The Luke and Pete Show - Volcano Pete

Episode Date: September 23, 2021

Pete is off to the Canary Islands just in time to see a volcano erupt everywhere. Bloody typical. Will he come back covered in molten hot magma? Stay tuned to find out. What else does today's show consist of, we hear you ask? Well, there's a cat having problems using his catflap, a trip or two to the greyhounds, and a very naughty grandparent. Be warned.To get in touch, you know the email address by now, but just in case you need a reminder: [e-mail] soon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the Luke and Pete show It's Thursday And we're ready to talk all things batteries and brands Oh yeah And toys and aeroplanes It's a battery day today Yeah, I'm technically at this moment We're not letting anybody down by letting anybody know that

We pre-record these shows because we have to it's not a radio show we don't do it live what's wrong with you

you idiot this is live I'm doing this right now whatever you fucking say I am doing this right now

I'm off on my holes tomorrow by which I'm already on my holes hopefully because I

booked Canary Islands oh yeah and this morning right big volcano oh were the whole thing's a volcano

oh nuts yeah big volcano's got angry I think we'll be alright but I am a bit like that's sod's law have you been to the Canary Islands before no

I have what's it like ask me about it what's it like I've been to Tenerife you going to Tenerife I haven't gone to Tenerife what's it like in Tener it what's it like I've been to Tenerife you going to Tenerife I haven't gone to Tenerife what's it like in Tenerife

it's a fucking dump any tips it's a fucking dump yeah what do you mean it's a fucking dump it's awful what do you mean

it's terrible what's so terrible about it it might have got better I'm only joking I'm only joking I went there when I was about 18 and it was all the strip and the booze

and all the rest of it I'm sure there are absolutely lovely parts of it. The reason people love it, by the way, of course, is because all year round you get a good bit of sun, right? Yeah, I think that's why

we're going. How long are you going for? A week and a half. What are your plans? No plans. Just having a rest. You'll get bored, mate. I won't get bored.

You'll go on walks on your own. That's what happened. I have been accused of that before you just you just any excuse just walk off

I'm just going to the shop to buy some sunglasses you do that all the time I like to have a little walk off the amount of times I like to have a think

about things the amount of times we've needed to do something where it's needed everyone there and you've not been there is unbelievable

just go for a walk mate I know experiencing Jim Campbell used to say if we all think about where it's needed everyone there and you've not been there is unbelievable. Just gone for a walk mate. I know. Experiencing things. Jim Campbell used to say if we all think about Pete at the same time he'll appear and if one of us stops thinking about him

he'll disappear. And I can remember once I can remember once being late for something I think we were doing a live show in Dublin or something and it was late

because the guy who was running it was running late and we couldn't get in the venue and by the time we could get in the venue it was we were way behind time. And we were waiting for you for a lot of it. And you just turned up, strolled in with a bag of Haribos. Like nothing had happened.

Well, I had clearly been to the shops. What the fuck are you doing? I'm going to have some fucking Carabao. What are you doing? So all I'm saying is... I'm going to try some Irish Haribo. The partner you've got access to, who probably knows you much better than I do anyway so it'll be fine will need to prepare herself

for you. Just go for a walk. Don't just go for a walk into the sea like some people do. Or hire a scooter. Yeah, don't do that. And so you stand

at a nice place? Yeah, I think so, yeah. It's quite nice which made me double worried because Ollie paid for it and I'm not sure what the cancellation policies are. What's the deal with

that'll be force majeure they won't pay out for that. the cancellation policies are what's the deal with that'll be force majeure they won't pay out for that no exactly what's the deal with the Covid I think you've got to you've got to do

it's more getting back into Britain I think they accept the Covid passport thing there inexplicably but it's just a lot

of form filling isn't it yeah I had to do loads of forms when I came back from the US and are you staying near Las Veronica's

where's Las Veronica's that's the big you always used to be we're going back a time now but that always used to be the big strip where everyone used to go boozing

right okay where you can it'd be like you know two cocktails for a fiver and Wonder Bar's getting free and that kind of stuff oh no I think we're

a little bit far away from that I once saw a man get beaten to death in Tenerife actually beaten to death yes wow

yeah any particular reason oh it is quite close yeah it is quite close oh mate you're not going to get a wink of sleep fucked it mate

yeah I saw someone I saw a big fight which ended with a load of a load of security people beating someone right

and the man sadly died. Oh, dear. Yeah, very, very sadly. This is about 25 years ago, probably now. Well, I'm sure we'll have a nice time. So you're staying right near the ear-splitting volumes of Las Baronicas. And the Hard Rock Cafe. Quite near a site of a man being beaten to death.

