The Luke and Pete Show - Velvety soft

Episode Date: August 30, 2021

Welcome to another week in paradise! Your hosts, as ever, are Luke and Pete. Your subjects this time around are, in no particular order, animals that have lived the longest, trees with coins bashed into them, deer velvet, ice skating, car parking and Pete's historic constipation.We also take the time to recount a story courtesy of one of our listeners about a European cycle trip gone awry, and it's a belter. Have a great week!To tell us a story of your own, it's [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's time for the Luke and Pete show I just shouted a really naughty word at producer Finn Luke is with me it's a Monday hope you're feeling good everyone I'm the eponymous Luke in the Luke and Pete show

yes yes please I'm feeling alright you feeling okay? I mean I'm looking eponymous Luke in the Luke and Pete show. Yes, yes please. I'm feeling alright. You feeling okay? I mean, I'm looking alright. Another week in... I disagree with that. Another week in paradise, Pete. Another week in paradise, baby!

Baby, baby! We're going to go on and talk about some of the subjects for the Luke and Pete show. Some of the subjects? Some of the subjects. And Luke said, I'm probably going to need some more stuff to front load the start of the show and i re-acquainted myself with deer shedding velvet um we're going straight with that i'm going straight with that i re-acquainted myself with it because and it's disgusted me even more than when i first looked at it and your threshold for disgust is really high these days.

Oh, mate. Like, I am horrible. Almost as high. Your threshold for disgust is almost as high as my wife's. Mine's like kind of... Living with me. Mine's kind of like... I'm at fracking levels of disgust now. I've got no disgust left in me.

You're just trying to find... Just do little mini explosions and try and draw it out of me. Your level of disgust is now so high, try and draw it out for me. Your level of disgust is now so high, it's a bit like continental drift. Like we know it's,

all of us know it's happening, we can't really observe it. It's like evolution. I used to be a whole man, like Pangea, and then just broke off into

like just disparate bits. Oh mate, I can imagine how many bits you are kind of broken into now. I reckon, I mean how many

continents are there North America South America Europe Africa Asia Australasia probably can't

Antarctica so there's seven I'm the Galapagos island yeah I'm just in bits you're lonesome George

he dead now lonesome George I'm gonna look that up who's lonesome George he was the last surviving tortoise oh well he'll still be around

of the old Charles Darwin trip although he died in 2012 mate oh fuckins that's awful that's awful news Oh, will he still be around, warning? Of the old Charles Darwin trip. Although he died in 2012, mate. Oh, fuckings. That's awful. That's awful news. I think it's a bit, personally, I think it's a bit embarrassing.

Fair enough he was the rarest creature in the world. You can have that, George. No one can take that away from you. I think it's a bit embarrassing that the world's most famous tortoise, a species in and of themselves that are known for their longevity. And these only turn up for 102 years. Bar off, mate. Give us a 200er.

Some of it, at least. Yeah. We've heard about an octopus that has never died. Yeah. And that whale that's 400 or some shit. Well, there's the Greenland shark, which probably lives for hundreds of years. There's a bowhead whale,

which lives for hundreds of years. There's apparently the Greenland shark, which probably lives for hundreds of years. There's a bowhead whale, which lives for hundreds of years. Apparently, the Greenland shark, I don't think it's been absolutely observed, but based on the study of it, there's reasonable evidence to suggest that the Greenland shark can live for 500 years. That's incredible, isn't it? Can you imagine how much derision it would have

for the Gen Xers of their lives? You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. Like a shark's going, yeah, whatever Gen Xers with your lattes and your avocados. What, you're talking about this century? No, three centuries ago. In the green shark world, the young ones aren't pissed off with boomers for the housing market. They're pissed off with Elizabethans.

Yeah, they're just like, oh, fuck off the spinning Jenny generation. Yeah. Piss off the industrial revolution pricks. Do you want to... Smogged up the fucking world. Smogged up the world. Do you want to know what the record is? Tim's got loads of boats in it.

So apparently, as of July 2020, marine biologists have reported that aerobic microorganisms, so I guess that means, and I'm off the reservation here, that means, I guess, very small organisms that use oxygenated, oxygen for respiration, whatever. Whatever it uses. Yeah. Guess what? They're the longest living one that lives to. I'll give you a little bit more extra information.

