated? Yeah. I mean, I guess for games that are quite sprawling and quite involving, I just think you know what you're getting with Mario or Donkey Kong. Everyone knows who Mario is. Everyone knows who Donkey is. I don't know if everyone knows who Link is, or Donkey Kong, or... Everyone knows who Mario is. Everyone knows who Donkey is. I don't know if everyone knows who Link is, though. No, no, true.

And they probably think the main character's called Zelda. I certainly did for a long time. Well, that's poor effort by you. I know, his poor effort. And also, hugely disrespectful to an illustrious, absolute monarch and princess, Zelda. A bit of respect for that lineage, if you don't mind.

Robbie Williams' daughter. Oh, was it? Well, called Zelda Williams. Oh, okay, right. Simon says, G'day, boys. Expat living down under in beautiful northeast Victoria,

the birthplace of Nick Cave and the burial place of Ned Kelly. What an intro. What pedigree. What was Ned Kelly? Was he like a cowboy or something? He's a criminal, wasn't he? Did he get shipped off? Ned Kelly was an Australian

outlaw. Did he have an interesting hat? He used to wear metal on his head or something. I'm not sure, but he's like, if you look at a picture of him, I'll drop you a link on WhatsApp now, he's like the original East London trendy man.

The East London trendy man? If you look at a picture of Ned Kelly, he looks exactly like every single hipster in Hackney. Honestly, it's where the lineage starts. I'm going to send you a picture right now. I'm just loading up my WhatsApp. You can see. He died very young, was like an Australian

outlaw. I guess like an Australian Robin Hood type character. It depends on, you depends on pick your poison was he an outlaw or was he like a murderer basically right okay but check out

check out this picture of him on his Wikipedia page mate click on that link I'm waiting for it to come through there we go

Ned Kelly right he's like oh yeah beautiful hair yeah such thick hair amazing beard

yeah but there's a there's a great and that's a 25 that's a 25 year old Beautiful hair. Yeah. Such thick hair. Amazing beard. Yeah. But there's a great... And that's a 25. That's a 25-year-old beard. Amazing. I know, exactly. And there's a brilliant book, and it's so brilliant, I'm just desperately trying to remember the name of it.

That's it. It's called The True History of the Kelly Gang by Peter Carey. It's a brilliant, brilliant novel, which is kind of loosely based on Ned Kelly and his gang. But it's a fictional account, basically. It's brilliant. It's well worth a read. I've got it here.

My friend got it to me as a present. I absolutely loved it. I'm not a massive novel reader overall, but I enjoyed it. So well worth a read. Carry on, Peter. Right. I mean, wow. overall but i enjoyed it so well worth a read carry on peter right um i mean wow um uh gold an indecent note um right uh sorry just got distracted by ned kelly's uh wikipedia which i'm sure we can get into another time when recently uh replacing this assignment by the

way an unusual looking battery that operates an auto hand wash sink in one of the commercial kitchens I look after. I came across this beauty. I present a Lyson CRP2 lithium made in downtown Wuhan City. Fingers crossed I've unearthed a new player. Love the show. Can you remember what our policy was on non-AA? It's your policy. So I don't know whether you'd accept a CRP2. It's a very odd looking battery.

6 volts, lithium. Never seen it before. Yeah, and I almost think this is allowed because it looks like it's a one-shot thing. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like rechargeable lithium-ion batteries I don't think should be allowed in. But, but, but, but, I think this lithium battery that only lasts for a little

while should be allowed in. What was our policy on lithium clock batteries and watch batteries? I can't remember. Did we ever bring up on it about the old, the little watch ones, the kind of flat ones? Yeah, because there's no design to them on the actual battery. So I think, I think we're allowing this because it's not rechargeable. It's a one-shot thing and it's got the design um you know on the actual battery itself so we're allowing it if it's a real player you mean yeah it is a real player yeah good stuff

congratulations to you simon yeah well done mate that's absolutely cracking stuff and you deserve all of the good things it's not just because you make up the holy trinity of nick cave ned kelly and uh simon buckley um so yeah there you Well done to you. Cracking. All right then. That's it, Peter. Maybe we'll get stuck into Ned Kelly next time. He sounds like an interesting chap. He does sound like an interesting chap.

It's one of those kind of romantic stories that I imagine if you dig below the comic book depiction of him, he was probably a real C word. So we'll be back on Monday. Have a lovely weekend look after yourselves Lukey Moore you alright? murder

assault theft armed robbery it's a romantic story that's alright it's fine everyone was up to that I kind of cared about that

see you later bye bye the luke and pete show is a stack production and part of the acast creator network