And there's a volcano erupting. Yep. Yeah. Are you thinking about just staying here? Good water park. Who's looking after the dogs? Although I've been to the water park. Who's looking after the dogs? Good water park. Although I've been to the water park.

It's actually decent. The thing I remember about the water park is that being at the top of the stairs for the big flume, it was moving way too much. Like way too much. That was the thing we had at the weekend. I went on a roller coaster and it does a loop-de-loop on the south end one.

You would not catch me if you were doing a million miles of that. And it was wobbling. And it has to wobble. If it didn't wobble, it would be brittle. You would not catch me within a million miles of that. And it was wobbling and it has to wobble. If it didn't wobble, it would be brittle, it would snap. But,

a bit wobbly. A bit wobbly. It's not a fucking skyscraper. It's a little bit wobbly. It's still the same principles. If it was solid, it wouldn't withstand any kind of abuse. Who's looking after your dogs

when you go away? Father and mother of the wife I have access to, partner I have access to. Okay. Okay, so are they well-versed in the old dog have access to, partner I have access to. Okay. Okay, so are they well-versed in the old dog trade?

Yeah, they love it. Absolutely love it. So the dog's going there or are they coming to stay at your house? Dog's going there. And now it's like a little holiday

for them as well. Lovely big garden. Just tell them it's Tenerife. They won't be any different, will they? Brilliant.

So what's on your agenda? What's your big kind of ambition for the holiday? Just to relax for a bit? Just relax. I never read any books, do I? I'm a terrible book reader.

People should recommend a book for you. What's the most recent book you've read? What was... I think the problem is I'll read a book and I'll go,

that was great. I want to read more books and then I'm like, I've just forgotten what the book was about. Right. What's the one that's I'm like, I've just forgotten what the book was about. What's the one that's about, like, it's about the world and it's about geopolitical stories and how things came to be in politics and geography.

And it's basically, if there's a hill, it's a problem. You know what I mean? The best armies always win if they're higher than the other army it seems and so like if you've got a mountain range

next to your country you're usually pretty safe because no fucker can get over it basically it's quite hard to broadcast in this kind of environment you know that

people listening here don't underestimate how tough it is when Pete says stuff like that I can't remember it was something like that it was one of those

kind of buzzy books like Sapiens or something but it was all about politics and mountains Stuff like that. I can't remember. It was something like that. It was one of those kind of buzzy books, like Sapiens or something, but it was all about politics and mountains and rivers and stuff like that. Sapiens is good. So it was one of those ones that I sit down and read and I never just get through it.

I really loved it, but I didn't really like the follow-up. I think it's called Homo Deus. I couldn't really get on with that. Right. I didn't really like that as much. So listen, mate. Get yourself down Las Veronica's.

Get yourself sat in a corner with a book, stop on your sex on the beach, and you're woo-woo. Pina Colada. Yeah. Pond Star Martini. Try not to worry about the volcano. That's going to be great.

No, I wish you all the best. You worked very hard, so you deserve a break, and I hope you enjoy it. What else was I going to say to you? I was going to say to you that when I was down at my parents' last weekend, I told you I used to work at Safeway, right?

Yes. The long-departed Safeway. My mum said that she worked there as well. And I talked to her about it. It was quite fun to work there. And lots of good laughs. It was fun. Orange, is that you?

Yeah. No, that was Asda. Similar. Other side of the road, really. I crossed the divide. Not many people do it. Not many people do Safeway at Asda. Similar, other side of the road really. I crossed the divide, not many people do it. Not many people do Safeway Asda and get away with it.

It's a stunning fly cross. It's a bit like Rages and Celtic. Anyway, check this out, right? There was a couple of people who got fired from Safeway during my time

that I never knew they got fired. I thought they just left. Right. One of them got fired because he was in charge of the trolleys and he used to steal the pound coins

from the trolleys. Right? I mean also without being too kind of putting too far a point on it

the guy I'm not going to name him because it wouldn't be fair he has learning difficulties and he worked there for like 20 years and it was like great for everyone

he got a great job that he enjoyed you know society were getting sunk out of it because you know he was gainfully employed he was doing his thing

he was a bit of a legend people liked him they fucking fired him for that let him have the pounds or just sort of go don't do that don't do that

can't do that because not only funny I stole much more than that I didn't listen to this just 10 quid out the tills the worst I'd love to get

people's opinion on this I'd love to if anyone's got a story like this a guy who worked on the bakery, he got fired, check this out,

because he got caught and someone dobbed him in for this. Right. Because when his nan, his elderly nan came in every week for a cream cake, he put a bit of extra cream on the cake for her.