They live 226 feet below the seafloor in the Pacific Ocean. They're the ones that get high off the old sulfur and stuff. They can just withstand everything. Unconfirmed. All right. Yeah, like the extremophiles we were talking about. Okay, yeah, yeah. Guess how long those organisms have lived for.

200. 200. What? 200 years. You want to be a little more ambitious? Neurophiles we were talking about. Okay, yeah, yeah. Guess how long those organisms have lived for. Two honey. 200. What? 200 years. You want to be a little more ambitious? 50,000 years. 101.5 million years.

That's too much. It's too long. He's lying. Yeah. He's like that. I remember watching a TV show on ITV, like a breakfast TV show, where I misheard how long a juggler had been juggling for and I thought he was legitimately 500 years old.

How old were you? He was like a man with a moustache and a jester's costume. How old were you? For some fucking reason. I was a four. Okay.

Or five or something. And he came on the television and they said, he's done 400, 500 dates over the last, you know, appearances over the last couple of years. Yeah.

And I took that to mean he's 500 years old. I was like, that guy is 500 years old. Fuck. And juggling keeps you young. Yeah. He's still a proper 80s tash, though, enjoyably.

What about trees? There's been trees observed to live for 14,000 years. Too long, baby, too long. And there are some other fungus, I think, that have lived for 40-odd thousand years. But if you're talking actual animals, well, listen, mate, if you want to talk about aquatic animals, you want to talk about the glass sponge.

Right. 10,000. Disgusting. Disgusting. That's a whole new world to me, because I think before I'd read all that and before we'd done this kind of show, if someone said to me, you know, look, what do you think the longest an animal can live for? And there's probably a little bit of a debate around what's an animal

and what isn't, but I wouldn't be thinking it'd be that long. No, too long. You can't even, I'll deal with a hundred years of your life.

I can't be arsed for the rest. It's a nonsense. Anyway, what were you saying before? Well, two things. The trees won't live

very long if people keep hammering fucking coins into them. Oh yeah. In Scotland. Wish trees. What's that about? It's a big question.

Is that a new thing? It happens in the Lake District as well. What, so people In Scotland. Wish trees. What's that about? It's a big question. Is that a new thing? It happens in the Lake District as well. What, so people just turn up with a little claw hammer and they hammer in coins into trees and kill them? Is that how they're doing it? No, I don't think...

Yeah, I think they're hammering it in. I don't think they're killing them. No, but they say it's damaging the trees, they say. Yeah. They do look badass, though, when there's loads of them in.

Well, I've seen... I saw the best one I've seen would have been, for those listening who are familiar with that part of the world, the base of Aeroforce, which is a nice kind of lake district peak to climb. There's a felled tree there. Really, really long tree trunk.

Yeah. Metres long and it's full of coins. Amazing. All the whole thing. I reckon if you, I reckon. I've never heard about it. It's a bit like lock on an Italian bridge or a French bridge,

isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I think if you got all the money from that one trade bank, I reckon you'd have about four quid. Which is not bad.

Yeah, not bad for a Deer's Wagon. You're talking about Deers? I was talking about Deers. Now, are you familiar with Deer Velvet? Not really.

It's an adorable, fluffy sort of membrane that covers the deer antlers, the male deer antlers. Oh, right, okay. A very small window every year. Are those antlers made of hair? It's keratin, isn't it? Generally, keratin.

Yeah, it's keratin, yeah. It's very strong. So like a fingernail type thing. Yeah. So for a few weeks or whatever months, a year, this kind of like soft velvet, uh, appears over the, over the, uh,

over the deer's antlers. And it looks lovely. It looks really fluffy. Yeah. It looks like an extension of their heads. It makes their antlers look less aggressive. It looks a bit like they got the antlers from John Lewis. It does.

Yes. Or a Sylvanian. It looks like the sort of Sylvanian families kind of skin. Yeah. Yeah. Um, but when, uh,

when, for when the antlers grow uh bigger and bigger there something astonishing happens something disgusting happens basically the velvet just explodes off the top of their spiky antlers and it's there's blood and guts and it looks it looks like that it looks like the uh deer has been like just absolutely been scrapping like you would you would not believe it's just like this rotting flesh coming off the top of these deer antlers and it goes from being the most adorable thing in the world the most disgusting thing in the world google shedding velvet deer

it is so violent looking but it's a natural part of um just the the deer shedding it doesn't hurt them no doesn't hurt it doesn't hurt it because it looks horrible it looks like it's been run through an abattoir. I think I've seen that. And I think I thought from a distance it was just that they had... Because you know

they put twigs and leaves in their antlers, the stags, to make themselves look bigger. Right, do they? So it's like a mating ritual, I think. So they'll dig their antlers

into the brush to make the antlers look as big as possible. I thought they were just doing that, but it might have been that. So you could make the toughest D-edge

by sticking a big afro wig on it. Just massive hair. I think if you would have just assembled twigs and grass and branches over your head as a younger man, you would have been much more virile. If that's possible. People wouldn't discount it.