You're kidding me. And they fired him for that. Isn't that the sweetest story ever? Is this a fucking bino? What, like, it's so kind of like just put a little bit more cream on.

How would you even know how much cream you're supposed to have? Rules are rules. Right? We've got to have rules. But that's bad, isn't it? That's terrible.

And also, I've never seen in a supermarket somebody making a cream cake and then finishing it off while people come to collect it. So maybe it looked a

bit weird that he was running over to a stack of already created cakes and just smearing cream on the top of it from a piping cream on it. What fresh hell have you got to be living in to report someone for that? I don't know. It's weird how small minded people can be. I was in the fucking fridge at the back housing Sunny Delight and had a hangover and no one's in a thing.

No one's in a thing no one's in a thing it's just an awful thing I've got a lot of difficulties a couple of people a couple of people got beat got fired for having fights in the warehouse

like fist fights letting their hands go after an argument about milk or whatever you know what was this weird fucking place you worked it sounded brilliant

you don't tell me there probably weren't fights at supermarkets in Hartlepool yeah but I mean I don't know, to be honest. I can't, I've never really sort of worked with them. I had a trial with Iceland. I didn't get the job in the end.

Why not? I don't know. I remember going for a... Type of shorts and t-shirt, not suitable. I went up for an interview with them. And the guy took me around the shop and said, you know, this and that. And like, just casual staff, innit? Yeah.

How old were you? I was, I think, I probably was about 15, 16. Couldn't get in. What was your first job? Betting shop. Betting shop? Betting shop, yeah. You must have been 18 to work there though, right?

No, I think I was, was I 17? Oh, maybe I was 18. What did you do? That was good pay. That was good pay compared to everything else. Just do it. Just sign out the bets and stuff. Because back then you had to take the bets.

On a piece of paper and a baro, right? On a piece of paper and a baro and make sure they were correct and the dog race hadn't already started, which everyone tried it on. Yeah, of course. It's just ridiculous. I mean, it's a dog.

Do it on a horse race, fine. That's, you know, there's a few lengths in it. There's a couple of laps or whatever. People love the dogs, though. But the dogs, over like that, why are you even trying it? Have you ever been to the dogs? fine that's you know there's a few lengths isn't it it's a couple of laps or whatever you've got five minutes but the dogs over like that why are you even trying it have you ever been to the dogs

I mean my life is in the dogs but have you ever been to greyhound racing I think I went to greyhound racing once back in the day or I may

it may have just been I went to the speedway which you don't really see it very often anymore the speedway bikes I've never been to the speedway not with dogs I just remember with dogs.

Dogs on the motorbike. Yeah, a little bit like that. I've been to the Greyhounds and I remember I was probably about 20, 21, and people had talked it up for a long time. Brilliant night out. It's brilliant. It's so depressing. It is so depressing.

It feels like the end of the world. I thought York races were depressing. I imagine the dogs is even worse to be honest. Not the dogs. Horse racing is interesting because you get the full

spectrum. If you go to Cheltenham Festival you will get the proper working class contingent who have

doled up for the day and they're the ones that you see on having fights. That happens a lot at the races. Doing cook off a key. Yeah. Right, that happens a lot at the racing. Doing coke off a key. Yeah, but you also get really posh people as well.

At the dogs... Also doing coke off a key. Yeah, yeah. But in a box, so no one sees it. At the dogs, it's just... I just remember it being blokes who smelt of old man's trousers with those big John Motsen-type sheepskin coats on. Spending the whole day there.

I've got a very loose grasp of how to run a business even now. Even then I was thinking, how is anyone making any money off of this? Because there's about 30 people here. There was no internet betting. So how is anyone making any money? And the idea of going down to the track side at the Dogs in Portsmouth, it was in Portsmouth in the 90s, right? And not being intimidated

by the bloke who's doing the betting yeah is it's just impossible but they're like sort of blokes who are like in they're just one man shows

aren't they because you've got the the official betting people with their shops their big shops at the races anyway and then with the horses

you've got just random blokes who have just got the prices and the thing is it's the only place in the world that I've ever known that you'll see this. They are working class. They will beat you in a fight. And they are astonishingly good at math.

And that crossover isn't very common. No, I guess not. It's instinctual, isn't it? It's instinctive, the way that they know their numbers. So they'll go, bang. Right. Okay. What do you want?

What do you want? You say, I want to bet on that horse. Okay. Was three to one. Now five you want? You say, I want to bet on that horse. Okay. Was three to one. Now five to two. So you're going to go to five of them. Monkey. Get Pony on that.

Give you about a plushy steak. Pines, 57. Yeah. Yeah. And then you're like, fucking baffling. You could be telling me anything. You could take anything from me. And I feel like I would be in the wrong.

Only bets on a Yankee. Yeah. 11, I think. Yeah, exactly. Around Robin, 10. Lovely. Do you do the thing? I always do this.

So you probably don't do this. This happens to me with a tradesman at my house, with a car salesman, with a betting person, whatever. I automatically, because you know I'm a massive, basically a massive blagger. I automatically take on the character of someone who also knows all about it. Yeah, okay. But I don't. But you don't do the voice.

No, not really. You don't do the working class accent. Well, I've already got one of those, haven't I? But for example, Pete, it could be in a case of where you have a roofer come to fix your roof. Yeah. And he starts telling you all this stuff

and it's going to end up costing you loads of money. Yeah. But you end up just being like, oh yeah, of course, yeah, yeah, alright, makes sense.

I come up with a different tack. I just basically get them to describe the very fundamentals of their job. So I go,

what is water? They're going to take you for a ride. They're going to think this guy's absolutely clueless. I'm giving them the chance to

just give me the breadth of their knowledge. What's water? But they're going to make money off you doing that. I know they're going to make money off you doing that. I know they're going to make money off me. What you want them to do is you want them to think,

right, this guy is not a roofer, for example, but he knows enough about it that I can't rip him off. That's what you want. That's what I told you when the guy came to do my roof. I'm not suggesting he was a cowboy toy. He was brilliant and he was perfectly fine. But I overheard him saying to his mate that I was a proper fella. Do you remember I told you?

No. Yeah, I was delighted. Shut up. Yeah. You must have been so proud. I was really proud. Oh, Lukey. And he said to his mate,

I'm proud of you. He's a proper fella. Proper fella. It's the best thing that's ever happened to me since the guy called me Big Boss in the kebab shop in front of everyone.

And then did he see your tea and you went, oh, scratch that. What I just said, it's too milky. So much milk. I didn't let him see my tea. I made him tea and coffee but I didn't did he see your tea and you went oh scratch that what I just said it's too milky so much milk I didn't let him see my tea I made him tea

and coffee but I didn't let him see my tea but the point is what I realised later on is that he he thought that because I was just basically

probably unconsciously just trying to be him right so I spoke to my mate I just picked up a hammer and started hitting the wall yeah I was just up there

just going I I I did a lot of research into stuff like code four lead and code five lead and what lead you should use

on the chimney and what lead you should use on the roof. Okay, right. I was just talking to him about it. Yeah.

But it's quite thrilling because if he asks me any kind of technical question, I'm out of my depth. Yeah. You know what I mean? You can eat lead. I ate it on a film once.

Hang on, so you researched what lead goes on flashing and what so hang on so you researched what lead goes on like flashing and what you know what lead goes on what I do

when there's a problem with the house yeah give it a google is someone on youtube doing it and you sort of go that I've not got that tool

if the youtube video is longer than 4 or 5 minutes I won't watch it because I can't be arsed that's modern tutorials though it used to be you'd go to a website and it would give you

step by step bam bam bam bam bam what you needed to do to fix the problem now it's watch this fucking YouTube video and the first

five minutes is the fucker explaining the very concept of his own YouTube channel he's like how you doing this is the fucking

Adobe Audition tutorials and I'm going to teach you today how to do some compression some mixing techniques mixing techniques are really important just tell me how to do the compression, some mixing techniques. Mixing techniques are really important. Just tell me how to do the fucking thing!

What do you need? What do you need? What did you need doing last time you did a tutorial? Just like how to fucking fix a roof tile, how to do like stud work in a wall, in a cavity wall, how to work with plasterboard,

like all this stuff. You shouldn't be all this stuff you shouldn't be doing this you shouldn't be doing this I'll admit hey I've done a lovely job on my plasterboard thank you very much you've done a great job

on your home studio I've done a lovely job on my home studio the wifi I have access to has got me into a situation where I cannot win right because she wants me

to do all this practical stuff around the house yeah but when I do it I fuck it up right and I get in trouble well

yeah that is a that is difficult, I guess. And the great LC, my father-in-law, he can do everything. Yeah. He had a week off work and he just did a kitchen. Just did a kitchen. Did his own kitchen. I guess like kitchens, if you can fuck about with pipes and you can fuck about with electricity,

everything else is just like nailing stuff in it, screwing stuff into a wall. Electricity is where they say, stop. Stop. You can do whatever you want, up to. Electricity is where they say, stop. Stop. You can do whatever you want, up to, but not including electricity. Okay, right. I think.

In America, they're a bit more calm with doing what we want because it's freedom. Do you know what I mean? Because it's freedom, yeah. They don't want people in their business.