No, it's completely impossible, to be quite frank. Yeah, so give that a Google, people, because that's possible, people wouldn't discount it. No, it's completely impossible to be quite frank. Yeah. So give that a Google people. Cause that really shocked me up there with elephants with boobs, to be quite frank, awful, awful stuff. Well,

actually not even just limited to elephants, like a load of different animals suddenly just appearing with boobs. With boobies. Yeah. And, and, and the, um,

the, the old, um, remember we had that chat about why you never saw a T-Rex penis or balls. Hmm. Yes. And the whole point is just, I think, or with boobs, remember we had that chat about why you never saw a T-Rex penis or balls yes and the whole point is I think the whole point is because lizards are different basically yeah lizards are different

that's what the emails came in as Pete, Luke, lizards are different just David Attenborough said it can I just tidy up a bit of admin from last week's shows we had some final results in our Linda Lusardi versus Hitler sword fight poll. Linda ended up with

66.2% of the vote in the end, so good on her. Well done, Linda. A consistent performance, actually, because at the time of recording, I think she was about 68, so she didn't actually lose too much of the vote. And the other piece of admin I wanted to say is that I completely forgot to say a couple

of weeks ago, you know know i went to the us and um you asked me what i did there and i told you a few things i did i didn't tell you that i went ice skating right oh right okay and that's not that interesting in and of itself but i was with the in-laws and they're all like natural born skaters so my wife does regular ice skating sessions down near where we live um her brother played went to like state championship of his ice hockey team at college or whatever it was um might be high school actually um her dad played ice hockey till he was in his 50s um and so what i'm trying to get at is that like it's okay to be bad at ice skating but it looks worse when you're the only one there

that can't do it. They can't do it really well as well. It's like going swimming with Adam Peaty's family. I'm quite into... I'm quite a good swimmer, but I can't skate. Right, I'm quite good. For me, who's been skating about four or five times, I reckon I'm all right at it,

which would be a surprise. What does that look like in reality, though? I can go backwards. Can you? I can go backwards. But that's actually decent. Right. I can do a little pirouette if I need to. No, you can't. I can do a little pirouette, mate. How do you know how to do that? Rolling a score. Is it the same thing, then? Yeah,

it's the same thing, isn't it? Just with blades on your feet. And more jeopardy if you fall over. Do you go with the... If I said to you right we're going ice skating in a minute and here's some elbow pads

some knee pads some good ice skates you're away are you yeah I'd have a lovely time do you have elbow pads and knee pads I don't know I just thought you might

want them for protection speaking of roller booting roller skating you call it yeah not roller blading I think I had roller I think I had roller boots

rather than it was kind of like a 70's disco kind of Saturday afternoon roller disco for the kids. When I was 16, I would just go around. That's a bit old for it, isn't it? Maybe not that old. Maybe 14. It's sort of going round and round while they play.

I got the key, I got the secret. That's nostalgic for me and I don't even do it. It's nice. The reason I said it is because... Millhouse is the centre, that's where for me and I don't even do it it's nice the reason I say that is because that's where they count all the votes where?

when they find out that's where they count all the votes and they go Hartlepool's declared oh declare for UKIP again what a deal you're whizzing behind

them in a roller boot putting your fucking ballot in sorry I'm late screech into a hole but a guy I live with at uni Richie Scottney

great guy he is an editor now for Sky Sports he's a cracking fella I lived with him at uni for a couple of years he was massively into roller hockey

which I didn't even know was a thing until I met him and it's a brutal brutal sport so it's a little bit like ice hockey but with roller blades

presumably yeah no roller boots roller boots yeah okay right that would interest me more because you'd be more still are you allowed to take the gloves off Ice hockey, but with rollerblades, presumably. Yeah, no, rollerboots. Rollerboots, yeah. Okay, right. That would interest me more, because you'd be more still. Are you allowed to take the gloves off and start wailing? I don't think so.