But then I've noticed on buying and selling that excellent television program in America, they have very stringent rules on mould. If they see any mould, they almost like you've got to condemn the house because there's mould

in the walls or whatever. But here, we have a lot of mould, don't we? People don't seem to fucking care. Very weird. Victoria and London. Do you think that we, so do you think that we are of a generation who just can't do stuff? Is that why? Because a lot of people I went to school with

are good at that kind of thing erm yeah I don't know I just don't know I'll have a go though you're better you're better than me at it

I've got I've bought enough tools to sort of go if I hit that it'll move and I've got enough tape good tape

to stop it moving do you know what annoys me a little bit. What? The guys who built this studio who are really clever at that stuff, and they're brilliant. And one of the carpenters actually came around and did something at my house

and he did it brilliantly as well. Oh, did he? Yeah. Oh. I love your little secret stories I don't know about. Why is it a secret story, is it? I just said to him in the office, when you finish this job,

I've got a job for you at my house, do you want it? And he looked down the road and he was like, yeah, fine. Interesting. What did he do in your house he built a sound shelf for my wife yeah and I was really happy with it

and it's great interesting but what I was going to say was if I put a really great like a brilliantly constructed and beautifully written email back to someone that I'm working with

no one gives me credit that's my that's my carpentry no one's going to go he's really that's my carpentry no one gives me credit doing a bit of proofing.

Yeah. Yeah. You don't get credit for that, do you? When I uploaded the show recently, you have been sending me the descriptions that you lovingly

and beautifully write. You go, can you proof this for us? You are asking an idiot to do this. For a fair life. Yeah, but that is putting your trust

in the wrong person. No, it's not. It's putting the responsibility on you so I don't get blamed. Good point. Let's have a break. All right, let's get out of here.

When we come back, we're going to do some batteries and we'll do a couple of your emails as well. We've got a brilliant one which I kept over from Monday because we've run out of time. So I'm going to do that today too. So stick around.

Peace. You thought you were going to do something. I'm just doing that. Peace. So you're experimenting with noises made with your mouth in the middle of a link. There was a bit in a film I watched

over the weekend, K-Pax, with, K-Pax? Kevin Spacey. Kevin Spacey. He's been cancelled. He's been cancelled,

but you still talk about his fine work on K-Pax. Yeah. Two scenes stick out, he eats a banana and says, you have great protus on this planet.

He calls protein protus for some fucking reason. Right. And also, it's, he goes, there's some, like and also it's he goes there's some like a detective who's investigating

this weird alien who's landed on the planet I think he's called K-Pax or his planet is K-Pax either but I don't know okay but he goes

you speak English very well and he goes well you should try English is nothing you should try learning

like he goes like from the planet well you should try English is nothing you should try learning like he goes like from the planet and it's like oh this is the worst film ever but I can't stop watching it

I love a bit of K-Pax would my grandad like it yeah I think he would it's quite a gentle film have we done the break or not

no we're heading to the break now we'll get back in a minute oh speaking of workmen I watched a video of a workman No, we're heading to the break now. We'll be back in a minute. Oh, speaking of workmen, I watched a video of a workman reversing his work because he hadn't been paid, aka smashing up an entire bathroom with a lump hammer.

It was great. I thought it right, though. Yes. How long did he wait? He was really late. Tell me it was longer than half an hour. That's not on my account. I'm getting smashy. He was really like tell me it was longer than that half an hour that's not on my account I'm getting smashy

he was really like emotionally led like I mean obviously he smashed something up but he was like kind of like quite business like

I'm going to smash up what I've been doing and then he came to the door and he went I've been working on this for two weeks I've put weeks into this that sounds like Kevin Spacey

he's really angry yeah wow what was the upshot he just smashed up all of the stuff I have receipts for all of these tiles smash put weeks into this. I sound like Kevin Spacey. He's really angry. Yeah. Wow. What was the upshot? He just smashed up all of the stuff. I have receipts for all of these tiles.

Smash. Smash. Smash. But he's not going to get paid then? No, well not now. Well, he's not being paid so he let himself

in the house and started smashing But what he should have done is he should have painstakingly taken it all down and taken the stuff and got his money back. No, you can't take out tiles

and all get like a crack. That would be a nightmare. Just do it all with a hammer. Do you know what annoys me about this? What? I'll send you a video like that and you'll either say one of two things. Right.

Instantly, you'll say, I've already seen it. I'm horny, daddy. I've already fucking seen it. Stop wasting my time. But two, that's obviously fake. And that sounds fake to me and you're not saying anything.

No, he was very emotional about it. I think sometimes you can just see someone's reaction and see the way that they're sort of doing stuff and you sort of go, that's a real reaction. Most people aren't good actors. But you know Kevin Spacey's not really K-Pax. We don't know that.

Let's do an email. Oh, batteries. Batteries. Fucking hell, it's Thursday. We'll do a battery. We'll do one this week and one next week because you'll go on holiday. All right.

Okay. And the first one I'm doing, by the way, my foot keeps rubbing on this leather chair. It's not me farting. Again, we don't know for sure. It's this. Really, listen. Oh.

It's that. It's my shoe. Lovely noise. The first person to email in with a battery this time around, and I'll be honest with you, this is the only reason I included him in it, Steve Cafe. Come on. What a included him in it. Steve Cafe. Come on.

That, what a name. Steve Cafe. Steve Cafe. It's brilliant, isn't it? Like the Hard Rock Cafe. Yeah. So he's come over with a tray with some batteries on it

and placed it down in front of us. And by the way, Steve Cafe, I'm going to read out your battery brand, but I'm not giving you a tip. Great cells. Great tip. Great sells. Great sells. Great sells. Yeah.

I don't think... Is that a new player? Can you search for me, please? I can't. Okay, I'll do it. I'll do it. Great sell. I'll do it now.

Don't worry, I'll do it now. Great sell has been... Yes, no, it's been sent in before. It's been sent in before on April of the 20th 2018 by Craig Riddell

who also who's the guy who emailed in about the guy who had shit living in his brain oh no in his head

like what's it called maggots in his head or whatever right okay oh just shit not actual shit then nah

right okay it wasn't shit for brains no so unlucky Steve Cafe unlucky Steve Cafe get yourselflucky Steve Cafe. Get yourself a latte and relax and try again next time.

So no new player. Even for a man who's called Steve Cafe, that is the weakest of all the joking around with his name he's probably ever experienced. He's probably like,

wow, I was expecting a little bit more to be honest. I'm also just going to do one very quickly by David Tick. Right, okay, again, a great name. Brilliant name, that's why it's caught my eye.

And he's got T-Way cells. T-Way? So that's T-E-W-A-Y C-E-L-L. I've searched for them, and I think they're a new player and I can't find them anywhere else, so I'm going to officially say if it's okay with you, Pete, that David Tick has got a new player entering the game

and he's a T-Way sell. T-Way sell. Interesting. Okay. Weird. More like next Thursday. Pete, do you want to do an email? Or shall I do one?

I'll do an email. Go for it. Lee Young. He's written not Chinese. He always says that. Emails regularly, yeah. But simply because we're talking about surnames. Regular emailer and therefore friend getting in touch about Icelandic surnames. Regular emailer and therefore friend

getting in touch about Icelandic surnames. Hi, Luke and Pete. After hearing you talk about Iceland, I thought I'd email in about Icelandic surnames. Although something is telling me that I may even have heard this on the Luke and Pete show originally, it seems, in your wheelhouse. Nonetheless, it's interesting and worth a second discussion.

Will we judge that? Yeah, we'll tell you. Sunshine Lee Young. Yes, they don't use surnames in the traditional sense. The male surname will be their father's first name followed by son

and the females have their father's first name followed by dotir, meaning daughter. For example, Stefan Gunnarsson could have a son and daughter and the names could be

Robert Stefansson and Helda Stefansdotir. Yeah. I kind of knew that already though. Helda Stefansson and Helder Stefansdottir. Yeah. No. I kind of knew that already though. Helder Stefansdottir. Helder Stefansdottir. The accent you're doing

sounds like... Stefansdottir. I think they have that... Do they? I can't roll my R's. Like a soft... It's not really a rolling, it's a very soft rolling.

Dotir. That's why I can never be a drum and bass or garage MC because I can't roll my R's. Have you seen the documentary? I was going to say it's a Vice documentary called Nest of Giants, about how a massive percentage

of the world's strongest human beings have come from this very small place in Iceland. Oh, interesting. So like, because world's strongest men are always like from that kind of place or Sweden. I can't remember

the name of it now. Magnus Ver Magnusson is the famous one. So is it kind of just that their ethnic kind of makeup or genetic makeup is kind of

just very specifically good for being strong in that? Weirdly I don't even think it's Reykjavik either. Right. It's another part of Iceland.