But he did... I mean, he was a... I'll be honest, he won't mind me saying this. I'm sure he's not now, but he was a fighter. And he was also... He went into his boxing and he was tough. Right. And he had a massive scar on his nose and kind of mouth

from a roller hockey dust-up. Right, okay. So I think it can be quite brutal. It can get a bit tasty. With people who play ice hockey into their 50s, do sort of the more mature leagues, and I'm sure your father-in-law will probably correct this, do you still punch each other in the face? Nah, it's not really a thing.

They don't do it in college hockey either. No. It's only in the NHL. So when Larry was playing, he was playing with, when I saw him, he was playing with Mimi's brother.

So it was like an all-ages team. Right, okay. I guess he's just good at it and so he was able to do it and he was still in pretty good shape. So there was a mixture

of different ages. I would say it's probably like, it would be like having a five-a-side team where you'd actually have a team but it's just five-a-side basically. It's basically like pick-up hockey, basically.

But yeah, so, and the other thing that's interesting about that is roller derby, which is kind of a bit of a subculture, isn't it? I cannot, it's always mates, female mates who have tattoos just really into that. Very punky. And every weekend they're just damaging themselves.

But I don't know what the rules are. I've they're just damaging themselves but I don't know what the rules are I've watched a bit of it I don't know what it's all about it's just people pushing each other over and outing themselves so one of them

tends to have a star on their helmet which means they have to and they have to lap the other team right but then

and your team has to support them by stopping the other players and stopping the other person it's horrific it's quite brutal it's really brutal and the one I've seen

I saw a video of it where the rink was banked as well almost like a velodrome which is quite quite cool I was I went for

I've gone all over the houses here but I went for a dog walk around Haddon Castle and around the back of there there's like a park. And a lot of it was used for the 2012 mountain biking and stuff. Oh, cool.

I was skipping down the rocks and stuff. Well, that's the legacy of the Olympic Committee wanted. Exactly, yeah. Me skipping down there going, this is easy. Yeah. Was it quite steep? It was just really like loads of different rocks and stuff. And I was like, God, they will have had to meticulously

put this kind of route together and stuff and it goes all over the place and it was yeah I mean you would not want

to go down there on a bike that's ridiculous absolutely ridiculous I think we would all like to see you have you got a mountain bike

in the garage no I haven't take your moped down that would be mad by the way before we go to a break I wanted to ask you

about because we mentioned this on the football ramble late last week about you going to Cliveden House or Cliveden House? Yeah, okay. What is it, Cliveden House? Cliveden House, it's where the Profumo affair

happened. Huh. Where Keeler and them got caught. Where is it? It is in near Maidstone. Stunning kind of just big house where Tories lived. I wonder if that's the hotel that the ITV team for the Euros were staying in. No, really?

That's crazy. I mean, that would be throwing money at the problem there. But yeah, it's an incredible bit of work. But I'm obsessed with the fact that some car drivers get away with just having like four numbers on their plates. Yeah, you can have any approved number of you personalized. but this is like it's just numbers just yeah you can do that no you need letters in there don't you nah nah you do do you yeah i think so yeah so

so my point is guernsey number plates they don't have mrt they don't have road tax but they have this kind of like numbering system where how do they even get the cars here well exactly so one it's a it could be like one one two, 3, or 1, 4, 3, 4. And that's your whole registration plate. Right. And it's black plate, silver letters. It looks really badass. And that's why rich people put them on their Rolls Royces

because it's, you know, really unique. It's classic. But I was like, why are they allowed? Why does everyone else have to have, like, you know, either personalised number plates or my classic DU67 or something? Don't give it out. Why? What, are they going to find out I drive a Fiat?

Well, you might get advanced number plate recognition and you might get a parking fine or something. Oh, shit, yeah, maybe. I don't know how that would work. But, yeah, it's a situation where they're allowed to have them in the country for like six months and they've got to get rid of them or re-register them as a car here. You're not allowed foreign number plates,

I realise, after a certain period of time. So when those kind of wealthy Middle Eastern guys bring their cars over to just hoon around Mayfair once a year. Got to take them back soon. Is that what they do? They just think you're not taking your car on holiday,

basically. Yeah, pretty much. And there are companies that do that. The guy next door to me, I think I said before on the show that that's his job. He sort of moves cars around the country and beyond. But around the country is easy enough. Yeah, it is easy enough. Just drive it. No, you put before on the show that he, that's his job. He sort of moves cars around the country and beyond. But around the country is easy enough.