Everyone's kind of clumped together isn't it? Around the edges right because the main bits are as Marcus said this morning on

the Football Ramble sorry Andy Brassel said that it's a little bit like Australia in that the cities are kind of clumped together

and Marcus said disagreed because he once knew someone who went to Iceland and it was as much information as that

I mean what Andy's saying is absolutely spot on I know I know he said oh no my friends went to no my friends

didn't just go to Sydney they went to Bondi Beach he went Sydney what the most famous of the Sydney beaches I know nothing about Australia and you are just

falling very short in this conversation Alan Partridge once says that he spent a lot of time in America and he just tails off by going Florida mainly

yeah two weeks in Florida but when I was in Iceland a guy there was a we did a little coach trip with this quite eccentric man

it was brilliant and the coach trip started at like 9am which is fine but it was obviously fucking dark so it felt like you got up in the middle of the night

really weird and he told I just got you know me you find this infuriating about me obviously the coach trip

there were hardly people on it me and I were on it and I sat right at the front and I was just asking the coach driver and the guy

all these questions but it was fucking good because he ended up telling me a story that I don't think he would have told about when he unwar warmed him up.

Yeah. When the big Icelandic volcano erupted however many years ago. I hear Iceland. Yeah, exactly that. He was one of the people who was driving into the eye of the volcano towards it, getting people out with his coach. Oh, with his coach. Yeah.

Oh, interesting. And the way he told the story, it was like ash was falling like snow all around yeah and you're in Iceland anyway cool it was amazing wow

so you know Iceland's a great Iceland is no joke would your I know they had to ground all the planes because of the ash cloud but would that be

also because you're still sucking in air aren't you when you're you still need air to burn I don't think it was advisory

yeah I think I think the guys who did it were particularly brave doing it. Driving in there. I mean, I think a lot of that ash would be probably hot as well. No.

Surely by the time it gets to the ground, surely not. Surely not. Surely not. You shouldn't be breathing it in though, don't you? No, it's probably not ideal. It's very carcinogenic, you imagine. Anyway, thanks, Lee Young, who's not Chinese. And Lee also says, my previous emails have included the man whose finger exploded

and a UFO shooting. I don't know what that means. I'm pleased to say that I'm sure it's absolutely accurate. What else have we got here? Okay, what about this one then? Grandfather searches for porn on WhatsApp. We like to see it. This is from Tom.

Hi, Tom. He says, recent emails about family porn collections reminded me of a hilarious moment in a family WhatsApp chat. My mum, who I don't recall having a porn stash,

gave her parents, my grandparents, an old iPhone and set them up on WhatsApp. Right. With the idea being that we shared photos

with them once in a while. After setting up the phone, and my granddad's on our WhatsApp family chat, by the way. He loves it. Yeah? Yeah, he's very adept at using it. Tom says, after setting up the phone and my granddad's on our WhatsApp family chat by the way. He loves it. Yeah? Yeah, he's very adept at using it. Tom says after

setting up the phone, leeching from their neighbours open Wi-Fi for the connection their children and grandchildren would regularly share photos and videos. It was going well until the day my grandpa affectionately known as Poppy decided he'd take advantage of the internet to look for porn. The only issue was he mistook WhatsApp

for a search engine. As you can see from the screen grab, there is a screen grab included, guys, I can confirm that, it started innocently enough with him searching for the word poem. Before moving on to potential, which clearly was an autocorrect mistake, before a gap, and then finally he settled on porn. When questioned about it,

he blamed the iPhone for searching for porn on its own. Come on. Yeah, but like, I think if he has tried to spell several different words, surely that's fine, isn't it? Because he's settled on porn, but does he actually kind of, he clearly didn't get any porn backs because he's on the WhatsApp, no? It's an Ed Balls moment, isn't it? Tom finishes the email by saying,

a hilarious moment for a sadly now departed couple. Oh. That's sad. That is sad. But he says, my family... Maybe there's some porn up there. He says, my family won't mind me sharing. Thanks, guys. Tom.

Down there, dirty boy. Thanks, Tom. Oh, do that. Do that. Oh, a car horn. It's the offensive horn. Do you know what the last thing my dad sent to me on WhatsApp? I don't know.

Do I want to know? Well, I don't know. As I... to know? Well, I don't know. As I, where was I? I was, yeah, he wrote, and yet I still can't

lick my own arsehole. Okay. And that's reference to what? I said he was the human manifestation of a cat video and then he texted, and yet I still can't lick my own arsehole.

Which I don't think cats can do, can they? Yeah, they can. Can they? Yeah. Literally, one of mine

was doing it when I left the house this morning. Why are they so ill-tempered then? It's hard to say. I was visiting an uncle, so one of my uncles is a great guy,

very eccentric. He's a Victorian military historian. I don't see him very often. He's always doing stuff round and about all over the place. And he's got a cat

called Bertie. Cute cat. Cute cat. And I went to go visit him because I went to pick up, you know my dad started refurbishing benches always doing stuff round and about all over the place and he's got a cat called Bertie cute cat and I went to go visit him because I went to pick up you know my dad started refurbishing benches yes so my uncle got him

some bench ends and my dad doesn't have a car so I went to go and pick them up I went round there I hadn't seen him for ages chatting away oh by the way

he's massively into video games right he's in his late 60s and he is like a legend like legend of video gaming right he's got I actually took a photo of his set up to show you.

I completely forgot about this. Alright. Let me show you it now. What do you make of this set up he's got? Let me find it. Hang on a sec. Luke's just searching

his mobile phone galleries. I took a photo of it. A man in his 60s video game set up. But it was really impressive. So what was it? what was he playing on? Here we go, look at this. What do you think of that setup?

Let's have a look. Oh, yes, that's a pre-build, I think. That's an Alienware pre-build. Yeah. And he's playing some kind of... Fallout 76? Is that Fallout 76? Yeah.

Wow, he's doing all this. He's playing it. Fantastic. Yeah, he's got an Avia light-up keyboard. Oh, he's got a lovely USB dongle extender. Yeah, he's got an Avia light-up keyboard. Oh, he's got a lovely USB dongle extender. Yeah. I like a bit of that. It's a serious setup, right?

It is a serious setup, yeah. Nice mouse, gaming mouse, massive gaming little mouse pad. It looks like he's got dual screens as well. All in all, excellent. Yeah, I'll pass it on. Fantastic. Anyway, that wasn't a story I'll pass it on. Fantastic. Anyway, that wasn't a story I was going to tell.

He definitely builds his own computers and stuff, which is cool. He's a man like in his late 60s, he's just really into it, which I think is cool.

Anyway, Clive Sinclair died recently. Hey? Clive Sinclair died recently. I know, I saw that. It's hard to understate his influence.

No need for a flowery kind of explanation about why he's so important, but it's hard to understand. There are very few people who work in video games or computer technology that does not,

do not have a massive debt to what he did. It's hard to understate just how much content and mileage out of it. A load of tragic 30-something comedians got as well on Twitter.

Oh, right. Okay, what? He was talking about his little car. Oh, here's my, here's the great adventure I had playing one of his games

back in 1988, you know, when I was courting and trying to go after him. You know what, just that fucking bullshit. Just that fucking nonsense that 30-something comedians say

happened that didn't happen. Right. And I wish they would just say at the start of everything they fucking do, this didn't happen, but I've got nothing in my life. Anyway,

back to the Luke and Pete show. What was I going to say? He's got a cat called Bertie. Oh God, is that what we're waiting for? Oh my God. It's funny. It's a funny story. And the cat's got a magnet on its collar for the cat flap. The night before,

my Uncle David, he was cracking up about it, saying you never guess what happened last night. The cat didn't come in all night. Right. And I woke up in the morning, and I could hear this tapping, and the cat could get in the cat flap, because somehow on the magnet, he'd got a kitchen fork stuck to it. Stuck across, which was stopping him coming in the cat flap.

Fantastic. Oh, I guess cats aren't across the hall. Like a dog with two bigger sticks. Yes, trying to get down bigger sticks but a magneted fork a magneted fork I didn't think that forks would even be magnetic fantastic we're learning so much from this little cat

I know, great stuff, good on him Bertie and good on my uncle for playing his video games he's into Victorian military history and video games nothing vicious what else does a man need let's do it we'll be back on Monday won't we we'll pre-reckon Monday and Thursday history and video games. Nothing vicious. What else does a man need? That's all he needs. Cool. Let's do it. Once again. We'll be back on Monday,

won't we? We will be, yeah. We're pre-reckon Monday and Thursday because you're going to be on holiday. Yeah. But we'll pretend we're doing it like normal. Yeah. So avoidance of any doubt

for anyone listening on Monday, you're still getting the same service. Yeah. Just don't hit the live text number. You don't know. Don't do the Ant and Dec thing where they got in trouble. And no one would know

when I was on holiday if I didn't tell you about my holiday. I don't really sort of tweet the Ant and Dec thing they've got in trouble and no one would know when I was on holiday if I didn't tell you about my holiday I don't really sort of tweet or Instagram so nobody would know now you do a load of really well taken

photos months later a little photo dump don't you I send I send I send my my basic social media sort of style is

just messaging the ramble at WhatsApp nobody replies and I just get it off my chest yeah it's absolutely fine. You did post a good video the other day

of that little kid and that guy in that little mini car. Incredible. Unbelievable. Just unbelievable. So good. A man in a little car. All right, we'll be back on Monday for more of this. Stay frosty and drop us an email.

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