Yeah, it is easy enough. Just drive it. No, you put it on the truck. You would not interest someone on a long distance. You want to drive like an F1 car down the motorway. Do you know what I was reading the other day? When I went to the airport to go to the US, we parked in the official Heathrow Airport parking.

They're planes, mate. They don't need to see the flight. You would not believe what they get up to up there. Yeah, I couldn't believe mate. They don't need to register. Oh, is that what it is? You would not believe what they get up to up there. Yeah, I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe the range. No, and I read that, so what people do,

because Heathrow parking, if you don't book it in advance, can be quite expensive. Right. So there's lots of, there's like a kind of other industry that's grown up around major airports where you basically hire,

or you rent, or you buy a big piece of land, and you set it a car park right and you just charge cheaper cheaper fees right and they all look a bit not all of them but some of them look a little bit kind of ropey and i was reading i don't know how i got onto this but i was reading that um what a lot of those car parkers parts have been found to be doing is they just use them as like well they know when you're going to be back because you have to give the information and they just use them as like, well, they know when you're going to be back, because you have to give the information, and they just use them as their own private car. Lots of people are reporting that their mileage has gone way up,

because basically some little scrote in the car park is like, well, that's the best car here, so I'll just have that for two weeks, and just taking it home. Oh, so why would you not just take your kit on keys, though? Why would you hand out the keys? Because you can valet park and all the rest of it, yeah. Jesus. Yeah, that is...

Naughty, isn't it yeah that is naughty isn't it that is naughty and it's a high risk manoeuvre one would say imagine if you crashed it yeah

I miss the whole match day parking you don't see that as often enough anymore it'll just be some bloke

who's got a back garden that's quite large weirdly that still happens a lot in Twickenham. Outside the rugby stadium. Nice area around there. And people I've

seen time and time again, because my wife and I go walking on the river quite a lot. It's a really nice run there. A nice summer's day, you have to walk on the river and you have to go through that part of Twickenham to go wherever it is we want to go. And on a rugby match day, I don't know anything about rugby, so I have no idea when the games are playing, but I guess if to go and on a rugby match day I don't know anything about rugby

so I have no idea when the games are playing but I guess if you go there on a random Saturday there might be a game on there's people with little cardboard signs up in their posh houses

saying you can fit two cars here 30 quid an afternoon or whatever there's an app that's quite good where it's like you can rent out

people's front drive or whatever so if you've got a two car drive you can just get an app and you just find one closet and there are so many people doing it it's 10 a day or whatever I think you've got like a two car drive you can just get an app and you just find one close and there are so many

people doing it it's 10 a day or whatever do you think people are listening and enjoying this no look this is the first show

you've come to the first episode we don't do that much about cars look we've had Shedded Velvet we've had why are there

before we go I would like to go back to the car park chat thank you why does every new car park you park in require a different fucking app? There's like a million competing apps.

I've got like seven different apps on my phone. I'm just pay-by-phone. That's all I use. That's the one here. I don't want to talk to anyone. Ring, what, ring them up and go, ugh. No, pay-by-phone is the only app I've ever had to use. Yeah, no, no.

In Southend, there are five different competing companies. I must be lucky then, because Dulwich Park, where I sometimes drive, and here. That's a go-by park or whatever, yeah. It's pay-by-phone. That's wild. Pay-by-phone, baby. All right, listen, if you're listening to this in the car,

and you do park in a minute, make sure you pay. It's not our fault if you don't. No. Let's have a quick break. When we come back, we are going to do some emails, of course. I'm actually going to do one about

a man on a cycling trip. I bloody enjoyed it. I don't know if it's true, but it was just great. So we'll do that. So don't go anywhere. We'll be back just after this. We're back with the Luke and Pete show

and your emails. Luke, do you want to kick us off with your aforementioned cycling one? Yeah, so regular listeners to the show will know that I put a little line at the top of each email just to remind myself what it's all about. And then I revisit it later

and I always get entertained by it because I'm someone who likes to please myself Liam Roberts and his mates have a time of it on a cycling trip is the title of this email

so we'll let Liam pick up the story he says what does he say hearing your show on Monday last week talking about

Ian Botham walking a steady four miles an hour followed by your chat about TV in which contestants had to stay awake for as long as they could,

reminded me of an ill-fated night when I was a student on a cycling trip. Cast your minds back to 2012, guys, because this is when this takes place. Liam says, in 2012 for the summer, two friends and I cycled to Amsterdam from Dunkirk. The trip taking a few days there and back. All around, it was a brilliant, brilliant time, but the end was a horrific tale of endurance. Have you heard this story, Pete? No. On the final day of Sunday,

we had around 120 kilometres to cover to get our ferry at 4am, which, when you're sleeping in a tent and waking up at the crack of dawn, didn't seem too bad for the amount of time we had. Fast forward 70 kilometres, we'd ridden, we'd stopped for a few bevvies, and we were on the outskirts of the town of

austin belgium around 6 p.m three hours cycle from the finish at a steady pace so far so good okay this is when one of the riders axles broke on his back wheel at first we didn't think it would be a problem i rode to the town to try and find a bike shop but nothing was open as it was a sunday so i rode back to the group next we tried to look for a train conceding that we might not be able to make it no trains on the sunday no buses either in the end around 8 p.m so eight hours before the ferry we decided that we were going to have to walk it we calculated if we walked four miles an hour for seven and a half hours with a few 10 minute sit downs it would be achievable this was very much the belgian beer and student delusions of invincibility talking we set off two riding slow and one walking taking it in terms to spread the load one of the group

had a speedometer and planned to let us know if we dropped below the speed it wasn't difficult to start with but it rapidly got worse 10 p.m everyone started to flag from the beers and the exercise 12 midnight puncture on one of the bikes. No more inner tubes. No time to stop. 1am. Last bike gets a puncture so all three are now walking. 130am. Run out of water. Oh no.

145. Music player breaks leaving the song Hats Off to Larry by Dale Shannon on repeat or just silence. I would very much like

to know what that song goes. I'm sure he could tell you. 2am. Decided to discard tents due to weight. This is like the last diary of a lost group. 3am starting to hallucinate that I was in the Truman show

and felt like I could see cameramen and I was spotting holes in the set thinking the trees were made of polystyrene. 3.30am one of the group injured a leg and is trying to hobble at 4mph. 3.45 wrong turn. 4am ferry leaves. 4.01am, one of the group injured a leg and is trying to hobble at 4mph. 3.45am, wrong turn. 4am, ferry leaves. 4.01am, our arrival.

Oh, well done. Not only have we had one of the most exhausting days of our lives, says Liam, the entire reason we had done it was not achieved, despite being so close. We then weren't allowed to stay at the ferry port and had to sleep outside next to a power station, no longer in the possession of any tents, with a keen fox regularly eating our leather bike seats in the night which is just like insult to injury

the next day we had to fork out for new tickets to return home including every train ticket back to Bristol on the other side because we missed all the trains all round a bad day but a great trip all the best Liam that is one of those things where you make decisions that don't seem that bad at the time but just sadly make everything worse

yeah I just don't know how. I mean, axles you can't really fix, but I mean, you can re-inflate tyres, can't you? I mean, you can sort that side of things out. How would you have done it, mate? Probably would have driven. Yeah. Probably got a train or something.

Horrible, horrible situation. I wondered if the hitchhiking thing was an option. Yeah, maybe. I mean, we didn't say what year it was. Has hitchhiking got safer? I don't know. I don't even know if you can do it anymore, can you? When I was living in New Zealand,

I don't think I've told this story before, I went back to, I was living with two mates, and we'd been out on the booze, and quite late, about 1.30 in the morning, we ended up heading back and those two my two mates wanted to go to get a bit of food or something i just headed straight home when i got back i went into the flat and um i and it was summer and i basically stripped down to my boxers yeah and then i heard the next door neighbor having a bit of a booze up or whatever and i

we knew him and so in my boxers i was drunk i i i knocked on his door and it was just him and him and his mate and he said oh um oh yeah we're having a few beers you know you join bring the other lads or something yeah but please put your trousers on and and i said oh yeah i will um i'm just gonna um i'm just gonna get get some clothes clothes back on as i said that my front door closed and I was locked out oh dear right it's out now isn't it yeah and I was like

oh right great so I'll buy some clothes from you and he was like oh yeah yeah I'll get round to it and anyway we were just chatting away

we were drinking so I was just chatting away in my boxer shorts it's not as bad as it sounds I was just in my boxers and I was young dude yeah yeah yeah

anyway I thought I heard my mates right and so I went back out of that flat and that door closed and this music was so loud he couldn't fucking hear me again

and he just thought I'd gone home because he was pissed so I stood outside in my fucking box and those boys didn't fucking come back for hours

so I sat outside my front door did you have a little sleep I was nodding off yeah but it gets quite cold when you get to about 4am no matter how hot it is.

It's fucking disastrous. Absolutely disastrous. Look, that's horrific. What a horrible story. Again, a horrible story. But luckily I didn't burst a puncture of a tyre or anything. And then all that lovely velvet fell off your horns. Yeah, it did.

It did. Right, let's have one from Andrew. Hello, Andrew. Hi, Luke and Pete. Luke's chat about his first experience smelling a skunk spray made me think of the skunk smell and scent associations. In the mid-80s, my dad had a kidney transplant. After the successful transplant,

he took the medication cyclosporine daily to prevent kidney rejection. I always thought the medicine had a distinct smell, but I never found it unpleasant. Years later, I realised that what people referred to as skunk spray smell was the identical smell my brain associates to cyclosporine. People would say, a skunk must have died, the odor is strong, and I would just think it would smell like Dad's meds.

It took an embarrassingly long time for me to make the connection that it was the same scent, but I never thought of it as foul because my brain associated the smell to keeping my dad alive, not smelly rodents. That's what memory association do to you. Love the show. Andrew. What a weird association. Would it be really that strong, though?

I don't really have any experience of medication smelling of anything. Banana. When you were a kid, remember the banana medicine? Delicious. Oh, yeah. That cowpole type thing. Yeah. There's a very distinct...

I mean, you're jamming it up your nose so you're gonna know aren't you um uh becanaise

has a very distinct sort of smell yeah but I I would have thought for some kind of anti-rejection

medication um it would just be tablets no I don't know I don't know how you

I don't know how you would take it to be honest yeah it probably wouldn't be a bottle

you huffed I'll tell you what if you were taking medication that smelled like skunk spray that would be hard

you'd be like that's good stuff sounds like good stuff doesn't it I remember Intel Intel what do you call them inhalers

for asthma in the 80s used to taste fucking disgusting it just used to properly taste like rot and I hated it

I think I had a go on a couple of my mates when I was a kid and it didn't do very nice did your mates used to do that with you I I hated it I think I had a go on a couple of my mates when I was a kid and it didn't do very nice did your mates used to do that with you I was trying to go

on your inhaler yeah a little bit yeah it's weird yeah it is weird I couldn't really work out at the time and I probably still can't how it actually works

what do you mean as in like what does it do well there's two kinds one will be preventative one's to keep on your person if you yeah but what does it actually do

so I mean I don't know how it actually activates. How is spraying a lot of really weird cold powder down your throat helping you? So, one's a muscle relaxant. So,

the one you're talking about there, if you, oh yeah, a bit of experience. One's a muscle relaxant where, obviously, the tubes are like really tight

and your emergency one is just to sort of relax those pipes that are being irritated by um you know dust or whatever um being irritated because it tightens up when it when it gets irritated because it tries to flush how many tight tubes have you got in your body because your bum hole was tight yeah i know right yeah i just need a bit need i needed the reverse one for that really but yeah that just relaxes it and then there's also a preventative one that tries to get rid of tries to um get rid of all of the um crap that's in your lungs so so there's two two different kinds remember that tries to get rid of all of the crap that's in your lungs.

So there's two different kinds. Remember that story with that Russian guy who had a little tree growing in his lung? Oh, is that true? Yeah. Is that just like what... He inhaled a seed by accident or something. Come on. I thought I think he did.

Come on now. You get a lot of oxygenation. Pete, when you were in 2012... It doesn't want it, it's a tree. When you were a const doesn't want it it's a tray when you were constipated for the whole 2012 when you only had

four poos in the whole year kind of year what was the actual problem there's a spider in the bathroom on that note

we should leave we should leave we'll get to the bottom pun intended of your constipation issues another time we will be back on Thursday for more of this nonsense

we'll do some battery brands we'll do some other bits and pieces as well I'm sure it's going to be lots of fun so make sure you come back then and it'll be September by then Pete can you believe that

fuck off well I wish I could and so do our listeners hello at lukeandpetech.com to get in touch on the email at lukeandpetech or on the socials we love hearing from you socom to get in touch on the email at LukeandPeteShow on the socials. We love hearing from you

so please do get in touch and we will speak to you soon. The Luke and Pete Show is a Stack Production and part of the Acast Creator Network.